"Who's coming?" asked a feminine voice.  Both Lou and Kid turned together and saw Teresa walk in.

Realizing that she hadn't seen Teresa all day, Lou started a motherly inquisition.  "Where have you been?"

Immediately perceiving Lou's sudden tension, Kid wanted to get out as soon as he could.  The horse buyers would arrive at any second and he didn't want to get caught in the middle of what appeared to be a bomb.  Quickly he finished combing his hair, then gave Lou a quick kiss on the cheek as he
passed her.  "There's a left over roast beef sandwich for you on the kitchen table," he told Teresa as he hurried out.  Even though Lou was upset, he was grateful for Teresa's perfect timing.  He knew the bomb was about to explode, but at least it would take Lou's mind off the horse trading.

Sensing Louise's chagrin, Teresa tried a different approach.  In an effort to lighten Lou's mood Teresa comically said, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to answer a question with a question?"

It didn't work.  Louise's eyes narrowed.  With Rachel's letter still in one hand, she crossed her arms instinctively, and said tersely, "Where have you been?" Her voice was straight and she pronounced each word with clarity and distinction.

Teresa thought, "Fine, if Louise is going to act like a mother hen, then I'll just act as the rebellious little chick."  Sounding annoyed Teresa replied,  "Louise, stop treating me like I'm 14 years old.  I'm on my own now.  I no longer live here.  If you remember correctly I am your guest.  I came here to help you and your family."

"Well missy, if you remember correctly, you still call this place home, you are part of MY family, and don't forget who is supporting you at school," came Louise's harsh reply.

"Is this what this is all about?  Are you tired of supporting me?  If I remember correctly, your exact words to me as I left for nursing school were, ‘Don't think about the money.  This money is yours.  You've worked hard and you've earned it.'  Are you going back on that word?"

Louise stood there shocked.  The words rang true.  She couldn't go back on her word.  Teresa did her share around the ranch growing up, plus some.  Lou couldn't figure out why she had even mentioned supporting her.

Teresa, now grown up, was not like the timid child Louise knew when she first came to live with them.  She was still angrier than a hot pistol and took advantage of Louise's dumbfounded motions.  She snatched the letter out of Louise's hand and quickly read it before Louise jarred herself out of
guilt.

"Rachel's coming.  So I guess you won't be needing me after all.  Don't bother, I'll make the arrangements necessary to return to school.  Don't worry about supporting me neither.  I'm sure Jeremiah can lend me the money until I finish.  I'll be out of you hair as soon as possible."  With that
Teresa turned on one heel and headed towards her room.  Before stamping three paces, Teresa spun and bellowed, "Just so YOU know, I was HERE the entire time.  I was brushing down the horses in order for them to look presentable at the trading.  I was out in the barn doing YOUR chores."  Teresa managed to stay strong in front of Louise, but as soon as she was out of eyesight, tears streamed down her face in disappointment.

"Tessa..."came Louise's weak reply.  How did her concern turn into an all out war?  Lou shook her head, and sighed.  She questioned her own behavior. "Why did I attack Tessa?" she pondered.  Lou fought back the tears that were welling up inside her.  "These tears!  I never cry as much as I do when I'm pregnant."  But Lou knew she couldn't blame her outburst on her pregnancy, it was more than that.  She didn't want to lose Teresa.  Lately, Teresa was her backbone support.

Feeling defeated, Lou returned upstairs.  Walking towards her room she glanced inside the nursery.  Teresa worked side by side with her making it perfect.  As they worked, they remembered the fun times they had together.  Letting each other feel the sorrow of hard times.  Feeling the sense of
strength as those hard times were weathered together.  The nursery was Lou and Teresa's project.  Again Lou stifled back the tears.

She saw the letters sitting on her rocker.  As she walked towards the rocker, she glanced out the window.  She could tell the buyers were talking to Kid and Buck about pricing.  She noticed the horses.  They never looked better.  Teresa had polished them up real good in order for this deal to be
successful.  From the look of the proceedings, her polishing was paying off.  That was it!  Louise wanted to attend the horse sale.  She was angry at Kid, at herself, and at the world because she couldn't bargain.  Unfortunately, she took her anger out on the wrong person.  Teresa walked into the house and received the brunt of her anger.  "How could I imply to Teresa that didn't need her?" Lou thought.

Realizing her mistake, Louise again felt conquered.  She sat in her rocker and tried to refocus her thoughts by reading another letter.  It was a letter that Buck had given to her on his wedding day.

"My, you're a handsome fellow.  It's a good thing I'm already happily married, or you'd be in danger of me objecting to the union when the time came," Lou said jokingly.

"Ha, ha," came the half-breed's response.

