Soul music

SPOILERS: Spoilers for Season 5 Buffy and Season 2 Angel - inspired by current rumours of an upcoming Angel where Willow and Xander go to LA to tell Angel about Joyce and end up in Caritas.

DEDICATION: To Sairs, cos it was her idea and she made me. But also, as always, to Bri, GM, Jess and Alli, my fave net people!

"You know" Xander Harris said in an casual relaxed tone Angel knew meant he was about be insulted "You've definitely been living too long when your favorite hangout is a karaoke bar. When it's a demon karaoke bar, you might as well get the stake yourself"

A faint smile touched Angel's lips as he slipped through the door of Caritas "You know, with all the terrible things that have happened, its nice to know that some things never change"

"Like the fact I still hate your guts with a fiery passion?" Xander tossed back, thought Angel noted it was not with the same strength or relish that he had when Angel lived in Sunnydale.

"Like that" he agreed. He paused as they sat down at a table near the back "Did I mention I was sorry?"

Xander sighed, leaning back in the chair, the last trace of positive emotion disappearing from his dark eyes "Yeah. Like a million times. Not me who needs to hear it"

Angel nodded "I know. We can leave as soon as . . ." he trailed off, looking round the bar, searching the now familiar faces for the one he was looking for.

"What, you've got to do a number first?" Xander snapped "An all singing, all dancing tribute by Broadways one and only vampire with a soul?"

Angel's eyes turned and fixed on him "You would think that would be a joke"

Xander's mouth dropped open "You . . . sing?"

"He not only sings, he sings divinely," a voice purred from behind Xander. Xander swiveled his head to be greeted by the smiling face of one very green demon, complete with horns and sparkling yellow eyes. Add in the shimmering white suit and a set of pearly white teeth, he looked more like a bad Las Vegas Entertainer than an evil demon from hell.

"My whole world just went askew" Xander muttered "I have visions of dead boy doing Madonna that are going to haunt me all night"

Angel sighed deeply "He can tell the future and look into your soul, he's that type of demon. I thought I'd make sure there was nothing big coming in the next few days, make sure Gunn has nothing to worry about while I'm away"

"You have to sing first big guy" the demon told him smoothly, with a charming smile "Music is the voice of the soul and I'm just a slave to the beat"

"Really?" Xander raised an eyebrow "I get up there, belt out a few lines and you can tell me where I will be in the next five years? Neat little power you've got there, a step up from the migraines from hell Cordy gets when she needs to see the future"

The demon held out a hand "I'm the Host of Caritas"

"Yeah? What's your name?" Xander asked, shaking the offered hand after a moment's hesitation.

The Host chuckled to himself "Funny that. No one else has ever asked. Why don't you do us a number son?"

"No" Xander shook his head "I'm good here, waiting for Cordelia to bring back Willow so we can head home. I'm figuring I have to wait for store closing time. Cordelia never could leave a shop before they made her"

"You'd be surprised" Angel said quietly "One of the things that have changed. She has"

"Don't tell me she sings too," Xander said, "Because I'm thinking no-one would return if they heard that sound"

Suddenly, the lights on the front stage went up. A spotlight searched the crowd and focused directly on the Host. From nowhere a microphone appeared in his hands and the Host swiveled round to face the crowd - in its strange mixture of demon and human, all eager for one thing. Karaoke.

"Ladies and gentleman, demons and demonettes, welcome to Caritas!" The Host purred into the microphone, obviously loving the limelight "We've got something a little bit special for you. Tonight we're going to see if the small town boy can make it big in LA! So put your hands and claws together for . . ." he spun back round, held out the microphone "Tell the crowd your name boy"

Xander glared. With a smidge of a smile, Angel leaned over and spoke quietly into the microphone "Its Xander. Xander Harris"

Xander turned the glare of death onto Angel. Angel leaned back in the chair and said nothing.

The Host motioned towards the stage "You want to know your destiny, go right on up there and dazzle me"

Xander hesitated then shrugged "What the hell!"

Pausing a moment to quickly scan the list, he spotted a song he had heard on the radio not long back, a song that had touched him. It wasn't exactly the most masculine song there was to sing but something told him that this was the song for him.

He stepped up onto the stage to a spattering of applause. The night was young; the crowd still sober - a hesitant teenager was not going to get them excited.

Xander cleared at his throat, glanced at Angel who was trying hard not to look like he loved every second. He closed his eyes, he didn't know why. As the first chords started, he had the strangest thought.

He wished Willow was here to hear him.

