Early the next morning Jimmy rode over to Rayne’s house while the other’s sat down for breakfast.  He wanted to talk to her and to see how she was doing.  When he rode up he expected Yona to greet him like she always did, but Yona was no where to be seen.  Jimmy walked to the barn; no one ever knocked on the front door anymore because Rayne was rarely in her house.  Loki was gone. 

Beau neighed from his stall as Jimmy approached.  There was fresh water and oats for the big animal.  Posted on the stall door was a sealed envelope with Lou’s name on it.  He grabbed the letter and walked to the house.  No one answered when he knocked on the door.  “Maybe she went out on a ride.”  Jimmy thought out loud, but he had a sinking feeling in his gut.

When Jimmy rode back to the way station everyone was already up and beginning their chores.  “Jimmy you missed breakfast.”  Rachel said when he got off the horse.

“Lou, found this at Rayne’s.”  He handed Lou the letter.  Quickly she opened and scanned it.  It was a few seconds before she said anything.  “What does it say?”

“It says that she’s gone for a few days.  Wants me to look after Beau.”

“Does it say where she went?”  Buck asked.

Lou shook her head.  “No it just says Lou, I had to get out of town.  I’ll be gone for a few days.  Look in on Beau for me if you don’t mind. Rayne.”

“What’ll we do Teaspoon?”  Cody asked.

“What do you me what do we do?  We don’t do anything.  Rayne will be back maybe she just needs a little time.”  Teaspoon nodded.  “I’m going into town anyone coming?”

“I am.”  Jimmy said.  “I got business.”  Teaspoon raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“Why she just take off without telling me?”  Lou muttered to herself as she went back to her chores.  She was hurt that her friend hadn’t told Lou of her plans.  Was it because of what happened yesterday?  But Rayne wasn’t the type to turn tail and run.

“It’s like Teaspoon said, she just probably needed some time.  Ain’t nothing to worry about.”  Kid tried to reassure her.

“I ain’t worried, Rayne can take care of herself.  I just wonder why she didn’t tell me.”  Lou said but smiled appreciatively at Kid when he put his hand on her shoulder.  “After what happened yesterday, I just hope she’s okay.”

“Don’t worry.  She’s fine.”

Teaspoon and Jimmy pulled their horses up in front of the Marshal’s office.  “Jimmy you stay away from Hudson.  You hear me?”

“I ain’t planning on running to him, I got some other business to look into.” He said.  “But if he tries something, I can’t make any promises.”

“Jimmy stay away.  You’re going to see Tilly ain’t you.”  He said it more as statement than a question.  Jimmy just looked at him.  “Are you so sure that’s smart?  You wouldn’t want her prying into her life.”  ‘Her’ being Rayne.

“Teaspoon, there’s something going on with her and it’s eating her up inside.  It’s gonna kill her if she don’t deal with it.  Now she’s gone.”  Jimmy told the older man.  “She ain’t going to tell us what it is, so I’m going to find out.”

“You sure that’s wise?”  Teaspoon asked but Jimmy didn’t turn around to answer.  Instead he walked strait over to the saloon.

Tilly was wiping down Gus’ piano when Jimmy walked in.  She walked the young man walk toward her his hat in his hands.  “Hello, ‘mam.”  She held out and met his out stretched hand.  “My name’s James Hickok.”

“I know who you are son.”  She said warily.  “Call me Tilly.  What I really want to know is why are you here?

“Well ‘mam, I was wondering if I could ask you something?”  He said slowly. 

“Sit down.” She offered him a chair.  “Let me guess you’re asking ’bout Rayne.”  Tilly eyed the man.  James Hickok didn’t look near as threatening as everyone said that he was.  The young man that sat before her had an almost shy nature to him.  His eyes were soft but observant.  When he nodded she took a deep breath.  “Why?”

Jimmy sensed that the way he answered would determine how much the woman told him.  “You heard about what went on with the MacMurphy brothers, I’m guessing.”  Tilly nodded.  “And I saw you there yesterday when that mess happened.” 

Again Tilly nodded.  She had seen the young man there when that horrible lieutenant attacked Rayne.  He had looked like Tilly felt.  She was sure that if the Lieutenant had stepped out of line again that Jimmy would have put a hole through him.

“Well I just know that something is eating at her but she won’t let anyone know what.  And now she’s taken off.”

Tilly raised her eyebrows.  “She still running off is she?  Don’t worry when she gets the notion she’ll be back.  Been running off like that since she was little.  First time she did it had the entire saloon, well most of it anyway, in an uproar.  We searched the town, the forest, everywhere.  Then just like it nothing was the matter she walked in the back door.  Then every now and again when she wanted she’d disappear for a few days.  I swear to you each time would scare the living daylights out of me, but then she just walk back in like nothing was wrong.”  A faint smile was on her lips at the memory.  “I always wondered if she ever stopped.”

“Why?”  He asked, wondering why she ran.

“Never asked.  Just told her not too.  She didn’t listen.  Jimmy why don’t you get yourself a drink.  I got a feeling that you’re going to be here a while if you want all your questions answered.  I’ll answer as much as I feel I can.” 
 

