Brian was hurried. It was a last minute emergency with his biggest account. His plans with Justin for the long weekend were shot to hell. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Again I am going to disappoint my baby. All because of work. I had so much planned. Now, it is all blown. Why the fuck do they want to work on the weekend anyway. In my opinion, it can wait till Monday. But no! It has to be fixed immediately. Fuck! I don’t want to go. It’s times like these I wish I wasn’t so good at my job. Why is it everyone fucks up and I am the white knight to the rescue? Damn it all! I had to send Cynthia with a list to pack for me. I hate it when I can’t do it myself. She’s good though and almost packs as perfectly as I do. For 10 fucking days I have to be in Hawaii. Hawaii is great but I will be working most of the time and I won’t be with Justin. I have to get to Hawaii and then take the cruise. The fucking company insists on this cruise. Why must it be this one? It is Thanksgiving weekend and Chanukah. I should be home with Gus for Chanukah. The ship leaves on the 29th and the holiday starts that night and I had promised Mel I would be there. This is screwing up everything.

These trips used to thrill me. The excitement of new prospects, of new tricks, and new clubs would bring the best of Brian Kinney out but now I keep picturing Justin and it isn’t the same. I actually thought of taking Justin. He is off from school this whole long weekend but I couldn’t get a hold of him. Damn that kid. He has a cell and it is never on when I need it to be! Wonder where he is at. I know he would be able to occupy himself with sightseeing and swimming and such in the day, but he would make my nights so much more pleasant. It would also get him away from his memories for a short time. I can’t even talk to him to tell him I am leaving. A note is not sufficient enough. This is all wrong.

Since when did I start worrying about someone else? Damn it. Since I fell in love. Since the prom, when I realized how much I loved him. I like being partners. It feels right with Justin. I won’t tell him that though. Not yet! This not being able to tell him what is happening is going to bring all his doubts back again. He has been so squeamish since the bashing. His trust wavers with his insecurity. He is strong and he is brave but he is just a kid who has to deal with something no one should have to and he tries to hide his feelings. He doesn’t want to rock my boat. He’s afraid of losing me if he shows me that he is crumbling, hurting. This is going to send him for a loop and I have no fucking control. This sucks. I am going to be half there, doing my troubleshooting and worrying about Justin at the same time. I wish I could get in touch with him. Cynthia better get here soon. I am supposed to protect him, to keep him safe. In a half hour the limo will be here to pick me up for the airport and I have to discuss stuff with her. Vance will probably be happy I couldn’t get in touch with Justin. Such fuckin’ double standards. A man can take his wife with no problems but I can’t take my partner without a fight. It’s just wrong. Everything about this is wrong. Where the hell is Cynthia?

*************************

At the loft, Cynthia is packing for Brian. Being on a time schedule doesn’t faze her, she knows what she needs and she has a trusty list. In less than 15 minutes she has found everything and has packed half of it. Thinking to herself, maybe I can try Justin one more time from here so that maybe I can make my boss happy. He really wanted to take him. As she reaches for the phone, the loft door opens wider. She hears the sound of it. Shit, I left the door unlocked, who could it be. As she turns around prepared to call the police. Her demeanor changes quickly as she sees who it is. But Justin can’t see her. He sees stuff scattered and his heart is racing. Not again! Did I leave the alarm off? Brian is going to kill me. I swear I put the alarm on. I know I did and locked it too. He starts looking around to see what might be missing. Nothing seems to be taken from the kitchen and living room. Then he starts to move toward the bedroom and he sees a shadow. Shit, the person is still here. Brian never is home at this hour. What the fuck is going on?

Cynthia: “Justin, thank G-d it’s you. My heart jumped.”

Justin: “Do I know you? What are you doing with Brian’s clothes? Wait, you must be Cynthia, his aid. The other person he can’t live without. What’s going on?” Justin’s face has lost its vibrant sunshiny smile as he surveys the loft, Cynthia and the facts before him. He now looks crestfallen. Brian had promised him a great weekend and now this. Just like Vermont.

