Storyteller

(Study – Night)
(Classical violin music plays as the camera pans across the room. Show a wall full of shelves stuffed with leather-bound books, a desk full of trinkets of interest, such as skulls, quills, chemical bottles, an hourglass, and a comic book laid open on a pedestal. A Star Wars poster hangs on the wall, with action figures displayed on a shelf in front of it. There's a fire in the fireplace beneath an elaborate mantelpiece, over which hangs an anime poster and tribal masks. Pan over to Andrew who's sitting in a leather wing chair wearing a silk smoking jacket, holding a pipe in his right hand and an open book in his left. He's reading the book.)
Andrew: (looks up from his reading, chuckles) Oh, hello, there, gentle viewers. (closes his book) You caught me catching up on an old favorite. (pats the book) It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? (puts his hand to his chin) Adventure and heroics and discovery—don't they just take you away? (puffs on the pipe, but it makes him cough, so he sets it down in the crystal tray beside his chair) Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call: Buffy, Slayer of the Vampires.

(Cemetery – Night)
(Buffy's patrolling the cemetery, and she hears something suspicious.)
Andrew: (vo) It was cold last night, and the wind was crew-ell, but the Slayer had a job to do. (A vampire attacks her from behind, but she flips onto a tombstone and shoots him with a stake from her crossbow. He explodes into dust, but another vampire goes for her.) Unfortunately, vampires have a job to do, too.
(She backflips off of the tombstone and lands on the ground, ready to fight him in hand-to-hand combat. He pushes her against a tomb. )

(Study)
Andrew: Ouch! My goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready— (there's a knock at the door; Andrew ignores it) ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn.

(Summers Residence – Upstairs Bathroom – Day)
(Andrew's sitting on the closed toilet seat, talking to a camcorder.)
Andrew: Let's rejoin them now to see—
Anya: (opens the door) For God's sakes, Andrew. You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
Andrew: Entertaining and educating.
Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
(Andrew stares at her with an uncomfortable smile.)

(Cemetery – Night)
(Resume the fight between Buffy and the vampire. The vampire charges her, but she has a stake ready. Andrew was filming them from behind a nearby grave.)
Andrew: (runs up to Buffy, video camera in hand) That was great. I completely got you dusting that guy on film. Hey, why do vampires show up on video?
Buffy: (shown through the camcorder) I told you I didn't want you doing that. It's distracting. (walks away)
Andrew: (still taping, he walks beside her) OK, I'll cut the footage together and do the intro tomorrow. "She was a woman in danger, or was she?"
Buffy: Are you still filming me? Stop!
Andrew: But it's a valuable record. An important document for the ages. "A Slayer in action."
Buffy: (leans toward Andrew) "A nerd in pain." Would they like that? 'Cause we could do that. (walks away)

(Summers Residence – Hallway – Day)
(Anya is dragging Andrew out of the bathroom by his collar. Meanwhile, there's at least three girls lined up outside the bathroom door.)
Andrew: But the story needs to be told.
Anya: (lets go of him) Birds need to fly, and girls need to use the toilet, and why were you video taping yourself, anyway? Sounds like kinky business to me.
Andrew: The world's gonna want to know about Buffy. It's a story of ultimate triumph tainted with the bitterness for what's been lost in the struggle. It's a legacy for future generations.
Anya: If there are any. Buffy seems to think that this apocalypse is going to actually be, you know, apocalyptic. I think your—your story seems pretty pointless.
Andrew: Oh, (looks away) I was gonna interview you later today, (stands close to Anya, looking in her eyes) 'cause, you know, your whole perspective on the whole thing. Give it editorial balance and, uh, (cocks his head to the side, looks at her) glamour...
Anya: (looks pensive, nods) Oh, well balance is important. People don't always take that into account. I could bring that to you. Absolutely.

(Basement)
(Viewed in "Play" mode on the camcorder, Andrew's in the basement standing in front of the "Big Board" holding the remote control for the video camera. It's propped up on the washer and dryer, and has been erased and redrawn since last episode. Now, it's got a flaming red face in the upper right quadrant, a depiction of a group of 5 harbingers in the lower right quadrant, a drawing of a building in the upper left quadrant, and a fiery mess with a black hole and a brown monster are in the lower left. Andrew comes off as a novice presenter, fidgeting and stuttering frequently.)
Andrew: Let's explore the world of our story, shall we? This—uh, Buffy lives in Sunnydale, California. (moves to the side so the whole board can be seen, uses the remote to zoom the camera in as he points to the building with a marker) Um, this is the local high school. (The video cuts to a zoomed-in shot of the lower left quadrant of the board. It's labeled "HELLMOUTH" and has a depiction of the seal (in black) and the brown monster drawn coming from the seal is labeled "UBERVAMP.") There's a Hellmouth—Hellmouth—underneath the high school. See, weird things happen on the Hellmouth (zoom out) that attracts all sorts of, uh, bad people and demons and vampires. And now there's this thing in the basement of the high school called the-the seal of Danzal—Danzalthar, and it's sort of a door to the Hellmouth. (stands in front of the board, nervously) Uh, due to some circumstances it got opened up... a little bit... recently...uh, and this, uh, nasty, nasty vampire thing came out of it. It was, uh, it was just awful, awful. This whole thing— (gestures in a circle with the marker) whole thing—is being orchestrated by something called "The First". It's made up of all the evil in the whole world. Oh, there's also these guys. (points to the harbingers) They work for the First. We don't know much about them except that they're very ugly and they're very mobile for blind people. Is that all clear?