Chapter 18

“Rayne was the most wonderful little girl you ever saw.”  Tilly said.  “Smart as a whip, friendly.  You know she never met a stranger.  When she was born it was like someone let loose a bundle of sunshine into Nelly’s.  I hadn’t wanted Abby to have her but I can’t imagine how different life would have been without her.”  Jimmy raised an eyebrow at that comment.  “A whore house ain't no place for a baby to grow up.”  She said answering his unspoken question.   “It was amazing how much you can give somebody and if it ain’t what they need then it’s nothing.”

“I don’t understand.”  Jimmy said.  The woman that Tilly was describing didn’t sound anything like the Rayne he knew.  What had changed the trusting little girl into the untrusting wary woman?

“Rayne, the only thing that she wanted was Abby’s attention.  Abby was the center of Rayne’s world but Abby was also the center of Abby’s word.  She had no time for her daughter.  Rayne would follow her around all day and Abby would yell at her.  I swear that woman must have been the devil on earth.”  Tilly said angrily.  “No matter how much attention me and the other girls gave her, Rayne craved a smile from Abby.  Then when she was about seven years old Rayne started going downhill.  Her mood changed, her eyes changed.  Every time Abby left a room it was like she took the light from Rayne with her.”

Jimmy’s jaw clenched and unclenched.  It was hard for him to hear such things happening to a child.  “Why did she care so much about Abby if Abby was never a mother to her?”

“I wish I knew.  I think that somewhere somehow Rayne got it into her head that no one could love her if her mother didn’t love her.  So Rayne did everything to get Abby to love her.  She would sit perfectly still for hours if Abby told her to be quiet.  She refused to go outside if Abby told her to stay clean.  The more Abby pulled away from her, the more Rayne pulled away from everyone else.  It was like she began looking at everyone like they were lying to her when they told her she was good or pretty.  Damn Abby for doing that to that child.  It was like she was killing Rayne right in front of us.  When Jeremy Elliot took her away I wept with joy as well as sorrow.”

“What was Jeremy Elliot like?”  He already had a picture of the man in his mind.  A man who made his daughter work like a dog didn’t rate to highly in his book.  “Was he hard?  Did he hurt her?”

“Jeremy Elliot was the best thing in Rayne’s life.  I’ve never seen a man who love his little girl more.  Problem was that he never told her that he was her father and she never knew that he loved her.” 

“Why did he make her work on his ranch then?  Why wasn’t she with the other children?”

“Mr. Elliot’s wife wouldn’t allow it.  That was the reason that he didn’t take Rayne the day she as born.  He had two other legitimate daughters that were spoiled and useless.  Mr. Elliot had the craziest notions that girls could do the same jobs as boys and freely employed women on his ranch.” Tilly shook her head.  “He wanted Rayne to be able to earn her way in the world.  I knew a woman who worked as a cook on the Belle Fille for a few years and she kept me posted on the happenings.  I knew almost everything until Rayne was fifteen and Gus and I moved.”

Jimmy smiled.  “So that’s why she gets so mad when we try to help her.  Her head has been filled with the strange notions.”

“Oh on.  Mr. Elliot merely helped.  Rayne has been stubborn since the day that she was born.  Never wanted help from anyone.  Besides I hear that you were in that saloon when she took out those men.  I wager you should be glad at Jeremy’s teaching.”

“I never said he didn’t do a good thing.  She can ride and shoot just as well if not better than any man.  But she said that Jack Slade taught her to shoot?”

“Who do you think hired Jack Slade?  Jeremy wouldn’t ever go anywhere near Rayne, he merely watched from a distance.  He surrounded Rayne with people who could teach her everything he wanted her to know.”  She gave him a smug smile as if it was her that hired the men.

“Did you spend a lot of time with her at the Belle Fille?”  He asked.

“No.”  She said quietly and looked out the window.  “After that night that Jeremy took her, no one ever saw her in person again.  As girls came and left only a few of us remembered or cared where she was.  When I left only Nelly and myself knew who Rayne was.  Nelly pass on a two years ago and her son runs the old place now.”

“What happened the night Jeremy took her?  You said it was a catch in your voice.” 

“I will not talk about it.  Rayne doesn’t even remember and I don’t think you should know if she doesn’t.”  Tilly said shortly. 

“I’m sorry.  I just want to understand all of this.  Why she doesn’t trust people?  Why she won’t open herself to anyone?  There are people who care about her but she changes her moods with the wind.”  He said softly.

Tilly stared at the man at the table.  Was this kind soul the man they called “Wild Bill”?  He look like he genuinely cared for Rayne.  She wondered how much he cared for her.  “It will take a lot of patience to deal with Rayne.  She fights off everyone like a wild cat but I wonder what will happen if she ever stops fighting.”  She said absently.

“I hope to find out.”  Jimmy though to himself.  His eyes moved to the window.  Why was he pushing this so hard?  What was it about Rayne that made him want to help her?  When he turned back to Tilly he didn’t understand the twinkle in her eyes.  “Tilly why doesn’t she want anyone to touch her?”

“Why that question?” She thought as her face paled dramatically. 

“Are you okay, Tilly?”  He asked concerned.

