Bargaining, Part 1

(Cemetery – Night)
(We see a very large (both tall and chubby) vampire running steadily between the headstones. Then we see Spike running after him. Then we see Tara running after them, and Giles behind her, carrying an axe. They come up to a fence and the vampire is gone. Spike yells in frustration.)
Spike: I'm never gonna get anything killed with you lot holding me back.
Tara: (panting) I thought the big ones were supposed to tire more easily.
Spike: No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers.
Giles: (leaning against a gravestone, panting) I'm fine. I just need to ... to die for a minute.
Spike: (to Tara) It was that powder you blew at him made him rabbit off.
Tara: It's sorbis root, it was supposed to confuse him, but ... it just kinda made him peppy. (Spike rolls his eyes.) It's not supposed to mix with anything, you think he might be taking prescription medication?
Spike: (sarcastic) Yeah, that must be it.
Giles: Good god, I hope he doesn't try to operate heavy machinery.
(Giles and Spike laugh.)
Spike: Yeah, we could all be in real-
Willow: (telepathically) Guys, heads up.
(They all look up.)

(Crypt)
(Zoom up and we see Willow standing on top of it. Zoom in on her.)
Willow: (telepathically) The vampire's circling back towards you, six o'clock.

(Fence)
(Cut back to the other three looking around for the vamp.)
Willow: (telepathically) Try to drive him back towards the Van Elton crypt.
Spike: (telepathically) Van Elton.
Tara: (aloud) Is that the one with the cute little gargoyles?
(The vampire runs back across their field of vision, sees them, turns and starts back the way he came.)
Willow: (telepathically) Left, make him go left!
(Giles throws his axe. It thuds into a tree right by the vampire's face. The vamp turns and heads left. Tara and Spike look at Giles, then they all run after the vampire. The vampire winds up at a dead-end, turns to go back. Suddenly a fist comes out and punches him in the face. He falls down. A pair of feet walk over and stand by the prone vampire's feet. He stares up at the person. Pan up to reveal Buffy.)
Buffy: Big, fast, and dumb. Just the way I like 'em.
(The vampire sits up and she kicks him in the face, thrusts out with her stake, but he grabs her arm, hits her with his other arm, and gets up. Tara and Giles appear, grab the vamp's arms and hold him while Spike punches him in the face twice. Then Spike moves for another punch but the vampire head-butts Spike and he staggers back.)

(Elsewhere)
(Cut to Xander and Anya running through another part of the graveyard.)
Xander: Sounds like the other units are engaged.
Willow: (telepathically) Xander, Anya, stop!
(Xander and Anya stop running, look startled.)
Xander: Great googly-moogly, Willow, would you quit doing that?
Willow: (telepathically) I told you I was going to get the lay of the land.
Xander: But not the lay of my brain.
Anya: It's kind of intrusive. You could knock first or something.
Willow: (telepathically) Xander-
Xander: I know, I know, I don't have to talk when I answer you. But I saw "The Fury," and that way lies spooky carnival death.
(We see a vampire hiding behind a tombstone a few feet away from Xander and Anya.)
Willow: (telepathically) Xander! Vampire! Other side of that tomb. You can get the jump on him if you go the other way.
Xander: Why didn't you just say so?
(Xander and Anya head around the side of the tomb.)

(Tomb)
(Cut back to the other battle. The big vampire throws both Tara and Giles off him. Buffy runs at him, tries to punch but he blocks, picks her up over his shoulders, swings her around so that her feet kick Spike in the face. Then he throws her toward Tara.)
Willow: (telepathically) Tara, down!
(Tara ducks and Buffy goes flying over her, lands against a wall. Giles grabs the axe, gets up and swings at the vampire, who grabs it and spins Giles around, pins him against the iron fence with the axe handle on his throat.)
Giles: (choking) Spike!
(Spike jumps on the vamp's back but he's so big he barely notices. He shrugs Spike off a couple of times. Spike steps back, sighs.)
Giles: Spike!
Willow: (telepathically) What are you doing? Help him!
Spike: (lighting a cigarette) I did.
(We see that the back of the vampire's shirt is on fire. The fire spreads up to the rest of his shirt. He lets go of Giles and staggers back, bursts completely into flame and dusts. Giles puts his arm over his face as the dust showers over him. Spike takes a drag on his cigarette, saunters over to Giles and holds out his hand. Giles takes it and Spike helps him up.)
Giles: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?
Willow: (telepathically) Guys, help Xander and Anya over by the Anderson tomb.
(They head off.)

(Anderson Tomb)
(Cut to Xander being held in a headlock by the other vampire.)
Anya: Xander!
(Anya lunges with a stake but the vamp merely steps aside. She swings again, misses. The vamp hits her and she falls down. The vampire continues growling and struggling with Xander.)
Buffy: I got it!
(Buffy kicks the vampire, and he goes down, letting go of Xander who lands on the grass beside Anya. The vamp gets up, blocks a kick, punches Buffy, they exchange a few more punches and kicks. He gets her on the ground, picks her up over his head, and Spike comes in and punches him in the stomach. The vampire drops Buffy, and Spike kicks him. He shoves Spike away, and Spike lands beside Xander and Anya. Buffy kicks the vamp onto the ground, then stakes him as he starts to sit up.)
Buffy: (triumphantly) That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
(Shot of the entire gang (Spike, Tara, Xander, Anya, Willow, Giles) staring at her as they help each other up. She smiles and walks over to them.)
Spike: (to Willow) What's with the Dadaism, Red?
Tara: Yeah, she says that pie thing every time she stakes a vamp now.
Willow: I-I don't know, I was trying to program in some new puns and I kinda ended up with word salad.
BuffyBot: (brightly) I think it's funny.
(They all roll their eyes and start walking.)
Willow: It's a glitch, I'll fix it.
Giles: We just can't have her messing up in front of the wrong person. Or the wrong thing. We, we need the, the world and the underworld to believe that Buffy is alive and well.
Willow: And I will therefore fix it. I got her head back on, didn't I? And I got her off those knock-knock jokes.
BuffyBot: Ooh, who's there?
Xander: You know, if we want her to be exactly-
Spike: She'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
(They all walk on, leaving the Buffy Bot behind as she has stopped walking.)
BuffyBot: 'If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
(She continues walking after them.)

