Rating: PG-13

Summary: Gus realizes he needs to talk to someone.

Author’s Note: Gus stories aren’t my thing. Get nervous when I do them. Wonder after you read this if I should do more like this. Please tell me what you think.

Archive: ATP or TONYA’S SITES. My Site. www.geocities.com/staremaqaf

Feedback: Please tell me what you think. Gus stories are not usually my thing. Thanks. linda@k2exoman.com

Disclaimer; Not mine, never will be. Just love the characters.

Ring, ring, ring. “Damn it.” Fidgeting in his seat by the phone, Gus is annoyed that his Justin is not picking up. He is always home by now. Gus’ mind is running a mile a second. His stream of consciousness is running rampantly. I need to talk to Justin. I am so confused, so upset, I have four parents all gay and I can’t get in touch with any to talk about my problem. I am so afraid of how dad will react. Mom and momma will get all weepy and try to placate me. I can’t take that right now. I need to talk to a man. Maybe two men in particular. I know what the outside world says about this, but it seems to be my reality. I am so loved by all of them and I really don’t want to disappoint any of them. Dad will blow a gasket. Justin is the only sane in the group when it comes to understanding things and being able to get dad to understand what I am going through. I need Justin or I am gonna scream. I need my sounding board. Ring, ring, ring. Why hasn’t the stupid answering machine picked up?

Ring. “This is the Kinney-Taylor residence. Right now, Brian is hitting me over the head with a frying pan. Bam. Thump. You heard that. Brian, stop. He isn’t stopping, so please leave a message and I will return the call as soon as he has stopped spanking me with that damn frying pan. Guess another pan no longer is going to be used for cooking. By the way, the handle has come off. Hmmm. I have ideas for that handle. Later dudes.”

“Damn, where are you? I don’t need a fucking message. Justin, I need to talk to you and then dad. Please call. I have a problem. Need a one-on-one. Need to come over. Private talks. I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what is happening to me.” His voice was squeaking by the time he finished his message. You could hear the trembling in his voice. He wanted to cry. Instead, he was pacing his room ready to scream. He was grateful he was alone in his mom’s house right now. What was he to do?

“Justin, please come home. I need you. Damn!” Tears were threatening to fall. Dad didn’t like it when he cried. Justin accepted it. Said it was alright. “Feelings are feelings. There is nothing wrong or right about them. They just are.” He kept saying that over and over as he let his feelings out. It was like a mantra telling him it was alright to cry. Tears rolled down. His mind wouldn’t shut down. Gus flopped down on his bed and pulled his favorite pillow under him folded, his feelings became a waterfall of emotion. What was happening to him? Why did he have to be this confused? Would his dad disown him when he found out? He didn’t know how long he cried, but the tears became sobs and the sobs into hiccups and then a sleep overtook him.

“Ring, ring. He had fallen asleep with the phone still in his hand. His hands were still under the pillow. The sound was muffed and seemed far off in the distance. Ring, ring, the sound was getting insistent. RING! Ring! Through the haze of sleep the sound came into the dream. A bleary-eyed boy answered the phone.

Along his walls were pics of men and women. Even some pictures of drag queens were around, especially a pic of Uncle Mikey in drag from his first Pride parade. Gus loved that pic. Thinking about it, Gus loved Michael as Michelle. He thought he looked better like that.

Answering the phone, Gus felt more alone than ever and was still glad that his two moms were not going to be home till very late. “Hello, Marcus-Peterson residence. Gus speaking.” His voice was sad and still had that sleep throat. He wished Froggy didn’t visit so often.

“Gus, are you okay. I got the message. What is wrong? Did I wake you?” Instantly, Gus had awakened.

“Justin, is that really you? I am not dreaming, am I?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“I have a problem. I need to talk. I am afraid of dad’s reaction, Daddi-o Justin.”

Justin laughed at his new name. He still thought it was funny. Suddenly, he was calling him that and it warmed his heart. Somehow, it felt so endearing. “Okay, we will make your father understand. I always do, don’t I.”

“Can you come over? NOW!”

