Nothing special
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13 tops
Timeline: Fifth season
Distribution: If anyone actually wants it, I'd be tickled pink to hear about it.
Spoilers: Spoilers for an upcoming episode, I guess. At least I keep hearing that Xander's gonna do the karaoke thing.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and I'm not making any money off of them.
Dedications: To my beta-babes, as always.
Note: When I heard that Xander would be singing at the Host's bar in an upcoming episode, I just knew I had to write this story before the show aired. I don't have much faith in the writers when it comes to Xander anymore, though I have to admit they're doing pretty well lately. Anyway, this is the kind of thing I'd love to see happen on the show.
"Xander, why are we here?" Willow asked plaintively. She hated the whiny tone of her voice, but she was tired and just wanted to get home. Instead, Xander had dragged her to a bar. A bar full of demons, no less. Worse yet, a Karaoke bar full of demons. Public singing and demons had both played a part in some of her more memorable nightmares, and as far as Willow was concerned, they definitely weren't two great tastes that tasted great together. The petite redhead looked up at her friend, searching for an explanation.
Xander smiled down at her, but she could tell his heart wasn't in it. He was just as tired as she was. More, probably. Joyce's death had hit him hard. Not as hard as it had hit Buffy and Dawn, of course, but Xander had always looked up to Joyce. Willow knew that Joyce was the kind of mother Xander wished he'd had when growing up, and she knew how angry Xander was at the cruel fate that had taken away the mother of two of the friends that he loved. Add in the long, depressing evening they'd just spent with Cordelia and Angel, and she couldn't understand why he'd insisted they come here instead of just driving straight home to Sunnydale like they'd originally planned.
Truth be told, Xander wasn't sure himself. He tried to think of a suitable answer to Willow's question as he guided her to a vacant table near the bar. The problem was, he didn't have an answer. When Cordy had told them about the demon who could read destinies, he'd just known he had to see what the future held for him. Xander had never been a big fan of prophecies and pre- destination. In his fairly wide experience, they never caused anything but pain. But if this Host Cordy had described could give him any information that would make life easier for Buffy and his friends, he knew he had to try. So he'd put aside his doubts and his fatigue, and dragged his best friend to the bar with him.
His best friend, who was looking at him like she was ready to kick him under the table if she didn't get an answer soon. "I'm not sure, Will," he said. "I just... I just need to know if there's anything this guy can tell us that might help. We need all the help we can get at this point, what with Glory breathing down our necks and Buffy off her game. I just figured this place was worth a shot, y'know?" He gave Willow his most reassuring smile, and threw in a bit of the old puppy-dog eyes for good measure.
As usual, Willow's exasperation melted under Xander's onslaught. She sighed and nodded her head. "You're right. It's worth a shot. Assuming this Host guy is the real deal, of course."
"Oh, I can assure you I'm the realest deal in town, babe." The voice was light, playful. Willow turned to look for the speaker, and started in surprise as a demon sat down in one of the empty chairs at their table. He wasn't too shocking as demons went. A strange skin color and horns were nothing compared to some of the things the Wiccan had seen since Buffy had come into her life. His suit was another matter, but Xander's Uncle Rory had been known to wear worse. She recovered from the surprise quickly and smiled uncertainly at the demon.
"You're the Host?"
"I am indeed," he said with a smile as he extended his hand to her. After a moment's hesitation she put her hand in his and watched in amusement as he brought it to his lips for a soft kiss. Willow studied his smile as he turned to shake hands with Xander. It wasn't the smile of an evil demon, of that she was sure. She figured they could trust this Host, at least as long as they stayed in view of the other patrons.
Xander obviously felt otherwise. Willow had to stifle a giggle at the glare Xander directed at the demon after he kissed her hand. Still, he shook the Host's hand readily enough, so she wasn't *too* worried. She resolved to keep an eye on Xander as she turned back to listen to what the Host was now saying.
"Welcome to my establishment, my friends. You're obviously both very tired, and not too comfortable with some of my more... exotic patrons." As he spoke, he gestured towards a pair of spidery demons who were enjoying what looked like giant flies' heads with straws stuck in them. Willow blanched and turned back to the Host.
"So," he said. "I'll come straight to the point. Business before pleasure. I do so hate that philosophy, but what's a demon to do? Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear your names, and the name Buffy. Can I safely assume you're from charming Sunnydale, the town so nice they cursed it twice?"
That got a weak smile from Xander. "Yeah, that's us. You've heard of us?"