"Faith's ready.  Are you?" asked Lou.

"More than ever.  Louise, before we go, I want you to know how much I love you, Kid, Jimmy, Cody, Rachel, and Teaspoon."

"We already know that silly.  You shouldn't be thinking of us.  It's YOUR wedding day."

"Lou, please.  You don't understand what I'm trying to say.  It's because of all of you that I was able to love Faith.  Heck, Faith was the one who started me on my road to healing.  But you were the ones who kept my heart open towards love."

"Buck, what are you gittin' at?"

"Louise, I want you to have something of mine that I have held near and dear to my heart."  At that Buck pulled out a letter from his pocket and handed it to Lou.  It read:

~~~~~
Dear Family,

My heart is aching with the news of Ike's death.  I loved Ike as did you
all.  I know words cannot describe the pain and loss that each of you are
feeling, for I feel the same.  I wish I could be there with you all in our
time of sorrow.  Although, I don't know much good my presence can bring.
Know that my thoughts and heart are with you always.

Buck, I know that Ike's death has probably been the hardest on you.  I never
had a real family until I met Teaspoon, Lou, and the boys.  Ike was the
first one to welcome me with open arms no questions asked.  Learn from his
example.  Please don't shut out the ones who love you.  Let them help you
heal.  Open your heart to love always, and know that Ike's death was not in
vain.  He died for love.  He would have given his life for anyone he loved,
especially you.  Don't ever betray that love.

Love,
Amanda
~~~~~
 

A tear dropped from Lou's eye remembering the loss of Ike.  Shaking her head and handing the letter back she emotionally said,  "Buck, I can't take this.  Teaspoon gave it to you after reading it to us.  This is yours."

"No Lou, I have healed.  As I mentioned before, all of you helped me keep my heart open to love.  I no longer need this to remind me of Ike and the rest of our makeshift family.  It is already ingrained into my heart.  Lou, I have not betrayed Ike's love, nor will I ever.  If circumstances ever came, I would lay down my life for Faith, just as Ike did for Emily."

"I know you would," Lou solemnly whispered.   "Does Faith realize how lucky she is to have you?"

"No Lou, I'm the lucky one.  Besides, I really don't believe it's luck. It's fate."

"But why give the letter to me?"

"Because, you are my sister."

"That's the only explanation I'm going to get?"

"And because I love you."

Realizing that she was not going to get a better answer, Lou hugged Buck and muttered into his ear, "I will safeguard it always."  There was a slight pause as they continued to embrace.  Finally Lou remarked, "You know, I think Ike's going to be there today."

"He'll be standing right next to me Lou.  I have already felt him.  Now quit talking to me.  Let's get to my wedding."

Lou's heart was in a turmoil of emotions.  Her heart raced with happiness for Buck and Faith.  Her heart saddened at Ike's death.  And her own guilt consumed her for the fight she had with Teresa.  She read the letter again. Two sentences jumped out in front of her like a rattlesnake striking it's
victim: "Ike was the first one to welcome me with open arms no questions asked" and "He would have given his life for anyone he loved, especially you".

Lou was wrong in being angry with Teresa's whereabouts.  Teresa left school and came back to the ranch "with open arms."  She came to help Lou during her pregnancy "no questions asked."  Teresa had sacrificed a lot coming back to the ranch to help out.  She was missing one full term of nursing school.  Even though Teresa did not physically lay down and die for Louise, she had "given her life" for the one she loved -- her sister.

Lou muttered to the letter, "The Spirits must have told Buck that I needed this."  Louise needed Teresa's support through the birth.  Even though Rachel was coming, Teresa knew what it was that could soothe Lou through the birthing process.  In order for Ike's death not to be in vain, nothing would stop her from apologizing and convincing Teresa to stay.

However, Lou learned one thing over the years raising Teresa.  When Teresa was upset, no one could convince her otherwise.  It was a characteristic that both sisters shared.  She would have to wait until Teresa was calm enough to approach her again.

Once again, Lou looked up towards heaven, "Thanks Ike, for everything."
 

Chapter 10

Rocking back and forth, Lou rehearsed in her mind the apology speech she would deliver Teresa.  "CREEAAK," spoke the wooden floor in the hallway.  Broken from her concentration, Lou looked up.  Standing apprehensive at the door was Teresa.  With a puppy dog look on her face, Teresa reminded Lou of when she was younger just about to explain her misdeed.  Time slowed as the two sisters stared at each other.  Lou's mind went blank.  "So much for my rehearsed speech," she thought.

"I'm sorry," both sisters chimed together.  Eyes got big on both companies and faces cracked into smiles.