“Yes. I am getting my coat. Are your moms there?”

“No.” If they were I would be running to the loft. I can’t talk about this to them. Not yet.”

“Okay, on my way.” He checked to see the loft was locked down. “Gus, just hang in there buddy. It can’t be all that bad. Daddi-o Justin will be right over. I have to hang up. I need to call Brian and tell him I won’t be home when he gets there.”

“Okay.” Justin didn’t like hearing the trembling in Gus’ voice. What could possibly upset him so? Thoughts were running in his head. It couldn’t be sexuality. We already did that talk about the birds and bees. The damn gang has bet on the boy’s sexuality. I think that is unreal. What could make Gus scared of Brian? I know he didn’t steal or anything. It has to be about sex. But what?

Ring.

“Hey.”

“Brian, I am going to see Gus. He is upset about something. He is afraid you will disown him. I am sure it is nothing. You know how the boy exaggerates things into gargantuan portions. Let me deal with it before you come over. I will ring once and hang up when the coast is clear to come by. I think he will need reassurance from you no matter what is said. Keep your cool Brian, whatever you do.”

“What do you think is wrong?”

“My gut is telling me it has to do with sex with the conversation I had.”

“Well, we did the birds and bees with him at twelve. He is 15. Maybe, he had his first wet dream or something. Why would he be afraid to talk to me?”

“He doesn’t want to disappoint you.”

“I told him straight or gay, I would still love him.”

“I know. I know. I am here. Don’t sweat it. Gotta go.” Gus was pacing by the front door. You could see him through the curtains. The door flew open and out ran Gus into Justin’s arms. “What am I going to do,” came out of Gus’ mouth.

“Gus, let’s get back inside and you tell me all about it. I will help you anyway I can.”

“Thanks.”

They sat in Gus’ room on his bed. Justin looked around at all the pics that Gus had pasted on the walls. Actors, actresses, models, and some hunky soft porn like pics. He noticed the drag queen ones as well. He remembered when his father had gone into his room and really looked around. There was not one girl on the walls. It was all men. If he was straight, why would he have men around?

“Gus, take a deep breath and just tell me. I won’t bite. Honest.”

“Poppa, what am I gonna do?”

“First, you are gonna tell me what has you in a knot and then I will try and fix it. Dad won’t come here unless I call him so tell me.”

“I was in school today and this beautiful girl took my breath away. Her eyes were like pools of blue. Her hair golden like yours. Her skin like yours. She was out of this world. I want to grab her and hold her and kiss her. I got a hard-on. Yet, I always figured I would be gay. Four parents plus I am so attracted to drag queens. I get hard-ons with them. I fantasize about men. Not women. Until this girl. I think I am truly bisexual. I know what dad thinks about people on the fence. I love dick. Jus, I want to suck dick all the time. I love it. I have had it. The scent and the taste. It is the essence of a man. I love to nuzzle in its nest and now…”

“When did you first suck dick, Gus?” This news upset Justin. When did Gus start getting active? “

Oh, a few weeks ago. You know the person actually. One of the people who work at the diner now. I think the name is Azsha when she is in drag. She tasted good, real good. I have fantasized about it for a while but you know when opportunity strikes, a Kinney needs to get busy.”

“Where did you get that from?”

“Oh, Sol told me that. Besides, I know all about how dad was when he was young.”

“You do.”

“Yes, Uncle Mikey told me stories. They seem a little far out, but I do know he was Stud of Liberty Avenue for a long while, longer than most. He was not into monogamy. How did you do it Justin? How did you get him to stop tricking? I don’t think I am into tricking, more into the idea of relationships. ”

“Hmmm. I just think he finally grew up and realized everything he needed was right here with me. I let him get it out of his system. He knew I loved him, but he needed to know that he could still get anyone he wanted. When he no longer needed outside adoration, he just came home to me. Your father is a good man, but he wasn’t loved as a child so he had to get that love feeling through sex. He needed to be noticed. He needed his fix. Sex was his way of feeling something. He had felt worthless. His reputation made him someone. When he finally realized he didn’t need it anymore, monogamy was simple. Not perfect. We still sometimes feel a need for a third person and we do it together. That is the difference. His reputation still holds, even though, he is over 40. He still has no gray hair. His body is still awesome and he still watches his weight. His sex drive is never better. He isn’t slowing down. Gus, why are you upset?

