Parting Gifts
(Gateway for Lost Souls)
(Angel stands before the Oracles.)
Man: You try our patience. What is done…
Angel: Can not be undone, you keep saying that. But I need Doyle. You can fold time, you’ve done it before. Bring him back.
Woman: To what end? To nullify his noble death? To leave his atonement unfulfilled?
Angel: If it means he lives.
Man: He doesn’t so that you may.
Woman: You do so that others will.
Angel: He’s my friend.
Woman: If that is so, then so shall it ever be.
Man: But it is of no consequence.
Woman: The war rages on.
Man: Do not come to us again on so self serving a matter.
Angel: There is one consequence, even by your generous standards: Doyle was my sole contact to the Powers That Be. Without his visions – I’m fighting blind.
Woman: All will soon be made clear. For every door that closes, another opens.
Man: And for everyone that opens…
(He lifts his arm and they disappear in a flash of light.)
(Alley)
(A human like demon with two horn buds on each temple runs down an alley. A man on a motorcycle, clad all in black is following him.)
(Angel Investigations)
(Cordelia is examining the coffee cup sitting by the coffee maker one by one.)
Angel: What are you looking for?
Cordelia: Nothing. Doyle’s special coffee mug.
Angel: Doyle didn’t have a special mug.
Cordelia: Don’t you think he should have? (Goes to sit down) I don’t know, I guess I thought it would make me feel better if I could hold something tangible that he left behind. Some evidence he was here? But there is nothing. Almost like – like he never…
Angel: Cordelia, get out.
Cordelia: What?
Angel: I-I mean, of the office. Take the day off. Go live your life a little bit. I can manage here.
Cordelia: (gets up) Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Angel.
Angel: What am I doing?
Cordelia: You’re trying to push me away, close yourself off.
Angel: That’s not what…
Cordelia: Well, I got news for you, broody boy. We’re all we’ve got now. You may not like sharing your grief with others, but that’s the normal, healthy way people deal with loss. I’m not going anywhere, so get used to it. I’m staying right here! (the alarm on her watch goes off) Oops! Got to go. Commercial audition. If it wasn’t a national I’d blow it off.
Angel: Well, if you don’t feel up to it then don’t go. Stay here.
Cordelia: Reverse psychology, very cute, don’t worry. I’m going.
Angel: I’m not…
Cordelia: But don’t get any ideas. I’m coming back!
Angel: Right.
(Cordelia opens the door just as the demon from the alley is about to knock and lets out a scream.)
Barney: You scared the heck out of me!
Cordelia: I scared you? Look in the mirror lately?
Barney: Every chance I get! (Points at Angel as he walks past Cordelia.) You’re him – right? You’re the guy, the – the – the vampire with a soul?
Angel: I’m Angel.
Barney: Yeah. You got to help me! Please. I-I mean that’s what you do, right? You help the helpless? You protect the, what do you call them? The, the – helpless?
Angel: Something like that.
Barney: Yeah.
Cordelia: You want me to stay?
Angel: It’s okay.
Barney: (to Cordelia) Break a leg.
Cordelia: Excuse me?
Barney: I’m sensing a little performance anxiety here. Little trick, picture everybody…
Cordelia: In their underwear.
Barney: I was going to say dead, but hey, if that underwear thing works for you…
(Cordelia leaves.)
Angel: So (walks into his office and sits down behind his desk) what’s the problem?
Barney: Call me Barney. First off you should know right away before there is any misunderstanding: I’m a demon.
Angel: I appreciate the candor.
Barney: Secondly, I just realized it’s 3:45 in the afternoon. If you’re a vampire, why aren’t you in your coffin?
Angel: (takes a deep breath) Coffin. I hate that stereotype. You’re a demon and you don’t know anything about vampires?
Barney: Only what I’ve learned from TV.
Angel: Vampires don’t sleep in coffins. It’s a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. (Gets up) In fact you know, we can and do move around during the day, as long as we avoid direct sunlight. Got it?
Barney: (sits down) Got it. Sorry. I didn’t want to push any sore spots.
(Audition)
(Cordelia stands there, looking very nervous.)
Man: Okay. Let’s try this whenever you’re ready.
Woman: Action.
2. Man: Just look at the wine stain on my shirt! I can’t meet your folks looking like this!
Cordelia: (holding up a white shirt) Don’t worry honey, it’s no problem with extra strength stain-be-gone.