"Why are you sorry Tessa?  You have done nothing but help me.  I'm the one who made a snap judgement."

"Well, I realized that I left for the barn this morning without telling you.  I didn't even ask you if you needed my help in the house today.  For that, I'm sorry.  I may not agree with you attacking me, but I do understand why you wanted to know where I was."

Feeling regret, Louise humbly stated, "I was wrong to ask you using the tone of voice I did."  Directing her outstretched thumb and fisted hand towards the window, Lou continued, "Not being out there put me in a foul mood.  I took it out on you.  Will you forgive me?"

"Always.  But I'm staying until this baby is born.  I'm not leaving until I know if I have another nephew or a brand new niece."

Feeling relief flood every ounce of her body at that news, Lou softly commanded, "Go get a chair and come talk with me for a bit."  Teresa quickly left and retrieved a chair, which she tucked under one arm.  She grabbed a package in her other hand.  On returning, she set the chair in front of the rocker and the package onto Louise's lap.

"What's this?"

"A present."

"For me?"

"Actually it's for the baby.  I was going to wait to see if it was a boy or a girl, but I couldn't wait any longer."

Lou opened the gift.  Inside was a beautiful rag doll made out of old scrap material from years past.  Softly turning the doll over, Lou inspected it delicately.  The booties were made from the brown shirt she'd given Kid way back when they still rode for the Express.  The panty looms were from an old
lace tablecloth that saw its last day when Hunter accidently spilled grape juice on it.  The doll's dress was the blue calico print that Lou wore so long ago to see Teresa and Jeremiah for the first time in five years.  The apron was a patchwork of Jeremiah and Hunter's old pants.  The hair was a mixture of knots containing Teresa's old dresses.  The button eyes were taken from one of Louise's old riding skirts.  The nose and mouth were carefully stitched with love.  "Ohhh, Tessa......" uttered a touched Lou.

"Now you know why I was going to wait to see if it was a boy or girl.  I originally thought about giving back Miss Annabelle Mumblepuss, but she's so ragged after all these years.  Your new daughter deserves a new doll." Teresa then said sarcastically, "And if you have a boy, then your new son will have a new baby doll."

"I love it," Lou earnestly said as she struggled to get up to hug Teresa.  Teresa caught the clue and before Lou could stand up, she jumped up and gave Louise a hug in the rocker.  As they were clinging to each other a soft "thank you" was transferred.

"When did you make it?" Lou asked as they broke away from the hug.

"At school.  I've been keeping pieces from the scrap pile for a couple of years now.  Even if you didn't have any more children, I wanted to it for you."

"When did you have the time at school?"

"I found time.  Besides, I'm glad I had a project to work on.  You can go crazy if you don't take a break from things every once and a while.  You know, I secretly wish your baby is a girl though.  I'd hate to see a perfectly good doll wasted on a boy."

Louise chuckled.

"You can't hide it from me Louise.  I know you want this baby to be a girl too.  I see it in your eyes anytime someone mentions it.  Your secret is out!"

"You know me too well Tessa.  But I'll be grateful for what the Lord gives me.  My biggest wish is that the baby is healthy."

"You're supposed to say that because you're the mama.  Come on Louise give me a secret that no else knows about."

"Oh, we haven't had a good secret session in a long time."  Lou sat there thinking while Tessa was getting impatient.  "Okay, I have a secret for you."

Louise immediately pulled out a letter and handed it to Teresa to read.  As she unfolded the note, a card fell to the floor.  Picking it up, Teresa read out loud:

~~~~~
Roses are red,
Sometimes they're hid.
I like you a lot.
These ain't from the Kid.**
~~~~~
 

A shocked Teresa appealed, "Another man gave you flowers?  You were sneakin' out on the Kid?  Louise, why didn't you tell me?"

Remaining stoic, Lou said, "Oh there's more.  Wait till you read the letter."

At that Teresa devoured the letter that was in her possession:
 

~~~~~
My Darlin,

Many are the hours I spend dwelling on your beauty.  Many are the sleepless
nights I've laid awake in bed, haunted by the golden music of your voice and
longed for the silky touch of your fingers wrapped in mine.

Seeing his destiny before him, the mighty stag gently approaches the
graceful doe, watching, waiting, to see if she shares the passion burning in
his heart.**
~~~~~
 

Teresa stood up from her chair and paced around the room.  "Louise, I can't believe this!!  Were you with Kid at the time?"

"Yep."

Teresa was partly ranting by this time.  "I can't believe you turned your back on the Kid.  I don't even know if I want to know this secret!"  But like the cat, curiosity got the better of her and she quickly took her seat in front of Louise.  "Okay missy," throwing Lou's words back into her face, "who was it?  Jimmy?  Cody?  It certainly doesn't sound like Buck."

