Note: This story is a fun one that revolves around 
a Halloween party that the President throws.


President Josiah Bartlet stood in front of his Senior Staff, as he 
concluded that morning's meeting. The group was just about to disperse, when 
the President's voice halted them.

"Just one more thing before you leave. You will all be joining me 
tomorrow night at a Halloween party that the Mrs. and I are hosting at the 
residence. I look forward to seeing you all then."

CJ Cregg, Leo McGarry, Toby Ziegler, Sam Seaborn and Josh Lyman all 
reacted with surprise. This was the first they'd heard about a party. CJ 
spoke first. "Sir, didn't you mean to say that we are all invited to the 
party tomorrow and you'll be happy to see us if we are able to attend?"

"No, CJ, I didn't."

"But, sir-..." Toby began.

"Don't 'but sir' me, Toby. You are all coming...It'll be fun."

Toby sighed and grumbled, "No, sir, fun would be handing toothbrushes out 
to the brats and then watching their sad little faces, just like I do every 
year...Now that's fun, that's tradition."

The President smiled slightly and then shook his head at Toby, "As 
persuasive as that argument was, Toby, you're still coming." 

Toby rolled his eyes and rubbed at the back of his neck. Sam spoke next.

"With all due respect, sir, don't you find it a little hypocritical of 
you to accept the title as leader of the free world and then order us to 
attend a Halloween party?" Sam inquired.

"No, Sam, I don't. Do you?"

Sam shook his head uncomfortably. "No, no, I was just asking if you did."

It was Leo's turn to speak. "Sir, it is unfair of you to demand that we 
attend a party that is not work related."

President Bartlet smiled at him. "It is unfair of me to force you to 
respond enthusiastically about my making chili, yet I did it anyway, 
Leo...I'm President, so I can...It's one of the perks."

Josh gestured to the President that he wished to speak. "Yes, Josh."

"Sir, maybe you've forgotten that I do not partake in Halloween 
festivities, so I'm afraid I must decline." Josh spoke, his head down.

"Tell me again why you shun the holiday, Josh." The President asked, a 
small smile pulling at his lips.

Groans spread throughout the room, as the group lamented the fact that 
they'd have to hear this story again. 

"Well, sir, it was my seventh Halloween and-..." Josh began.

Toby sighed loudly. "If I am forced to listen to this idiotic story one 
more time, I will not be held responsible for my actions."

The President threw Toby a warning look and then gestured to Josh to 
continue. "It was my seventh Halloween and I was invited to a party at my 
friend Timmy's house. I went as a ghost-..."

Josh paused momentarily as he heard Sam's whispered comment to CJ, "The 
originality of that costume strikes me every time."

Josh then continued, but not before rewarding Sam with a glare. "I went 
as a ghost, a classic costume might I add. Anyway, I was having a grand 
time, until it was time to hit the Piņata. The third person to hit it was 
Billy Hert, this gigantic moose of a seven year old. Well, he went to swing 
and he hit it really hard. The Piņata then hit me in the head, knocked me 
off my chair and sent me flying headfirst into the apple bobbing bowl. I 
chipped a tooth when my mouth hit an apple and was *this close* to having a 
concussion from the Piņata impact...After that, I swore off all Halloween 
parties." 

Sam pretended to sniffle and placed a dramatic hand to his chest. "That 
story always gets me right here."

CJ, Leo, Toby and the President tried to contain their laughter at Sam's 
antics, while Josh tried to control his urge to strangle him. 

He responded with thinly veiled embarrassment. "Laugh if you like, but I 
can't look at an apple without thinking of that night and I don't do too well 
around stuffed animals either."

The group chuckled lightly at Josh, who proceeded to blush. The 
President spoke next. "Tragic as your story is, Josh, I feel that it is time 
you overcame your fear. And what better time to do that than my party 
tomorrow."

"But, sir, I-..." Josh started.

"No more buts about it. If you are all not there tomorrow, then I will 
personally subject each one of you to a two hour lecture on the history of 
Candy Corn on Monday," the President threatened.

Each staff member mumbled a reluctant "I'll be there."

The President smiled. "Now that's the spirit. Make sure you pass the word 
around to your staffs. Also, on your way out, pick up a sheet from Mrs. 
Landingham telling you which costume you've been assigned."

The mouths of the staff once again fell open. Leo spoke. "Sir, I'm afraid 
that you have just gone too far. Now you're telling us what to wear?"

"It appears that way, doesn't it, Leo? I feel that I must. If I didn't, 
then you'd all probably show up in work attire and say you were pretending to 
be compliant, serving at the pleasure of the President staff members...And 
that would just be too much of a stretch, now wouldn't it?"

A few hesitant and muffled "Yes, sirs" were said in response. 

"Dismissed," the President said with a wave of his hand and a smile upon 
his face.

The disgruntled staff members slowly made their way out of the office and 
over to Mrs. Landingham. She handed them each a piece of paper. Five pairs of 
eyes widened almost simultaneously as they read their costume assignments.

"A clown!" Toby yelled.

"A crayon!" CJ exclaimed.

"Robin Hood!" Sam screamed.

"A puppy!" Leo grumbled.

"An apple!" Josh lamented.

They all sighed in exasperation. Leo shook his head. "Never let it be 
said that that man does not have a sense of humor...A strange one, but one 
nonetheless."

***************

The next day, Donna Moss hurriedly caught up to her boss, Josh's side. 
She began talking quickly, as if he'd been involved in a conversation with 
her for some time. "...So I went to the store to buy my Halloween costume and 
this woman tried to buy the one that I wanted. It was the last one and it 
was my size. It *definitely* was not her size. We were practically fighting 
over it and-..."

Josh halted her ramble with a hand held up. "Is there a point anywhere in 
this incoherent mess?"

Donna shook her head. "No. Must I always have a point?"

Josh shrugged, while grinning. "Nah, why start now?"

Donna rewarded him with a light swat on the arm, as she tried to keep up 
with the quick pace he'd resumed. When she was finally dead even with him, 
she held her hands out in front of him, displaying her fingernails brightly 
painted with red nail polish.

"Josh, can you tell the difference between these two nail polishes?"

Josh glanced at her nails quickly, before turning to her with a look of 
absurdity.

"Donna, can you tell from the expression on my face that I couldn't care 
less?"

Donna briefly surveyed his face, before nodding. "Yes, I can."

"Then why are you still here with your nails talking to me?"

"Because I value your opinion."

"No, you don't."

"Starting now, I value your opinion."

Josh stopped walking for a second and looked at Donna. "I am a very busy 
man, Donna. I make decisions every day that affect people's lives. Some 
people around here even value my opinion. Now, do you understand that asking 
me a stupid question about nail polish may be just a tiny waste of my 
invaluable time?"

Donna shook her head, as she began walking with Josh again. "No, I don't 
understand that, Josh...I need to know which one is better, it's for my 
costume tonight. Come on, I always offer my opinion on stuff for you."

Josh nodded. "Yes, yes you do. You always offer your unsolicited opinion 
to me."

"See? So why can't you help me for once?"

"Because I don't care."

"But I care that your Friday tie is ugly and doesn't match your suit."

Josh paused, realizing it was Friday. He looked down at his tie and 
picked it up for a second. 

"You think my Friday tie is ugly?"

"Yes, I do."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?

"You never asked."

"That never stopped you before," Josh replied with a small grin.

Donna sighed and then a tiny smile pulled at her lips. "If you don't help 
me then I am going to repeatedly remind you of the fact that you will be 
wearing an apple costume tonight."

"Donna, you know of my dislike for apples...Now I am going to look 
ridiculous while dressed up as one...Isn't that enough torture for one day?" 
Josh replied.

Donna laughed. "Oh please, it's such an absurd fear...I mean, a fear of 
apples?...Really, Josh."

