Damn. That breed was following the girl around like a lovesick puppy. He knew he was going to have to let things cool off before he managed to get what he wanted. Even the kid had been stashed safely with a house full of people. He could kill them all to get to Cross’s kid, but it just took to much energy to bother. He decided he’d set up a false trail to make Cross and his
cohorts think he’d left town. As soon as the breed let his guard down, either the brat or the woman was his. He was hoping for the woman. She’d looked awful pretty in that pink dress today. He’d love to make the home wrecker watch him take his woman. That would just be the cherry on top. His revenge was going to be fun.

"Rachel? Why aren’t you Grandma Rachel when you’re married to Grandpa Teaspoon?"

"Because I’m too young to be a Grandma, Noah."

"Then why’d you marry Grandpa Teaspoon? He’s old." Noah dragged out the o sound on old. "Even his whiskers are white."

"I married him because I loved him, because he treated me nice, and mostly because he’s funny."

"So if my Pa isn’t funny Miss Lambert won’t marry him, huh?" Rachel considered the little boy for a moment.

"Would you like that Noah?"

"Would I like it if Pa was funny, or would I like it if he married Miss Lambert?"

"Both."

"Yeah…yeah."

"Why would you want him to marry Miss Lambert?"

"She’s nice to me, and she’s real pretty, and she’s been makin’ my Pa smile."

"Noah." Rachel started carefully. "Does your Pa not smile much?"

"He smiles at me, and you and stuff…but when he smiles at her… he’s… he’s… he’s like this." He hopped into Rachel’s lap, tilted his head, and began making eyes at her. Her laughter spurred him on, and he leapt from her lap. "And he does this." He climbed up in the chair next to her, and began pulling at the leg of his pants and squirming as if he where in pain. "I think she makes him have to pee, but he seems to like it." He paused thoughtfully. "Adults are weird." 

Rachel put her hand over her mouth, trying to staunch the increasing flow of chuckles pouring out of her. So, their Buck really had it bad. She just hoped the poor boy wouldn’t burst from the effects of being in the same house with Kayla for a few days. Of course they were all staying there in a circle the
wagons kind of bid for safety, but Buck wasn’t likely to notice that too much. It didn’t matter that Kid and Lou’s house was a huge sprawling structure. It wouldn’t be big enough. She knew her boys, and something had to give.

Kid and Teaspoon stalked into the Marshall’s office, irate at spending another day on what was swiftly becoming a useless pursuit. Kid was aiming straight for the coffee, when a strange noise put him on alert. Now that he was paying attention, he noticed that Barnett wasn’t loafing with his feet propped up on Kid’s desk, as was his usual habit. "Barnett?" He called, eyeing Teaspoon
who as always was a step ahead, gun drawn and ready. A groan sounded from one of the cells. Kid ran toward the noise. Barnett was curled up in a ball. He was covered with bruises and scratches galore. He’d been roughed up something fierce. Then something else snagged his attention. On the floor, in the corner of the cell, was a knife. Not just a run of the mill knife, but
one that was covered tip to hilt in dried blood. "Barnett! What happened?" Kid scrambled to get the keys to release the injured deputy. 

"He came back." Barnett wheezed. "I tried to arrest him, but he was just so fast. I think that’s the knife he killed the woman with. He said it was a gift for
Buck. He said he’s done here, and you wouldn’t find’im."

"Barnett? Did he cut you?"

"Naw, he just beat the tar outta me. I thank I need the Doc."

"I’ll go get him," Teaspoon offered.

Kid shook his head, lifting Barnett up into the bunk of the cell. This mess was just getting stranger and stranger. Nothing added up. As Kid waited for Teaspoon to make it in with the doctor, he mentally weighed the pieces of the puzzle in his head. He just didn’t have all the pieces, but he was determined to find them.

"Why don’t I take you to dinner to celebrate your first day?" 

Bone weary, Kayla dropped into the desk next to Buck’s. "I just don’t know, Buck. I’m so tired, aren’t you? You didn’t sleep last night either."

"I know I didn’t, but I thought you did."

"What difference does it make if I did when you didn’t?"

"But you didn’t."

"What the hell are we talking about, again? I’m lost." She grated irritably. Buck chuckled.

"Somebody’s cranky."

"Damn right," she muttered. "What are you grinning at?"

"You’re cute when you’re cranky." She blushed hotly.

"Well you’re cute all the time." Kayla smirked, victorious, leaning her head on Buck’s shoulder. It was Buck’s turn to blush. He took her hand from where it rested on the lid of the desk. He brought her hand up to his lips, then kissed her palm. She smelled of lavender and chalk dust. As far as he was concerned the two scents were made to go together. He placed her hand palm down on the side of is face. He loved the way her skin felt, the way each slender digit tapered to a perfectly manicured fingernail. Her hands were a work of art to him. They were so soft, and delicate.

She began stroking his cheek with her thumb. "You’re such a sweet sweet man, Buck Cross." He didn’t answer. He couldn’t, he was afraid his voice would betray the wealth of feeling churning heavily inside of him. He had never felt so strongly for any woman in his life, not even Camille. He couldn’t understand how he survived without Kayla all those years, and he’d only
known her for a day.

Kayla absolutely could not believe that she was sitting next to the most perfect creature she’d
ever laid eyes on. The most extraordinary thing was that he seemed to like her too. She, like any
other little girl, had dreamed up a fairy tale prince charming that was all made up of whimsy and
unattainable purity of spirit. How could she have known that her fantasy existed? How could he
really be flesh and blood, and touching her? Every time Buck touched her he left a hot tingling
trail that left her wishing for more of him. And the way he looked at her made her feel like she
was the only person in the world that existed for him. She stared at him dreamily, remembering
the way he kissed her. It made her feel…cherished. This was happening much too fast, and she
was well aware of that fact, but nothing seemed to matter all that much when she was close to
him.

