Brian didn’t know how he was keeping it together. Three babies and one could die. It was tearing him up inside. He was trying to keep it strong. He knew he didn’t know how he could keep it up. He was getting signs. Too much emotion. He hadn’t had an attack in forever it seemed. Brian signaled to Justin who was talking to Cynthia and Daphne. Justin caught it in time. “Daphne, you take Cynthia with you. I need to leave now!” Justin’s tone broached no argument and it also told Daphne what might be happening.

“Cynthia, we have to hurry up.” Daphne prodded. I am surprised that Brian held up so long. I hope he isn’t having a seizure.

Justin ushered Brian out to the van. Brian was trembling. He got him settled and then Brian just started to sob. Justin held him and sobbed with him. Brian was letting it out with the only one he completely trusted. They commiserated the pain each was feeling. They didn’t talk but just released the tension and the anguish that they were feeling. The wailing lamentations that Brian was emitting was heart wrenching. Daphne and Cynthia noticed the van still there and Daphne went to see if she needed to be of assistance. She heard the wailing cries of Brian and the other sobs of Justin. She knew that she needed to take Cynthia home. She was in no condition to drive and neither was Justin. She pondered the dilemma and came up with a solution. She called Emmett. They could pick Emmett up and bring him here. Emmett never judged and was always there when they needed him. He also was the closest to them.

“Emmett, Are you busy.”

“No sweetie. What can I do for you?”

“We need your help. Where are you?”

“Oh, I am on Main Street at EJ’s Cafe. What’s wrong?”

Cynthia, Brian, and Justin just got news about Cynthia’s babies and they are in no condition to drive. Can I pick you up and have you drive the van? We will be having a conference later anyway. I am five minutes away from where you are. Thank you Emmett.”

“Anything to help Brian. What’s wrong?”

“I will tell you when I see you. Be outside.”

“I was sitting outside. It is a nice day.”

“It was!”

Daphne next called Deb’s cell phone. “Deb, emergency. I will be picking you up in 25 minutes. There will be a conference at the mansion. Bad news. Gotta go. Get someone to cover your shift.” Daphne hung up before Deb had a chance to respond. She made a few more calls and then turned to Cynthia.

“Cynthia, I am sorry that I can’t take you home right away. I need to get Deb. Brian will need her. So will Justin.”

“I know,” she said weakly. Deb had become like a mother to most of them in the couple of months that she and Brian had reconciled.

Deb stood outside the diner early. It had only been twenty minutes but she was anxious and she didn’t want to miss them or have them wait for her. Something bad had happened and her sons needed her. She thought back to that Friday, the first time she had seen Brian since the accident. At first, they were supposed to meet for breakfast and then it had been postponed. Brian had other responsibilities to take care of. She had thought that he just wasn’t ready to face her. For that matter, she wasn’t sure she was ready either. Justin had informed her that it was just a delay. They would meet in the afternoon instead. Well, a few hours are understandable. Business does come first. Only she didn’t know Brian’s business anymore. He had re-emphasized that she was to show no pity. She wondered what that meant. It wasn’t the first time Justin had said that.

Justin had picked her up and they had gone to the café before they moved on to the mansion. As Justin took a table and Deb sat down, Deb had spoken. “Okay Justin, what is the big mystery? Why did we really stop here first?”

Bailey had come over immediately with Justin’s favorite brew and asked the redhead what she wanted to drink. “I’m Bailey. Try the Mom’s Brew,” Bailey had suggested.

“What the hell is that?” Deb never heard of a drink with that name.

“Try it Deb. You’ll like it.”

“Okay Sunshine.” Bailey quickly left to get some. When she came back she said that she had their order ready.

“Justin, what is Bailey talking about. You didn’t order anything.”

“Actually, I did. I called her earlier today. I needed some various coffees but that isn’t the reason we stopped here. I need to prepare you.”

“Prepare me for what?”

“I need to prepare you to see Brian. He isn’t the man you once knew. He has changed drastically. He shows his emotions now. He smiles as much as he smirks and he is in a wheelchair.”

“He’s what?”

“You heard me. He is in a wheelchair. Believe me this is a great improvement. Deb, he was a quadriplegic after the accident. He has come around. Now he has three limbs working. Well, sort of.” Deb’s eyes grew wide but you could tell what she was about to ask. “Yes, Deb. He can get it up. That was the only limb still working after the accident.” They chuckled together. “Even after everything, Brian Kinney still got horny.”

“Okay. So is that why you kept telling me not to show pity.”

