"Josh," Donna said as she entered his office.
He looked up from his work, "Yeah?"
"Did you know that-..."
Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No, I was not aware of whatever
tedious bit of trivia you have to share with me...And I don't care to know."
Donna smiled slightly, moving her hand that held an object to her side
and out of his sight. "How do you know you don't care if you don't even know
what it is?"
"Because in all the time I've known you I have never been even remotely
interested in your babblings, so I'm willing to bet that I'll keep my
disinterested streak alive."
Donna raised her eyebrows and said in a singsong tone, "Fine."
At that, Josh's brow furrowed. Donna turned on her heel to leave when
Josh's voice stopped her. She smiled before turning back around to face him.
He rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to act nonchalant. "So...what
did you want to ask me?"
Donna smiled and held up an issue of People's magazine, "Did you know
that you were named one of People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive?"
His eyes widened in shock and he sputtered, "I was?" Josh realized that
his reaction sounded like this was entirely unfathomable to him, so he
adjusted it. He shrugged, nodded and said confidently, "I was."
Donna nodded, threw the magazine down on his desk and began to ramble, "I
was just as surprised as you were. I mean, when you consider how many men
there are in this country, in this world, I never would have thought you'd
make the cut. But I guess they wanted an eclectic group of men and you
covered the 'smart guy' category."
Josh frowned and held a hand up to her, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a
damn minute. I am sexy. I am sexy in my own right...I'm not filling some
sort of quota for them. And, even if I was, there are a whole bunch of other
'smart guys' they could have picked. Yet, wisely, they chose me."
Donna rolled her eyes at his smug grin. She could almost see his ego
growing right in front of her.
Damn People magazine, she thought. Damn them for the
even-more-arrogant-than-usual-Josh that she was going to have to endure.
He smiled, "So what number was I? Three, two, one?...Hmm, which one?"
Donna allowed a wide smile to spread across her face, "Fifty."
Josh's mouth hung open. He repeated, "Fifty?" Donna nodded and Josh
continued in frustration, "How the hell could have I have been number fifty?
That means I *just* made the cut. Who the hell could they have put in front
of me?"
Donna raised her eyebrows in an 'are you serious' manner. "Josh, do you
have any idea how many sexy men there are that are constantly in the public's
eye? The amount of TV stars, movie stars and music stars? It's practically
in their job description to look sexy. You, Joshua, are lucky to even be on
the list."
He shook his head, "No way. Who was number one? Who stole my spot?"
Donna sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Mel Gibson."
"Mel Gibson?" Josh asked incredulously.
"Yeah, you know, the 'Braveheart' guy."
"I know who Mel Gibson is, Donna," Josh replied tersely.
He then shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "What's that
guy got that I don't have?"
Donna had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, "You're kidding right?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Donna shrugged and tried to respond as seriously as possible. "Josh, he
makes women swoon when they simply hear his name. They like his rugged good
looks, his charming smile, nice physique, great sense of humor."
Josh nodded, "I'm waiting for you to name something that he has that I
don't."
Donna sighed, "He's a rich and famous movie star."
Josh shook his head, "I've got him beat. I'm a comfortably living,
extremely powerful politician."
"Yes, and that earned you the respectable slot of number fifty."
Josh shook his head again, "Donna, Mel Gibson says lines like 'They may
take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom", while I fight for that
freedom...I should be number one."
Donna groaned, as she grew tired of trying to stroke his ego. She said
tersely and quickly, "Look, Josh, you've got unruly hair, wrinkled clothes, a
body that hasn't seen the inside of a gym in two years, and a face that shows
that you haven't slept more than four hours a night since
preschool...Consider yourself lucky."
Josh seemed taken aback by her bluntness. He looked down and fingered
the pages of the magazine. He said softly, in a voice cracking with emotion,
"I...I didn't know you felt that way."
Donna's shoulders sagged, as she realized she'd hurt his feelings. She
took a step forward, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things. It just
came-..."
Josh lifted his head and grinned. Then he raised his arms up in the air
and said, "And I can act, too!...Take that Mel Gibson!"
Donna's eye widened, as she realized he was pretending. She took a step
forward and slapped his arm. "That's a horrible thing to do, Joshua! I felt
bad."
Josh shrugged and sank back down into his chair. He leaned back, placed
his linked hands behind his head, and propped his feet up on the desk. "Why
don't you go get one of the Sexiest Men Alive a cup of coffee."
Donna snorted, "The day you make it to number one is the day I bring you
coffee."