"But of course," the Host said with a smile. "You folks are pretty well-known in certain circles. Mostly the Slayer, obviously, but news of your whole crew has gotten around. Yet another reason to keep your time here short - a fair percentage of my clientele is probably just as uncomfortable around you as you are around them. So what can I do for you? Come to have your destinies read, have you?"
"Not me," Willow said with an emphatic shake of her head.
The Host chuckled. "What's the matter? Not a karaoke fan?"
Willow shook her head again. "People ask me not to sing," she declared.
Xander reached over to pat her on the arm. "That's not true, Will."
Willow shrugged. "Okay. Make that, I ask people not to ask me to sing."
The Host's eyes glazed over briefly as he worked through her statement. "Whatever you say, dear. But I assure you, you can't be *that* bad. I mean, Cordelia sang here once. If we can take her, we can handle anything you have to dish out."
Willow and Xander shivered at the thought of Cordelia singing, then Willow shook her head yet again. "Nope. Not gonna sing."
The Host nodded. "Fair enough." He turned to face Xander. "You'll be the one gracing us with your manly presence on stage tonight, then?"
Xander nodded uncertainly. "I guess so, yeah. But I'm not sure what to sing."
The Host waved his concern away. "We've got anything you could possibly want, and I'm usually a good judge of these things. You look like a Sinatra man. Old Blue Eyes? No, wait," he said before Xander could answer. "Elvis! The King is calling, isn't he?" Xander started to say something, but the Host cut him off. "No! This is a job for the Man In Black, am I right?"
Xander looked at him with grudging respect. "None of the above, actually, but any other night you'd probably be right. Tonight, though, I think I'm in a Jersey state of mind."
The Host slapped his forehead. "Of course! Well," he said with a wink and a chuckle, "you can be the Boss of me anytime, handsome. I'll go give you your intro."
Willow watched the demon saunter up to the stage and take the microphone to begin his introduction, then turned to Xander as the Host spoke. "Destiny is a scary thing, Xander. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Xander smiled. "As much as I ever do." He ignored Willow's muttered "We're doomed..." as he stood up and made his way to the stage, but turned around to smile and wave when she called out "Break a leg! But not literally!!"
Far too soon, Xander found himself on stage in front of a rather large crowd of people. Well, mostly people. None of them looked friendly. They mostly looked like they wanted to drag him off the stage and beat him to death. And that was the humans!
He smiled at the crowd as the music started, and then he began to sing.
"We busted out of class, had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school.
Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound.
I can feel my heart begin to pound.
You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down."
As he came to the chorus, his eyes sought out Willow in the darkness of the bar.
"We made a promise, we swore we'd always remember.
No retreat, baby, no surrender.
Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend.
No retreat, baby, no surrender."
Xander felt his eyes drawn to the crowd as a whole as
he went into the next verse. There were a lot of smiles, and more than one
person bobbing their head to the beat.
Well, maybe we could cut someplace of our own.
With these drums and these guitars."
Once again, he looked for Willow. As her eyes caught his, she smiled and began to sing along with him.
"Blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend.
No retreat, baby, no surrender."
"Now on the street tonight the lights grow dim
The walls of my room are closing in.
There's a war outside still raging.
You say it ain't ours anymore to win.
I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed.
With a wide open country in my eyes.
And these romantic dreams in my head."
As his voice trailed off at the end of the song, Willow began clapping furiously. She was soon joined by a fair number of the bars patrons, human and demon alike. He smiled at them as he put down the microphone, then walked over to join the Host at the bar.
"Pretty good, mon ami. And I don't have to be able to read you to know the song says a lot about you."
"Thanks, I guess," Xander said uncomfortably. "Why don't we go sit with Will and you can tell me whatever you have to tell me."
The Host shook his head. "No can do. This is for your ears only. If you want to tell her, feel free, but I won't. Okay?" He took Xander's nod and shrug as acceptance and went on. "Okay, you want to know your destiny." It wasn't a question, so Xander didn't say anything. The Host blew out a breath of air and seemed embarrassed as he said, "The thing is, you don't have one."
Xander blinked a few times as he digested that. "What?" he finally asked.
The Host chuckled. "Fair question." His face sobered. "Not everyone gets a capital-D Destiny, Xander. In fact, most people don't. Only the special cases get singled out for that kind of attention from the Powers That Be."
Xander closed his eyes as the old pain hit him. "So I'm nothing special? Great. Thanks so much for telling me."
The Host shook his head. "That's not what I mean, kid. Ninety- nine percent of the people who come in here to sing, I don't get any special vibe off of them. One guy, maybe I can tell him his girlfriend is cheating on him. Another woman, I can tell her that all the overtime she's been putting in isn't for nothing, and she's got a big promotion coming. But it's just ordinary stuff like that. They don't have a destiny, not the same way someone like Angel or the Slayer does. They're just ordinary people. Their lives aren't fated."