(Summers Residence – Day)
(Willow is in Joyce's old room, which is now Tara and Willow’s room, crouched on the floor looking under the bed.)
Willow: Where's my clog? I think there's a clog-eating monster under the bed. (gets up) It's really those lesser-known monsters that make living in Sunnydale so hard.
(We see Tara looking in the closet. She turns to watch Willow. Willow goes around to look under the other side of the bed.)
Tara: I believe that that is a Dawn monster. She borrowed them yesterday.
Willow: Dawnie? (knocks on Dawn's door, which is ajar) Hey, you up?
(Dawn's bed is piled with clothes but she's not there. Willow turns away with a sigh.)
Tara: You okay? (They walk out into the hall)
Willow: (nods) Besides terror about today and a general feeling of impending doom, swell.
Tara: Breakfast will make all things better.
(They stop walking and Tara puts hands on Willow's shoulders.)
Willow: (smiles, takes Tara's hands) Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies. (They kiss, then Tara goes back down the hall and Willow knock on the bathroom door, which is also ajar.) Dawnie? (The door swings open more and we see Dawn brushing her teeth.) Hey, you! Today's the big day, huh? Kinda day that makes you wanna return clogs, don't you think?
Dawn: (very garbled through her toothbrush) I didn't take your clogs.
(Willow sighs, rolls her eyes, turns away.)

(Kitchen)
(BuffyBot is making peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches. Tara is in the background by the stove. Willow enters.)
Willow: Morning.
BuffyBot: (cheery) Morning!
Willow: I was thinking we could go over your programming again.
Tara: Again? You've done enough, sweetie. She's either ready to face this thing or she's not. (Dawn enters, sits at the counter with a small smile.) Oh, um, here's some juice, and... (gives Dawn a glass of orange juice) pancakes are on the way. Funny shapes or rounds?
Dawn: Rounds are fine. Uh, what's up with the mega-witches?
Tara: Oh, I don't know if you can call us mega, Willow maybe-
Dawn: No, I mean ... who's gonna eat all that?
(We see that BuffyBot has made a huge pile of sandwiches. Actually, several huge piles. Tara grabs the bot's hands.)
Tara: Oh! Oops, um ... she wanted to help, and I got her started, but then I forgot to un-start.
(The bot nods understanding. Xander enters.)
Xander: House of chicks, relax. I am a man, and I have a tool. (They all look at him. He holds up his toolbox.) Tools. Lots of plural tools. (Dawn grins) In my, uh ... (pats toolbox) toolbox. (sees the sandwiches) Ah! Sandwiches. Excellent. Men like sandwiches.
(BuffyBot smiles and gives him a stack of sandwiches.)
Willow: Help yourself. Really. (Xander eating a sandwich) So what brings you so early, your macho-ness?
Xander: I brought that soldering wire you wanted for BuffyBot's tune-up.
Tara: (serving pancakes to Dawn) You got funny shapes anyway, sorry.
(The phone rings. BuffyBot looks excited.)
BuffyBot: I'll get it!
Willow/ Tara/ Dawn: No! (all move to intercept her)
Dawn: Um ... it could be my dad. (to Willow) He said he'd call today.
BuffyBot: I'll just say hello. He's my biological ancestor.
Willow: (into phone) Hello? Hey, Anya. (The bot looks disappointed, goes back over toward Xander.) Really? That's fantastic! (to others) Uh, Anya found that thing, for tonight.
Xander: (looks nervously at BuffyBot) Yeah? Great.
Willow: (listens) And you're her sweet cookie-face.
Xander: I go by many names.
(The bot looks at him in confusion.)
Dawn: Well, what's tonight?
Tara: Oh, just a Scooby meeting. Spike'll be here with you.
Willow: You know, Buffy ... bot ... maybe you should let the machine - uh, the other machine, answer the phone from now on. Okay?
BuffyBot: Is my phone manner not correct?
Tara: It's perfect. It's just ... we can't take the chance that Mr. Summers might talk to you and know something's wrong.
Xander: See, if he thought the real Buffy was gone, he could take Dawn away.
Dawn: And I wanna stay here, with you and Willow and Tara. Understand?
BuffyBot: (big smile) I do! I want you to stay here as well. You're my sister!
(The bot goes around the counter and hugs Dawn, a little too hard. Dawn looks surprised, but pleased. Xander and Tara watch with concern. Willow looks uncomfortable.)
Xander: So. Excellent. We're agreed. Sit your robo-self down so we can get to work. (The bot sits next to Dawn) We gotta fix up those fighting skills pronto.
Willow: Actually, we have bigger worries than her fighting skills today.
Tara: Way bigger.
Xander: I guess. Depends on how highly you prize punning.
Willow: I'm serious, Xander. Buffybot is about to face her most dangerous challenge ever.

(Sunnydale Jr. High)
(A big sign reads, "Welcome to Parent Teacher Day." Various tables are set up with displays, people walking around. Dawn and BuffyBot walk among the crowd. BuffyBot looks around at everything with great interest. Dawn just looks nervous.)
Dawn: Okay. So we'll make a quick lap so people can see you're here. (The bot stops to look at a display. It's a table-top model of a city, made with paper cups and cardboard and such.) Then we'll-
BuffyBot: What is this?
(We see a young male teacher sitting behind the display. He looks up.)
Dawn: Oh, um, this is our city of the future. (We see a boy Dawn's age on the other side, listening in) I made the hover-cars. They're orange-juice cans, see?
BuffyBot: They're very nice. (frowns) But I-I still don't understand.
Teacher: We're reading Walden. This is, uh ... a kid's version of a utopian society. You'll notice there are no schools but an extraordinary number of pizza parlors. (Dawn grins)
BuffyBot: I don't think I know of a breed of humans this small. Who's going to live here?
(The boy gives Dawn and BuffyBot a scornful look. Dawn gives a fake laugh. The teacher looks uncertain, but he laughs too.)
Dawn: Ha ha ha! Oh ... god, she's always like this. Ha ha! Come on, wacky Buffy. (takes the bot's arm) See ya, Mr. Davis.
(The teacher watches them go with some confusion. Sound of a school bell ringing.)