Cynthia: Noticing, Cynthia takes his hand and strokes it in a motherly fashion. “Justin, I know that this looks bad, but Brian was trying to get you for the last two hours. He has to go on an unexpected trip that just came up and…”

Justin: “You don’t have to sugarcoat it Cynthia. I know. It’s important and I am not. Our plans are not. It’s Vermont all over again.”

Cynthia: “Finished. Now that you have had your tantrum, can I speak?”

Justin: In a low voice, chagrined, “yes.”

Cynthia: “Now, I am supposed to be back at the office in 15 minutes. We were trying to get in contact with you because Brian wants to take you. It’s bad enough he is going to disappoint Gus, he didn’t want to disappoint you, too. This is going to be a long trip. Almost two weeks. Can you get packed for it quickly? Brian has been a terror since this came up because he didn’t want to leave without telling you.”

Justin: “I am going! Really! Where? Yes, I can pack quickly. What do I need?”

Cynthia: “You will have to miss a few days of school but I will get that cleared up with PIFA. Leave that for me. You will need swim trucks, warm weather gear, and your art supplies. I know you are never without those. Not for 13 days. Oh, and brightly colored shirts and suits etc.”

Justin: “Where the hell am I going that I will need suits? Maybe, this is a bad idea.”

Cynthia: “I finally got Brian packed. I will let him yell at me for being late. Let me see your clothes.” He shows her his wardrobe and she grabs another suitcase and starts sifting through everything and pulling out the necessary clothes. “Justin, get your toiletries and your underwear, trunks, robe.” Justin starts complying with her orders. He too can pack fast, but he has no clue why or where.

Justin: “Ok. If you are leaving to go back to the office, how am I going to get to the airport?”

Cynthia: “I’ve formulated a plan. I will have the limo stop by here. Just have all the clothes I pulled in the suitcase and be ready. I am going to have them pick you up first so that you can surprise Brian. He is in knots about you.”

Justin: “Really!”

Cynthia: “Yes, really. I have to go and get chewed out for being late. Just be ready downstairs okay. Oh, and by the way, you are going to be on a Hawaiian cruise.”

Justin: “I‘ll be ready. Whoa! Wait a minute. Did you say Hawaii and cruise. Fucking Hawaii. I don’t believe it.” Justin grabs Cynthia and twirls her around and kisses her. “Hawaii, I’m going to Hawaii.” Over and over again, he sing-songs it. Cynthia separates herself from Justin.

Cynthia: As she closes the door behind her and carrying the suitcases for Brian, she smiles and says “He loves you, you know.”

Justin: As the door slams shut, he replies. “I know. I have always known.”

Having only 15 minutes left to pack, he is so excited he wants to run up and down the stairs from joy, but he knows he has to be ready so he can surprise Brian. He packs everything up and throws in a few extras. Then checks for some other art supplies he decided he might need for the beautiful colors that personify Hawaii. He didn’t want to be without. This was a once in a lifetime experience. He grabbed everything and got downstairs in record time. If he forgot anything he would have Brian pick it up. As he made it to the outside of the building, the stretch limo pulled up. Perfect timing he thought. The windows were tinted, inside was a small bar and snacks, which were spread out. He sat where he felt Brian would not notice him as he got into the limo. As he had gotten into the limo, he had told the chauffeur that he had wanted to surprise him and that he didn’t want him to mention anything about another stop. Tell him there was an accident or something. He told him the look on the face of the next passenger would be well worth it. Though he wanted to, he wasn’t going to touch the food until Brian was there. He didn’t want to give it away with the sound of chewing. Seeing the crackers, cheeses, caviar and champagne spread out were killing him.

******************************

Cynthia finally makes it back to the office only 7 minutes late but that doesn’t deter the wrath of Brian. She had made the calls to the limo and the airport for Justin as she was driving so Brian couldn’t hear anything. Besides, she had to make sure the limo had enough time to do both.