"Who do you think it sounds like?" Louise challenged her sister.

Sitting there, Teresa reread the letter once more.  It hit her like a ton of bricks.  Her face turned green, "Teaspoon," came the mumbled, galling response. "Teaspoon?  Teaspoon?  Eww!  Eww!  Eww!  He's like your father Louise.  What were you thinking?"

Louise couldn't hide it any longer and she broke into side-splitting laughter.

"You're laughing at ME when YOU'RE the one who had an affair with a man whom you claim as your father, while you were courting Kid," chastised Teresa. "I'm assuming that Kid has no idea of this."

"..........nope........," Lou managed to barely squeak out through her laughter.

"STOP LOUISE!  Tell me the whole truth!"

Taking a few deep breaths, Lou managed to control her hysterics.

As serious as she could, but still stifling a few giggles, Lou explained, "Ummm, Jesse gave me the flowers and the note.  Actually it was in reverse order.  He gave me the note first then the flowers."

More confused than before, Teresa questioned, "So you had an affair with Jesse, not Teaspoon?  I don't know which is worse."

Giggling again, Lou said, "I didn't have an affair with anyone.  Let me explain."

Relief washed over Teresa.  She let out a breath that she didn't even realize she was holding.  She sat down and listened with intent.

Lou fondly recalled the crush that Jesse had on her so many years ago.  She had to chuckle at his naivety.  "Jesse had a crush on me.  Infatuated enough, he asked Teaspoon to write a love letter for him.  I just gotten off of a ride when I found the letter.  Kid and I were barely back together, but it didn't sound like Kid, so I went to a higher authority – Rachel.

"Rachel was the one who opened my eyes in revealing that it was one of Teaspoon's masterpieces.  It was obvious that Teaspoon had written the letter for Kid.  As we were talking, Kid rode up.  Rachel encouraged me not to just sit there, but go and do something about it.  I ran towards the barn to surprise Kid.   Jesse saw me and said hello.  I returned his hello without even stopping, ran into the barn, grabbed Kid by surprise, and kissed him.  Jesse witnessed the entire exchange."

"Poor Jesse.  No wonder he sent you that silly poem.  His first attempt didn't work.  He tried to win you over by giving you flowers, " Teresa said as the truth started sinking in.  "Were you mad?"

"I was upset at first, especially with Teaspoon.  But Teaspoon didn't know he was writing a love letter for me.  But it's like I told Jesse, the letter and the flowers made me feel good.  There was no harm done.  As a matter of fact Jesse asked me if Kid knew.  He was afraid he might have to fight the Kid or somethin'."

Teresa chuckled,  "Did you ever tell Kid?"

"I thought this was sharing secrets time."

"Why haven't you ever told him?"

"Well, at first I wanted to save face for Jesse.  I didn't want all the boys harassin' him.  And after Jesse left, Kid was somewhat bitter towards him.  I did not want to fuel his bitterness by telling him.  I knew that a calm Kid would have just laughed it off.  However, with the war, Noah's death, and Rosemary's betrayal, Kid would have flown off the handle.  He was too stressed and distraught.  Over time Kid's wounds healed, and the crush was forgotten.  It's only now that I  realize I haven't told Kid."

"Are you ever going to tell him."

Lou pondered and thought about Teresa's question.  "No, I think that I'll keep that one just between you, me, and Jesse."

"Are you wondering if Jesse's safe now?"

The thought of Jesse brought sadness to Lou's face.  She and Kid knew that he was leading a life of crime.  He hadn't been in the papers recently, but they knew that didn't mean anything.  The law was always out for him.  Lou and Kid had on occasion discussed the possibility of Jesse turning out
different if his brother Frank had left him alone.  They both came to the conclusion that Jesse always found trouble, even without Frank.  However, both felt that if Jesse would have stayed, Teaspoon and Rachel's influence would have kept him on the right side of the tracks.  Knowing Jesse's current situation did not stop Lou and Kid from praying for his safety.  They prayed that Jesse would have a change of heart, and return to the values that Teaspoon and Rachel laid the foundation for.

"Yes," was Lou's simple answer.

Coming out of her reverie, Lou continued, "I'm glad you decided to stay Teresa.  Yes, I'm glad that Rachel's coming, but I need you here with me too."

"Thanks Louise.  I thought that maybe you wouldn't need me if Rachel came."

"You're my sister.  I'll always need my sister."

**Author's note: The letter and poem in this chapter are copyrighted by
Ogiens/Kane Productions.   They are not my own material.  They are taken
from the episode, "A Tiger's Tale."