“Yes. Brian can do a lot himself except when he is too tired. Believe me with the emotional turmoil we have been going through lately, he has been asking for help. Don’t treat him like an invalid. Believe me, he is not one. He has come to grips with everything and we have had to make changes to accommodate but he still sees himself as Brian Kinney. By the way, he is still a stud but for me alone. We haven’t used condoms in years. He hasn’t tricked in years. Neither have I. This happened long before the accident.”

“When? How did you get him to…”

“It wasn’t my idea and it has been like six years. The last time he threatened suicide after seeing Michael but that is a long story for another time. I know Brian has had a long day. He may not be in the chair when you arrive. We are taking you to our place. Lindsay had met him here but too much has been happening and he hopes that you won’t disappoint him so he is allowing you to see him at home. I don’t know if he will be dressed or not, or if he will be sitting or lying down. He needs to know you are in his corner. Ask if he needs anything but don’t try to do things for him. Each day his abilities vary. Oh, and you will get to meet our ever growing family. It is growing in leaps and bounds. I can’t stress enough how Brian has changed. He is loving without hiding behind a mask. He is himself here. No one here expects him to be anyone else but himself and he is free. With the old gang, people didn’t want to accept him changing so he created his own. We better get going. Oh, by the way, if you think of us as your son and son-in-law…”

“I do.”

“Then think of yourself also as a grandma.”

“As a grandma?”

“You will see. Please Deb, don’t hurt Brian. He is fragile right now.”

Bailey had heard the whole conversation. “Here Justin. So this is the lady that gave you your nickname. It fits Deb. By the way, if you hurt Brian or Justin or any of their flock you will have me to contend with as well. You better be good to Brian. He needs you.”

Deb was about to say something to Bailey but Justin cut her off.

“She will you know. So will many others. Brian is reaching out to you. He didn’t have to but he needs you, maybe as much as he did when he was fourteen. Maybe more.”

As they left, Bailey called. “Justin, don’t forget to give him a hug and kiss from me.”

“I won’t.” The door closed behind them.

As they drove closer to the mansion, Justin could tell Deb was getting nervous. “Deb, it will be okay. Just be yourself. Be compassionate, not pity and you will be fine. Brian has learned to accept compassion. He has learned to accept love.” Deb for once had nothing to say. She just nodded.

Deb gasped as they drove into the driveway to the front of the mansion. It was huge. Justin smiled. “Oh, this is nothing Deb. Surprises await inside.”

Justin helped Deb out of the car and Pierre came out and took the car to the garage. “That is Pierre. He is Marie’s husband. She is our cook and more. Justin opened the door. “Brian, I am home and I brought coffee and mom with me.” Deb was scanning the room. It was in lived-in disarray. She spotted some baby’s toys on the floor. So did Justin telling him where Brian was. Brian hadn’t spoken. He was in a pair of shorts with one of Marie’s afghan’s over him on the sofa. In his arms were two sleeping babies. It was a bright flamboyant zigzag print of various colors: peach, mint, fuchsia, purple, turquoise to name a few. Marie had made its peaks perfectly. Each of the twins had a matching one as well. Marie had made her way to Justin and the two large bags filled with different coffees.

“You’re not serious. Both bags are filled with coffee! I thought you were kidding.” Deb said incredulously.

“Actually, this will last anywhere from ten days to two weeks. Depends on the traffic in and out. I am Marie. You probably met Pierre already. Welcome. Can I get you anything, Mrs. Novatny?”

“Call me Deb. Could I have some ice tea? I am overflowing with coffee.”

“Sure thing. Justin be quiet, the twins are sleeping on Brian.” She nodded toward the sofa. Brian was also dozing. He had been anxious to see Deb but the lull of the baby’s breathing had washed over him.

Deb followed Justin to the sofa and the sight before her made her smile. “He looks so peaceful and content.” Who are those precious children?”

“Ours, thanks to modern medicine with the help of others. We will explain. That one on the left is Brianna Daphne and the other is Justine Sadie. Aren’t they beautiful?”

Their whispering voices had awakened Brian. His eyes fluttered open. Justin bent down and kissed Brian. “That is from Bailey.”

“So where is her hug?”

Justin laughed and said. “I don’t want to crush the twins so later.”

“Then where is your kiss?”

Justin laughed and bent down to give him a more passionate kiss.

“You taste good. I missed you.” Then Brian looked toward Deb.