(Classroom)
(A bunch of parents and kids sit in chairs while a woman stands at the front talking to them.)
Ms. Lefcort: As you can see, we've provided the best in progressive learning. But we can't teach your children unless you do. As parents, you have a responsibility to create the right attitude. To teach your child what school can mean. (BuffyBot raises her hand.) Ms. Summers.
(The bot stands up. Dawn looks very nervous.)
BuffyBot: School is where you learn.
(Beat. Dawn continues looking anxious.)
Ms. Lefcort: Exactly. (Dawn is very relieved. BuffyBot sits.) Parents let kids focus on school as a social experience rather than a learning experience. We want you to get your kids just as excited about education as they are about the lunch hour.
BuffyBot: I helped make lunch today.
Ms. Lefcort: (uncertain) Oh.
BuffyBot: (cheery) Yes, before school. Peanut butter and jelly. I don't eat, but Dawn takes one every day.
(A father in the back row speaks up.)
Dad: Tell me about it. (Everyone turns to look at him.) My kid's been brown-bagging it even though I pay for the lunch program.
(A mother on the other side joins in.)
Mom: It's true. Something has to be done about the quality of the food.
(All the people in the room murmur and chatter in agreement. BuffyBot smiles happily. Dawn looks at her and can't help smiling a little too.)

(The Magic Box)
(Xander carries a large box into the back office area. Anya is dusting merchandise while Giles sits in the background doing paperwork.)
Giles: Anya, this register report for January looks a bit off. (Anya turns to him.) Pull the files again.
(Anya puts down her duster and walks quickly over to him, frowning anxiously.)
Anya: Are you mad at me?
Giles: (confused) Mad? No, I'm-I'm-
Anya: Well then why are you torturing me? You know, I used to punish people like this when I was a demon. (Giles rolls his eyes.) I made them double-check spreadsheets for all eternity.
Giles: I'm sorry if you resent my authority, but I won't feel comfortable leaving here until I know that absolutely everything-
Anya: (grabs a small statue from the desk) You're taking the Ramadan effigy?!
Giles: (rolls his eyes again) It's not inventory, it's my personal collection. (takes the statue)
Anya: (indignant) Oh, huh. Aren't you Mister Dicey Semantics. So, what, you think you can just take anything you want? (She grabs the statue back from Giles. He looks angry, tries to grab it back, and they both pull at it.) Give it!
Giles: No, you give it! (Anya begins smacking his hand with her free hand.) Ow! Ow! (He tries to fend off her smacking hand with his other hand. In the other room, Xander hears them fighting and comes to look.) Ow!
Xander: Okay, when *I'm* marveling at the immaturity ... (they pause and look at him) be scared. (They stop fighting but both still hold the statue.) Anya, Giles is gonna leave the store to you when he goes. What more do you want?
Giles: I'm not *leaving* the store to anyone. I'm going to England. I'm not dead, I'm still a partner. (yanks the statue away from Anya)
Anya: (sullen) Silent oversees partner.
Xander: Who you should be very nice to, unless you want to end up working at Video Hut. (Giles gives Anya a tentative smile. She gives him a big fake smile and turns away. As soon as her back is to Giles she drops the smile and scowls, walking to the other room. Xander follows, grabs her arm.) What are you doing? What kind of gratitude is that?
Anya: (quietly) I know, I know. It's just ... he keeps saying he's going, and then he doesn't. And I keep almost being in charge, but then I'm not. And maybe he shouldn't be going at all, but we can't talk about that. (agitated) And it all just leaves me with this stress and bossiness stored up, and it just ... leaks out.
Xander: Just give it time, Ahn. This is hard for all of us. Just ... be patient.
Anya: I *was* being patient, but it took too long. I mean, I-I miss Buffy. I do. But life shouldn't just stop because she's gone. I'm sick of waiting to take over here, and I'm sick of waiting to tell everyone about us.
(Xander looks nervously over his shoulder, lowers his voice.)
Xander: We've talked about this. We can't announce our engagement while things are so up in the air.
Anya: Why not? It's happy news. Happy news in hard times is a good thing.
Xander: It is, but ... if things go as planned, everything could be different. (Anya sighs) Let's just hold on.
Anya: You've been saying that all summer.
Xander: Please, Anya. We'll know more after we talk to Willow and Tara tonight.
Anya: Fine, whatever. Just remember that this whole marriage thing was your stupid idea. I didn't ask to be all crazy.
(She walks off. Xander watches her go.)

(Summers Residence – Night)
(Dawn comes out of the kitchen holding a cup and walks down the hall.)
Dawn: So my homeroom teacher, Ms. Lefcort, was like, "Your sister's an example to us all." Hmm! She wanted to make it National Buffy Day.
(She puts the glass on the coffee-table and sits on the sofa next to Spike. There's a pizza box on the coffee-table, and a plate with a half-eaten slice of pizza.)
Spike: Makes sense.
Dawn: It does?
Spike: Yeah, she responded to BuffyBot because a robot is predictable. Boring. Perfect teacher's pet. That's all schools are, you know. Just factories, spewing out mindless little automatons. (He sees Dawn's raised eyebrows.) Who go on to be ... very ... valuable and productive members of society, and you should go. (quieter) Because Buffy would want you to.
(Beat. They both look pensive.)
Dawn: Check. One mindless automaton coming up.
(They sit quietly on the sofa for a moment.)
Spike: So, uh, what do you fancy, bit, uh, game of rummy? (gets up)
Dawn: Well, uh, Willow and Tara said they'd be back early. (Spike goes to a side table, opens a drawer) You don't really have to hang. I mean, if you're bored.
Spike: I'm not, and yeah, I do.
(Spike gets a pack of cards out of the drawer, pulls a chair over to the coffee table opposite Dawn.)
Dawn: But I'm fine alone. It's not like anyone's coming after me. I'm not the key. (Spike sets the chair down) Or if I am, I don't open anything any more. It's over. Remember?
Spike: (softly) I'm not leaving you here by yourself, so forget it.
(He sits in the chair.)
Dawn: Well, I'm just saying-
(Spike slams the cards down hard on the table. Dawn jumps.)
Spike: (not looking at her) No. I'm not leaving you ... to get hurt. (softly) Not again. (They look at each other. Spike points to the cards.) Now deal.
(Dawn picks up the cards.)

