Pairing: BJD

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It was just an introductory meeting, a chance to have a fast quick drink with the big boys. The owners had just wanted to see me in an informal setting on their turf. I could have lived without this. I hate having to do pleasantries. All I want is to fuck Justin. Hmmm.

“Mr. Blackwell, Mr. Butterroll, may I introduce you to my partner, Mr. Taylor.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr.Taylor. Good to see you again, Mr. Kinney. They said in unison and laughed.

“What are you having Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor. Jim Beam on the rocks for the two of us,” Brian replied. Justin smiled. Justin knew to keep quiet for the time being and let Brian use him as arm candy. They both didn’t feel like being here. After a drink and some small talk, it would be time for dinner. Brian couldn’t wait to move the evening along. Not Brian’s forte, he nodded for Justin to rescue him. It was subtle, something only Justin would notice and he stepped in, his country club expertise taking over. Brian felt comfortable in the presentation area but small talk is something he would prefer to pass to his lover. Justin was just too good. He was comfortable with people many times older than he was and just as comfortable playing and talking with a two year old. He was always amazed at how Justin did it so effortlessly, finding common ground almost instantly. The time passed quickly. Soon they were all heading to dinner. Justin had found out that they were all sitting at the same table tonight, but talk of business was not going to be a topic. Brian was relieved. Tomorrow would come all too soon for that.

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Sitting at the Captain’s table, Brian was thinking about what he wanted to do to Justin as Justin continued to talk animatedly to Mr. Blackwell. Brian was nibbling at his food not really hungry. Suddenly, an attractive beauty of a woman sat down at the table apologizing for being fashionably late. Justin looked up as soon as he heard the voice and gasped. There in front of him was standing Desire in a Hawaiian flowered sundress. Justin thought that if he were straight, she would definitely be someone he would want to know more intimately. She oozed pure sexuality and sensuality. Her hair was swept up in a bun with flowers laced around. She was beautiful. Her breasts were barely inside the dress. One of the men sitting near to her got up and pulled the chair out for her. At the same time, Justin nudged Brian.

At that moment, Desire reacted to the gasp and looked in Justin’s direction. “My G-d, Justin. Brian. What are you doing here? Brian’s hemerotic thoughts were interrupted. He looked at Desire and kept his face unemotional. “Business. Ms. Flowers. May I introduce you to Mr. Blackwell and Mr. Butterroll, owners of this cruise ship?” Brian nodded toward each. Hmmm. This is going to make the cruise a tad more interesting.

“So you are vacationing on the ship, Ms. Flowers,” stated Mr. Blackwell.

“Yes, I am, but I didn’t know Mr. Kinney, or Mr. Taylor would be here as well.”

“You seem to know them. May I ask how you know Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor?” Recovering from her shock, she tried to cover her slip.

“Mr. Butterroll, I am a flight attendant and they were on my flight over here. I never knew they were going to be here. I am stunned.” Brian thought to himself. Good girl. Give as little as possible, but charm them in the process. “Ms. Flowers, you may call me Brian and call my partner, Justin. Don’t be so formal.” To himself, G-d she is more beautiful now than when she was younger. Only if I were alone. Hmmm! I wonder….

“Mr. Blackwell, I hear there is a unique performer tonight. Can you tell me a little about him? He sounds so different. A concert harmonicist. I thought it was a kid’s toy or a cowboy’s instrument, not a serious instrument.”

“Oh, you are in for a treat. Mr. Alan “Blackie” Schackner is a performer extraordinaire. He has been performing several times a year on the cruise line for the past fifteen years. He has performed for presidents and has been in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! He is well accomplished. You must see him. He will be performing several times this cruise. I particularly asked for him on this cruise since I was going to be here myself. Mr. Kinney, I would like to see you at one of his shows. He truly is exceptional.”

“I certainly will attend but tonight may not be the night. Justin and I are very tired from our trip. We wanted to retire early. I will look forward to seeing him the next time he is performing. I am sure Justin will want to see him as well.”