Kid was trying to put things together. It didn’t matter how he tried to fit the pieces together, they
just never fit. He didn’t like jigsaw puzzles in the first place, and this was a nightmare, literally and
figuratively. He and Teaspoon had spent the last three hours trying to glean some kind of insight
into the mind of this killer.

"Well, son, look at it this way. Maybe we ain’t been able to figure nothin’ out cuz we ain’t
cold-blooded killers." Teaspoon squinted, hooking his thumbs under his suspenders, and lacing
his fingers together, tilting back the chair he sat in.

"Too bad we can’t think like one just this once though," Kid sighed. Teaspoon’s eyes widened.
"Kid. Kid, I think I got somethin’ here." He intoned, pointing to his head. "All right, think about it.
What do you do when the kitchen gets too hot, and yer belly’s a growlin’?"

"Teaspoon, I really don’t see…" Something clicked in Kid’s head. "You wait around by the
door, and when it cools off you go in after what you want." Teaspoon nodded sagely. "He’s still
here, Kid. We just gotta find’im."

"What does all this have to do with Buck though?"

"Well I already done some brainwork today, Kid. It’s yer turn." Teaspoon winked at the younger
man.

"You don’t have to help me with this, you know." Buck eyed Kayla wearily. "I planned to do it
myself."

Kayla continued scrubbing at the reddened porch. "It’s fine, Buck."

"You sure? You look a little green."

"I just…I just keep remembering…I’ve never seen so much blood before."

"Why don’t you go on in, and get some things for Noah. I have no idea how long we’re all going
to be cooped up together, and he might need extra toys."

"I told you it’s fine. I can do this."

"Kayla, please don’t fight me on this. You’re white as a sheet, and I know that no woman
relishes cleaning blood off of a porch after a long day at work."

"Fine."

"Thank you, Kay." She quirked her head to the side, staring as he scrubbed heedless of her
scrutiny. He’d called her Kay. What did that mean? She wasn’t going to ask though; he might
take it that she didn’t like it. She did, very much in fact. From him, the shortening of her name
sounded like an endearment. Still wondering about the implications of Buck’s simple wording,
Kayla went inside to pick out some clothes and toys for Noah.

He caught her off guard. One moment she was trying to decide between two bedtime story
books, and the next a strong pair of arms were wrapped securely around her waist. Her reaction
was instant. Heat poured into her, pooling low in her belly. She reached behind her, tangling her
hand in his hair. "I was starting to miss you." He murmured in her ear. He pursued his words with
his lips, kissing the lobe of her ear, and forging a trail down the side of her neck. Kayla felt like
she was going to come out of her skin, or better yet, her dress. Buck’s gentle nipping at her neck
was a sensation so good it was almost painful. She bent into him. "Kayla," he breathed, turning
her. She found herself crushed into him, wrapped immobile in his embrace, her body straining
against his. It wasn’t that she was fighting to get away, but closer to him. Skin to skin just didn’t
seem close enough, and she had the irritating awareness that clothe separated them. Her nimble
fingers dug into his arms, trying to pull them tighter. Buck groaned, lowering his head to taste her
mouth. The kiss they shared was afire with enough intensity to shatter their tenuous grasp on
reality. The fact that they were expected soon at Kid’s for dinner, that they had only known each
other for two days, that the physical aspect of their relationship was going way too far, way too
fast, dissolved in mindless oblivion. Heedless of all things unrelated to one another, they touched,
held, tasted, and became slaves to the art of passion. They were enchanted, and the spell, they
hoped, would never break. Kayla was enveloped in so many different impressions and textures.
She was drowning happily in the taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of his shirt against what
little skin was exposed, the delight of having both of Buck’s large hands locked onto hers, his hair
grazing her temples. With a start she realized that she was flat on her back, hands above her
head, sprawled across the tiny bed of a six-year old.

Buck jolted to his senses when Kayla stiffened beneath him. She was beneath him. How had that
happened? When had that happened? Her wide gray eyes bored into him. What must she think
of him? Immediately, Buck rolled off of her, and was back on his feet. He backed up several
steps, running his hands through his hair. "Kay, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I…I
never…I’m so sorry." His words came out in gasps. His heart rate had yet to slow from prior
exertions. "I would never hurt you Kay. You know that, right?"

Kayla was still reeling from the loss of him. She’d gone cold the moment his body left hers. It
was so wrong to have a hunger so powerful for someone she’d just met, but heaven help her, she
wanted him. She shocked herself with the wanton thought. She supposed it didn’t matter, Buck
probably thought she was some kind of trollop by now.

"What?" Her voice was shaky. Buck was staring intensely at her with something akin to fear on
his face. His visage was steadily draining of color. In fact, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. "No,"
he breathed. "I carry my father’s evil."

"Has anyone seen Buck?" Kayla’s frantic cry reverberated through the house. Rachel rushed to
her side upon seeing the state she was in. "No, I haven’t seen him since this morning, honey.
What’s the matter?" She led Kayla toward a chair that Lou had waiting. Kayla’s head was
spinning. After their odd incident, Buck had taken off on foot, and left the buckboard for Kayla.
She hoped he would head to Kid’s, but luck wasn’t with her. Rachel had one of her hands, and
Lou took the other as soon as she sat. Flanked on both sided by two worried matrons, Kayla
promptly burst into tears. She was so angry with herself for not holding them off long enough to
weep in peace in her room. With the anger, the tears became more demanding. Kayla started
taking those shuddery gasps she had the indignity of suffering when she was trying too hard to
stop. Lou and Rachel stole worried glances at one another. "Just calm down." Rachel cooed,
rubbing her back. "Soon as you calm down, you can tell us what’s wrong." It wasn’t that Lou
didn’t appreciate Rachel’s tack, but she was worried for Buck’s safety with the way Kayla
rushed in frantically calling for him. "Is Buck okay?" The diminutive woman demanded. Kayla
shrugged helplessly. "He…he…just…ran o-o-off." She hated it when she couldn’t even speak
clearly. She hated crying. She hated it that she couldn’t even tell these women what had
happened. Maybe they could shed some light on the issue. She started forcing deep breaths. As
soon as she was without a shudder for a few seconds, she lurched into her story telling.

