Authors note: Some of these things have happened to me, especially the cake on my fifteenth birthday. I couldn’t have sleepovers, rarely saw my cousins, etc.

Dinner was going quite well. Brian allowed himself to participate in the conversation since some of it was about how they preferred him to treat Justin when he was in a seizure. Several times, Justin grew red in the face. His folks were embarrassing him. His stress level was increasing exponentially as he was ridiculed and talked about as if he weren’t even there. It was probably this treatment that set Justin off most of the time.

Then it was time for dessert, a beautiful chocolate cake with chocolate whip cream filling and frosting. It was going to be for Justin’s birthday even though they would not be there for his actual birthday. It fell on the third week of their vacation. It had 19 candles on it. Justin made a wish and blew out his candles. The candles were removed. The wish was one that had never come true before. At least, the first part of it was. He wished for a friend who would understand him and acceptance from that friend and his parents. It was always the same wish. Someday, he promised himself. Someday.

As Jennifer started to hand him the knife to cut the first piece. Justin’s eyes went up in his head and he started to fall. This time, his body landed head first into the cake as he went into a full fledged Grand Mal seizure flailing arms and legs banging against the table. Brian knowing that this was his first test quickly acted. He made sure that the face was no longer embedded in the cake and he grabbed him and lowered him to the floor and at the same time he rolled his jacket into a pillow and put it under his head. It didn’t help much because Justin’s head was banging from side to side and you could see the floor was doing damage to his features. Jennifer immediately tried to hand Brian something to put in Justin’s mouth. Brian pushed it away and immediately stated, “They have proven that he can’t swallow his tongue and objects in his mouth could only damage his teeth.” Brian had stated a couple of online sites for Epilepsy that were up to date on procedures for taking care of an epileptic. He spoke with authority.

“But he could bite his tongue.”

“Yeah, he probably will but a tongue is one of the quickest parts of the body to heal. A swollen tongue is an inconvenience but doesn’t last long.”

“You sound like an authority.”

“I am in a way. My friend has epilepsy and I am usually there to help him since we were fourteen except for now that I am in college. His mother keeps tabs on him too and he is twenty one.” Jennifer bristled at that last statement but she kept watching Brian taking care of her son. He was doing everything right. He even had grabbed a napkin and had wiped off Justin’s chocolate covered face. Brian was keeping track of the time via the large clock in the room. It was lasting a long time. Justin was going on five minutes and suddenly he had wet his pants. One of the more embarrassing aspects of these attacks so Brian grabbed for a dish towel that Jennifer was presenting and covered his pants by tucking it in his belt so that the evidence couldn’t be seen. The jerky tonic and clonic movements were finally slowing down. First, Justin’s head stilled and then his arms and legs. Brian wondered how a parent could leave their child for his eighteenth birthday. This was just wrong. No wonder Justin had a seizure today. He vowed he would do something special for Justin on his actual birthday.

Justin lay on the floor exhausted and asleep. These bouts took a lot out of him and he needed to sleep the effects off. Brian had wiped off the little bit of blood from his mouth when he had bit into his lip. Now that it had stopped, Brian said something that surprised Jennifer.

“Mrs. Taylor, do you have a journal of his seizures so I can jot down the duration and consequences of this seizure. Then I want to carry Justin to his bed and undress him so that he will feel more at ease when he wakes up.” Jennifer handed the book that she kept all Justin’s spells in so that the doctor would know what type and how often. She watched as Brian meticulously jotted down everything including the pants mishap. She was impressed. Now she felt more at ease leaving Justin in Brian’s care. She looked over what he had written. He had left nothing out. This boy was more descriptive than she was.

Once that was done, Brian bent down and put Justin in a fireman’s carry so that he could carry him up the stairs. With one hand, Brian turned down the bed and then placed Justin on the sheets. He quickly undressed Justin and then put a clean pair of briefs on him. His breath caught when he saw Justin’s penis. It was large even limp. He had the strangest thought but shook it off. This boy was his charge not a trick, but he couldn’t help it he had to lick his lips. Justin was a beauty, a sight to behold. He stared at Justin for a while as he slept stroking his hair while he sat by his side. Brian covered Justin with the bedclothes though he wished he could look at him forever. His alabaster skin was calling him. He just had to keep himself calm. At that moment, there was a knock at Justin’s door.

“Come in.” Brian said.

Jennifer walked in to see a peaceful Justin sleeping. “He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He looks so normal.”

“That is because he is normal. He is just burdened with a condition that pops up every so often. Like people who are diabetic or people who have to take nitroglycerin to keep themselves well. You should count your blessings. He could have been worse off. He could have been a paraplegic or worse. You had an unnatural birth and things happen sometimes. No one is at fault. You should cherish him even more and stop being embarrassed by him. He has no control over these episodes.”

It is my fault. If only the umbilical cord hadn’t wrapped itself around his neck stopping the flow of oxygen or the placenta hadn’t come out first he would have been perfect. Instead he was a blue baby and one they never expected to live. I am the guilty one.”

“Mrs. Taylor, there is no guilt here. He is a miracle. He survived. You should be grateful and not ashamed.”

“Don’t tell me how I should feel!” Jennifer exclaimed.

“You’re right. It isn’t my right nor are your feelings either right or wrong. They just are. Embrace them and work them.”

Quickly changing the subject, Jennifer asked, “Would you like a piece of the cake or should I just throw it away.”

“The cake looked real fine. It will taste great even if some of the frosting now has Justin’s impression. I will go down and get a piece for myself and Justin. He should have a piece of his birthday cake.”

“He sometimes sleeps for a long time.”

“I know. Remember Michael, my best friend, has them.”

“Oh, right.”

“I will just sit with him till he wakes up. No matter how long it takes. I will follow you down so that I can get that cake. Also, we should get a steak for his eye. It is very swollen.”

“Now you know why we won’t let him stay home alone.” Brian nodded. “You did quite well today. You will do nicely.”

“Thank you.”

*******************