The Last Lap of Luxury
(seaQuest DSV - Bridger's Room)
Bridger: Hey, Bill, do I come into your house and mess around with your stuff?
Noyce: SeaQuest isn't your house, Nathan. Magnificent obsession maybe, but not your house.
Bridger: Not a parade float, either. Look, Secretary Dre wants to go to a summit meeting, fine. Why do we have to be the escort? Why don't they use that billion dollar supersonic sky wagon, that one with the motion picture theater in it? They can watch Lawrence of Arabia, get there before intermission.
Noyce: (laughs) Dre is Lawrence of Arabia.
Bridger: Dre is a politician.
Noyce: Secretary General Dre is the head of UEO, in other words, our boss. I thought you liked Dre.
Bridger: I do, like I like opera. I like to listen to it, I don't like to watch it.
Noyce: You're driving me nuts. What'd you get this one for? Advanced attitude training?
Bridger: You know what the operational costs are for a trip like this?
Noyce: Sure, I know what they cost. So does Secretary Dre. Dre signs the checks.
Bridger: Unnecessary expenditure. It comes out of my science budget. It's a flag waving contest to see who gets to draw the map of the world or drill for oil in some God-forsaken desert. You know why I hate deserts?
Noyce: No, why?
Bridger: They used to be oceans.
Noyce: You know, this is the first UEO summit in two years. They were supposed to have one every six months but it took the UEO that long to decide on a location.
Bridger: Do you mind?
Noyce: Oh, sorry, Nathan.
Bridger: These are the same guys who used to hand out baseball franchises.
Noyce: seaQuest is the pride of the UEO. Dre wants to make an entrance and we're part of that.
Bridger: I'm not gonna have to sing the national anthem, am I?
Noyce: You may. You know, I have known Dre since…
Bridger: Oh, please, I've heard this story a hundred times. The day you skipped summer school and went to Woodstock. Dre picked you up while you were hitchhiking and you went to the concert together.
Noyce: Yeah, the last great rock concert.
Bridger: I don't know, I was only eight. And when it came to rock and roll, I was a U2 man anyway.
Noyce: (leaving the room, Bridger following) A derivative rock band at best. They couldn't pack the Who's lunch.
Bridger: Oh, give me a break.
(Caribbean Sea - Underneath Mondial Resort )
Alan Lamm: (on screen) How are we doing?
Richard: It's going well.
Lamm: (on screen) I don't want to hear that it's going well, I want to know if it works. I built this whole resort just to hold the UEO summit. I am activating in three.
Richard: We should clear the men first, Alan.
Lamm: (on screen) Not if it works. And three. (resort shakes) It didn't work. I suggest you fix it.
Narrator: Man's struggle for cultural identity has bloodied the global landscape for millennia. Nations rise and fall, shattered by tribalism. Borders expand and contract by the dictates of military power, and ancestral piety. The fight for land rages on, but now the oceans have become the last unclaimed territory. Man's race into the seas to harvest it's riches of food and minerals brings new conflicts, and a new alliance of nations to deal with it. But old power does not give way easily to new order, and the mandate of the United Earth/Oceans Organization to maintain peace is about to be tested at its highest level.
(seaQuest DSV - Launch Bay)
Crocker: (Noyce and Bridger enter) Admiral on deck.
Ford: Launch is docked, sir.
Bridger: Thank you. Look at me, Charlie Tuna, chauffeur of the sea.
Noyce: Would you relax, Dre likes you.
Bridger: Mmm hmm.
Crocker: Detail, ten hut.
Andrea Dre: (exits launch) Isn't anybody in this place going to offer me a cup of coffee?
Crocker: (all laugh) Detail, parade hut.
Secretary Dre: Hah hah, Billy.
Noyce: It's so good to see you.
Secretary Dre: It's so good to see you. Graduating first in class pays off, doesn't it Commander Ford? (shakes hands) Congratulations.
Ford: Thank you, ma'am.
Secretary Dre: Nathan, you look gorgeous. I see they've got you wearing shoes again. I'm glad.
Bridger: Thank you Madam Secretary.
Secretary Dre: And thank you for giving me a lift.
Noyce: We've been looking forward to it, Andrea.
Secretary Dre: Now, what'll it take to get us there in time for dinner?
Bridger: About two million dollars, Madam Secretary.
Secretary Dre: Oh, relax, I'll charge it off to the space program.
Bridger: Commander, what's our ETA?