Josh held a warning finger up to her. "There is no fear, Donna...No 
fear...I am just not particularly fond of apples, that's all."

Donna laughed and nodded. "It's still absurd."

Josh dropped his head and mumbled his response. "Hey, you weren't 
there...It...it was traumatic."

With one last laugh, Donna turned on her heel and was about to head in 
the opposite direction, when Josh's voice halted her. She turned back around 
to face him. He asked his question, a certain amount of embarrassment 
present in his voice. "So...What..um...costume are you going to be wearing 
that you need to have such a bright nail polish for?"

Donna smiled at him. "A belly dancer costume."

Josh's mouth fell open slightly and he had to raise a hand to the wall to 
steady himself. He stammered. "A bel...Wow, that...that sounds nice...Really 
good...You might be a little cold...But good...Okay...I have work to 
do...Work...Work to do...Okay, I'll be going now." 

Donna grinned, as Josh turned to his left and practically walked into the 
wall. He smiled awkwardly at her and then pointed down the hall. "That's a 
wall...I have to go that way."

Donna nodded at him and then smiled to herself, as she watched his 
retreating figure. 

*******

Toby sat in his office reading over Sam's first draft of the speech the 
President was to deliver to the fourth grade class at Lincoln Elementary 
School on Monday. The President had decided that every year he would speak 
to an elementary school, so that children could develop an interest in their 
country at a young age.

Unfortunately for Sam, Toby was in an even more unpleasant mood than 
usual, due to the fact that he was being forced to wear a clown costume to 
the party that night.

Toby mumbled to himself, as he finished reading a line "This is no good. 
What was he thinking?!"

An irritated Toby looked up when he heard a knock on his door. Sam stood 
in the doorway, a smile upon his face. "So, how do you like the speech?"

Toby gestured to him to enter. "Oh good, you're here. I can yell at you 
now instead of later."

Sam's face fell, as he took his seat in front of him. "Must you yell? 
I've always responded better to criticism delivered in a soft voice with a 
smile."

Toby's hard eyes stared him down. "Yes, I must yell. Yelling makes me 
feel better about *you*. Yelling helps me stop myself from beating *you* to a 
pulp."

Sam managed a weak smile. "Do as you must."

Toby shook his head and pointed to a sentence in the first paragraph. 
"Tell me, Sam. Does the average fourth grader understand the word 
'gregarious'?"

"I did."

"I said average. You memorized the dictionary by the age of two."

Sam nodded. "Okay, I'll change it."

Toby shook his head once again, a grimace upon his face. "Is it really 
necessary to have the President comment that ' "Pokemon:The Movie" was a very 
fine piece of film making'?"

"It demonstrates a bridging of a generation gap on his part."

"It demonstrates an intelligence gap on your part." Toby responded 
bluntly.

"I see nothing wrong with it." Sam countered.

"Nothing wrong with it? Sam, you want the President to say and I quote 
'Pikachu is a classic heroic character'. I see many things wrong with 
it...Many."

Sam sighed and shifted in his seat beneath Toby's glare. Toby continued. 
"First, may I inquire as to how you know so much about Pokemon?"

"I took my nephew to see it."

Toby smiled insincerely at him. "Heartwarming...Okay, besides the fact 
that Pokemon has nothing whatsoever to do with this nation, there is another 
reason that the President will not be saying one word about Pikachu and his 
compadres."

"And what would that be, Toby?"

Toby rolled his eyes in annoyance at Sam, his face reddening. "Because 
the President has absolutely no idea who Pikachu is! If you mentioned the 
word 'Pikachu' to the him, he'd respond with 'God bless you' and continue on 
his way!"

Sam moved forward in his seat and tried to smile at him. "Toby, would you 
like me to remove the Pokemon parts?"

Toby spoke through clenched teeth. "No, no, Sam, I wouldn't. In fact, 
from now on I would like you to include references to Pokemon in every speech 
for the President."

"I'll fix it," Sam replied, barely hiding his displeasure at Toby's 
sarcasm. 

Sam leaned back in his chair and studied Toby, who was still reading the 
draft. As he continued to peruse him, he let a small chuckle escape. 

Toby looked up at him with suspicious eyes. "What? What was that laugh 
for?"

Sam feigned ignorance. "Laugh? What laugh? I didn't laugh."

Toby slowly lowered his eyes back to the paper. Sam continued to watch 
Toby and then let another laugh, this time louder, escape from his lips.

Toby through his pen down and looked at Sam with agitation clearly 
sketched across his face. "What are you laughing about? You know I could be 
laughing now, too. I could be laughing at the fact that you have an amazing 
grasp of the English language, yet absolutely no idea how to express it in 
your writing...But I'm not. I'm not laughing. Do you know why I am not 
laughing, Sam? Because I don't laugh."

Sam did his best to hide his irritation at the insult. He grinned at 
him. "I apologize. I was simply trying to picture you, Toby Ziegler, the 
closest living thing to a statue that I've ever met, in a clown costume. 
Come on, give it a try...Picture it...Guaranteed to cure that inability to 
laugh."

Toby's face hardened at Sam, but then he managed a small grin. "The only 
thing that could make me laugh is picturing you in your Robin Hood costume. 
I'm sure those tights will accentuate your chicken legs nicely."

Sam's face fell. "Chicken legs?! I happen to have very nice, shapely 
legs, Toby."

Toby looked down at his work and responded without looking up. "I've seen 
you in shorts, Sam...There was a whole group of baby chicks lined up behind 
you last time."

Sam stood up and stammered for an appropriate rebuttal. "Well, you...you 
are...you're just-..."

Unable to think of anything, Sam turned around and left the room in 
frustration. 

Toby smiled and spoke to himself. "Yeah, that grasp of the English 
language never ceases to amaze."

**************

CJ was sitting in front of her laptop busily typing, when she heard a 
knock on her open door. She responded without acknowledging the visitor.

"Go away."

"It's me, CJ." Danny's voice responded.

"In that case, go away now."

Danny grinned, as he leaned on the frame of her door. 

"I've always liked red."

CJ briefly glanced at him in curiosity before turning back to her work. 
"I am working, Danny. I really don't have any interest in discussing your 
favorite color and my favorite food."

"Moo Goo Gai Pan."

CJ turned to him, a smile pulling at her lips. "How did you...No, never 
mind, I don't care."

Danny smiled at her. "Blue's my favorite color, not red."

"Not that I care, but you just said you like red." CJ responded.

"As a crayon color...I've always found it to be very sexy." Danny's 
eyes focused on her, waiting for the look he knew he was about to receive.

CJ took her eyeglasses off and shook her head at him. "How did you find 
out about that?"

Danny grinned. "The President is very fond of me."

"He didn't inv-.." 

Danny smiled widely at her. "Fond enough to invite me to his Halloween 
party tonight."

CJ placed a hand to her forehead. "Oh God."

"So I was thinking of going as a Burnt Sienna, what do you think?"

CJ raised a warning finger up to him. "No, Danny, don't. Do not wear the 
same costume as I am."

"I'm not...I'm going as a Burnt Sienna, you have at least 63 other colors 
at your disposal."

CJ bent her head, as she shook it back and forth. Danny watched her with 
a smile and then said. "But I'd go with the Red if I were you."

With that, he left the room. CJ sighed and fell back in her chair.

*************

Leo sat in the President's office, briefing him on the day's events. 
"Josh is meeting with Senator Potter to discuss-..."

Leo's sentence was interrupted by the President. "Leo, have you gotten 
your costume for tonight yet?"

Leo shook his head at him. "Sir, with all due respect, I don't think you 
should be thinking about my attire for tonight and I do think you should be 
listening to what I am saying."

The President waved a dismissive hand. "Ah, it's always the same stuff, 
Leo. Josh this, Toby that. They'll be in here soon enough telling me 
everything that went wrong with what they were supposed to be doing 
anyway...It's Halloween, loosen up."

