The sun was shining brightly up above and not a single cloud hung in the bright blue sky. Nor was there any sad faces among the crowd as all 32 citizens of Harmony gathered to enjoy the fun and festivities of the 205th annual Harmony Carnival. Even Tabitha and her doll Timmy decided to join in on all the fun. Everyone was having a blast........
"MIGUEL! NO!" Charity suddenly shrieked loud enough to make a deaf person's ears bleed.
"What's wrong, Charity?" Miguel asked with concern.
"I changed my mind, I want vanilla," she replied calmly.
"Sure thing sweetie," Miguel said with a weird look on his face as he walked back to the ice cream stand.
***
"Charity, CHARITY," Miguel called out holding two cones of ice cream. "Here's your vanilla."
"Um.....Miguel, I changed my mind. I don't want any ice cream."
"But, Charity...."
"I know," Charity cut in. "But, I just had a premonition."
"A premonition?" Oh boy, Miguel thought, here was go again.
"Yes!" she said, her voice rising toward panic. "It was so horrible Miguel. I saw that I ate the ice cream and I got all fat and ugly...like Ivy Crane."
"But, Miss Crane isn't fa-"
"Yes she is Miguel. I never want to be like that Miguel. Never. Never. Never."
"It's okay, Charity," Miguel soothed. "If you don't want to eat the ice cream you don't have to.
"Thanks Miguel. I love you."
"I love you too, Charity." Even if you're the craziest girl I've ever met.
Man I really need to pee, Charity thought to herself fifteen minutes later. "Uh, Miguel, I have to go pee. I'll be right back, okay?"
Seeing a smile spread across her sweet and innocent face, Miguel felt himself fall in love all over again. Gosh, she was so darn CUTE! "Okay. I'll wait right here for you, bony butt."
Meanwhile.................
Kay had also decided to make a trip to the ladies room. She walked into one of the stalls, sat down and noticed there was no toilet paper. She reached her hand under the adjoining stall and grabbed the roll of toilet paper. Now sitting comfortably on the toilet seat, she began to day dream about Miguel, her one and only. Or soon to be anyway.
Her fantasy suddenly vanished as she heard the sound of the restroom door open and someone's footsteps moving closer. " golly !" she whispered to herself. "If someone catches me taking a crap, it would be so embarrassing.....Oh my God, what if Miguel were to find out?" She took a deep breath. "Calm down, Kay," she told herself. "There's nothing to worry about. I'll just sit here till whoever it is leaves."
Kay peered through the vertical cracks on the stall and noticed that it was only Charity. What a relief, her forever faithful cousin wouldn't tell anyone but she decided to stay put anyway.
Charity stepped inside the stall next to Kay's. "Oh no, there's not toilet paper," she wined, planting her hands at her hips.
"It was Kay," a mysterious male voice whispered in Charity's head.
"Wh-Who sa-said that?" Charity stammered in fear.
In her stall, Kay made a face. Who was Charity talking to? 'Geez, my cousin really is a nut case!'
"The person who took your toilet paper," echoed another voice. "It was Kay."
"Now your panties will be all wet," said yet another. "Kick her sinful, stealing ass."
"She did it on purpose."
"Yes, " Charity said in a hypnotic state. "I will kick her sinful stealing ass."
Standing, Charity pulled up her pants and walked out of her stall to Kay's. She kicked open the door, staring with murderous eyes at Kay who was still sitting on the toilet seat. "You bitch!" Charity hissed, grabbing a fist full of Kay's hair and dragging her out of the stall.
"Ahhh!!!!Charity let me go! What's wrong with you???" Kay screamed but Charity wasn't satisfied until she had beaten the living golly out of her. Leaving Kay lying motionless on the floor, Charity rushed out of the restroom, fists clenched, ready to do more ass whipping. But as soon as she walked through the door she forgot what she wanted to do. She couldn't remember anything. She lifted her hand that was throbbing. "Oh, Fudge! I broke a nail," she exclaimed then looking at her other hand she wanted to cry. "SIX NAILS!"
She took a deep calming breath and counted to ten. It worked, she felt her jolly old self again immediately. "Well, I guess I'll go find Miguel now," she said and skipped happily through the crowd in search of her lover boy.
One hour later...........
Grace stepped inside the bathroom to take a leak only to find her bruised and bloody daughter, passed out on the floor. Her first concern was all the germs she'd probably contracted from lying on the dirty floor of a public bathroom so she didn't make any move to touch her daughter.
"SAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM" she yelled consecutively without stopping to take a breath instead of rushing to her daughter's side.
Miraculously, Sam who was on the other end of the carnival, explaining to TC how he manages to keep himself looking so young and fit and tanned at his age, heard his wife's unmistakable screeching. With lightening speed, he ran through the crowds, knocking down any poor soul that got in his way, and made it to Grace's side in record time. "Grace, honey, what happened?"
Grace had a look of awe when she saw Sam kick open the restroom door and rush in shirtless. "Sam how did you get here so fast?"