Brian: “Cynthia, you’re late. How the fuck am I going to be ready if you aren’t here.”

Cynthia: “Calm down Brian, it is only seven minutes and I couldn’t find the red silk Armani shirt you wanted and then there was traffic.”

Brian: “My Armani. It’s there in fucking plain sight. Did you find it?”

Cynthia: “Yes, and I found something else I thought you would like. I packed it, too.”

Brian: Cynthia, if it wasn’t on the list, I don’t need it. I didn’t ask you to pack extras. I will get whatever I need in Hawaii.

Cynthia: “You’re the boss. I was just trying to help, Brian. You know I have done this before, many times. Have I gone wrong? Have I steered you wrong?”

Brian: “No and No! But Damn, Cynthia I still can’t get in touch with Justin. Can you keep trying to get him and soothe him? This is going to be hard for him. Maybe if you can talk to him you can get him to take another flight and meet me at a port or something. Work it out, Cynthia. My life is in your hands.” Brian slumps down in his chair and looks at his picture of Gus and Justin on his desk. Five minutes go by and “Cynthia, the limo is late. Where is the fucking limo? You know I can’t be late.”

Cynthia: “Why don’t you take your suitcases and wait outside and have a smoke. It will do you good. I can’t believe I said that. Well, it will calm you a little anyway. Go! By the time you get outside I bet it will be here.” Thinking to herself, he better be in that limo or else I am going to kill Justin.

Brian: “You are ordering me around! Me! You could get fired for that.”

Cynthia: “Yes, I am. Yes, I can and no, you won’t. You can’t do without me and you know it. Now, no more words and get going. I mean it. NOW!”

Brian picks up his bags and goes. Thinking, Cynthia you are really going to close to the edge. You are living dangerously. But, I needed that kick in the ass. He walks expressionless, but he is still upset over the fact that he couldn’t say goodbye to Justin. He had called Lindsay and spoke to Gus. He felt like shit; disappointing his two loves, his two sons, his two babies, his toddler and his lover. His emotions were starting to take hold. He stopped at the door. For a split second, you could see emotion in his face and then it was gone. He spotted the limo outside and sighed, a sigh of relief. He hadn’t noticed anyone in the limo because of the tint but Justin had noticed him and attune to Brian as he was, he had seen the façade fall and the emotion surface and then disappear. A tear had fallen. One lone tear. This had spoken volumes to Justin. For Brian to lose it where someone might see him, it must have been powerful and heart wrenching. He had seen the turmoil, stress, heartache, as well as, concern that visited upon his lover before he had regained control. At that second, he knew that he had made the right decision to surprise Brian. All his doubts dissipated.

The chauffeur stepped up, took the bags, and opened the door for Brian. Mr. Kinney, make yourself comfortable, it will be a long ride, but we will get there in time. The bar is open. Enjoy. Closing the door behind Brian, he smiled and put the bags in the trunk. Brian wasn’t paying attention to anything, daydreaming about Justin, he was unseeing. Justin pulled into himself, so he took less space and held his breath. He had noticed Brian close his eyes as he sat down, stretching out his legs, his thoughts far away. Brian’s demeanor shed in the lavish limo certain he was alone. His face showed the strain this last minute trip had taken. Under his breath, talking to himself, Brian voiced “one last try” as he reached for his cell phone in his pocket. Pressing the phone dial automatically, as he always does, he dialed the speed dial number one for Justin. Justin was number one in his life, then Lindsay and Gus, and third was Michael. He could dial in his sleep. He knew if he opened his eyes, he might just break down and he didn’t want that.

