Prologue
Sheridan pulled the covers away from her body and gently got out of bed. She didn’t want to wake him up. His sandy colored hair was ruffled from sleep and his breathing was steady. His mouth slightly ajar as he mumbled something incomprehensible in his sleep. She delicately ran her hand through his thick hair then softly pulled it away. Her slippers hardly made any sound on the carpeted floor as she walked out of the room to the kitchen. Glancing at the clock, she sighed as she sat down on the kitchen table her head in her hands. Memories of years before have been haunting her. Memories she wondered if she could ever let go. She can’t deny that they’ve been there all along. But in these few weeks they have been stronger than ever. Every night at around this time, 3:00 o’clock in the morning she would wake up to reminisce by the past. Ben would be deep in his slumber unaware of her movements. She gently massaged her temples as she remembered the day that changed her life forever. The day she thought would never come. It was six years ago. She was only sixteen but the day would be forever etched in her mind.
~~Flashback~~
“Hey Luis,” She said as she pulled away from his tight hug. Her childhood best friend was two years older than her but she really didn’t care. “So, why did you want to meet me here?” She looked around the park to signify her words.
“Umm, yeah! Sherry I need to tell you something.” It was the first time in her life she’d ever seen him so nervous. She was struck by fear at his nervousness.
“Luis, you know you can tell me anything right?” She put her hand on his shoulder for encouragement.
He shut his eyes and said the words he had wanted to say for awhile now, but he never got the nerve. “Sherry, I love you.” His eyes opened to witness her reaction.
She smiled. She couldn’t believe he called her to tell her that! “I know Luis. You’re my best friend of course you love me! I love you too!” She had a lot to tell him about what happened in school today. “Let me…”
He put his hands on her shoulders to silence her. She didn’t understand! He loved her! He really loved her. “Sherry, listen to me. I don’t mean I love you like I used to love you when we were kids. I mean I really love you Sherry.” She looked at him wide-eyed. In her whole life she hadn’t anticipated something like this to happen. She used to be surprised he hung out with her considering he was older than her but then she found out that Luis wasn’t one to mind ages. But for him to love her was far-fetched. His hazel eyes still gazed into hers hoping for a response that would turn his world around with joy, but he never got it. Disappointment and sadness were quickly washing away the hopeful look from his face. “Sherry?” He mumbled.
She gently pulled his hands away from her shoulders, “I’m sorry Luis. I’m so sorry.” He watched in disbelief as she turned her back on him and ran. Ran away, away from him. Now he lost her for good. She didn’t love him like he loved her. It was a mistake falling for your best friend and it always will be, he thought as he called her name after her.
~~End Flashback~~
Later after his confession of love things never got back to normal and a few weeks later he left. He left for good and she hadn’t heard from him ever since. It’s been six years since she’s last heard the voice of her childhood best friend. The worst part of all was that she found out she loved him long after he left and she still did. She always will…
~*~*~*~*~*~
He tossed and turned for the millionth time that night as she continued to watch him. His dark hair falling over his face as beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and formed on his chiseled chest. He always had a restless sleep. All because of her.
“Sherry...” He mumbled. Somewhat worriedly, she noticed. Her hand went up to wipe the sweat from his face and to brush his hair away from his eyes. He always dreamt of her whether it was bad or good she never knew. Sheridan Crane haunted his every thought, his every dream, and his every move. His childhood best friend whom he loved was never going to escape his life. She will forever live in his heart since she owned it.
Jennifer sighed silently as she lay back on the bed and thought about that day six years ago when he arrived at her doorstep. She was a mere girl of seventeen, and his gentleman manners got to her from the start. His killer looks played a big role in making her fall for him. He came to her broken emotionally and she took him in. As a friend at first then they grew closer until their relationship became intimate. How ironic first her emotionally broken roommate, now her loving boyfriend. He didn’t really love her, at least not like he loved Sheridan, but she loved him with all her heart. She glanced at him to find his hazel eyes watching her with a smile. “Sleep well?” She asked knowing the answer full well from what she had just witnessed.
“Yeah.” He lied as he remembered his dream. It was about her of course. He dreamt about her leaving but reality was the exact opposite. He left. He left from the pain he felt for loving her and not getting back the love he gave. The pain it caused him to watch her grow closer to her boyfriend at the time. So he left and never went back. He promised to always call but he never did from fear of the pain it would bring to hear her voice again. To know that she will never be his. Never love him. He ran his hand through his dark hair and turned to his girlfriend. It wasn’t fair for her. He knew it, but he couldn’t let her go too. She was his lifeline, the one that kept him going. She helped him through it all and he knew she loved him. He wanted to tell her he was sorry. Sorry for all the pain he had caused her for not loving her as much as she loved him. To tell her he was sorry that his heart belonged to someone else and it always will…
Chapter 1
The sudden urge to contact him was surging through her. She shuffled out of the uncomfortable kitchen chair and went to the living room. The stack of papers on the table caught her site and she searched for an empty one. Eager to put her emotions on paper and send it to him. Maybe, just maybe he’ll write back and tell her what he had been through the past six years. The thought of calling him had crossed her mind. Hearing his voice after so long would be painful. The thought of the loss alone was painful, but hearing him possibly in love with someone else would be unbearable. Walking back into the kitchen, she placed the empty white sheet on the table. She pulled a chair and eased herself onto it. The moment she held the pen all the emotions in her heart poured out on the cold white sheet filling it with words of joy, of love, but mostly of pain.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A couple of hours later she finally finished writing the letter. The letter that would hopefully connect her somehow to her love. The man she never had the chance to love because she didn’t allow herself. She fished through the stack of papers again. This time looking for the piece of paper Pilar had given her that held his address. The slip of paper came up and she held it up looking at the unfamiliar address. He was far, so far away. Even that thought sent shocks of pain through her. Knowing that it was possible for her to never see him again caused a burning sensation of unshed tears to form her eyes, but she refused to cry. No, not anymore. She had cried for his loss so many times she became tired of it. She went back to the kitchen and copied the address on the letter. Carefully, she slipped the paper into the envelope and sealed it. She lightly kissed it then placed it on the kitchen counter waiting to be sent to him. She turned away from the counter, a million thoughts racing through her head. Resting her hands on the tabletop, she stared out the kitchen window. Watched as the sun’s rays gently broke through the dark night, casting a warm glow on the quaint little town.
She jumped when she felt his arms around her waist. Then she slowly relaxed into his comforting embrace. His lips gently caressed her neck in attempt to soothe her pain. He felt it. Felt when she was not with him. When the memories of her lover consumed her. Taking her away from him for a period of time. It was happening a lot lately and it worried him. The thought of losing her was unbearable. “You know Sheridan you should wake me up when you can’t sleep.” His deep voice spoke softly into her ear, causing her to slightly shiver.
“I can’t wake you up when you look so peaceful in your sleep.” She whispered back, afraid that if her voice got higher it would ruin the scene present for her. The sun pushing its way through the darkness, and delicately pouring into the scattered houses.
“You have to. When we get married I don’t want to miss anything. If our little girl wakes up at night won’t you wake me up?” He mocked a hurt tone.
