Doomed
(Buffy/Willow’s Dorm Room)
(Riley is sitting on Willow’s bed. Buffy is standing near her bed facing him.)
Riley: I guess we have to talk.
Buffy: (sitting on her bed) I guess we do.
(They sit silently looking mainly at the floor only throwing occasional glances at each other.)
Buffy: Somebody should speak before one of us graduates.
Riley: (gets up with a sigh, after a little more time) What are you?
Buffy: Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?
Riley: Sorry. That came out a little blunter than I intended. It’s just... you are amazing! Your speed, your strength.
Buffy: Also passionate, artistic and inquisitive. Who are you?
Riley: You know who I am. The rest... what I do... (Shakes his head) I can’t tell you.
Buffy: (stands up) Well, then let me. You’re part of some military monster squad that captures demons, vampires, probably have some official sounding euphemisms for them, - like unfriendlies or – non sapiens.
Riley: (nodding) Hostile Sub Terrestrials.
Buffy: So you deliver these – HST’s to a bunch of lab coats, who perform experiments on them, which among other things turn some into harmless little bunnies. How am I doing so far?
Riley: A little too well.
Buffy: Meanwhile by day you pretend to be Riley Finn, corn-fed Iowa boy. (Riley looks down) Ever been to Iowa, Riley? God, if that’s even your name.
Riley: It is, born and raised. And hey! Bulletin: I’m not the only one who’s been a little less than honest here.
Buffy: (sits back down) I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. I’m the Slayer. (Riley just looks at her) Slay-er? Chosen One. (Riley is still lost) She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You’re kidding. (Gets back up) Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma the.
Riley: And you fight demons. I mean, you waled on those guys.
Buffy: You did pretty well yourself.
Riley: But I’m a walking bruise today. You see me with my clothes off I look like... (Buffy raises her eyebrows at him) I mean... I have – bruises... I don’t see a scratch on you.
Buffy: You’re not looking hard enough.
Riley: I’m looking pretty hard. (Buffy takes a deep breath both of them look away.) So then... What do we do?
Buffy: I don’t know. I just... (sighs) I really thought that you were a nice, normal guy.
Riley: I am a nice, normal guy.
Buffy: Maybe by this town’s standards but I’m not grading on a curve. (Riley shifts and swallows) I think we both need a little time to – process everything. (Takes a deep breath) Maybe then...
Riley: Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. (They look at each other for a while then he starts to leave, but he turns back after a moment.) Oh, - I don’t think I need to tell you...
Buffy: (sitting on her bed with her arms crossed) I won’t say a word.
Riley: Good. It’ll be safer for all... (He trails off and looks over at Amy-Rat, who’s squeaking like crazy in her cage. Shortly thereafter the whole room begins to shake. He points at the open closet door.) Over here. (They hurry and stand in the doorframe until the earth stops shaking.) Wow. That was some ride. (Buffy walks out into the room looking spooked.) Sorry I’m so excited. This is my first earthquake.
Buffy: It’s not mine.
(Xander’s Basement)
(Spike is pulling the big red leather chair in Xander’s basement to one side of the water leaking from a pipe in the ceiling.)
Spike: Sodden sleeping chair is bloody – sodden.
Xander: (while setting a pan underneath to catch the water) The quake just knocked a couple of pipes lose. There is a wrench hanging up over there by the workbench. Try tightening the coupling.
Spike: Do I look like a plumber to you?
Xander: No, you look like a big mooch that doesn’t lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work.
Spike: Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread, doing your part to keep America constipated.
Xander: Mock not. Remember who pays for the plasma around here, pal. (Picks up the wrench and hands it to Spike.) You earn your keep or you don’t get kept. (Spike takes the wrench. Xander turns away.) When you’re done fixing that leak (Spike hauls back the wrench, but is stopped from hitting Xander by the intense pain in his head.) try cleaning up *this* mess. And doing a *little* laundry for once wouldn’t kill you (Turns back to see Spike holding his head, groaning with the pain.) unfortunately.
(Buffy/Willow’s Dorm Room)
(Buffy getting ready to leave her dorm room just as Willow comes in.)
Willow: Hey! I was in the library during the quake, almost got buried under some 19th century literature. And I don’t have to tell you how hard it is to dig through some of that stuff. You okay?
Buffy: Yeah. A couple of broken knick-knacks, but no biggies.
Willow: Well, Porter dorm is completely blacked out. So naturally they are dealing with the crisis the only way they know how: ‘Aftershock Party’.
Buffy: Ah, this from the dorm that brought us the ‘Somebody Sneezed’ party and the ‘Day That Ends in Y’ party.