(Kitchen)
(Andrew, with camcorder in hand, is video taping activity in the kitchen. The room is full of people.)
Andrew: It's morning in Sunnydale—
Rona: (looking in the fridge) Who the hell's got the low-fat milk?
Andrew: It's morning in Sunnydale, and the women of command central take the time to fortify themselves for the day ahead.
(Kennedy and Willow pours themselves each a bowl of cereal. Xander, who is eating cereal from the box, scowls at Andrew.)
Xander: Hey!
Andrew: Women and Xander. (puts the camera down for a moment) Hey, I'm gonna do your special intro later. "The man who is the heart of the slayer machine."
Xander: (smiles) Yeah? The heart? (blushes)
Andrew: (recording again, walks around the room) Things are tense in command central this morning. Buffy is clearly concerned with some unknown danger, and the air is filled with foreboding.
Dawn: (drying dishes) Oh, um, we're out of Raisin Bran.
Anya: I'll put it on the list.
Andrew: That's probably not the unknown danger.
Spike: (walks into the kitchen) Look at this place. Damn girls' dorm is what it is. (lights up a cigarette)
Dawn: That's nice. Second-hand stinkiness.
Andrew: Full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?
Amanda: (standing in front of Andrew, she waves and talks into the camera) I'm Amanda, and I grew up right here—
Andrew: (looks up from the camera) Not you, sweetheart. (mouths "sorry" to Amanda) Let's start from the top.
(Andrew narrates while the video shown is in a super-produced ultra-glamorous style.)
Andrew: (vo) You've already met Buffy. (Buffy gracefully pours herself a bowl of cereal, and shakes her hair sexily in the breeze that comes from nowhere, and looks directly into the camera.) She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and— (Buffy winks.) and the face of an Angel. She's never afraid 'cause she knows her side will always win. (A shirtless Spike enters view, walking up to Buffy; they look as if they will kiss, but don't; instead, he touches her waist, and Buffy touches his arms as they nearly embrace.) Buffy and Spike have some kind of history—you can feel the heat between them. Although, technically, as a vampire, he's room temperature. (Flits sexily into view, crossing in front of Spike and Buffy, twirling and eating from a bunch of grapes, then smiling into the camera.) Anya, a feisty waif with a firey temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides, even from herself. (camera pans over to a blonde girl eating from a bowl of cereal) This lovely girl—I don't remember her name—
Buffy: (to Xander) Oh, for God's sake. Is he doing that again? Can't we make him stop?
Rona: I don't know, if we save the world, it will be kind of nice to have a record of it. (Buffy rolls her eyes.)
Amanda: If we don't save the world, then... nothing matters.
Kennedy: (pauses in her breakfast, spoon still in hand) That's catchy, Amanda. Let's make that our slogan.
Xander: Yeah, it is kinda strange, how you keep saving the world, and there's not any proof.
Anya: Yeah, you know, for future generations.
Willow: And it does help the girls with training—you know, viewing the tapes.
Buffy: Come on. No one else thinks this is idiotic?
Xander: Or is it important? I mean, Buff, I don't get why this is bothering you so much.
Buffy: Because it's a waste of time. Come on, someone has to agree with me. Spike?
Spike: Long as you're not pointing that thing at me, seems like a fine way to keep the boy busy.
Buffy: This isn't about keeping busy. This is about war. I'm sorry to jump all over you guys, but... I have to tell you what's really going on. There's something new. (Andrew walks around behind Buffy.) Amanda, Dawn—you're gonna stay home from school today. We can survive what's coming, but not like this. (Andrew goes into the dining room, but Buffy continues talking.) I had a vision of what's to come—a horrible vision. Hundreds upon hundreds of....

(Dining Room)
(While Buffy talks in the other room, Andrew sets the video camera on the dining room table and talks to it.)
Andrew: Honestly, gentle viewers, these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long. I'll take you back in there in—in a little while, but in the in-between time, I thought you might want to know a little about me, your humble host. You see, I am a man with a burden. A man with a dark past. You see, I was once a super villain.

(Evil Workshop – Day)
(A chemistry laboratory has been set up on the table, complete with bubbling colored liquids in an elaborate set of interconnected tubes, vials and beakers. Ultra-suave Andrew, in a black suit, black shirt, and black tie, is talking to geeky Jonathan and Warren, who are dressed in jeans and t-shirts and protective eye goggles.)
Andrew: Thus the validity of the Bronsted-Debye-Huckel equation at low ionic strength has been amply tested, and the charges on the reactant ions are well-known, if their reagents are properly characterized.
Jonathan: (looks at Andrew) It smells funny.
Andrew: (looks at Jonathan)I know, kinda sweaty. (looks at the camera, squints)
(All three men turn around at once. Warren and Jonathan flank Andrew.)
Warren: What'll it do to Buffy?
Andrew: Make her super magnetic! (gestures emphatically with two fists)
Jonathan: Wow, she won't be able to get out of her car.
Warren: And knives and other sharp things will fly at her. (gestures like the knives)
Andrew: We could walk right by her, and she wouldn't be able to stop us.
Warren: (takes off his goggles, looks worried) Unless we were wearing metal belt buckles, then we would stick to her.
Andrew: In my plan, we are beltless.
Jonathan: (takes off goggles) Wow, you're the best, Andrew.
(Andrew looks sexily into the camera as Warren and Jonathan fawn over him.)
Warren: Yep, and good-looking and smart too.
Jonathan: Yeah, wow.