She turned in his arms to gaze into his light green eyes. “Of course I will. I wouldn’t let you miss up on something so wonderful.” She murmured as she gently kissed his lips. Though somehow the thought of having his little girl didn’t settle right with her…
~*~*~*~*~*~
His eyes fluttered open when the glare of the morning sun shot into the room. He groaned when he realized she had intentionally opened the shutters. “Jennifer, why did you do that?” His gruff voice sounded in the bright room.
“Rise and shine, honey!” She said with a teasing smile on her face. He grabbed a nearby pillow and threw at her. She caught it easily and threw it back shaking her finger at him. “Uh-uh be a good boy or else no breakfast for you.” Her brown eyes shone with playfulness as she winked at him.
“It’s Saturday Jenny! Why in heaven’s name did you wake me up?” He lazily got out of bed and headed towards the closed bathroom door.
“I was getting lonely.” She replied easily. She flashed back to the last time she’d seen him tossing and turning. It was a week ago. She was glad it stopped for a while. Even if it was only one week. It was the first time he doesn’t dream of her. The past week. She hadn’t dominated his thoughts for one whole week and she was glad Sheridan was slowly becoming a memory. She didn’t know what the sudden change was though. Maybe he just decided to let go…
~*~*~*~*~*~
He came out of the room dressed and looking as good as ever. He sat down on the kitchen table waiting for her to set breakfast just like she’d always done for him. She smiled at him as she placed his plate in front of him and took a seat at the round table. “The mail came in today.” She spoke softly, breaking the comfortable silence.
“I’ll go through it when we finish breakfast. What do you want to do today?” He asked, wiping his mouth with a tissue paper.
“I was thinking maybe we could visit Matthew and Leslie. She called me yesterday and asked if we could spend today with them. I told her I’ll ask you and call her back. So do you want to?” She picked up her empty plate and placed it in the sink.
“Yeah that would be great.” He followed her actions and then went to gather the mail from the countertop. He tossed them on the living room table and plopped down on the couch. Going through the mail wasn’t one of his favorite things to do but he had to do it. So far it was all bills, bills, bills… Then a letter for Jennifer from her mother. He put it aside so that he’d give it to her. He looked through the other senseless offers and bills until he saw an envelope with his name scribbled on the top of it. The handwriting eerily familiar as he flipped the letter over to check for any signs of the sender’s name. He threw aside the other letters as the one in his hand grasped his full attention. Leaning back onto the comfortable blue couch, he ripped open the envelope and unfolded the mysterious paper inside. The scent of the paper sending memories crashing into his life. Memories he had been able to rid himself of for the past week.
Dear Luis,
You’re probably wondering what made me write to you after so long. Six years, four months, and twenty seven days to be exact. As I am writing this I’m reliving the many memories we’ve created during our friendship. The friendship that was destroyed when it became love.
The day you confessed your love to me and I turned my back on you. It rained that day. The angels were crying for us. Crying for the lost friendship and for the never found love. And I think again, it was all my fault. I thought I could never feel for you. Feel the passion and love you were feeling for me. So you left. Left me alone to face the world without your shoulder to cry on. It’s ironic that the day you told me about your feelings it was the day Sam asked me out. I was so into him back then. Do you remember Luis? All the things I used to tell you about him. I came that day to tell you that we finally became a couple, but I didn’t have the chance to.
We used to sit by the fire on winter nights and I’ll tell you about my dream to have a lover that would always be there for me. My knight in shinning armor. And you, you would just laugh and tell me that such people didn’t exist. I meant to tell you that I found the lover I was dreaming of. It was you. It was you all along, but I never found the words to say. Never let my feelings show. Never realized my feelings until you left. I ask the heavens every night if it’s right to feel for you. And it’s as if I’m asking an angel, a voice would come upon me and tell me that it’s true. I never knew that love is like a train to catch and when it passes you by you can never have it again. I learned a lot when you left Luis. Left with your broken promises. Promises you made in the airport the day I watched you leave with pain in your eyes. Pain that I knew I had caused. It hurt me so much to think that I caused you all that pain. Maybe it is an illusion to wait for you and hope that someday the sun would shine through the clouds. To hope that you are strong enough to understand the decision I made. The lie I told because I was so young. Too young to understand the meaning of true love. To realize that it may exist between best friends. The thought of loving my best friend was a sin to me.
Sam and I never stayed together after that. Just a high school sweetheart that I let go off a year later. Then when I was twenty I met Benjamin. I was so crushed then. In such an amount of unbearable pain and he soothed me. He managed to ease my pain aside if only for a while. My heart though, it never seizes crying out for you. A month ago Benjamin asked me to marry him, and I agreed. He is my rock. I watched him today when I got out of bed to write this letter to you, and when I did that it made me realize just how much I miss you. Miss being with you. Just having you there by my side and telling me that everything is going to be alright. I thought about calling you before writing this, but then the thought pained me. It would be painful to hear your voice and find out you’ve fallen in love again. That you’ve been luckier than I am and were able to open your heart to someone new.
My life is so full of pain though Ben is always by my side. I know I cause him a lot of pain because I’m always so distant lost in the memories of you and me. Lost in thoughts of the love that could never be. It might sound selfish of me to say that it would cause me pain to know that you’ve found love again while I have a fiancé. Ben saved me from a life of loneliness and pain and for that I will forever be grateful to him. But I could never get myself to love him not until you release me. Release me from the love that bound us all these years ago. The love we never got the chance to live.
With the loneliness that will forever live in my heart I’m going to end this letter with the hope that you would send me back and tell me you’re fine. Just send back so that I could relive the connection we had by reading your words. The words you hoped to hear the day you confessed your love to me have never been said to anyone. And I wish that I could be with you right now and tell you the words you longed to hear. I’m sure you’ve moved on, but I have to say the words in my heart. I love you Luis. I always have but I never realized it till you left. I hope you know that I will love you till the day I die even if that came seventy years from now.
Love, Sherry
Tears constricted his throat as he read the last three lines over and over. She loved him? He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that she was writing to him after all those years. That she was going to get married soon. It was all so overwhelming. He felt the tears build in his eyes and blur his vision. A flood of memories rushed into his mind, causing him to see different settings and different conditions all at the same time. The day she ran out of school tears running down her face and how he was there just at the right time and she bumped into him. Flew into his open arms. Reveling in the feeling of warmth and safety he gave her.
“Luis, are you alright?” Jennifer’s concerned voice sounded like she was miles away from him. He heard it through a cloud of memories but it didn’t take him back to the present. Worried, she pulled the letter out of his numb hand and quickly went over it. It was her again! Wasn’t it enough that she was in his every thought or dream? Did she have to crash back into his life with a simple letter? A few words that ruined all the progress he had made in the past week. She looked at his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Staring out into space like he was seeing something she couldn’t see. Lost in memories of her.
“She loves me…” He whispered into the quiet room. Chapter 2
She looked on helplessly as he continued to stare at the ceiling whispers escaping his mouth. He was reliving his-their memories. It was painful for her to hear what he was saying. Whispering words of love and promise. Words of comfort and soothing. Words said to someone other than her. The woman he loved, not her. His demeanor changed and it was as if he was shaken out of his reverie. His eyes darted around to settle on the paper in her hand. He pulled himself off the floor and walked towards her. Easing the paper out of her hand, he ran over the last couple of lines. His eyes catching what he sought. Her address. He was going to write back to tell her that he’d never stopped loving her. That he never will.
