I watched you

Disclaimer: I don't own Willow and Xander, or anything Buffy related (except every last one of the books). Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox do. Even if they don't know how to use them.

Distribution: if you've already got my stuff, then sure. Otherwise, just let me know.

Notes: Fair warning. I think that this is pretty damn depressing. I was...not in a happy place when I wrote it, and it shows. Sorry.

I watched you, quite a bit over the summer. My "road trip" led me about as far as the outskirts of town. I tried my damnedest to leave, but I couldn't. The memory of the look in your eyes when we said goodbye was still burning in my soul. So I stayed, but not close enough for anyone to know I was there. I spent my entire summer waiting, waiting and watching you.

He took you to the movies one night, to see "Notting Hill" and "Runaway Bride" back to back. I was there, not to watch you, but to live in my memories some more. The pull of a Julia Roberts double feature was enough to get me to leave my own self-imposed exile in my Spartan motel room. Whenever the subject of Julia Roberts is mentioned, I inevitably think of you, and your reaction to watching "Pretty Woman" for the first time. It was the first R-rated movie we had ever snuck into. You cried so hard at the line "I want the fairy tale". I was sitting in the farthest corner of the back row when I saw the two of you come in together. Even now, I can tell you what you were wearing. You had on a pair of denim shorts that were just short enough to make them interesting, and a dark blue short sleeved peasant blouse. Your fiery red hair was braided into pigtails and my mind flashed back to footie pj's and giggling all night at sleepovers. Instead of watching the movie, I watched you. I watch you laugh, I watched you cry. During the break between the end of "Runaway Bride" and the beginning of "Notting Hill", I watched as you tried to talk to Oz, and I saw him get up in the middle of your sentence to go get a soda refill. I watched as your already strained smile faded and your eyes welled up with tears. And then I saw the most remarkable thing. You were twisting the charm on your necklace, and it caught in the light. The tiny gold sun hanging around your neck was the other half of the small silver moon I wore. We had bought them for each other for Christmas when we were eight. I had worn mine ever since the day I first put it on, but I hadn't seen you wear yours since Oz. I watched as you held the sun and a single tear fell from your eye. Then, you whispered my name. All I could do was watch, and then Oz came back. I quietly left the movie theater when the second movie began. I sat in my car, with my head in my hands, thinking. When I finally lifted my head, I noticed that the movie had gotten out. I watched you leave and I started my car. Heading back to my motel room I realized that I'd be back in Sunnydale one day soon, for good, waiting for Oz to leave, so I could tell you that I believed that fairy tales existed after all. But until then, I can just watch you.

The End