Brian’s eyes searched Deb’s. He saw love and awe. Good, he thought. Not being in the chair will allow her to get a grip on the situation. Brian purposely asked Justin for some water. He couldn’t move because of the twins, but he was tired anyway. At least, he didn’t have the added stress of meeting Deb elsewhere. He was in his domain. Justin lifted his glass to Brian’s lips. He sipped.

“Thanks. So Deb, did Justin give you an earful at Bailey’s. I will be giving you an eyeful. I overdid it today so I am not at my best.”

Justin looked at Brian and Deb could see that they were communicating. They always seemed to be able to without words. Even before. “Ah! Yeah, he told me a few things. I didn’t realize you were so badly hurt.”

“Oh, you should have seen me when I was in the cage.”

“The cage?”

Justin went over to where they kept the pictures of his progress. He brought them over. They had put them all in a scrapbook. They even had pictures of what the vintage train had looked like before the crash. As they looked at the pictures and explained everything up to the present, Deb came to the realization that she too had not been a good mother for Brian. He had had to deal with this without her. Tears came to her eyes. There were pictures of his battered body, of him in the cage and two pictures and a prayer plus a page of a journal that Justin wrote during that time. Brian had just been brought back to the living the second time. The journal entry said,

“Dear Brian,

Life would not have been worth living without you. How could I take care of the twins not yet here alone? I was so afraid of losing you. I did twice. Now I know what you must have felt when I was in a coma. We will get through this. We always do. We are each others strength, each others breath. I am so glad I can hear yours again. Whether or not we can ever have sex again isn’t important. I need you. Please Baby, come out of this coma. I need you.

Your Sunshine

PS. I am dead without you.”

Debbie’s tears were streaming now. That message to Brian was heart wrenching. Brian’s eyes were moist too from the pain he had caused Justin or the crash had anyway.

“How long?” She asked pointing to one of the cage pictures of Brian upside down.

“Quite a while though it was less than the doctors had expected. We celebrated when I no longer needed its restraints. Deb, you want to hold Brianna.” He had to distract her. He knew he would have to explain a lot to Deb but he needed a reprieve for a while.

She gladly held Brianna in her arms and the baby never woke up. Justin took the other baby. Brian had needed to switch positions as well. He was struggling to get into a position with the least pain. Deb noticed his facial expressions as he tried. She also saw Justin get up and she reached for the other baby without a word. Justin helped Brian turn.

“I bet your arms are numb from holding the babies.” Justin remarked.

“Yeah.” Brian responded glad for the chance to save face.

Marie brought in Deb’s ice tea and some easy fruit snacks. Marie refreshed Brian’s flavored water with some more fresh lemon. “Brian, I am making the preparations for dinner. Did you decide?”

“Deb, you are staying for dinner.” It was more of a command than a question. He wanted her to see how he really was. “Yeah, Marie, make what we discussed earlier but change the salad to my favorite. Don’t forget the garlic bread. We can’t have Italian without that.”

“Italian?”

“Yes, in your honor Mom. I am glad you are going to be able to help us. I was afraid I would have to cut my losses and let you free with Mikey. I need you Mom. Yeah, I am admitting it. I admit a lot of things these days. I almost canceled our rendezvous because I am so tired except that you would see it as something other than what I meant so I decided you can see me when I am like this. I was nervous. Afraid that you would only feel pity. I have so many blessings Deb. So many. I am alive and loved. What else can anyone else need? Now that you are coming into the fold, I see no reason to keep the loft. I only kept it to have a place to separate my two lives but now the lines are blurring. I don’t need the farce. Justin and I discussed it and even though it holds memories we have built so many more here. The mansion has a name Deb. I named it. It’s El Nido De Amor. It means ‘the love nest.’ I only allow people here that bring love in. I do not allow anyone to come here that we aren’t comfortable with and therefore we don’t need the negative vibes Michael emits here. I am sorry.”

“As I warned you Michael is delusional. I am afraid that he will track you down.”

“We have it covered. Even if he finds a P.I. and this place, he will not be able to get in easily. We have cameras and security everywhere. Most of the private eyes that Michael can afford will not take his case. We have seen to that. If he gets this close he won’t get in.”

“How can you be so sure? We got in easily. I didn’t see anything.”

“That is because you were with Justin. We have smart security. That is all I am going to say about it.”

“Justin, can you get my blue robe. I don’t feel up to getting dressed.” Justin left.

In a hushed voice, Brian had explained to Deb why he needed her so much right now. The pressure he was under and the need to feel he could be worthy of so much thrown at him and Justin. He didn’t see Sarai as a problem but family, a blessing. He was afraid with all these responsibilities on Justin that Justin wouldn’t have time to paint and be himself. He explained about the will and how it had forestalled their original plans.