"Well I am the chief of police Grace. Not to mention the strongest guy in Harmony," he said, admiring his rock hard muscles in the bathroom mirror. Then he frowned. "Grace do you think I need a tan?"
"Sam, no. You're already red as a lobster."
Frowning, Sam turned away from the mirror to look at his wife. "So why were you screaming, honey."
"Oh yeah, I just saw her lying here."
Sam followed her gaze to Kay, who still lay on the floor unconscious. He rushed to her side and tried to wake Kay up but to no avail. "Kay! Kay! KAY! KAY! KAAAYYY, Honey, KAY"
Grace covered her ears. "Saaaaaaaam, please stop shouting or you'll invite evil into Harmony again."
"Grace, go get Eve Russell," Sam shrieked at his wife, his panic rising.
"But, Saaaaaaaaam........." Grace whined.
"Grace I'm the Chief of Police. Do as I say or I'll be forced to arrest you for not cooperating. Besides our daughters life is in jeopardy. Now go get Eve. She's the only doctor in Harmony that can help us."
Grace rushed out of the restroom, running around the carnival frantically, looking for Eve, who was no where to be found at the moment. Finally she spotted her in an abandoned tent, making out with some old white guy. As she approached the smooching couple, she realized the man was Orville.
"EVE!" Grace gasped in shock.
Eve spun around to face her best friend, who's mouth was hanging open. "Grace. What are you doing here? I was just giving Orville here, mouth to mouth resuscitation. I noticed that he had stopped breathing so I had to save him," Eve stammered nervously as she pushed the overly excited old man aside and took Grace by the arm, leading her out of the tent. "He's all right now."
"It's okay Eve. You don't have to lie to me, I'm your best friend remember. I've known for quite a long time now that you have a thing for old white guys."
Eve looked stunned. "How did you know Grace?"
"Oh come on Eve, don't think I haven't noticed you checking out Father Lonigan's tushy every chance you get."
"Please don't tell TC. If he finds out, He'll kill JULIAN!"
"Julian?"
"Never mind. Tell me, honey why were you looking for me? Did you faint again. I should check your pulse and make sure your okay. I'll need you to take off your blouse. Maybe you should take off your bra too."
"I didn't faint Eve. I'm fine."
"Are you sure. I better take you to the hospital so I can do a more thorough examination of you."
"No Eve, it's not me. I'm fine. Something awful has happened."
"Did Sam get another tan???"
"No. It's kay. She's been brutally beaten."
"Oh, no. Did she piss off TC again?!"
"I don't know, Eve. I found her unconscious in the ladies restroom. You have to come and help her Eve."
"Okay. Let's go."
***
By the time Eve and Grace arrived at the ladies restroom, a crowd had gathered to see what all the commotion was about. Eve rushed to Kay, and knelt down beside her.
"Kay. Kay honey. How do you feel?" Eve asked as Kay finally started to open her bruised eyes.
"Chawity......Chawity," was the only word that she managed to get out past her extremely swollen lips.
"You want some tea?" Grace asked, trying to make out her daughters words.
"No, CHAWITY," Kay said again.
"No sweet heart, it's Dr. Russell," Eve cooed in a soothing voice.
"No. I mean CHAWITY di dish to me."
"Oh, you mean CHARITY," Reece said as he touched quays matted hair. "Your still a little out of it, my sweet little pocket PC. But I still love you, even if you look like a drunk raccoon. Not to worry though, there are lots of websites on the Internet that feature ways to cover up scars and bruises."
Kay glared at him, then said through her teeth," Get the blubbering Geek away from me before I shove his coke bottle glasses down his throat!"
Reece immediately backed away. Kay took a deep breath to calm down. "Why isn' anywone wistening to me. Chawity, bea me up. She dish this to me."
Eve laughed. "That's impossible Kay. Charity is a sweet innocent girl. She couldn't hurt a fly. You must still be a little delusional after taking that nasty blow to your head. I can actually see the knuckles of a fist indented on your forehead."
Kay sat up, touching her fingers to the bruise Eve had indicated. "I'm not dewusional. CHAWITY bea me up."
"Kay, that's enough," Sam scolded. "Our sweet little Charity didn't do anything."
Charity, who had been watching silently through the whole thing, came forward. "Kay, I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that."
Miguel had had enough of Kays ranting. "How could you say something like that about my sweet cute little snuggle butt," he said, putting a comforting hand around charity's 5 inch waist.
Luis stepped forward. "You know I bet those bastard Cranes are behind this. They put her up to it. Damn them. As soon as I marry Sheridan I'll be able to bring those bastard Cranes down, those bastards. Damn those bastards!"
Just when he thought he would blow up from sheer hatred for the bastard Cranes, he felt Sheridan's warm hand on his arm. Calming down immediately, he leaned in close to whisper in her ear, " Hey, hun bun, there's an empty stall." He flashed her a million dollar smile, lifting his eyebrows at her.
"Oh Luis" Sheridan giggled, stepping over Kay as she tailed after Luis to the empty stall.