2. Man: Extra strength stain-be-gone?
Cordelia: Yup. Now stain-be-gone is more effective at melting away (takes a deep breath) stubborn (forces a smile) blood – wine - even grass stains. See, just spray it on - and rub it in (starts to sob) and in minutes the stain is gone! (Cries) It’s completely gone.
(The three people at the table look at each other.)
Man: Okay, that was…
2. Man: Good. That was good. Good.
Woman: Very nice.
Man: But I think what we’re going for here is more of a…
Woman: Happy.
Man: Yeah, happy. More of an up feeling that the stain is gone.
2. Man: Yeah, because obviously stains are, you know…
Woman: Not good.
Man: Exactly.
2. Man: Yeah. Right.
Cordelia: I’m sorry.
2. Man: I’m sorry.
Man: It’s an interesting choice. (Cordelia wipes her tears away.) Let’s try it again. Let’s go from…
2. Man: Stain-be gone is more effective.
Man: Yeah.
(They stare in amazement as Cordelia hops up and down a in front off the camera, then smiles and starts again.)
Cordelia: Now stain-be-go-ugh! (She gets hit with one of Doyle’s visions but tries desperately to continue with the commercial besides the intense pain and disorientation.) is - more – effective (stamps her foot and yells) grass stains!
(There is a stunned silence for a moment.)
Man: Okay. Nice adjustment.
2. Man: Nice.
Woman: Thank you.
(Korea Town)
(The man on the motorcycle rides down the street.)
(Angel Investigations)
Angel: Who’s hunting you?
Barney: I don’t know. But who ever he is, he’s unstoppable. Like a machine. Been on my tail for a few states, ever since Phoenix. Pull out all the stops to shake him – but he keeps on coming.
Angel: What makes you think he means you harm?
Barney: I don’t think he’s tracking me down to tell me that I’ve won the Publishers’ Clearing House. He’s an assassin.
(Korea Town)
(The man gets off his motorcycle.)
(Angel Investigations)
Angel: Is he a demon?
Barney: He could be. He knows all the haunts and hangouts. It seems wherever I go he’s just a step or two behind. You know, it’s a miracle that I’ve eluded him this long.
(Korea Town)
(The motorcycle man opens a bag on the back of the bike that contains swords, stakes, and other weapons. He takes out a crossbow.)
(Angel Investigations)
Angel: Why you?
Barney: What do you mean?
Angel: Who are you?
Barney: That’s what I’m saying. I’m nothing. I’m a nobody. I’m just a guy trying to get by in this world. No different from anybody else!
Angel: In my experience, when one is being pursued that tenaciously, it’s generally because the pursuer has a strong grievance against the pursued.
Barney: Uh, hey, man, I never said I was a Boy Scout. I’m an empath demon. I can read emotions. It gives me a slight advantage at cards. You know, Black Jack, Poker. Ooh, it’s also good for the fights.
Angel: So you’re a cheat.
Barney: I chose to think of it as going with my strengths. Look, whatever. I’m a demon. I’m evil. But I’m not, you know Evil!
(Korea Town)
(The motorcycle man examines some yellow slimes coating the corner of a building.)
(Angel Investigations)
Angel: And you can’t think of anyone that’s got a beef with you.
Barney: No one! But like my old man always said: you can’t please everybody. So you’re gonna help me?
(Time Lapse)
(Cordelia slowly comes into the office. Angel looks up from what he’s writing.)
Angel: Hi. (Cordelia walks towards him with a strange look on her face) Everything okay? (Cordelia put one arm around his neck and kisses him.) Mmm – mmp (pushes her away) okay, um, Cordelia, that was, uh –You know, I think that you’re acting out of grief and you’re confusing our friendship with something more…
Cordelia: I didn’t feel anything. - Did you feel anything?
Angel: No! You see that’s what I’m trying to…
Cordelia: Urgh! That means I still have it! Damn, I can’t believe he did this to me!
Angel: Who did what?
Cordelia: Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something, and instead he - he used that moment to pass it on to me! (Angel wipes his lips and looks at his fingers) Why couldn’t it have been mono or herpes!
Angel: C-Cordelia…
Cordelia: I didn’t ask for this responsibility, unlike some people, who shall remain lifeless! I don’t have anything to atone for. If they know what’s good for them, the PTB better just stay out of my head.
Angel: The Powers That Be. You had a vision.
Cordelia: Boy! Howdy. And guess what, you know how they look painful? Well, they feel a whole lot worse!
Angel: (sits down) Another door opens. You’re my link to – the Powers, now.