Another person at the table started to snicker. Under his breath he said, “Sure you are tired, you just want to eat that ass.” Brian tried to ignore the asshole but everyone had heard and all were trying so much to ignore the ignoramus. He then said louder. “You are just a pervert. How dare you even grace us with your presence in your fancy labels?” Justin turned red. Then he started to show signs of panic, visible only to Brian. Brian realized that dinner will not be in the cards tonight. About to leave, Brian glared and was about to say something when Mr. Blackwell spoke.

“Mr. Malfore, it seems your name fits you, but at my table and on my ship, there will be no racial or hate remarks. Understood! Tonight is the only time you will be invited to this table. Money does not give you permission to disrespect my guests. Finish your meal and go.” Motioning to the stewart, Ken, who immediately appeared at the table, he said, “Mr. Malfore is finished. Please remove his plate. Mr. Malfore, if I hear anything about you or get any complaints about you, I will personally have you removed from the ship.” “But, he is a…” “Mr. Malfore, Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor are here by my personal invitation. I expect them to have a wonderful time without the problems that people like you cause. GO!” Mr. Blackwell, turned and started talking to Justin immediately, sensing that he was the most vulnerable. He was right. Justin looked like he needed some consoling. Justin was tired but this, plus his emotional roller coaster all day sent him over the edge. Brian was whispering to him, trying to calm him down.

“Justin, these things usually don’t happen on my ships. I am sorry, but glad I was here when it happened. Are you okay?”

“No, he is not okay. We need to leave.”

“I am not hungry now. My appetite has definitely left me. Brian, can we go?” Brian looking straight through him knew where his mind had gone, the bashing. The fear in his eyes said it all.

“Justin, hold on. Hold it together just a little longer. We’re leaving. Justin, it will be okay. “Mr. Blackwell, Mr. Butterroll, please let us make this evening short. Justin needs some quiet time. This has upset him and I much more than you can imagine.”

As Mr. Malfore left, he yelled. “The kid wants to run away. Little faggot can’t take it.”

“Help!” Justin spoke in a soft whisper. “Brian, now!” But it was already too late. In a soft voice Brian inquired. “Justin, is it okay if I ask Ms. Flowers to accompany us and assist us or do you need to be alone?” “It is okay. Justin…Justin. Not again. Not now, baby.”

“Miss Flowers…” “Certainly, I will come. I don’t understand, but…” At that moment, Justin started to freak out, his legs started to give out. Catching Justin as he collapsed, he lifted him into his arms. Shit. One night, just one night, he could have free from this or the nightmares. I should have left. I shouldn’t have stayed long enough to be polite, but he is a client. “Mr. Blackwell, I will explain tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. Take care of him. There is a wheelchair in the back you can use. You can’t carry him all the way to your suite.”

“He needs to feel me, know I am near, but if it would look better for you. Please. I need to get him away from the crowd. I saw it coming. I should have moved quicker.” Instantly, the wheelchair materialized. Still carrying Justin, Brian nods to the wheelchair and Desiree takes it. As he walks away, Brian turns his head back.

“I will be there tomorrow as planned.”

“Don’t worry if you are late. If you need to take care of him, I will understand. Just call me if you need to postpone it till later in the day.”

After the three left, there was chatter at the table. Everyone was wondering what just happened and why the charming young man had just fainted. Mr. Blackwell tried to stop the grapevine from starting but he knew it would be futile. Conversation at the table was frenzied. Other tables had also witnessed and heard the commotion. “Why did that young man faint?” “Oh, he didn’t faint, something else, I am sure. It seemed Mr. Kinney expected it and knows what to do.” “I think he had a panic attack. He said something about crowds.” “Why would such a young man have panic attacks?”

“Everyone, please let’s drop it. Would you want your private ills talked about? Besides, we will find out soon enough. Please, let’s not bring it up tomorrow. We don’t want to make them anymore uncomfortable than they already feel.” Everyone agreed.

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“Okay, Brian. We are alone. What is going on? Why did you want me to come with you and what is happening to Justin?”