Ford: Seventeen hundred hours, sir.
Secretary Dre: Amazing, that's nearly two hundred miles an hour. And to think I lobbied against this project in the first place.
Bridger: I remember, Madam Secretary.
Secretary Dre: But Nathan, it was your presentation that turned me around. Eight hours to the Middle Americas, that is fantastic. And it'll give you plenty of time to show me around the ship.
Bridger: Wouldn't you just rather rest before the summit?
Secretary Dre: (walking off down the hall with Bridger and Noyce) Don't be silly. You see, this summit is taking place at an undersea resort. We're part of the grand opening. If we didn't have to set world policy, I would've brought my scuba gear. Now, Nathan, I want you to show me what you've been spending all that UEO research money on.
(Sea Deck)
Bridger: Is that working, Doctor?
Westphalen: Of course.
Noyce: Wait'll you see this.
Secretary Dre: I am. Maybe you should show me another of the seaQuest's accomplishments.
Bridger: No, no, no, let's wait, it's worth it, I assure you.
Westphalen: Here he comes.
Lucas: (jumps up, throws sponge at clock) Woah oh, it's up, it's good. Dolphins win. (notices group) Am I missing something here?
Bridger: Yes, Darwin.
Lucas: I'll get him. (swims off)
Secretary Dre: Who was that?
Bridger: Stowaway.
Darwin: Darwin, Lucas, play football.
Secretary Dre: That's unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Bridger: You can explain this.
Lucas: Yeah, we were in sudden death overtime, Captain.
Bridger: I see. Beat it.
Westphalen: Darwin represents the first real breakthrough in inter-species communication.
Bridger: He sorta falls in that gray area between God and science, wouldn't you say?
Secretary Dre: Can I take Darwin with me to the summit?
Darwin: Yes, Darwin go.
Bridger: Well, he has a peculiar personality, a different beneficence. We don't want to put him on parade to, uh, …
Secretary Dre: To further our own political needs?
Bridger: In so many words, yes.
Secretary Dre: I couldn't agree more. Doctor, I would like you to speak to the confederation about your work.
Westphalen: Actually, I'm not responsible for Darwin's speech.
Secretary Dre: Well, then, who is responsible? (Bridger looks uncomfortable)
(Lucas's Room)
Bridger: (enters with Dre) Lucas. (taps Lucas on shoulder, Lucas turns music off) Lucas, I'd like you to…
Secretary Dre: Captain, let's just keep this informal now. So, you're a musician too?
Lucas: Kinda more of a scientist.
Secretary Dre: Well that music you're playing was very different. Is it original?
Lucas: No, no, I've just made a computer search of the best rock and roll samples of the last fifty years and listed them in a digital sequence. The computer here selects sound bytes and transmits it to the synthesizer, and makes the best choice for the next needed piece of music, randomly composing a never heard before rock song, played by all the greats. It's pretty cool, I've got, uh, Les Paul playing with the Stones and the Spin Doctors, here's some DMZ outta Saigon.
Bridger: What about the viral sweep of the mainframe you were working on?
Lucas: I'm workin' on it.
Bridger: Uh huh.
Secretary Dre: Would you, uh, play something for me, right now?
Lucas: Uh, it's still a little experimental.
Secretary Dre: Oh, come on, I was at Woodstock.
Lucas: That was the turning point of the Vietnam War, wasn't it?
Nathan Bridger: Lucas, just play the lady a song.
(Lucas turns up the volume all the way, and turns up the amps. The music is okay, but it's so loud that it blows out a speaker.)
Lucas: Still a little experimental.
Secretary Dre: Oh, well, it's all right. You know, failure breeds solution. I'm Andrea Dre, and you Lucas, are an impressive young man.
Lucas: Secretary General Andrea Dre, I didn't know you were on board.
Secretary Dre: I'd like you to come with me to the UEO Summit.
Lucas: What?
Bridger: The confederations are having a summit meeting, to discuss world policy.
Lucas: Oh.
Secretary Dre: You don't wanna come?
Lucas: Well it kinda sounds like going shopping with your parents.
Secretary Dre: Well maybe you'd rather be doing that viral sweep of the mainframe?
Lucas: (looks at Bridger, Bridger shrugs) Give me five minutes and I'll pack.
(Mondial Resort - Lamm's office)
Lamm: (picks up phone) They are arriving. Are we ready Richard?
Richard: (under resort) Yes.