Cordelia: I’m nobody’s link to anybody. I lost control of my entire nervous system getting that stupid vision – and I’m not certain, but I think I may have – drooled a little – at the first audition I’ve had in weeks.
Angel: (gets up) What was it?
Cordelia: Ah, stain-be-gone, it was a national no less. They probably never call me again.
Angel: (hits the table and snaps his fingers) The vision! What was the vision?
Cordelia: Oh. Pfft! Who knows. It was a thing!
Angel: A thing?
Cordelia: An ugly, gray, blobby thing. What difference does it make?
Angel: The difference is if you saw it in a vision it could be an ugly, gray, blobby, dangerous thing!
Cordelia: I don’t care, I want it out of me! And if kissing is the only way to get rid of it I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom!
Barney: (comes out of a door buttoning his sleeves) Oh, sorry. I thought I heard voices.
Angel: Uh, Barney you remember my associate Cor-(Cordelia goes up and kisses Barney)-delia?
Cordelia: Maybe not every frog.
Barney: Boy! I got to say I like the way you people treat your clients!
Cordelia: Excuse me (Barney goes into the outer office, and Cordy keeps spitting then asks Angel in a whisper) He’s a client?
Angel: Apparently someone or something is after him.
Cordelia: That ugly, gray blobby thing?
Angel: You tell me. (Hands her paper and pen) Try sketching it. In the mean time, Barney would probably feel safer down stairs. Baby-sit him until I get back.
Cordelia: Where are you going?
Angel: To check out his apartment. He thinks whatever is chasing him knows where he lives. (Turns around on his way out) Hey, and behave yourself. I don’t want to find you two necking on the couch when I get back.
(Barney’s Apartment Building)
(Angel steps off the elevator into a dimly lit hallway. Cut to the boots of the motorcycle guy walking up the stairs. Cut to Angel walking up to a door. The camera shows the silhouette of the motorcycle guy, holding a crossbow by his side illuminated momentarily by the blinking light next to the elevator. Angel touches the door frame and examines his fingers, then spins around as the door opposite opens. It’s a maid pulling a cleaning cart. She smiles at Angel and he smiles back, then opens the apartment door, only to get pushed into it from behind. He turns around to find a crossbow aimed at him by a dark figure. The guy in black leather steps forward and we see that it’s Wesley.)
Wesley: Hello, Angel.
Angel: (with his hands in his pockets) Wesley.
Wesley: I wager you thought, you’d never see me again.
Angel: To tell you the truth I hadn’t given it much thought one way or the other. What are you…
Wesley: (still pointing the crossbow at Angel’s face) Hup-up-up! I’m the one asking the questions here. I think it only fair to warn you, any sudden movement and I’d be forced to… (Angel casually bats the crossbow out of his hand.) Right. You had a question?
(Angel suppresses a smile and walks around Wesley.)
Angel: Interesting look for you. Motorcycle. The Watchers Council trying out a new image?
Wesley: (walks further into the apartment) In point of fact I no longer work for the Council. I came to the conclusion that I was of greater value to the cause working autonomously.
(Wesley stumbles over something and catches himself on the edge of the bed.)
Angel: They fired you.
Wesley: Hardly. With Buffy unwilling to follow Council orders there was simply no opportunity to function as Watcher. And that’s why I became a rouge demon hunter.
Angel: You’re a demon hunter?
Wesley: *Rogue* demon hunter! And I’m on the trail of a particularly nasty bugger right now. So, I suggest you stay out of my way.
Angel: Easy, tiger. I think you might be making a mistake. If we’re talking about the same demon here, he seems pretty harmless to me.
Wesley: He’s left a trail of corpses, human and demon, all mutilated.
Angel: Mutilated?
Wesley: Each of the victims possessed some unique power – telepathy, poison tongues, healing hands. Whatever the physical source of their power it was ripped, gouged, torn from their corpses.
Angel: He’s collecting powers.
Wesley: For what purpose I can only guess. The fiend has cut a swath across half the continent. I almost caught up with it in Phoenix. Got a pretty fair look, too.
Angel: Kind of short, ruddy complexion?
Wesley: Short? No, on the contrary, quite enormous – and powerful. More of a yellow-green. And it seems lately to be secreting some sort of viscous, yellow fluid.
Angel: (looks at a yellow blob on Wesley’s jacket) Like that?