“You do know how to pick the difficult questions, don’t you?”  Jimmy didn’t understand but something in her voice made her brace himself for what was to come.  Tilly took a deep sigh.  “A few months before Rayne left with Jeremy Elliot something happened.  As you know, well, Abby, me, and the others were working girls.  Because we had to work at night Abby used to lock Rayne down in the cellar.  It wasn’t the most wonderful place for a child but all the rooms were in use and we couldn’t very well leave her out, it was too dangerous.  There were a couple of times when so of the men tried things so it was safer for her here.  Or at least that’s how we made ourselves feel better.  Rayne was ten at the time.”

Jimmy thought he began to see where this was going and began to pale.  He was angry.  What kind of man would rape child?  Poor Rayne.  He had heard that such things made women never want to be with a man again.

She saw the ideas come into his head and knew what he was thinking was wrong.  How she wished she could stop and not tell the story.  “Anyway one of Abby’s regulars that been dumped from Abby’s schedule.  He had who knew who Rayne was and where she was and thought that if he couldn’t have Abby then…” She let her voice trail off, tears began to form in her eyes.  “Well he burst into the cellar and try to have his was with Rayne.”  She put her arms around herself and then wiped away tears that fell.  Her husband came up and put his arms around her.  “But Rayne she wasn’t about to let him.  She fought him like a tiger.”  Tilly almost smiled through his tears.  “Somehow Rayne managed to find a knife and stab the man before he could do anything.”  Tears fell like raindrops.  “The man collapsed on her, dead.  Right on top of that little girl.”

“Oh god!” Was all Jimmy could think.  His stomach was beginning to churn.

“And he was to heavy.  She couldn’t get out from under him.”  She was crying freely.  “When we went to unlock the door the body was stiff and Rayne was frozen under it.  I thought that she was dead.”  She cried.  “She never let anyone ever touch her again.  I tried to hold her and she would kick and scratch to get away.  Finally I just gave up.  Everyone just gave up.  Rayney I’m so sorry.”  Gus pulled her into his arms and motioned to Jimmy to leave.

Jimmy walked out of the saloon almost in a state of shock.  So that was why she didn’t want anyone to touch her, he didn’t blame her.  But he still had more questions.  Why didn’t Rayne believe that anyone else cared about her?  Who took care of her when she went to Jeremy’s?  The only people that Rayne mentioned were ranch hands.  Was there someone that she turned too?  Who held her when she had a nightmare?  Who wiped her tears away when she cried?  He pictured a little girl curled up on a bed her knees tucked under her chin, tears running down her dirty face.  Who told her that she wasn’t alone?  He walked into Teaspoon’s office.  Who had kept his Rayne safe?

“Did you find out what you wanted to know?”  Teaspoon asked but Jimmy didn’t respond.

“Did he just refer to Rayne as  ‘his’?”  Jimmy was stunned.  No, it was merely a slip in his thinking process.  Vaguely he was aware that someone was calling his name. 

“Jimmy, Jimmy?”  Teaspoon called.

“What?  Did you say something?”

“Ya I asked if you found out what you wanted to know?”  Jimmy looked like someone had just walked over his grave.

“Yes, no, I don’t know.”  He said.

“Answering the questions that you had only lead to more questions, huh?” 

“Something like that.”  Jimmy’s mind was still somewhere else.

“What do you think that Rayne’s going to do when she finds out you been snooping in her life?”  Teaspoon asked.  “And she will find out.”

“I’m sure that it won’t be anything short of a bullet in the head.”  Jimmy smiled.  “Anything else and I’ll be disappointed.”
 

Chapter 19

“Eight days.”  Lou thought as she sat down to breakfast.  “Eight whole days.”  Lou hadn’t realized that she would miss Rayne so much.  Since Rayne moved to Sweetwater she became Lou’s friend and confidant.  It was Rayne who knew all about Lou and Kid’s problems and it was Rayne who talked her through them logically.  She sat down next to Jimmy who looked as miserable as Lou felt.  All week long he snapped and bit people’s head off.   “Hey.”

“Hey.”  He nodded hello at her.  Jimmy dug into his breakfast when he heard a familiar sound.

“Where is everyone?”  Rayne yelled as she rode up to the house.  Yona barked happily.

Lou and Jimmy looked at each other and broke out into smiles.  Everyone rushed outside to see Rayne sitting atop Loki smiling at them.  Her clothes were dirty with trail dust and her hair was in disarray but she looked happy.  Next to Loki was a smaller dapple-gray mare.  It flipped it’s black tail nervously and stared at the approaching people.  The horse was loaded down with supplies.

There was a rousing chorus of hellos and a bombardment of questions.  Rayne laughed.  “Everyone shut up!”  She called and smiled when the looked at her.  “Man, it was so quiet for the past few days.  If you don’t shut up how else am I going to give you you’re presents.”

“Presents?”   Cody asked.

Rayne had spent days riding around the countryside.  She was embarrassed at the way she just ran off and decided to make it up to the people she had grown close too but she didn’t know how.  So she rode into Cheyenne and began to shop.  The best way that she knew to express her feelings was to spend some of the money Mr. Elliot left her.  “Yep, everyone got presents.  Teaspoon your should be here on the stage today.  It’s a new chair for you office.  Was I supposed to keep that a surprise?”

“Rayne you didn’t have to do anything like this, you know?”  Teaspoon said.

“I know I didn’t have to but I did.  So there, I don’t want to hear any complaints.”  She said finally.  Then she reached across to the other horse and pulled out two thin white boxes and peeked inside the first one.  “Okay this one’s for Rachel and this one’s Lou’s.”  She handed them the boxes.