(Summers Residence – Dining Room)
Andrew: (looking into the camera) Warren was cool. And wasn't Jonathan just the cutest thing? Well, shall we see if Buffy's still talking?
(Points the camera toward the kitchen. Buffy's back is in view, and Willow can be seen facing Buffy. Willow yawns.)
Buffy: I mean mentally. And from what I've seen so far, there's is no way your girls are ready. You have to...
Andrew: She's not done. Even Willow looks bored, and she usually can take a lot of that stuff. Look at her. (Kennedy walks up to Willow and cuddles while Buffy's talking.) Ooh, ooh, do you see that? That-that's important. Willow and Kennedy have been in kind of a bad place lately, but things are looking up. You see, Kennedy pursued the reluctant Willow and won her heart, only to find herself frightened when she glimpsed the darkness that still lies within the witch's mind. Side note—I once had my own personal encounter with Dark Willow.

(Flashback – Andrew’s Version)
(The Magic Box – Night)
(Andrew and Jonathan are having a face-off with Dark Willow.)
Dark Willow: Jonathan, Andrew, you boys like magic, don't you? Abracadabra!
(Willow holds her hands out toward Jonathan and Andrew, and black light shoots out of her palms toward them. A panicked Jonathan hides behind cool, calm Andrew.)
Jonathan: (screams in fright) Yee!
Andrew: Haltem!
Dark Willow: OK, didn't see that coming.
Andrew: That's because we have power you can't imagine.
Jonathan: (still hiding behind Andrew) We do?
Andrew: You, Dark Willow, wield a force of mighty evil, it's true. But you are new to the game, little one.
Dark Willow: You know what they say. If at first, you don't succeed...
Jonathan: Holy cats! Here it comes again.
Andrew: (calmly waves his hand) I deflect thy power.
Dark Willow: Damn, that is one effective counter spell.
Andrew: Thank you, little one. Thank you.

(Summers Residence – Dining Room – Day)
Andrew: She was something. Indeed she was. Hey, I think Buffy stopped talking. That usually means she had to go to work. Let's see what the little locusts left for breakfast, shall we?

(Sunnydale High – Hallway – Day)
(Buffy walks into the school, talking to herself. There's a lot of commotion in the hallway.)
Buffy: (to herself) Not late. Not late 'til the bell rings. (Looks up to see two boys fighting, goes to break them up.) Hey! Hey! (Stands between them, pushing them apart.) Break it up! (bell rings) Get to class. (They go separate ways; Buffy looks down the hall.) Uh-oh. (A girl is fading away in front of the lockers, Buffy goes up to her.) Hey, shy girl, don't do this. Oh... (Buffy slaps the girl.)
Shy Girl: (astonished) You knew I was there.
Buffy: Yeah.
Shy Girl: You noticed me.
Buffy: It's OK, I promise. It may seem ba— (A girl comes out of the bathroom beside the lockers where Buffy's standing; the girl is sobbing.) Wh-wh-what's wrong?
Crying Girl: The mirror said I was fat. It said it. (walks off crying)
(Buffy watches the crying girl walk off, and her attention is pulled to another conversation where a stressed boy is venting to his friends.)
Stressed Out Boy: I'm so—I can't take this semester anymore. It's just so much for me to handle. So, not only does Mr. Hildebrand move up the trig exam to today, but he also makes it cover three more chapters. And I've got an English paper due tomorrow. I feel like I'm gonna explode.
Buffy: (walks up to the boy) Hey, uh, I can help. You just need to relax, you know? (to his friends) You know, um, maybe one of you guys could give him a foot rub?
Stressed Out Boy: What?

(Office)
(Buffy walks into the office area, only to see Principal Wood standing next to the front desk holding an ice pack to his head.)
Buffy: Something bad is going on.
Robin: Oh, is that right?
Buffy: (sits) Ooh, you're hurt. What happened?
Robin: Someone threw a rock at me as I got out of my car. I didn't really get a good chance to see who.
Buffy: (takes a bandage from the first-aid kit on the desk and unwraps it) Yeah, well, it could have been any of them. Students, teachers—something is going on today.
Robin: Yes, well, um, that occurred to me as I ducked the other two rocks. Buffy, what the hell is this?
Buffy: (puts the bandage on Wood's brow) Everything.
Robin: Slowly, I may be concussed here.
Buffy: (shakes her head) There this thing that happens here, in this school, over the hell mouth. Where the way a thing feels—it kind of starts being that way...for real. I've seen all these things before...just not all at once.
Robin: So, what, it's like hell's a bustin' out all over?
Buffy: Exactly.
(Insert a clip of Andrew standing in front of the "Big Board" tapping a marker against the drawing of the Hellmouth and nodding.)
Robin: So, what's the worst that can happen?
Buffy: War, pretty much.
Robin: Oh, I see you're being amusing now with comical exaggeration.
Buffy: Being in high school can feel like being at war. Now it's true. The students feel like the teachers are out to get them. The Chess Club resents the French Club for taking the activities room, and, well, everybody hates the cheerleaders. If we don't do something about this, we're gonna have a riot on our hands. And a lot of other nasty stuff too.
Robin: Like what?
(A boy in the hallway screams, increasingly louder, until he explodes off screen, leaving bloody residue splattered all over the outside of the office window.)
Buffy: (looks sadly out the window) Really should have had that foot rub.