Josh was about to respond, when Sam stormed into his office. He held the
magazine up, "Have you seen this?"
Josh nodded with a cocky grin, "I sure have, buddy."
Sam began to flip wildly through the magazine, "I'm not in it! How the
hell did you get on the list and I didn't?"
Josh leaned forward, his brow creasing. He gestured to Sam and Donna,
"Okay, you two are seriously threatening to ruin my moment in the sun."
Sam, however, paid him no attention and began to ramble, "I mean, I'm not
one to brag, but I think I'm a good looking guy. I have sparkling blue eyes,
sharply defined facial features, a toned physique and a smile to die for. I
am also a considerably powerful, intelligent man."
Josh smiled, "They were going to pick you, but they realized that women
don't find men who ramble to be sexy."
Sam's face fell, "Well, I've never found that to be true."
Josh waved his hands at them in a 'shooing' motion, "Please, leave me
alone...I need my beauty rest."
Donna moaned softly and responded, "Five minutes ago, you were whining
about being number fifty...Now, you're a male diva."
Josh grinned, "That's was before I realized that Sam, Toby and Leo didn't
make the list. I'm a very content man now."
Sam shook his head, "I still don't understand how this oversight could
have happened."
Josh shrugged, "Face it, Sam, women love me. I do have a fan club."
"I have a fan club, too," Sam said softly.
Josh laughed, "One fifteen year old girl following you around the
supermarket saying she loves the 'poetry' you write for the President, does
not constitute a fan club, Sam."
Sam blushed and responded weakly, "Hey, she's the president and founder
of the fan club and she assures me that she is working tirelessly to recruit
members."
"Maybe if she stopped hanging out at the supermarket waiting for you,
she'd have a better chance."
"It's called taking an active interest, Josh."
"It's called stalking, Sam," Josh said with a grin.
Sam groaned and collapsed into a chair across from Josh. Josh shook his
head, "How did you misunderstand 'please leave me alone' to mean 'please sit
down and further disturb me'?"
Sam ignored him and neither noticed as Donna slipped out. Sam began to
flip through the pages and finally came to the one that he was looking for.
He read it aloud, "Number fifty: White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua
Lyman." He paused and then continued, "While his unruly hair and lack of
fashion sense may make him an unlikely choice for one of the Sexiest Men
Alive, White House Deputy-..."
"Lack of fashion sense?" Josh interrupted.
Sam smiled at him, "You bought all of your ties from a street vendor
named Buddha on your first business trip to New York, Josh. What did you
expect?"
Josh shrugged and smiled, "Points for originality." Sam shook his head,
as Josh continued, "I am not an unlikely choice."
Sam nodded, "You're right." Josh offered him a pleased smiled, but Sam
continued, "You're a shockingly unlikely choice."
Josh grimaced at him, "Leave and take your jealous with you, Sam."
Sam ignored him and began reading again, "...White House Deputy Chief of
Staff, Joshua Lyman's charming self-confidence and refreshing wit make young
women swoon."
Sam rolled his eyes, as Josh slammed his hands down on the desk and stood
up. "There it is! I make young women swoon! Donna said Mel makes women
swoon, well so do I!"
"You make me nauseous, if that means anything to you," Sam muttered.
"You're envious, I understand. I make young women swoon, I'd be jealous
of me too."
"You make hormonal teen girls, who like guys with brains bigger than the
Backstreet Boys and who are obviously unbalanced, swoon. It's not that great
of an accomplishment."
Josh snarled at Sam, snatched the magazine from his hands and walked out
of the office. He found Donna walking down the hall and quickly caught up to
her.
He shoved the magazine into her line of vision and pointed at the text.
"Its says I make women swoon. Mel makes women swoon, I make women swoon.
It's obviously his Hollywood connections that got him the number one spot."
Donna groaned, "One more word about this, Josh, and you're going to
become one of the Sexiest Men No Longer Alive."
Josh smiled, "If it's any comfort, I owe much of this honor to you.
Since you lighten my work load considerably, I am able to take time to hone
my sexy qualities."
Donna rolled her eyes, "F.Y.I, Josh, women don't find conceited men to be
sexy."
Josh grinned and waved the magazine at her, "Oh, I beg to differ."
* * * *
Danny's hand flew up and CJ nodded her head in his direction, "Danny."
"How is Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman, reacting to the news that he
has been named one of People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive?"
CJ brought a hand to her forehead and sighed, "The President just
unveiled a billion dollar plan to improve health care and you're wondering
how one of the staff feels about being popular?"