"They tried to catch a falling star.
Thinking that she had gone too far.
She did, but kept it hidden well.
Until she cracked and then she fell.
If all the history is true.
She's gonna end up just like you.
You made it to the other side.
But tell me who will be my guide.
They build you up
so they can tear you down
Trust the ocean
you'll never drown
Who is next?
Who's gonna steal your crown?
You'll see...
I have learnt my lesson well.
The truth is out there I can tell.
Don't look back and don't give in to their lies
and good byes.
Northern Star.
Fulfill the longing in your heart.
Then we will never be apart.
And if they dare to question you.
Just tell them that our love is true.
They buy your dreams so they can sell your soul.
Is it any wonder we've lost control?
Feelings come.
Feelings go.
I have learnt my lesson well.
The truth is out there I can tell.
Don't look back and don't succumb to their lies
and good byes.
Live your life without regret.
Don't be someone who they forget.
When you're lost reach out for me.
And you'll see she's not far.
Northern Star.
Northern Star.
I have learnt my lesson well.
The truth is out there I can tell.
Don't look back and don't succumb to their lies
and good byes.
Live your life without regret.
Don't be someone who they forget.
When you're lost reach out for me.
And you'll see she's not far.
Northern Star.
Northern Star.
Northern Star."

Xander stopped as the final note of the song ended. He cleared his throat again. Looked out into the audience.

The applause was thunderous. He basked in it for a moment, not often hearing the sound of appreciation directed towards him. Girls like Buffy got standing ovations - guys like him, didn't.

Xander grinned "Thank ya very much" he drawled in his best Elvis and left the stage.

The Host stepped forward "Wasn't he divine? I asked to be dazzled and man was I! Next up, we've got Big Bob with his now infamous version of the Monster Mash. You go girl!"

The Host lowered the microphone, his smile fading as he turned to Xander "You got a girl?" he asked.

Xander frowned, then nodded "Yeah"

The Host shook his head "You're hearts not in it. She's not you're star. You've got a true love out there but you're too blind to see it. Work on that sunshine"

He turned to go. Xander grabbed his arm "Wait, what are you saying? I sing a few notes and you tell me my entire relationship is wrong? What the hell do you know?"

The Host shrugged "I only say what I see. You've got a great future, more than I can tell you right now but you're not going to ever get out of the trap you're in unless you love the right girl" he nodded towards Angel "You're hunky yet broody friend can tell you that"

He slunk back into the crowd, Xander was left momentarily speechless but when he could find his voice, he could think of only one thing to say; "He's not my friend"

Willow Rosenberg stepped into the dingy bar, a small frown on her delicate face "You come here?" she asked, somewhat in shock.

Cordelia shook out her now short brown hair "Its not so bad. Unlike the Bronze, the roaches are normally paying customers. And you haven't lived until you've heard Bob do the Monster Mash" she smiled at Willow "Compared to the wonderfully smelly and sewery places my job takes me, this is the Ritz"

Willow shook her head "Did I mention how you have changed?"

Cordelia laughed as she pulled the other girl inside "Only a billion times" she waved out into the crowd "Look, there's Angel"

Willow smiled in relief - Cordelia might not of been the May Queen she once was, but she was still hard work "And Xander! Thank God, we can finally get home! No offense, this is a nice place to visit but I can't wait to get back to my nice safe hellmouth"

"And you're girlfriend?" Cordelia asked, with not a hint of spitefulness in her tone - more a curiosity, a question.

Willow was shy "Her name is Tara, you'd like her"

"If she's not an ex demon, she has got to be an improvement on some girlfriends" she grinned at Xander as they arrived at the table, fully aware as she glided into her seat that he had heard every word "Hey"

Angel nodded to them "Sorry you had to come with such bad news" he said to Willow.

The group instantly sobered - thoughts turning back to Sunnydale and the broken-hearted girl back there, the girl that had originally brought them all together.

Willow felt her eyes water, and shook away the tears; not wanting to think about that though it had been the direct purpose of their visit. When they had come to LA and found Angel's old address a hole in the ground, her and Xander had split up. Eventually Willow managed to track down Cordelia and Xander had basically run into Angel. When Cordy got onto her cellular, they had agreed to meet here so they could begin the return journey to Sunnydale and the unhappy event of Joyce Summers funeral "Yeah. Can I ask why we're in a karaoke bar?"

"You sing karaoke, that green guy see's into your soul, it's a whole big thing" Xander muttered

"You sung?" Willow gaped at him "And I wasn't here?" she pouted "No fair"

Cordelia shook her head "Personally I prefer my message from the Powers To Be to include a near case of my head splitting open from pain but I'm funny like that"

"You know, we never went into how you got that little thing of yours." Xander said, "I mean, what did you did, wake up one morning and wow, you had a super power?"

Cordelia flashed a smile that was all Queen C "Jealous? And we're not going into the story. It happened, I'm over it. I live with it" she shook her head and nodded to the stage" Willow, why don't you give it a shot? Its fun"

Willow shook her head "Oh no. Me and stages don't mix. At all"

"Will, you're doing drama this year aren't you?" Xander challenged her "Go on, the brand new dramatic Wicca Willow cant put a spell on this crowd?"