(Summers Residence – Dining Room)
(Andrew's video-taping Dawn, who's sitting at the table, studying, amid a half-dozen pizza boxes.)
Andrew: Dawn is a typical American teenager. Bubbly and sweet with a hunger for fun and a smile that lights up the room.
Dawn: (blushes, waves) Hello.
Andrew: Dawn used to be a key. (zooms to keys on the table) I don't really know what that means.

(Living Room)
(Through the camera lens, show Andrew entering the living room. Willow and Kennedy are sitting on the sofa, kissing.)
Andrew: Hey, here's something I think you're going to be interested in, gentle viewers. (zooms in on the window behind the sofa) Look at the fine work Xander did on that replacing that window sash. You can't even tell it's new, it blends in so well. He's extraordinary.

(Sunnydale High – Office)
(Buffy and Robin are looking at blueprints of the school that are spread out on the table in front of them. Buffy's seated at the table, and Robin is looking over her shoulder.)
Robin: You've dealt with this before? I mean, you've seen stuff like this in a high school?
Buffy: Sure, you know, swim team monsters or killer prom dogs. Again, not all at once.
Robin: So, what makes now so special?
Buffy: My guess—it's that seal thing in the basement. It's like all the hellmouth's energy is trying to escape in that one little spot, and it's getting all—
Robin: Focusy.
Buffy: (looks at Robin) Careful. You're starting to speak like me now.

(Summers Residence – Living Room)
(Andrew's talking into the camera. Anya and Xander are seated on the sofa.)
Andrew: This is Xander and Anya Interview Number 1 for "Buffy, a Slayer of the Vampyrs."
(Andrew sits in the chair across from the sofa, and repositions the camera on the chair arm.)
Anya: That's what you're calling it?
Andrew: Either that or "Buffy, the Slayer Who Knew No Fear."
Xander: I like that one.
Andrew: Thank you, Xander. That's sweet of you. (crosses his legs, gets his notepad out) I understand that exactly one year ago today you left Anya at the altar. Any comment on that?
Xander: Whoa. What the hell?
Andrew: I just think people will be interested.
Anya: I know I am. (looks at Xander) What do you have to say for yourself one year later?
Xander: I've apologized enough, that's what I have to say.
Andrew: But you think it was something that called for an apology?
Xander: Well, yes.
Andrew: So you don't think it was the right thing to do.
Anya: Of course he doesn't think it was the right thing to do. (looks at Xander)
Xander: (looks at Anya) It was the right thing to do.
Anya: What?
Andrew: Interesting. I think we're getting something here.
Xander: Look, Anya, if I had married you, it would have been against everything I thought was best. It wouldn't have worked.
Anya: But we—we still spark. I mean, I get jealous of you. You get jealous of me. You still love me.
Andrew: Is that true, Xander? Do you still love her?

(Sunnydale High – Basement)
(The Seal of Danzalthar is exposed in the dirt floor. Buffy and Robin are walking around the edge of it.)
Buffy: I swear we just covered this thing up.
Robin: It doesn't want to stay hidden anymore. It wants to turn these kids into monsters and victims and who knows what.
Buffy: It's more than that. Look, Robin, I, um, I had a vision the other day.
Robin: You have visions?
Buffy: Sometimes. (nods)
Robin: Oh. Well, how do you know that they're not just dreams?
Buffy: You're running to catch the bus naked? That's a dream. Army of vicious vampire creatures? That's a vision. Also, I was awake.
Robin: A bus to where? I mean, an army of how many?
Buffy: Hundreds. Maybe hundreds of hundreds. All I know is the last UberVamp I faced crawled out of that very hole. (backs up) It makes me awfully nervous. (Robin walks onto the seal) What are you doing?
Robin: Now, have you ever really studied it? You know, gotten close? (kneels on the seal)
Buffy: Well, I know it's a goat with its tongue out. Uh, Willow did a search on the symbolic database, but it turns out everybody loves a good goat's tongue. Rock groups, covens and greek cookbooks. She said she couldn't narrow it down.
Robin: (looks at Buffy) And you trust her?
Buffy: Yes, why wouldn't I trust her?
Robin: I don't know why any of you should trust each other. You've all been evil at some point, right?
Buffy: (shakes her head) No, that's not true. Yeah, Willow had a bad patch, but I've never been.
Robin: (in a deep voice) Evil is what evil does, and I know what you're doing. (stands, looks at Buffy—his eyes are white) You're with that vampire, screwing that vampire. You filthy whore! (charges at Buffy)
Buffy: (dodges Robin, who runs into the wall; Buffy goes to his side) Robin, are you OK?
Robin: (panting) Whoa. What happened?
Buffy: I—I think it was controlling you.
Robin: Buffy, we've got to get rid of this seal. We've got to shut it down before it starts affecting everyone.
Buffy: I think I have a pretty good idea who we should talk to.
Robin: Yeah, who's that?
Buffy: The guy that fed it it's first drop of blood.
(A pink piglet oinks as it runs across the room in front of them.)
Robin: God, I hope that's not a student.