“Dad, he won’t like that I think I am bisexual.”

“Well, I think you should try some pussy out before you proclaim it to everyone. Look Gus, I tried it. Your father has tried it. Experimentation is a good thing. I know. Many gays don’t accept a bisexual, thinking you are straddling the fence, but being bi can be legitimate. Look around Gus. What do you see in this room?”

Gus looked around. He saw his room painted in several shades of blue and he saw his favorite pictures. He liked equally men and women and had them spread everywhere. “Gus, you have been screaming bisexuality here everywhere. Enjoy it. Get to know what you want, what you need and than allow yourself to love. Love both genders and find your soul mate. I did. So did your dad. It doesn’t matter who you fall in love with as long as that person is right for you. Dad will love you no matter what.”

“But I have heard how he hates bisexuals or those who are lunch gays or weekend gays. What am I to do?”

“You are going to be the best Gus you can be. If it means you are bisexual then be bisexual. If it means you are gay, fine. Straight, fine. Don’t sweat it.”

“But Dad!”

“But Dad nothing. Dad loves you. He isn’t going to change just because of that. He isn’t my father or his father or mother. He will love you no matter what. He knows the road of a gay is difficult in the real world. You will be taking the hardest road. Wanting cock and yet yearning for pussy. Just don’t talk pussy to him.” They both laughed. “So, you ready to wipe away those tears.”

“Yeah. Daddi-o. I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“Gross. Not with you I won’t.” Laughter ensued.

“I seem to shoot at night.”

“hmmm. I was right.”

“Right about what?”

“That you called about wet dreams or nocturnal emissions. It is natural. Men do it all the time, especially teens. Justin continued to explain it. As he answered several more questions. He dialed Brian and said nothing while Gus went to get a drink. It signaled that Brian should come. He quickly gave a text message warning Brian to keep his cool. “You can do this Gus. You can tell dad. I will be right here.”

Ding dong went the chimes. Letting Brian in, he tells him that his sonny boy has some news.

“What’s up, Sonny Boy? Tell your dad.”

“Dad, I know your views. I thought I batted for your team. I love cock. It tastes so good, so right. I can’t get enough.” Gus was looking down. He couldn’t look at his dad.

“But?” Gus took some deep breaths. “Justin, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Tell dad what you told me.”

“I think I am bi…bi…sexual.”

Brian looked at Justin, then at Gus and then at the room. His eyes following where Justin was pointing. He noticed both guys and girls for the first time. He then thought of Justin’s old room which had had only men. Brian took a deep breath. He also was digesting what Gus had said before he spoke. He likes cock. My boy likes cock, but he likes pussy too. Straight I was ready for and gay I hoped for, but both. He counted to ten before he spoke. Gus being bi doesn’t cut it for him. He knew some people were both in reality. Maybe his son is one of them. He has to keep his temper down. Be a listener when he wants to scream. Justin had his hand on his thigh reassuring Brian and reminding him not to explode. Justin squeezed the thigh bringing him back to Gus.

“Gus, I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Gus replied with a tremble to his voice.

“This is monumental. You have accepted who you are. Be true to who you are. Just tell me what brought this on? Did you meet a girl? When did you suck cock?”

“Dad, I know you think our kind just can’t choose. I know what you say about lunch gays, businessmen gays, and weekend gays. I am none of those, dad.”

“Did you find a girl?”

“There is this girl in my class. She took my breath away. I had never got a hard-on like that just looking at a girl. Her butt is perfect and her lips. She looks like a female Justin. But she has boobs. Nice big pillows. Suckable. I can’t keep her out of my mind and thoughts.” Brian was feeling nauseous but he knew he had to listen. This was his son. “I haven’t been able to sleep since. She invades my dreams. Dad, I love cock but she is different. What do I do?” Gus’ need for answers was catching at Brian’s heart.