Buck was pacing the length of Kid’s barn, berating himself for his weakness. The three mile run
he’d taken to get there had done nothing to calm his nerves. He was absolutely appalled at
himself for what he’d done. The horror in Kayla’s eyes kept constant companion to him as he
raged at the idea that the faceless man that spawned him had left some kind of seed planted in
him to carry on some sick family custom. He was wrapped in his despondent shroud when the
sound of Noah’s voice crowded into his head. He stepped a few stalls over, only to see his son
quietly cooing to his pregnant mare. When the boy had learned that their stay at Uncle Kid’s
would be prolonged, he’d insisted that Sugar stay with them. At least he could take solace in the
fact that his cursed blood did not run through the veins of his innocent child. Upon noticing his
father, Noah shrieked, "Pa! What’s wrong?" The boy launched himself at his father, hugging his
legs. The worry in his son’s voice alerted Buck to the fact that tears were running freely down his
face.

"What’s wrong?" The boy insisted. The fact that he had never seen his father cry intermingled
with the assertion that the man could fix anything, left Noah shaking.

Buck grabbed Noah under the arms, and hauled him up to his chest where he squeezed him for
all he was worth. The boy was his only solace. Once he had his voice under enough control to be
intelligible he said. "Son, I almost hurt Kayla real bad today. I need some time to myself. Okay?"
The raw sound to his voice matched his emotional state perfectly. He set Noah on his feet, and
Buck watched as a host of questions creased Noah’s youthful face. For once being completely
obedient, Noah left his curiosity unquenched and trotted off at full speed to the main house.

The three women sat in a thick silence as Kayla digested what she’d been told. Kayla just
couldn’t seem to fathom it. Buck was the product of rape. No wonder he reacted the way he
did. At Buck’s house, when she suddenly became aware of what she was doing, and stopped
kissing him back, he probably jumped to crazy conclusions about her not wanting him. Poor,
sweet, man. Kayla dropped her head into her hands. He had preferred to take leave of her and
walk home than take any chance of hurting her. She was about to ask where to look for him
when Noah erupted through the door. At first glance of Kayla, he ran to her, looking for wounds,
or something to explain his father’s words.

"I don’t understand." He looked at her, baffled. "How did my Pa hurt you?" Instantaneously alert,
Kayla looked closely at him. "Where did you hear I was hurt?"

"My Pa said he almost hurt you real bad. He was crying." Noah spoke the word crying, as if it
were some mystical thing entirely new to him.

"Noah, honey you need to tell me where your Pa is. It’s very important."

"The barn, but where’s your booboo?"
 

Chapter 8

Kayla raced to the barn. She had to give Buck credit. That’s the last place she would have ever
looked for him. She found him on the ground, his head hanging over his crossed legs. So deep
into rebuking himself that he didn’t hear her enter, Buck started when a tiny hand dropped lightly
onto his shoulder. "What are you doing here. You need to be as far from me as possible. Kayla,
I can’t control myself when I’m with you. You don’t understand what you’re dealing with."

"I understand perfectly what I’m dealing with. I’m dealing with a kind, generous, giving man who
just so happens to have crazy notions running through his head that I intend to put to rest."

"No, Kayla. I almost…I…your eyes…you were scared."

"Absolutely, I was scared." Kayla sat, legs crossed, on the ground across from him. They sat
knees to knees. "I was scared of what I was becoming. I was scared you might think me a
woman of easy virtue. I was scared about the speed and the power of which I’m falling for you.
Buck, I know you would never hurt me, even if you don’t."

"You don’t understand, you can’t. I’m…I’m a natural born predator."

"That’s nonsense." She stated, her schoolteacher tone strongly evident.

"But you don’t know what I’m talking about." Buck stated emphatically, trying to explain without
having to say the awful words.

"I do know. Lou and Rachel told me. Buck what you’re thinking is ridiculous. As soon as you felt
some change on my part, you were off of me and across the room in an instant. Those are not the
actions of a rapist."

"But I didn’t want to stop."

"Well, neither did I." Buck’s eyes finally lifted to meet hers. "You didn’t?"

"No, I didn’t, but luckily you were the mature responsible adult between us."

"I was just so scared, Kay. I wouldn’t ever want you to be hurt like that, and I would never want
to be the kind of man that would hurt another human being like that." Buried memories rose up to
stab her square in the chest. She knew when a man intended to use force. She knew the hard
glint in his eye when he settled upon his intent. She knew what it was to be held down. She also
knew that Buck didn’t have it in him to be a man like that.

"Well, rest assured that you aren’t that kind of man." Kayla reached out to run a finger down his
cheek. His face was hot from crying. "I trust you, Buck. You should too." She placed a light kiss
on his forehead, then his nose.

"What else did Rachel and Lou tell you?"

"Today, nothing."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" He raised a brow, vaguely alarmed. He never knew what
Noah was going to give away. He hoped Rachel and Lou had the sense to keep mum about
some of the idiotic stunts he had pulled in the past.

