A Night in Hays City by Red-Eye Sequel to "Danger on the Overland Trail"

The Wells Fargo stage thundered through the streets of Hays City, coming to a stop in front of its offices.

“Hays City folks,” the driver called.  “Get what rest you can.  Those not staying, we leave at eight tomorrow morning.”

The driver was not your typical driver.  Firstly, he was a woman and barely one at that.  Clad in durable buckskin, her rough masculine features could almost have convinced anyone she was a man if not for her hefty feminine figure.  Underneath a Union army cap she’d lifted from a dead outlaw, long stringy black hair trailed down her back in a tightly tied braid.  She had been born Martha Jane Canary, but she preferred to be called Calamity for a variety of reasons.  The only person who got away with calling her Martha was her partner, shotgun Horace Wellman, better known to his friends and family as Kid.

Kid was a handsome man with cloudy blue eyes and sandy brown hair. Equally clad in buckskin travelling clothes, he also had a couple of days beard growth on his face and his hair was a tad longer than he liked it.  He looked every inch the frontiersman people imagined.  And he didn’t consider Calamity a friend.

Kid swung down from his seat and held the door open for the lady passengers.  He smiled politely and got a few genuine flirtatious smiles in return.  He speculated that if he wasn’t already happily married he might consider offering to let one of these ladies help him shave.

Meeting Kid on the boardwalk, Calamity threw her arms around him and kissed him full on the lips.  Kid pushed her away.  “Damn it Canary,” Kid shouted, trying to spit out the taste of tobacco Calamity had planted in his mouth.  “I told you to quite doing that!”

Calamity didn’t seem to be listening.  Instead she tugged at his sleeve and said eagerly, “C’mon Horace, let’s get something to drink.”

At first Kid resisted.  He didn’t want to get a drink.  Hell, he didn’t even want to be in Hays City.  He wanted to be back in Sweet Water with his wife and family looking after his horses.  Louise was now eight months pregnant.  She was in no condition to look after a ranch on her own.  Billy Jack wasn’t even ten yet.  Their daughter, Charlotte, was staying with Theresa to ease the responsibility on Lou until Kid’s job with Wells Fargo was finished.  He had originally signed up for only one run that should have lasted no more than a week.  And here he was, almost a month later, still working for the Wells Fargo Company.  Only this time he wasn’t getting paid.  He was working off a debt.  It wasn’t his fault the coach had been blown to pieces.  But as Hopper was dead they couldn’t squeeze the money out of him, so Kid got stuck with the responsibility.

Kid eventually relented and allowed Calamity to pull him in the direction of the nearest saloon.  Letting her loose in a town as infamous as Hays City would result in trouble.  Trouble she no doubt would start and Kid didn’t want to get involved with anything that might delay tomorrow’s departure.

Entering Paddy Welch’s Place, Kid came face to face with someone he thought he would never see again.

“Jimmy?”

“Kid?”

The two stared at each other with equal astonishment.  Standing there in his smart fashionable smoking jacket, wide-brimmed hat with pants tucked inside his boots and pearl-handled colts strapped to his waist, he looked every inch the formidable gunfighter, Wild Bill, the dime novels painted him up to be.  Kid suddenly realized how dirty and unkept he must look after days on the trail without bathing or shaving.

A few more seconds of silence followed until Jimmy decided to speak up.  “So what brings you to Hays City?”

“I, uh, drive for Wells Fargo.”

“Really.”  That did surprise him.  Jimmy took Kid’s arm.  “Come on inside.  You can tell me all about over a drink.”

Calamity, a little but out at being left out of the conversation, pulled at Kid’s sleeve to get his attention.

Kid shook her off and hissed, “Not now.”

Calamity seethed at being ignored but swallowed her anger.  She wanted to know just how her mild-mannered partner knew Wild Bill Hickok, and she wasn’t going to learn that by having a tantrum.

The trio maneuvered their way through the saloon to the bar.  The room was cramped with drifters, cowboys, but mostly soldiers from the nearby Fort Hays.  Kid looked around nervously; hoping none of the soldiers recognized him.  The war had been over for three years, but the bitterness was still very fresh and no doubt there were a couple of blue coats who would love to start their own private war against one ex-Johnny Reb (no matter how small).

When they reached the bar, Jimmy took a seat and ordered a drink for both of them.  “So what’s this you working for the stage company?  I thought you and Lou had a ranch going.”