Rachel opened the box and gasped.  Inside was a blue dress the color of the sky.  It was the latest style and easily the best dress Rachel had seen.  “Oh Rayne, you shouldn’t have.” 

“The next person who says something like that, I shoot.”  She said. 

Lou was stunned.  The dress that was in her box was a pale lilac color it wasn’t as flashy as Rachel’s was but it was made mostly of satin.  It was entirely impractical because the dress was very sturdy but Lou had never seen anything more beautiful.  “Rayne this is too expensive.”  Then looked into the box and saw a small bottle of perfume.  She opened it and smelled the sweet smell of flowers.

“No it wasn’t.  Beside I owe both of you dresses after I got the you other one’s ruined.”  Lou opened her mouth to say something else but Rayne didn’t let her.  “Cody, you ready.”  She handed him a small package and a rifle.

Cody held the rifle; it was the .45 Marlin-Ballard like the one that he had admired in Tompkins store.  One of the best rifles of the area. For once Cody was speechless.  He tore into the package and pulled out a book and read the title aloud. “The Compete works of William Shakespeare.  Rayne I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.  Buck.” She handed Buck a small box. 

He opened it carefully.  “I’ve never seen anything like this.”  Inside was a large knife that was very similar to the one that he already had, only more ornate, in a leather case that could be strapped to someone’s leg.  On the leather case was the picture of a large stag.  Buck pulled the knife out of the case and turned it in his hand.  In grave on was side were words in a language that he didn’t recognize.  “Che cosa non uccide li rendete più forti?”  The words were a little butchered.

“It’s an Italian proverb.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  She looked at Buck and he nodded faintly.

“Who’s next? Noah check the horse.”  She ordered him.

Noah walked to the horse but didn’t see anything.  He stared back up at her.  “Kid you might as well look at it with him.”  Kid joined Noah but they both looked confused.  The only thing left on the horse was a dark leather saddle and a halter with silver plating on it.  Noah began staring at the halter; there was something almost familiar about it.  “Do you see it Noah?”  She asked as the man ran his hands along the halter.

“Are you serious?”  He asked.   This halter and bit matched his silver saddle almost perfectly.  It was like they were part of the same set. 

Rayne smiled.  “Yep.  Is it going to match?  I don’t know if it’s similar enough.”

“It’s perfect.  I can’t accept it.”  Noah said solemnly.

Her eyes narrowed.  “Noah, I don’t do a lot of nice thing and you better take this one or I’ll shoot you.  Now I don’t want to hear anymore.  Kid have you figured you’re out yet?”

“I get the saddle.”  He said running his hands over it.  It was made of dark, soft, leather.  It was ten times nicer than the one he had for Katy now but he felt the same as Noah.  “I can’t-”

All of a sudden a Colt Dragon was leveled with his head.  “Damn it Kid what part of ‘I don’t want to hear it’ don’t you understand.  I’ll shoot you I swear it.  Now take the damn saddle off this horse and go put it on Katy like I know you want to.”  He grinned up at her and began taking the saddle off.

Jimmy stared up at Rayne.  He was so happy it frightened him.  She reached into Loki’s saddlebag and pulled out a small black velvet bag.  “Jimmy this is yours.”  He heard her say.  When he opened the bag a gold pocket watch fell out in his hands.  He was so surprised to see that she got him something like that. When he pushed the button that popped the watch open he saw that his name had been engraved on the inside.  ‘James Butler Hickok’ was written in delicately carved twirling letters. 

His eyes met hers and she smiled at his look of disbelief.  It had taken her the longest to pick out his present because she didn’t know what to get him.  “Okay well then I guess I’m done.  I’m going into town to give Tilly her gift.”

Ike was distressed.  She had forgotten him.  Hurt was written all over his face.  Then he bowed his head and looked at the ground.  Buck saw the look on his friend’s face and was shocked that Rayne hadn’t gotten Ike a gift. 

“Oh wait.  Ike?”  Rayne said sharply.  When he looked up at her she was shocked at the hurt in his eyes.  “Did you really think that I forgot you?”  She said accusingly.

He signed something to her and smiled.  She hadn’t forgotten.  The joy in his eyes was apparent. 

It took her a moment to figure out what he had said but then scoffed at him.  “You are not easy to over look.  Let me tell you it took some work finding your gift.  I had to travel an extra day out of my way just to pick it up.”  She sounded angry but Ike saw the light in her eyes and knew he was teasing him. 

As Rayne talked she began to unravel the rope around her saddle horn.  “Here you go.” She handed him a few pieces of paper.  He read them and looked confused.  “Ike catch.” She threw the rope to him.

He followed the rope and saw the beautiful dapple horse on the other end.  The horse danced nervously.  Ike studied the animal.  Not very tall maybe 15 hands, dark legs that faded to a gray body, and a black main and tail. Ike signed something to Rayne.  “That’s right she’s yours.  Ike McSwain I’d like you to meet Maria’s Ghost.  Ghost for short.  Those papers show that she’s a registered Arabian.  Ghost is three years old.  And Ike, she flies.  I know I tried her out.  Now maybe you can keep you hands off my horse.”  She laughed.  Ike was already getting aquatinted with the horse.