“Luis?” Jennifer’s concerned voice spoke to him softly almost whispering. She was scared. Scared of him, for him. Scared that he might hurt her and scared of losing him to none other than his memories. His memories of her. He looked at her, his pained hazel eyes speaking volumes. Her hand went up to gently graze his shaven cheek. “Are you okay?” She whispered as she drew him in for a much needed hug. He leaned into the comforting hug the letter still clutched safely in his left hand. “Do you want me to leave?” She asked as she pulled out of the hug. Leaving him to his thoughts and feelings would be a good idea but she wasn’t ready for it. She didn’t want to leave him.
“No,” He choked out, his voice still strained by unshed tears.
“Can I read it?” She’d skimmed through it but she didn’t read it, she needed his permission first. She looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time since the whole ordeal started. He wasn’t the man she knew. The man she’d leaned on through all the hardships in her life. He was broken when he arrived but he had a goal then. A goal to get over her. How could a few words scribbled on a blank sheet have such an effect on him? Leave him more crumpled down and depressed than she’d ever seen him. ‘Easy’ her mind screamed, ‘One word from her could turn his world around.’ Too bad he didn’t love her as much as he loved his best friend.
He glanced at her then back at the letter in his hand. Pondering whether or not he will let her in on something so personal and private. Something only shared between lovers. Her dark eyes bore into his noticing the uncertainty and confusion. Finally his answer came out as nothing but a simple “Yes”. He reluctantly handed her the letter. Letter in hand, she sunk into the blue couch just where he sat a while ago with the same paper in hand.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Ben you better be taking care of our precious Sheridan!” Pilar warned playfully, carrying a plate of home-made cookies into the living room.
“Of course I am Pilar. Don’t you worry about her.” He wrapped his arm around Sheridan’s shoulder, pulling her tightly against him. Her head immediately rested on his shoulder, it was like second nature. They were sitting comfortably on the Lopez-Fitzgerald living room couch when Theresa burst into the room. Sheridan almost jumped out of her skin when the door burst open. His green eyes looked at her concerned. Rubbing her arm soothingly, pulled her closer to him and her head buried in his chest.
“Mama, how are you?” The bubbly young woman asked.
“I’m fine Theresita; besides missing your brother Luis everything’s ok.” Mentioning her son was something she did everyday. A habit she’d gotten accustomed to when he left. Today the habit was uncalled for especially in Sheridan’s presence. It slipped and it was going to have its consequences as all three pairs of eyes rested on the blonde wrapped up in his arms.
She tensed in his arms at the mention of the avoided name and subject. He cursed anything and everything that put distance between them as he watched her move uneasily. “Sheridan baby you know it’s ok to say anything you want to.” He murmured soothingly in her ear.
She took a deep breath and whispered, “I miss him too Pilar, so much…” It hurts inside; she wanted to add but decided to let it go. The image of his face dancing in her mind as her eyes fluttered shut. His dark hair, his amber eyes, his brilliant smile… Everything about him, just him.
“Sheridan I’m sorry hija, I didn’t mean for this to slip.” The older woman’s apology broke the tensed silence after Sheridan’s confession.
“Never mind Pilar. Really, I’m alright.” She sank back into his arms, seeking the comfort his embrace constantly provided for her.
“Mama, Ethan proposed to me!” The smile never leaving her face as she delivered the news, her arms wide open while she twirled around the room.
“I’m so happy for you, but you’re too young for this Theresita!” Pilar walked over to one of he chairs and settled into it.
“So he really did it!” Sheridan stated referring to her cousin, Ethan who was one year older than her.
“You knew?” Theresa asked in disbelief.
“Of course I knew silly, he’s my cousin and my closest friend!” She waved the younger woman off and took Ben’s large hand into hers, intertwining their fingers. She raised their joined hands up to her lips and brushed a kiss across his fingers. He smiled at her gesture and pressed a kiss to the top of her golden head. The scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils and giving him the most amazing feeling of warmth and love.
Theresa watched the romantic display and couldn’t help but picture her brother in Ben’s place. Her brother would be so happy, and so would Sheridan. There was something in her blue eyes that revealed a special feeling of loneliness in her. Every time Theresa would get her to slightly open up and reveal all her true feelings, she would just lock herself up again and throw the key into an ocean of sadness and longing. “Mama about Ethan. I don’t think we’re getting married until at least a year from now.” She said trying to break the sudden silence that befell on the room. She walked over and plopped down on the couch next to Ben.
Sheridan eased herself out of his arms and got off the couch. She walked over to the mantle where all the family pictures lay for the eyes of everyone. In the middle stood a picture of Pilar and Martin on Antonio’s graduation day. To the right of the picture stood his picture. He was standing while a puppy mingled between his feet. The puppy she’d given him on his seventeenth birthday. She placed a kiss on her fingers then gently brushed them on his beloved, smiling face. She remembered the letter she sent him and wondered if he was going to send her back. Well he had her address and if he did send back it’ll be in her house in a week.
~*~*~*~*~*~
He looked at her expectantly when she placed the letter on the table. “Are you going to write back?” She asked looking into his eyes hoping he would spare her the pain and just say no.
He nodded his head and turned his face away from her pained expression. “I have to.”
“Why?” She whispered as the first tears started running down her face.
“Because…” He couldn’t say it, couldn’t hurt her anymore.
“Because what Luis? Say it. We both know it so why can’t you just say it?” Sobs escaping her lips as she spoke to him. Screamed at him. “Because you love her. Isn’t that why? Please tell me I want to hear it straight from you. That you never stopped loving her. That you can’t give up on something… something that ended years ago. Hell it never even started.” Her words struck a nerve in him while she continued what was on her mind. “Just let it go. Or tell me that you love her. That you’re never going to open your heart to someone new…”
“Dammit! Yes! I love her. I never stopped loving her and you know what I don’t think I ever will. But she’s getting married, you read that didn’t you. Do you know how that makes me feel? Knowing that she loves me but she’s going to get married to someone else?” He backed up against the wall and slid down, his head in his hands. Ever since he’d read the letter the tears were in his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them drop. He wasn’t willing to. And they didn’t.
She looked at him, sitting on the floor his back against the wall his head in his hands. She was sure he was crying, crying for her. This time though, she wasn’t going to run to him and give him all the comfort he needed. She couldn’t, not after all the pain he caused her by his simple actions and words. Glancing at him one more time, her heart breaking as she grabbed her purse and walked out the door.
He lifted his face and looked around their apartment, just trying to relive any memories he and Jennifer had created, but… nothing. All he could see was her face, her hair, her eyes. Sheridan, she was everywhere he looked. He pushed himself off the ground and grabbed a paper from their living room table. Checking to see if it was blank he sat down on the couch and started pouring all his emotions on the paper. He wanted to tell her everything. But most importantly that he still loved her…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She sat on her kitchen table sipping at her coffee. The muffin in front of her looked appetizing but she wasn’t all that hungry. It was Friday morning, one day till the week ends and she gets a break. Even if it was only for a couple of days.
