A Christmas wish

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the WB, I've just borrowed them for a while.

Author’s notes: This is set eight years in the future. I’ve tampered with the time line a little but nothing major.

Dedication: To everyone on Wxfic and Xanderships, whose support and feedback on my previous story have given me the confidence to put pen to paper again. Also to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

As Xander sat and watched the choir, listening to their beautiful voices, a twinge of regret and loneliness coursed through his body.

The shopping mall was filled with the hustle and bustle of shoppers desperately trying to find that last minute present for a loved one.

Xander stirred his coffee trying to push the loneliness he felt away, remembering other Christmases in the past. When he, Willow, Buffy and the rest of the Scooby Gang had celebrated. Now it was different, it had changed when Willow left Sunnydale. A part of him had left with her. Deep inside he knew that she was still alive, even though he hadn’t heard anything from her in five years.

As he remembered her auburn hair and her emerald eyes, he recalled the last time he’d seen her. She had seemed perfectly happy, well he thought she had. Their friendship had changed, they hadn’t shared all their thoughts and emotions with the other. The one person he had relied upon for his entire life had become so distant, and he hadn’t known how to reach her and then it had been too late.

He had watched her walk away from the store he’d worked in and disappear into the crowd. Her last smile etched into his memory forever.

No one knew why she’d left. It had been a question Xander had pondered almost every day. He had replayed her last few weeks in Sunnydale again and again, desperate to find a clue or hint as to why she’d left so suddenly. Even after five years he was still no closer to finding the answer or her.

"I’m sorry to disturb you," a deep voice spoke to Xander, "Is this seat taken?"

"No." Xander replied, at last lifting his eyes from his coffee and looking at the man.

Xander was shocked to find Santa Claus, or at least a man dressed as Santa Claus, wishing to sit down at his table.

The large man struggled into the seat opposite Xander, his arms resting on his large stomach. His curly white beard cascaded over his red coat. The old man’s blue eyes sparkled with kindness.

"You look like someone who’s never seen Santa before." the man joked, his cheeks glowing.

"That it is," Xander spoke, his voice thick with the pain he felt at Willow’s absence.

The man watched Xander intently, as if trying to interpret his mood. The attention made Xander nervous. Finally the man spoke. "You seem to have something troubling your mind?"

"If it’s not a personal question, may I ask what’s bothering you? Maybe Santa Claus can help!" The man smiled gently and Xander relaxed slightly.

"Ah, a friend. Yes, Christmas does have a way of bringing back memories, especially of people who are special to us. From the look in your eyes she must have been special."

Xander was a little taken aback. He hadn’t mentioned the friend he was talking about was a woman.

"I could tell you were thinking of a woman, your eyes were kind of misty." The man teased.

"She was my best friend," Xander began. It was comforting to share his feelings with someone who didn’t know him. Xander explained what had happened five years ago.

Santa appeared to be listening intently to Xander’s story. His eyes focused on the younger man’s and his head nodded appropriately.

Xander nodded, he could feel the warmth of fresh tears building in his eyes. It had been a long time since he’d talked about Willow and the pain of her disappearance had surfaced again and toyed with his heart.

"She knew how I felt about her. She knew she was my best friend and always would be."

"She might have known she was your best friend, but did you tell her you loved her?"

"No," Xander whispered, scared of admitting it to himself. "Unless you count the time she was unconscious, and she woke up and asked for her boyfriend." he added bitterly.

"I hope so, in here," Xander motioned towards his heart. "Although I’m not sure."

"I believe you would." Santa smiled as he stood and patted Xander on the shoulder. "Merry Christmas Xander."

Xander turned quickly to look in the direction Santa should have been walking, but Xander couldn’t see him amongst the crowd.

"Living on a Hellmouth certainly makes life interesting." he thought, puzzled by the conversation he’d just had.

Xander walked up to his door, arms laden with packages. He cautiously put them down and opened the door.

The house was dark and desolate, childhood memories greeting him. He could see an eight year old Willow bounding down the stairs, her long auburn locks flying out behind her, her emerald green eyes blazing with happiness.