"Hmm?" Kayla made a pretense of thinking hard. She tapped her index finger on her chin, then
looked him in the eye. She had a mischievous glint in her gray eyes. "So, what’s this I hear about
you snoring?"

Buck had no idea how she could take all of the pain and stress out of a situation so easily. She
was like a salve for all of his hurts. Something almost intangible skittered through Buck’s mind.
Kay, his Kay, made him whole. Without even realizing it, he’d spent his whole life like a puzzle
without that one last piece. For him, Kay was that piece. He guessed when he’d come to think of
her as Kay instead of Miss Lambert, or Kayla that she had somehow been cemented in his mind
as his own. He answered her jibe. "So I snore, you think that’ll be a problem?" Kayla laughed,
"Why should it…" Her smile faded, as the implications of what he was saying hit her.

"What are you saying?" She eyed him warily, as she stood.

Standing with her, he reached for her, pulling her close so that he could hold on to her. He
cupped her shoulders with his hands. "I feel like we’re going somewhere. That’s the only way I
can explain it. I know we just met two days ago, and that’s too early to call it love or to get
married, but I feel something strong closing in. I know it’s a terrible, scary, crazy time, but I
wanted to know where I stand. I feel like an idiot for feeling the way I do, when I don’t even
really know you, but I do."

"I’ve never in my life had a reaction to any man even remotely close to the one I’ve had to you. I
can’t even think straight when you’re close to me. It’s like my mind goes purely on instinct. I just
want to get closer to you when I’m close to you, and when I’m not I can’t think of anything but
being able to see you again. Does that tell you where you stand?"

"Next to you?"

"Yes."

"That’s all I needed to know." He pulled her in for a tight hug. I guess we better go inside, and
tell them the storm’s passed."

"I guess." Buck didn’t bother to take his arms from around her. He didn’t bother to move. "You
really weren’t scared of me?"

"No." He released her reluctantly, and settles for her hand as they walked up to the house.

Kayla threw yet another rough draft letter into the trash. She wanted to share the news of her
new life with her parents, but she didn’t want to frighten them with news of murder and mayhem.
She most definitely did not want to mention the fact that she was living with her beau, no matter if
it wasn’t alone or even in his home. She settled on telling them about her new job, her new
friends with whom she was staying, and the wonderful new man in her life. She went into great
detail about the latter. She told all about Noah, and how funny he was. In all, she had one page
of new job information, one page of new friend information, two and a half pages of Noah
stories, and four pages of nothing but Buck, Buck, Buck. She just hoped her mother would take
her word on what kind of man Buck was, and not common opinion.

Striking Bear was tired of staying low. He wanted to be done with the half-breed, and his
woman. He’d decided not to bother with the child. All he could do with a child was kill it, but the
woman he could get creative with. Just off the top of his head, he could think of over a hundred
ways to make her scream, and he wanted Cross to watch him while he tried every last one. He
just had to be patient enough to wait it out. Eventually one day, a day would come when Cross
couldn’t follow his woman to school. On that one day, he would teach the teacher and her man a
lesson or two.

The weeks were passing so quickly. Kayla never tired of Buck’s company, but she was getting
tired of having a constant baby sitter no matter where she went. If Buck had to work, then either
Teaspoon or Kid was always with her. A few days before, Teaspoon had come to Buck with
rumors of a drunken Indian a few towns away bragging about killing a white woman. He had
apparently been so imposing a figure that no one even tried to apprehend him. That night Buck
had followed her to the outhouse. He literally wouldn’t leave her alone for anything, and that part
of the whole mess was proving very tiresome. She was actually missing Buck and Noah a bit.
Even though Noah was back in school, and she saw both of them daily, there was just something
nice about sharing a house with someone. Buck and Noah had moved back into their house as
soon as he painted the porch. She assumed that decision had something to do with Lou having
the misfortune of finding them half crazed with lust wrecking the nice organization of her pantry.
She smiled at the thought. Lou had insisted that she stay after Buck left. She was adamant that
the boarding house was no place for Kayla to be, and that was that. Kayla didn’t mind at all. She
loved staying with friends, and having nightly heart to heart talks with Lou. They had grown into
very close friends. She was so happy to know that she wasn’t the only woman in the world
whose body went crazy as soon as her man was in the room. Lou had even divulged some
intimate details thinking that Kayla and Buck’s relationship had gone farther than it had. Lou had
figured out the err in her assumption as soon as she spied the red glow on Kayla’s face. Kayla
had been thinking more and more about that lately. While she wanted to remain pure for the night
of her wedding, but she wanted Buck so badly that every time they kissed it got harder and
harder to separate. Now, after two months of being with Buck, she knew beyond any doubt that
she loved him. She had yet to tell him, but soon she would. She wouldn’t be able to hold on to
the secret much longer anyway. Every time she saw him she wanted to blurt out, "I love you!"

"Are you okay ma’am?" Barnett, her sitter for the day queried. "You look awful flushed."

"I’m fine thank you. It’s uh…it’s warm in here." Kayla continued to stare blankly at her ungraded
papers. She couldn’t look the man in the eye. She knew it was impossible, but she felt like
maybe he had known what she was thinking about. Her thoughts turned to her mother. She was
officially worried. She received letters almost daily from her father, but she didn’t hear anything
from her mother. Her father had alluded to her mother’s shock at hearing of her Indian beau. She
just wished she could introduce Buck to her parents. That would ease their minds. The man was
so endearing he would have her parents wrapped around his little finger in a matter of minutes.
With a grunt, Kayla focused on her paper grading. The sooner she was done, the sooner she
could see Buck.