(Street)
(A young woman closes up a shop and turns to walk down the street, putting keys in her purse. It's dark and very quiet. She pauses, looks behind her, walks on. She pauses again, looks back again, resumes walking very quickly. She enters an alley and a vampire grabs her from behind. She screams. The vampire pulls her back against him and prepares to bite.)
BuffyBot: (OS) Don't be scared. (The vampire looks up in surprise.) I'm going to kill him.
Vampire: Slayer!
BuffyBot: You can run away now. (The girl does just that. The vamp tries to edge away too. Buffybot rolls her eyes.) Not you!
(She runs after him. He pushes a Dumpster into her path. She vaults over it and lands on top of him, knocking him down. They both get up and she brings him down again with a circle-kick. He gets up and she punches him, kicks him down again. He crawls toward an empty glass bottle, grabs it and hits BuffyBot in the face with it. She stumbles back and the vamp gets up. The broken glass has torn a hole in the bot's forehead and we can see sparks flying around it.)
Vampire: You're ... you're ... you're, you're a machine!
BuffyBot: (smiles) Thank you! (He scrambles to his feet and begins backing away.) Stop! (She walks forward, directly into a stack of large kegs. She backs up a few steps and walks into them again. The vamp watches, begins to smile. She continues walking into the kegs again and again.) Vampires ... beware.
(Grinning, the vamp turns and runs off. The bot continues walking into the kegs.)

(Xander’s Apartment)
(Willow is holding a small urn and gazing at it. Tara sits beside her.)
Tara: The urn of Osiris.
Willow: (looks up) You really found it.
Anya: (sits opposite Willow) Yeah. It wasn't easy. I went through every supplier the Magic Box has.
Willow: (alarmed) You used a Magic Box supplier? What if Giles finds out?
Anya: He's too busy not leaving to pay attention to me. (We see Xander standing beside Anya) Besides, I ended up getting it on eBay.
Tara: You found the last known urn of Osiris on eBay?
Anya: Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited edition Backstreet Boys lunchbox for a - (Xander coughs. Anya pauses. Xander looks nervous.) ...a friend.
(Tara looks at Xander with a little smile.)
Xander: So you got your somber on, Will, is the urn not up to spec?
(Willow studies the urn with a frown, doesn't seem to have heard. She looks at Tara.)
Willow: It's the one. (puts it down) Which means it's time.
Xander: (anxious) It's time? (sits) Like, *time* time? With the... (vague hand gestures) timeliness?
Anya: (quietly) Are you sure?
Willow: I am.
Tara: Mercury's in retrograde, and we have... (to Willow) Do we have everything?
Willow: (nods) Just about.
(Willow gets up, goes over to another table and begins putting things in a bag.)
Xander: But why the sudden rushy-rush? I mean, did the bot blow our cover at school?
Tara: No, she did great, she impressed all the teachers.
Xander: And they still thought it was Buffy?
Willow: (turns back to them) Tomorrow night, we'll meet back here.
Xander: (jumps up) Whoa! Let's apply the brakes and check the rear- and side-view mirrors here. (They all look at him.) This is deep stuff, Willow. We're talking about raising the dead.
Willow: It's time we stop talking. Tomorrow night ... we're bringing Buffy back.
Xander: (nervous) Tomorrow? I don't know.
Anya: (gets up to stand beside him) Um, Di-Discovery Channel has monkeys. And our tape machine's all wonky.
Willow: Guys, I need you on board here.
Xander: It's just ... (fidgets nervously) It feels wrong.
Tara: It is wrong. (Willow looks surprised.) It's against all the laws of nature, and practically impossible to do, but it's what we agreed to. If-if you guys are changing your minds-
Willow: Nobody's changing their minds. Period.
Xander: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?
Anya: You did.
Tara: You said Willow should be boss.
(Willow moves away.)
Anya: And then you said "let's vote," and it was unanimous...
Tara:...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us," you put little sparkles on it...
Xander: Valid points, all. But we ... I mean... (He comes out from behind the coffee-table, goes over to Willow who is again at the other table putting stuff in a bag.) We were just talking then.
Willow: Xander, I can do this, I promise. But not without you.
Anya: Should we maybe tell Giles? You know, now that we're really ready? It's not like he's going anywhere. Ever.
Willow: No. No one else can know. Not Giles, not Spike, not Dawn. (quietly) They might not understand.
Tara: What if something does go wrong?
Willow: I'm telling you it won't.
Xander: Scenario -- We raise Buffy from the grave, she tries to eat our brains. Do we, a) congratulate ourselves on a job well done-
Willow: Xander, this isn't zombies.
Anya: Zombies don't eat brains anyway unless instructed to by their zombie masters. A lot of people get that wrong.
Willow: This isn't like Dawn trying to bring Mrs. Summers back, or anything we've dealt with before. Buffy didn't die a natural death. She was killed by mystical energy.
Tara: Which means we do have a shot.
Willow: It means more than that. (to Xander) It means we don't know ... where she really is.
Xander: We saw her body, Will. We buried it.
Willow: Her body, yeah. But her soul ... her essence ... I mean, that could be somewhere else. She could be trapped, in-in some sort of hell dimension like Angel was. (tearfully) Suffering eternal torment, just because she saved us, and I'm not gonna let ... I'm not gonna leave her there. (intensely) It's Buffy.
(Xander looks at her for a long moment.)
Xander: What time do we meet?