"Mr. President, you know that I've never been a big fan of this holiday 
or any other for that matter." Leo responded.

Yes, Leo, I do...And I've always thought that to be one of your biggest 
flaws."

Leo shrugged, as the President continued. "So, did you get your costume 
or not?"

Leo looked at him, with annoyance in his eyes that he was unable to hide. 
"No, I did not. A puppy, sir? Come on."

President Bartlet smiled. "Aw, I think you'll look cute. It'll soften 
that cantankerous attitude you've mastered so well."

Leo smiled slightly. "Actually, I think it'll only serve to enhance it." 

The President grinned. "As long as you wear it, I don't care what it 
does."

"But a puppy? I-..."

"What's the matter, Leo? You are housebroken, aren't you?" The 
President asked with a well-hidden smile.

Leo nodded at him. "That's very funny, sir. You are a very humorous man."

"So I've been told."

"But don't you think that it is the least bit irresponsible of you to use 
your power in order to force your staff to do as you please, purely for the 
benefit of entertaining yourself?" Leo asked.

The President smiled widely at him. "Yes, Leo, I do....And I love the 
fact that I can."

Leo shook his head in defeat, a small smile on his lips.

*************

Since the Senior Staff members had to work late, their costumes were 
delivered directly to their offices. 

C.J. now stood outside of Toby's office, banging on the door in 
frustration. "Toby! Open the door! The party is starting soon!"

From behind the door, came Toby's response. "No! I am not going out there 
looking like a reject from the Barnum and Bailey Circus."

C.J. sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

Toby grumbled, as he surveyed his appearance in the mirror hanging on the 
closet door in his office. "It's worse than I think."

C.J. banged her fist against the door again, as she finally lost her 
patience. "If you want sympathy, then you've got the wrong gal! I am 
standing here with the word 'CRAYOLA' written all the way down my body, for 
heaven's sake!"

Toby smirked, as he suddenly felt the urge to see C.J. in her crayon 
costume. He walked over to the door and slowly opened it up. The laugh that 
was seldom heard, erupted from his mouth as he took her in.

C.J. had on a bright red foam costume that encircled her thin body. The 
word 'CRAYOLA' was written down it in big, bold black letters. Atop her 
head, sat a pointy red hat that served as the tip of the crayon...She had 
never looked or felt more ridiculous in her life. 

A scowl immediately appeared on C.J.'s face, as Toby struggled to stifle 
his laughter. He managed an insincere, "You...look...nice. Are you supposed 
to be a fire hydrant?" 

Toby quickly tried to close the door, but C.J. stuck her foot in between 
it and the frame to prevent him from doing so. She then forced the door open 
and perused him as he had done to her. 

It was C.J.'s turn to almost double over in laughter. 

Toby was wearing a cotton jumper, with multicolored polka dots on a 
yellow background. Four big red pompoms ran down his chest and a white 
ruffled collar surrounded his neck. On his feet he wore enormous, red 
plastic shoes. A curly pink wig sat atop his head and a red rubber nose was 
at the center of his face.

Toby rolled his eyes in agitation at C.J., his arms folded across his 
chest and his lips curled into a frown. "C.J., this is NOT funny...This is in 
no way funny!"

C.J. took a deep breath and smiled. "Oh yes, it is. On a list of 'Top Ten 
Funny Things', this would be number one."

"Oh, I am so glad that you are amused at my expense...I should have 
expected as much."

C.J. sighed. "Why is it okay for you to laugh at me, but not me at you?"

"Because I don't respond well to ridicule." Toby replied.

C.J. laughed. "Well, you better get used to it...You're a walking target 
tonight."

Toby growled at C.J., but she continued anyway. "Although, you'd be a 
better target and a better clown with a little make-up."

Toby's eyes widened and he held his hands up as if in defense. "Back off 
or my big floppy feet will stomp you into a million wax pieces."

C.J. smiled and shook her head at him. "Lighten up, Toby. Everybody is 
going to look ridiculous...We'll all look ridiculous together." 

Toby mumbled his reply. "I hate nothing more than the thought of looking 
ridiculous with all of you."

C.J. smiled, as she shoved Toby out the door.

* * * * * 

Down the hall, Mallory was busy helping her father, Leo, into the rest of 
his costume. She smiled at him. "Oh, you look so cute, Dad."

Leo rolled his eyes at his daughter. "Mal, if you use the word 'cute' one 
more time when referring to me, I swear I'll cut you out of my will."

Mallory grinned and then stood back, taking in his appearance. Leo was 
dressed head to toe in light brown fur, with a white belly at his center. His 
head was covered with brown fur and large, floppy ears hung down close to his 
shoulders. His hands were also gloved in white fur and now resembled 
paws...He would have looked like a cuddly puppy, except for the near 
permanent scowl now upon his face.

Mallory walked up to him and petted his head. "You be a good puppy 
tonight, okay?"

Leo smiled insincerely. "Being only a puppy and all, I'm afraid I might 
not be able to stop my jaws from somehow finding the leg of a certain 
tights-clad staffer."

Mallory's eyes narrowed at her father. "Dad, you better leave Sam alone 
tonight."

Leo feigned innocence. "Who said anything about, Sam? My what a 
suspicious mind you have...You must have gotten that from your mother."

Mallory smiled at her father. "Yes, I must have. And you should know a 
little something about puppies already, seeing as you've spent so much time 
in the doghouse."

Leo shook his head, a smile on his lips. "Look at the way she talks to 
her father."

Leo turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. "And look at how 
the President repays me for all of my loyal service...All of the years of 
friendship and advice I've given him...All of the time I spent getting him 
elected into office...All of that
and *this* is my reward."

Mallory laughed, as she placed a hand on her father's shoulder. "Oh stop 
being so dramatic, Dad...It wouldn't kill you to learn how to have a little 
fun."

Leo grinned at her. "You don't know that, it just might."

Mallory shook her head and walked towards the door. "I'll see you at the 
party, Dad." 

She left her father's office and walked down the hall, pausing at the 
open door of Sam's office. She smiled as she watched him. He was standing 
in front of a mirror that hung on the inside of his closet door. His hands 
were at his hips and he was posing in the mirror, a smile spread across his 
lips. Mallory listened carefully when she heard the soft mumble of his 
voice. 

"Unhand her, you ruffian!...I am Robin Hood!"

Mallory placed a hand to her mouth, so that Sam would not hear her 
laughter. She continued to watch and listen to him, as he removed a plastic 
sword from his side and held it out in front of him. He spoke, his voice 
rising.

"You're no match for me!...If it's a duel you want, then it's a duel 
you'll get!...I am Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, I never back down from a 
challenge!"

Mallory tried desperately to control her laughter, as Sam gracefully 
swished the sword back and forth. She, however, lost her battle and a rather 
loud chuckle emerged from her mouth. 

Sam stopped in mid-swish and slowly turned to his side. His gaze fell 
upon Mallory and his mouth dropped open slightly. His eyes registered the 
horror he felt. He struggled to find the right words, but instead only came 
up with, "A fly."

Mallory's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Excuse me, Sam? Did you say 'a 
fly'?"

Sam nodded and spoke nervously. "Yes, yes I did. I...I was trying to kill 
a fly...with the sword...That's what I was doing...just...just now."

Mallory smiled at him. "Oh, that's what you were doing. So swords 
instead of fly swatters are the insect squashers of choice in the White 
House?"

Sam shook his head and uttered a soft. "No, my fly swatter's in the shop."

Mallory laughed, shaking her head. "Sam."

He slowly relented and nodded. He muttered in an embarrassed tone, "I...I 
was...I was just getting in character."