“Okay well now I’ve got go.  I’ve got to go see Tilly.”  She said.  “I’ll see you later.”

“Rayne come back for dinner.”  Rachel said.

“Okay,” she called over her shoulder as she rode off.  Lou and Jimmy stood watching her go.  They had hoped that she would have stayed for the day but instead they had only a few minutes.  In fact she had never even gotten off her horse.

Cody flipped through his book.  “This was better than Christmas.”  Kid ran off to try his new saddle on Katy.  Rachel had gone back into the house.  Ike was halfway done saddling Ghost, intending on taking the horse for a ride.  Noah was reading over Cody’s shoulder.  “This Shakespeare guy new his stuff.”

“I’m going to town.”  Teaspoon said.  He was amazed at the money Rayne had spent on presents.  Where did she get all that money?   He bet Jimmy knew but didn’t ask.  Jimmy hadn’t told anyone anything that he learned from Tilly.  When he got to town he asked if the stage was in, truth of it was he wanted to see his new chair.
 

Chapter 20

Jimmy was mending the fence on the corral when he heard the horse ride up.  He didn’t think anything of it because he assumed it was one of the other riders and continued to hammer away.  Then he heard the gun cock and turned around slowly to see a very angry Rayne with her gun pointed at him.

“Who the hell do you think that you are Jimmy Hickok?”  She spat at him.   “I’ve told you a dozen times to mind your own business.”  She didn’t even smile when he began to back away from her.

“I- I’m sorry.”  He tried to apologize. 

“What gave you the right?”  The other riders were watching with awed expressions.  Rayne’s eyes were black with rage.  Jimmy continued to try to back up but ran into the fence.

“Look I’m sorry.  I just--” He couldn’t find the words he needed to get him out of the situation. He had known that Rayne was going to be mad but he hadn’t expected this.  “Let’s go somewhere and talk about this.”  Nodding to the other riders, he assumed that she didn’t want them all to know what he knew.

“You mean that they don’t already know?”  Rayne accused him.  “What you’re just a snoop and not a gossip.  Well gee- thanks Jimmy.”

“Rayne.”  He said sternly. 

“Don’t take that tone with me.  You want to go somewhere else and talk about it fine with me.  There won’t be any witnesses.”  She said and jumped up on Loki and took off.  Jimmy walked over to Katy, who still had the new saddle on, jumped on and went after Rayne.

When she finally stopped she realized that she was in the middle of no where.  She turned in a circle and saw flat plains stretching out for miles.  Jimmy stood behind her and she turned to look at him. 

Jimmy expected to see the same rage that he had seen at the way station but it wasn’t there.  Instead she looked at him with eyes full of hurt and embarrassment.  He had to look away because the emotions in her eyes were too raw for him to look at.  “I’m sorry.”  He said softly.

“Why Jimmy?  I don’t understand.  Why would you do that to me?”  She was so confused.  What had made him want to hurt her like that?  When Tilly had told her everything that she told Jimmy, Rayne almost died.  Now he knew what a bad person she was.  Why would he want to know that?

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I just wanted to know you.”

“You do know me.”  She said.

“No, I don’t.  None of us do.  You only tell us what you want to tell us.  For Christ sake I don’t even know your middle name.”  He explained.

“So what?  Do I know everything about you or the others?  You have secrets, why can’t I?”   She asked him.

“But,” How did he explain this?  Could he explain this?  He didn’t even know why he did it.  “You can have secrets.  I was just so tired of being so far away.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You keep all of us at arms length.  And get mad when we try to get closer or when we try to help.”

“I don’t get mad when you try to help, I get mad when you think I can’t do something.”  Rayne said.

“What about that thing with Hudson before you left?  I was trying to help you and you yelled at me and then ran away.”  Jimmy accused.

“I didn’t need your help.  I can handle Hudson.” 

“You can’t do everything by yourself.”  He said pointedly.  “Why do you get mad when I try to get close to you?”

“I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”  He watched her as he spoke.  She was seemed so delicate right now but there were other times when he swore she could take on an army.  “Why didn’t you tell me anything about your life?  Why did I have to go to Tilly to find out things about a person I care about?”  He couldn’t believe he said that but it was too late to take back.  Suddenly the look that she gave him made him understand what Tilly meant when she said that Rayne looked at her like she was lying.  Disbelief washed over Rayne’s entire being, she even took a step back.  “Why do you hide inside yourself?  What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything!”  She said.  What was happening?  Jimmy lied to her, she never thought that he would lie to her.  People don’t care about her, she knew that much.  He didn’t care; he was just nosy and now a liar.  Anger overwhelmed confusion.  “What was I supposed to tell you?  That I was a horrible person?  That everything I touch turns to horse manure?  Why should I tell you?  You would have figured it out sooner or later.  Everyone does.”

What was she talking about?  Jimmy was confused.  “You’re not a horrible person.”

“Shut up Jimmy.  How would you know?  Like you said before you don’t even know me.”  She spat at him.

Why was she getting so angry?  Suddenly another flash from his conversation with Tilly entered his head.  The woman had said that Rayne fought everyone off like a wild cat and that was what she was doing to him now.  He must be hitting something that she didn’t want him to get close to.  “I don’t know everything about you but I know that you are not a bad person.”

“Shut up Jimmy!”  She yelled.

“You’re not!”  He yelled back.