Everywhere he turned, images of Willow materialised in his mind. The memories of Willow were one of the main reasons he’d bought the house two years ago, when Willow’s parents had sold it, finally giving up on hearing from their daughter.

He flicked the light switch on in the living room. The Christmas tree he’d bought sat patiently in the corner waiting to be decorated. He had promised Jack, Buffy and Oz’s son that he could help decorate the tree, and tomorrow he was coming over with his parents and Giles to help Xander find the Christmas spirit.

Xander placed the wrapped packages under the tree, all except one. He tenderly held the package in his hands and walked up the stairs to the room that had once belonged to Willow.

The room was decorated as she’d left it when she’d moved into the dorm with Buffy, although her furniture and personal belongings had been removed a long time ago. Xander walked towards the closet, where he kept his most treasured mementoes from his childhood. He had saved every birthday card and present Willow had ever given him. His photo album was there as well as every Birthday, Christmas and Hanukkah present he’d bought for her in the past five years.

He placed the package tenderly on top of the pile and closed the closet door. As he did, he wished that wherever Willow was, she was safe and happy.

He walked towards the door, glancing once more over his shoulder and recalled the times he’d stayed over and played Clue with Willow on the carpet. His life had always been with Willow and now he was alone.

Xander opened the door and was greeted by the sudden flurry of a three year old hugging his knees. Xander bent down and scooped the blonde haired toddler into his arms.

"Uncle Xander can we dec. . .dec. . .or. . .ate the tree?" The child asked, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement.

"It’s Uncle Xander’s job to eat the popcorn and every other candy decoration on the tree." Buffy teased gently. She was happy to see Xander smiling, even if the only time he smiled was when Jack was around. He really missed Willow, more than any of the others, she had been special to him in so many ways, and unfortunately, he hadn’t realised how special until it was too late.

"But I’m sure I’ll share them with my favourite nephew," Xander beamed back.

Buffy watched happily as Xander and Jack decorated the tree. They were so happy together. Buffy knew that one day Xander would make an excellent father. But first he had to find the right woman, the only problem was she’d left five years ago.

Jack lifted up the last decoration in his hand, it was a heart shaped frame with a photograph of Willow inside. The little boy looked up at his Uncle a questioning look in his eyes. "Uncle Xander, who’s the pretty lady?"

Xander looked down at the little boy and the photograph of Willow grasped tightly in his hand. Xander felt a lump well up in his throat, he’d completely forgotten about the photograph. It was the only relatively new picture he had of Willow and he’d forgotten he’d put it with the Christmas decorations. He didn’t know how to answer Jack’s innocent question. Fortunately Buffy stepped in.

"Jack, this is a photograph of your Aunt Willow, she is a friend of Mommy’s, Daddy’s, Uncle Xander’s and Grandpa Giles." Buffy smiled reassuringly at her son.

"Well, Aunt Willow left along time ago, before you were born. One day I hope you will meet her, sweetheart."

Jack looked away from his Mother and up at his Uncle, who had tears forming in his eyes. Jack was puzzled. Why would Uncle Xander cry at the picture of Aunt Willow? Not sure what to do, the little boy, did what he did best, he hugged Xander’s knees.

Xander bent down and scooped up the little boy. His eyes going to the photograph clasped in the child’s hands.

Xander thought carefully, children had a way of asking the hardest questions. He decided to be honest. "Aunt Willow was my best friend, just like Tom is yours at kindergarten. We played together and had lots of fun. When we grew up; became grown ups, we were still good friends, but Aunt Willow had to go. . . I miss her." he added, his voice contorted with pain and emotion.

Buffy touched Xander’s shoulder, offering her support. He turned and looked at her, his eyes watery and a small smile on his lips.

Jack looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to reach a decision. "Uncle Xander, we could write to Santa!" Jack beamed with pride at his idea. Grandpa Giles had helped him to write his letter to Santa and they’d posted it yesterday.

Xander was amazed at Jack’s statement. "What would we ask Santa for?" he asked curiously.

"To bring Aunt Willow back and to make you happy." The little boy beamed. He couldn’t understand why he had to tell Xander, he thought it was obvious why they would write to Santa.