Danny smiled, "Yes."
"You've got a high class of readers there, don't ya, Danny?"
He nodded with a grin, "They have uncommonly high standards."
CJ sighed, "I'm sure Mr. Lyman is very pleased with this recognition, as
are we all." She paused and then added with a smile, "I, for one, feel
honored to even be in his presence and will now walk ten paces behind him."
The press corps laughed, as CJ picked up her notepad. "Thank you and I'll
see you at tomorrow's briefing. Have a good day."
CJ pulled her glasses off as she left the podium and was immediately
approached by Josh.
He grinned at her and CJ rubbed at her temples with one hand. "I'm
warning you, Josh, I have no interest in hearing about how sexy you are right
now."
He shrugged, "I had no intention of bringing that up." He paused and
then added, "I was just thinking we should practice that ten paces behind
thing cause it could be tricky."
CJ shook her head and slapped him gently upside the head.
"Ow!" he said and began to rub at the back of his head. "What was that
for?"
CJ smiled and stopped walking long enough to face him, "That was for
acting like a pompous jerk. Hopefully that blow to the head will decreases
the size of it."
He shook his head, "I don't understand. Everyone's always said I'm a
pompous jerk, but I never got hit for it until today...This makes number two,
for those of us keeping count."
CJ smiled, "That was before magazines starting hailing you as sexy.
Before, your arrogance was strangely charming and irritating...Now it's just
irritating."
Josh smiled, "I don't care. I make women swoon."
"I could still kick your ass with my hands tied behind my back though."
"Oh, that hasn't changed. I just care less, because I make women swoon."
"Go away now," CJ said.
"Okay," Josh replied and turned down the next hall.
* * * *
Donna came to Josh's side, as he walked towards his office. "The
president of your fan club called."
"Really?" Josh said with a a large smile.
"Yes, really."
"I wasn't aware that there was an actual president of my fan club."
Donna smiled, "Well, someone has to put the newsletter together."
"So what did she sound like?"
"Like a female."
"What kind of female?"
"One with a lot of time on her hands and a warped mind."
"I meant what does her voice sound like."
"It sounds like a twelve year old girl's voice, Josh," Donna said with a
smirk.
"Jealousy thy name is Donna," Josh replied.
Donna snorted, "I am not jealous of your teenybopper groupies, Joshua."
Josh placed his arm around her shoulders and said, "Don't worry, you'll
always be the girl who takes my calls, types my memos, arranges my schedule
and refuses to bring me coffee."
Donna groaned and shrugged his arm off of her, "If God hates me, then,
yes, I will."
"So what did the president want?"
"President Bartlet didn't want anything."
"The president of my fan club, Donna." He paused and then asked, "What's
her name anyway?"
Donna shrugged, "I don't know. Brittany, Tiffany, something that sounds
peppy."
"Donna!" he scolded. "It would have killed you to write her name down?"
"I did," she handed him a piece of paper with her notoriously bad
handwriting on it.
Josh squinted his eyes as he studied it. "Okay, her name is either Condom
Holesworth or Contraception Hollywart." He smiled and looked at her, "Either
way, one has to wonder what her parents were thinking."
Donna chuckled and looked at the paper, "Candace Hollandsworth...That's
her name."
Josh's eyes widened, "That's what that says? You know, Donna, you should
really consider hiring a personal translator."
Josh jammed the paper into his pocket. "So what did she want?"
Donna sighed, "She said that your fan club is honoring you at a luncheon
tomorrow because of your recent recognition."
"Really," Josh said cockily. "A luncheon...just for me."
"Actually, they were going to honor the other forty-nine men, but I told
them that they'd have enough trouble fitting even your ego into the room."
Josh smiled and ignored Donna's jab. "I wonder what I should wear."
"Considering the magazine says you lack fashion sense, I'm thinking it
won't matter."
"True, they love me for...well...me."
"I think I'm going to be sick," Donna muttered.
"Did you have the meatloaf in the cafeteria for lunch?" Josh asked.
Donna groaned and walked away from him. He called after her, "Or was it
the tuna salad...Never have the tuna salad."
* * * *
The next day, Josh stood in front of the interior mirror of the closet in
his office. He was holding different ties up to his chest.
"Not that one," Donna said, as she stepped into his office and placed a
file on his desk.
"What's wrong with this one?"
"The fact that it's purple isn't enough?"