Willow: They do seem to be pretty generous with the milestones. Hey, you should ask Riley to come! Much carousing by flattering candle light.
Buffy: Ah, Riley is – ahm, busy. I’m pretty sure. But you know, you go on ahead, and I’ll catch up with you there. I’m on my way for a little Giles one-on-one.
Willow: Anything wrong?
Buffy: Wrong? No, mm-mm, not at all.
(Giles’s Apartment)
(Giles is sitting at the table in his courtyard.)
Buffy: (pacing) Something horrible is going to happen, Giles.
Giles: It was an earthquake, Buffy. A not uncommon occurrence in southern California. No reason to think it was anything more.
Buffy: Oh, I so have a reason. A darn good reason. The last time we had an earthquake, I died.
Giles: Yes, I know that - and - therefore I completely understand your anxiety.
Buffy: Oh, good. Because I’d hate for my little untimely horrible death concern to be ambiguous.
Giles: But unless evidence suggests otherwise, I think that we can assume that it’s shifting landmasses and not a portent of some imminent doom. (Lifts up a map of Sunnydale on a board with red pins stuck on it in clusters) Now in the meantime, I’ve got a few theories about our mysterious commando friends.
Buffy: (sits down) Oh. Really?
Giles: Now based on the locations of our various sightings, and - Spike’s reluctant description of their underground installation...
Buffy: (jumps up) What if the quake was a sign? Ah, a bad omen and we just ignore it? There is going to be a lot of red faces when the world comes to an end.
Giles: (gets up) Buffy, if the quake heralds some such catastrophe, I’m sure there will be other signs to follow, which will afford us plenty of time to avert it. Now, I believe that the commando installation is either very close to, or directly underneath your school, now if that is the case I’m convinced that one or more of them may be in your very midst.
Buffy: Plague!
Giles: What?
Buffy: What if the end of the world is coming in the form of a plague? Then too many people may be infected by the time we actually...
Giles: Buffy! Will you stop worrying about what may be and concentrate on what is! (Buffy gets ready to say something he stops her with a gesture) Vigilance is all very good, but as we are getting close the is a much more pressing question.
(The Initiative)
(Riley and Forrest are walking down a white walled corridor in fatigues.)
Riley: What’s a Slayer?
Forrest: Slayer? Thrash Band. Anvil handed guitar band with delusions of Black Sabbath.
Riley: No. A girl, with powers.
Forrest: Oh. *The* Slayer. Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of the Slayer.
Riley: Fill me in.
Forrest: Well, the way I got it figured the Slayer is like some kind of boogey man for the Subterrestrials, something they tell their little spawn to make them eat their vegetables and clean up their slime pits.
Riley: You’re telling me she doesn’t exist.
Forrest: Oh, wait a sec. Am I bursting somebody’s bubble here? Maybe this is a bad time to tell you about – the Easter-bunny? (Laughs) Sorry, sorry, it’s a myth, Rye. All part of that medieval folklore garbage kooks dream up to explain things we deal with every day.
(A lab-coat and another guy are leading down a horned demon.)
Riley: How do *you* explain the things we deal with, Forrest?
Forrest: They’re just animals, man, plain and simple. Granted they’re a little rarer than the one’s you grew up with on that little farm in Smallville... (There is a commotion behind them. The horned demon has broken loose. They run to help subdue it. The demon gets his arm around Forrest’s neck.) Where is that hypo?
(The lab-coat is fumbling to get his syringe filled. Drops the container. Riley grabs the nightstick the other guy dropped and hits the demon over the head, knocking it out.)
Riley: Never mind.
Forrest: (holding his throat and gasping for air) Like I said – animals. (Hears a lot of banging) What’s that racket?
Riley: Animals rattling their cages. Doing it all day. Wonder what’s got them all worked up.
Forrest: Earthquakes man, make everybody crazy.
(Porter Dorm)
(Willow is standing in the middle of the party looking lost. She spots Percy talking to a girl sitting on a sofa and walks over.)
Willow: Percy! Hi!
Percy: Hey, Willow! What’s going on?
Willow: Stuff. I-I thought you got that football scholarship to USC.
Percy: I did. (Motions to the girl next to him) Laurie goes here.
Laurie: Hey.
Willow: Hi. Some party, huh?
Laurie: (gives her a fake smile) It’s okay.
Percy: (after a pause) How’s Oz?
Willow: Oh, actually, Oz is...
(Laurie gets up and links her arm with Percy’s and leans in to whisper in his ear.)