“Shut up.”

“Rayne you’re not!”

“Jimmy I killed someone when I was 10.  Do you understand I was still a child and I took someone’s life.”  She yelled and then sank to the ground.  “I’m a horrible person.”  She whispered.

When he knelt down in front of her Jimmy stared for a few seconds before he spoke.  “He would have hurt you.  It was self-defense.  That doesn’t make you a horrible person.”  He put his fingers under her chin and tried to make her look at him but she pulled away.

“Yes it does.  He wasn’t a bad man, he was just drunk.  I knew him.  He bought me toys and I killed him.  I am a murderer.”  She said and looked at the ground, a knot in her throat.  “Abby told me I was.”

He opened his mouth in shock.  Abby, Rayne’s mother called her a murderer when she was a child.  The little girl had saved herself and the mother cared about the man that had died.  A new hatred bloomed inside him for the woman.  “What else did Abby tell you?”  He asked.

“That I was bad and ugly.”  She said after a few minutes.  Her voice was so soft that Jimmy had to lean closer to hear it.  When she began to talk it was almost as if she was reciting what she was saying from word for word from memory, which was probably true.  “She said that she couldn’t stand to look at me because I was so bad.  And that everyone knew what a disgusting little girl I was because they could see it in my eyes.  She said that my eyes were filled with evil gray smoke.”

Everything in his being told him to reach out to the girl and hold her until her pain went away but when he tried she stood up and backed away from him.  Now there was fear in her eyes.  “The other’s don’t know yet.  Please don’t tell them.”  She pleaded.  “I like it here.  I’ve never had this many people to talk to at once.  On the ranch most everyone ignored me.  Let me have the time until they find out.  Just let me be happy for a little longer.” 

Jimmy was taken aback.  She believed everything that came out of her mouth.  She thought that one day the riders would see that she was an evil person and never talk to her again.  “Rayne, you aren’t evil.”

“I don’t care what you tell me, just promise not to tell them.  I’ll never talk to you again if that’s what you want.” 

“Damn it Rayne.  Listen to me!  You are one of the kindest, selfless people I know.  You risked so much to save me, Buck and Teaspoon and some girl you didn’t even know.  No one besides that mother of yours thinks you’re evil. And she was a liar.”

“Leave my mother out of this James Hickok!”  Rayne snarled.  “You don’t even know her.”

“Neither do you.” He thought to himself.  So this was what Tilly meant about Rayne’s mother being the center of her world.  She would rather believe bad things about herself that came from her mother than the entire world of people that told her otherwise. “Rayne listen to me.  No matter what you think.  Listen to what I say.  I have not, do not, or will not ever think that you are a bad person.  Do you hear me?  I don’t want you to stop talking to me.”  She nodded but she wore her look of disbelief.  “I haven’t told anyone what I learned from Tilly.  In fact Teaspoon is the only one that even knows I talked to her.”

Rayne shoulders dropped with relief.  He wasn’t going to tell the others about her, but he knew.  But he had to hate her.  Abby always told her that people lied about what they felt so they would look better to other people.  She stared up a Jimmy with a regretful look.  Jimmy was the one that angered her the most but he was also the one that made her the happiest.  Sometimes when he smiled at her she thought that he was different.  For some reason the time that she had held Jimmy hostage came back to her.  It was the first time in a long time that she had been close to another human being. 

“Let’s go back to the house.”  He said as he walked toward Katy.  Yona was lying on the grass.  With all the yelling going on the dog hadn’t once gotten up to stop him.  The dog knew that he wasn’t going to hurt Rayne.  When he turned to look at Rayne he couldn’t do anything but stare.  She was standing like a statue.  Her hat was hanging down he back and her long hair was tossed in different directions by the wind.  But her eyes were what captured Jimmy.  Abby had told Rayne that her eyes were evil but that was the furthest thing from the truth.  Inside her eyes was a child that was scared and lonely and Jimmy swore to himself that somehow he would chase that all away and she would never be scared or lonely again.

He knelt down and rubbed the dog’s head.  “Tell her that I’m not going to hurt her.”  He whispered to the dog.  “Tell her that I’m not going away like everyone else has.  Okay?  She’ll listen to you.” 

The door closed to Lt. Hudson’s office and Oliver smiled in his chair.  On his desk was the key to his revenge.  He ran his hands over the pieces of paper.  Rayne Kincade would be his by this time tomorrow or else she would be dead, but one way or the other he would win. 
 

Chapter 21

Rayne was saddling Loki when the riders rode up with serious looks on their faces.  “Hey what’s wrong?”  She said worriedly and looked around to see whom was missing.  “Where are Teaspoon and Ike?  Did something happen to them?  Is Rachel okay?”

“Rayne pack some food, a blanket, and whatever else you need.  Hurry!”  Lou ordered.

“What’s going on?”  She said as watched Jimmy and Noah get off their horses and run into her house.  “Where are they going?”

“Finish saddling Loki, Jimmy and Noah will pack.”  Kid said.

“Tell me what’s going on!”  Rayne screamed.

“It’s Hudson.  He’s coming here to arrest you.  You have to get going until Teaspoon can straighten this out.”  Buck tried to explain. 

“Arrest me?  What for?”