"Hey wait a minute," Gwen said and everyone turned to look at her. "She might be telling the truth."
"Who?" Grace asked, a confused look on her face.
"Kay, you idiot."
Grace blinked. "Oh, right."
"What reason could she possibly have to lie?" Gwen reasoned.
"That's enough Gwen!" Ethan yelled, his features holding frustration and confusion. "I'm marrying Theresa and that's final!"
He stared at all the faces focused on him. "What?"
Chad shook his head. "Yo, dat fool on crack or somethin, cause no body dat dumb."
Suddenly, Grace fainted but no one seemed to notice. Or maybe they just didn't care anymore.
"Leave Kay alone," Whitney said.
"I'm not wying, pwease you haff to bewieve me," Kay begged, desperate to make everyone believe her.
"Kay I hope this is not another one of your plots to get Miguel. You just got your soul back. You can't have sex wit Miguel," Simone said, not realizing she was revealing Kays secret to half of harmony.
"SIMONE!!!"
"Kay, now I understand you want my brother. Don't worry, Fate will hook you up with him just like it hooked me up with Ethan. It's Fate, I tell you. Fate. Fate. Fate," Theresa chanted happily, staring into space.
"Los Mios," Pilar said wearily. "Theresita, shut your trap before I have to smack you Meja."
"Mama, how can you talk to me like that in front of Ethan?" Theresa cried, bursting into tears. "Why Mama?"
She was ignored.
"No. dish isn't a pwot to get Miguel. I'm not wying," Kay told them, then pointed an accusing finger at Charity. "That evil girl did dish to me." She tried to get up Btu became dizzy. "Dr. Russell, I think I nee to go to the hospiwal."
"No Kay, you'll be just fine. You just need some rest. It's your mother I'm concerned about. I should take her to the hospital to check her pulse," Eve said, poking a still unconscious Grace with her foot.
"Okay, folks. Show's over. Lets get home and solve this over a cup of tea," Sam suggested, clasping his hands together.
To Tabitha's dismay, everyone regrouped at her house to solve the mystery of Kay's attack. During which she persuade 5 people to go into her basement, dropping Harmony's population to 27 citizens. Pretty soon the whole town would be free of all the do-gooders and she would finally be able do what she wanted with it- turn the place into the biggest nudist community in New England.
Eve had finally managed to hypnotize Charity and start asking her questions. "Now Charity, I need you to tell me the truth and nothing but the truth. Did you beat the living golly out of Kay?"
Charity staring out into space, responded in a low eerie voice, "Yes. I mean no. The voices made me do it."
"The voices?" Eve asked, frowning at the young girl.
"The voices," Charity echoed. "The voices told me to do it."
"It's Evil I tell you. Evil has come to Harmony, again, and possessed our poor innocent Charity," Father Lonigan declared and to everyone's shock, he started beating Charity with his cane. "Evil be gone. Leave this girl."
Everyone was too stunned to do anything more than stare at the blind Priest as he continued his brutal effort to rid Charity of the evil that held her.
***
After Father Lonigan committed to the Mental Hospital For Psycho Priests in Boston, Charity underwent three months of psychological therapy as well as plastic surgery to fix her broken face.
Ever since watching Father Lonigan beat Charity, Eve was more convinced than ever that The Father was the sexiest man she'd ever laid eyes on. So every weekend, she went to visit him at the mental hospital, using her age old excuse of visiting a patient.
Sam got a nasty rash from a fake tan but insisted it was from eating Grace's tomato soup cake, giving his wife an emotional breakdown.
Kay convinced more than ever that she was the girl for Miguel, slept with Reece, got pregnant, then drugged Miguel, stripped him naked and got into bed with him, making it appear as if they had sex, told Miguel two days later she was pregnant with his baby, Miguel fell for it, and they lived unhappily ever after.
Luis and Sheridan were put on the missing persons list for two months........... but later were taken off once they were found in the carnival's restroom stall still having sex.
Three months later, as Simone was walking down the sidewalk happy as a beaver when she heard someone walking up behind her. She quickly glanced behind and saw only a bush move.......she started getting worried. she walked faster and faster when suddenly a smiling Charity popped outta the bush in front of her. Simone let out a shriek then realizing who it was she calmed down and said" charity you scared the hell outta me. well i see they let you outta the nut house....haha.... sorry but that's so funny. OK well i gotta go home and wash Chad's underwear .bye"
Charity who was hurt by Simone's words said "OK well bye." She watched Simone walk down the side walk.
Then suddenly she heard "we're back!" echoing in her head.
"No. please no leave me alone" charity screamed as she hit her head with her fist non stop in an attempt to stop the voices.
But it was no use, in an instant she was in another hypnotic state again as she walked down the side walk till she got to the crossing where Simone was waiting to cross the street. "Oh hey Charity what's ha-" was all she got out as she was pushed in front of an oncoming truck.
Charity watched as Simone was knocked 120 from where she'd been standing. "That'll teach you to wear neon yellow pants!"
THE END