Lamm: Put security on alert.
(Mondial Resort - Conference Room)
Darwin: (on screen) … universe home for world. We are universe. (screen goes blank, all clap)
Secretary Dre: Well, that was Darwin. And now, to tell you more about this phenomenon, the man behind one of seaQuest's proudest accomplishments, Lucas Wolenczak.
(Everyone turns to look at Lucas just as he's blowing a huge bubble with his gum.)
Bridger: (to Lucas) Guess you'll have to say something.
Lucas: Oh, great. (walks over to microphone) Well, inter-species communication is clearly a new frontier. (Bridger points to mouth, Lucas puts gum under table) Uh, when I began working on this project - (speaker repeats in another language) Uh, (laughs) sorry about that. Let me figure this out.
Secretary Dre: I need to talk to you. (points to door)
Lucas: I need to talk about dolphins. (speaker repeats in another language) What language is this? Just a second. (looks at Bridger, Bridger shrugs and leaves room) Can someone turn this thing off?
(Outside Conference Room)
Secretary Dre: Some of the unaffiliated regions have gone on military alert.
Bridger: What?
Secretary Dre: I got a call from a northwestern outpost just before the summit started. I didn't want to say anything until we verified it.
Noyce: Why would they go on alert?
Secretary Dre: Possibly to disrupt the summit.
(Lamm's Office)
Lamm: (in office, picks up phone) It's time.
(Conference Room)
Lucas: (in conference room) We found that the tendencies when working with higher life-forms is to be a bit, anthropomorphic. Attaching human characteristics to the behavior … of animals.
(The resort begins to shake. Lucas makes his way over to the windows and lifts one of the flaps, he sees that they are moving down. He's really worried now.)
(Outside Conference Room)
Bridger: What's that?
(The door to the Conference room opens and all of the leaders and Lucas are gone.)
Secretary Dre: Oh my God.
Noyce: Where did they go?
Bridger: I don't know.
(Later)
Bridger: Let's have some security for the Secretary, and rent all the rooms around her and on the floors above and below. All right?
UEO Security: Yes, sir. (leaves with Dre)
Hitchcock: (coming over) What happened?
Bridger: Good question. Get me a vid-link to the seaQuest.
Hitchcock: Where's Lucas?
Bridger: That's another good question.
(Press Conference - Outside Resort)
Reporter #5: Mr. Lamm, was there an earthquake?
Reporter #6: What's happening?
Reporter #7: What's going on?
Lamm: As with any new facility, these incidents, although unfortunate, have to be expected. The Mondial Resort is a state-of-the-art complex. Sometimes, you don't know if the toaster oven works until you plug it in.
Reporter #1: So this has nothing to do with the UEO Summit?
Lamm: Of course not.
Reporter #2: Mr. Lamm, does terrorism present a concern? Could this have been an attempt to disrupt the summit?
Lamm: It was a malfunction of our environmental control systems.
Reporter #3: So sabotage isn't a consideration?
Lamm: No, but your rooms might be a little warm until we get the air conditioning back on.
UEO Security: Ladies and gentlemen, please, security isn't a concern. I assure you, the summit will continue as scheduled.
Reporter #4: We have heard a number of unaffiliated confederations have gone on military alert.
Lamm: I'm a business man. You'll have to ask Secretary Dre. Excuse me.
(Hallway)
(Lamm exits an elevator, Bridger comes over.)
Bridger: Mr. Lamm, Captain Bridger.
Lamm: Yes, sir.
Bridger: You have any idea what's happening here?
Lamm: I wish I knew.
Bridger: But this is your resort. People are disappearing from your conference room.
Lamm: That much I know, Captain. This is hardly the kind of incident I want associated with the grand opening of a billion dollar resort.
Bridger: Well I'm sure it isn't, but, uh, we have to find them. Now, I'd like to see the blueprints for this entire complex.
Lamm: I can't do that. My complex is based on revolutionary principles in undersea architecture. It is not for public review.
Bridger: I see. Well, either I see the blueprints, or we'll have to investigate you personally. And I don't think that's something you want to read in the travel section of the Sunday paper. Make the call, Mr.Lamm. (enters elevator)
(Lamm pulls out phone and dials.)
Guy: (on phone) Yes, sir.
Lamm: (into phone) Get Captain Bridger the blueprints. And leak it to the press, the UEO leadership is missing.
(Fake Conference Room)
Secretary Dre: (enters) I've put the UEO military on global alert.
