A change for the better

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox.  No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: This is technically my second attempt
at fanfic, but I didn't like the first one. This one turned out
acceptable, so I decided to submit it. It takes place after "Helpless",
before "The Zeppo". (I did *not* wanna deal with that Faith disgusting-ness)
It starts out as a friendship reconciliation piece, but then turns
into more. : ) Feedback is definitely encouraged, just no flames,
I already realize it isn't the best fanfic ever, and I'm fragile.
: ) I've decided this is the end of it, but there will definitely
be a sequel. : ) Thoughts are enclosed in < >. One more thing, it
starts off rather abruptly, sorry about that. Enjoy!

They were just quietly studying alone in the library
one day, when it just happened. They weren't even sure how it started
but, it escalated into a full out argument in no time.

"You know what? You picked Oz! We could've had
something, but you picked him!"

"Had something? What? A hormone based relationship?
I wasn't about to end a stable relationship for a fling with you!"

"A fling? You think I just risked my relationship
with Cordy for a little fling? No, I happen to like you... a lot!"
< I can't believe I just admitted that. >

"Like me a lot?! You hardly knew I was a girl before
that! Is that how you usually treat people you like?!" She was letting
out some of her years of pent up angst in this one argument.

"You know what? I admit it, I'm an idiot! I never
noticed you until you were with Oz and ended up wrecking my relationship
with Cordy and almost wrecking yours with Oz. That was...I don't
know rude of me...but, you know what? I wouldn't change any of it,
because those few stolen moments were the best thing that happened
to me!" < No, No, NO...I didn't just say that out loud. >

Willow was speechless. Her anger was almost completely
gone with those heartfelt words... almost. < Best thing that happened
to him? That's so sweet... NO, I'm not gonna get all mushy now...
stay angry... angry. > She looked up at him, but he quickly looked
away. After a few awkward moments she got up the courage to speak.
"Wh... what do you mean best thing that happened to you?"

"Well... umm... you know, it made me realize...
uhh... how much you mean to me and how special you are and... stuff."
< Could this moment get any more awkward? >

"Oh." She was even more speechless than she was
a minute ago. < So... I'm special to him... what does that mean? >

"Well, I gotta go." He quickly grabbed his books
and prepared to make a hasty exit.

"Wait! You can't just leave! We were in the middle of a conversation!"

"Yeah. And it was basically over. I said how much
you mean to me and you basically said I was a jerk... all is right
with the world." Self-deprecating humor was the only way he could
think of to get out of this conversation.

"That's not fair. And I didn't say you were a jerk, I said..."

"That I was a blind jerk who overlooked your feelings for so long?"

"No! Stop saying all this!" The emotions of the
whole argument were catching up to her now, and she was on the verge of tears.

Noticing her emotion, he immediately regretted
his words. "Will, I'm sorry. I just... I don't know. Sorry." He
didn't know what to say. The only thing he wanted to do was take
her pain away and knowing he caused it, was making his own emotional
state worse. He was also on the verge of tears, a situation that he was utterly surprised at.

"No, it's okay. It's not your fault." The tears were falling now.

"No that's just it, it is my fault. You're my best
friend, yet I keep causing you all this pain. I don't deserve to
even have you as a friend." He was now crying, but trying his best
to hold the tears in. It wasn't working that well.

"Don't say that." Her voice cracked, trying to
speak her next thought. "I couldn't be... me... without our friendship."
She stopped, beginning to cry even more at all the emotions flowing through the room.

Xander finally gave into his urge to comfort her.
< To hell with the no-touching rule. > He crossed over to her and
wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug. He gently shushed her,
rocking her slowly. She gave into the hug, wrapping her arms around
him in return. They stood that way for a few minutes until their
tears subsided. They reluctantly backed away from each other after
revelling in each other's comforting embrace. He looked deeply into
her tear-stained eyes, "Better?" He asked tenderly.

"Yeah. That was... therapeutic I guess." She smiled
slightly. He smiled brightly in return. Then they once again found
themselves in a hug, only to be interrupted by a returning slayer.

"Ahem." Buffy said, the slightest trace of a smirk
on her face. They pulled apart to look at the chosen one.

"Hi Buffy!" Willow said cheerfully without any
hint of guilt, squelching any thoughts Buffy was having about them
being more than friends... again.

"Hey Buff. How'd the patrol go?" Xander said as
equally cheerful and guilt-free as Willow.