“We do,” Kid stated as the bartender delivered his drink.

He quickly filled Jimmy in on his financial situation and the circumstances leading to his extended job with Wells Fargo.  A loud cough reminded him he still hadn’t introduced Calamity.  “And this is Martha Jane-”

“Calamity,” she cut in, sticking out her palm to shake his hand.

Before Jimmy could reply, a mocking voice cut through the crowd.  “Well, well, well.  If it ain’t Wild Bill Hickok.  Don’t shoot me, Wild Bill.  Please don’t shoot me.”

Kid looked up and saw a pretty-boy soldier flanked by two other troopers.  “What’s his problem?”

“That’s George Custer’s baby brother,” Jimmy replied dismissively.  “He’s probably still upset that I tossed him in the klink a coupla days ago for disturbing the peace.”

Tom Custer fumed at the ever-present comparison to his older brother, but Jeremiah Lonegran, the trooper on his left, spoke up first.  “The captain was just blowing off some steam.”

Kid looked at Jimmy in surprise.  “You arrested General Custer’s brother!”

Jimmy snorted derisively.  “It’s not as important as it sounds.  Where George is a war hero, this spoiled little pissant isn’t good enough to lick the bottom of his brother’s boots.”

While Jimmy had been talking, John Kile, the soldier on Tom’s right, a ferret-faced man with a waxed mustache and thick glasses, walked slowly toward them.  He scrutinized Kid’s face, trying to remember where he had seen it before.

“I know you.”

Kid tensed.  This could only lead to trouble.  “Good for you.”

“I don’t believe,” Kile sneered.  “The famous Wild Bill having a drink with a Johnny Reb.”

“War’s over,” Kid said tensely.  “You made your point, Billy Yank.”
But by then Custer had spoken up.  “Figured you’d have had your fill of rebs during the war, Hickok.”

“Sit down, Tommy,” Jimmy said in a dangerously low voice.  “Before I toss you back in my jail with your buddies.”

“Arrest me,” Custer scoffed.  “What for?”

“Harassment for one thing.”

Custer snorted.  “Never thought I’d see Wild Bill Hickok stick up for reb.  Then again, from what I hear you weren’t just pumping the southern for information.”

That got a reaction out of Jimmy.  Kid could tell that Jimmy temper had just boiled over.  He was amazed that Jimmy had not shot any of the obnoxious soldiers yet.  Instead, Jimmy put his drink down, placed his hands flat on the bar and pushed himself away from the counter.  Jimmy slowly got to his feet, then with a blinding burst of speed, swung around and slammed a tightly balled fist into Custer’s face.  The obnoxious upstart flew backwards and crashed through a table.

Somebody yelled, “Bar fight!” and all hell broke loose.  Fists, feet, bottles, chairs, tables and bodies were flying everywhere.  Bouncers tried to subdue the combatants, but only ended up getting lost in the chaos.

Jimmy disappeared under half a dozen blue bodies.

Before Kid could help, one soldier pinned his arms behind his back, leaving him wide open to be worked over by one of his own friends.  Kid was hammered twice in his stomach, then heard Calamity let loose one of her ear splitting shriek of joy and leapt on the soldier holding Kid’s back.  She dug her fingers deep into the soldier’s eyes, causing him to bellow in pain.  He released Kid to try and get this hellcat off of him, leaving Kid free to defend himself.

Kid blocked a punch and delivered one of his own into his opponent’s stomach.  As the air whooshed out of the trooper, Kid slugged him across the jaw.  Out of the corner of his eye, Kid saw another soldier rushing him.  Kid ducked and backflipped him over the counter.  When he turned his attention back to Jimmy, Kid saw that the county sheriff had things under control.

While Kid was being double-teamed, Jimmy had managed to kick and punch most of the soldiers of him.  Jeremiah Lonegran tried to keep Jimmy’s arms away from his body and his pistols.  John Kile, meanwhile, tried to pull out a pistol from his blouse only to receive a kicked in the knee.  While Kile stumbled back, Jimmy tried to ramming Lonegran against the bar to get him to loosen his grip, but he stubbornly refused to loosen his grip.

Seeing Jimmy was in no serious danger, Kid sat back down on his and took a sip of his drink.  Making a face at the foul tasting liquid, he asked the bartender, “What is this?”