Percy: (to Willow) Uhm, listen – we’re going to get some drinks. Cool to see you.
Laurie: Bye.
Willow: Yeah, catch you later.
(A topless guy trailing two girls makes his way across the room and walks through a door. As the door swings shut behind them we see the green, clawed fingers of a demon gripping the edge.)
(Bedroom)
(The same guy is alone in a room fixing four drinks, humming.)
Guy: (yells over towards the next room) Hey, you guys serious about naked limbo? I’m in.
(He picks up the four drinks and turns around. An ugly green demon roars, and slices him across the throat with its claws. We see the drinks drop to the floor, blood drips on them.)
(Living Room)
(Willow at the party looking bored.)
Willow: Buffy, where are you?
Laurie: (os) Why? So I can watch you flirt with that red head?
Percy: (os) What, Rosenberg? Yea, right. She’s just some egghead who tutored me a little in high school (Willow looks behind her to see the two of them sitting on a couch, their backs to her) I mean, she’s nice, but, come on, Captain of the nerd squad.
Laurie: Well, I don’t know. Maybe you have a thing for geeks.
Percy: No, I like my women hot. (Shrugs) Call me old-fashioned.
(Willow walks away looking unhappy as they kiss.)
(Bedroom)
(Willow opens the door to a dark room.)
Willow: Hello? Anyone in here?
(She closes the door behind her and walks further into the room. She stumbles against something and reaches down to feel what it was, then lays down on the bed. Suddenly the lights come back on and we see that the guy with the sliced throat is laying on the other side of her. Willow slowly turns and jumps off the bed panting with fear. She stares at the symbol of a pyramid with an eye in it that has been carved into his chest.)
(Xander’s Basement)
(Xander walks down the stairs into his basement, carrying a pizza box.)
Xander: Oh, no! Spike the place is worse then when I left! You didn’t even fix the drip!
Spike: Don’t turn around.
Xander: Spike, what is it, what happened?
Spike: Don’t look at me. (Xander turns around and his eyes almost pop out of his head as he stares at – Spike wearing one of Xander’s knee-length shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. Xander starts to laugh. Spike holds up his old clothes.) I shrunk them. Bleeding shirt, trousers. I hate this place.
Xander: You know I’m not any happier about you wearing my stuff than you are.
Spike: Go out, get me some decent stuff, and I want more blood.
Xander: No! You’re not a guest.
Spike: You want me to tear this place apart, you bloody poof?
Xander: That’s it! I am way past due with you. I hate to break it to you, oh impotent one, but you’re not the big bad anymore, you’re not even the kind of naughty. You’re nothing but a waste of space – my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum, as much as I know I can give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I’m here to tell you something (He steps forward, right under the drip of water from the leaky pipe) You’re not even worth it. I’m out of here.
(Spike looks after Xander at a loss for words.)
(Porter Dorm)
(The dead guy is being wheeled away in a body bag as Buffy walks in.)
Willow: (sitting on some stairs) Buffy! Over here.
Buffy: (goes to sit next to her with a sigh) Wow. I wasn’t sure where the party was, and then I saw the flashing lights and the ambulance, and I was like ‘right, of course! Death, carnage – it’s a Buffy party!
Willow: I’m so glad you’re here.
Buffy: What happened?
Willow: I found him – this guy on the bed with me. Dead. Not me dead, he dead.
Buffy: God. Are you okay? (Willow nods. Buffy whispers) Vampire?
Willow: (shakes her head) There was so much blood, and there – there was a symbol, and Percy said I was a nerd!
Buffy: Percy called you a nerd?
Willow: (nods) I guess we should report to Giles, get with the demon tracking.
Buffy: (as the walk out) Does he even go here?
(Riley’s Dorm Room)
(Riley and Forrest are shooing hoops with a little mini basketball and hoop. Riley shoot a foam ball at the hoop fastened to the door and misses.)
Forrest: Okay, that makes 0 for a billion. You don’t got game, son. What’s going on in that head of yours?
Riley: I’m just trying to make up my mind about something. Buffy, she’s pretty cool, isn’t she?
Forrest: (sighs) *Yes* already, she’s cool, she’s hot, she is tepid, she’s all temperature Buffy. Now can we concentrate on the game here? (He shoots just as the door opens and the third member of their team comes in. The ball hits him on the head.) Good block. You should use your face more often.
Graham: We have an alpha code blue situation.
(Riley and Forrest get up.)
Riley: One of ours?
Graham: Negative. Civilian at the Porter hall party.
Forrest: HST attack?
Graham: Can not confirm that. I couldn’t get close without drawing attention to myself.