(Summers Residence – Basement)
(Through the lens of the video camera, show Spike yelling at Andrew.)
Spike: (takes the cigarette out of his mouth) I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off (flicks the cigarette at Andrew) before I rip your throat out and eat—
Andrew: OK, Spike. The light was kind of behind you.
Spike: (looks around) Oh, right. Uh, what? Is this better then? I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off?

(Living Room)
(Anya and Xander are sitting on the couch, talking.)
Anya: (arms crossed) You keep dodging the question.
Xander: (leaning forward) I don't mean to. It's just—you know how I feel, right? And you were the one who didn't want to keep seeing each other.
Anya: And here's where we hop on the merry-go-round of rotating knives. I blame you, and you blame me, and we both end up all cut to shreds. Please just tell— Do you still love me?
Xander: (nods) Yes. I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore.
Anya: Well, I love you too. I don't know if that means anything either.
Xander: Well, it's nice to hear. (now show the conversation through the camcorder playback mode) I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am I?
Anya: Doesn't seem likely.
Xander: I guess I'm more replaceable, obviously.
Anya: No. (Andrew is mouthing Anya's words as he watches the tape) There's no one like you, Xander. You were willing to stand up to danger, even when your hands had no weapons. You were ready to protect me with your life.
Xander: Yeah, I guess we fit together pretty good.
Anya: We fit together great.
Xander: You know, sometimes, I want to be back in your life.
Anya: I hope you know you never left my heart.
(Practically in tears, Andrew rewinds the tape.)
Xander: I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am I?
Anya: Doesn't seem likely.
(Buffy storms in through the front door. Robin Wood is with her.)
Buffy: Heads up, Andrew. We've got to talk.
Robin: We just spent the day keeping a lid on a war.
Andrew: (stands) Ooh, that would be very exciting on tape.
Buffy: (crosses arms) The school is out of control with energy from the Hellmouth. It's time for you to help, Andrew.
Andrew: Well, right now, I'm really more about the recording of the—
Buffy: No! No more watching. The seal thing is your baby, and you gotta get in there before it tears everything apart.

(Sunnydale High – Basement)
(Five students enter the room where the seal is located. They kneel in a circle around the seal, and hold their hands over it, chanting in Latin. The seal glows.)

(Mexico – 2002)
(In a dingy apartment Andrew and Jonathan are sharing a bed. They are tossing and turning in thier sleep. As they sleep, a voice speaks in their dreams as images appear, flashing from one to the other rapidly. The whole dream sequence lasts approximately ten seconds.)
Voice: (vo)Desde abajo te devora. Desde abajo te devora.
(The Seal of Danzalthar. A potential slayer fleeing. The Turok-Han climbing out of the ground. A potential slayer fleeing. Spike's ritiualistically cut body bleeding out, suspended from the ceiling. Jonathan and Andrew fleeing Sunnydale. The Turok-Han attacking. A potential slayer fleeing. The potential from Turkey being killed. The Seal of Danzalthar starting to open. Bringer's murdering a potential. The Turok-Han attacking. The Seal of Danzalthar continuing to open. The potential from Turkey dying. The cheese man. (from episode 4x22 "Restless") The Turok-Han. Cheese slices laid out, neatly in a row on a pedestal (as in Willow's dream from "Restless") Bringer's murdering the German potential slayer. The Turok-Han attacking. The Seal of Danzalthar opening, the points of the pentagram folding in. The Turok-Han attacking. Bringer's murdering a potential. The Seal of Danzalthar opening, the pentagram has folded inward, forming a pyramid that sinks into the ground.)
(They both wake, visibly upset from the dreams.)
Jonathan: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Andrew: (Spanish pronunciation) Jesus.
Jonathan: (nearly in tears) Did you have it again? I had it again. That voice...
Andrew: Desme abdo tay deborah. What does it mean? What does it mean?
Jonathan: Let's try looking it up again in the morning in the dictionario. Holy cats, that was terrifying.
Andrew: We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.
Jonathan: We're hunted men, driven mad by forces beyond our understanding.
Andrew: We're men of hidden power, tortured from within by-by a voice from out of nowhere.
Jonathan: I don't deserve this. I wasn't even that evil.
Andrew: I thought you were evil.
Jonathan: (looks at Andrew) Yeah?
Andrew: (they both sit up) Sure. I respected your ideas for evil projects, and I thought you had good follow-through.
Jonathan: Oh, well, thanks. It's nice that you noticed.
Willow: (vo) OK, I think we're getting a little off track here.

(Summers Residence – Living Room)
(Andrew's sitting in a chair, while Willow, Kennedy, Robin Wood, Spike, and Buffy look on.)
Andrew: I don't want to do this anymore. Everyone's staring at me.
Willow: (holding a large, glowing, orange crystal in front of Andrew) Just focus on the charm. You have to focus on the charm to pull the memories out.
Robin: Tell us about the seal.
Andrew: But it tickles, and I'm all tense. Can't I have a cool, refreshing Zima?
Buffy: No Zima.
Spike: Shut your face about the Zima. Just talk.
Buffy: You were the first one to uncover the seal and feed it blood. How did you know it was there? How did you know what to do?
Andrew: I-I don't know. Stuff happened. (shrugs) I forget.
Kennedy: So remember. Look at the charm.
Andrew: But, I—I'm not a part of this. I document, I don't participate. I'm a detached journalist, recording with a neutral eye.
Buffy: Andrew! Stop it, or I'm going to smash this camera over your head. Actually, I'm gonna do that anyway, so you might as well talk.
Willow: Stop going off topic.
Andrew: I wasn't off topic. It's gonna get relevant in a second, because Jonathan's gonna go to the bathroom.