Sam tried to smile, but failed miserably. His face reddened as he 
realized that his sword was still in mid-air. He slowly lowered it to his 
side. Mallory grinned widely as she entered the room. "I think that you are 
more than in character already."

Sam smiled easily now, a weird sense of pride washing over him. 

Mallory's eyes perused him. He was wearing a brown suede vest, with a 
thin white shirt beneath it. A skirt-like piece of apparel of the same suede 
covered his legs to just above the knee and a belt was fastened securely at 
his waist. His legs wore dark green tights and his feet brown suede shoes. 
A pointy hat of the same color suede was perched atop his head, a green 
feather sticking out of it. A brown leather sheath sat at his side, which 
served to hold his sword. A strap fell across his chest, which held his bow 
and arrows in place at his back. 

Mallory found the outfit to be strangely sexy and she approached him with 
that look in her eyes. Sam swallowed hard. "You...You really think I look 
like Robin Hood?"

She nodded, as she reached him. Mallory fingered his shirt and ran her 
index finger down his chest. "Oh yeah."

Sam nodded, his words emerging awkwardly. "And am I to take this touching 
of my body to mean you find it sexy?"

Mallory leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Definitely."

Sam grinned and nodded. "In that case, this is *definitely* not going 
back to the rental store."

Mallory nodded, a small laugh following out of her mouth. "See, now this 
is nice. You've accepted your costume assignment and tried to have fun with 
it. Everyone else, my father included, is doing nothing but whine."

Sam smiled. "In their defense, I got the coolest costume assignment."

Mallory nodded in agreement, as Sam continued in a ramble. "Although, I 
was a little wary at first, too. I mean, not every guy can pull off an 
outfit like this. And then Toby made me feel insecure about my legs...Which 
I should have expected, since he's bitter about the whole clown thing...and 
Pokemon, I think...But then I realized that my legs have good definition 
and-..."

"Sam," Mallory interrupted him.

"Yes," Sam replied quickly.

"Shut up," Mallory stated with a smile.

"Okay," Sam responded, with a trace of bewilderment in his voice.

"And kiss me," Mallory demanded in a breathy whisper. 

"Okay," Sam said, a grin creeping onto his face. 

Then he slowly lowered his lips to hers, capturing them in a soft kiss. 

When they parted, he finally noticed her costume. He smiled at her. "A 
nurse, huh?"

Mallory smiled. "Yup. You like?"

Sam nodded, as he took her in. She was wearing a very short white dress, 
with panty hose and high heels to match. A little white hat sat atop her 
head and a stethoscope hung around her neck. 

"Oh yeah, I like. And that one's not going back to the store either," he 
replied enthusiastically.

Mallory smiled mischievously. "I'm a step ahead of you, Mr. 
Seaborn...This baby is already bought and paid for."

Sam grinned in surprise and spoke slowly. "Well, I hope that stethoscope 
isn't going back either because it could come in handy down the road...You're 
*already* giving me heart palpitations."

Mallory laughed, before kissing him again and saying, "Then this costume 
has *already* paid for itself."

Sam nodded with a smile and then took Mallory's hand, leading her out of 
his office. 

* * * * *

A few doors down, Donna was doing the same thing C.J. had been doing 
minutes before.

"Josh! Open the door!"

"No!" The muffled reply came from behind the door.

"Joshua!"

"Donnatella!"

"The President will not be pleased if you are late!"

"I have decided that I value my dignity more than this job." Josh replied.

Donna smiled slightly. "Josh, you lost your dignity the moment I found 
you lying on the floor with panties around your neck."

Behind the door, Josh nodded in agreement and then sighed.

"True, but that was a private humiliation...I prefer my humiliations to 
be private."

Donna stomped her foot in frustration. "Joshua Lyman, if you do not open 
this door this instant, I am going to start singing that song you hate."

"Please, don't."

"Then open the door."

"No."

"Fine, you leave me no choice...Let's see...How does the chorus go? Oh 
yeah...'Upside, inside out, she's livin' la vida loca...She'll push and pull 
you down...Livin' la vida loca...Her lips are-'..."

"Stop! Just stop, please! I'll open the door, I'll open the door." 
Josh's irritated voice interjected.

Donna smiled proudly at herself. Josh finally opened the door and held 
his index finger up to her. 

"Never, ever do that again."

"I knew you hated that song." Donna replied.

"Yes, I do, but that's not why you must never, ever do that again."

"Then why?"

"Because I hate your voice."

"My voice? Why?" Donna's eyes narrowed at him.

Josh ran a hand along his forehead and closed his eyes as he spoke.

"Because your voice makes nails on a chalkboard seem like music to my 
ears, Donna."

Donna's eyes shone at him, a hint of anger present in them.

"I happen to have a very nice voice, Joshua. It is not my fault that you 
have no taste."

"Oh I have taste. It's my hearing that you damaged." Josh replied 
sarcastically, with a grin upon his lips.

Donna rewarded him with a goodhearted slap on the arm, during which she 
finally noticed his costume. She tried to hold in her laughter, as her eyes 
surveyed his appearance. It was simple: He wore a huge, red apple-shaped 
cotton costume, with holes for his legs and arms. 

Donna tried to speak as sincerely as possible. "You look great, Josh."

Josh looked down at his costume, suddenly aware of how ridiculous he 
looked. "Nice try, but I know I look like an idiot...I feel like one, too."

Donna grinned. "It's about time you looked the part."

Josh threw her an insincere grin. "Well, thank you very much. Your 
support never fails to overwhelm me, Donna."

"Well, what did you want me to say? That you don't look like an idiot?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't know. A 'Josh, I know this is hard for you, but 
you're the best apple I've ever seen' would've been nice."

Donna smiled. "Josh, I know this is-..."

Josh interrupted her with a hand held up. "Too little, too late."

Donna shrugged and held up the hat she'd been holding. "Here's your stem 
and leaf cap."

Josh rolled his eyes. "As if this costume wasn't already embarrassing 
enough."

Donna smiled, as she came closer to him. She pulled the elastic string 
and placed it around his chin. She adjusted the cap so that it sat slightly 
askew atop head. "Perfect. You're all set." Donna announced, as she stepped 
back. 

It was during this time that Josh finally noticed her belly dancer 
costume. Donna looked gorgeous in a gold and purple sequined pants and 
halter top set. Her finely toned stomach was accentuated nicely, as the 
pants began just below her navel and the top began just below her breasts. 
The halter top was quite low-cut, leaving little, but enough, to the 
imagination. Hanging from her halter top, were strings of faux white pearls 
that dangled in drapes across her stomach. A crown of gold sequins and white 
pearls sat atop her head, with a short gauzy gold veil falling over her 
blonde hair, which had been swept up into a mass of curls.

Josh swallowed around the lump in his throat, as he absorbed her. Donna 
spoke, as she twirled in front of him. "So what do you think?"

Josh was struggling to form a coherent thought, so he blurted out the 
first thing that came to his mind.

"'Glisteny'...You look very 'glisteny'." Josh mumbled, while rubbing at 
the back of his neck.

"'Glisteny'? That's not even a word, Josh." Donna replied, a trace of 
disappointment in her voice.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not, Joshua."

Josh shrugged, as he forced himself to look away from her. He was 
suddenly aware of the fact that he was beginning to sweat profusely...And he 
didn't think it was because of the costume. He tried to speak nonchalantly.

"Hey, it was compliment."

"A compliment?"

"Yes."

"If that's what you consider a compliment, then I think you need to look 
the word up in the dictionary." Donna responded. 

Josh sighed, while rubbing at his face. 

"You practically blinded me, Donna. If that's not 'glisteny', then I 
don't know what is."

"Fine, I'm 'glisteny, but that still doesn't qualify as a compliment."

Josh rolled his eyes. "Geez, fishing for compliments...I never expected 
that of you."