“Sheridan honey can you check the mail please. I really have to get going, I have an early meeting.” He tightened his tie as he walked over to her. “Thanks baby.” He kissed her cheek then walked over to the front door where his briefcase was. Picking it up, he waved and was out the door.
She sighed as she cleared the table and walked over to the kitchen counter where the mail lay untouched. She picked up the envelopes and went back to sit at the kitchen table. As she put aside a few of his mail she caught site of a letter addressed to her in a very special way. It said her name the way only one person said it. Luis. ‘Sherry’ was written in print on the envelope as she picked it up and tore it open…
Chapter 3
She stood by the kitchen window, the letter still clutched in her hand, unread. Millions of thoughts raced through her head as she stared blankly at the letter afraid that it would bring her nothing but pain and heartache. Taking in a deep breath she focused her eyes on it preparing for whatever came next.
Dear Sherry,
Receiving the letter you sent me was a shock, an unexpected one. I did wonder at first why you sent it, but the words made it all clear. I’ve got so much to say to you Sherry. So many things that I should have told you before I left and so many promises I should have kept. I regret so many things I did. Most of all I regret not giving you any space or a chance to realize your true feelings. What happened to our love was my entire fault. No one else’s and I never want you to blame yourself for that. I remember everything about us Sherry and I do remember the nights you mentioned. I also remember these same nights later in the evenings when we closed our eyes and vowed that you and I will always stand by each other for all time. I get so distant and emotional every time I think about all these things I shared with you.
I’ve even kept count of the Christmas vacations we spent apart. Six and on each and every one of them I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe. I could see you in Christmas time when the cold winter breeze would chill the air and you would tighten your jacket around yourself and your nose would obtain a rosy color. When springtime makes its way here, lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume. When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare, when you're not here it doesn't feel the same. And summer just reminds me of all the sand castles you used to build and fantasize of living in with ‘Prince Charming’. All four seasons remind me of you and they carry the loneliness I always try to escape.
I long for the warmth of days gone by when you were with me, next to me. It was so different back then, and I’ve changed so much. Inside and out. But now these days are just memories in time. Memories that at some times I wish I could forget and get on with my life, but it could never happen. Life’s so empty without you by my side Sherry. I miss you so much.
I have a girlfriend now but even so no one could ever take your place. No one could give my life meaning again but you. Jennifer doesn’t deserve this though. She doesn’t deserve the pain she is feeling over my-our past. I came to her when I left Harmony and she helped me get back on my feet, but Sherry I can’t seem to give her my heart. It’s like you’re holding onto it so much and you don’t want to let go. It’s the memories that bound us together Sherry and until we both release them our love will continue to haunt us and destroy our lives.
When I arrived here in New York I was like a stung bird so I kept myself sheltered in my nest, never getting the courage to get up and give my heart another try at love. Jennifer then was only my dearest friend, not my girlfriend. When I did get that courage up to love somebody new it always fell apart cos they just can’t compare to you. Then I settled for the safe decision and decided to get together with Jennifer. I knew she had feelings for me and I feel so dirty for taking advantage of her feelings to get the comfort I need from her.
I want so much for me and her to work it out but the memories, they never let me. Every time she catches me reminiscing about my old life a little bit of her heart breaks. So many pieces of her heart have been broken and I’m the only one to heal them Sherry, but that could never happen until we both decide to let go. She left me when she read your letter to me, she was so hurt. I felt like cradling her in my arms and giving her the comfort she always gave me, but your image was there and it seemed to call me, keeping me from reaching out to her.
It’s so hard for me Sherry, to realize that it had to end this way between us. But my love will never change. My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you and those feelings will never change. I want to move on with my life and make myself again-with Jennifer. My heart will always belong to you but I need to move on and let go. I want for me to be able to make my life like you’ve made yours…I have so much more to say to you. So many words that are found in my heart, but I can’t say anything anymore Sherry. All I can say is Goodbye.
This loneliness has crushed my heart. Please let me love again. I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain but I will never have it so let me have another’s love or four seasons will bring the loneliness again.
All I ask of you is both our releases, I want you to let go Sherry once and for all.
I hope you forgive me for this, and I want you to know that I will always love you angel, till my dying day.
With all my heart
Luis
Tears rushed down her face and soaked the letter in her hand smudging the written words. The realization of his request finally sank in as she walked backwards and fell into one of the kitchen chairs. He wanted her to let go of their love. How could he say something so cruel? She wanted to hate him for doing this to her, for dampening her hopes of a temporary connection with him. Most of all she wanted to hate him because everything he said was so true. They both had to move on and they couldn’t do that unless they both let go of the memories bounding them under ball and chain. All she wanted right now was the comfort of her fiancé’s arms. Jennifer, the name would always be in her mind as the woman who finally won Luis’s appreciation. Not his heart, his heart belonged to her and it always will for she was never going to give it back…
~*~*~*~*~*~
He knocked on the door again pleading with her to let him in, or to at least talk to him. But she wouldn’t answer and he could hear her soft cries from behind the wooden door.
“Jenny, honey, please can you open the door? I need to talk to you.” No response. “Please Jen… I really have to tell you something!”
“Still no answer?” Matthew asked as he passed by the door a beer bottle in his hand. Luis and Jennifer had been at this for a week, one whole week. Jennifer had come over the day they fought and when Luis came to talk to her she locked her self up in the guest room, refusing to let anyone in. Luis had been next to that door pounding on it 24/7. Didn’t she feel sorry for the poor guy? Matthew wondered silently, watching Luis sigh frustratingly and shake his head ‘No’. Matthew patted his best friend’s shoulder for encouragement and walked into the living room. “Leslie, why don’t you try talking to her?”
She glared at him. “Don’t you think I’ve already tried that?” She finally snapped when he didn’t get a clue. She was the only one let into the room just to give Jennifer some food, but she couldn’t betray her friend and let Luis in.
He rubbed his face and then opened his blue eyes. “Sorry,” Matthew apologized sheepishly. “I just miss ‘us’ times. They’ve been here for so long. I mean Luis has a blanket and a pillow outside her door for God’s sake!”
“Awww sweetie I know…” She told him, walking over to sit next to him on the couch and lightly kiss his cheek.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Luis looked on hopefully when he saw the door slightly crack open. Her head peeked out revealing her eyes and he saw how red and puffy they were from crying.
“Jenny…” He whispered hopefully when her brown eyes fixed on him.
“Luis, I don’t want to hear it…” He cut her off by standing up and silencing her with a finger to her lips.
“It’s over Jenny; it’s over for good…” The realization finally hitting him when he said the words out loud. He let her go, forever. “Shhh…” he murmured softly when tears started making their way down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs and pulled her in for a soft gentle kiss that spoke of all the promises he was going to make. Wrapping his arm securely around her waist, they walked into the guestroom and lied down on the bed.
“I love you.” Jennifer whispered, resting her head on his chest.
“I know…” He brushed a few locks of her brown hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead. Moments later she fell asleep for the first time in one week and soon enough he followed.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Leslie looked down the short hallway and was surprised to find the guestroom door open.