Josh shrugged and put the tie back. He pulled out another one. Donna
sighed and walked to his side. "You're hopeless. You're wearing a charcoal
suit with a white shirt. How is it possible that you think an orange tie
will look good with that?"
"Have I mentioned that I'm color blind?" Josh asked with a smile.
"That would certainly explain a lot," she replied.
Donna looked in the closet and dug around a bit. She finally found a
black and gray striped tie she liked. She pulled it out and placed it around
his neck.
Josh frowned, as he looked down at the tie, "You don't think that's a
bit...I don't know...blah."
"It's just right."
"I think it's make me look blah."
"And how exactly did you think the purple and orange ties made you look?"
Donna paused and added, "Like a pimp maybe?"
Josh grinned, "Well, name one pimp that's ever been described as blah
looking."
"I can't even name *a* pimp, Josh," Donna replied with a smile and began
to tie his neckwear.
When she was finished, she adjusted his tie once more and looked into his
eyes. She smiled and said softly, "You look good."
Josh found himself being pulled in by her gaze for a moment. He quickly
averted his eyes and swallowed hard. "Thanks."
Donna stepped back and looked at her watch, "You've got to go...You're
going to be late."
Josh grabbed his jacket and then turned to Donna, "I'm...well...I'm a
little nervous."
Donna's eyes widened at him, "In all the time I've known you, I've never
seen you nervous before, Josh. You've done huge things, this is nothing.
This is in front of a bunch of teenage girls."
"Yes, who happen to idolize me."
"I think idolize is a tad strong."
Josh chuckled and then asked reluctantly, "Will you come with me?"
Donna raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Come with you?"
"Yeah...I don't know...It would just be nice to see a friendly face in
the crowd when I'm up there giving my little speech thing. Plus, who am I
going to talk to the whole time? I don't read 'Seventeen', so I'm thinking
that I may be at a loss for conversation topics with them."
Donna studied him thoughtfully for a moment. She had never really seen
him like this before. It seemed like, suddenly, the overly confident Josh
was doubting his ability to charm a crowd.
Strangely, it was this vulnerability that seemed truly sexy to her.
She nodded, "Sure, I'll go."
He smiled, "Good, come on."
* * * *
Josh and Donna entered the small room at the hotel where the luncheon was
being held. As soon as Josh crossed the threshold, he was met with a
thunderous applause. A few girls let out shrieks as he walked by them.
Donna perused them with a strange expression, as Josh simply grinned from
ear to ear.
There were more than fifty fan club members stuffed into the close
quarters. Josh and Donna took their seats at the head table. They were
introduced to the president, vice president, treasurer and gossip contributor
to the newsletter.
Josh walked off to talk to some of his fans and left Donna alone. The
gossip columnist turned to Donna and smiled. "So, is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"Is Mr. Lyman dating his assistant?"
Donna's eyes widened and she was about to respond when the girl
continued, "Because I heard she's a control freak...That she controls all
aspects of his life. I heard she won't let him drink alcohol."
Donna's brow wrinkled in dismay, "She's actually a very lovely,
considerate woman. He has a sensitive system and-..."
"I heard that she spouts useless facts and is always bugging him."
"Now wait just a minute, I-..."
"And I've seen only fuzzy pictures of her, but there is no way she's a
natural blonde. What could he possibly see in her?"
Donna clenched her fists together and was unable to control her anger.
"You listen to me, you gossiping little hussy, I take good care of that man.
He can't drink or he'll end up with panties around his neck. He pretends to
hate my useless facts, but secretly enjoys them...And I am a one hundred
percent natural blonde!"
The girl was taken aback by Donna's outburst. She replied hesitantly,
"So, you're Mr. Lyman's assistant?"
Donna smiled calmly and asked, "Did I say that?"
The girl smiled nervously, "So...*are* you two dating?"
Donna grinned and leaned towards the girl. Then she whispered, "Wouldn't
you like to know."
* * * *
"So, I'm trying like crazy to make them understand that I just made up
the secret plan to fight inflation, but they just won't listen!" The group
of girls Josh was speaking to laughed at him.
He grinned at them, immensely enjoying the attention he was receiving.
He was just about to launch into another story, when he noticed that Donna
was sitting by herself at their table and looking very lonely.
He excused himself and walked over to her. "You don't look like you're
having fun."
She smiled weakly, "Being in a room filled with women who adore you isn't
my idea of fun."
Josh grinned, "See, now that's where we're different."
Donna offered him a polite smile, before she looked down and began to
push the food around her plate.