Donna sighed in defeat, before grabbing his arm and dragging him towards 
the door. "Oh just forget it...Let's go."

Josh sighed in relief, as he wiped at his brow.

* * * * * * 

Josh and Donna met up with Sam and Mallory in the hallway. Mallory and 
Donna began to talk right away, quickly walking ahead of the guys. Josh and 
Sam stopped, sizing each other up. 

Sam smiled. "We look good, don't we?"

"Not gonna work this time, Sam." Josh said, shaking his head. 

Sam shrugged. "Speak for yourself, I look sexy...I already got the 
'Mallory seal of approval'."

Josh sighed. "Well, I look like an idiot...I already got the 'Donna seal 
of disapproval'."

Sam looked at him once again and nodded. "Yeah, I've got to go with her 
on that one."

Josh threw his hands up in exasperation. "Does anyone around here know 
how to speak words of comfort?! Anyone?...They don't have to be true, they 
just have to be comforting!"

Sam shrugged, placing his hand on Josh's shoulder. "Sorry, buddy. I got 
nothing."

"How is that possible? You write speeches for a living...You put words in 
*other* people's mouths...You're a lawyer, a politician, you lie for a 
living...How then is it that you have nothing to offer me?" Josh asked in 
agitation.

Sam shrugged once again. "It's a mystery to me as well."

Josh sighed, as the two of them kept walking. He quietly mumbled to 
himself. "And the worst thing is that she looks incredible and I look 
idiotic...Kill me now."

* * * * * *

Mallory, Sam, Josh and Donna all entered the large formal dining room at 
the President's residence. It was already filled with quite a few guests. 
The room was awash in Halloween decorations. Orange and black balloons 
filled each corner of the room, while streamers of the same color gathered at 
the center of the ceiling where the chandelier hung. The walls were covered 
with familiar Halloween pictures, such as witches and ghosts. Small pumpkin 
lanterns hung from the ceiling, giving the room a strange, but comfortable 
glow. 

Sam and Josh's eyes lit up when they spotted Toby and C.J. across the 
room. They were standing near the buffet table. Sam and Josh left the women 
and hurriedly walked over to their friends and colleagues. Toby and C.J.'s 
backs were turned to them, so they were about to be ambushed. 

Sam spoke first. "Ah, if it isn't Bozo, the Clown, and his sidekick, 
Scarlet the Stick."

Josh smiled, as Toby and C.J. scowled at Sam. Josh spoke next. "Hey, 
Toby, I love what you've done with your hair. It really complements your 
frown. And, C.J, what an exquisite hat. Where did you get it?"

C.J. and Toby laughed sarcastically at them both. Toby spoke through his 
insincere laugh. "Oh, you two are funny...Very funny, especially for two 
people who look like a bird in tights and a bloated tomato."

Josh and Sam clenched their teeth. Josh was the first one to speak. "I'm 
an apple, Toby!...An apple!"

Sam's delayed and equally lame response came next. "I don't look like a 
bird!"

Toby grinned. "Oh you don't...Robin?"

Sam's eyes fell to the floor. "Okay, so I have a bird name, but..."

"And a feather in your cap, " C.J. interjected. 

Sam was at a loss for a rebuttal, so he blurted out a weak, childish 
comeback. "Oh yeah...Well, at least I don't look like a stupid, mean clown 
and a big, tall red crayon!"

Toby laughed at Sam's simplistic and infantile comeback, as Josh rolled 
his eyes. Toby spoke. "Oh, you got me there, Sam...Put me right in my 
place...Now I'm too scared to give you a wedgie and steal your lunch money."

Sam huffed and then walked away in frustration. Josh smiled at C.J. and 
Toby and spoke softly. "He does have the coolest costume, you know."

C.J. nodded, while folding her arms across her chest. "I know, that's why 
we hate him." 

Toby nodded in agreement and responded with annoyance. "And why we must 
mock him relentlessly."

Josh laughed, while shaking his head.

* * * * * *

Mallory and Donna took their seats at a table. Sam was now talking to 
his assistant, Kathy, across the room from them and Josh was conversing with 
Toby. Mallory noticed that Donna's eyes hadn't left Josh's figure. 

"He's a great guy," Mallory said, causing Donna to turn to look at her. 

Donna responded with a slight smile. "Yeah, Sam is."

"Not Sam...I mean, yes, Sam is a great guy, but that's not who I was 
talking about," Mallory clarified.

Donna looked at her in confusion. "Then who did you mean?"

Mallory smiled. "Josh, of course."

Donna nodded, a little surprised. "Yeah, Josh can be 
great...Sometimes...When he isn't wrapped up in his little Josh world."

Mallory smiled softly at her. "I see the way he looks at you."

Donna's eyes widened at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that sometimes I can see in his eyes that his world revolves 
around you." Mallory stated with a grin.

Donna tried her best to laugh Mallory off, but the words still struck 
her. "Mallory, you have a very active imagination. Josh feels nothing like 
that for me...I can tell."

Mallory shook her head. "Let me guess...When you asked him how you looked 
in your costume, he got all tongue tied and said something stupid, right?"

Donna's eyebrows peaked and she nodded. "Yeah, how did you know that?"

Mallory smiled. "Because guys always say something stupid when a woman 
takes their breath away...I should know, I'm dating Sam."

Donna laughed, while Mallory's words dug deeper into her head. "I just 
don't know."

Mallory grinned and patted her hand. "Well, I do."

* * * * * *

C.J. was standing by herself at the buffet table, scooping a chip into 
some vegetable dip. She was counting down the minutes until this party was 
over because she was having a horrible time. Suddenly, she was startled by a 
voice that came from behind her.

"I was right...Red crayons are the sexiest of them all."

C.J. turned around to face Danny. She had just finished stuffing a chip 
into her mouth and some of the dip was now hanging from her lip without her 
knowledge. She smiled flirtatiously at him. She figured that she might as 
well throw caution to the wind that night and blatantly flirt right back at 
him.

"Oh you think so, do you?" 

"C.J-..." Danny tried to interrupt.

"I think you may be right, Danny." C.J. grinned.

"C.J., you have-..."

"For the first time, you just might be right," C.J said, while coming 
closer to him.

"C.J.!" Danny practically screamed, finally halting her speech. He spoke 
softly now and gestured to her lip. "Red crayons maybe sexy, but *that* is 
not."

C.J. lifted her fingers to her mouth and wiped at them, as she shook her 
head in embarrassment.

"That's what I get for trying to flirt back at you."

Danny smiled at her. "Don't let that stop you from giving it another go."

C.J. shook her head at him. "Oh, no. For my sake, it's better if you 
keep throwing yourself at me and I keep shooting you down."

"That doesn't mean we have to stop those impromptu kisses you're so fond 
of giving me though, does it?" Danny asked innocently.

C.J. smiled and shook her head. "No, those can stay."

Danny grinned and nodded happily. It was at this point that C.J. really 
noticed his costume. He was wearing the same costume as she was, except in 
yellow. 

C.J. sighed. "I thought you said you were going to be a Burnt Sienna."

"Changed my mind...The Burnt Sienna didn't bring out the color of my 
eyes."

C.J. laughed, as she shook her head at him. "Why yellow then?"

Danny smiled. "Well, I figured with you being red and me being yellow, we 
could maybe 'mix together' sometime and make orange."

C.J. chuckled at him. "Oh, Danny, you really know how to woo a girl."

Danny nodded and whispered into her ear. "And that's without even trying."

C.J. swallowed hard, as Danny's lips tickled her ear lobe. She spoke 
nervously. "Drink...I need a drink...Preferably an alcoholic one."

With that, C.J. left the side of a grinning Danny.

* * * * * * 

President and Mrs. Bartlet stood outside the dining room about to enter. 
Abbey was adjusting a part of his costume. 