Justin took his time getting the beautiful pure silk Chinese robe and knew that Brian needed time alone. Dinner wasn’t for a while. He wanted so much to listen in and he could have turned the intercom on but he felt that would be wrong. Brian would tell him what he needed to know. Justin puttered around in the bedroom and then grabbed some of his tools and started to sketch a picture of Deb holding the twins. It had been a touching sight. He made a mental note to sketch Brian on the sofa with the twins as well.

Deb and Brian had an interesting discussion.

“Brian, if you have trouble moving how do you…Can you…”

“I can. He rides me or I bottom.” Deb looked at Brian like she had just heard that he was a saint.

“Yes, I said I bottom. Justin did it for years for me. Now it is my turn. I can’t take control yet. My arms aren’t strong enough. Someday. He misses it. I do too, but this is a lot better than just giving each other head.” Each time the smallest thing happens we celebrate. A toe moves we become ecstatic. When I was able to move a leg we couldn’t believe it. The doctors had said I wouldn’t be able to get my arms back. I keep showing them. There will be a time when I will be able to top Justin again but it isn’t a deal breaker. What we have, we would have even if we couldn’t have sex. Dying changes one. I died twice. Literally. I have fought for life all my life. Now I am fighting for more than surviving. I have a lot to keep me fighting. I hit a low point and almost decided on ending it. Justin gave me space. I wallowed in self-pity for three days and then I knew I had to live. I have never gotten that low again. Deb, I can get seizures if I overdo or I can just…”

He looked away. This was hard for him. He tried to regroup.

“Brian, you can tell me.”

“My body speaks to me and if I don’t listen. It shuts down for one to three days and I am worse than a baby. Now when I was deciding on closing Kinnetik and painting full time, I am a billionaire CEO. Sarai’s parents handed over FSM to Justin and me to run. All I wanted to do was paint.”

“Paint! When did you start painting?”

“A while ago. I am known as Liberty S. King. I have been selling my work for a long time as well as Gus. Gus is BJ Love. The three of us sell out each show.”

“Liberty S. King. By any chance does ‘S’ stand for stud?” Brian smiled.

“Yeah. I was playing on my reputation without anyone else knowing except Justin and Gus. Gus chose BJ Love because he said that we treated him with love and respect. Mel threw away all his paintings. Over a million dollars of his drawings are in landfills. That is why Gus is here now. Mom, I am the dad of not one but four children with another on the way. To think I never wanted commitment let alone children and now I keep getting more.”

“Brian, I am proud of you.”

“Thanks. I do not have control like I used to need. I have to accept my body’s whims and yet I am happier than ever before. I am happier because the people around me allow me to be me. I don’t need to wear the expressionless mask. I don’t have the energy to keep it on. It was hard work. Justin always knew that. He saw me for who I was. Brian the loving, he used to call me. I would get so mad. Now I chuckle. I never fooled him. Michael wanted the product not me. He wanted the fantasy he made me into. I like being me. I have learned to accept who I am. Michael could not handle the new me. Justin has no problem with any of my ups and downs. He has been there for me when I attempted suicide more than once and he has been there through all this. I gave him an out and he wouldn’t take it. It has always been more than just sex with us so when it was difficult for us he didn’t flinch or go looking for a trick. When I became too difficult he would go to his studio or into Emmett’s room to find his center. Then he was able to cope with me. We are closer than ever. We have no secrets. How can I when Justin wipes my ass and blows my nose. When you are that helpless there is no need for secrets. Justin never treated me with anything but love. He would yell at me and he would get frustrated with me but he never wavered in his love. This accident opened my eyes. I found that I needed him and I learned to admit it even before the accident. I know it isn’t easy. Any relationship needs work but I work at it. I know when to compromise and when to say what he needs to hear. We are in this together. I only wish that Vic were still alive. He would have been the first of the old gang to be allowed in, instead it was Emmett and it took longer for me to reach out. Vic would not have judged me or seen me as an invalid. He would have seen Brian Kinney just like Justin did. Just like Gus and Sarai and her parents did. And Emmett. I see how torn you are because of all I have told you. There is so much I need to share with you but not now. Marie is ready.”

