Pairing: BJCD

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After they had a short nap just to regain their strength, Brian remembered that he was supposed to explain everything to Mr. Butterroll and Mr. Blackwell. “Oh, fuck! He exclaimed out loud. “What is wrong, Brian. I just remembered that I was supposed to meet the owners for breakfast to explain what happened to you. I didn’t miss a business meeting though. I have that in an hour. I can make that and apologize for being late. They may figure you still needed me and we slept in. Not quite true, is it? They both laughed. Brian teasingly touched Justin’s jumper. “Let’s get into the shower and then we can go our separate ways and meet for lunch. How about it? This meeting won’t go more than an hour and a half. They have me for ten days. They want me to experience all the activities so we will be enjoying some things together as I critique the experience and find the flaws and strengths. How about we go dancing tonight?” “Can we, really? I would love that but they will probably have classic ballroom dancing, not our dancing.” “We need to try each lounge. I hear there is a lounge for the younger set, techno music. The cool part is that all the drinks are free for us.”

As they showered together, Justin couldn’t help but succumb to the call that was Brian. Down on his knees he put Brian’s sac into his mouth, squeezing and sucking the meat. His love oozing out of his eyes, Brian backed up against the wall for support. “Justin, we don’t…” “Shhhhhhhhhshhhhh! He hummed on Brian’s cock. Brian moaned, Justin was squeezing and pulling him tight at the bottom of his shaft. He was so good and Brian was so close. He licked up the vein, under the helmet, and then touched the slit. That was the last thing Brian knew, he shuddered and spew his spunk down Justin’s throat and fell to the ground weak. “Wow!” was all he could say. It had been super quick but super good.

Drying each other off, they quickly dressed in casual wear. Even Brian did for the meeting was being held at the fucking shuffleboard area. He didn’t want to play shuffleboard. He didn’t even want to leave. He knew Justin would go to the snack area where there always was some food for snacking. Justin knew he was eating lunch with Brian in an hour and a half but he was starving. Hey, he was a growing boy and he had shown that several times last night and this morning. He had wished they didn’t have to stop. They both wanted to play but Brian had to work. Slowly, he made his way to the pool and decided to try the diving board first. He tried the two shorter platforms. When he was on the highest platform ready for his first dive on this height, he looked around first and was surprised to find that Brian was in the distance, but nearby playing of all things shuffleboard. He started to laugh as he set himself up for a 1.5 backward twist. He was good at swimming and diving. He felt like a merman swimming. His mom could never get him out of the pool. He loved the pool with the waterfall in the middle of it. He would swim under and come up looking through a sheet of pure water. The images were fantastic. Always had been good at diving, learning ten different dives by the time he was seven. Brian didn’t know this part of him. He was glad he had a chance to practice here. This cruise was looking up. He wasn’t one for sports but he loved to get wet growing up and he begged to learn to swim early. He thought diving was so graceful when he had watched the Olympics. It touched his artistic sensibilities. He wanted to spin like that and so he learned. To him, it wasn’t a sport; it was performance, an art form.

As Justin was doing his fifth dive, Brian started explaining what had happened the night before at dinner. “Okay, maybe I should explain what really happened last night.” “You don’t have to if it is too difficult.” Mr. Blackwell intervened seeing the haunted look in Brian’s eyes even if it was there just for a second. “No, no! I said I would and I will. Justin was bashed a short time ago. A fellow student bashed him at his prom with a baseball bat to his head. He was in a coma for two weeks and then had to go to a rehab center. It was very hard on him. When he found me after he was released from the hospital, I could hardly contain my emotions, so varied were my reactions from relief to fear. You see, I should never have been at the prom with him, even if it were only for one dance. It is all my fault. And don’t tell me, otherwise. He still tries.”

Mr. Butterroll spoke up at that. “Brian, I think I remember that story. It was in all the papers and TV about a blond boy from St. James and this Chris Hobbs fella that got off with community service if I recall. I was intrigued with the story and kept up with it. I laughed myself silly when I heard what happened to that judge afterwards.” Mr. Blackwell looked at him curiously. “Oh, the judge sat down on his favorite toilet in the courthouse and got stuck to it for 14 hours. I felt that humiliation was exquisite but didn’t touch what the boy has gone through and from what last night showed, still is. So continue.”

“Well, we were together most of his senior year and it was the prom that I decided to show him how much he meant to me. I don’t normally mention my private life to others let alone business acquaintances but since you opened your arms to us and you know we are together, I feel a need to be honest here.”

“Don’t worry. It will be forgotten after you tell us.” They both said in unison as if it were rehearsed.