"Oh good. Dusted two vamps," she stated, coming
further into the library. "How was everything here?" She asked in
her subtle ‘I'm-the-slayer-tell-me-what-was-going-on-or-I-hurt-someone' voice.

"Oh good. Me and Xan were just working out some
of our issues." Willow replied, once again squelching Buffy's Willow/Xander romance thoughts.

"That's good." Buffy replied, smiling. She knew
her two best friends needed each other and needed to admit that
fact to themselves, and to each other. They also probably needed
a good make out sesh, but that was just her opinion.
"So, you're back to best buds again?"

They looked at each other, and nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I guess. We still got some stuff to work out, but we're almost
back to best buds again," Xander stated happily. Actually, overjoyed
was more the word. They both smiled brightly, knowing that their friendship was back on track.


***************************************************************************


A week later...

Preferably a girlfriend, but Buffy was out slaying a big ol' evil.
Willow was distraught. She had just gotten her friendship back with
Xander and now this. Oz had just broken up with her. She couldn't
believe it. He said even though he loved her, she could never really
be happy with him and he had to let her go. She had tried and tried
to get him to say where all this was coming from all of a sudden,
but he just said it was better this way. She was walking back from
his house, hoping to run into Buffy. No such luck. She really needed
to talk to someone, so she decided to go to who else, Xander.

She got to his house and knocked on the door. She
heard some noises inside... fight noises... and she hoped she wasn't
interrupting at a really, really bad time. After a few seconds Xander
answered the door. It was apparent his parents were having an argument.
Argument being a very mild way of putting it. He quickly pulled
the door shut behind him, stepping out onto the porch.

"Hi Xan.
I was just wondering if we could talk?"

"Sure. What about?" He steered her away from the
house and they started walking down the street.

"Me and Oz... we... he broke up with me today."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Will. Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I just... don't know what
happened. One day we're fine and dandy, the next he breaks up with
me." She could feel tears beginning to form.

"What reason did he give you?"

"He just said I could never really be happy with
him and he had to let me go. What kind of reason is that?" The tears started falling.

Xander stopped walking and looked at her. "I don't
know," he said while gently brushing her tears away. "I mean if
I was Oz and I broke up with a girl I'd use a good excuse like rabies
or something." He smiled, referring to Oz's werewolf state. She chuckled.

"Xander," she said with mock sternness. Her tears
were stopping now. They resumed walking in silence. After a few
moments she asked, "so what do we do now?"

"I don't know...... How about an ice cream binge
to cheer you up?" He grinned widely.

"Sounds like fun. Let's head over to my house,
I got a couple cartons of rocky road in the freezer... ice cream
binge it is." They both started giggling at their plans and headed
to Willow's house, happy in each other's company.


************************************************************************


When they arrived at her house, Willow wasn't surprised
to see her parents weren't home. < Another business trip. Hmph.>
They quickly made their way to the kitchen... and the ice cream.
She grabbed a carton and two spoons. "Here." She handed him a spoon.
"Let's go to the living room," she suggested. He nodded, his mouth
already full of ice cream. They headed to the living room and sat down on the couch.

After a few silent minutes of them stuffing themselves
with ice cream, Xander spoke up, "So, you feeling better?"

"A bit," she said half-heartedly. They continued to eat.

A few moments later he spoke up again, "You know
Will, I really am sorry about you and Oz. I know I never really
approved of your relationship with him all that much, but I am sorry."

She looked up at him and smiled brightly, touched
by his heartfelt words. "Thank you. That means a lot."
< When did he become so sweet? >
She pondered. He smiled back at her.

"So, what do you wanna do after we're done here?"
He asked, taking another spoonful of ice cream.

"I don't know," she replied. Then he suddenly clutched
his head. "Ice cream headache?" He nodded.

"Oww. I think I've had enough," he stated putting down his spoon.

"Xander Harris turning down ice cream? This is weird," she said playfully.

"Ha ha. Very funny. You know Miss Rosenberg, I
think you've had enough also." He grabbed the ice cream carton and held it away from her.

"Xander! I'm drowning my sorrows here. Gimme." She held out her hand.

"No," he said smiling, continuing to hold the carton
away from her. She made an attempt to grab it, but he still held it away from her.

"Xander," she whined, putting on her best pouty face.

"You can't get to me with that puppy dog face," he replied triumphantly.

She gave up the charade. "Don't make me hurt you,"
she said as seriously as she could.