(Summers Residence)
(Willow enters. She sees Spike and the BuffyBot in the living room.)
BuffyBot: (shouts) Willow!
(The bot walks toward Willow, knocking over a side table with a vase on it. Spike catches the vase. Willow comes into the room as the bot walks into a wall.)
Willow: What happened, where's Dawn?
(Willow grabs the bot and pulls her away from the wall, giving Spike a questioning look.)
Spike: Upstairs, in bed. But the bot here seems to have got into a scrape while she was on patrol.
(Willow positions the bot in front of her and looks at the cut on her forehead.)
BuffyBot: I think my feet are broken.
Willow: Eh, looks more like a short in the navigational system. (She steers the bot over to the sofa and sits her down while talking to Spike.) Can you get me a flashlight? It's in the, uh, kitchen.
Spike: (heads for the kitchen) She wanted to go out and look for you again, but I figured there are enough things in Sunnydale that go bump in the night. (exits)
Willow: (sits facing the bot) Good thinking.
BuffyBot: But my homing device locates you when I am injured. I am programmed to go to you.
Willow: (nods) Right, I know. Still, I think just this once, it was a good idea to stay put. (She lifts the bot's shirt and peels back the skin over her stomach, revealing various wires and circuitry.) Spike was right. (pokes at the bot's innards)
(The bot looks up and smiles at Spike as he comes back in with the flashlight.)
BuffyBot: Sorry I questioned you, Spike. (Spike looks surprised) You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs. (big smile)
(Spike looks pained.)
Spike: (quietly to Willow) I told you to make her stop doing that.
Willow: I did. I mean, I thought I got all that stuff out of the program.
(We see that Willow has the bot hooked up to a laptop computer.)
Spike: Well, you've got her opened up, fix it.
Willow: (typing) Sure. I mean, I have a lot of work here, but I'll see what I can do. (Focus on the bot's face watching with interest as Spike crosses into the frame and off to the left. Willow doesn't see him moving.) Can you shine the flashlight right here? (She turns but Spike is gone.) Spike!
(We see Spike opening the front door. He grabs his coat and leaves.)
BuffyBot: Did I say something wrong?
Willow: (typing) No, it's not your fault.
BuffyBot: (pensive) I think Spike stopped liking me.
Willow: That's not true, he-he thinks you're swell.
BuffyBot: Then how come he never looks at me any more? Even when he's talking to me.
(Beat. The bot seems anxious for Willow to explain.)
Willow: (nervous) He just gets cranky, the way vampires do. Now, just relax. I am gonna make you good as new. (The bot continues to stare at Willow with a small frown. Willow continues typing.) I promise.

(Time Lapse)
(Willow and Tara are asleep in their bed. Dawn, on the other hand is wide awake in her room, staring at the ceiling. After a moment, Dawn gets up.)

(Hallway)
(Dawn walks down the hall, pushing open the door to Buffy's room. The bot lies on Buffy's bed, eyes open, with some wires coming out of her body and some equipment blinking and beeping steadily. Dawn walks farther into the room. Pan across what looks like a battery or electric generator on the floor at the foot of the bed. Wires extend out of it and into the bot's stomach. She lies on her back with her shirt pushed up. Her eyes are open. Dawn goes over and lies down on the bed beside the BuffyBot, cuddling up against her. The bot doesn't move, just lies there. Dawn closes her eyes.)

(The Magic Box – Day)
(Buffybot and Giles are the workout room, practicing. He has padded targets on both hands and she punches them in a rapid sequence.)
Giles: That was splendid. (she stops hitting) Now ... try it again ... (panting) only this time, remember your breathing. (The bot looks confused for a moment, then takes a deep breath and blows it out through her lips in one long breath as she hits the targets again and again.) No, uh, that's good, but, uh ... (We see Anya come in and stop in the doorway, watching) ...think of the breath as chi. Air as a, a life source.
BuffyBot: I don't require oxygen to live.
Giles: Of course, strictly speaking, but-
Anya: Um ... (walks into the room) Maybe you should stick to the standard drill. You know, you don't want her to blow another gasket.
Giles: I'm testing her responses after her injury. I see no harm in imparting a little Eastern philosophy.
Anya: Well, I just think that, the concept of chi might be a little, you know, hard for her to grasp. (Giles drops his arms, in exasperation, then puts hands on hips.) You know, she's not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors. She's the descendant of a toaster oven.
Giles: Yes, well, I appreciate your input, Anya, but I think Buffybot has responded nicely to our sessions.
(Buffybot smiles happily. Giles lifts his hands and she prepares to resume.)
Anya: Well, you're the boss. (to herself) Still.
(Anya turns and walks out. Giles drops his hands again, annoyed.)
BuffyBot: Would you like to test me again?
Giles: No, perhaps we should call it a day. Your ... your responses are fine. (He takes off the targets, puts them down, picks up a bottle of water. The bot stands in place and watches him. Giles turns back and sees her looking at him.) Perhaps Anya's right. Perhaps I am trying to teach you as if you were...
BuffyBot: Human?
Giles: (uncomfortable) Yes.
BuffyBot: I like your teachings. Every Slayer needs her Watcher.
Giles: I'm not so sure about that.
BuffyBot: (frowns) What do you mean?
Giles: Nothing. (He wipes his face with a towel, looks at the bot again, sighs.) I just can't help but wonder if ... she would have been better off without me. Buffy.
BuffyBot: I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her.
Giles: (laughs) Right. Yes, I was a perfect Watcher. I did what any good Watcher would do. Got my Slayer killed in the line of duty.
BuffyBot: Oh, that wasn't your fault.
Giles: Of course not. That's how all Slayer/Watcher relationships end, isn't it? (He puts his glasses on, turns to face the bot again, calmer now.) She's gone. I did my job.
BuffyBot: (frowns innocently) Well, then why are you still here?
(Giles looks at her sadly.)

(Road)
(Some demons are on motorcycles. They drive up to a bar with a lot of other motorcycles parked outside. Loud rock music.)