Welsh, who had the soldier Kid flipped over the bar pinned face first to the counter, kept his left arm jabbed across the trooper’s neck and took a sip from Kid’s glass.  Swishing the liquid around his mouth, Paddy then swallowed and said, “That would be Jack Daniel’s 69.”

“Oh,” Kid replied and took back the drink.

Paddy bounced the soldier’s head off the counter then tossed him back onto the floor.

Jimmy continued grappling with Lonegran on the floor, each desperately trying to get an advantage.

“Do you need any help,” Kid asked.

“Nope,” Jimmy gasped.  “I got ’im right where I want ’im.”

“Somebody get this bitch offa me!”

Kid looked up to see Calamity still on the soldier’s back, only now there was another soldier trying to pull her off by her pony tail.  Kid groaned.  He knew if he let Calamity in a saloon, he would be bailing her out of a fight.  Every town they stopped it, she looked for a saloon, got drunk and picked a fight with the biggest man she could find.  Okay technically she had not started this particular fight but she wasn’t doing much to stop it.

“I knew it,” Kid grumbled.  “I just knew it.”

Angrily getting to his feet, Kid stalked to where Calamity was, avoiding blows and combatants.  Along the way, he scooped up and chair and smashed it across the soldier’s back.  With a grunt, the trooper released Calamity’s hair and dropped to the floor, only to be picked up by a pair of cowboys and hurled across the room.  Kid paid them no attention, but instead focused on his one true headache.

“Martha Jane Canary,” Kid scolded in his best angry father’s voice.  “Get off that soldier this instant!”

(Believe it or not, Kid had said this phrase on more than one occasion, but not always in this particular circumstance.)

Calamity plucked up a bottle from a nearby table, took a long swig, then smashed it down on the soldier’s head.  She placed her feet on the floor when he slid to his knees, then pushed him face first to the floor.  When she finally turned to Kid she had a big, wide, insane grin stretched across her face.  Looking like a puppy hoping for praise from its master, but Kid was far from please.
“I knew it!”  Kid bellowed above the ruckus.  “I just knew it.  Let you in a bar-”

“I didn’t start this one,” she yelled defensively.

“Which is a first,” Kid said sarcastically.  “But yer not doing a whole lot to stop it.”

But Calamity had already stopped paying attention.  Before Kid had finished, Calamity jumped on top of a pile on.  Kid just sighed.  He would have a measure of satisfaction tomorrow morning when a battered, bruised and quite hung over Calamity Jane showed up for work.

A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.  He saw Kile again coming at Jimmy whipping his Remington out from his blouse.  Kid immediately drew his own pistol and aimed for Kile’s hand.  But at that precise moment an pair of wrestling soldiers got in his line of fire.  Kid tried to get closer but couldn’t work his way fast enough through the crowd.  He couldn’t do anything but watch helplessly as John Kile jammed the muzzle into Jimmy’s ear and pull the trigger.  

The gun misfires.  This gave Jimmy a chance to unholster one pistol and fired off a round, hitting Kile in the wrist.  Another round hit Kile in the side.  The bushwhacking soldier rolled away in agony.

Lonegran desperately tries to keep Jimmy’s pistol barrel out of range, but is not successful.  Pushing against the much larger man, Jimmy fought with all his might until the pistol is turned far enough and shoots Lonegran in the kneecap.  Screaming, Lonegran released his grip and joined the disabled list.

Kid saw two more soldiers draw their pistols.  Acting quickly, Kid shot the pistols out of their hands.  Howling in pain, they clutched their burning hands and fell back.

Meanwhile, Jimmy wasted no time in scrambling to his feet and darting toward Kid.  Grabbing his arm, he hollered, “C’mon lets get outta here.”  Fighting patrons and friends of Tom Custer blocked the door.  So Jimmy picked the nearest alternative – the window.

“You ain’t serious,” Kid exclaimed.

“You gotta better idea,” Hickok countered.

Not having one, Kid jumped through the window with Jimmy, taking the glass with them.  The sound of shattering glass echoed around his ears as shards of glass pelted his back like hail.  Kid landed heavily on the sidewalk, knocking the wind out of him.  Groaning, Kid pushed himself up onto his hands and knees then painfully got to his feet.

Jimmy got up quicker and Tugged Kid’s sleeve, urging him to follow.  Moving to follow, he suddenly remembered Martha Jane.  Calling out to her he said urgently, “Come on.  We’re leaving.”  Then dashed after Jimmy.