Xander nodded. He carefully put the child on the ground and together they placed the photograph of Willow on the tree.

Jack and Xander composed the perfect letter to Santa. Jack carefully thinking about what he had to say and Xander writing it down for him.

When they had finished they walked to the mailbox and posted it. Xander lifted Jack so he could place their precious letter inside.

As they walked back, Jack began to ask questions about Willow, intrigued by the Aunt he’d never met.

"Yes she loved Snoopy and Scooby Doo!" Xander smiled as he recalled the times they’d spent as children watching Scooby Doo.

"I don’t know Jack, but I wish I did." Xander replied as they approached his house.

Xander glanced once more at the gifts under the tree. He checked his list once more, he was almost prepared for tomorrow. Buffy, Oz, Jack, Giles and Joyce were coming to spend Christmas Day at his house. The past three years had been spent at Buffy and Oz’s because Jack had been a baby. But this was the first year that Jack really appreciated the magic of Christmas.

Xander was really looking forward to Christmas, for the first time in years. Jack was really excited and some of his enthusiasm was rubbing off on Xander.

He checked his list again to reassure himself, then he turned switched off the light and went upstairs to bed.

As Xander slept, he didn’t hear the gentle tinkling of sleigh bells and the laughter of a jolly man dressed in red.

As the man and his sleigh passed over Xander’s house a magical, glittery light danced through the window towards the Christmas tree.

When the magical light retreated towards the sleigh, the man called gently "Merry Christmas, Xander." Before he and his reindeer disappeared into the darkness of the night.

Xander woke to the noise of his alarm clock. He rolled over and hit the snooze button, opening one eye to read the time. 7.00am. Xander groaned and pulled back the duvet ready to prepare for the day ahead.

The kitchen was filled with wonderful smells by the time the doorbell chimed. Xander appeared from the kitchen, a red Santa hat on his head and a Snoopy apron covering his blue sweater and jeans. Xander had worn the Santa hat to amuse Jack and to try and instill a little Christmas Spirit in himself.

He walked quickly to the door and pulled it open, expecting to find Buffy, Oz and Jack. His mouth dropped open as realisation dawned. Before him stood a vision of beauty Xander thought he’d never see again. The shock began to dissipate and Xander was finally able to speak. "Willow?" he asked, sure that he was hallucinating.

She smiled gently, her emerald green eyes searching his. She nodded in reply to his question. Xander took in her appearance, her auburn hair was cut in a shoulder length style that flattered her features. She hardly looked any different to the day she left, except there was something in her eyes, a kind of pain Xander couldn’t put his finger on.

A flurry of questions raced into his head. He didn’t know where to start. Then he remembered they were standing on his doorstep. He moved backwards, opening the doorway to her. "Come in," he requested. To his relief she stepped over the threshold and into his home.

They stood in the hallway, both unsure of how to proceed. The air was thick with emotion. Willow shifted uneasily, her eyes glancing around the hallway, which had once been so familiar to her. The place where she’d grown up and had so many of her first experiences. It hadn’t really changed, except her parents were no longer here, but Xander was.

She turned to look at him. Her eyes filled with pain, more pain than he had ever hoped to see in her eyes. "I had to Xander. Everything changed. I couldn’t handle the responsibility anymore." She paused as if thinking carefully about how to proceed. "I wasn’t me anymore, I was Willow, Research Queen. The best friend who could be relied upon to help in a crisis. No one noticed that I couldn’t handle the responsibility, I needed to find me, find what I wanted. Be somewhere where I didn’t have the weight of helping to save the world on my shoulders."

He hadn’t realised Willow had felt like that. He’d honestly thought she’d been happy at college, happy with researching and being a Slayerette. He felt guilty, he was her friend, he should have recognised that she needed him to understand and now it was too late.

"I didn’t realise," he admitted, ashamed that he hadn’t seen that she needed his support.

"No one did Xander. Everyone was so wrapped up in their own lives and life on the Hellmouth no one knew that I needed to leave. Go somewhere where no one knew who I was, or what I’d been. Somewhere where I could explore who I was and what I wanted from life. I wanted to write, to let you know I was safe, but I was scared, scared that if I told you where I was you’d come and find me."

