Guess Who's On The Next Survivor
Credit: The Oregonian
OK, "Survivor" fans, are you sitting down?
Really, this is huge. You're not going to believe this. What I'm about to tell you is so fantastic, it's going to make you cry. Or scream. So put down that cup of coffee. Loosen all tight-fitting clothing and remove sharp items from your pockets. Now, take a deep breath.
Ready? OK, three, two, one. . . .
One of Us is going to be One of Them.
A Portlander on "Survivor."
It's happening.
And the name of our survivor, the person the whole country will be talking about, arguing about, obsessing over, maybe even falling in love with, starting on Oct. 11, is. . . .
Oh, wait.
I can't tell you.
See, when it comes to "Survivor," CBS insists on total secrecy. The identity of the cast members; the location of the set; and of course the way the game unfolds; none of this can be spoken of until the precise moment CBS decides to unleash the information.
On one level, the secrecy preserves the integrity of the game at the show's core. It also protects the show's many surprises -- the winners of challenges, the deals and double-crosses, all of the shifting tides created by the gravitational pull of that orbiting $1 million pie-in-the-sky.
All of this must be shielded from the prying eyes of journalists and computer-wielding spoilers like Dan Bollinger, an online smartypants who recently told the survivornews.com Web site that he had located the headquarters of the new "Survivor" set in Africa. The action, he reports, is taking place alongside a river in a game reserve in Kenya. "Secrecy at this location parallels Area 51," Bollinger said, referring to the U.S. government's notorious secret encampment in the desert of Nevada.
Could this be true? Good luck trying to find out. Confront CBS spokespeople on "Survivor" questions, and they respond like prisoners of war reciting their names, ranks and serial numbers.
"We don't confirm or deny anything," they say, before parroting this next clause with amazingly similar smirks in their voices: "And we allow people to print misleading information."
They're not kidding about that last part. Last winter "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett told TV critics in Pasadena for the press tour that he had eagerly planted false information about the first series on Internet Web sites. The game, he said with a grin, "is good fun."
But Burnett and company are definitely not playing around when it comes to keeping their own people quiet.
Anyone involved with "Survivor" -- contestants, crew members and even (apparently) the family members of all of the above -- must sign iron-clad nondisclosure agreements promising that they will never, ever leak inside information about the show. These documents are not to be taken lightly.
Just ask Stacey Stillman, contestant on the first "Survivor," who launched a (silly) $5 million lawsuit against producer Burnett last February for allegedly pressuring other contestants to eject her. To reward her for her insolence, Burnett quickly shot back with a $5 million countersuit, claiming that Stillman had violated her nondisclosure agreement.
A judge ruled in June that Stillman can't be sued for assertions made after the show aired, but allowed the Survivor Entertainment Group's defamation lawsuit against Stillman to continue.
All of this explains the taut expressions on the faces of the Portlanders-in-the-know I've been talking to this week. On the record they will neither confirm nor deny, nor even speak of the subject. And off the record it doesn't get much better.
But after speaking to more than a dozen sources, some of them extraordinarily well-placed, I feel I can confidently state the following:
The cast of "Survivor 3" will include a Portland woman in her late 20s. A talented athlete whose name first popped up in The Oregonian in a 1990 article about high school track and field. Our gal also earned mentions for her contributions to the soccer team and the cross country squad. These days she works out on a mountain bike and in the gym, where she is known to spend what you might call quantity time.
Friends are quick to say that she has all the personal gusto we have come to love and admire in our "Survivor" friends.
"She speaks her opinions directly," one former colleague said. "And I think she has a flair for performance."
This would explain reports that her audition videotape included footage of a spirited romp she took with her dogs around Washington Park, in which she was apparently -- and there's no way to put this gently -- nude.