Forrest: Should we mobilize?
Riley: No, I’ll go. Do a little recon. See if it falls in our domain. You alert Prof. Walsh. Tell her we have a casualty of an indeterminate nature. Lets not make a move until we get the whole story.
(Giles’s Apartment)
Willow: It just made me feel like I was right back in high school.
Xander: Dumb jock! If it wasn’t for you he still would be.
Willow: I mean, I know the - Percy thing isn’t really important, it’s the - dead guy on the bed.
Xander: Yeah, that’s bad, too.
Willow: Ooh, and something else. He, the dead guy, was-was propped up, like whatever killed him wanted to drain the blood out of him. So I’m thinking the whatever took a bunch of the guy’s blood with it. And I haven’t been a nerd for a very long time! Hello dating a guitarist, - or I - was.
Buffy: Tell me about this symbol.
(Willow takes out a yellow napkin and unfolds it: Right, it was carved into his chest, like a big creepy eye.)
Xander: (looks at her drawing) It’s kind of the CBS logo. Hey, could this be the handiwork of one Mr. Morley Safer?
Buffy: I’m telling you I’ve seen this somewhere before, I just can’t remember where! I mean, it’s like...
Giles: It’s the end of the world.
Buffy, Willow, & Xander: Again?
Giles: It’s ah, the earthquake, - that symbol, -yes.
Buffy: I told you. I-I said end of the world and you’re like ‘poo-poo southern California, poo-poo!
Giles: I’m so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.
Willow: No, I-it can’t be. We’ve done this already.
Giles: It’s the end of the world, everyone dies. It’s rather important really.
Willow: So what do we do?
Buffy: (goes and picks up a crossbow) I stop it.
(Everyone looks down on the symbol on the napkin, which blends into the same symbol on the side of a crypt.)
(Cemetery)
(Buffy looks up at the symbol on the crypt.)
Buffy: I wonder where I’ve seen this before? Where else? The place I spend most of my waking hours memorizing stuff of the sides of mausoleums, big freaky cereal boxes of death.
(There is a noise of stone scraping.)
(Crypt)
(The green demon is picking up the bones of a child’s skeleton and putting them into a burlap sack.)
Buffy: Door was open.
(Demon turns and roars at her. She shoots it in the shoulder with the crossbow, then throws the crossbow at it. It bats the crossbow aside and comes at her. The two of them start fighting, after a while the fight moves outside.)
(Outside)
(At the end the demon picks Buffy up and slams her down on top of a grave marker. Buffy lies on the ground groaning for a moment, but when a shadow falls over her, she flips back to her feet, turns and hauls back with a hard right at – Riley who just manages to block it.)
Riley: Wow, that flippy-thing you did...
Buffy: (looks around) Where did it go?
Riley: I saw it take off towards the woods.
Buffy: And you didn’t follow it?
Riley: No weapons, no backup, you don’t go after a demon that size by yourself.
Buffy: I do.
Riley: (pulls out a handheld radio) Yeah, well, I’m no Slayer. (To Radio) Base one, this is lilac one.
Buffy: Lilac?
Riley: (holds up a hand to quiet her) Confirmed sighting of an unidentified Sub-T. Mobilize patrol team for debriefing at o800 hours.
Radio: Copy that.
Buffy: Very commandory – lilac not withstanding. (Riley laughs, putting his radio away) What are you doing here?
Riley: Looking for you, she who hangs out in cemeteries.
Buffy: (frowns and turns away) I have to – get the demon.
Riley: Don’t sweat it. We’ll bag it.
Buffy: (turns back) It’s not that simple.
Riley: Yeah, but - I really think...
Buffy: Riley, I just... can’t.
Riley: Can’t talk?
Buffy: Can’t any of it. I can’t be with you. It’s just a huge, black pit of a mistake and I can’t go there again.
Riley: Again? You’ve dated me before?
Buffy: No! Look I was involved... (Sighs) You don’t know what my life is like.
Riley: But I’m dying to find out.
Buffy: Dying being the operative word here. Okay, there is too much risk. There is too much... (Sighs) It’s just doomed! And I can’t do doomed *again* right now. Sorry.
Riley: I-I don’t understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it’s not like we don’t have anything in common.
Buffy: But that’s not enough.
Riley: Buffy, I’m thrown by this, I’m confused... But I can feel my skin humming, my hands, my every inch of me. I’ve never been this excited about anybody before. I’m not trying to scare you, and I’m not going to force myself on you. But I’m, by God, not going to walk away because I think it *might* not work. I don’t know what’s happened in your past...