"It would have then. I needed time Xander. I had spent nearly twenty years as your best friend. I had never been an individual, always a part of a team, first you and me, then as a Slayerette. I wanted my independence, to make my way on my own."

"This," she replied, taking a familiar envelope from her bag. She removed the letter from the envelope and handed it to him.

Xander took the letter and read in amazement at the familiar handwriting. It was his own, the letter was the one Jack and he had written to Santa. Xander felt his mouth open, unsure what to say or do.

"I don’t know the how or the why, but I knew as soon as I read it that I needed to come home. To be here with my friends, with you." She spoke quietly, her voice etched with uncertainty.

Xander looked up from the letter he held in his shaking hands. He noticed tears collecting in the corner of Willow’s eyes. Her last few words rang in his ears. She needed to be here with her friends and with him. "I missed you Will," he admitted, feeling his own eyes brimming with tears.

She smiled through her tears, relieved that she had finally come home. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed Sunnydale until now, although she had always had a hole in her heart from leaving Xander behind. She noticed Xander’s tears. She hadn’t seen him cry in such a long time. The last time had been when Jesse died, and even then he’d tried to shroud his emotions.

"I’m sorry." she said quietly, trying to make up for causing him so much pain.

He looked at her, his chocolate brown eyes locking on hers. She was shocked at what she saw. It couldn’t be? She asked herself silently. She thought she saw more than friendship in his eyes, perhaps even love. She had no right to expect anything from him, not even friendship, she’d left him five years ago without explaining why. Then she’d walked back into his life without warning, just turning up on his doorstep, expecting . . . .well she didn’t know what.

"I should go. It’s Christmas and your obviously expecting guests." she nodded towards the kitchen as she turned towards the door.

They looked intently at one another, neither wishing to break contact, scared that it might be an illusion. The chiming of the doorbell brought them back to reality. Xander broke eye contact first as he turned to open the door.

Willow watched Xander nervously, unsure of who might be arriving to spend Christmas with him. He could have a girlfriend. That was something she hadn’t considered until now. In her heart she had always hoped he would wait for her, but she had no right to expect that. After all she had waited for him since the day she was born, and there was nothing she could do to change how she felt about him. Even after spending five years away from him, she had spent the best part of everyday missing him, wishing she could see his smile, hear his voice. Every morning when she woke up, she almost left the security of her own life and ran back to Xander, the one person who made her feel whole, loved and safe.

Xander opened the door and was greeted by a small child rushing to his knees. Willow watched as Xander tenderly grasped the child in his arms. The child’s blonde hair brushed against Xander’s neck. Willow’s heart sank as she watched him with the child, thinking that perhaps he’d moved on happily without her.

Jack lifted his head from Xander’s shoulder and for the first time glimpsed the beautiful lady standing his Uncle’s hallway. It was the lady from the photograph. He smiled at her, then turned to whisper something in Xander’s ear.

Willow was fascinated by the child. His features seemed familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it until Xander stepped back revealing the child’s parents.

Buffy’s mouth dropped open when she realised who was standing in the hallway. She couldn’t believe her eyes. For a minute she thought she was dreaming. Her hand grazing her husband’s arm, asking for reassurance that she wasn’t hallucinating.

Oz turned towards Buffy and smiled reassuringly, he hadn’t thought he would see Willow again. She had been his first real love, but he knew that she had never really felt the same way about him. She had always been in love with Xander. Something he had never really understood, well not until Willow left.

After Willow had left Xander had changed, so much of who he was as a person was linked with Willow, he had become vulnerable and reliant upon his friends. It had taken Buffy, Giles and himself a long time to help Xander deal with Willow’s departure and along the way they had become real friends. Until then they had always been rivals for Willow’s attention. Without her, they had forged a strong friendship which had seen them through several battles on the Hellmouth.

Oz knew now what Willow saw in Xander, he really was a true friend who would defend you in the face of death, and cheer you up with his wisecracks. He had hoped that Willow would return one day so that she and Xander could work out their relationship.

Willow nodded, shocked to see her other best friend and her ex-boyfriend together.