(Dingy Apartment – Mexico – 2002)
(Jonathan and Andrew are talking in bed.)
Jonathan: I'm gonna go to the bathroom. (stands and leaves the room)
Andrew: (singing to himself in bed) La cucaracha. La cucaracha. La la la la la.
(He turns over, and sees Warren/First leaning over him.)
Warren/First: Did you get the knife?
Andrew: (gasps, stands) Oh, Gosh. Gosh, I'm glad to see you.
Warren/First: Me too. You're looking good.
Andrew: (touches his face and chest bashfully) Am I? I...probably have pillow creases.
Warren/First: No, no, it's good. You're a man on the run. You got kind of a wild, desperate thing going. (walks closer to Andrew) Did you, uh, did you get the knife?
Andrew: Yeah. It wasn't easy. I had to meet this demon guy who sells all kinds of weird weapons and stuff.
Warren/First: Yeah, show me.
Andrew: Well, I didn't buy them, but there were poison arrows and this sort of collapsible sword—
Warren/First: Show me the knife!
Andrew: Oh, right. (chuckles, bends to get a box from under the bed)
Warren/First: Quick, before the shortcake comes back.
Andrew: (opens the box and takes out the knife) Oh, it'll be a while. He's got a shy bladder. (calls over toward the bathroom) Jonathan, you OK in there?
Jonathan: (os) Don't talk to me. I'm fine.
Andrew: Pretty knife, except the, uh, the stabbing—I don't—I don't think I can do it. Jonathan has been a good friend to me here in Mehico. He said he'll buy me a burro.
Warren/First: Oh, you can stab him. It's all part of the plan. That boy's blood is a powerful tribute. It's a—it's a gift to something very big, very important, and ultimately, won't even hurt him. We get a reward. You and me and him too.
Andrew: We live as gods.
Warren/First: That's right, man. The trio. (snaps and points) Living as gods.

(Fantasy)
(Andrew, Warren, and Jonathan are dressed in togas, playing harps, and frolicking in the fields of daisies (oversized black-eyed susans and poppies, to be specific). Butterflies flit around and bars of gold lie around in piles. A unicorn runs by them as they dance and sing.)
Andrew: (singing) We are gods. Oh, we are gods. We are as gods. We are as gods!

(Dingy Apartment – Mexico)
Warren/First: There's power in that knife. Drive the words deep into him. It's the only way for us to get our reward.
Andrew: Got it. If I kill him with this knife, we live as gods.

(Summers Residence – Living Room)
Willow: Wait a second. Go back. What was that part again?
Andrew: You mean this part?

(Fantasy)
(Andrew frolics in the field of flowers again, dancing and singing with Jonathan and Warren.)
Andrew: (singing) We are as gods!

(Summers Residence – Living Room)
Willow: Not that part. We need to see that knife. There's something there.
Buffy: Kennedy, search his stuff. Find the knife.
Andrew: It's not in my stuff. It's in the kitchen, in the cutlery drawer. (Kennedy heads for the kitchen.) You didn't have any steak knives.
Willow: You put your old murder weapon in with our utensils?
Andrew: I washed it.
Spike: What are you looking for?
Willow: He said the First said something about words. "Drive the words deep into him."
Andrew: There was some carving on the blade. I just thought it was a pattern.
Kennedy: (comes back in carrying the knife) Found it.
Willow: OK, you're Mr. Demon-Summoner. How are you with demon languages?
Andrew: Whoa, you were right. It's in Tawarick. It's, uh, like proto-Tawarick. It's really, really old.
Kennedy: But, what's the big?
Robin: We never knew anything about this seal. Now, we know this knife and this language are connected to it somehow.
Willow: Andrew, do you speak Tawarick?
Andrew: Yeah, I'm OK with it. It says, "The blood which I spill, I consecrate to the oldest evil."
Kennedy: Creepy.
Buffy: Will, what're you thinking? You think you can do something with that?
Willow: (takes the knife from Andrew, looks closely at the blade) I— let me work on it.

(Night)
(Willow's sitting at the dining room table, using her laptop. Buffy's standing behind her, looking over her shoulder.)
Willow: I think it's got a shot.
(They walk into the living room, where Spike, Robin Wood, and Kennedy are keeping an eye on Andrew.)
Buffy: Guess what, Andy. You just won yourself a free vacation to the beautiful downtown Hellmouth.
Spike: So he can do what? Yell at it in its own language?
Willow: Maybe.
Robin: What? I—I'm not following.
Buffy: Look, we have to deal with the seal right away. We already might have to just shut the school down, and I'm not losing any more territory to the First. Besides, it's the only thing we've got.
Willow: The seal responds to this language somehow, or-or the First wouldn't have needed this knife. Andrew knows the language, can really talk to it, maybe give it commands.
Buffy: Robin, Spike, let's go.