Buffy: (backs up a step) Pain, - death, - apocalypse. - None of it fun. Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have a fancy term for it? Because I went to high school on it, for three years. (Shakes her head) We do not have that much in common. This is a job to you.
Riley: It’s not just a job.
Buffy: It’s an adventure, great. But for me, it’s destiny. It is something that I can’t change, something that I can’t escape. I’m stuck!
Riley: You don’t *have* to be. You’re not in high school anymore. You *can* change things.
Buffy: Riley, no.
Riley: I know it may seem...
Buffy: Riley! My answer is no.
(She turns and walks away and he watches her go before turning and leaving himself.)
(Giles’s Apartment)
Giles: A Vahrall demon.
Willow looking over at his book: Eew!
Xander: I second that revulsion.
Giles: Yes. ‘Slick like gold and gird in moonlight, father of portents and brother to blight’.
Buffy: (reading over his shoulder) Limbs with talons, eyes like knives, bane to the blameless, thief of lives.
(The Initiative)
Riley: (debriefing his patrol team) Three meters tall, approximately 100 –120 kilograms, based on my visual analysis.
Graham: Special hazards?
Riley: Unknown. Probably nothing we haven’t handled before. There is no pattern we can discern yet, so we got to assume that it is on a basic kill-crush-destroy.
(Giles’s Apartment)
Buffy: This thing isn’t digging up the bones of a child for fun.
Xander: Well, a demon’s got some pretty hilarious ideas about fun.
Willow: Bones of a child though. I saw that! (Pulls a book over to her and flips pages) An ancient ritual – uses the blood of a man, the bones of a child and – something called the word of Valios? I-It’s all part of the sacrifice – the sacrifice of three.
Buffy: Let me guess – ends the world.
Willow: Well, yeah, - I-it’s not big with the details, though. It doesn’t say how the world ends or what the ritual entails exactly.
Xander: The sacrifice of three... – Three people are going to die?
Buffy: No, they won’t. Because claw boy is not getting all of his ingredients. We have to find that third one, the Word of Valios, keep him from getting it.
Willow: If he doesn’t already have it. I mean, who knows where he’s been?
(The Initiative)
Riley: Here is one for the good guys: this thing has a pheromone signature a mile wide. Agent Gates has been working with the detection system the lab’s developing.
Forrest: (gets up) Can’t tell where it’s going, but I’ve got a bead on where it’s been. (Stands next to Riley) Residual traces showing up in populated areas. The thing’s not shy.
Riley: We’re going out in civies, day clothes only guys. Weapons stowed in packs, keep ‘em out of sight til nightfall. Remember this isn’t a capture, it’s a kill.
Forrest: (as the meeting breaks up) Get your quadrant assignment from me. We’ll blanket the town.
(Giles’s Apartment)
Buffy: I’ll check the magic shop. See if they’ve heard of a book called the word of Valios. (Puts on her coat) Willow, Xander, how about the book archives at the museum?
Xander: We’ll stop at my place on the way, get some weapons, and I’ll change into something that isn’t quite as anchovy scented.
Buffy: You guys this thing takes wicked very seriously. Be careful. I couldn’t stand anybody getting hurt.
(Xander’s Basement)
(A stake is clamped to the edge of a table. Camera pans up to reveal Spike standing on a chair before it his arms spread wide.)
Spike: Good bye, Dru. See you in hell.
(He lets himself fall forward just as Willow and Xander walk in. He turns in the air to look at them and misses the stake, smashing the table.)
Willow: What are you doing?
Spike: (picks himself up) Bloody rot. Can’t a person knock?
Willow: What were you doing?
Xander: You were trying to stake yourself!
Spike: Fag off! It’s no concern of yours.
Xander: Is, too. For one thing that’s my shirt you’re about to dust. For another, we’ve shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you.
Willow: Xander!
Xander: What? He wants to die, I want to help.
Willow: It’s ooky. We know him, we can’t just let him poof himself!
Spike: Oh, but you can. You know I’d drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I’m beyond pathetic. Stuck in this basement washing skivvies for a blighter I wouldn’t have bothered to bite a few months ago.
Xander: (in the process of changing) Hey!
Spike: I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth.
(Willow just looks at him and he jumps at her, curling his hands into claws.)
Willow: Well, the shirt is kinda – not very threatening – and the short pants, but you know it could also be because I know you can’t bite, which I guess isn’t really what you need to hear right now, is it?
Spike: Stop, please, just clear out.
Xander: Fine. But you break anything else while we’re gone and you’ll be sleeping in the garage, buster.