“Desiree, it is a long story but we have time. As long as he feels me close, smells my scent, he will stay calm.”

“That’s all good, but why does this happen.”

“Well, it is something I have trouble talking about. I need to talk to someone that accepts me, other than Justin of course. I am conflicted right now. And horny but soon that will be taken care of. I need to vent. I was gonna try to just write it down but you are here. I need someone who understands the real me. Normally, I would vent to Cynthia, my personal assistant and confidante. She is so much more important to me than a secretary ever could be or an assistant. I am glad you are here. My emotions are crazy. I feel so many things. I wanted to kill Mr. Malfore. I am not violent yet…. He doesn’t even know me or Justin. “

“The story is horrible and sad. We both still are reeling from it. I can’t forget about it and he can’t remember it. Actually, he remembers some but not all. I wanted you to come with us because you know me and I really thought this cruise would help heal the two of us. I was hoping that he would be free of this while we were here, but between being tired, horny, and having to deal with that asshole at the table….”

“Brian, let’s sit down somewhere and talk.”

“No, I need to get him to the room.”

“Brian!”

“I’ll explain. All of it, but don’t be surprised at how it affects me. It happened a few months ago. I almost lost him. He was in a coma for two weeks. Justin went to his prom without me. I wouldn’t go. I said I wouldn’t be caught dead in a room full of fucking eighteen year olds. He took Daphne, his best friend, instead. I was feeling down because I turned thirty at the same time, but that night I realized how much I loved him and so I went to his prom dressed to the nines in black except for a white silk scarf I had earlier used for scarfing.”

“You do scarfing?”

“That was the first time. I decided to declare my love to him in all its glory. It was ridiculously romantic. We danced to Save the Last Dance For Me. Finally, I had the nerve to tell him I loved him. I hadn’t done that before. I showed it in my actions. I was terrified when I walked into the room. That dance was so beautiful. Everyone stopped dancing and just watched. It was just the two of us, dancing our hearts out and then I kissed him passionately as I lifted him up and twirled him. It was ridiculously romantic and fantastic and he doesn’t remember it at all. It was all for nothing. A gesture forgotten.”

Brian choked up, tears started forming. He fought to keep them in check. Desiree realized that something terrible must have happened. She put her arm around him and hugged him sideways, since he still had Justin in his arms.

“Brian, There’s a bench. Sit down. That’s an order.”

“No!”

“Brian, you need to sit.”

“No, I need to get him safe. I need to protect him. I must. I didn’t. It won’t happen again. I won’t let it.”

“Brian, whatever happened, it isn’t your fault.”

Starting to lose it, Brian sat down on the next bench they came across because his legs were buckling and feeling like rubber. Though Desiree tried to take Justin, Brian wouldn’t let him go and started rocking him. They sat for a while and talked. When Brian felt able to proceed they made it back to the room.

Brian put Justin to bed, undressed him completely, and then kissed his forehead covering him up. “We can talk now. He will sleep for a while but I can’t leave him in case he gets a nightmare. I will continue. He will sleep for another hour and then he will be ravenous for food and sex, not necessarily in that order.” They both laughed. “Desire, you look so beautiful tonight, so edible. When I saw you, I thought that it would be nice to do it again, but I have Justin here. I wonder if he would do a threesome. Are you game?”

She chuckled. “Brian, you are changing the subject. Tell me what happened. It is okay if you cry in front of me. How often does this happen? Is this the only after-effect from the accident? Talk to me. It will help you heal. Knowing you, you have not talked to anyone including Justin. Now spill!”

“It wasn’t an accident. It was premeditated. YOU didn’t answer me. I need to know. If you answer, I will spill not only words but tears. I love him and I don’t think he knows how much. He is so insecure about everything now. He used to be so confident. He is tenacious in his recovery but since he lost the memory of the prom he second guesses everything, even more than I do. You know that is a lot. I over-analyze everything. Now, what is your answer?”

“If he is willing I am. I have had both types of threesomes and I always carry my toys. Do you have yours?”

“Of course. Desire, I am scared. I never told Justin that. I never let on that I don’t think I can be strong enough. Do you know who is in control in this relationship?”