Mrs. Martha Lambert fidgeted with her purse. He was late. He was such a reliable young man.
How could he be late to discuss something so important? She looked once more around the café
looking for an attractive young man in a smart suit. Ben Casey always looked so dapper. She
had no idea why her daughter kept turning him down for marriage. She wanted nothing, but her
daughter’s happiness. That happiness was in dire jeopardy now. Some heathen had cast some
kind of hex or magic or something on her. She wasn’t thinking straight, Martha was sure of it.
She was hoping that Ben would be willing to go fetch her daughter from the clutches of that
wretch before irreparable damage was done. She was counting on her only child to come to her
senses as soon as she laid eyes on handsome Ben Casey. Where was that boy anyway?

Kayla, Buck, and Noah sat huddled together in Buck’s barn. Tears streamed down Kayla’s face
as she watched the foal take her first few wobbly steps. Kayla rested her head on Buck’s
shoulder. Absently, he went to pat her knee, but being that Noah was sitting in her lap, he patted
Noah’s instead. Noah rolled his eyes at the adults as they shared a conspiratorial grin. Sugar
began gently nudging her offspring on. Noah squirmed around in Kayla’s lap. "See how nice it is
to get to be a Mommy?" Kayla snorted, "Noah, you’re about as subtle as a ballet dancing
mountain lion!" Buck put his arm around her, and whispered in her ear, "He’s got a point though,
doesn’t he." Kayla was speechless. Maybe this meant that soon she’d get a proposal. Everyone
in town had been asking her if she had any news for them. Even the shopkeeper Mr. Thompkins
had asked her yesterday if she wanted to look at a catalogue full of wedding dress patterns.
Kayla decided to play coy. She lifted an eyebrow, and slipped on the most innocent expression
she could muster. "Does he?" Buck dug his fingers lightly into her ribs. He was trying to tickle
her, but her undergarment that he’d dubbed "damn corset" during many a passionate episode,
impeded his intent. She owed her virtue to the outright durability and inconvenience of the
garment. When she lost her grip on things it didn’t lose its grip on her.

Ben couldn’t believe he was almost to Rock Creek. The day Kayla’s first letter home had
arrived in the mail, he had run into Mrs. Lambert. It wasn’t surprising that he would run into her
being that he had walked up and down her street for over two hours waiting to hear anything
about Kayla. It was just lucky that a letter had arrived that fateful day. Mrs. Lambert had been
incoherent with upset. She babbled on about Kayla and some Indian trying to destroy her. That
day they had made plans to meet at a local café to discuss matters when she was feeling more up
to talking, but Ben had all the information he needed. He took the one bit of useful data he’d
gleaned from Mrs. Lambert, and ran with it, literally. He took the name Rock Creek, and bought
the first train ticket there. Soon he’d have Kayla back. He’d beat the silly notion of being a
professional woman out of her head if he had to, and he’d bring her home to be his wife. They
were meant to be together. He would see to it that she be made to understand that. Once he had
almost managed to persuade her. If he hadn’t heard her parents approaching the door, he would
have made her his, and she would have had no other choice but to be his bride. His day would
come though. He was sure of it.

Kayla pushed thick chunks of jet-black hair from Noah’s forehead. He had been sleeping deeply
before she finished the first bedtime story. She guessed that watching his beloved Sugar give birth
was tiring for him. He looked so angelic when he slept. He would when he was awake too if it
weren’t for all of the interesting things that were constantly pouring out of his mouth, she mused.
She kissed him on the nose, blew out his lamp, and tiptoed down the hall to his awaiting father.

Buck sat on the couch mulling things over in his head. She would say yes, wouldn’t she? He
reached into his pocket where he had shoved the ring when Noah came in yelling about Sugar’s
condition. His son had the worst timing. Well, actually it was Sugar that had the bad timing. If it
hadn’t been for that incident he would have his answer already. Kayla floated into the room as if
sitting on a cloud. "I’ve never seen anything so beautiful before in my life." She murmured, sitting
down next to him. "I have." Buck winked at her. She snuggled into his side.

"Do you want to do that someday?" Buck asked, tentatively trying to steer the conversation in a
convenient direction.

"Give birth to a horse? No."

"You know what I mean."

"Oh." She drew it out on a long breath, keeping her eyes wide like that of a surprised child. "You
mean have a baby? Hell, no." Buck was a little taken aback. He couldn’t tell if she was joking or
not.

"You just said it was beautiful."

"It was. And painful, as well I’m sure." Still unsure how to take her, Buck asked, "Do you think
the pain would be worth it?" She considered him for a moment. He looked ruffled. "Well, if it
were to be a child like Noah, absolutely, but I wouldn’t be that lucky. I’d probably end up with
an ugly stupid one with no sense of humor." Buck was no longer in the process of getting angry.
He was irate. "We would not!" He practically shouted. "We?" She quirked her head to the side
staring at him.

Flustered, Buck looked at her. "You just did that on purpose didn’t you?"

A slow smile lit up her face. "Okay, fine. You got me. You don’t have to gloat." He pouted.

"So I’ll stop." She ran her hand across his chest, making sure to rake her nails over the cloth that
covered his nipples. He groaned, the exact response she was after. She leaned in for a kiss.
Buck pushed her away. "I need to talk to you about something important." Worry set in instantly.
"What’s wrong, Buck?"

"There’s nothing wrong. I wanted to tell you something." Horror exploded over her features.
"You aren’t breaking things off are you?" Buck heaved a dramatic sigh, then clapped his hand
over her mouth. "No, what would make you ask such a ridiculous question?" She glared down
pointedly at his hand. "Sorry." He muttered, taking his hand from her mouth. "I’m too happy. I’m
afraid something will happen because I’m just too happy. Things are too good. I feel like it’s all
going to come crashing down on top of me."