"What's this?" The Host again appeared, right on cue and as if by magic "I have a new victim? What do you say sunshine?"

Willow shook her head violently, but Xander in the chair beside her, stood up and pulled her up with him "She says yes" he told the Host.

Willow frowned at Xander but found herself being led towards the Stage by the Host.

The Host addressed the whole bar again as Willow looked through the song lists and sweated "Well, it's not often we get a Tuesday night this busy, folks. Give it up for this fiery little number and her rendition of . . ." he glanced at her selection "You know, you, me and you're friend Xander are going to have to have a chat about the British influences in you're life" he told Willow softly and smiled "Knock em dead tiger"

Willow looked out into the crowd, feeling terrified and about ready to faint but just as she was about to bolt of the stage, her eyes met Xander's in the middle of the crowded room. He was beaming at her. She beamed back and as the song started, she focused her attention on him and sang.

When the world is darker than I understand,
When nothing turns out the way I planned.
When the sky turns grey and there’s no end in sight,
When I can’t sleep through the lonely night.

I turn to you,
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you,
Cause you're the only one.
Who can turn me around, when I’m upside down.

When my insides are wracked with anxiety
You have the touch that will quiet me.
You lift my spirit, you melt the ice.
When I need inspiration, when I need advice.

I turn to you,
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you,
Cause you're the only one.
Who can turn me around, when I'm upside down

If you'd never helped me through
I hope someday if you lost your way
You could turn to me, you could turn to me.
Like I turn to you.

I turn to you,
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you,
Cause you're the only one.
Who can turn me around, when I'm upside down.

I turn to you.

As she finished, she was about to hurry off the stage when the Host stopped her. He placed an arm round her shoulder to keep her there and looked up "Renaldo, put a spotlight on that small town boy from earlier would ya?"

The spotlight came on, flashed through the crowd and stopped on Xander, who blinked and squirmed under its bright glare.

"You know, kids" The Host said "You get up here and you sing you're song to everyone, but the things I see, I say just to you! But not this time because we have two very deeply stupid people in here tonight."

The crowd murmured, both at what he was saying and the fact he was saying it at all. The Host never revealed the things he saw to anyone but who it belonged to, if he told you at all. Even Angel sat up straighter.

"We got two bright kids here, been through a lot in their short lives. This one" he squeezed Willows shoulder tighter "Got enough love life related pain to keep her hiding in her room till retirement so she's done what most folk do. Choose the relationship that's least likely to leave you with a broken heart, the safe one" he shook his head "Well LA doesn't do safe. I've seen something special tonight. I've seen two people who are meant to be together, who belong together but are either too afraid or have just given up. They didn't sing their songs to me, they were singing to each other." He looked out at Xander, who was sitting open mouthed "So I think you should come up to this stage and meet you're future. If you're brave enough to embrace it"

Xander hesitated. Willow's eyes were wide and looking at him.

Cordelia nudged him "Go. You know its true"

Xander stood, his movements slow like he was in shock he moved through the expectant and buzzing crowd, not seeing anything but the girl on stage.

The girl he had grown up with, who had been his life for most of his younger years. The girl who knew him and loved him, who was his family and would always be, whatever happened. The girl he had fallen in love with when they were changing for the Homecoming Dance. The girl who had broken his heart when she had said another guys name instead of his own. The girl he thought he was never meant to have.

The woman on the stage now.

The Host stepped aside, smiling "You can't argue with a good pop record"

Xander stood facing Willow, looking only at her, barely registering he was in a crowded bar.

Willow looked up at him, the lights of the stage reflecting in her green eyes, making them sparkle ""This is crazy" she breathed.

"Yeah" he agreed "And there's Tara . . ."

"And Anya" she agreed with him "And we shouldn't do this all over again"

"Not on the basis of a karaoke song" Xander said, finishing her thoughts as if he could read her mind. He stared at her.

The doubts went away. She was so beautiful.

"I love you," he said, the words slipping out his mouth before he could stop them.

Her eyes widened in barely contained joy "I love you too" she whispered "But . . ."

He put a finger on her lips "Ssssh. Listen"

Willow frowned "There's no music Xander"

He lowered his finger and leaned in close "Yeah there is"

His lips touched hers and they melted into each other's arms in a kiss that was more than just a kiss. It was an acceptance, a beginning and an ending.

The crowd in the bar leapt to their feet in applause that could literally bring the house down if it continued long enough.

Neither Xander nor Willow heard any of it.

The Host smiled and raised a hand to wipe a tear from his eyes "I love my job"

The End