"Ooo, a threat. Tsk tsk." He wagged his finger
at her. She narrowed her eyes at him. She unexpectedly launched
herself towards him, grabbing for the carton. Seeing her move at
just the right moment, he moved his arm with the ice cream in it,
out of the way. Unfortunately, he didn't have a chance to move out
of the way and she hadn't planned on him doing that, so the action
left them in a precarious position. She had managed to land on top of a very stunned Xander.

They made eye contact and she said the only thing
she could think of, "Oops." She smiled sheepishly.

"Oops," he stated in return. But, they were definitely
not concentrating on their words. They were staring intensely into
each others eyes, both having a flashback of the time they were locked in the factory.

"I should probably..." she whispered, meaning to
make a move to get off of him, but their eyes were still locked together.

"Yeah, probably..." he mumbled, his voice doing
that husky thing. Their lips were now inches apart. This time it
was Xander who interrupted. "We shouldn't..." he trailed off when their lips brushed together. The kiss
deepened and they put their arms around each other. Then it hit them. They both pulled apart
at the same time and Willow got off of him.

"Omigosh. What are we doing?" She asked, while moving further away from him.

"I don't know." He paused. "Sorry about that. I
should go." He got up and walked towards the door.
"Wait!" She stood up. "You can't just leave! And
why are you sorry?" She was somewhat disappointed about that part.

He turned to look at her. "You just broke up with
Oz... I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Oh. Well, their were two people involved... I
shouldn't have kissed you either."

"Why did you kiss me anyway?" He asked.

She looked at him, confused as to why he would
ask that. "Well, I... just... I like you... and the mood and stuff. Why'd you ask?"

"I just wanted to know. I mean you just broke up
with Oz and then you're kissing me... it's a little odd."

She nodded. "Well, I was kissing you when I was
with Oz... umm... wait a minute..." She cringed at what she had just said.
"Oh yeah... a bit, I guess." He wondered what he was saying.

"Wait, why did you kiss me?"

"I like you... and stuff... didn't we already discuss
this last week? When we had that fight?"

"Yeah, but... I don't know, I just wanted to know
why... again." This was an odd conversation they were having.

"So, what does all this mean?"
"All what?" Confusion again.
"Well, I like you, you like me, we like kissing...
each other..." He trailed off hoping she would get his meaning.

"Oh." She was extremely surprised. "Are you saying
you wanna... date... or something?" She looked at him, nervously awaiting his response.

"Well... no..." He saw her disappointed look and
quickly corrected himself. "U... unless you want to... you know
‘cause it's up to you." She got a weird look on her face. It looked
like a mix of confusion, surprise and... happiness?

"Oh. Really?" She asked eagerly. He nodded, his
eyes downcast, obviously embarrassed. < I can't believe this is They both thought simultaneously.

"Yeah." Then he asked the question that was troubling
him, "Do you wanna date? ‘Cause it's ok if you don't."

Finally, the whole conversation got to her, and
she was left speechless. < Xander... wants to date ME. Wow. > After
a few silent moments, she finally spoke, "I need to sit down." She
sat down on the couch. Xander sat down beside her.

"Will?" he questioned, "what's wrong?"

She looked over at him and saw the concern and
fear of rejection in his eyes. "I just... I wanted this for so long
and... now it's happening. It's a little much. And I just broke
up with Oz and stuff." She smiled shyly.

"Oh." He smirked. "I have the best timing, don't I?"

She chuckled. "No. But, I can live with it." She
locked her gaze with his. "If you wanna date... I'd like that."
They both smiled widely. "But not right away. I have to wait a while... for Oz's sake."

He looked away, downtrodden. "I understand." He
looked back at her and smiled. "I can wait."

Then she did something impetuous. She moved closer,
wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "Well, I can't." She
kissed him, but then he abruptly pulled back. She was about to question
him, but he put his finger to her lips, silencing her.

"Just hold that thought. As much as I want to kiss
you, you just broke up with Oz and... I don't wanna come between you and your rebound... time."

"Oh. Well, I mean I really liked Oz he'll still
have a place in my heart... but, I want this... now." She smiled,
then continued, "I don't wanna hurt him though, so maybe we could
just keep it a secret... for now. After enough time passes, we can
tell everyone." She paused. "So, I guess we'll have ourselves another secret relationship for now. Are you okay with that?"

He nodded happily, then came closer to her and
whispered sweetly, "Happy to oblige." He didn't let her say anything
before he glued his lips to hers. They continued that way for a
while before they reluctantly pulled apart and he headed home, both
content in their new relationship. And both happy in the fact they
were finally able to express their feelings for each other.
 

The End