Xander was getting mad now. Why did the guy have to rub it in? "So I'm ordinary," he growled. "I get it, already."
The Host sighed. "No, you really don't. You don't have a special destiny. Big deal. That doesn't mean you're not special. What it means is that the Powers That Be didn't know about you when they made their plans." He saw Xander's confusion and clarified, "They don't pay attention to every little detail. How could they, right? They look at the big players and decide what's going to happen. Like with Blondie, your Slayer."
"She's not my Slayer," Xander snapped.
"Okay, whatever. But let's take a look at her, shall we? She's a Slayer, and a pretty good one, by all accounts. But she was supposed to die a few years back. The Powers decided that a thousand years ago. Maybe longer. Whenever that Codex book was written. They decided that the Master was going to break free and the Slayer was going to die. And then, lo and behold, the Master broke free and the Slayer died. So let it be written, so let it be done."
Xander nodded. He seemed caught up in what the Host was telling him.
The Host smiled at him. "And then you came along. A thousand years ago, the Powers didn't even know you were going to exist. Why would they care, right? You're just an average schmoe. No way could you interfere with their plans." He laughed. "And yet, here we are. Four years later, and your Slayer is still alive and kicking. That wasn't supposed to happen, Xander. The only reason she's still around is because you, my friend, have no destiny. No one ever thought you'd be important enough to plan for."
Xander started to ask a question, but the Host cut him off. "More fools they, huh? You're the spoiler, Xander. The wild card. You don't have a destiny, but that doesn't mean you're not important. What it means is that you make your own destiny. Just like almost everyone else in the world. The difference is, you're part of the fight. You're out there raging against the dying of the Light, my man. Of your own free will, you've chosen to help fight evil. The pay's lousy, the benefits suck, and no one ever lives until retirement, but I don't think that's enough to make you quit. Am I right, or am I right?"
It took a moment for Xander to find his voice. "You're right."
"So, then. You make your own destiny, that's what it comes down to. Nobody upstairs gets to decide what happens to you. That's freedom, Xander. A kind of freedom Angel and your Slayer just don't have. And freedom can be pretty damned scary. But what are you gonna do?"
Xander had the answer to that one right away. "I'm going to do the best I can."
The Host smiled and nodded in satisfaction. "By George, I think he's got it! And let me tell you, Xander. I can't see much of your future, but what I can see tells me your best is pretty damned good."
Xander stood silently as he took in everything he'd been told. Finally, he looked back at the Host and asked what he saw as the most important question. "So you can't tell me anything that'll help Buffy or keep my friends safe?"
The Host sighed and shook his head. "'Fraid not. I'm sorry about that, I really am. I can tell you one thing, though."
He caught Xander's eyes before continuing. "They love you, Xander. All of them. They love you and they know you love them. So don't you worry about that, okay?"
Slowly, a grin spread across Xander's face. He nodded. "All right, then. Good to know. Thanks," he said as he stuck his hand out.
The Host took it, and as they shook he said, "You take care, Xander. I hope to see you again. And hey, keep an eye on Red over there, okay? She needs you."
Xander's smile grew even wider. "Well, I need her too, so I guess we're even." With a nod, he walked back to the table where Willow sat waiting.
Willow watched Xander coming towards her and wondered what the Host had told him. He'd been upset when they'd first started talking, his shoulders hunched protectively the way they'd always been when his father would rain insults down upon him. She had wanted to run over and take his hand, let him know she was there for him. But soon he had straightened up and become more involved in the conversation, so she had held her peace. But now she was dying to know what the Host had told him.
"So what's up?" she asked, standing up as Xander arrived at their table. "What did he tell you?" Then a thought occurred to her, and she hurried on. "I mean, if you don't mind my asking..."
Xander smiled at her, the same smile he'd given her while he was singing up on stage. He took her hand in his and started leading her out of the bar before he answered. "I don't mind, Will. But there's not much to tell. He says I don't have a destiny. I'm nothing special, I guess."
Willow stopped walking, forcing Xander to stop and turn towards her. "The hell you aren't! Xander," she said as she put her hand up to his face, "you're plenty special to me, okay?"
Xander's smile grew wider, and she was relieved to see no pain in it at all. "I know, Will," he said. "And that's enough for me."
"All right, then." Willow said with a smile of her own. She started pulling Xander along with her towards the exit. "Let's get going. It'll be good to be home, won't it?"
"Yeah," Xander said as he squeezed her hand. "It'll be good to be home."
The End