“Okay, well here goes.” Taking a deep breath, Brian continues. “I had been fighting the relationship thing and the love thing all my life but with Justin, it is different. I kept saying that I don’t believe in relationships or in love from the first day I met him. It was my mantra. Everyone bought into it including me until Justin came along. He saw me for who I really was, not the asshole everyone else knows. He believed in me, made me believe in myself though I question that person constantly and I keep trying to push Justin away. I feel he can do so much better than me. He doesn’t believe that. So every morning I thank the powers that be that he is in my life for another day. It won’t last. He will tire of me and my baggage. But on to the story, he lied in bed for two weeks unconscious never knowing I was there every night watching over him and outside his door when he became aware. No one knew that I was on a nightly vigil and I got slack from everyone for not visiting. I didn’t care. I didn’t want anyone to know how much I did care. I had to keep up the façade. Well, six weeks later, he is living in my home again per his mom’s request. He was untouchable, literally and figuratively and she was at wit’s end. She wanted her sweet innocent talented boy back the way he was or a close resemblance anyway. We both knew it would never happen. He was changed forever. For that matter so was I. I knelt in that garage, his head in my arms, rocking him, blood everywhere, all over me and I had thought I had lost the only good thing that ever came into my life. The only person I had dared to love. Now, gone or so I had thought.”

He stopped to take a drink. He had to collect himself for the rest of the tale. The two men looked at each other not saying a word but both were thinking the same thing. This man is still also reeling from the aftermath and is still in love but the love is tainted with his guilt. He has to let go, forgive himself, so they could be the special couple they were meant to be. Rallying himself, he found he could begin again.

“Justin and I had always expressed our feelings through our lovemaking. That first night he had come into our bed clothed in sweats, very uncharacteristic of him. I knew he had a problem with being touched but I thought I would be immune. He tried to stay on his side of the bed. He couldn’t. I didn’t let him. I had him undress and tried but it was a disaster. It was then that I truly realized that we were two damaged souls together. No longer was he perfection. It was my fault. I had taken his virginity, now I had taken his life.” The men looked at each other again.

“This is all good Brian but what has that to do with last night?” Mr, Butterroll began.

“Well, that was the first of many of the hills we had to climb from that night. I had to get him to not fear touch, able to make love again, be able to walk among crowds without panicking and on occasion, that still happens, and get him to believe he could paint or draw again. He is very talented with art. You might want to use his work in the future. The nightmares were 3/4x a night. Now, it isn’t often. Thank G-d. We had a lot of rough roads that have smoothened a bit lately but that never lasts long. His hand also shakes when he is overtired. He can’t draw the same way he used to. At one point, it was all anger motivated. Now, it is closer to the Justin of old. But the hardest thing for me is his selective memory loss. He has amnesia of that first night, of the special dance and those special moments. He only remembers the bashing itself. So when something triggers the bashing, he gets panic attacks and he can’t be in crowds. Someday, I hope it won’t happen but I can live with it if it does. With all we have done to get to this place, all we have overcome, it is amazing he still loves me. In time, maybe I will not feel the guilt. He doesn’t and never has. I remember every detail and wish to forget. He can’t remember everything and wishes to remember. We are a pair. Hopefully, the rest of the cruise will be uneventful.”

Mr. Blackwell stated,“Brian, thank you for sharing such a private thing with us. I know it hurt to entrust us with those memories. You mentioned Justin in all this but not you. You have nightmares too, don’t you? I see this has taken a toll on you. Why don’t we can the meeting portion to later today around 5pm till dinnertime? Have Justin meet us around 7 for drinks. I want to get to know him better if we will be commissioning work from him. Tell him to dress to kill and tonight what are you planning after dinner, if we can be so bold in asking?”

“I promised my boy, that he would go dancing tonight. I heard that one of the lounges had techno music for the younger set. Come join, us. It might be fun.” Thinking to himself, I will frequent this lounge often so one night won’t matter. Justin will understand, I hope.

“For a little while, if you promise to go to one of our favorite ones later in the cruise.” “Seems fair. Deal.” Deal ,” said Mr. Butterroll.

Brian smiled, glad he was excused to be with his boy. Brian was also glad that he found himself so quickly alone. He was about to go look for his boy. He wanted to take him back to the room and finish what they both had started. He figured he would sip the remainder of his drink and was looking at the divers, a distance away and he blinked twice. Was that Justin on the high platform diving board? He didn’t know Justin could dive. He unconsciously held his breath, only letting it out when he dove in without incident. He had turned white when he saw that Justin was doing a backwards dive. Across the way, Desire was sitting on a chaise, tired of reading the book, she laid it down and watched the pool area and Justin diving. He was really good. She was surprised at his expertise but he seemed like the type to do things to the fullest. She had seen Brian earlier by the shuffleboard courts and peeked over and noticed he was white as a ghost. He was looking at Justin. She looked that way again and realized why Brian was fearful. Wasn’t that dive the same that Greg Luganis had hit his head in the Olympics a while back. I bet that is why Brian is scared. Well, Justin has moved on. He better get it together or else his fears may taint the boy.

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