"I don’t think what I have to say will upset you. At least I hope it doesn’t. Will you let me say it
without interruptions?" She nodded. "I have never met a woman before that was willing to love
me for me. I’ve never met a woman that I could feel so free with. I know I can say whatever
pops into my head, and you won’t think badly of me for it. I need you Kay. I…what I’m trying
to say is that I love you." The words came out in a rush, and Buck was unable to continue his
thoughts for the fact that Kayla was showering his face and neck with kisses. "Kay,
Kay…there’s more." He separated himself from her, and went onto one knee. "Kayla Lambert,
will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?" He slipped a tiny gold ring complete with
an emerald, out of a red satin jeweler’s pouch. His eyes sought out her reaction.

Kayla couldn’t believe what she had heard. She was certain her ears deceived her. But he was
on one knee, and there was a beautiful ring in his hand. With tears rolling down her cheeks, and
her hands shaking, Kayla pulled Buck off the floor by his collar. She caught his face in her hands,
and kissed him thoroughly. "Yes! Yes!" She gasped. Somehow, Buck managed to slip the ring
on her finger. How, though was beyond him. All he was aware of was Kayla whispering words
of love into his ear as he fell atop her on the wooden couch. Her nails were grazing his scalp as
she ran her fingers through his hair, and it just felt so good. Buck knew he should take his weight
off of her, because the hardness of the couch below her, and the pressure of his body above her,
might bring her discomfort. He also knew that he needed to stop now before it got too difficult
to. He couldn’t.
 

Chapter 9

Ben made his way from the train platform to the Marshall’s office. Surely someone there would
have heard of Kayla Lambert. He walked into the office and was met by a tall, lanky man who
looked as if he were allergic to the concept of cleanliness. "Hello there, sir. My name is Ben
Casey, and I’m looking for a lovely lady by the name of Kayla Lambert."

"Name’s Barnett." Came a lazy drawl. "What’s Kayla to you?"

"She’s to be my wife."

"Buck won’t like that."

"What, sir are you talking about."

"Nuthin’."

"If you have any information concerning my fiancee, I would like you to give it to me."

"I can’t."

"And why is that?"

"Kid’n Teaspoon‘ll kill me."

"Could you put that in English please?"

"Why don’t you go talk to Buck?" Barnett figured Buck would take care of this fiancee business.
He gave the man directions to Buck’s house. He figured Buck would be happy with the way he
had handled things.

Ben was fuming. Who the hell was this Buck person? Did this have anything to do with the Indian
Mrs. Lambert was going on about? Buck sounded like a fairly normal name. Maybe he was
some rancher that had taken a shine to Kayla. Maybe he was another deputy that had something
to do with what Martha was saying about someone trying to destroy Kayla. Whoever he was,
Ben was about to find out exactly what he had to do with Kayla. He also planned to make sure
that this man understood that Kayla was to be his wife, no matter what.

Kayla had never felt so good in her entire life. Something felt so right. It was as if something
integral had been missing from her life until today. She felt full; contented to the point that it
boggled the imagination. Somehow, she and Buck had ended up on the floor. She smiled up at
Buck as he slowly and deliberately pulled out her hairpins one by one. When her hair was finally
free, he ran his fingers through the lush, silken tresses. He pulled his fingers from her hair, ran
them down her cheek, over her lips. On impulse, she sucked one of his fingers into her mouth.
His sharp intake of breath told her that her impulses were a good thing. She let go of his finger,
and he drew the wet digit slowly down her throat. As he came to the first button on her blouse,
he looked into her eyes. Heavily lidded, slate pools beckoned him further. He opened the button,
and went on to the next. Before she knew it, her shirt was rolled into a ball and her head was
resting on it. Buck was cursing her corset again. The only flesh he could manage to touch and
kiss was that of her shoulders, and that which gave him a hint of the generous, soft, breasts that
were trapped beneath canvas and whalebone. Kayla thought she might very well go insane with
want as he changed his attentions from her chest to her legs. She’d been resting on her back
while he was on his side leaning over her. Now, he kneed her legs apart, took a handful of her
skirts, and pulled them up. The feeling of cool air hitting her stocking clad legs was exhilarating
beyond words. Reaching down, he traced her leg from ankle to hip. This time he was cursing her
bloomers. "Why so damned many clothes?" He muttered. "To protect a girl from overanxious
fiancees." Kayla giggled, running a finger over his jaw. His grin took on a devilish mien. "Oh
really?" He asked as he hooked his thumb under the top of her left stocking. Her stocking came
off in one swift motion, and as soon as her leg was free of the pesky fabric, Buck stroked the
smooth contours of her leg. He made the same quick work of the right stocking, and soon he
was shoving up the hem of her bloomers. She had never known anything so delectable as the feel
of rough warm hands running along the inner portion of her thigh.

Buck was on fire. Every time he touched her it just made him hungrier to get closer to more of
her. He was touched that she trusted him so implicitly. She let him touch her and undress her
secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t ever hurt her, even when he wasn’t so sure about that.
She seemed to automatically know just where to touch him, and just how to kiss him to make
him frantic with want. He was in the process of nibbling on her ear lobe when he felt her pulling at
the buttons on his shirt. As she opened each button, she followed the path of exposed skin with
feathery kisses. He could think of nothing better than having Kayla beneath him. She felt so good
to him, with her hips snugly pressed against him, with her arms around him, and her legs
straddling his hips was almost enough to push him over the edge. He wanted to be buried to the
hilt in her flesh. He had never wanted anything so desperately in his life. He moved his hand
steadily up her thigh. He was almost where he wanted to be when a flicker of something
disturbing shone in Kayla’s eyes. Instantly, he pulled his hand away.