(Another blob lands beside it and they both look up. The demon that had been clinging to the ceiling drops down to land on his face between them. It hits Wesley and throws him across the room. Angel and the demon are a bit more evenly matched, but after a short exchange of blows it knocks Angel to the ground as it turns around Wesley hits it in the chest with a crossbow bolt. The demon screams and jumps out of the window. Angel and Wesley watch it run away.)
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Cordelia is sketching the thing she saw.)
Barney: I hear that drawing can be very therapeutic during the grieving period.
Cordelia: (looks up) What?
Barney: I’m – I’m sorry. I couldn’t help sensing your pain. You lost someone close to you, didn’t you?
Cordelia: Angel told you?
Barney: (shakes his head) I’m empathic. I feel your feelings when you feel them. It’s a gift my kind is blessed with.
Cordelia: Really. Well, my kind thinks that some things are private. So maybe you shouldn’t be nosing around other peoples feelings without asking them.
Barney: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to make conversation.
Cordelia: Wait. Barney, I’m sorry. I’m just going through a difficult time right now. I’m just – uhm…
Barney: Missing your friend. (Cordelia nods) Why don’t you tell me about him?
Cordelia: Doyle? Well, he drank too much and his taste in clothing was like a Greek tragedy. (Barney chuckles) And he could be really sweet sometimes. (Cordelia swallows hard) You’ll like this: he was half demon. A secret he kept from me for – like- ever. I guess that’s the reason he sometimes smelled weird? You know, you remind me a little of him.
Barney: (with a laugh) I take that as a compliment. (Angel and Wesley come down the stairs. Barney sees Wesley.) That’s him!
Angel: Look, Barney…
Barney: (gets ready to run) That’s the guy that’s after me!
Angel: (goes after Barney) It’s okay! (To Wesley) The books are over there.
Wesley: Good Lord. Cordelia? (Cordelia gets up and walks up to him.) Angel never mentioned… Well, this is nice – (Cordelia reaches up and kisses him. Wesley pulls her close and kisses her back. After a moment Cordelia pulls away.) – surprise.
Cordelia: (shakes herself) It didn’t work!
Wesley: No? Hmm. I thought it went considerably better than last time.
Cordelia: No, it was just a kind of experiment. I was trying to… (really looks at him for the first time) Wesley? What are you doing here? Are you working with Angel?
Wesley: A lone wolf, such as myself, never works with anyone. I’m merely allowing Angel to assist me.
Cordelia: Oh, wow.
Wesley: I’m a rogue demon hunter now.
Cordelia: Oh, wow. - What’s a rogue demon?
(Barney and Angel come back into the apartment and Wesley goes over to look at the books.)
Barney: So what you’re telling me is that all this time your friend wasn’t hunting me, he was hunting something else that was hunting me?
Angel: That’s about the size of it.
Barney: And that something else was after me because…
Angel: It wants to steal your empathic ability.
Cordelia: The feeling feelings thing? What kind of demon would do that to another demon?
Wesley: (comes back carrying an open book) A Kungai.
Barney: A Kungai?
Wesley: The description matches. It’s of Asian origin, very deadly. A powerful race of demon’s, the Kungai possess a Tak horn, capable of consuming its opponents life force. - We’re lucky to have escaped with our lives.
Barney: I know theses Kungais. They – they’re killers. They’re relentless. (to Angel) You got to take this thing out before it finds me.
Angel: I’m working on it. I have to find it first.
(Angel tries to take the book from Wesley, who doesn’t want to let go of it. They have a little tug-of-war, with Angel as the victor.)
Wesley: Hang on. It’s of Asian origin. Earlier today I tracked it through an Asian district just north of here.
Cordelia: That’s Korea Town.
Wesley: It’s very likely it’s hiding there.
Angel: (closes the book) Then that’s where I start looking.
Wesley: Don’t you mean we?
Angel: (gets his coat) I work alone, Wesley.
Wesley: The hell you say. This demon is mine! (Angel walks past him) Angel. I know how to track him. You’re not catch him without me by your side.
Angel: (turns to look at him) I had someone by my side. He’s dead now. I won’t let that happen again. I – work – alone.
Wesley: You don’t even know where to begin to look.
Angel: (going up the stairs) I have a pretty good idea.
Wesley: (puts the book down on the stairs) Yes. Well. (Gets ready to sit down, but changes his mind with a grimace of pain.) Ahh.
Cordelia: Are you alright, Wesley?
Wesley: No. These pants, they tend to chafe one’s (looks at Cordelia) – legs.
