A perfect moment
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB, I've just borrowed them for a while.
Rating: PG
Author's notes: Jessica Simpson wrote and performed 'Did you ever?'
I close my eyes as I feel his lips graze mine. His fingertips dance over my cheek, brushing my doubts away, allowing the feelings I’d attempted to hide for so long, to surface and flow through my body.
My lips part as the kiss deepens; the world around me falls away. Only he and I exist in a moment that is filled with love, passion and friendship.
My eyes open as our lips finally relinquish their touch; his beautiful eyes meet my gaze. Eyes that I’ve known for a lifetime, eyes that tell me a story or emotion with a mere glint. Eyes that have let me know him better than I probably know myself.
As I look into his eyes, I remember the first time I saw him. It was his eyes I noticed first, dark brown liquid pools that could mesmerize me and fill my heart with joy when they smiled at me. That day, his eyes weren’t filled with happiness, but with a look of loneliness and pain as he sat on the bench in the playground watching the other children playing. My heart ached as I watched him sit there, I couldn’t let him be alone, so I walked over to him and started a conversation. I babbled, just like I’ve babbled at every other important moment in my life. But instead of laughing, as the other children did, he turned to look at me and, smiled. As he smiled his eyes glinted with happiness, and I knew then, that he would always be important to me.
I smile at thoughts of the past, but also at knowing that everything from this moment will be better. Not perfect. Love can never be perfect; love needs pain and conflict in order to be truly appreciated. To reach this moment now, this almost perfect moment in time, we’ve faced endless pain and problems. But from the ashes of the past a phoenix of the future has risen, a future that holds promises of love and friendship.
We’ve both tasted pain, but the hardest pain I ever felt was the loss of our friendship. Those months seem like a canyon in my life, a void I couldn’t fill however hard I tried. It was experiencing that void that allowed me to really understand just how important he is to me, how empty my life is without him. I know the love I feel for him will never disappear, it’s a love that has been developing since the day I met him, and it will continue to develop until the day I die.
A sense of guilt washes briefly over me; at the thought of the pain we felt and caused each other during the loss of our friendship. I want to apologise for every moment of pain that I’ve caused him, but as I look into his eyes, I know that I don’t need to apologise, because I know he’s forgiven me, just as I’ve forgiven him. Just as we always do, that’s an important element of our relationship, forgiving and using each new experience to develop our connection.
I know we’ll face challenges in the future, but in my heart I know as long as I’m with him my life will be one filled with love, more love than anyone else has had the privilege to experience. As I stand there looking at him, I make a silent promise and thank the gods and every other deity I can think of, for allowing me the opportunity to love him again.
His hand gently grasps mine as the sunlight catches the gold band on his finger. The symbol that shows the world the promises we’ve made to each other today, promises to be there and to care for each other for the rest of our lives.
His handsome face holds a smile that could challenge the angels in heaven. It’s a smile for me, the smile he’s kept just for me since the first time we met. The time I knew my future. The time I first felt alive and the time my heart truly began to love.
He gently squeezes my hand as we turn towards our friends and our family. Ready to take the first steps into the future, our future. No longer alone and afraid, but united from this moment onwards.
The minister’s voice behind us floats through the air, reverberating in the silent room. “May I present to you the bride and groom.” Our friends clap and smile.
The applause finally fades to silence as they wait for my husband to speak. He thanks our friends for coming, his voice full of love, explaining to everyone in the room how important they are to us.
He turns to me, smiling once more, encouraging me to take my turn to talk to my friends and family. I inhale deeply, my heart begins to pound in my chest, my self consciousness returns, my boldness dissipates, until I feel his hand grazing mine, encouraging me. I glance quickly at him, seeing the love in his eyes; I use the love and faith he has in me to speak to our friends.
My voice, echoes in the room, it quavers at first, but becomes more forceful as I become more confident. “The journey we’ve taken has been long and hard. The course of love has never been easy, and we can testify to that. But our journey is now complete, we’ve finally found each other, completed the jigsaw of our hearts and lives. Now we’re ready to embrace the future together. Love and life can be hard, but I know together we have a chance. A chance to be happy, a chance at a future.”
As I glance around the room, the warmth of love and friendship greets me. Everyone who matters is there, and those who aren’t, are there in spirit. We’ve all lost so many important people, but they’ve touched our lives and made their marks on our hearts. Marks we’ll never forget, because they helped us to make the journey to our destiny.
I push the sadness away as I embrace the love and happiness of today. Tomorrow will bring new challenges and adventures, those challenges we’ll truly face together for the first time.
Music filters through the air as we move together to the centre of the room, to dance our first dance together as man and wife.
Did you ever love somebody,
So much that the earth moved?
Did you ever love somebody,
Even though it hurt too?
Did you ever love somebody
Nothing else your heart could do?
Did you ever love somebody
Who never knew?
And then have to look away somehow?
Had to hide the way you felt for them?
Have you ever prayed the day would come
You’d hear them say they feel it too?
Did you ever love somebody
Who never knew?
My husband’s arms encircle me, meeting at the small of my back. I look into his eyes and we move forward briefly kissing, as we part. He whispers in my ear, “Willow Harris, I love you.”
I feel myself beaming like a Cheshire cat riding the waves of happiness that surge through me at those words. “I love you to, Alexander.” I reply as he scrunches his nose at the sound of his name, the name that really isn’t him but is right for today, for this moment.
I rest my head against his shoulder as we dance, the world and our friends fading away into a sweet memory, we’re lost in our own thoughts, thoughts of each other, of our future, appreciating our happy ending.
And if you did, well, you know I’d understand.
I could, I would, more than anybody can.
Did you ever love somebody
So much that the earth moved?
Did you ever love somebody
So much that it hurt too?
Did you ever love somebody
Nothing else your heart could do?
Did you ever love somebody
Like I love you?
Like I love you?
Like I love you?
The End