Calamity gave the soldiers she’d been fighting one last thump than ran to the window.  Halfway out the window, she turned backed to the brawl with a look of satisfaction.  Most of the participants were now on the floor unconscious or bleed.

“That’s right,” she gloated.  “Lie there and lick you wounds you lousy blue bellies.  And don’t forget that it was Cal – urk.”

A hand reached back in through the window, grabbed her by her shirt collar and yanked her outside.  A familiar, angry voice growled, “Come on!”

Dragging Calamity along behind him, Kid looked over his shoulder to see a group of soldiers come flying out of the saloon.  But when they started swinging at each other instead of coming after them, Kid relaxed.  Another block later, Kid released Calamity and sat down next to Jimmy on a bench in front of the sheriff’s office.

“Lovely town you got here, Hickok,” Kid gulped, trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah,” Jimmy responded, breathing equally as heavy.  “You should come by more often.  Bring Lou and the kids.  Make it a regular family outing.”

Joking aside, Jimmy said seriously, “It was good fighting next to you again, Kid.  Just like old times.”

“Likewise,” Kid said sincerely.  But he couldn’t do this on a regular basis.  His adventuring days were over.  He had more important things to think about now.  He had responsibility to Louise and their children to come home in one piece.  “Well we’d best be getting some shut eye.  Stage pulls out at eight and we have to be up at seven.”

“Aww,” Calamity whined.  “You can’t expect me to just go to sleep after all that!  The night’s still young.  We could go to another saloon-”

“No,” Kid said sternly.  “Letting you loose in a saloon, is like letting a wolf loose on a flock of sheep.  We are going back to the boarding house to get some sleep.  That last thing I need is my shotgun drunk of hung over.  Again.”

“I’m not going,” she announced petulantly, stomping her foot.  “And you can’t make me.”

“Wanna bet.”  Kid moved toward her purposely.

Jimmy had been watching the exchange with much interest and amusement, but decided it was time to intervene.  He stood up getting between the two of them.  “Now hold on you two. And although it might be nice to watch the two of you go at it. There’s been enough brawling in the street as it is.  Kid, you go get some sleep.  I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Despite Jimmy’s assurances, Kid really didn’t think it was such a good idea.  Jimmy had always been a hell raiser and age didn’t seem to have tempered him.  Kid had the feeling of letting these two loose anywhere would result in the town being leveled.

Calamity on the other hand was quite keen on the idea of spending the evening with Wild Bill Hickok.  She eagerly latched on to Jimmy’s arm.  “Yeah, I think I’ll be in good hands with Wild Bill looking after me.”

The meaning was not lost on Kid, but he wasn’t interested in arguing the point.  Besides, the look on Jimmy’s face showing that he may have bitten off more than he could handle was worth it.  Instead, Kid bid them both a good night and went to his temporary lodgings to get some much-needed shuteye.

the next morning, Kid was up early ready to go.  Predictably, Calamity was dunking her head in a rain barrel full of water, desperately trying to alleviate her hang over.  Kid shook his head reprovingly, but patted her on the back comfortingly anyway.  Everywhere they went, Martha saw fit to live up to her nickname.  Constantly getting drunk and picking fights.  And it was always up to him to bail her out.  He didn’t know why he bothered, but he felt strangely responsible for her.  Kid gave her one last pitying look before going to make sure everything was ready.

While checking on the horses, making sure their briddles were comfortably secure, he saw Jimmy walking toward him.  Hickok was clad similarly to what he wore yesterday, only now he wore dark glasses.  Probably to hide his bloodshot eyes and protect him from the glaring rays of the morning sun.

“Hey Jimmy,” Kid said, a little loud than necessary.  “What’re you doing up this early?”

Jimmy’s head was pounding after last night’s excesses.  Last night was a little hazy.  The last thing he remembered clearly was taking Jane to the Soiled Sheep Saloon.  After that it gets iffy.  He flinched slightly at Kid’s loud voice, but was determined not to show it.

“Gotta meeting with the town council.  Bastards wanna charge some woman fifty dollars for putting her circus up outside of town.  Can you believe that?  Fifty dollars!  They should be paying her just for coming to the hole.”  Then Jimmy nodded to the coach.  “You getting to go?”

“Yep.  Just waiting for - ”

a ruckus from within the stables attracted both their attention.  Kid and Jimmy looked over and saw the hostler come flying backwards out the doors.  A few seconds later, Calamity staggered out, grappling with two more men.  One had her around the waist, while the other tried to subdue her hands.  Kid groaned, “Oh no.”