(Korea Town – Lotus Spa)
(Angel and desk man speak in Korean.)
Soon: Kungai? You must be joking, Angel. They scare away the regulars.
Angel: You don’t mind if I take a look around, do you, Soon?
Soon: You can’t come in here, disturbing our customers like this.
Angel: (pulls out some money) Forgive me. I respect you have a business to run.
Soon: (accepts the folded bill) He’s in the back.
Angel: Show me.
(Back Rooms)
(Angel is walking through the spa. There are curtained of cubicles with steam rising from behind them. Angel uses his fighting axe to push one of the curtains a little aside and look behind it. He’s almost at the end of the hallway when one of the curtains behind him is suddenly pushed aside. Angel spins around, axe ready as an ugly green, horned demon with a white towel wrapped around his waist steps out.)
Demon: Hey, do you know where they do the Shiatsu massage?
(Angel blinks a couple times, says nothing, and walks on.)
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Cordelia has finished her drawing.)
Barney: Hey, that’s kind of nice. What is it?
Cordelia: I don’t know. I don’t know! (Rips the page off, crumples it up and throws it on the floor.) I don’t know.
Barney: You’re frustrated.
Cordelia: That’s one spooky talent you got there. You can just look at me grinding my teeth, sighing, grunting and *sense* that I’m frustrated? Amazing!
Barney: It’s pretty good at sensing sarcasm, too. Can I help?
Cordelia: Not unless you can explain to me why I have to suffer head-splitting migraines, getting visions so vague, they require close captioning.
Barney: What do you mean, um, visions?
Cordelia: That friend of mine, Doyle? He used to get these brain flashes. Messages from the PTB. (Barney shakes his head in question.) The Powers That Be. Visions of all sorts of stuff: people in trouble, things about to cause trouble, places trouble is happening in.
Barney: And you’re friend left you with that little inheritance?
Cordelia: I’m never going to forgive him for doing this to me.
Barney: What? Choosing you? Trusting you with an enormous responsibility? Believing that you where the only one worthy of such a rare and important gift?
Cordelia: Did I mention the drooling?
Barney: I get the impression that Doyle didn’t have much by way of possessions?
Cordelia: No. No he didn’t.
Barney: Seems like he gave you the most valuable thing he had.
(Lotus Spa)
(Angel walks into a back room in the spa. The Kungai is laying on a table with an old lady wiping its brow.)
Lady: (in Korean) He’s dying.
(Angel’s Apartment)
Cordelia: (looking in Angel’s fridge) I hope you like your coffee black, because the only lightener the boss has in his refrigerator is O positive.
Barney: Black is great. (As Cordelia makes the coffee Barney walks a ways away, and pulls out a small cell phone.) It’s me. Of course I got the Kungai horn. It’s in a safe place. But listen (turns to look at Cordelia in the kitchen) I think I just found something even better. (hangs up)
(Cordelia pours the coffee and takes the cups over to the table.)
Cordelia: It’s kind of strong and a little clumpy. Never could brew the old fashioned way. I’m more the auto-drip girl. Sorry.
Barney: (grinning) Yes, you are.
Cordelia: What?
Barney: Sorry. Pathetic, really.
Cordelia: Well, thanks for that insight, Mr. Emotional Radar.
Barney: How old are you?
Cordelia: That is none of your…
Barney: Twenty-something? Hmm? With your head all up in the clouds and your feet in –hmm - shoes you can’t afford? All self-absorbed, full of regret. Poor, poor you. Poor little Cordelia with her delusions of an acting career.
Cordelia: Delusions?
Barney: You don’t possibly think you’ll succeed, do you? You’re a terrible actress.
Cordelia: You have never seen me. How could you possibly know?
Barney: Because you know. You feel it. Your entire being is whispering it to me right now. Me, on the other hand, you got to admit, I’m a pretty fine actor. Fooled you! (Cordelia tries to run, but he cuts her off.) You don’t like to hear the truth. No wonder your friend never told you about his demon half.
Cordelia: You don’t know anything about me or Doyle.
Barney: I know you let him die.
Cordelia: That is not true.
Barney: No. But it feels true, doesn’t it? Mixed in with all the pain and the grief, oh, a healthy dollop of guilt. A nagging thought that – that maybe some how you could have saved him. If only you’d have been nicer to him. If only you’d let your walls down. If only for ONE freaking second you gave a damn about anyone besides yourself.
(He grabs Cordelia by her arms.)