“What is it?” Matthew asked when he saw her tiptoeing to the guestroom.
“Shhh!” She held a finger to her lips. She stood in front of the door and took in the scene inside. “Look Matthew… They worked it out and they look so right for each other…” He hugged her waist from behind and kissed her cheek.
“Yeah they did work things out but…” He remembered the photo Luis had shown him of his past love, Sheridan Crane. She was the origin of his problems but the words his girlfriend said about Jennifer and Luis looking so right together… He wasn’t so sure.
“But what?” Leslie asked a frown forming on her face.
“Nothing just that I saw Sheridan’s photo and I just think that she and Luis look more right…”
“Matthew, how could you say that about our friends?” She started walking towards their room with him following behind.
“I-I, come on Leslie you know that I wouldn’t say that unless I’m absolutely sure it’s the truth! I saw a photo of Sheridan and Luis together and they look so… meant for each other!” Matthew crossed his arms across his chest.
“Matthew, are you trying to make me tell you to sleep on the couch? Well I’m not going to say that I want you right here by my side tonight.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards their bed…
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Benjamin Adams,” He answered the phone for the umpteenth time that day.
“Ben I’m so glad I got hold of you!” He heard Theresa’s panicked voice on the other end of the line.
“Theresa is everything alright. Is anything wrong with Sheridan?” Fear lacing his voice as he spoke.
“No… I mean yes. I don’t know she didn’t show up today!” She stumbled over the words when she tried to report to him the situation.
“I’m going to check on her,” Ben said hurriedly slamming the phone down. Grabbing his jacket, he continued his way out of the office building without even leaving a note of his sudden departure. His heart was beating so fast he could hear the pounding in his ears as he climbed into his car and turned the key in the ignition. The car’s engine roared to life and he sped off to their apartment not once hearing all the car horns, the pounding of his heart was much louder in his ears. He parked the car carelessly in front of the building and rushed out of it heading to the elevator that led to his apartment.
Panting, he opened the door and walked into the apartment, noticing nothing that was strange. “Sheridan?” His panic intensified when he got no response. The dim light from their bedroom door made him feel slightly better as he walked towards it cautiously preparing himself for anything. He peeked into the room and saw her sitting on the bed with her back against the headboard, staring at something in her hand. Her stare was so blank he wasn’t sure she was seeing anything at all. “Sheridan?” Ben repeated, walking towards her.
She’d made it to the bedroom somehow in her state of depression. Crying wasn’t an option anymore since she wasn’t so sure any tears were left at all. She heard a voice and she somehow knew it would bring her comfort. A large gentle hand caressed her face and brushed a few stray golden locks away from her face. Looking up from the letter in her hand, she found herself staring into the eyes of the purest green color she’d recognized. They held so much concern and love, the intensity of the emotions made her want to start crying all over again.
“Are you okay baby?” His voice laden with emotion as he spoke to her. The way he was talking to her and the love in his eyes made the tears spring back to her eyes. One by one the salty crystal droplets rolled down her cheeks and soft sobs escaped her lips when he pulled her to him. She clung to his shirt as she buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried. “Shhh, everything is going to be alright. I’m here now.” Ben whispered soothingly when he felt the warm tears soaking the top of his shirt. Little by little he felt her relax in his arms and the sobs began to slowly subside. He continued rubbing soothing circles on her back in attempt to make her pull away and tell him what happened.
Sheridan pulled away from his comforting arms and stared at him with red rimmed, puffy eyes. “He sent me back…”
“Who sent you what Sheridan?” Confusion apparent in his eyes as he asked the question… Finally she saw realization appear into his eyes and he whispered. “Luis…” He was the only one that could hurt her that much.
Chapter 4
Dear Luis,
You said Goodbye, but I didn’t and there are so many things that I have to say. I’m going to have to say them in a few words and hope you understand. I just can’t believe how times change and how everything else does too. Honestly I never thought we’d give this up. I thought it would live on forever even if it was only in our hearts. But you want to throw it all away. Something we’ve only built the day you read my letter and found out that I loved you.
You spoke of broken hearts Luis. You spoke of Jennifer’s broken heart and how you want to heal it. Broken hearts can only be healed by those who break them. What about my heart Luis? It wasn’t broken. No. it was shattered into a million pieces the day I read the letter and realized what you were asking of me. Who’s to heal my heart Luis, the one you broke. Perhaps it’ll be Ben, but he will only be able to heal it when I give it to him.
I tried to hate you that day but hard as I try this could never happen. I will love you forever. Till the end of eternity. Goodbye Luis.
I will let go of the memories to release you, but I will always carry them in my heart, buried in the depths of my soul.
Love, Sherry
Luis crumpled the brief letter in his hand. He never thought she would let go so easily. There was always a part of him that was sure this would never end. That it would last forever just like she said. ‘Goodbye Luis’ he could hear her angelic voice whispering to him before fading into a cloud of loneliness and leaving him alone.
“’Morning,” Jennifer yawned as she padded out of the bedroom, her brown hair tousled from sleep. He watched her intently while she walked into the kitchen and then came out again with a tray in her hand. “Oh, I just love Sundays!” Carefully she placed the tray carrying her breakfast on the living room table and plopped down on the couch. She glanced at him when she noticed he wasn’t responding to anything she said. “Luis?”
”Yeah,” He replied distractedly as his hand continued to fiddle unconsciously with the paper.
“What’s that?” She was afraid to ask. The past few days had been heaven on earth. She didn’t want anything to come between them now. He turned his face away from her dark gaze and looked out the window. “Luis, don’t try to hide anything I’m not your mom you know! I know what that is…”
“Jenny, listen to me it’s the last one. I promise. She just had to say Goodbye.” Looking at him uncertainly, she got up from the couch and pried the letter out of his hand.
~*~*~*~*~
“Why did you send him back?” Ben asked somewhat angrily.
“Calm down Ben, you don’t want to cause a scene in the middle of the restaurant!” Sheridan placed her hand over his and gently squeezed it to calm his flaring temper. “I wanted to enjoy a romantic dinner with you tonight…”
“You know something you’re right.” The look in his green eyes softened as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “But I just don’t understand why you care so much anymore… I mean what he said…”
“I know Ben, I just needed to say goodbye for good. It would help me get rid of all that bound us together.”
“You think so?” He asked. Just like a child on Christmas, she noticed. The look of hope shimmering in his bright eyes.
“I know so!” She smiled at him. There were times when she felt like she was dealing with a little boy. Not a man. It’s true that he was very responsible but his actions were so childish.
“Would you like to dance?” Ben asked, offering his hand when dinner was over. She graciously accepted his awaiting hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. She sighed sweetly when she laid her head on his broad shoulder. His arms tightened around her waist, bringing her closer to him. Glancing at her, he caught glimpse of her eyes as they fluttered shut. “I love you so much,” He whispered in her ear, her scent awakening sensations he’d decided to keep away. No Ben, you can’t do this. Just give her time, she needs it.
She didn’t make it any easier when she pulled away from his shoulder and briefly kissed his lips. Her tongue teasing all the sensations in him and making him want to scream with frustration. Was it going to happen tonight?