Bridger: Isn't that a bit premature, Madame Secretary?
Noyce: Nathan, Andrea's already told us that some of the unaffiliated regions have already gone on military maneuvers.
Bridger: I understand that, but the UEO goes into a crisis mode, it only encourages them to increase their activity.
Secretary Dre: Our satellites have observed at least two more unaffiliated regions operating military maneuvers.
Bridger: But how do they know what's going on here?
Secretary Dre: Look, I'm the head of the UEO, and my responsibilities are to keep world peace. I'm not gonna cover this up.
Bridger: But we don't know what's going on here. We don't even have the bigger picture.
Secretary Dre: I'm going to take whatever steps necessary to ensure world order.
Bridger: Order is not going to be served by telling everybody we've misplaced the world leadership.
Secretary Dre: I won't debate this.
Noyce: Andrea, Captain Bridger just wants you to explain your strategy.
Secretary Dre: I have no strategy. I have eight confederation heads missing.
Bridger: And one sixteen year old boy.
(Real Conference Room)
Lamm: (on screen) I am sure you are all confused, and somewhat frightened. But let me assure you that you are safe … for now. At the appropriate time, each of you will sign an amended UEO Constitution detailing trade agreements and free enterprise. (books come out from under screen) The confederations will be re-aligned to support the former world economic opportunities, allowing industry to function, without current UEO restraint.
President Chi: And if we don't?
Lamm: (on screen) Than you can stay down there, President Chi. No one knows where you are. (screen goes blank)
(Fake Conference Room)
UEO Security: All readings are normal, sir, can't find anything. They seem to have just disappeared.
Bridger: Thank you. I want everyone out of this room. You can post some guards at the entrance.
UEO Security: We're done here, everyone out. Smith, Williams, place a guard unit at the door.
Soldier: Right away, sir.
Hitchcock: Vid-link is operational, sir, and there is a channel secured.
(seaQuest DSV - Ward Room)
Bridger: (on screen) I want the entire resort complex searched within a fifty mile radius above and below the surface. Doctor, try to determine if geology had anything to do with the explosion.
Westphalen: Right.
Ford: What's going on, sir?
Bridger: (on screen) We seem to be in the process of manufacturing an international crisis. (screen goes blank)
Ford: Stage five alert. Activate laser and infrared sensors at standard HL norms. All sonar systems operational, spec range, fifty miles.
Crocker: What are we looking for, Commander?
Ford: We're lookin' for Lucas.
Crocker: Aye, sir. (leaves)
(Mondial Resort - Real Conference Room)
Lucas: You see that? Look at that. That's condensation, it forms in a closed environment from the moisture in our systems when we exhale. You know, kinda like when the car windows fog up during the winter.
Head #4: What are you trying to say?
Lucas: I don't think we're connected to the ventilation system any more. Take a look at this. (He opens the blinds. The others are amazed to see rock.) I think we're somewhere, under the resort.
(Fake Conference Room)
Secretary Dre: (enters) Rumors are running through the press, the confederation's leadership are missing. There's a press conference scheduled in two hours, if we can't produce them by then, I've gotta prepare a statement. Call Washington, notify the President. (leaves)
Noyce: Yes, Madame Secretary. You want in on this?
Bridger: No, no, that's your job, and the boss.
Noyce: You're doing the best you can, Nathan.
Bridger: So far, it ain't enough, is it?
Noyce: Hello, General.
General: (on screen) We have no information to support any unaffiliated regions going on alert, Admiral. Fact is, the only regions going on alert are in response to what's happening at the summit.
Noyce: How bad is it?
General: (on screen) It's getting critical. I don't know who let this fly out of the jar, but we've got red lights flashing everywhere.
Noyce: How are the UEO confederations?
(As Noyce and the General talk Bridger walks over to the podium. He stands there for a minute and then runs his hand on the underside of the stand. When he feels nothing, he stoops down to look.)
General: (on screen) As confused as the rest of us. But they'll stay in place a lot longer than the unaffiliates, but you have to find their leaders. The confederations aren't going to stay rudderless for long.
Noyce: Thank you, General. (screen goes blank)
Bridger: Nobody disappeared from here.
Noyce: What?
Bridger: This is a different room.
Noyce: How could that be?
Bridger: Remember Lucas's gum? He put it under the podium before he started to speak.
Noyce: So?
Bridger: The gum isn't there. This is a different room.
Part Two