(Sunnydale High – Hallway – Night)
(Spike, Robin Wood, Andrew and Buffy are standing in the hallway, staring. Spike and Buffy have flashlights, and Andrew has his camcorder. The hall has 55-gallon drums with fires in them. Every foot of wall has been spray-painted with phrases like "DIE CHEERLEADERS" and "MARCHING BAND RULES". Lockers are all hanging open.)
Buffy: Riot that almost happened.
Robin: Looks to me like it happened after all.
(Someone throws a glass bottle against a wall, shattering it.)
Spike: Looks to me like it's still happening. (They all walk further into the school.) Nice way to run a school. (looking around) There's got to be kids injured in here.
Robin: Yeah, easy picking for the likes of you, huh?
Spike: (looks at Wood) Hey, here to help, you know.
Robin: (unconvinced) Right.
Andrew: (into his camera) Check out Spike and the Principal. There's something going on there. Sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
(The place is completely trashed. Kids are running around the school making noise. One runs by carrying a hockey stick.)
Spike: (looking around) These kids went nuts, didn't they?
Robin: (sarcastically) No kidding.
Buffy: Shh, they'll hear you.
Robin: Buffy, they're all the way down—
(Some kid hiding around a corner jumps out and hits Robin in the head with a fire extinguisher, but Buffy pulls him away from Robin. Andrew hides as the kids attack. One kid grabs Buffy and carries her off, while another hits Spike over the back with a locker door.)
Buffy: Spike!
Spike: The kids are getting stronger.
Andrew: (running away, still taping) Oh, God. Struck down before I achieve redemption.
(Buffy, Spike, and Wood fight the kids off. Buffy trips one boy, while Wood picks up the locker door to knock another boy down. Spike starts punching one of the boys.)
Buffy: Spike! (he turns to look at Buffy) Don't kill them. They're just students.
Spike: They'll live. (punches the boy again)
(Buffy walks further down the hall and finds the basement entry door.)
Buffy: OK, Spike, Wood. I need you guys to stay here, hold our line of retreat.
Andrew: So, I'll be staying here with these men, helping out that holding the line thing. (Buffy frowns and grabs Andrew's arm.) I'll be with Buffy.

(Basement)
(Buffy and Andrew go down the stairs into the basement.)
Andrew: (videotaping) We make our way down the stairs carefully, alert for any danger.
Buffy: Oh, stop it.
Andrew: I was just—
Buffy: (takes the camera from him) No more. (closes the camera)
Andrew: But I just—I just want the world to see what you do.
Buffy: What I do is too important to show the world.
Andrew: Ooh, I like that.
Buffy: Be quiet! I don't want a biographer, especially a murderer.
Andrew: Yeah, well, see, about that—we just keep tossing that word around, but that's not really what happened.
Buffy: What? You stabbed Jonathan to death. What were you trying to do? Scratch his back from the front?
Andrew: It was confusing. Jonathan and I were digging, but Warren was there, and only I could see him—

(Flashback – Andrew’s Version)
(Andrew and Jonathan are uncovering the seal in the basement while Warren/First watches.)
Andrew: Not one of them cares about you.
Jonathan: But I care about them. That's why I'm here.
Warren/First: Do it. Stab him.
Andrew: No, I can't do it.
Jonathan: (stops digging) What?
Warren/First: Do it now.
Andrew: This isn't right.
Warren/First: Stab him. Spill the blood.
Jonathan: Who are you talking to? What isn't right?
Warren/First: What's wrong with you? Are you a little coward?
Andrew: No, but did you actually think I could use this? (pulls out the knife)
Warren/First: That good.
Jonathan: A knife?
Warren/First: Just do it. It'll feel good.
Jonathan: What's going on?
Andrew: He's making me do it.
Jonathan: (angrily) You tricked me. Damn you! I'll kill you first. (charges Andrew) I'll kill you!
Warren/First: Stab him! You have to! If you fail, you'll die a lost soul, and I'll hate you forever!
(Andrew and Jonathan fight, and Andrew accidentally stabs Jonathan.)
Andrew: (crying) No! (holds his hands up to the sky)

(Basement – Present)
Andrew: See, I'm a man trapped by circumstances into paying for a crime I didn't even— (Buffy mumbles) What?
Buffy: No, I just thought you would say that. I saw the seal possess Wood like that earlier today.
Andrew: Yes. Yes. See...

(Flashback – Andrew’s Other Version)
(Andrew and Jonathan are uncovering the seal in the basement.)
Jonathan: That's why I'm here.
Andrew: (turns toward Jonathan, white-eyed, possessed, stabs Jonathan) Die. (stabs him again) Die! (stabs him again) Die! (looks up and sees Warren/First watching them, looks at the bloody knife) What have I done? (screaming) Get out of my brain!!! Aaaah!

(Basement – Present)
Buffy: You just completely changed your entire story.
Andrew: Did not.
Buffy: Uh, ya did too.
Andrew: Did—uh, hey, here we are.
(There's chanting from the room with the seal in it.)
Buffy: There's someone in there. No. We're going in. Just be prepared, OK? The seal could have done anything to them. Go.

(Room of the Seal)
(Buffy and Andrew go into the seal room and see the five kids that were chanting there before have now become Bringers, complete with the self-mutilation of the eyes. They all turn to face Buffy.)
Buffy: Nope, they're OK.