~*~*~*~*~*~
She smiled, but somehow it made him feel uneasy inside as he watched her walk towards the kitchen the letter still in her hand. Luis almost choked on his own tongue when she came out carrying a lighter. What the hell did she think she was going to do?
“Burn it Luis,” Jennifer held up the letter for him and threw him the lighter. He caught it, and looked at it as if it were the most hazardous thing in the world. “What are you waiting for?” She snapped when he didn’t budge.
“Are you serious? I-I mean why the hell would I want to do that?” Shoving the lighter back in his pocket, he ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair.
“You said you were going to let go! Well go ahead this is the best way. If you really meant it when you told me it is over then… Go ahead burn it!” She waved it in front of him and silently urged him to move forward. “I mean she doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. So why don’t you prove it?”
Sighing loudly he approached the letter and lifted the burning lighter to it. The paper easily caught fire and she handed it to him. He looked at the burning words as he watched the word Goodbye being consumed by the blazing flame. “Goodbye Sherry, I love you.” He whispered while watching the letter he held slowly burn into ashes. Dropping it to the table, he watched the fire die out, leaving the charcoal ashes lying around the floor. Luis fingered them one last time before he turned around to face an empty room. She’d left him to do this on his own. Looking at the ashes once again, he realized what he’d just done. He burnt her letter, burnt their connection. And God knew this is one more thing he regretted.
Chapter 5
He watched her turn the key in the lock. The door silently swung open and he wondered what was going to happen between them tonight. She’d been very intimate at the restaurant and he took it as a sign. He followed her to their room, taking his jacket off on the way and loosening his tie.
“Ben, can you help me with the zipper of my dress?” His breath caught. Why was she doing this to him? Did she enjoy torturing him?
She stood with her back to him, and he approached her, placing his hands on her hips. He caressed her hips with his hands, while his lips softly made their way up her neck. His hands traveled all the way to the top of the dress and stopped there. They lingered on her bare skin as he nipped at her ear, causing her to shut her blue eyes. Slowly he pulled down the zipper. “There,” He breathed into her ear and stepped back.
“Thank you,” Sheridan whispered, turning to face him. Tonight, she felt different. She grabbed his arm when he turned to leave. “Ben,” She said softly.
“Yeah,”
“Don’t go,” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him. Ben’s arms immediately hooked around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He took small steps, leading them to the bed and stopped once the back of her knees hit it. She ran her hand through his sandy hair when she pulled away to breathe.
Breathing heavily, his lips went to her neck trailing kisses along it as his hands pulled the straps of her dress down her shoulders, allowing it to slip to the ground. He pulled away, looking at her standing before him in nothing but her under garments. It affected him in more ways than one and he felt the need to rid himself of some of his clothes.
Hastily he unbuttoned his white shirt and pulled it down his shoulders. Then he pulled down his navy trousers, leaving him with nothing on but his blue boxers. Her eyes stared deep into his before he laid her down on the bed, and he noticed the fear and uncertainty clouding them. Deciding to ignore them, he let his hands roam her body as his lips trailed kisses all over it.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was starting to get colder, he noticed. She shivered when the cold breeze hit her. Wrapping his arms around her tighter, he pressed a kiss in her hair. Winter’s doors were already opening and Christmas was soon. It was two months away, his seventh Christmas without her.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Jennifer whispered, moving even closer to him on the bench that held them. The park was practically empty, yet she didn’t know why. It was too wonderful a day to spend indoors.
“Nothing much, I’m just thinking about how beautiful this place is,” Luis watched the wind ruffling the crisp fallen leaves and smiled. If only Sheridan were with him, she’d be pointing out every leaf and the distinguished way it’s flipping. She’d make him listen to their music when they rubbed against each other; she always made him listen to nature’s music.
“Do you miss her Luis?” She buried her head in his chest, preventing the blowing wind from tickling her face and ruffling her hair. “I promise I won’t judge you or get upset. I just like to know how you feel.” She assured him after noticing his slight hesitation.
“Honestly Jenny, sometimes I miss her a lot. So much I feel it tearing at my insides. I miss her all the time. Everything reminds me of her and it drives me crazy!” His hand smoothed her brown hair as he spoke to her.
“Do you miss her now? Are you thinking about her?” Jennifer felt the need to connect with him and to quit pushing him away. She had been pushing him away for so long now. Not allowing him to tell her how he felt about everything.
“Yeah Jenny, yeah.” Luis shifted in his seat, causing her to sit up. Cradling her face in the palms of his hands, he brushed away a few stray locks of her hair then softly kissed her lips. “I need you to help me.” He whispered just inches away from her lips. “I need you to help me get over her. I want to move on…”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Her eyes shot open when she felt his hand reach to the clasp of her bra. What was she doing? “Ben,” Sheridan said loud enough to make him leave his task and look at her. “Oh my God, we can’t do this!” She whispered trying to move underneath him.
“Why Sheridan? Baby trust me, we can do this…” Ben spoke into her ear, making her shiver. “Just let me lead you through it,” He trailed kisses along her jaw to her lips, kissing her softly there then pulling away.
“No. No. We-I can’t do this.” She gently pushed at his shoulders, but she was no match to his strength.
“Sheridan look at me,” He caught her chin in his hand with his other hand supporting him above her. Forcing her to look him in the eye, he saw the fear in her blue orbs. So many mixed emotions, but he couldn’t stop now. Not when he was this close in such a long time. Sure he was understanding and patient, but there was only a limit a man can take. And this was his; he couldn’t take living like this anymore. Hell he hadn’t slept with anyone in almost three years. Ever since he’d met her and fallen so deeply in love with her. “Try, for me baby. Please.” His green eyes pleading with hers, but she couldn’t.
With a more forceful push to his shoulders, she was able to slip from beneath him. “I’m sorry Ben, I-I just can’t do this.” She picked up the closest article of clothing she could find and wrapped it around herself.
His large white shirt engulfed her slim figure as she walked on unsteady legs towards the living room. She lay down on the couch, allowing the thoughts she’d been holding back to invade her mind. This was going to be a long night, especially now that she could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer…
~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 6
“Luis, are you sure it’s a good idea to call your mother now?” Jennifer asked, settling in the couch next to her boyfriend. “I mean it’s pretty late now in Harmony…” Their day at the park had been wonderful. They’d been able to reconnect just like the old days, when they could finish each other’s sentences off.
“Maybe you’re right but I really miss Mama!” His sparkling hazel eyes held nothing but love when he spoke of his mother. “I have to call her!” He insisted, and her lips curled into a smile at the determined look on his face. Right at this very moment, he looked just like a child refusing to listen to his mother’s words. Luis’s eyes held confusion at her apparent amusement. “What do you think is so funny Miss Jenny?” He smiled, pulling her into his lap.
She giggled when he lightly tickled her tummy. “Luis, you better call your mother. She would probably have a heart attack if you called her later than now!” Pecking his lips, she got off his lap and headed to their room to change. She’d planned a pretty special night for them.
Luis shook his head and chuckled softly as he watched his girlfriend walk towards their bedroom. He grabbed the phone off the hook and quickly dialed the numbers he’d memorized by heart. Pick up; pick up, he thought silently. Yeah as if that would help, he laughed at himself.