Willow: We can’t leave him here like this! We’ll have to take him with us to the museum.
Spike: Oh, you go on. I won’t do anything. I feel better now. Promise.
Xander: (puts an arm around Spike’s shoulder as they walk towards the steps) Think of the happy. If we don’t find what we’re looking for, we face an apocalypse.
Spike: Really? You’re not just saying that?
(Downtown Street)
(Buffy is walking down the street. She sees Riley slowly walking down the street looking at a little handheld device, and waits for him to get to her.)
Riley: Buffy.
Buffy: Is this really the time for Donkey Kong?
Riley: (frowns, confused) What? (Buffy looks at the thing in his hand) Oh. It, ah, takes trace readings of creatures pheromones.
Buffy: And?
Riley: And it’s either mating season for this thing or it’s moving all over town. You know, Buffy...
Buffy: Actually I need to go. Big bad, needs to be squished.
Riley: (falls in beside her) Right. I’m on it, too. (Steps in front of her) It’s just - this thing, this you and me thing, it’s Stupid!
Buffy: I know. Which is why we can’t do it, the you and me thing.
Riley: No, I mean you’re stupid. (Buffy looks at him) I mean... I don’t mean that. No, I think maybe I do.
Buffy: Wow, with sweet talk like that, you’ll definitely melt my reservations.
Riley: I’m serious. You have this twisted way of looking at things, this doom and gloom mentality. You keep thinking like that and things will probably turn out just the way you expect.
Buffy: (starts to walk past him) You know there is nothing more dangerous than a psych-grad-student.
Riley: (follows and steps back in front of her) Buffy, where is the bad here? (Buffy sighs and rubs her neck) It just turns out – we are even more well matched than we thought we were. I mean, you’re a (sees some people walking by) – fry cook – and so am I!
Buffy: Yeah, but you’re an amateur – fry cook and I come form a long line of fry cooks that don’t live past 25.
Riley: Which is exactly the attitude I’m talking about. Look, I know the risks of what we do. I also know it’s more rewarding than any other job on the planet – and fun.
Buffy: Fun? The last person I know that believed that is in a coma right now because she had so much fun on the job.
Riley: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take your work seriously.
Buffy: That I should just turn my frown upside down? Is that it? I wish I could. But this isn’t the kind of gig where you can just hang it up at the end of the night and snuggle with your honey.
Riley: But why? Why can’t it be?
Buffy: Because I’ve tried it, okay? And every time it just fell apart. And then I get sucked right back in to the Uber-evil.
Riley: Welcome to the story of the world. Things fall apart Buffy. And evil – it comes and goes. But the way people manage is, they don’t do it alone. They pull each other through. If you weren’t so self involved you’d see that.
Buffy: (after a beat) You have no idea what you’re talking about. You barely know me. (She walks past him and he stays beside her.)
Riley: I know that it’s not just a job thing. I’m sure that there is some good looking guy that done you wrong in there, too. But mostly I think you want to stay down in that dark place (Buffy stops to look at him and he steps in front of her) because maybe it’s safer down there.
Buffy: You are so out of line.
Riley: No. See I don’t think so. (Puts his hands on her arms) Look, we have an opportunity here, you and me, and the fact that you’re to scared to even give it a try…
Buffy: Is my business. So why don’t you just leave me alone?
Riley: (straightens up slowly and looks at her) Fair enough.
(After another moment he walks past her. Buffy closes her eyes for a moment then walks on herself.)
(Historical Museum)
Willow, Xander and Spike exit the museum.)
Willow: Great. No word of Valios.
Xander: Not even a syllable of Valios.
Spike: Which means I’m one step closer to melting in a sea of molten hellfire, yeah?
Willow: You shouldn’t talk like that. Yeah, okay, so you can’t kill anymore, but there are other fun things you can do. You’ll adjust.
Spike: (stops and turns around) Adjust? And what? End up like the two of you? No thank you.
Xander: Here it goes. ‘We can’t jus leave him here to stake himself! It’s not right.’
Spike: I should think you would be glad to greet the end of days. I mean, neither one of you is making much of a go at it. (Gestures at Xander) You. Kids your age are going off to University, you’ve made it as far as the basement. And Red here, - you couldn’t even keep dog-boy happy. You can take the loser out of high school, but...
Willow: I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to get us to dust you.
Spike: Am not! I just don’t want pity from geeks more useless than I am.
Willow: We’re not useless! We – we help people. We fight the forces of evil!
Spike: *Buffy* fights the forces of evil. You’re her groupies. She’d do just as well without you – better I’d wager, since she wouldn’t have to go about saving your hides all the time.