Kid was tempted to leave Calamity to her fate.  Hearing her angry scream, Kid sighed.  There was no way he would abandon her in any situation.  Him and Jimmy both walked over to help out.  Kid grabbed the one holding her hands, spun him around and punched him across his cheek.  Jimmy drew one of his pistol’s and clubbed the other one across the back of his head.

Straightening herself out, Calamity crowed, “Take that you yellow-bellied - ”

“Martha will shut up,” Kid snapped.  “Now what happened here?”

“Just a coupla lowlife’s that can’t keep their hands to themselves.”

“That’s not true,” one of the hostlers said defensively.  “Mr. Campbell caught her drinking on duty and when he tried to take the bottle away from her she decked him.”

“That’s a lie,” Calamity protested, but Kid could smell the fresh alcohol on her breath and clothes.

“That does it.”  Kid had reached the end of his patience.  Grabbing Martha Jane by her ear and dragged her back to into the stables.

“Owowowow,” Calamity balled.

After they disappeared inside, Jimmy heard Jane say, “What are you doing?  Don’t touch me.  Ow.”  Jimmy could now hear slapping sounds and went to investigate.  When Jimmy entered the stables he stopped and stared at the scene in front of him.

Kid had put Jane over his knee, jerked her trousers down and proceeded to tan her backside with the open palm of his hand.  Every time Kid’s hand connected with Calamity’s rump she spewed out a barrage of curses the likes of which Jimmy hadn’t even heard of in all his days as a wagon master, lawman, scout and Jayhawker.  A crowd was beginning to gather, so Jimmy thought it best to focus his attnetion on dispersing it.  

“Okay folks, nothing to see hear.  Best get about yer business.  Move along.”  When nobody moved, Jimmy drew one of his gun’s and fired three shots in the air.  “I said git,” he hollered.  That got the crowd to leave.  He fired at the feet of a few stragglers.  “Go on, get!”

when his hadn’t started getting sore, Kid stopped and pushed her off his lap.  She landed on the dirty floor trying to pull her pants back up.  She looked up with hot, angry tears of humiliation and said a few more choice words not fit to be repeated.

“You can swear all you want little lady,” Kid scolded.  “The fact remains that you’ve had that coming for some time.  After those bar brawls you helped start in Wichita, Brookeville, Russell and Fort Zarah.  And that business with Lieutenant Simmons at Fort Larned.”

“I didn’t know he was married!”

“I was talking about his wife!”

Jimmy was desperately trying not to burst out in hysterical fits of laughter, and failing miserably at it.

Calamity, sensing she wasn’t going to win this argument with Horace, heard his attempts to stifle his guffaws and turned her anger toward him.  “A fat lot of help you were!”

“I’m sorry ma’am,” Jimmy answered.  “My job is to keep the peace within the limits of Hays City and Ellis County.  I see this as purely a matter of internal discipline for the Wells Fargo Company.”

Jimmy watched Calamity storm out of the stables, desperately trying not to laugh.  Still trying to pull her pants backup, Jimmy got a clear look at her welt-covered bottom.  He managed to hide his laughter in an exaggerated cough.  He felt she’d been embarrassed enough today.

“You sure as hell weren’t that held back last night,” she yelled over her shoulder.

“Jimmy,” Kid said slowly.  “You didn’t…with Martha Jane…did you?”

“No!  I…don’t…think so.”

Walking back to the coach, Jimmy commented, “You know.  You should’ve tried something like that nine years ago.  It might have saved everybody a lot of grief.”

Kid chortled at the thought of him spanking Lou the same way he did Calamity.  If tried he’d get shot.  That was the difference between Lou and Calamity.  Martha was all bluster.  If Lou said she could do something, she would.

After all the passengers were loaded, it was time to leave.  Back up in the driver’s box, Calamity sat there sullen and fuming.  But if it kept her quiet for the rest of the trip, Kid didn’t care how she felt toward him right now.  He climbed up in to the driver’s seat and picked up the reins.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks Jimmy,” Kid replied.  “But I think Hays City is a little rough for my tastes.”

“Rough,” Jimmy seemed to find the idea of his town being dangerous ridiculous.  “She should be here when things are really kicking.”

Kid smiled and released the break.  Flicking the reins, he gave a loud “Yeeeaah” and the stage thundered out of Hays City.