Cordelia: Let me…
Barney: (shakes her) Oh, shut up! So, you hate your gift, the visions? You probably would love to rip those pretty little eyes right out of your head. I know I would.
(Throws her against the table.)
(Lotus Spa)
(Angel picks up the crossbow bolt and smells it. The Kungai grabs his arm and tries to tell him something.)
Angel: I don’t know your language.
(Wesley walks in, looking much more like his Watcher self in a white suit.)
Wesley: I do. At least I think I recognize the dialect.
Angel: Well, then it’s a good thing you happened by.
Wesley: I wouldn’t have thought the wound I gave him was fatal.
Angel: It wasn’t the arrow. Look at his head. His Tak horn’s been broken off.
(Wesley leans over the Kungai and tries to translate.)
Wesley: Not stick. No, horn. (To Angel) I think he’s trying to tell us that his horn was taken.
Angel: We got that. The question is by whom.
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Cordelia lies face down on the kitchen table as Barney ties her hands behind her back.)
Barney: Good, terror! I’m feeling it. You have no idea what a rush it is! Keep it coming.
(Lotus Spa)
Wesley: The horn was taken. (To Angel) He said his horn was taken for something, the Klu-(click)-ka. I’m not familiar with that word. (Turns back to the Kungai) Yes. Fish. Fish will die. Not Fish. More. (To Angel) He says more will die.
Angel: Yeah, okay. How? Who’d doing this?
Wesley: No good losing patience. He’s dying and I’m not exactly fluent.
(Angel’s Apartment)
Cordelia: Wait! Ahh! A vision! I’m having a vision. (Barney pulls her up form the table.) A demon, a creepy, little – you! It’s definitely you! In great, great…
Barney: Danger?
Cordelia: (knees him in the groin) Pain!
(She runs but Barney catches her before she can get as far as the stairs.)
Barney: I really don’t want to hurt you. Bruises bring down the price.
Cordelia: (screams) Help!
(Barney hits her and she falls down.)
Barney: But not by much.
(Lotus Spa)
Wesley: Bit to the cherry? Slam the cherry? Oh, no, oh dear. Stop. Stop the demon? Red – heart. Reader. (The Kungai sinks back dead.) He was trying to describe his killer. Demon, heart, reader.
Angel: Empath demon. Barney.
(Auction)
(Cordelia laying bound and gagged in some storage room. She opens her eyes and sees the gray blob (a sculpture) that she has been trying to draw. There are all kinds of labeled body parts, including a still beating heart under a glass cover.)
Hank: That’s too much trouble! How about we just pop out the eyes, and we’ll dump the body?
Barney: We get at least an extra thousand if the seer’s eyes are intact, so drop it. - Shouldn’t you be cataloguing gypsy flesh?
Hank: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Angel and Wesley run down the stairs in Angel’s apartment.)
Angel: Cordelia! - Cordelia!
Wesley: This is all my fault.
Angel: We both left her here. Neither of us knew.
Wesley: I should have. All this time I’ve been tracking the wrong demon. If anything happens to Cordelia because of me…
Angel: Nothing is going to happen to Cordelia. I won’t let it. In case you’re wondering, this is me looking for a clue. Feel free to join in any time you want.
Wesley: I’m a fool. The Council was right to sack me. Yes, I was fired. I had two, two! Slayers in my care. One turns evil and now vegetates in a coma, the other is a renegade. Fire me? I’m surprised they didn’t cut my head off. (Angel finds Cordelia’s crumpled drawing) I’m useless. - A fool. A sniveling great, big…
Angel: Ugly, gray blobby thing.
Wesley: Ugly, gray, blobby thing. –What?
Angel: I know this. It’s a sculpture by Van Gieson, Maiden with Urn. (Shows it to Wesley) Cordelia saw this in a vision. It could be telling us where Barney took her.
Wesley: So, we ascertain the sculptures whereabouts, Cordelia’s whereabouts – then you can go rescue her.
Angel: *We* can go rescue her. I need your help, Wesley. The Kungai said Barney wanted the horn for something.
Wesley: Klu(click)ka.
Angel: You’re the only one in this room who could translate that. Are you with me? (Wesley gets up and nods.) Good.
(Time Lapse)
(Angel sits at a computer. A picture of the sculpture is on the screen.)
Angel: Van Gieson’s Maiden with Urn was sold to the Ramsey Hotel Chain in ‘82. There are twelve hotels between here and San Diego, it’s got to be in one of them.