(Bar)
(Many large, muscular, leather-clad demons are walking around, drinking beer, etc. Several of them wear leather jackets with the word "Hellion" on the back. There are also some humans. Pan across to the bar.)
Vampire: So I got her cornered in this alley, see...
(We see the vamp who injured the BuffyBot. He sits at the bar talking to one of the leather demons (Mag).)
Mag: (skeptical) You get the Slayer cornered.
Vampire: Yeah. I figured it's my duty. She's a menace to our society. So we fight, and I'm like, pow pow pow! (makes punching gestures) And I got her on the ropes.
(Mag turns and grabs him by the throat, growling.)
Mag: You're lying to me.
Vampire: (high, choked voice) I swear on all that's unholy! You haven't even heard the best part. I cut her, right? And she's -- I don't know, some kind of machine. She's not human!
(Mag looks into his eyes for a moment, lets him go.)
Mag: You're high.
Vampire: I'm tellin' you, it wasn't even the Slayer, man. It was like a trick. (Mag looks at him) A robot.
(The vamp starts to drink his beer, but Mag grabs him again and hustles him across the room. He pushes through the crowd of demons to where the head demon, Razor, is sitting in a booth, surrounded by his cronies. Razor is very large and ugly.)
Razor: What's with the blood rat?
Mag: (to the vampire) Talk!
Vampire: (nervous) Okay, uh, so, I was over in Sunnydale, minding my own beeswax, when I see the Slayer-
Mag: (shakes him) The part about the robot.
Vampire: We fought, right? And I was like all over her, (punching gestures) boom boom boom....
Mag: He says the Slayer's been replaced by some kind of machine.
(The vamp stops making punch noises. Razor looks interested.)
Vampire: A robot, yeah! And I kicked her synthetic ass. You shoulda seen the sparks-
(Razor gets up, towers over the vamp.)
Razor: You tellin' me there's no Slayer in Sunnydale?
(Longer shot of them from across the room, other demons watching.)
Vampire: That's what I'm saying, they got some kind of decoy standing in for her. (false bravado) Town is wide open.
Mag: Nowhere like the Hellmouth for a party. There's all kinds of bad in that place.
(Razor nods thoughtfully. He and his cronies all laugh. The vamp laughs too, pats Razor on the chest.)
Vampire: I guess with your muscle, uh, you could own it in no time. (nervous chuckle) Hey look, I know you guys don't usually let vampires join the gang, and I got the whole (air quotes) sunlight issue. But I was thinking, you know, as thanks for the 4-1-1, you could let me go-
(Razor grabs him by the neck. Shot of the vamp's headless body hitting the floor and dusting. Razor brushes dust off his hands.)
Razor: I'll think it over. (He looks around. All his demon buddies are watching.) Let's ride!
(They all cheer and turn to go.)

(Outside)
(Cut to the demons getting on their bikes and riding off in a cloud of dust.)

(Sunnydale – The Forest)
(Open on a peaceful pond surrounded by grass and trees. It's a bright sunny day. Soft meditative music.)
Willow: Adonai, Helomi, Pine. (Pan across to discover Willow kneeling on a blanket on the grass. She pours something from a small pot onto the ground.) Adonai, Helomi, Pine. The gods do command thee from thy majesty. (puts the lid on the jar, puts it down) O Mappa Laman, Adonai, Helomi. Come forward, blessed one. Know your calling. (She looks around. A young deer comes around a tree and toward her.) Come forward, blessed one.
(The fawn walks over to her. Willow pets it gently, puts her arm around its back. Shot of a large knife lying on the blanket. Willow's hand grabs it and thrusts. Intercut shots of the fawn's legs struggling with shots of Willow's distressed face. After a moment the struggling stops. We don't see the dead fawn but we see the blood all over Willow's hands. She looks ready to cry.)
Willow: (panting) Accept our humble gratitude for your offering. (puts knife down) In death ... you give life. (voice breaking) May you find wings to the kingdom.
(She looks around, breathing raggedly.)

(The Magic Box)
(Xander and Tara sit at the round table reading. The door jingles as Willow enters, wearing different clothing. Anya appears from the side.)
Tara: Hey. You're late.
Willow: Oh. (too casual) I, uh, had to get that thing.
(Willow goes to the counter, holding a small leather bag.)
Xander: Giles isn't around, you can dump the cryptic.
Willow: (nervous) The last spell ingredient.
Xander: Okay, right. What is vino de madre anyway?
Willow: (walks over to them) Wine of the mother. Kind of ... black market stuff.
Tara: Black market, you-you didn't tell me that. You shouldn't have gone alone, it could have been dangerous.
Willow: Sorry. I didn't ... I was careful.
Anya: Well, it must be something pretty intense. The black market's all baby teeth and spooky fluids. (moves toward counter)
Willow: (moves toward bookshelves) All I know is we have to have it to finish the spell, so, it's good stuff in my book. (takes a book from the shelf, returns to sit at the table) How come you guys are here anyway? I thought we weren't gonna meet till later.
Xander: Oh, we were. It just felt weird hanging out on our own.
Tara: It's better if we stay together.
Willow: (takes Tara's hand) Aw, you got butterflies, baby?
Tara: More like bats.
Anya: Y-you wanna look at the money? I find it always calms me.
(Xander smiles fondly.)
Tara: That's okay, thanks.
Willow: You tell those bats that everything is gonna be all right. I promise. We couldn't be more prepared.
Tara: I know, I just wish it was time, I- (We see Anya behind the counter picking up a piece of paper, reading it with a frown, coming out from behind the counter.) I can't stand worrying about it anymore.
Anya: Um ... well, it's your lucky day then. I have something that will distract you.
(Everyone looks up. Anya gives the paper to Xander.)
Willow: What?
Xander: (reads) "I've gone. Not one for long good-byes." (Shot of Willow and Tara looking dismayed.) "I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles."