At that moment, Marie had signaled to him and then made the announcement through the intercom. Dinner was ready. Within minutes, the room and kitchen were being filled and Deb saw that people immediately grabbed something and started to set the table. It was as if they knew what they needed to do. The table was enlarged, plates set up, salad put in the center, and Justin had materialized by Brian with a wheelchair and robe helping Brian into it. Another man she hadn’t seen was by Brian’s other side and they had Brian in the chair and by the table before she could ask if she could help.

Gus and Justin sat on either side of Brian. A plate with salad cut up was miraculously placed in front of Brian. It was a spinach salad with olives, mushrooms, plum tomatoes, parmesan cheese, red onions, and something else. Then she realized it was artichoke hearts. A set of silverware that had a little thicker grip was also by Brian. Deb sat across from Brian but she was busy taking a garlic breadstick so she didn’t see Gus feed his father.

“Salad needs a little more dressing. Pass the dressing please.” Brian asked. Instantly, it was before him. Brian poured what he wanted. Justin had moved closer to Brian to whisper to him. Nobody took notice except Deb. She was about to make a fuss about it when Justin turned to her and gave her a glare. He had whispered to help Brian. Justin had needed to know how tired Brian was and if the two of them were going to feed him or not.

Brian had said he wanted to try but didn’t think he could finish the whole meal.

“I can feed myself salad, but not the soup.” Justin and Gus understood. The fork was thicker and he could pierce the food but he didn’t have the dexterity tonight to use a spoon for soup without making a mess in front of Deb plus he was also telling them that his strength was wavering. He had done too much.

Justin already knew that. When Brian couldn’t turn himself earlier Justin knew the night would get worse. For Brian to ask for a robe when company was here was also a sure sign that his body was screaming. Justin was grateful that there was no work tomorrow. Brian would be in bed whether he wanted to or not. Deb watched as the three of them made it seem inconspicuous that they were feeding him. Gus had the lasagna cut up and Justin had the minestrone soup.

Everyone was chatting and introducing themselves to Debbie. Marie has made the meal almost as good as I could, thought Deb. The two twins were there at the table as well. They had a bowl of dry cheerios in front of them to nibble on. They had eaten before but Brian and Justin always wanted them at the table. Marie and Pierre, Sadie, and her husband, Sarai, Daphne and others took their seats. Deb watched as the two fed Brian and themselves. It was truly a fine choreographed dance that didn’t skip a beat even when Brian joined the conversations. It was only Deb that couldn’t take her eyes off Brian.

“Deb, it is okay. I can feed myself most of the time. Aren’t the twins cute? Daphne and Sadie are their moms and Justin and I are their dads.”

“How? I thought…”

“Don’t think Deb. It might hurt.” He smiled. “Daphne carried the twins and gave birth. Sadie gave us an egg. We combined our DNA and voila, we have twins. By the way, Cynthia is pregnant too, but we did it the old fashioned way. Both Sunshine and I played on the wild side one night. Cynthia wanted a baby the old fashioned way but couldn’t choose between us so we decided to let nature take its course and we will find out who is the father later. Thank you Mom for accepting me. I know this was a shock to you.”

“Why are you so happy when you have so many limitations?”

“That is simple. I have love and acceptance. These people don’t see the damaged man I was, they see the loving person I am. They can’t believe the old stories because they never saw me that way. They all relish my accomplishments but they want to be around the love we share. Justin and I are so very much in love and I allow it to show. It feels so good to let it out. I don’t know how I ever lived that way. I wasn’t. I was on hold. If Justin hadn’t come into my life when he did, I probably wouldn’t be here now. I actually love to celebrate my birthday now. Each day is a miracle. I see things differently now that I evolved. I had no choice. Justin didn’t give me a choice, neither did fate. I am glad that I followed Justin’s voice out of the coma and back to life. I don’t think, if my body had crashed again, I would have had the energy to fight to live. Justin gave me the strength to live. I couldn’t leave him alone with the twins. I needed to be with him.”

Deb sighed remembering and as Daphne drove up, the grin on her face was precious. “Okay Deb, what were you thinking about that you have that look?”

“Sorry, I was just remembering the first time I was in The Love Nest.”

“Yeah, you have come to love the twins and their father. You had been a little protective of him. Get in. Cynthia needs to get home. ”

“What is going on?”

“Deb, Cynthia isn’t carrying one or two babies. She is carrying triplets.”

“We should celebrate. That is great news.”

“Not exactly. Cynthia has conjoined twins and we don’t know how bad. Brian is taking this hard. So is Justin.” Cynthia was asleep in the back seat so she didn’t hear the conversation. “Let’s drop it until we get home.”

“Can’t Brian ever get a break?” Deb mumbled under her breath.