“Do what you need to do? Gus, Justin and I both have had some pussy. I was experimenting. Justin just did it for a friend, a one-time thing. I just liked cock better. For me, doing a girl was an experience. I knew I was gay but I had a friend who was fighting being gay, denying herself. We hooked up. I loved her but not that way. I told her I couldn’t do this forever. I told her we had to be true to ourselves. I never bed her again. She finally accepted that she was a lesbian and yes, we are friends.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes, I do. Your mom. Lindsay was my fling with the wild side. We cared about each other then and if I wasn’t gay, I would have married her. Daphne was Justin’s. Go and see if she is right for you. Check out some men. You are only fifteen. You have plenty of time to accept your sexuality. I just recommend not to get serious at your age. She may become your faghag or your lover. Cultivate a friendship and see where it goes. You are young yet. Just remember condoms always.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“Mad is for animals and no, I am not angry. You have to accept yourself Gus and not worry what others think. You are your own person. Don’t be someone else because someone wants you to be that way. I brought you up to be an individual, true to yourself. You need to be the best you can be whether that is straight, gay…or …or bi. Don’t worry about what I think. I know my love will always be strong when it comes to you.”

“Thanks, dad. I was afraid you would disown me or stop being my dad, stop loving me.”

“I will never stop loving you. I am not Craig Taylor or my folks. I am your dad and I am here for you always. Your sexuality is not a deal-breaker. There is nothing that you can do that would make me disown you. Nothing.”

Gus jumped up and swung his arms around his dad and hugged him. He felt loved. Brian picked up his chin, looked into his son’s eyes, and saw such relief. He smiled. “Gus, I love you, always have, always will.” He pecked his son on the forehead. “Gus, you can come to us with anything. Justin and I will always be there if you have questions, conflicts, anything. Don’t be afraid of me. I am just your dad.”

Gus nodded. Wondering if he should tell his moms now. As if on cue, Justin pipes up. You don’t need to tell your moms if you don’t want to, it could be our secret until you feel comfortable.” Gus sighed a sigh of relief. Then he took two more gulps of air. He hadn’t realized that he had been holding his breath.

“Secrets are not good normally but some subjects are for dad’s ears and some for mom’s ears. I am sure you talk to your moms about things that never come to me. That is why we are here for you now.” Justin confided.

“Gus, just relax. The worse is over. Brian and I know. Let’s have some ice cream and then we should all head to our beds.”

Gus smiled. Ice cream sounded good, a comfort food. As they ate in silence. Each to their own thoughts, Gus started to smile. The smile spread to Sunshine and then Brian. Brian felt like he was a dad. He had been there for his boy. He hadn’t yelled at him. He accepted what the boy had said. He would see how things happened and wondered if his boy was lucky enough to find a person like Justin at such a young age.

He felt like he could do anything with Justin by his side. Could his son have found someone early on and bypass all the angst? Time would tell.

Time would tell…and he looked at Justin and he knew Justin was with him. He saw a need in Justin’s eyes. He looked at Gus and saw a calm.

The storm had blown over. All was right with the world, his world, his two loves. He even was eating ice cream. It felt so good going down. He wanted something more. He took a spoonful and licked it eyeing Justin.

Justin and Gus both laughed.

“Justin, you better go before I have a first hand show of what dad is implying.”

“You sure.”

“Yeah, I will be fine. Thanks for listening. You may not make it back to the loft.”

“I know.” They both laughed and Brian glared but it couldn’t last. He felt too good. He was there for his son and Justin was there for the two of them. Sure enough, Brian’s need grew and they didn’t make it back to the loft before they culminated their desires.

Gus, lay on his bed with a smile. His dads understood. Brian Kinney didn’t go berserk and he was happy. His dads accepted him. Now all he needed was to get the gumption to ask this bombshell on a date. He couldn’t get help from dad on this. Dad never dated. As he drifted off to sleep, he smiled contentedly as his Justin-like figure came into his dreams.