(Airport)
(Giles sits in the terminal, reading a book, with a small bag on the floor beside him. He stops reading, looks off into space.)
Willow: (os) You really think we'd let you get away with that?
(The gang, plus Dawn, walks up to him.)
Giles: (smiles) I was trying to avoid a scene, really.
(We see that Dawn is holding a greeting card. Willow produces a large sign with the words "BON VOYAGE GILES!" inside a heart, with balloons attached to the corners.)
Willow: Like we'd make a scene.
Giles: (quietly) Not you. Me.
(They all look like they don't know what to say. Anya steps forward.)
Anya: Um, we, uh, brought you some lovely parting gifts. (holds something out) It's American. Get it? Apple pie? (It's a packaged snack pie such as you might get at McDonald's. Giles takes it with a smile.) To remind you of all the good food you won't be eating.
Tara: A-and a monster, sort of a Sunnydale souvenir we thought. (Tara has a small rubber monster attached to her finger. Basically a thimble with arms and a scary face. She bounces it up and down.) Grr! Argh!
Giles: (smiles) Thank you.
(Giles takes the monster.)
Xander: And I wanted to buy you a can of Old English 800, 'cause, you know, England, and you, and ... because at the time it sounded really funny. But the guy who lives in the box in front of the store, he, uh, wouldn't buy it for us.
(Xander smiles nervously. Dawn steps forward.)
Dawn: We got your presents at the gas station. (sits beside Giles) We were kind of in a hurry. (Giles continues smiling nervously. Dawn looks uncertain, then hands him the card.) Um, we made this in the car. That's why the letters are all shaky.
(They all look on anxiously as Giles opens the card and reads it.)
Giles: (touched) This is, uh ... impossible, really.
Willow: We just wanted you to know that ... we'll miss you. Uh, but we'll be okay. (softly) We'll miss you, but, (very softly) we'll be okay.
Anya: I'll take really good care of your money.
Giles: (laughs) Yes, I have no doubt.
P.A. Announcer: ...passengers, Flight 3982, leaving for Los Angeles, and continuing to London. Rows 20 through 30...
(Giles gets up, gathers his stuff.)
Giles: That's me.
Willow: Now? We just made it.
Giles: Just, yes. (They all look at each other.) Well, if we're going to do this, let's do it properly. (He puts down his bag, goes over to Xander. They hold out hands toward each other, look awkward for a moment, then hug. Giles turns away from Xander, and Anya grabs Giles tightly. He hugs her back. Then he hugs Tara, then Dawn.) I'm just a phone call away ... if you need anything. (holds Dawn's face in his hands) You must promise me.
Dawn: I do. I promise.
(Giles turns to Willow. She smiles nervously.)
Giles: Willow. I don't know where to start. (they hug)
Willow: (tearful) Well, maybe you shouldn't. (lets him go) I'm trying to be stiff-upper-lippy.
Giles: Right, right. (removes his glasses)
Willow: Well, you should get going. (taps him on the shoulder) Don't you have a life or something?
Giles: (replaces glasses) Um, well, I suppose that's the question really. (Tara puts her arm around Willow as Giles gathers his stuff up again.) Just, uh ... be careful. Please.
(He gives them a last look, turns toward the gate.)
(Pan across the Scoobies standing in a row watching him go. Giles gives his ticket to the flight attendant and goes through the door.)

(Sidewalk in front of Airport)
(We see a plane flying overhead.)
Willow: (OS) There he goes.
(We see the Scoobies standing on the sidewalk looking up. Willow still holds the big sign. Tara and Dawn have their arms linked.)
Xander: It's a good thing. My face was getting sore from all that faux smiling.
Willow: It was right, though, wasn't it? Giving him the no-tears sendoff? I mean, we don't want him goin' off all worried about us.
Anya: He'd still be all worried, just ... eight hours ahead.
Willow: What's he gonna do over there by himself? (they all start walking) I mean, he never talks about people from England. What if he's lonely?
Tara: He won't be lonely. He used to live there before, remember?
Dawn: And I'm sure we'll talk to him, right? It's not like he's-
Tara: We'll call him tomorrow, how 'bout that? (puts arm around Dawn's shoulder) See how his flight was? Yeah?
(Tara and Dawn walk on ahead as the other three pause.)
Xander: (to Willow) Can you believe the timing? I mean, he's leaving right when we're ready to... (Willow glances nervously toward Dawn) ...do the thing tonight.
Willow: (still looking at the sky) I know, I had hoped we'd figure it out before he, uh ... before he left.
Anya: Maybe we should have told him. I mean, what if it works?
Willow: (still looking at the sky) He'll come back.
(Beat. Xander fidgets.)
Xander: It'll be dark soon.
Willow: Yeah, we should get Dawn home. I want to go over everything one more time. Nothing can go wrong tonight.
(She walks on. Xander and Anya follow.)

(Hill – Edge of Sunnydale – Sunset)
(The demons on motorcycles come roaring around a bend and down the road. They go past a sign reading "Welcome to Sunnydale" as we see the town spread out below.)

(Cemetery – Night)
(Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya are standing in a semicircle beside Buffy's grave. Willow is directly at the foot of the grave. Xander and Tara hold lit candles.)
Willow: Does everybody have their candles?
Anya: I'm trying, my lighter won't stay lit. (flicking lighter continuously)
Willow: Well, hurry, it has to-
Tara: What time is it?
Xander: (checks watch) A minute till midnight.
Willow: C'mon, Anya, do you have it?
Anya: (gets the lighter lit, lights her candle) I got it, I got it. I got it.
Willow: Okay. Start the circle. Now.
(They all kneel, holding their candles, except Willow who holds the Urn of Osiris. Lingering shot of the headstone. Willow produces a small jar containing (presumably) the fawn's blood, and pours it into the urn. Tara and Xander look nervous.)
Willow: Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us. (She dips her finger into the urn and marks her forehead and both cheeks with the blood.) Before time, and after. Before knowing and nothing. (She pours the contents of the urn onto the earth.) Accept our offering. Know our prayer.
(Suddenly she jerks backward, panting, and her arms go out at her sides. Deep ugly gashes appear on her arms.)
Xander: Willow! (reaches for her)
Tara: No! (stuttering) She t - she told me ... she'd be tested. This is supposed to happen.
Willow: (louder) Osiris! Here lies the warrior of the people. Let her cross over.
(Willow winces in pain. We see blood running from the cuts on her arms, and round shapes moving under her skin. She gives a little moan of pain. The round things move up her arms and over her chest toward her neck.)
Xander: She needs help!
Tara: Xander, she's strong! She said not to stop, no matter what. If we break the cycle now, it's over. (They all watch anxiously. Willow continues breathing heavily. Suddenly they hear a loud rumbling and they all look around nervously.)
Anya: Oh god, what is that noise?

(Main Street)
(People scream in fear as the demons on motorcycles roar through the downtown area. The rumbling noise (motorcycle engines) continues. The demons drive over cars, through curbside restaurant tables, between pedestrians. At least one demon grabs a woman and pulls her onto his bike. We see them throwing garbage cans through windows, hitting cars with baseball bats, etc. A demon lights a Molotov cocktail and throws it through a store window. Pedestrians continue screaming and running away. Another demon throws another flaming bottle directly at the camera.)