Wesley: (lays down an open book on the table) I keep running up against a translation for Klu(click)kla, which translates as Caller Sale – Caller - Caller Sale – Yes, of course! I know what Klu(click)ka is.
Angel: What?
Wesley: Auction.
(Auction)
(There are all kinds of demons and humans on the floor, including a sleek businesswoman with ‘Wolfram & Hart’ on her briefcase.)
Barney: Sold! For 20,000 to number 118, the dapper gentleman in the center isle. Well-done, sir. You are now the proud owner of an authentic Tak horn. Stab your enemies with it, heck, stab your wife, it’ll drain the life right out of them. The power to drain a life force is an investment in peace of mind. (Hank takes the red cushion with the horn on it way.) Next up lot 32. We’re very lucky to have this here today. It’s a rare, and beautiful find.
(Hank hands the cushion to a guy, who just lead Cordelia in. Hank takes off her gag.)
Cordelia: I’m really not a seer. I only had a vision once, and I’m pretty sure it was just something I ate!
(Hank puts his hand over her mouth. He then leads her on stage.)
Barney: The magnificent eyes of a seer. Your very own pipeline to the Powers That Be, folks. The possibilities are endless. Keep the girl as a slave, remove the head as a trophy, or simply harvest the eyes, in any case a unique party icebreaker. It doesn’t get any better than this. Let’s start the bidding at 2,000. Do I hear 2,000? – Ah, 2,000. Do I hear 2,000 and five? 2,000 and five, do I hear three? 8,000, do I hear nine? Come on, I don’t have to tell some of you what a rare find this is. – 9,000. Nine gets me ten. 10,000. 10,000, do I hear 10? Ah, 10! Do I have 11? 11,000. 11,000 form the gentleman in the back! Do we have 12? - Seer’s eyes going at 11,000, do I hear 12?
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Angel hangs up the phone as Wesley tapes a knife to his leg.)
Angel: Hotel Ramsey in LA recently redecorated. The Van Gieson sculpture used to be in the lobby.
(Auction)
Barney: 11,000 it is. 11,000 once, twice…
Cordelia: Hey, you know you pay twice that for cataracts. These eyes are flawless even without the stupid visions! That’s the best you can do?
Barney: 12,000. I have 12,000 from the gentleman. 13,000? 13,000? Going for 12,000…
Cordelia: You know what these eyes can do? They can see stuff – like danger, and – and evil and locations buried treasure!
Barney: 13,000, do I hear 13?
Cordelia: Come on, have some huevoes, guy! Whity here is stepping all over you. You’re going to take that form his kind?
(The white faced guy looks at the white haired guy sitting next to him and lifts his paddle.)
Barney: 13. (The white haired guy lifts his paddle) Uh, 14. – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18…
(The lady from Wolfram & Hart listens to a voice on her cell phone.)
Lawyer: You decide.
Barney: 19 (the white faced guy hits the other guy over the head and lifts his paddle with a smile) 20,000 form the gentleman in the center isle, going once, going twice…
Lawyer: 30,000.
Barney: Huh, sold for 30,000 to the lovely lawyer form Wolfram & Hart.
(Back Room)
(The auction is over and people are picking up their winnings.)
Barney: I’m sure your people will be happy with their purchase.
Lawyer: We won’t be needing the body. My employers have requested that the eyes be extracted.
Barney: Well, an extraction is a very delicate process. We run the risk of damaging the gift. It’s going to cast you an extra thou.
Lawyer: Please! Extraction is always included in the price.
Barney: Not with seer’s eyes.
Lawyer: Never hear do of such a thing.
Barney: There’s never been such a thing like this on the market. - An extra thousand or you take it as is.
Lawyer: Go ahead.
Barney: All righty then. (Rubs his hands together. To Hank.) Give me the extractor.
Hank: But -I want to do it. You know that. I’ve been begging you…
Barney: Hank! You’re embarrassing yourself. Hand it over.
(Hank reluctantly hand him what looks like a pair of salad tongues. Cordelia, once again gagged, whimpers.)
(Stairs)
(Angel stops an Usher on the stairs.)
Angel: Convention halls? (They usher points down the stairs and he and Wesley head down. Angel turns to another employee.) We’re late. Where is the auction?
Man: I’m sorry we don’t have any auctions here.
(Angel vamps out and grabs him by his lapels.)
Angel: Where is it?
Man: It’s – it’s in the Tulip room. That way.
(Back Room)
(Hank pushes Cordelia down in a chair.)
Cordelia: No!