"Jed, stop moving," Abbey demanded in irritation.

"Oh, Abbey, why did you have to make me wear this ridiculous costume?" 
The President whined.

Abbey smiled at him, "It's your punishment."

"I'm the President of the United States, it won't look very appropriate," 
he countered.

"It wasn't appropriate to order your loyal, hardworking staff to attend 
this party, but you did it anyway, Jed."

"But-.." He tried to interject.

"It wasn't appropriate to assign them embarrassing costumes and force 
them to wear them, but you, my dear, did it anyway." Abbey stated.

The President sighed. "The fact that I am President and can do almost 
anything I want within reason holds no water with you, does it?"

Abbey grinned, while touching his cheek lightly. "No, it doesn't. Just 
be thankful that I am here to put you in your place whenever need be. If I 
weren't, only God knows what you'd have those poor people doing. You'd 
probably have them walking around the West Wing on stilts, while juggling 
knives."

Bartlet's face brightened, a smile now occupying his lips. "Now *that* is 
a good idea...*That* is inspired."

Abbey shook her head at him, as she grabbed his hand and led him into the 
room.

* * * * *

The guests rose to their feet and turned their attention to the President 
and First Lady as they entered. They were surprised by the President's 
costume, but they did their best not to let it show. 

The President waved at them and gestured for them to be seated. "The 
First Lady and I would just like to thank you all for coming tonight. I know 
some of you would rather be other places, doing other things, but I am glad 
to have you here with us. Please, relax and have fun...You all deserve it."

The group gave him a quick round of applause, before beginning to mingle. 
The President and First Lady began to walk over to a table that seated C.J., 
Toby, Leo, Sam, Josh, Donna and Mallory. 

Sam elbowed Josh as he approached. "Do you have any idea why he's wearing 
what he's wearing?"

Josh whispered his reply. "No, but I'm willing to bet that Abbey had 
something to do with it."

The President and Mrs. Bartlet finally reached them and he smiled at them 
all. "Ah, I see you're all here. Now I can save that candy corn lesson for 
next year."

They all chuckled lightly. Bartlet looked at Leo, a grin upon his face. 
"And you seem to have assumed the role of puppy quite nicely, Leo."

Leo smiled insincerely at him. "Yes, sir, I have. How can I ever thank 
you for this opportunity?"

The President smiled. "Not shedding on the carpet will suffice, Leo."

They all laughed and then an uncomfortable silence fell between them. 
Josh's hesitant voice broke it. "Sir...um I...speaking on the behalf....I was 
just wondering...why are you dressed like..um-..."

The President smiled at him. "Like a fairy, Josh?"

"Yes, sir," he responded. 

The President gestured to Abbey. "That would be the doing of my lovely 
wife."

Josh and Sam exchanged knowing glances. The rest of the staff perused 
him more closely. President Bartlet was dressed in a pink silk top and a 
flower petal shaped skirt, that glittered with a silvery sheen. On his legs, 
he wore pale pink tights and slippers made of a slightly darker shade. A 
blonde curly wig sat atop his head, with a small rhinestone crown on top of 
it. In his hand, he held a long wand with a silver star at its end.

Toby struggled to maintain his composure, as he asked his question. 
"Would you mind if I asked why?...Not that I don't think you look smashing, 
sir."

Abbey responded to the question, with a smile on her lips. "It's his 
punishment. He has the power to force you all to do embarrassing things and 
I have that same power over him."

The group smiled and laughed at the First Lady's actions. Leo spoke to 
her. "I think I am speaking on behalf of all of us when I say, thank you, 
Abbey."

The rest of the staff echoed his sentiments. The President smiled 
slightly and held his hand up. "Before you all go canonizing her as a saint, 
remember who you work for."

Abbey smiled and shook her head at him. "And you remember whose bed you 
sleep in."

The President smiled, a chuckle following out of his mouth. He spoke to 
the staff. "She gets me with that one every time...I don't have a leg to 
stand on."

The staff laughed, as the President and First Lady turned on their heels 
and headed across the room. 

C.J. smiled at them and said, "Seeing the President like that makes this 
all worthwhile."

Toby grinned and commented, "Seeing the President like that makes my 
*life* worthwhile."

The others nodded in agreement, laughs emerging from their mouths.

************

Sam and Mallory were dancing on the wood floor at the center of the 
dining room, when Leo suddenly appeared at their side. 

"May I cut in?" He asked.

Sam reluctantly stepped away and began to hand Mallory over to her 
father, when Leo shook his head. "Actually, it's you, Sam, that I'd like to 
spend a little quality time with."

Sam and Mallory's eyes widened in surprise at Leo. Sam spoke, "Me?...You 
want to dance with me?"

Mallory's eyes narrowed. "Dad, if this is some strange plan of yours to 
bully Sam into another Birthday message writing-..."

Leo stopped her sentence. "Mal, it's nothing like that. Can't a father 
talk to the man his daughter's dating without it being deemed sinister?"

Mallory nodded, her tone suspicious. "Talk, yes. But dance?"

Leo shrugged and gestured to his costume. "What can I say? The President 
has opened my mind to a variety of new ideas."

Mallory slowly relented and spoke sternly to her father, "Be nice, Dad." 
She then turned around and walked away.

Sam hesitantly took Leo's hand and they stood as far away from each other 
as possible. Sam swallowed hard and asked, "This is solely for the purpose of 
you threatening me and me not being able to run away, correct?"

Leo grinned and nodded, his grip tightening on Sam's hand. "Bingo."

Sam nodded his head and spoke nervously. "Well...I don't mind admitting 
that this is a most uncomfortable situation."

"It's no walk in the park for me either, Sam...For one, you keep stepping 
on my toes," Leo responded.

Sam took yet another step back. "Well...um...what did you want to talk to 
me about?"

"I would like to ask you some questions regarding Mallory," Leo replied.

"Okay."

"Do you care about my daughter, Sam?"

"Very much." Sam said.

"Would you ever consider hurting her?"

Sam spoke cautiously. "Not intentionally."

"Wrong answer," Leo declared.

"There are wrong answers?" Sam asked, his voice cracking.

Leo grinned at him. "There are when it comes to my daughter."

"Oh," Sam uttered softly.

"Listen to me, Sam."

"Yes?"

"My daughter is the best thing in my life, the best thing to ever happen 
to me. When she's happy, I'm happy. When she's unhappy, I'm unhappy. If 
*you* make *her* unhappy, then *you* make *me* unhappy and then *I* make 
*you* unhappy...Got it?" Leo said, a grin upon his face.

Sam nodded slowly, as he lifted his hand with Leo's to wipe at his brow. 
"Yes, I think I do...Happy Mallory, good...Unhappy Mallory, bad."

"That's right," Leo said. 

Sam nodded. "Okay, okay, good...I'm glad we had this talk, Leo."

Leo smiled. "So am I, Sam."

* * * * * 

At the edge of the dance floor, sat Donna and Josh at their table. They 
were watching Sam and Leo. 

Josh smiled. "I've always been rooting for those two crazy kids to get 
together."

Donna laughed and shook her head. "What are the chances that Sam is not 
being read the riot act by Leo about Mallory right now?"

"Slim to none," Josh replied, with a smile.

A comfortable silence had fallen between them, when Josh broke it with a 
nervous question. "Um...Donna, would you maybe possibly want to consider 
dancing with me?"

Donna smiled at the awkwardness with which Josh had phrased the question. 
"I'd love, too," she replied.

Josh smiled in relief and took her hand. They walked to where Leo and 
Sam still danced. Josh grinned at Leo. "You're one lucky guy, Leo...I hear 
Sam's one helluva kisser."

Leo scowled at him. Josh smiled slightly, "You're going to make *me* talk 
to every lunatic group that wants funding from now until the New Year for 
that comment, aren't you?"