“Yes. Justin is. You are the submissive in the relationship. Don’t worry about it. You are in control of everything else. You need someone to control you, someone you can give your all, someone you can lose yourself in the act of pleasuring. Before, you just took but it never felt right, did it?”

“No, something was always missing. I am still top but I think he knows I need the illusion of control. He loves being bottom. It works for us, but I want more. I want him to top me more, but I can’t always ask him. I was planning on him topping me tonight. I prepared myself this morning. I still want it.”

“You can still have it tonight. You said he will crave sex. He probably needs to feel that he is in control again and it would be a great way to help him feel better”

“Yes, the first time I let him top me, he had had a bad night working and I feared he might have even been raped. He was supposedly working a party as decoration but he had the balls and wherewithal to get out before they drugged him beyond his abilities to withstand their plans for him. He kicked Sap in the mouth and left. That night I didn’t get home on time and I was exhausted. I looked at him and knew I needed to give myself to him so he could gain his respect back. I saw the pain in his eyes from what had transpired. I noticed that giving myself to him that night was what he needed because the pain was gone once we both came. He didn’t tell me what happened right away. It took him a while. My imagination was on overtime. I envisioned every possible scenario. Luckily, he got out of there before anything really happened.”

“Yes, it was but that is not what you promised to talk about.”

“It is so hard. I love him. Desire, I really need him. I never felt like this. It was the perfect night. After the dance, he danced me out to the Jeep. We kissed but Daphne was still inside so I was going to leave. He was going to come to the loft to have a private celebration afterwards. We said our ‘later’ and then I got in the car.”

“You still can’t say goodbye, I see.”

“No. He had such a beautiful smile on his face. I knew he was riding cloud nine. I looked in the mirror and saw him walking away. He was a distance from me. Then it happened. Chris Hobbs came up from behind and I saw a baseball bat being lifted. I yelled to Justin. He turned. Thank G-d, he did. If he hadn’t, he would be dead. That is what the doctor said. He got hit in the only area that he could survive.” Taking several deep breaths, he continued. Tears were threatening to flow. “I ran to him. He was lying on the ground. I grabbed the bat and hit Chris in the knees, so he couldn’t get away. Then I went to him. The blood, it was everywhere. I was scared. I finally wasn’t running and had finally showed him I was ready and then this. I feel so guilty. I know it isn’t my fault but I can’t help it.”

“I…love…him and I can’t tell him. I feel every time something good happens, it is taken away. I couldn’t take the chance on telling him.” Starting to tremble, he burst into tears. Look at him. Peaceful for the moment, but he struggles every minute to keep it together. Some nights he has two or three nightmares. Sometimes, he needs it sweet, soft, and cuddly. Some nights, he still couldn’t be touched. His mom made me stop seeing him against my better judgment and against his wishes. He freaked out in any crowds for so long. I pushed him. His mother couldn’t handle him after he was home. He didn’t want to be at his mom’s. He needed me. At first, Jennifer couldn’t see that. She needed to rein him in, protect him. She blamed me. She knew I was there at the hospital but never told him. She wanted Justin to think I didn’t care.

Everyone else thought I deserted him. I didn’t bother to correct them. Jennifer gave him to me, to fuck, and to take care of. She wanted him to be able to be touched. She wanted him to be as close to his former self as he can be but that will never happen. She wants him back the way he was; only he will never be the way he was. Nor will I! We have forever been changed. It is so hard for me to go to work and know that he will go to college and someone could again attack him. I won’t be here to protect him. I wore the bloody scarf under my clothes until he was able to remove it. It took several months. I had to be close to him. I wouldn’t see him in the hospital, but I couldn’t stay away. I came at 12:30 every night and stayed till 6am. I left before he woke. I sat outside his door. I watched him sleep. I felt he would hate me for not protecting him.”

“Brian, it isn’t your fault.”

“I know, but I can’t shake it. My mind understands that but my heart doesn’t.”