Buffy rushed forward and enveloped her friend in her arms. Her warm tears cascaded down her cheeks, full of relief that her friend was safe and back where she belonged.

Jack watched his mother and father hug their friend, his mother’s eyes filled with tears. He was confused. Surely Aunt Willow coming home was a good thing, so why was his mother crying?

"Mommy, why are you crying?" he asked. He could feel his own eyes filling with tears, he hated it when his Mommy cried.

"Because I’m happy ,sweetheart." she replied, smiling at her beautiful son. She looked again at Willow. "Willow, I would like you to meet your nephew, Jack." Buffy smiled as she turned and took the child from his Uncle’s arms.

Jack extended his arm, just as Grandpa Giles had taught him when he met new people. He smiled as Willow grasped his hand gently and spoke to him, her eyes glinting with joy.

"He told me I had to be p. . .pl .. .plite" Jack nodded as he replied, unable to formulate the word his Grandpa had told him to use on such occasions.

"Did Santa come?" Jack asked, changing the subject, desperate to look under the tree.

"I think so Jack. But you had better check, just to make sure he didn’t forget." Xander teased.

Jack grabbed Willow’s hand as soon as his mother released him from her arms, and dragged her into the living room to look at the tree.

Willow followed the child eagerly, swept up in his enthusiasm for the holiday. She smiled as she saw the tree. It had been decorated with popcorn and candy and beautiful fairy lights that sparkled and glittered. She had always wished for a Christmas Tree, but being Jewish she’d never had one. As a child she’d always enjoyed Xander’s, spending the holiday with his family, well before things started to change. His parents had been so nice then, before his Mother turned to alcohol and his Father became aggressive.

The child’s eyes widened at the beautifully wrapped packages which surrounded the base of the tree. He bent down on his knees and eagerly began to touch them, desperate to find one with his name on.

Buffy’s voice stopped the child. "Remember Jack, you have to wait for Grandpa and Grandma to arrive before you can open your presents."

He turned to look at his mother, a perfect puppy dog expression on his face. She knew exactly where he had learned that trick. Willow glanced at Buffy and smiled. She was finally home.

When Giles and Joyce arrived, Willow was once again engulfed by her friends. She had forgotten how good it was to be with her friends. In Washington, where she lived now, she had acquaintances, but she hadn’t allowed anyone to get as close to her as her friends in Sunnydale had.

She was happy in Washington, but not as happy as she was now, back home with her true family.

Dinner was just as she expected it to be, filled with laughter and happiness. Everyone doted on Jack, who enjoyed being the centre of attention.

Willow felt Xander’s eyes on her throughout the meal. Occasionally she was brave enough to return his look. She knew they needed to talk, but that time would come. Later.

Xander couldn’t help but watch her, checking that the past four hours hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. She was really here. Really sitting at the kitchen table eating Christmas dinner with Buffy, Giles, Joyce, Oz, Jack and himself. Obviously Santa was listening this time, he thought.

He had been shocked when Willow had handed him the letter he and Jack had written to Santa. Then he recalled the conversation with the man in the mall a couple of weeks earlier. Well if vampires and other demons really existed, there was nothing to say that Santa couldn’t also be real.

He smiled, his wish had been granted. Willow had come home. All he had to figure out now was how to make her stay. He didn’t think he could cope if she walked out of his life again. As he ate, he promised himself that before the day was over, he was going to tell her how he felt about her, before it was too late again.

Jack ripped open the package eagerly. His small fingers tearing the decorative paper into shreds. He smiled eagerly as he pulled out a Snoopy wearing a pair of shades. The present had been from Uncle Xander. They had spent the past week watching A Charlie Brown Christmas together, and Uncle Xander had been teaching him the Snoopy Dance.

Willow giggled at the memory of Xander dancing the Snoopy Dance. Obviously he was carrying on the tradition of Snoopy with the next generation.

They all watched eagerly as Jack opened all of his packages. A range of new toys and shredded wrapping paper littered the carpet.