Leo smiled and nodded, before he and Sam separated and walked away in 
different directions.

Josh shrugged and turned to Donna, who was smiling at him. He stepped 
closer to her and attempted to take one hand in his and place the other on 
his shoulder. Unfortunately, Josh's bulging costume was preventing him from 
reaching Donna's hands, as he could not get any closer to her than two feet. 

Donna smiled and Josh ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment. "It 
seems I'm a little on the large side."

Donna nodded. "I see that."

"Any suggestions?"

"You could try and suck it in." Donna responded.

"Donna." Josh said, with a slight smile. "Never mind, let's just try this 
again."

Josh once again came closer to Donna and tried to take her hands in his. 
However, his efforts were only rewarded with his plush body bumping Donna's 
and sending her falling to the floor. Josh's eyes widened in horror and he 
quickly bent down to help her up the best he could. Donna smiled at him and 
then burst out laughing. Josh returned her laugh and then helped her up from 
the floor. 

"Sorry about that, I'm not myself today...I think I'm retaining water, 
it's that time of month," Josh said, his humiliation laced tone betraying 
his grin.

Donna laughed. "It's okay."

Josh suddenly shook his head at her. "No, this is not okay. I would like 
to dance with you, Donnatella, and you would like to dance with me...I'll be 
right back."

With that, Josh hurriedly left the dance floor and dining room, leaving a 
puzzled Donna all alone.

* * * * * * 

Toby stood at the punch bowl, scooping some punch into his crystal glass. 
He turned around at the sound of a child's voice. The boy was five years 
old, with blonde hair falling across his fair face and a Superman costume 
adorning his body. Toby had noticed him before, since he was the only child 
present at the party.

"Hi, Mr. Clown," the boy said with a smile.

Toby sighed and shook his head. "I am not a clown, my name is Toby."

"You look like a clown."

"I'm pretending, it's Halloween."

"Mr. Clown, can you make me some balloon animals, please?"

Toby clenched his fists, his patience already worn out from being in this 
costume for far too long. "I am not a clown! My name is Toby Ziegler and I 
am Director of Communications for the White House! I don't make balloon 
animals and I generally don't talk to children!"

"Do you have one of those small cars that twenty clowns can fit in?" The 
boy asked, unfazed.

Toby shook his head, speaking through gritted teeth. "No, I have a 
medium-size car, called a BMW, that five clowns, called politicians, can fit 
in."

"Can you juggle?"

"NO! No, I cannot juggle! Listen to me carefully, you glue-eating 
mongrel: I am NOT a real clown! I am pretending, it's Halloween! You're 
dressed like Superman, but you're not *really* Superman, right?"

"Yes, I am," the boy replied.

Toby ran a hand down his face. "Well, I am a fake clown, so you're just 
going to have to accept that, along with the fact that you'll probably need 
braces."

"My mom told me that all of the clowns at the circus are real, so you 
must be, too."

Toby shook his head, the last of his patience gone. He knelt down to the 
boy and spoke to him quickly. "Your mom lied to you. That's what parents do, 
they lie. You might as well learn this now, so you don't end up a disturbed, 
bitter teenager later. Your whole life, your mom's been lying to you. The 
Tooth Fairy? Nope, doesn't exist. Did you really think that a tiny fairy 
could lug around all of that money and still be willing to exchange it for 
teeth? Come on, if that were possible, I'd be knockin' out my own teeth 
right now. The Easter Bunny? Sorry, not real. I don't know about you, but 
I've never seen a 5 foot bunny before, never mind one carrying around a 
basket of eggs and, if I did, I'd run the other way. Then there's the 
beloved, revered Santa Claus...Hate to tell you, but there's no such thing. 
He's just a myth that fat, old guys made up to help themselves feel better 
and look good...Okay, so now you know...And trust me, you're better off for 
it...I'm not real and neither is any of this other stuff that your mom and 
society's been stuffing down your throat since you popped out of the womb."

The boy's eyes widened and Toby waited for the first tear to fall. He 
didn't want to make the kid cry, but he had just kind of exploded. Toby 
waited, but all the kid did was smile, laugh and then grab onto Toby's right 
leg.

"What are you doing?!" Toby screamed, "You should be crying right now, 
throwing a tantrum. I just shattered all of your childhood delusions in less 
than a minute!" 

The kid smiled and tightened his grip on Toby's leg by wrapping his own 
legs around it. "I know you were just pretending...You just said all of that 
stuff to make me laugh. That's what clowns do!"

Toby threw his head back and closed his eyes, a long sigh following out 
of his mouth. He muttered grumpily. "If he wasn't the President, he'd be in 
serious danger for making me go through this."

Toby bent slightly and tried desperately to pull the kid off of his leg. 
He halted his futile attempts when he heard the First Lady's voice. "Oh, 
Toby, I see you've met my niece's son. He's staying with us for a few days."

Toby attempted a smile. "Yes, Abbey, I have. We've become very close."

Abbey smiled knowingly. "Yes, I can see that. He seems to be very 
attached to you."

Toby grinned, "I can have that kind of effect on children...But I really 
think he should run along and mingle with the other guests, don't you? I 
wouldn't want to have all of the fun."

Abbey tried her best to hide her grin. "Oh, I don't know. I think he 
seems very comfortable right where he is. Don't you, Bryan?"

Bryan smiled and nodded. Abbey continued, "See? He really likes you...I'm 
sure the other guests won't mind if you two spend a little more time 
together."

Toby managed a slight smile. "Thank you, Abbey."

The First Lady nodded and then turned around to walk away. Toby looked 
down at the child and spoke sternly. "Look, you little leech, if you don't 
get off of me right now, I'm going to get the jaws of life and make you get 
off!"

The boy smiled and only tightened his hold. Just then, Sam walked by and 
grinned at Toby. He gestured to the boy. "Ah, finally playing nice with the 
other kids, huh, Toby?"

Toby rewarded Sam with what can only be described as a growl. He then 
lifted his floppy shoe and brought it down on Sam's right foot. Sam yelped 
in pain, then proceeded to jump up and down on the uninjured foot, as his 
hands attempted to rub the other one. 

Toby smiled and looked down at the little boy. "Now *that* guy is a 
clown. See how he makes us all laugh?" The boy nodded, his body still 
clinging to Toby's leg. 

* * * * * *

Sam slowly limped to the table where Mallory sat. She stood up worriedly 
and helped him sit down. "What happened to you? My Dad didn't do this, did 
he?"

Sam shook his head, as he placed his foot up on the table and began to 
rub it. He winced in pain and then spoke in a bitter tone, "No, no, Leo 
didn't do this. This was the work of a disgruntled clown's floppy foot."

Mallory bit her lip to keep from laughing. She rubbed at his back and 
then watched as he lowered his foot back onto the floor. Sam then placed his 
head down on top of the table in dramatic fashion. Mallory smiled and touched 
his arm. "I'm sorry about your foot...But what did my father say to you?"

Sam lifted his head and shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. He confused me 
with the frequent use of the word unhappy."

Mallory grinned. "I'm sorry, Sam. He does mean well."

Sam nodded and held his index finger up. "Although I will say this, your 
father is quite the dancer."

Mallory laughed, while linking her fingers with his. "Yeah, he's not 
bad...Did anything else happen between you two that I should know about?"

Sam smiled at her. "I can't be sure, but I *think* we may be engaged now."

Mallory laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, just as long 
as he knows that I'm not letting you go without a fight."

Sam grinned and tried to speak dreamily, "You might not have a choice 
there, Mal. Your father's twinkle toes, coupled with the way he makes me 
feel as light as a feather while we dance, may be enough to send me running 
right into his arms."

Mallory chuckled, while lightly swatting his arm. "Just remember, my 
father doesn't have a nurse's costume."