Xander: That is no not true! We’re part of the team. She needs us.
Spike: Or you’re just the same tenth grade losers you’ve always been, and she’s too much of a softy to cut you lose.
(Willow and Xander stand there speechless and after a moment Spike turns and walks on a satisfied grin spreading over his face.)
(Giles’s Apartment)
(Giles is looking through a book. He finds a picture of the Word of Valios which turns out to be a 15th century talisman.)
Giles: Oh – as usual – dear.
(Goes to dig through his chest, pulls out a box filled with necklaces and talismans and pulls out the Word of Valios.
Three Vahral demons attack him.)
(Time Lapse)
(Buffy walks in.)
Buffy: What happened?
(Giles looking beat up, is sitting on the couch next to Xander.)
Giles: It’s my fault. I should have known.
Buffy: Giles...
Giles: The Word of Valios – is the name of a talisman – not a book. I blame myself entirely. I had it here.
Xander: You had it here? Okay, first I thought you were being to hard on yourself, but…
(Willow brings some ice wrapped into a dishtowel and Giles presses it against his head.)
Giles: Oh, thank you. I bought it at a sorcerer’s estate sale. I really only glanced at it once. I thought it was a knock off.
Buffy: Well, they have it. And they probably have their sacrifices by now, too.
Giles: They’re on their way to perform the sacrifice now.
Buffy: On their way where? You found out what the ritual is for?
Giles: The Hellmouth. They are going to open the Hellmouth. The one in the library.
(The guys look at each other then Buffy gets up.)
Buffy: Looks like we’re going back to high school.
(Sunnydale High)
(The gang walks up to the ruins of the school. The moon is full and shining in the sky.)
Buffy: (as they enter) Be careful you guys, the place doesn’t look to stable.
Spike: Fine by me. Hope we all go under.
Buffy: Why is he even here. It’s not like he can fight!
Willow: If we leave him alone, he’ll stake himself.
Buffy: And that’s bad because...? - Fine. Whatever. Just keep him out of the way. I do *not* have time for this. (Sighs) Okay, when we get to the library keep a look out for victims they’re keeping alive for the sacrifice. Getting them out is the first priority.
Willow: Will do.
Buffy: (takes a deep breath) Okay – you guys ready?
Xander: Lets rock and roll.
Spike: (mocking Xander) Lets rock and roll.
(Hallway)
Xander: Sunnydale High. These walls – if they were still walls, what stories they could tell. (Steps on something squishy) Eew! (Everyone turns to look at him) Mayor meat. Extra crispy.
(They walk on.)
Willow: I think we’re near the library.
(Library)
(They slowly enter. There is a big hole where the floor used to be. We hear a growling chanting going on.)
Willow: Whoa. Check out the new floor plan.
(Three Vahral demons are standing around a fissure in the floor.)
Buffy: Three of them.
Willow: I don’t see any sacrifice people.
Buffy: They must be around here somewhere. The ritual is not finished. And it’s not gonna be.
(Buffy jumps down into the hole and attacks the three demons. One of them drops the bottle with the blood and Xander hurries over to pick it up before any of the demons can get it.)
Xander: The blood! Get the talisman. They can’t do the ritual.
(Buffy keeps waling on the three demons. Willow darts in and pulls the sack with the bones out of one of the demon’s hands.)
Willow: I’ve got the bones! (She tosses them to Xander) Here!
(Xander tosses them right back to her as he is attacked by one of the Vahrall.)
Xander: (as the demon keeps beating him in the stomach) You’ve got the wrong man, dude. I’ve had a lot of practice with my lunch money.
(Willow tosses the bag of bones to Spike, who is sitting by the edge of the hole watching the fight.)
Willow: Spike!
(Spike catches the bones and sees one of the Vahral coming for him.)
Spike: Right, perfect.
(Buffy is fighting one demon, Xander another and the last is beating up on Spike. The one fighting Xander gets a hold of the bottle of blood, turns and jumps into the Hellmouth.)
Xander: Okay, I guess I won. (The earth begins to shake) The demons! They *are* the sacrifice!
(Spike finally has enough of getting beaten on. He hauls back, screams and hits the demon with all his might, then puts his hand to his head, but there is no pain.)
Spike: No pain! (He hits the demon again) I can hurt a demon! (He vamps out and starts to make up for all the violence he’s missed out on, having a great old time. The demon finally falls to the floor, beaten.) That’s right. I’m back. And I’m a BLOODY ANIMAL! Yeah!