Xander leapt to his feet after Jack finished looking at his last present. He scooped up the wrapping paper and made an announcement to his friends. "Jack and I have been practising a little something for today. It’s even more special now that Willow’s come home," his eyes met Willow’s and held them, a smile crossing his handsome face.

Willow grinned as she instantly recognised the music. The Snoopy Dance! She watched as they began to dance. Both out of sync with the music, but dancing with moves that still made Willow’s heart leap.

Jack emulated Xander’s moves to perfection, his hips swaying and arms moving just as his Uncle had taught him.

The grown ups in the room giggled and laughed at their performance. Jack smiled as he saw his Aunt Willow smile. Uncle Xander had been right, she had a pretty smile. Jack really liked her and hoped she would stay. He had seen Uncle Xander smile more today than he had ever seen before.

As the music finally ended, Xander and Jack stopped, both slightly out of breath. They bowed to their audience, and the air was filled with applause.

Xander had watched Willow as he danced, pleased to see her face filled with happiness. He had caused that. He felt the warmth of his love for her fill his heart even more. Today for the first time in five years he felt almost complete.

Willow watched Jack as he slept on the sofa, his eyes scrunched up in slumber, his blonde hair falling into his face. Willow gently swept the stray strands from his eyes and smiled. Her friends lives had changed dramatically since she’d left: Buffy and Oz marrying and having a child. Joyce and Giles finally getting together. The only person who hadn’t really changed was Xander, and for that she was truly grateful. She hadn’t noticed Buffy walk into the room and stand next to her.

Willow nodded and followed her out onto the porch. They sat together on the swing seat that she’d spent hours swinging on with Xander as a child.

"Are you planning on staying?" Buffy asked, heading straight for the important question.

"If you leave again, I don’t know how he’ll handle it. He was devastated when you left before. It took a long time for him to recover. The only time I’ve seen him happy is with Jack, until today. You being here has changed everything. He’s truly smiled for the first time today, all because of you."

"I didn’t realise." Willow whispered, scared of admitting everything, even to Buffy.

"He loves you Willow. He always has. Just as you love him. Even now I can see it. The way you look at each other. The way you speak to each other. If you can’t admit it to him, admit it to yourself. Make yourself happy Willow. Life’s too short not to take risks. I took a chance on Oz and I’m happy, I have Jack."

"I still love him Buffy, I don’t know how to stop, I don’t think I could ever stop. I’m scared to tell him. I left him, five years ago without saying goodbye. I return without a warning, for me to tell him I love him too will probably be too much. He probably hates me for leaving. I’m scared. . . ."

Buffy reached out and held her friend. "Take a chance Willow, he’s waited five years for you. Missed you. Give him the chance to reach out to you again."

Buffy felt Willow nod against her shoulder. She carefully let go of her friend and stood. "Merry Christmas, Willow. You know where I am if you need me."

Willow watched the sun set before returning to the safety of Xander’s house. She knew that being in Sunnydale, especially after sunset, had increased health risks.

She opened the door and was greeted by Buffy, Oz, Giles, Joyce and Jack preparing to leave. Buffy had her sleeping son cradled in her arms, Oz, Giles and Joyce were weighed down by Jack’s presents.

She smiled, five years ago everyone was concerned with saving the world, today it was still important but their values had changed. Family and friends were important, more important than fighting any demon. Willow understood that now.

She held the door open and stood on the porch with Xander as she waved to her friends. They watched their cars disappear into the night.

"Can’t you stay?" he asked hopefully, not wanting to let her go, now that she was finally here.

He nodded, afraid his voice might betray him, as he was sure it would break with the emotions he felt surging through his body.

"You can stay in the guest room." He gestured towards the door, and they went back into the safety of Xander’s home.

They put Willow’s suitcase into the guest room and returned to the living room. They sat opposite ends of the room, watching the sparkling decorations on the tree. The room was filled with tension, both scared about how to broach their feelings.

Finally Willow stood up and admired the tree. "I always wanted a Christmas tree." "This room looks perfect with one, doesn’t it?" Her fingers played idly with the tree’s needles. Until she caught a glimpse of a decoration she hadn’t noticed earlier. It was a photograph in a heart shaped frame. She reached out and grasped the photograph, looking at it closely. It was of her, taken shortly before she left. It was after she’d broken up with Oz. She’d spent the day with Xander and Buffy enjoying the freedom of daylight. Xander had taken photographs of both of them. She felt tears well up in her eyes. He had kept the picture and put it on the tree.