Justin kept quiet as he watched Brian. His heart went out to him as he got no answer. He saw a quiver on Brian’s lips and knew he had to console his love. Casting his shoes off, he picked up a piece of cheese and stretched himself out, and pulled himself closer to Brian without a sound. Brian had leaned back and was trying to pull himself together. Justin saw the process taking its toll and thought if only Brian could free himself from that fucking façade he would be much happier. It was so much work. Justin reached his hand up and rested it upon Brian’s treasure trove and smiled as he started to stroke. Brian opened his eyes with a startled look about to yell but the Sunshiny smile that greeted him from the floor brought pleasure and passion with it and Brian grabbed him up with glee and lavishly lusted after those luscious lips. They kissed passionately and urgently. The chauffeur smiled as he drove. He had watched the scene and was glad that he had picked the boy up. He now realized that the young man was truly his lover. He pushed a button for the privacy shield and drove on. After seven minutes of non-stop kissing, Brian needed more, his tension had been too much to bear and now, he had opportunity for release and time to kill. Hmmm. What more can you, Brian Kinney, ask for but an enjoyable erotic encounter with his baby. But as his pursed lips left their desired destination, both groaned and then sighed from the emptiness of it. He needed to get to Justin. His need was excruciating. The pain in his being was so intense he felt like he was going to explode. But first, he had to ask the question that was nagging at him. He needed to confirm his suspicions. As he opened his mouth, with his hands working on undressing Justin, he was about to speak. Justin, cutting him off before he could, said “Do you like the little extras Cynthia packed.” Touching his balls in a seductive way, he said it with a mischievous grin.

Brian: “I most certainly do! So you were why she was late getting back.”

Justin: “Yeppers.”

Brian: “How?”

Justin: “later. Fuck me! I need you.”

At those words, Brian succumbed to his need and obliged Justin. He gripped Sunshine’s ass and pushed the cheeks away to marvel at the tight hole that Justin still had. The pink puckered delight shivered as Brian blew upon it. “Please, Brian” begged Justin. Brian bent in and let his tongue titillate the tender aperture.

He licked the twitching skin to his delight, making constant little circles around the puckered tissues, pressing hard but never entering. He was so happy to see Justin, and to taste Justin that he wanted to possess him. His tongue moved away and Justin moaned. Brian moved to his left bubble cheek and gently nipped and bit at it, marking his claim, leaving several hickeys on his smooth skin. The purplish marks excited Brian. He did the same to the right, making sure his claim would not be noticeable if they wore very brief trunks. Moaning, Justin wanted more and begged again. Brian went back to his opening and tongued it in and out, savoring the taste for a few minutes, but he couldn’t torture himself anymore or Justin. Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a condom and lube and put some on his fingers and covered cock, inserting first one then several fingers he prepared his precious one and then pushing in, waited for Justin to signal, and then he thrust his hardened hard-on into him. In and out, a frantic fiery frenzy took over and moved with him, pushing up and pulling away rhythmically. The two danced to the fast pace, exalting in the sheer pleasure of their passion. It didn’t take long. They needed release from the moment their eyes met. Brian’s emotions had taken their toll and the release was speedy and he reveled in the rapture of it. Justin also spewed his spent spunk. The two intertwined, their fingers holding tight to each other, Brian pulled Justin up for a quick longing lavishing kiss and removed the condom.

“Hey, beautiful, you better get your bubble butt clothed. We must be close to the airport. Now tell me. How did you and Cynthia manage this?” Brian was beaming, content in the knowledge that Justin was by his side and he was not without him for the trip. His worries were over. Listening to Justin, Brian poured the champagne. This was going to be a celebration. The two nibbled at the caviar and the fruit, cheese and crackers. There was even strawberries and cream. Hmmm. I should have saved the other cream, Brian thought to himself, after all it is tastier.