Lou was dreading telling her friend the news because she knew what Rayne’s reaction was going to be.  “Here look at this.”  She handed Rayne the wanted poster.

On the poster was a drawing of Rayne.  In big bold letters at the top of the poster were the words: WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE.  Below her face in smaller letters were: Murderer and Horse Thief. Reward $300.  “What is this?”

“Hudson says that you killed Loki’s owner and stole the horse.”  Jimmy said from behind her in his hands were her saddlebags full of food and clothing.  “You’ve got to get out of here now.”

“But it’s a lie.  I inherited Loki.”  Then a horrific though came to her.  The bad things that she had done washed over her and she knew that the others had to know.  They knew she was evil.  It didn’t matter that she hadn’t done what Hudson said that she did, the idea had been placed in their heads.  It was too late.

“None of us believe it.  You just got to get out of town.”  Jimmy read her face.  He knew that everything Abby had told her was flooding into her memory.   He heard the thundering of hooves in the distance. “She thinks that we all hate her.”  He thought to himself.

She threw herself on the horse and grabbed the things that Jimmy handed her but it was too late.  Hudson was there before she could leave.  “Get off the horse.  Killer.”  He snarled.

“Loki is mine.”  Rayne yelled.  “I killed no one to get him.”  Yona snarled at the man on the white horse.

“That’s not what this wanted poster says.”

“Everyone remain calm.”  Teaspoon said as he moved out of the crowd.  He didn’t for a minute believe that Rayne had done any of the things that Lt. Hudson said that she did.  Hudson was just trying to get revenge but he had no proof.

“Get off that horse.”  Oliver yelled again, he raised his gun to the horse.  “Or I’ll shoot it out from under you.” 

“Don’t, I’ll get off.”  Rayne had gone deathly pale at the thought of loosing her beloved horse and Oliver knew that he found her Achilles heel.  She slid down and stood between his gun and the horse.  “You know I didn’t do any of that Oliver.  Why are you doing this?”

“You are the murderer, I am merely the law.”  He said.  “Now mount up.”  He pointed to an old broken down packhorse with no saddle, ignoring the dog that was jumping around and growling at him.  Rayne didn’t move.  “Get on or I’ll shoot the dog.”  Slowly Rayne began to move to the horse.

“Now just a minute Lieutenant.  This isn’t a military matter.”  Teaspoon began.  The other rider’s backed around him and Rayne.  “This is a town matter, that falls into my jurisdiction.  I’ll take the prisoner in.”

Oliver didn’t like the way that his plan was turning.  He hadn’t thought about all the details.  Rayne was supposed to ride back to Sweetwater with him where he would give her the choice of being with him or being hanged.  The wanted posters were the finally touch, he had to have them sent from Kansas so that no one around would know about him falsifying them.  “I don’t think so marshal.” 

“  Sorry sir, It’s the law.”  Teaspoon shrugged.

Jimmy’s eyes were blazing.  There wasn’t any way that he was going to let Hudson take Rayne anywhere.  If it meant his blood he would keep Hudson away from her.  His hand moved to his gun and rested there.  Then he moved so he was right next to Rayne.

There were four other soldier’s standing behind their lieutenant.  They couldn’t figure out why there were here chasing after some ordinary criminal.  Hudson always told them that the town wasn’t important.  It didn’t make sense that he would try to fight for this one except for the fact that it was the woman that he had fought with a week ago.

The men behind Oliver Hudson were murmuring.  It sounded suspiciously like they were agitated.  They hadn’t wanted to come and he knew that they weren’t happy.  And men who weren’t happy had big mouths.  At least they didn’t really understand what was going on.

But the lieutenant was as blind as he was ignorant.  His men knew that he was after the woman and far be it from them to say that their commanding officer shouldn’t chase tail.  The thing that they didn’t understand was why this woman was so special.  There were more beautiful and defiantly more willing women at the local whorehouse, they knew from experience. 

“Fine you can take her in if you want.”  Oliver said.  He could just question her later.  “But I’m taking the evidence.”  He grabbed the horse’s reigns.”  His action produced its indented reaction.

“No!” Rayne yelled and leapt at the man that was no longer there.  “Let him go you bastard.”  She ran toward the man but something stopped her.
 

Chapter 22

If he let Rayne go, Jimmy knew that she would pull her gun on Hudson and give him the excuse he needed to shoot her.  The image of Rayne’s bullet-ridden body washed through his brain and made him sick.  He wrapped his arms around her more tightly, ignoring the claws that tried to rip the flesh off his hands and the kicks that were meeting his shins.  “Let me go!” 

Yona didn’t know who to go after first.  One was the man that she hated more than anything was laughing at her mistress.  The other was a man that she knew was a friend only he was attacking her mistress.  Yona trusted that Jimmy wouldn’t hurt Rayne so she leapt at the man on horseback, startling the white horse.  Hudson wasn’t prepared for the horse to rear and he landed on the ground.  Immediately Yona was on him her teeth aiming for his throat.  Suddenly the world went black for the dog.

One of the soldiers had seen the dog go after his lieutenant and almost shot him.  But the dog was only trying to protect his master and the solider couldn’t bring himself to shoot the animal.  Instead he walked over and swung the end of his rifle into the dog’s head.  It was knocked out.

“Noooo!!!”  Rayne screamed.  Everyone looked at her because when she yelled it was gut wrenching.  “I’ll kill you!  I swear to God, I’ll kill you!” 