(Spike picks up the Vahrall, not noticing that it has just gathered up the sack of bones and lifts it high above his head.)
Xander: No!
Willow: Spike, not in the hole!
(Spike throws the Vahrall into the Hellmouth and another bigger tremor shakes the earth.)
Spike: What? I was helping!
Buffy: Get out of here! The building is going to come down!
(Starting with a beam that hits Spike on the back of his head, dropping him to the ground. Xander runs over and helps him up. He and Willow help Spike out of the hole as Buffy continues to beat up on the last Vahrall demon. She even picks up a piece of wood and stakes it at one point, but to little effect. As the Vahrall hauls back to hit Buffy, its arm is grabbed from behind by Riley, who pulls it around and starts to beat up on it.)
Buffy: (still on the floor) Don’t let it jump into the Hellmouth!
(The Vahrall grabs Riley and throws him across the room. Riley gets right back up only to get dropped by a hard kick to his stomach. Buffy is back up and waling on the demon. Riley gets back up and the beat up on it in tandem for a moment before Buffy kicks it across the room. A beam drops on Riley and while Buffy is distracted the Vahrall picks up the talisman and slides headfirst into the Hellmouth.)
Buffy: I’m going in.
Riley: (hooks a cable to her belt) You’re coming back out.
(Buffy runs and dives into the Hellmouth. We get a shot of the demon falling. A shot of Riley and the cable being pulled from a round box on his belt. A shot of Buffy falling. A shot of Riley wrapping the cable around a piece of rebar sticking out of some broken concrete. The cable stops being pulled out and Riley starts to pull Buffy back up while the earth is shaking again. Buffy’s arm hooks over the edge of the hole and Riley hurries forward and helps her climb out of the hole. Buffy is holding on to the demon with her left hand and Riley helps her to pull it out of the Hellmouth.)
Riley: Buffy.
(The Vahrall demon slumps down dead and the earth stops shaking.)
(Hallway)
(Riley and Buffy walk up to where Willow, Xander and Spike are waiting for them in the hallway.)
Riley: Well, hey! Willow – and Xander, right? Jeez, what are the chances, huh? (Looks at Buffy for help, but she just folds her arms and looks down) Yeah, I was just passing by when I thought I heard people inside.
Willow: Passing by in your GI Joe outfit?
(Riley looks down at himself.)
Buffy: (suppressing a smile) No offence, but you do look wicked conspicuous.
Riley: I do? But it’s... – Paintball! Yeah, I was playing paintball. And then the aftershocks...
Xander: So you’re one of the commando guys, huh?
Riley: (laughs) Oh, no, no, no, no. Commando? No, I mean... (Notices Spike) Don’t I know you?
Spike: Me? (Affecting a bad Texan accent) No. No, sir. I’m just an old pal of Xander’s here.
Riley: Oh. That’s nice.
(Buffy walks out and Riley and the others follow.)
Xander: (to Willow) It’s kinda weird being back, isn’t it?
Willow: (looking at the burnt out hallway) Yeah. Everything seems so small – and more charred and ruiny.
(Riley’s Dorm Room – Day)
(Riley is again trying to shoot hoops with mixed success. There is a knock on the door.)
Riley: Come in.
(Buffy sticks her head in then slowly walks in.)
Buffy: You never called. So I didn’t know...
Riley: Oh, hey – I’m sorry. I’m just – I’m a dead man. – Secret. Highly. Or it’s supposed to be. And – and then you find out. I can deal. You’re special. But last night with your friends was a disaster. I mean, could I’ve been *less* convincing? I was *trained* to be sneaky and stuff, and I’m like – Hi! Paintball – just passing by! I should have just given them my security code and rank!
Buffy: You have a security code and rank?
Riley: No. Did I just say..? (Sinks down on the end of his bed) This is so not good. (Sighs) Everybody knows about me. I’m finished. It’s the end of the world.
Buffy: (walks up to him with a smile) No, it’s not.
(She leans down and kisses him.)
(Xander’s Basement)
(Willow and Xander are watching TV in his basement. Spike walks up to stand right in front of the screen and the two of them sway to one side in an effort to see around him.)
Spike: What’s this? Sitting around watching the telly while there’s evil still a foot. (Turns the TV off) That’s not very industrious of you. I say we go out there (Rubs his hands together) and kick a little demon ass! (Xander and Willow stare at him) What, can’t go without your Buffy, is that it? To chicken? Let’s find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let’s annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies – and Christmas, right? Let’s *fight* that evil! - Let’s *kill* something! (Fade to black) Oh, come *on*!
Season Three Guide