Pairing: BJCD

Now Brian geared himself up to listen to Desire. He knew that she was struggling with what he had, changing a lifestyle and accepting love. This step was so hard for the two of them. He had fought but was so glad that Justin saw him worthy of love. He loved Justin more than his own life. He wanted that for Desire. Desiree flowed better on the tongue but Desire she would always be to him. That was the name she was when he met her. He had given her Desiree for her career.

Desire let herself in the suite. Brian had needed to lie down. The light was on dimmer. “Brian, I can come back tomorrow if you need to rest.”

“No De, I want to talk now. Tell me what is troubling you.”

“De smiled. “I don’t know how to start. I…I am never at a loss for words.”

“De, it’s me. Just say it. Start wherever you need to.” He patted her face. She smiled again. Wider. “If it helps, I know it’s about Cynthia and I am all for it.”

“You are?”

“Yes, now tell me what is holding you up or should I speculate?”

“Go for it!”

“Okay, but you have to fill in the details.”

“Deal.”

“I know when Justin came into my life I felt such emotion and knew if I started with him my life would change. You have made more than the first step with Cynthia and now you are in the same quandary as I was.”

“Right so far.”

“Like me, you aren’t sure if you are ready to change and yet already you know you have.”

“On target.”

You aren’t sure if you can settle down with just one gender. Talk to her about it. Okay, take it from there. I think I broke the ice for you. What are you feeling?”

“I feel all giggling and giddy inside. I want to run and I don’t want to let go. I want to stay with her forever and then I want to keep up my life as I know it. I don’t know what I want! “She exclaimed.

“Yes, you do. You are scared. Let’s make that terrified of changing what you know yet, I know deep down you have always wanted someone to love you and to love. We both have wanted that. It’s scary. I balked a few times. I can’t see myself without him now. I was lucky to find my soulmate. I really think Cynthia is yours. Cynthia loves you already but she is scared that it means losing her ability to have children. I told her that I would come to her aid for that as I promised you long ago.”

“Yeah, you did. You remembered?”

“Yeah, I have often. I meant it then and I mean it now. I know you would be a great mother. I know how you have nurtured me over the years. But really De. Talk to me. You asked for this and we are skirting the issue.

“Brian, how are you feeling? You did a lot today.”

“Good change of topic. You aren’t getting away with it. I feel better. Just being out of this room made me feel alive. My head still hurts, don’t get me wrong, but being out and about seems to have had a healing affect. Now back to the issue.”

“Okay, I just needed to formulate my thoughts. Here goes.”

“Good girl.”

“She is straight and she is your assistant. I feel weird about that.”

“Okay, that is excuse numbers one and two. She is an adult and I am starting to believe you are right about your theory of bisexuality especially for women. She was torn by that too but she is more than just attracted to you. A fling is one thing but Cynthia doesn’t see you as a cruise and lose romance. Cynthia was never one for just tricking. She always hoped for more. She has never truly found what she was looking for in a man. Maybe she was denying herself because of her upbringing. It wouldn’t be the first time. You need to accept the fact that you are worthy of love. I know it is hard. It was for me. After all, we both went through as a kid, we now have a chance to get what we long deserved.”

“You never talked like that.”

“No. I didn’t. Justin taught me to see myself through his eyes. I deserve his love. So do you. You already have Justin’s. He gives it away freely. I never saw someone more open. And with all he has gone through in his short life. Cynthia is open to this. You need to open yourself too. You are a woman. It should be easier for you. Go deep inside. You will find the courage and strength and if not Justin and I are here to back you up.”

“I know. You have always had my back.”

“Ditto. Besides, this way it would be in the family. You and Cynthia , me and mine. Just one thing. If this becomes permanent and the two of you move in together, I won’t lose Cynthia. I could never break another in. I love her too. It would break my heart.” Brian looked away. Desire knew that what he just admitted was hard for him. She whispered, “I would never take her away from you. Never.” She made him turn back to her. Looking into his eyes she spoke. “I promise.”

“But then how would you manage to be lovers with you in Hawaii and Cyn in Pittsburgh.

“Since I saw you again this trip, I couldn’t get out of my mind how much I have missed you. I could switch to the Northeast runs. Less pay but then I could see you more. And Justin.”

“And especially Cynthia. You know I may be expanding soon. I could find a job at the agency for you. Think about it. The four of us telling the world what to buy.” She laughed. “Making them lap up our bullshit.” She was now really laughing. Brian had broken the ice for her.

“Brian, I think I love her. I felt this pulling like I have never felt. She has her hooks in my tits. I don’t want to be away from her. She is my breath of life. Now I understand why you couldn’t leave Justin. All I want is contact and not always sexual. It is like…like…my other half. That’s it. She makes me feel whole.”

“You got your answer to your unspoken question. You and Cyn are meant for each other. Did you get sparks when you both touched? We did.”

“Yes. Does she really love me?”

“She is well on her way. She has already changed her orientation or accepted it. Now it is up to you to open your arms and bring her in. She is waiting. Go to her.”

“Yes, I think I will. I’ll send Justin in.”

“Thank you. I would like that. Just come to me whenever.”

“I will. And I will think about your offer.”

“Good.”

*******