Josh's smile faded, as he realized that the only woman who truly mattered
to him in the whole room was the one who was very unhappy at the moment.
He was about to speak, when he heard the fan club's president begin to
talk from the podium.
"We are all here for one reason: To honor the man who was just named one
of People's Sexiest Men Alive. White House Deputy Chief of Staff is admired
by us for his rugged good looks, charming personality, incredible wit and
amazing intelligence. These are the things that make him sexy and we are
very proud that he is being recognized by a wider audience. Now, without
further ado, Joshua Lyman!"
The crowd cheered and Josh looked back at Donna for a moment, before
taking his place at the podium.
He smiled and then began, "Thank you all for coming. This is truly
overwhelming." He paused a moment and then continued seriously, "I lied awake
in bed for a long time last night trying to think of something funny to tell
you all, a humorous anecdote that I thought you might enjoy. But, for the
life of me, I couldn't come up with anything. And then I realized why: this
isn't the forum for that. Sure, I could amuse you all with my many mishaps,
but to do so would be missing a marvelous opportunity. I have as a captive
audience a group of young women, our country's future. This chance doesn't
come around often.
"So, I'd like to use this opportunity to say something truly worthwhile.
One simple phrase actually: Always be considerate of other's feelings. I
know that may sound simplistic and childish, but it's a good rule of thumb.
As you go through life, you will be faced with disappointments and successes.
They both will cause you to react in a certain way towards the people in
your life. If you remember this one rule, then you won't make the mistake I
did yesterday. I walked around the West Wing yesterday acting like a total
arrogant, superior ass. I probably made a lot of people feel pretty bad
about themselves."
He paused and turned to meet Donna's gaze, "And today I ignored the
feelings of someone I really care about." He stopped for a moment and then
continued, "Follow this rule and you will enjoy your successes much more
because they will be shared with people who truly care about you...An honor
is hollow if you haven't anyone to share it with.
"So, maybe this isn't the sexiest thing to be saying, but it's worth
reminding you of. You'll be able to do many great things if you have people
there to support you...I know I have."
He stopped and then added with a grin, "Who knows? Maybe one of you will
even be named to People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive someday." The room, composed
entirely of women, dissolved into laughter, followed by a rousing round of
applause.
Donna hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him the entire time.
This was why she loved him, although she still hadn't entirely admitted
that fact to herself.
She loved him for the incredibly caring and sensitive man he could be.
And she didn't find him sexy because of his swagger or his cocky grin.
It was deeper than that...It was more...It was because of the man he is
inside.
Donna was thrown from her thoughts when Josh appeared in front of her. He
smiled and extended his hand to her, "What do you say we get out of here?"
Donna returned his smile. "Sure. Can you get my coat from the coat
check, please?"
Josh nodded and turned around.
Donna stood up and was about to leave, when the gossip girl addressed
her, "So, what's he really like?"
Donna smiled to herself and then said softly, "Wouldn't you like to know."
With that, Donna left the table.
She allowed her smile to spread to her lips as she realized that these
girls could worship Josh until they were blue in the face, but they would
never truly know him.
They would never know him the way she knows him. They would never know
the subtle aspects of his personality that only she noticed...that only she
loved.
They would never know why he rated number one on her Sexiest Men Alive
list.
* * * *
Donna slipped into the coat that Josh held out for her. "Thanks."
He nodded and allowed his hands to linger on her arms a tad longer than
necessary. "I'm sorry I kind of ignored you in there. I just got caught up
in talking to all of my fans."
Donna nodded, "It's okay. I'm sure they appreciated the attention you
gave them."
Josh nodded and then looked down, "I'm also sorry that I was such a jerk
yesterday. I did let the recognition go to my head."
"I understand."
"Donna," Josh began softly, as he stared at his feet. "I...well...I just
wanted you to know that there's only one woman I hope never stops being a
member of my fan club."
Donna smiled and returned in a voice just as soft, "Don't worry, Josh,
I'll always be your number one fan."
Josh smiled and placed his arm around her waist as they walked out.
He turned to her with a grin, "You know, getting coffee seems like
something a number one fan would do."
Donna smiled, "Nah, why don't we leave that to your president. In a few
more years, she'll be able to drive to Starbucks all by herself and bring you
a cup everyday."
Josh laughed and shook his head at her.
Little did she know, her number one fan had his arm wrapped around her
waist.
And there wasn't a doubt in his mind who ranked number one on his Sexiest
Women Alive list.
THE END