(Barney hits her while the lawyer watches impassively.)
Barney: Now, be a good girl and hold still. This will only hurt a lot.
(Tulip Room)
(Wesley and Angel, still in vamp-face, run into the auction room.)
Angel: The sculpture is not here.
Wesley: As usual, one step behind.
(A guy walks out from behind a curtain.)
Guy: Have you got a number?
(Back Room)
(The guy comes sailing in through the door, distracting Barney. Angel and Wesley burst in.)
Barney: Hank. Stakes.
(Angel starts to beat up on the security people there while Wesley hops on one foot trying to free the knife he taped to his leg. He falls down and a guy headed for Angel falls over him. Angel, being held by two guys while kicking the stake out of the hand of a third sees Wesley lying on the floor, still trying to get his knife.)
Angel: Get Cordelia!
(Wesley crawls over to where she is tied to the chair.)
Wesley: Are you alright? Oh. (Pulls the gag from her mouth)
Cordelia: I’m so far not!
Wesley: Right. Wrists!
Cordelia: Wesley, come on! (Wesley tries one more time to get the knife free, then picks up a claw laying on the floor and saws through the ropes with it.) Okay. Let’s get out of here.
Wesley: (runs after her) Follow me! (Barney hits Wesley with a right. Wesley fights back and actually doesn’t do too bad.) You! Butcher and innocent girl, will you? (Pushes his glasses up on his nose.) I’m going to thrash you to within a inch of your life – and then I’m going to take that inch!
(Stairs)
(The lawyer walks up the steps talking on her cell phone.)
Lawyer: Our merchandise was just taken off the market. 3 guesses by whom.
(Back Room)
(Angel is fighting the security guys, Wesley is pounding Barney against the floor. Barney rolls over and gets on top of Wesley. Cordelia picks up a horn laying on the table and stabs him in the back with it.)
Cordelia: Feel this feeling creepo! (Barney gets off Wesley. Tries to grab Cordelia but collapses face down on the floor. His body turns gray and crackles, then turns black and slowly deflates. Angel comes running up and Cordelia gives him a quick hug.) I never doubted for a minute that you’d find me.
Angel: Well, I was lucky. I had a rogue demon hunter on my side.
Wesley: Glad I could be of service.
(Angel’s Apartment)
(Cordelia sits at the kitchen table ironing her wrinkled drawing. Angel is cooking at the stove.)
Cordelia: Not that he didn’t have it coming. He was a horrible, evil monster.
Angel: Hmm, he did kill a lot of people.
Wesley: (packing his bag) Viciously mutilated their corpses.
Cordelia: (puts the picture in a frame) Plus he started the bidding on me at a paltry 2,000 dollars. (To Angel) This, I frame for saving my life, and as a reminder that something of Doyle’s in our office.
Wesley: Well, I’ll be off then. Angel. Who knows when our paths will cross again.
Angel: (shakes his hand then reaches into the fridge) Wesley.
(Wesley puts his jacket on.)
Cordelia: Do you even know where you’re headed?
Wesley: Us rogue demon hunters rarely do. Wherever evil lurks, wherever the forces of darkness threaten humanity, that’s where I’ll be.
(Angel is setting the table and pouring a glass of orange juice for Cordelia.)
Cordelia: Well, okay. Keep in touch.
Wesley: Yes. Yes, I will. (Picks up his bag) But now the evil lurking everywhere bids me onwards. (Looks back at Angel cooking and Cordy drinking her juice) So – I go.
Cordelia: Take care.
Wesley: Yes. (He slowly disappears around the corner to go up the steps. But after a moment strolls back into the room.) No rest for the wicked fighters. Through storm and rain – heat – famine (looks at Angel putting some scrambled eggs on a plate) deep, painful, gnawing hunger – I go.
Angel: (looks over at him) Breakfast?
(Wesley quickly puts down his bag and takes off his jacket.)
Wesley: Ooh – (eagerly hurries to the table) I suppose so.
Cordelia: (to Wesley) One of the perks of the job. After an all-nighter of fighting the lurking evil – we get eggs.
(Angel sets a plate of eggs down in front of Wesley.)
Angel: Toast?
Wesley: Please!
Cordelia: I’m famished. He’s a good cook for someone on a liquid diet.
Wesley: Astonishing, really. Mhm-mm. (To Angel) Did you say something about toast?
(Angel sets a plate of toasted bread on the table, and both Cordelia and Wesley grab a slice.)
Season One Guide