“Hello?” His mother’s worried voice was heard over the receiver.
“Mama?” Luis whispered, almost like a child.
“Hijo, I’ve missed you so much!” Pilar replied shakily. That voice, it was so comforting. He felt like a little boy again, and at this very moment he wanted so much to be in her arms like before. Six years without seeing his mother weren’t easy.
“Me too, Mama. I had to call you today. I just couldn’t take it any longer.” Luis rubbed his hand across his forehead in attempt to release some of the tension in his body. He caught his breath when he heard her quiet sob. My mother is crying? Why? The questions hung in his mind. “Mama, why are you crying? Is everything ok?” His concerned voice made the tears roll down Pilar’s cheeks, drenching her thin nightgown.
“I miss you, Luis. I need you here with me, to take care of your brother and sister.” She sobbed. And just then he released his breath and smiled. His mother’s tears were going to stop soon, he vowed.
~*~*~*~*~
Sheridan shifted uncomfortably in the couch under his piercing gaze. They’d been sitting like this for almost an hour. Neither speaking, just waiting for the other to start. Well she had nothing to say.
“Sheridan,” Ben’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m really sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me. I mean…”
“Ben, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” She met his gaze for the first time all night long. “I know it’s been a long time…” Sheridan murmured, snuggling deeper into his white shirt, his manly scent slightly comforting her.
He got off his seat and walked towards her. Kneeling down next to the couch, he took her hand in his, caressing it with his thumb. “I just don’t understand why you can’t go through with it.” He sighed, frustrated. “I mean, don’t you love me?” His green eyes burned into hers, pleading for an answer to all his questions.
“I-I’m not sure you want to hear this,” She shut her eyes, hoping his tortured green ones wouldn’t torment her. And wishing away the hazel ones that constantly haunted her.
“You still love him.” Ben stated matter-of-factly.
“I don’t.” She replied hastily, pulling her hand away from his burning touch.
He chuckled a little at the bizarre situation. “You do Sher; you don’t have to lie to me, baby.” His large hand cupped her cheek, and then softly brushed away a few stray locks of her golden hair.
“I’m not lying,” Blue eyes glared at him, angry at the accusation. And her chin jutted out stubbornly. The signs of the woman he fell in love with returning by the moment. She’d been gone so long, lost in the memories of the past. Now, she’s back, he smiled, revealing the hidden dimple in his stubble cheek. Blue eyes narrowed in confusion and he burst out laughing. “What?” Sheridan asked, getting angrier at him.
“Nothing, just remembering old times.” His laughter died out, bringing back the serious expression to his face. “But seriously Sher; you don’t have to lie to me. In fact, I’m hurt that you’re denying your feelings.”
She sighed in defeat. How could she lie to him? After all, he was her savior, her best friend, and her confident. “Yeah I still love him.”
“That’s why you can’t go through with it right?” Just a hint of accusation was touched in his voice, but she decided to ignore it.
“Yeah, I just can’t make l-love with you when…”
“When your heart belongs to someone else.” He finished for her, earning a nod from her blonde head.
“I’m sorry,” She whispered.
“I understand.” He replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead and lifting her tired form into his strong arms. Her head rested against his beating chest as he carried her to the room. Gently he laid her in the bed, tucking the covers around her and pressing one final kiss to her forehead. Walking towards the door, he smiled when he saw that she was already off in dreamland. “Goodnight, baby.” Ben whispered, before turning off the lights and noiselessly shutting the door. Tonight, he wasn’t going to sleep with her. She needed her space. Just tonight. Tomorrow though, he’d hold her just like he’d done every night.
~*~*~*~
“Luis, what took you so long?” Jennifer asked from behind the bathroom door.
“I’ll tell you when you come out. We have a few things to discuss…” Luis replied, discarding his black shirt and pulling down his faded blue jeans. Climbing into the warm bed, he switched on the bed-side lamp, patiently awaiting her arrival. Her brown eyes looked suspiciously at his position and the conditions in the room. Her gaze fixed on him as she walked over to the bed. A slight smile was on his lips, and she knew right then he was up to something. What it was… well that’s what she wanted to know! She gasped when he pulled her into bed and trapped her under him.
“Luis!” She scolded him. “You scared me half to death.” And a smile stole over her lips at his concerned hazel eyes.
“I wouldn’t want that!” He chuckled, leaning in to brush his lips against hers.
“Aren’t you going to tell me?” Jennifer complained when he pulled away from the kiss. Did he have to always keep her in suspense? The stupid grin on his face wasn’t helping. Something was up his sleeve and she wanted to know. Right now!
“What if I don’t want to tell you?” He teased, pressing his forehead against hers. She pouted, turning away from him. “Aww, come on. Not the cold shoulder! Please!” Luis laughed.
“Tell me.”
“Alright,” He sighed in mock defeat, and she turned back to him with an eager smile. “We’re going home for Christmas.” Luis whispered and the smile on her face turned half-hearted…
Chapter 7
“H-home?” Jennifer stuttered, slightly stiffening in his arms.
“Yeah, you know, Harmony, our hometown…” Luis chuckled with twinkling hazel eyes.
“I know where home is, Luis!” She glared at him for joking in that not too funny moment. “I just… I’m not sure I want to go home…” She trailed off.
“What? Why?” Luis asked disbelievingly. “I mean your parents live there, and your brother,” He continued.
“I don’t know… things between us just went back to normal and…” The woman you love lives there; she wanted to say but decided against it.
“This is about Sherry-Sheridan isn’t it?” He asked somewhat angrily, pulling his arms from around her waist and settling on his side of the bed.
“Yeah,” Jennifer admitted. “Do you blame me?” She challenged, turning to face him.
“No, and don’t worry. I have that taken care of…” Luis sighed.
“What do you mean taken care of?” She questioned, shivering a little from the biting cold breeze that blew through the open window.
“Are you cold?” He asked, concerned.
“A little, but please answer my question.” Jennifer replied, snuggling deeper into the covers, until he pulled her to him. She reveled in the warmth of his body and nuzzled his warm, bare chest with her freezing nose.
“Well when I was talking to Mama…”
**Flashback**
“Mama…” Luis paused. “I need to ask you to do something for me.”
“Anything hijo,” Pilar replied without hesitation.
“Don’t tell Sheridan that I’m coming.” He requested, gripping the phone tightly to his right ear.
“Why?” She asked confusion apparent in her motherly voice.
“Jennifer and I, well we just worked things out and…”
“Sheridan was your problem, right?”
“Yeah Mama, I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants so much to see Sheridan and I know this part of me will die knowing it’s so close to her yet can’t see her. Another part of me wants to protect Jennifer with all it’s got because we’re building something Mama and she loves me.” Luis confessed, sinking into the couch tiredly.
“You’re killing your heart hijo for the hope of a new life with a woman you know you will never love.” Pilar spoke wisely. “I don’t think you can avoid Sheridan while you’re here, you’re bound to run into her…”
“I’m going to try my best to stay away from her.” He let out a weary breath.
“What about when she and Ben come over for Christmas Eve?” She questioned.
“I dunno Mama, I’ll try my best to fix this when I actually get to Harmony. I really have to go now…I’ll see you in a couple of months,” he smiled. “Bye…”
“Bye hijo.”