In one graceful movement, he had pulled her from the floor, and helped her to the couch.
Concern was obvious on his face. Kayla wanted to kick herself. She had been so close to having
her burning need met when she had a flash of Ben’s face above her. She remembered how foul
his breath had been that night, breathing heavily in her face. He had torn her blouse open, and
bruised her body trying to pull open her corset. She remembered the sickening feeling of his
hands grappling to pull down her bloomers, and his fingers digging into the tender flesh of her
breasts. But that was all in the past. Now as she looked at Buck who was peering at her with a
worried countenance, she shoved the nightmare images aside. She would never be forced to look
at Ben Casey’s face again. Buck had both of her hands in his. "Are you going to tell me what’s
wrong?"

"Nothing… I just had a bad moment."

"Did you think I was going to hurt you?"

"Of course not! I know you wouldn’t hurt me, that’s one of the reasons I love you, you big oaf!"

"What was that Kayla? What makes a bad moment?"

"I think I need to go check on Noah." She made a move to leave, but Buck tightened his grip on
her hands. "Don’t you dare change the subject." Just as Buck was ready to dig out whatever
splinter she had buried, a knock sounded at the door.

"We aren’t finished here." He wagged his finger at her sternly. "We’ll finish this later." Buck made
his way to the door through a path of scattered toys. He opened the door only to find a complete
stranger standing at the door. "What can I do for you?" He asked the strange man. "Hello, my
name is Ben Casey. I’m looking for my fiancee, a Miss Kayla Lambert, and the gentleman at the
Marshall’s office directed me here." Buck couldn’t hear anything but the reverberation of the
word fiancee partnered with Kayla’s name. He stared open mouthed at the man.

At the sound of Ben’s voice, Kayla drew in a sharp breath. He followed her. How had he found
her? Would her parents have told him where she was? He father had written of his wandering
their street at all hours, and asking about her constantly. Perhaps they told him where she was
thinking it wouldn’t be a bother for her, and it would get him out of their hair. She pulled her skirt
down over her bare legs. Her hands were shaking. She searched the floor for her shirt. Finding it
in a wad beneath the couch, she donned it as quickly as possible, and rushed to Buck’s side.
What must he think?

"You are incorrect, Mr. Casey." She intoned briskly, trying to cover her fear. "This is my fiancee,
Buck Cross." Absently she mused at how good that sounded. "What are you doing here, Ben?"

Buck was glued to the spot. Who was this man, and why was he claiming Kayla as his own. He
glanced at Kayla, and became alarmed. Her complexion, normally rosy and healthy, was waxy
and ashen. He took a firm hold on her elbow, trying to hold her, but she was shaking so badly
that he couldn’t get a good grip on her. He snaked his arm around her waist. Whoever this man
was Kayla was terrified of him. He was proud of her though. She was standing her ground like
the lioness he knew her to be.

"Kayla, what the hell are you doing here? Have you lost your mind?"

"It’s funny, Ben I was just wondering the same thing about you."

"You can’t be engaged to anyone but me. Don’t let some silly girlish whim destroy what he could
have together."

"Love is not a silly girlish whim, we don’t have anything together, and I thought I made it quite
clear when I left that I want nothing to do with you. Now leave!"

"You’re being silly. Once we’re back in New York and we’re married you’ll understand that you
can’t make crazy decisions without the help of those who love you, and are better equipped to
make important choices for you. Now pull yourself together, and let’s go. I want nothing more to
do with this pedestrian little town." Ben snapped his fingers at her as if she were a dog who
should obey without question.

Ben was furious. First the woman dragged him across the country to a pathetic back wood little
town, and then she insults him in front of some practically bare chested heathen, she’s obviously
trying to use to bait him. He was so angry he couldn’t even look at her. He closed his eyes, took
a deep breath, and went to try to talk some sense into her. "Kayla, Darling." He began. Then he
got a really good look at her. Her hair was a wild mass of tangles, running loose down her
shoulders. He blouse was buttoned with the first button in the second buttonhole. Her mouth was
unnaturally red and full, and bare feet peeked out from underneath her skirts. "Kayla!" Ben
screeched. "What have you done with this savage?" He rushed through the threshold, and
grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. Buck was on him in an instant. He physically threw Ben
out of the door, following him with hard intent written across his dark face. "Don’t you ever put
your hands on her again." Buck’s voice was ice cold and flinty.

"I’ll do what I want with her. She’s mine!"

"She belongs to no one." Buck grated. "But she belongs with me."

"And why is that?" Ben said, haughtily, gaining confidence. "Because you’ve already
compromised her with you filthy hands!"

Reigning in his anger, Buck flexed his hands at his sides. "She belongs with me because she wants
to be with me. Kayla asked you to leave. If you do not wish to oblige her in her wishes, then I’ll
strap you to the back of my horse and drag you elsewhere."

"I’m not leaving here without her! How do I know you haven’t enslaved her under some kind of
Indian magic?"

"Kayla does what Kayla wants." Buck stated simply.

"That’s the problem. She should be supervised."

"You think a grown woman should be supervised in running her own life? Kay’s right. You are
crazy."

"Her name is Kayla, half-wit. Kayla Lambert."

"Well, in the very near future it will be Kayla Cross." Buck stepped into the house, and slammed
the door. The house shuddered with the reverberation of wood on wood. A muffled, "Pa?"
sounded from Noah’s room. Mumbling a curse, he went to Noah’s room to assure him
everything was all right.