She didn’t hear him approach her from behind. She felt his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. He gently placed his hand under her chin. Lifting her face, he gazed into her beautiful emerald eyes. Willow met his gaze, feeling his eyes searching her own. His touch sent shivers up and down her spine.

"I should have said this a long time ago, Willow." he stated before inhaling deeply. "I love you." He watched her face for a response, any response.

"You shouldn’t, I left you, hurt you. I’m not good for you." she replied, her head reeling from his admission.

"Willow! You’re the most perfect person I know. You’re the only one who is good for me. It should be me apologising. I was the one who ignored your feelings as we grew up. Scared by how strongly you felt for me. I was scared by how much I loved you, needed you. I told you once, how much I loved you. But you didn’t hear me, you thought I was Oz."

"It was you?" she asked incredulously, realisation finally dawning. It was Xander who had told her he loved her when she had been unconscious in hospital. She had asked for Oz. Expecting it to be him to admit his feelings for her, not Xander. "Why didn’t you fight for me after the clothes fluke? I told you I loved you and you ran into Faith’s arms?"

"I was scared Willow. I knew I could never be good enough for you. Oz was the best person for you then, he loved you, took care of you. He was everything you needed everything I couldn’t be."

Willow grasped his chin and lifted it so that she could look him in the eyes. "He wasn’t you Xander. He could never be you. I’ve loved you since the day I was born, I’ll love you until the day I die. I’ve wasted five years of my life running away from my feelings and my friends. I can’t run anymore. I need to be honest with you, with myself. I love you."

Willow nodded in affirmation. "I could never be truly happy. . . . . . without you. "She wished she could take the last five years and have lived her life the way she really should have. "I love you Xander, I have no right to ask you to love me back.

"Willow, I love you more than anyone or anything in the world. I moved here to try and bring you back into my life. The last five years have been empty for me without you."

Their heads moved slowly together, their lips meeting and sealing their declarations to the other. The kiss intensified, their bodies releasing the emotions they had hidden from the other for too many years.

Finally needing air, the kiss ended. Willow had never felt as complete as she had in that moment. Her world was complete. She was finally home with Xander.

Xander looked into her beautiful face, feeling complete, everything was perfect. Willow was home, hopefully to stay forever.

Neither noticed the letter hanging from the branch of the tree. Gently swinging in the breeze.

As Xander packed away the decorations he found a strange letter, balancing precariously on the tree.

He called to Willow who was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She came into the living room and sat beside Xander, who was staring intently at the envelope.

Merry Christmas. Xander, your wish has been granted, I’ve given you the opportunity to start again.

Be honest with each other and enjoy your lives together. You were meant to be together, you’ve just taken a little longer than most to realise it.

Willow looked at Xander, her face filled with questions Xander knew he didn’t have the answers to.

Willow leaned forward and kissed him. Knowing that as long as they were together everything would be alright, as it was meant to be.

Willow sat on the floor watching the lights glint on the tree. Her arms cradled her daughter, their daughter. The tiny baby sat fascinated by the movement of the lights. She gurgled from the safety of her mother’s arms.

Willow turned her head towards the door and saw Xander watching them intently. She smiled.

He returned her smile and walked towards her, sitting next to her. His arm draping easily around her shoulder, his other hand caressed their daughter’s head.

"Merry Christmas," Xander whispered gently, his lips grazing her neck as he spoke.

"Merry Christmas, Xander," Willow replied, before her lips met his, their passion and love connecting again as it had during their first kiss next to the tree two years before.

A picture of the three of them was hanging from the tree in a heart shaped frame. The one which had once held the precious photograph of Willow was now filled with the first photograph of the new family. The family that was meant to be.

From the safety of his hiding place, Santa watched as they sat in front of the tree cradling Beth, their baby. His heart soared with joy. If only everyone believed in Santa, he thought. The world would be a much happier place.