Dial tone.
**End Flashback**
“Oh Luis that’s great, then you’re not going to see her?” Jennifer asked, the sparkle in her eyes shinning brightly at the moment.
Luis nodded his head with a grim smile. Of course he hadn’t told her about the part of the conversation where his mother told him that he’s killing his heart…
~*~*~*~
“It’s getting chilly out there.” Sheridan commented as she looked out the Youth Center window.
“Yeah it is,” Theresa agreed, rolling in the basketballs. “I guess it’s going to snow in a couple of days.”
“That’s my bet.” Ethan grinned, walking into the Youth Center.
“Ethan, it’s nice to have you here.” Sheridan smiled at him, pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s been a long while since I’ve seen you,” She remarked sarcastically, the smile never leaving her face. “What was it? Ummm…” She looked to Theresa who was blushing a cute color of crimson red. “One day? Half an hour?”
“Come on, Sher. Just admit you’re more than glad to see me.” He walked over to Theresa and placed a small kiss on her cheek.
“Oh, alright I’m so glad to see you.”
“How come no body’s here today?” Theresa wondered.
“Well, they’ll be in soon. It’s just too cold to go out early…” Sheridan glanced at the door and saw a little boy walking-waddling in. “Nicky, how are you sweetie?” She knelt on the floor, opening her arms to the dark-haired, blue-eyed child.
Nicky ran into her arms, pressing his cold cheek to her warm one. “I’m fine.” The four-year old grinned.
“How come Mommy let you come here today? It’s so cold.” Sheridan cupped his cold face in her palms and gently rubbed his cheeks.
Nicky looked at Theresa and Ethan shyly then back at Sheridan, hoping she’d understand that he didn’t want to talk in front of them. “I don’t know.” He buried his little face in her shoulder.
“I have an idea.” Ethan said cheerfully. “Theresa and I will go to the Book Café and get you and Nicky some hot chocolate. What do you say?” He suggested.
The child’s eyes brightened up and he nodded his dark head vigorously. Sheridan smiled in agreement and took Nicky’s gloved little hand. They walked to the benches on the sides of the court and sat there.
“So Nicky, wanna tell me what happened?” She asked, pulling his small body closer to her.
“Mommy and Daddy had a fight.” Nicky whispered, looking up into her compassionate blue eyes. “And Mommy was so angry, she kept shouting. Then she dropped me off here and I-I dunno where she went.” He sniffed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“Oh sweetie I’m so sorry.” She murmured into his hair, pressing a kiss to his dark brow. “Don’t worry I’ll take you home on my way.” Sheridan hugged him tight to her chest in hope to comfort him and put his little mind at rest.
“I don’t wanna go home.” He cried into the crook of her neck.
“Why Nicky?” She asked, pulling him away from her to look at his face.
“Because Mommy is not there and Daddy is always out.” Sobs raked his tiny body.
“Alright sweetie don’t worry I’ll take you home with me tonight. Is that ok?” Sheridan smiled at him and his sobs started to slowly subside. Nicky nodded his head in agreement. “So now you better stop crying before Ethan and Theresa come. Here come with me to the bathroom and we’ll wash your face.” She offered her hand and he grabbed it trustingly, following her to the bathroom.
“She’s so nice to the children.” Theresa stated on their way back to the Youth Center.
“Yeah I know. Sometimes I feel like she’s wishing for one of her own and I have to say it… too bad she doesn’t have one.” Ethan agreed taking up the steps that led to the door.
“Ethan! Every woman wishes for one. At least every woman I know.”
He turned to her with a smile. “So you’re saying you want one?”
“I’d be lying if I said that I don’t.” She grinned back at him as they walked into the Youth Center.
“Sheridan, Nicky we’re here!” Ethan called out.
“We’re coming.” Sheridan replied, walking into the basketball court with Nicky beside her.
“Hey everyone,” Fred Wilson greeted, heading towards them.
“Fred what’s up man?” Ethan high-fived the twelve-year old.
“Hi Fred.” Sheridan smiled warmly and he blushed.
Fred has an enormous crush on Miss Crane soon-to-be Mrs. Adams, Theresa thought with an amused smile, watching him smile back at Sheridan shyly with red cheeks.
“So Freddy wanna play a one-on-one so that I’ll beat you like every time?” Ethan challenged, shedding his dark gray turtle-neck.
“Yeah Ethan, when are you going to admit that Fred beats you every time.” Sheridan chuckled, drawing a triumphant smile from Fred and making everyone else laugh.
“Alright Sheridan, we’ll see who’ll win this time.” Ethan glared at her for making him a laughing stock.
“Whatever Ethan.” Theresa smiled widely. “Go play.”
~*~*~*~
“Jennifer, do we have to go Christmas shopping today?” Luis grumbled, pulling a dark sweater over his head.
“Yes, Luis! If we didn’t go now when will we go? We’re supposed to be in Harmony in two days and we didn’t even start packing yet.” Jennifer groaned, her boyfriend chose this very exact time to act like a child. Wasn’t it enough that they had a million things to do?
“Alright,” He huffed; grabbing his jacket and holding the door open for her. They walked to the black jeep and then climbed into it. The big vehicle moved with ease and within minutes they were at the mall. Luis parked the car and together they got out of it. He clicked the lock button and they walked into the mall.
“Ok, Luis. Since I don’t want you to know what I’m getting you and you don’t want me to know what you’re getting me.” Taking a deep breath, she continued. “We both go alone and meet at the car. Ok?” Jennifer suggested.
“Fine,” Luis tried his best to smile but only came out with a crooked mouth. He started his torturous journey by walking opposite to where she was heading. He was glad that he knew what he was going to get everyone. Smiling secretly to himself, he pulled the list out of his pocket:
Mama: A necklace
Theresa: CDs
Miguel: A new baseball bat
Jennifer: A ring (to propose)
The Bennets, Jennifer’s parents and the Russells (anything I find)
It’d been almost an hour when he finished most of his Christmas shopping. He still had to buy Jennifer’s ring. Luis walked to the jewelry store, and pushed the heavy door open. He stepped inside and immediately headed towards the salesman.
“Excuse me sir?” Luis approached.
“Yes,” The elegant man with dark eyes looked at him. “I assume you’re here for a Christmas present.” The man spoke, retrieving some boxes from the drawer beneath the counter.
“I am but I have something specific in mind. I want a ring… an engagement ring.”
The man smiled at him and opened one of the large boxes. Inside there were a few necklaces and a bulky collection of rings. “Take your pick sir, and ask me if you need any help.”
Luis fingered the rings one by one and imagined them on Jennifer’s finger. Finally he settled on a golden band with a ruby in the middle between two small diamonds. His eyes surveyed the rest of the box resting on a locket the shape of a heart. Out of curiosity, he picked it up and snapped it open. One of the sides was empty, while the other had the words: You’re my angel engraved in it. “Excuse me again.” Luis gave the man a tiny smile. “If I wanted something engraved on the other side of the locket, how much time will it take?”
The man chuckled. “You’re in luck sir. It’s the holiday season, so we can have it ready right away. Whose name do you want to engrave?”
“Sherry.”
To be continued...