Kayla went to the door, and heaved the heavy slab of wood that served as a lock, into the cuffs
on either side of the entrance. She peeked out of the window, hoping to see Ben’s retreating
form. She was very disappointed. He stood there staring back at her. Fury welled up from inside
of her. Before she could stop herself, she was screeching like some kind of animal. "Leave!
Leave me alone!" Octaves far above her normal speech tore from her throat. "I hate you! Do you
hear me? I hate you! You’ll never have me! Never!" Her voice was beginning to falter. Her
world seemed to be swirling. Nothing in the room would remain constant for her, until the iron
grip around her waist pulled her out of whatever hole it was she had almost fallen into. She was
panting, her throat was raw, he knees were weak, tears rolled down her face in a torrent, and
she was shivering all over, but Buck was there. He was holding on to her, and he would make
everything all right. Silently, she fell into his arms.

Buck watched helplessly as Kayla’s body was wracked with shudders. At his return from his
son’s room, he noticed that Ben had not left, but as soon as he noticed Buck, he fled. What had
this man done to her? What had made her fear him so badly? Kayla was as strong willed as a
woman could be, but she was reduced to a boneless, shaking, bag of nerves at the presence of
this man who considered himself her fiancee. Buck gently tilted her head up so that he could
gauge her reaction to his questions. Her face would tell him what she couldn’t. He knew every
detail of her face, every one.

"Honey? Who was he?"

"Ben," she said miserably.

"I know that much Kay. Why are you so afraid of him?" Buck’s heart shattered as her face
seemed to shatter. Her tears fell all the more plentifully, and wrenching sobs overtook her small
frame. "I-I-I can’t. I d-don’t want t-to talk about it."

"Kay, please. I need to know." She pulled her face from his grip, and pressed it into his chest.
Her tears soaked through his shirt, and he felt the sticky heat of her pain.

"Please, No. Please don’t make me, Buck."

"Kay, nothing is that bad. Why did he say he was your fiancee?" Kayla pressed her face more
firmly to his chest. "Because he’s crazy." came her muffled reply. Buck smiled. She was already
beginning to calm down. "He must have had some reason."

"He does, he’s crazy." She insisted.

"Kayla."

"What?" She finally looked back at him.

"Why don’t you want to tell me?"

"Because I don’t want to."

"You’re being stubborn."

"Is that any surprise to you?"

"No."

"Well, there you go."

"Kay, why do you get so defensive? If I ask any question you don’t like, or if I happen to get a
little protective, you just clam up. Is he why you do that?" She stilled, she seemed entirely too
pale. She walked away from him, and dropped heavily on to the couch. She stared at her hands,
as she pulled at her bodice. Buck noticed the odd habit, and almost grinned. She did that when
she was nervous.

"Sit down.’ She said quietly."

"Is it that bad?" Buck tried to make it a light question, but Kayla’s defeated posture seemed to
be shrinking from the gravity of the matter at hand. She looked at him with sad, tired eyes, and
nodded. Buck’s heart dropped.

"Ben was an old family friend." She began. "We grew up together, but about a year ago he
started wanting us to court. I told him I wanted nothing but friendship, but he kept getting
possessive. He kept trying to keep me from getting my teaching credentials. He would try to
keep me from my other friends. He got so territorial with me that I told him I didn’t want to be
his friend anymore." She looked stricken. Buck watched as she restlessly began to arrange the
pleats of her skirt.

"Kay, if it’s too difficult for you, then you don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have pushed you so
hard in the first place. I just want to know everything about you. I think the good parts and the
bad parts are both important to know, but if it causes you this much pain then just remind me that
you love me and I’ll be happy with that."

"Kayla reached up to stroke his face. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you, Buck. I
want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, and that’s why you deserve to know the rest
of this story." She took his hand, and continued. "When I told him I didn’t want him around
anymore, he went crazy. He told me that I was his, and that I couldn’t order him away. He said
that he knew that we were meant to be married, and that I was a tease for stringing him along for
so long. He said that I had been trying to seduce him since I was nine…he said…he said…just
crazy things like that." She blew out a deep breath. "He grabbed me. He shoved me to the floor."
Buck wanted to kick himself when he heard those words. He’d just had her half stripped on the
floor next to the very couch they were sitting on. No wonder she’d had a "bad moment."

"He held me down…he kept saying that after…after…it, I would know I was his. I think he
thought that if he…that if we…that maybe I would consent to be his wife because I would be,
well used." Buck couldn’t take anymore. "Stop. Please stop. I can’t…" Buck used his free hand
to pinch the bridge of his nose. It was as if he were trying to squeeze her words out of his head.
He’d seen the continual nightmares, and unexplainable rages, that were the legacy, besides his
own flesh, to what had been done to his mother. He felt physical pain, for Kayla.

"Buck, no listen, you don’t understand. He heard my parents walking up the steps to the door.
As soon as he heard the key in the lock, he was off of me in an instant. As my parents came in he
was dragging me off of the floor blabbering something about me falling, but he didn’t have time
to... That’s one of the reasons I came here. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone. That’s why I get
upset when I feel pressured to do things, or when I feel like someone is being possessive. She
noticed that absolute lack of color in Buck's face. "Don’t be upset, I’m okay." Kayla said trying
to erase the agonized lines in his face.

"Kayla, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that."

"But he didn’t manage, so I’m okay."

"Is that why you were shaking?"

"He just scared me so much that day that every time I see him, or someone who looks like him,
or I hear his voice, that I remember how helpless I felt. I don’t like feeling helpless, Buck."

"I know, Kay. I know." He pulled her close to him, and she leaned happily on his chest.

"Are you angry with me for not telling you?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"Because I shouldn’t keep secrets from you."

"Well I want you to feel like you can bring any thing to me, and I’ll admit that if I had known I
would have gone about things much differently. I’m not angry though. I’m so relieved that he
wasn’t able to add to your hurt that night."

"Me too."