(Summers Residence – Basement)
(Xander and Anya are lying in bed together naked on a cot in the basement. Candles are lit around the room. They both seem out of breath.)
Xander: Wow.
Anya: Wow, wow.
Xander: That was nice.
Anya: Certainly was, you carpenter you.
Xander: It's too bad Buffy took Spike's chains down, huh?
Anya: You said it.
Xander: Mmm, I feel good.
Anya: Well, yeah. I'm a spitfire in the bedroom.
Xander: Yeah, I knew we'd always do that again.
Anya: Yeah, one more time anyway.
Xander: Is that what that was? (looks at Anya) One more time?
Anya: Do you think there should be more?
Xander: I don't know. It was nice. It felt, um—it felt like a one more time.
Anya: I think maybe we're really over. Which is—it's good, right? I mean, now we can move on.
Xander: Sure.

(Sunnydale High – Hallway)
(Spike and Wood are still guarding the basement door. Spike's rummaging around through the debris.)
Spike: Wonder what's keeping 'em. I thought they'd be up here by now. (picks up a 2x4 with a dozen nails sticking out of it) How'd they make this in here, you suppose? (tosses it to Robin)
Robin: Wood shop, I guess. It's nice to know they're paying attention in class.
(Some kids jump Spike and Wood, starting a fight. While fighting them off, Wood splinters the 2x4, breaking a shard off of it. Wood picks up the wood fragment and eyes Spike, whose back it toward him as he fights off one of the boys. Wood charges at Spike, wielding the makeshift stake, intending to kill Spike, but one of the boys intercepts Wood and knocks him off balance. )

(Basement)
(The seal is glowing. Buffy fights off the new Bringers in the basement. Andrew grabs the camcorder to videotape the fight.)
Andrew: (narrating) She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It's like the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because there is no alternative.
Buffy: (knocks out the last Bringer) It's your turn, Andrew. (pulls out the knife, and walks toward Andrew) Andrew: (walks away from Buffy, around the seal) So, you figure, what? I, uh... (puts down the camcorder) I stand on the seal, and hold the knife, and command it to stop glowing in Tawarick?
(Buffy and Andrew are opposite each other across the seal. They are walking in circles as Buffy tries to approach Andrew, he tries to maintain his distance.)
Buffy: Or we could do this?
Andrew: What?
Buffy: Doesn't really make sense, does it? Bringing you here to talk to it. This thing doesn't understand words, it understands blood.
Andrew: (nervous) Blood opens it. You don't want to open it. Opening it would be bad.
Buffy: (flips the knife) Yeah, Willow did a little research. Turns out, the blood of the person that awoke it—you—different kind of deal. It reverses the whole thing.
Andrew: So, how much blood...are you gonna—
Buffy: I don't know. Maybe not enough to kill you.
Andrew: (faces her, but still backs away) So, this is my redemption at last? I buy back my bruised soul with the blood of my heart. But-but not enough to kill—
Buffy: (standing right in front of him now, pointing the knife at him) Stop! Stop telling stories. Life isn't a story.
Andrew: (frightened) Sorry. Sorry.
Buffy: Shut up. You always do this. You make everything into a story so no one's responsible for anything because they're just following a script.
Andrew: Please don't kill me. Warren said Jonathan would be OK. I trusted him, and I lost my friend.
Buffy: (angrily) You didn't lose him. You murdered him.
Andrew: (softly, sincerely) I know, but you don't need to kill me. You said we could all get through this.
Buffy: I made it up. I'm making it all up. What kind of hero does that make me?
Andrew: (shakes his head) No, you're doing great. Really. Kudos.
Buffy: Yeah? Well, I don't like having to give a bunch of speeches about how we're all gonna live, because we won't. This isn't some story where good triumphs because good triumphs. Good people are going to die! Girls. Maybe me. Probably you. Probably right now.
Andrew: (shakes his head, frightened) Don't! Please! Don't, please!
(Buffy pushes him toward the seal; he leans over it, but she's holding the back of his jacket so he doesn't fall. She's pointing the knife at him.)
Buffy: When your blood pours out, it might save the world. What do you think about that? Does it buy it all back? Are you redeemed?
Andrew: (crying) No.
Buffy: Why not?
Andrew: (sobbing, his face is tear-streaked) Because I killed him. Because I listened to Warren, and I pretended I thought it was him, but I knew—I knew it wasn't. And I killed Jonathan. And now you're gonna kill me. And I'm scared, and I'm going to die. And this—this is what Jonathan felt. (As Andrew's tears flow, a tear droplet falls from his face onto the seal below. It immediately stops glowing. Buffy lets Andrew go. He falls to the ground and puts the knife down.) It stopped.
Buffy: Didn't want blood. It wanted tears.
Andrew: (stands) Thanks.
Buffy: Sorry, I had to—
Andrew: You—you weren't really going to stab me, were you?
Buffy: I wasn't going to stab you.
Andrew: What if the tears didn't work?
(Buffy walks out of the room. Andrew grabs his camcorder and follows her.)

(Hallway)
(Robin and Spike are fighting students, but suddenly the students stop fighting back. Instead, they just walk away.)
Robin: She got it done.
Spike: Always has.
Robin: So far.

(Summers Residence – Bathroom)
(Through the camera lens, show Andrew sitting on the closed toilet seat, recording himself as before.)
Andrew: Here's the thing. I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming, and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even think I'm going to live through it. (looks down) That's, uh, probably the way it should be. I guess I'm—
(He looks at the camera, sighs, points the remote control, presses a button, and turns it off.)


Season Seven Guide