Sam spoke with a well-hidden smile. "True, but that puppy costume does 
hold a certain amount of appeal."

Mallory laughed again, before pulling his face to hers in a kiss.

* * * * * *

Danny sat down next to C.J. at her table. "Would you mind if I call you 
'Red' from now on?"

"Yes, I would mind, Danny."

"I'll let you call me 'Yellow'."

"No, thank you."

"How about if I only call you it during the press briefings when I ask 
you a question?"

"That's a definite no."

"Come on, C.J...It'll be my cute little nickname for you...It's catchy."

C.J. turned to face him for the first time. "No, Danny, I don't want you 
calling me Red or any other nickname for that matter."

"You know, I might just give up on you one day and then you'll be sorry."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Luckily for you, I'm a glutton for punishment."

"Oh yes, Lucky me," C.J. responded with a smile.

"Can I get one of those kisses now?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to encourage begging."

"I've been begging you for a date for how long and you just now figured 
out that kissing me spontaneously encourages begging?" Danny asked.

"I can be extremely slow." C.J. replied. 

"It's not because I ate the onion dip, is it?"

"No."

"Because I had a mint, you know."

"It's not the because of the dip, Danny."

"Okay." Danny paused and then asked. '"Is it because you want to come up 
to me and grab me by the crayon wrapper when I least expect it, like you 
usually do?"

C.J. responded dryly. "Yes, Danny, that's it...I relish the element of 
surprise."

"Okay."

"Will you go away now?"

"Yeah...You're sure it's not the dip, right."

"It's not the dip, Danny."

"Okay."

"Good-bye."

"Bye, Red."

C.J. smiled and then shook her head at what she was about to do. For 
some reason, that 'nickname', coming out of his mouth, had just sent chills 
running up and down her spine. She got up, walked over to him and then 
pressed her lips to his in a kiss. Danny eagerly returned it and then smiled 
at her as they separated.

"I too relish the element of surprise," he said.

"Good, go away now," C.J replied.

"One more for the road?" Danny asked.

"No."

"Okay."

"Good-bye, Danny."

"Good-bye, Red," Danny responded.

C.J. smiled widely, as she watched his figure walk away. 

* * * * * *

A few minutes later, Josh walked back into the room and grabbed Donna by 
the hand. Donna was surprised to see what he was wearing. She whispered to 
him. "Josh, what are you doing in here wearing only that?"

Josh smiled and shrugged. He was wearing nothing more than a tank top 
undershirt and a pair of plaid, wool boxers. "I promised you a dance."

Donna's eyes widened and she spoke through clenched teeth. "Yes, but I'd 
prefer it if you were fully clothed first, thank you...Why are you doing 
this? Aren't you afraid of being humiliated?"

Josh smiled and said softly, "I wanted to dance with you...That's the 
only thing I was thinking about."

Donna smiled, his words touching her. She slowly accepted his hand and 
allowed herself to be led onto the floor. Josh drew her closer to him, until 
her head rested on his shoulder. Donna spoke again. "I still can't believe 
that you're not embarrassed."

Josh grinned. "Oh, I am...But I was already embarrassed anyway, so I 
figured why not go all out...Plus, like you said, I lost my dignity long ago."

Donna smiled and then pulled away slightly to look up at him. "This was 
really sweet...Strange, but sweet."

Josh smiled and then said softly. "I forgot to tell you something 
earlier...You look beautiful."

Donna's breath caught in her chest slightly and then she replied, "Thank 
you...First 'glisteny' and now beautiful...What more could a girl ask for?"

Josh smiled, before slowly lowering his lips to a surprised Donna. He 
gave her a quick, yet soft kiss and then said, "How about that?"

Donna nodded, speechless from what had just happened. She then simply 
smiled and placed her head back onto his shoulder. Josh grinned gratefully 
and then tilted his face so that his cheek touched her forehead.

* * * * * * 

An hour or so later, the President was requesting the guests' attention. 
He gathered the Senior Staff close to him and began.

"As I am sure you are all aware, my staff was ordered to attend this 
party wearing these costumes. Now, I know many of you thought that was very 
selfish and arrogant of me. And you are partly right. I did do it for my 
own entertainment, but, as you can see, I've paid dearly for that."

The President glanced at his wife and smiled. He then turned back to the 
guests.

"However, I have reasons that go beyond personal amusement. I wanted to 
invite these people, these people who are like family, to a party where they 
could have fun...Where they could forget about all of the rules and standards 
that they must conform to everyday and just let loose. Of course, knowing 
them as I do, I was aware they'd need my help doing so. That's why I 
assigned the costumes. But I also assigned the costumes to each one of you 
for a specific reason." 

The President was now addressing the Senior Staff specifically. "Now, 
this is probably going to get pretty corny and sentimental in parts, so 
you've been warned."

Soft chuckles spread throughout the crowd and then quieted as the 
President continued. "Sam, I picked Robin Hood for you because of your giving 
spirit. You're always willing to help those less fortunate, no matter how 
ill-advised, and you always look for the best in everyone...Of course, I also 
wanted to see you in tights, but I digress."

The crowd erupted in laughter, as Sam smiled and nodded a silent 'thank 
you' to the President. Mallory smiled proudly at Sam and placed her hand in 
his.

The President then continued. "C.J., I picked you to be a crayon because 
I think that you have an uncanny ability to brighten every situation and 
paint it in a better light. You have a very difficult job, but you handle it 
with a creativity and radiance that always shows and makes a world of 
difference."

C.J. placed her head down, blushing at the President's comments. When 
she raised her head again, their eyes met and she gave him a grateful nod. 
She caught Danny's eyes as she left the President's. He gave her a wink and 
a grin, causing C.J's cheeks to increase in redness and helping to solidify 
her new nickname.

The President when on, "Josh, I chose you to be an apple because I know 
you don't like them...And, more importantly, because I think it represents 
you perfectly. An apple has a tough skin and you have an attitude that can 
be brash and off-putting...And that's good, we need that in this business. 
But just like with an apple, once you peel away that skin, you find something 
sweet and worth the work it took to reveal it...You're a wonderful blend of 
both, Josh, never lose that."

Josh smiled, as he took Donna's hand in his. He mouthed a silent 'thank 
you' to the President.

The President continued, "Toby, I chose you to be a clown because, quite 
frankly, I knew it would piss you off." 

The guests laughed out loud and Toby nodded with a caustic smirk. The 
President went on, "I also wanted you to know that your sense of humor, as 
pessimistic and cynical as it can be, makes me smile each and everyday...I 
hope that clown costume made you realize that your humor can get you through 
anything and that every once in a while it's okay to laugh at yourself."

Toby looked down at the child still attached to his leg and smiled. Then 
he met the President's eyes and no words needed to pass between them. 

The President's gaze now fell upon Leo and he smiled at him, speaking in 
a gentle, caring tone.

"And, Leo, I chose you to be a puppy for a reason I knew you would not 
realize...A dog is said to be a man's best friend and you are mine. They are 
loyal and comforting, and I can think of no better way to describe you...You 
have been there for me when I needed you the most, always giving me what I 
required even when I didn't know what that was. You offer me words, when I 
think I need silence and silence, when I think I need words; you know me 
better than I know myself sometimes...You are always honest with me, you 
never tell me what to do, you let me figure it out on my own. You are the 
person whose words I will always heed and whose loyalty and friendship will 
always be an honor to have."

The guests broke into a long, thunderous round of applause. 

Once they'd quieted, Leo met the President's eyes. Despite his attempts 
to stifle his emotions, his voice cracked as he spoke, "I think I speak for 
all of us, sir, when I say thank you and it will always be our honor to serve 
at the pleasure of the President."

The President nodded, as an appreciation shone in his eyes and played 
across his lips...The same could be seen in the eyes and on the lips of the 
people he considered family who surrounded him.




THE END

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