“I really thought that he would be able to be free of these attacks while on the ship. He is always in pain but doesn’t complain. If he uses his hand to much it shakes and trembles uncontrollably. He is an artist. He thought his talent was over. I got him a computer program that allows him to draw again. He has hope now and he goes to PIFA. His drawings are spectacular, different but as good as before but not better. Not yet! But that is his opinion. I will show you. He can not use traditional media all the time, but only for a short time, not like before. He still freaks on occasion in crowds. Now we can have sex and it is better than before, maybe because I admitted to him that I care and maybe because we couldn’t have it so now it means more. I stayed with him throughout this. I even have cut back on my tricking. I haven’t given it up completely, yet. I need to know I can. I just wish some of these repercussions would seize, but they have warned us that they can get worse.”

“Would you be willing to spend some time with him when I am working with the owners? Normally, I keep my private life separate from my working life, but this trip was too long to be away from him that long. I had to make a decision and I made the right one. He would have needed me and I would not have been there. Here I was with him.

He knows you. I won’t ask you to stick around all the time. You need to find someone to love on this ship. I bet you will find a submissive for you. It was so hard for me to realize that was what I needed, a stronger and more courageous man in my life. Why couldn’t he have been a bit older so that it would look better? Believe it or not, he is helping me to grow up. He is much more mature than I am. He is amazing.”

“Of course, I will do what I can without him knowing you asked.”

“Good. That will ease my mind. Thanks for not telling Mr. Blackwell that we go back years.”

“No sweat.”

“He is waking. I better go to him. Ready for an all-night sex session. I get the privilege of making love to him a multiple number of times after one of these attacks. It gets wild. A great plus. Nice to have a plus with all the negatives we have to deal with,” he laughed.

“You sound nervous. Why?” “Because I will be taking him into my past with you? It will open up so much. I don’t know if I am ready for that.”

“You are.” Brian smiled uncertainly as he walked from the sitting room to the queen size bed. Desire felt a girlish enthusiasm. She hadn’t expected this. He was still attracted to her. She never expected to be able to have him again. He so much as said it. Now to get Justin in on it and they could do so many things. The possibilities were endless and the toys….Oh, my! Her whole body tingled with anticipation. Now Brian just had to talk him into it.

“Justin, baby are you okay,” Brian whispered as he watched his baby stretching in his sleep. Justin murmured, “Yeah. But I am horny, hungry and horny. Did I say horny?” Brian laughed. “I need you now, Brian,” he said as he started to kiss Brian hungrily. Brian kissed him passionately back and then pulled away. Justin looked at him questioningly. “I am too, Justin, and I need you baby. I need you inside me. I need to feel you. Are you willing?”

“Oh my G-d, I don’t believe it. Again! Brian, this isn’t you.”

“I prepared myself this morning before we started traveling. I have been needing you a lot, baby. Please! You know it doesn’t happen that often. I will still do you. But tonight, if you are willing it will be more interesting tonight. I know you wanted to be alone tonight but an opportunity presented itself and someone is here and willing to play, if you are? Brian asked, hesitantly.

“Who? I am not in the mood for just any trick, Brian. I thought we could have one night without a trick and on a night I freaked. BRIAN!”

“Shhhhhhhh!”

“Don’t shhhhhhhhh me! I said no tricks!”

“Sunshine, my sweet sunshine, I promise this is no trick and I also promise you that on this cruise I will not even pick up one trick.”

“You promise. You never promise. Okay, who is it then if not a trick. You don’t mean…”

“Yes, the possibilities for play tonight would be endless with Desire and you would have a taste of my past. Remember, she prefers the back door so it will be almost like doing a guy. Almost. She has toys with her I don’t have. So will you? I will be the bottom for a few but we will all be bottoms, I promise that too. Game?”

“Yes, Oh, God, yeeeeeeeeessssssssss! I thought about this since I met her. It sounds so hot.” Desire smiled. She couldn’t help but hear his reply. Brian did another good sell. She grabbed her purse and walked to the bedroom.

“Hi. Justin, how are you feeling? Ready for a wild night.

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