Rayne was hysterical.  Seeing the solider hit Yona had driven her over the edge.  All she knew was that her cherished friend was lying on the ground not moving and the man who was responsible was laughing at her.  “Bastard.  I’ll see you in Hell!! Let me go, I’m gonna kill you!

“Jimmy hold on to her!”  Cody called out to him.  He had never seen someone act that way before.  It was as if demons possessed her soul.

Oliver shoved the dog off of him and got back on his horse.  He laughed at the struggling girl.  Then he took the reigns of her horse and began to leave.  “He’ll make a nice pack animal.”  Oliver called out to Rayne.  Then looked at the others men who were standing around.  “Good luck marshal!  I expect to see her in her cell soon.” 

Somehow Jimmy wrestled the girl to the ground and had managed to throw one of his legs over hers.  One of his arms was wrapped around Rayne pinning her arms at her sides.  Her back was nestled against his chest and his other hand covered her mouth.  She bit the palm of his hand, tried to kick, and pull out of his grasp but he held her firm.

When Oliver turned back to look at his Rayne on the ground he was disgusted to see that Hickok had wrapped himself around her.  Hudson’s eyes traveled over her stopping at her chest as she took deep, ragged breaths.  Then moved to her eyes.  What he saw there nearly froze him.  Her gray eyes gave him a look of death.  It was like the devil himself was looking out through her eyes.  He shook his head to break the stare and began to pull the horse away.  It followed reluctantly.

Teaspoon watched until Oliver was far enough away and then turned to Jimmy who was still holding the girl.  He looked into Jimmy’s eyes, which were dark with concern and confusion.  He could tell that Jimmy was talking to the girl but couldn’t tell what was being said.  The girl’s look on the other hand was easy to read.  It was rage.  When he knelt down to talked to the girl it was like she just looked through him. 

Behind Teaspoon, Buck and Ike examined Yona.  The dog’s head was bleeding but it was breathing fine.  She would be okay as so as she woke up.  Ike looked over to give Rayne the okay but she wouldn’t look at him.

Jimmy held on to Rayne for dear life.  How could he do this to her?  It was killing him to do this to her because he knew what someone touching her did to Rayne, but he didn’t have another choice.  If he let her go she would have gotten killed.  Instead, he held on to keep her alive.  She was tucked inside of the hollow of his chest and he rested his head next to hers.  It didn’t matter that his arms were bleeding from her nails or that he was holding so tight that his muscles were cramping, all that mattered was keeping her alive.  His mouth next to her ear and he began to whisper to her like he did to calm down a wild horse.  “Hush, Rayne.  Calm down.  Everything’s going to be okay.  Shh-” He soothed her but she was still tense.

“Jimmy let her up!”  Lou said from behind him.  She was scared for her friend, the way Jimmy was holding her it was a wonder she could breath. 

Everything told him not to let her go until she relaxed against him but from the feel of her that would take forever.  It was as if anger was radiating through her body.  Maybe if he just held on a little longer she would be okay.

“Jimmy,” Kid called.  “Let go.”

He closed his eyes.  The moment he let go was the moment he would lose her.  She would turn on him with all the hatred that she had.  As he moved his leg and let go of her he felt his chest constrict with pain of loss.  She jumped out of his arms and he braced himself for the onslaught of anger but I didn’t come.   Instead she just ignored him.  She ignored everyone.

Rayne didn’t know where she was or what she was doing.  The moment she was free she jumped up ran to Yona.  She felt the dog’s heart and knew that it had a strong and steady heartbeat.  She looked at the gash on its head and knew that the dog wasn’t going to wake up for a while.  It killed Rayne but she knew that she was going to have to leave Yona behind.  Her eyes filled with water but no tears fell.

“What is she doing?”  Teaspoon wondered.  The young woman was next to the dog stroking its head as it slept.  Then she began talking to it in a soft voice. 

She stoked Yona’s head and began looking down the road where Loki had been taken.  Loki was trained not to leave Rayne.  If he was taken he had been taught to come back.  They had never had to put it the test but now Rayne was going to find out if the training had worked.  Behind her she heard voices saying things like “What are we going to do?  and “We need to come up with a plan?”  but she paid them no mind.  Her thoughts were on Yona and Loki. 

“We’ve got to do something Teaspoon?”  Lou cried.  “She didn’t do the things that Hudson said she did.”

“How do we get her out of this?”  Cody asked. 

Buck listened to his friends with half an ear because in the distance he heard horse approaching.  He looked over at Ike and asked, “Do you hear that?”  Ike nodded.  “Teaspoon we got a horse coming.”

“Think its Hudson coming back for Rayne?”  Kid asked.

“I’ll kill him.”  Jimmy growled, his eyes never leaving Rayne’s back.  She was quiet, too quiet.

“No, he’d never come back to face us.”  Noah said as they all stared down the road.  “He’s too much of a coward.”

“Then who is it?”  Cody asked as Rayne got to her feet.

“Watch Yona, I’ll come back for her.  Give Beau to Rachel.” Rayne yelled to them as Loki came into view.  The rider’s stood open mouthed as the horse ran to his owner and slowed for a moment so she could jump on.  Rayne and Loki tore up the ground as they fled from the scene.