(Cemetery)
(Willow still kneels with her arms held out, panting. The others watch with concern.)
Willow: (yelling) Osiris, let her cross over! Aah...
(Willow makes choking noises as we see the round things under her skin moving up her neck.)
Tara: Oh my god, oh my god. (Willow leans forward putting her hands on the ground, gagging. A snake head appears in her open mouth. Shot of her fingers clutching the grass. The snake slithers out her mouth and onto the ground. The others look horrified.) It's a test. It's a test. Willow...
(Linger on Willow leaning over the ground with her mouth still open.)

(Summers Residence)
(Spike sits in the Summers living room, in the dark in front of a television. He looks across at the sofa. Shot of Dawn asleep on the sofa. Spike looks back at the TV. Sound of motorcycle engines rumbling, tires screeching, crashing noises. Spike jumps up and goes to the window, looks out. We see the demons riding on people's front yards, throwing trash around, etc. Dawn comes up behind Spike, peers out the window.)
Dawn: What's going on?
Spike: (whispers) Stay away from the window.
(Spike takes Dawn's shoulders and moves her away from the window. He walks toward the foyer. Dawn follows.)
Dawn: What is it, what's happening?
Spike: Just do as I say. (He checks to make sure the front door is locked, takes Dawn's shoulders again.) I'm going to check the rest of the house. (He moves off.) Don't move!
(Dawn stands where he placed her, looking around nervously.)

(Downtown Sunnydale)
(The demons are still running rampant, and various things are burning. A demon is smashing the windows of a car with the logo "Espresso2U.com" on it. He turns and goes off, waving his weapon. Sounds of demons yelling, people screaming. We see a couple of demons looking through a woman's purse. Mag is taking stuff out of a store window display where the glass has all been smashed.)
BuffyBot: (os) That doesn't belong to you. (Mag turns and sees BuffyBot standing there with hands on hips.) Put it back.
(Mag opens his mouth and lets out a high-pitched squeal. All the other demons turn to look. BuffyBot looks around nervously as the demons begin to converge on her. Razor comes right up to her as the others form a circle around them.)
Razor: Slayer. I've been hearing interesting things about you.
BuffyBot: Yes. I am interesting. (looks around) These your friends?
Razor: They're my boys, yeah.
BuffyBot: Good. Now tell them to get back on their loud bicycles and go back wherever they came from.
Razor: Or what? You'll electrocute us? (He punches her in the face. She staggers back into a couple of other demons, who catch her and hold her arms.) Hold her. (The bot struggles as Razor comes forward and lifts his hand, revealing a set of ugly claws. Then an even uglier set of serrated metal claws pop out at the ends of his fingers. He reaches out and swipes at the BuffyBot. The claws rip slashes in her shirt and shoulder. Blue sparks sizzle from the wound.) You're nothing but a toy. A pretty toy. Wanna play?
(He moves a little closer and the bot knees him in the groin. As he doubles over, she goes into a backflip, kicking him in the face with both feet and breaking free from her captors.)
BuffyBot: I would, but you've injured me. I have to return to Willow.
(She turns and delivers spin-kicks to two of the demons, lays out four or five more of them in quick succession with mostly kicks and a few punches. She leaps over the prone bodies and runs off. Razor lifts up onto an elbow.)
Razor: Get her!
(A few more demons try to stop BuffyBot but she punches them out of the way. The rest of the demons that she already fought all get up and get on their bikes, and tear off after her.)

(Cemetery)
(Anya, Xander, and Tara continue staring as orange light swirls around Willow, who is kneeling up again, panting loudly.)
Willow: Osiris, release her!
(BuffyBot runs up behind Tara.)
BuffyBot: Willow! I need service!
(Sound of motorcycles revving. The bot looks behind her and runs off as the motorcycle demons ride up. The demons ride around the bot, trapping her. They also ride around the others. Anya yelps. Anya, Xander, and Tara get up and clutch each other, looking around at the demons. Willow is still encased in a tube of reddish-orange light, panting. The demons ride around and around.)
Tara: Willow!
(One of the demons runs his bike over the Urn of Osiris, shattering it.)
Willow: (screams) No!
(The red light dissipates and Willow falls to the ground.)
Tara: Willow!
(Tara runs forward but Mag rides in front of her, cutting her off. She screams and moves back)
Mag: Look what I found!
(The demons continue riding circles around BuffyBot. Xander sees an opening and dashes forward, grabs Willow and pulls her out of the way just as Mag rides his bike through the spot where Willow was lying.)
Xander: (yells to Anya and Tara) Take off! Go! Go!
(Tara and Anya run off. Xander lifts Willow by the shoulders and pulls/shoves her into the underbrush.)

(Forest)
(Tara and Anya run through the forest together with Mag pursuing them. He grabs Anya as he rides by, pulls her onto his bike.)
Tara: Anya! (Tara stops running.) Dissolvo!
(A ball of blue light flashes from Tara to the motorcycle, knocking Anya free. She hits the ground and rolls as the motorcycle continues on. Tara runs to Anya, helps her up and they continue running.)

(Elsewhere in the Forest)
(Xander carries Willow. He stops, puts her down with her back against a tree. She begins to regain consciousness.)
Xander: Willow. Willow, are you okay?
Willow: (weakly) Did it work?
Xander: (shakes head) I'm sorry.
(Willow passes out again. Xander kneels there on the ground with Willow lying across his lap. He looks around nervously. We can still hear the motorcycles all around.)

(Cemetery – Buffy’s Grave)
(Pan down to the ground, into blackness. Fade in on a wrinkled, desiccated hand. Pan up across a body encased in black clothing. The orange mist from before swirls around the head, which is a skull with much of the skin rotting off and the hair decaying. As the mist moves around the body, the eyeballs reappear, the skin and hair repair themselves, and it resolves into Buffy, wide-eyed and gasping. She's inside her coffin. She looks around, panting, with an expression of extreme fear.)


Season Six Guide