Returning Brian’s smile that had spread quite wide, he answered. Well, I was out and I realized I wanted to draw something and I didn’t have what I needed to finish so I came back to the loft. The door was unlocked and slightly ajar. I nearly panicked. I knew I had locked and set the alarm so who could have opened it. I figured you would blame me if we were robbed again so I walked in, surveyed the living room and saw a few things in disarray. I held my breath. I started checking the living room and kitchen but nothing there was out of place. Then I saw a shadow and thought shit he is still here. I started to walk toward the bedroom and Cynthia called my name. I froze and then realized who she was.” Then for a second, Justin’s face changed and Brian knew his worst suspicions of how he would react to him being gone was confirmed. “I became a real drama queen throwing such a hissy fit when Cynthia told me you were leaving. I saw Vermont all over again. I was crestfallen. Cynthia waited and then said: ‘Finished. Now that you have had your tantrum, can I speak?’ In just those words, my tantrum was deflated. I felt like shit, the way I had talked to her. I apologized later. She explained to me that you had been trying to get in touch with me and she formulated a plan to surprise you. I started dancing up and down with joy when she told me I was going. She gave me fifteen minutes to pack. Pulled clothes out for me to pack and then called the limo service for me to be picked up first. That is why she was late. I didn’t know what I needed to pack. You better call her and apologize. I am sure you chewed her a new one for being late.”

“I did at that. You’re right. I better apologize. I was a real bear when I couldn’t get you. I even called Deb, Daphne, and your mom.” None know that I, we left. Fuck! We better call.”

“Don’t sweat it. Cynthia took care of it and she is taking care of PIFA as well. She will be getting my assignments so that I will be on top of things. I spoke with my mom while we were driving to pick you up. I made sure I locked up and I barely got downstairs when the limo turned the corner. Brian, what were you thinking when you came to the limo? I saw tears in your eyes. I saw you lose your composure for a second at the door before you walked out.” What were you thinking when you came in the limo? I was bursting to jump in your arms and yell surprise, but you were so caught up in something that I sat quiet and watched you. You know you let all your walls down for a few minutes. I was fascinated by your features as they changed and changed again. I wanted to sketch them. You never even took in the limo. You just shut down. You know how hard it was for me to keep quiet?”

“Whew! Take a breath, Justin.” Brian grinned. “As for cumming in the limo, I was ecstatic and didn’t want it to end. You tasted so good. I should have dipped the strawberries in your cum. You were a fantastic surprise and I know for you to be quiet that long nearly killed you.” He playfully slapped Justin on the ass when he said that. “Ummm. You’re mine. I saw to that. You have been marked with purplish presents.” At that, they both giggled.

“Good.”

“Fuck! Your ticket! I never got you one.

“Remember Cynthia, the other one you can’t live without. She got me a first class right next to you.” Brian gave him a look with that remark but both knew he really didn’t mean it. “Now, answer the rest.”

“Damn! I thought I distracted you.”

“No such luck. Now, spill.”

“I already did.”

“NOW!

“I knew you would react that way. I was so upset that I couldn’t explain to you in person. I lost it. You caught it. You know me better than I do sometimes, it’s scary. I needed to just shut down, so I could revamp. I was thinking about you, how you would feel without me there, that you would take it all wrong, and that you would go back into your world. I couldn’t have that. Justin, I care about you, and I need you, and I needed you to be by my side on this trip. I really didn’t want to go, especially without you. I don’t like the guy that I have to work with. There is something about him that doesn’t ring true.

“I am glad I came back to the loft then. It was kismet. Glad I can make this easier on you. Especially, the nights! Do you really fear me escaping that much? Do you see me that fragile?”

“Hmmm! Nights, now I didn’t think of the nights. I do know even you may get your full of food, though.”

“What do you mean my full of food?”

“Didn’t Cynthia tell you it was a Hawaii cruise?”

“Yes.”

“No one starves on a cruise, Justin. There is food 24 hours a day. There is breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight buffet, room service, ice cream and cookie shop, and more. Non-stop food just fit for you.”

“Really!”

“Yes, really. Now get yourself together. I see we are coming to the airport exit. Hmmm. Just a thought. Do you want to participate in the mile-high club?”

*****************