The plains outside of Blue Creek, Four months later

Henry Dunne was dead.  Rachel Dunne was gone.  Although Kid was sleeping on the cold, hard ground, he felt like he was at the bottom of a deep, dark pit with no ladder in which to escape.  His perfect world, his peaceful life, his second home was destroyed.  Each night, just before attempting sleep, Kid would recall his perfect life that he took for granted.

Kid's life was better than perfect.  He and Lou continued their friendship through the mail, each letter bringing sunshine to his soul.  Rachel was expecting a baby in four months.  And Kid almost saved enough to buy 5 acres of Henry's land.  On occasion Kid's dream life was interrupted with talk of corruption within the local law.  It seemed the Browning family, owners of a land and trust company, bought the law in Blue Creek.  Frustration would cross Henry's face on more than one occasion because of Thad Browning.  It seemed he and Rachel had done business together in the past.  Thad was under the impression that Rachel hadn't lived up to her end of the business deal. Thus, getting protection from the law was difficult.  However, this did not phase Kid.  He had blind faith that everything would work out in the end, and life at the homestead would continue to be a peaceful haven.

Each night Kid dreamed of his perfect life, but awoke to the same monstrous nightmare.  He had gone to the fields that fateful morning.  On his return he saw Henry dead.  His heart felt like it was ripped out by a bear.  Only two seconds later he discovered Rachel in life threatening pain, crying out for her baby's life.  Carrying her into the house, Kid placed her in bed. He started out the door to retrieve the doctor for the occurring miscarriage, but Rachel begged him stay.  Together they mourned the loss of Henry.  Together they wept as the unborn life passed and faded away. Together they faced despair.

The next day, the sheriff came to arrest Rachel for the murder of Tom Browning.  She hadn't even healed yet from her miscarriage, but they dragged her off to jail all the same.  They even claimed Henry's land as their own. Supposedly it would cover the debts and damages that Rachel's "unfinished business" incurred.   Henry was right.  The Brownings were a lynching mob and their next victim was Rachel.  Rachel had killed Tom Browning in self defense after Thad shot Henry.

Unfortunately, the Browning's story was twisted in more directions than a tornado.  They claimed that Henry and Rachel were armed and heartlessly killed Tom out of spite.  Thad's only defense was to shoot Henry.   The trial was to be held in one week.

Kid tried to convince the sheriff and others that Rachel was innocent.  His efforts were like sagebrush passing by – no one ever seemed to care.  Rachel physically healed in jail with no doctor to attend her.  On the night before the trial, Kid convinced Hope with a nice sum of money to distract the deputy on duty.  Losing his real mama and surrogate father was too much heartache and loss.   He wasn't about to lose Rachel to a hangman's noose. With a bittersweet goodbye, Rachel forced Kid to go into hiding.  "They'll be after you next," she warned him.

Not wanting to walk away from the only physical place he ever considered home, Kid roamed the lonely plains outside of Blue Creek.  He literally lost everything.  Due to Kid's aid in Rachel's escape he knew he couldn't go into town.  That meant no more letters from Lou, at least until he found another place to live.  The sunrise was a reminder that he still hadn't made a decision on what to do next.  The sunset bitterly accused him of being a failure.

Helpless and emotionally beaten, Kid did the only thing that came to mind. "God, I know I'm not a prayin' man.  But my mama believed in you even though her life was a living hell.  I don't know what to do.  I've lost everything but my horse.  I don't quite have enough money saved to buy a place of my
own, and I don't want to keep drifting.  I'm homesick and there's no place to call home.  Please God, give me guidance.  Amen."

Pulling out the only peace that lulled him to sleep, he began to read Lou's letters.  Within minutes, Kid drifted into the first calm sleep he'd had since Henry's death.
 

The dance was light and festive.  Food tables overflowed with fountains of fruit, cake, pies, and cookies.  Beautiful girls twirled and flirted.  Watching Henry swing Rachel around vivaciously, Kid decided to join in the fun.  He searched for the one, the one who could lift the dark clouds above him, fill the empty holes in his heart, erase the dark circles from beneath his eyes.  The one he could trust his life with, the one he could *share* his life with.  Two woman caught his eye.  The first, a blond with curly locks who was obviously born of high society.  She had a porcelain face and wore an off the shoulder, purple taffeta gown.  Suitors swarmed at her beck and call.  The other stood with her back to him.   The woman was clad in a pink striped silk dress.  It was odd, for she was the only girl with short brown hair.  She was engaged in a conversation with an English gentleman.  Not knowing who to approach first, Kid decided to ponder the question over a piece of cake instead.  As he picked up a plate, the short haired woman stood across from him and said, "You should come to Sweetwater.  I have a feeling that you'd fit right in."
 

"Lou?" Kid asked aloud as he woke up with a start and sat up.  He had the oddest dream, but he couldn't remember the details.  All he remembered was Lou's voice and Sweetwater.  Heavy rain started to pelt down, pestering Kid.  "All right God, I'll go to Sweetwater!"

Mr. Tompkins, the store owner, didn't have one nice thing to say about the boys at the Pony Express station when Kid asked him for directions. Shrugging off his smugness, Kid wouldn't let this man's opinion sway him from the people he knew from Lou's letters.  He was uneasy about just
showing up.  There were too many "what ifs" involved.   What if Lou didn't want him here.  What if there was no work for him.  What if the others didn't take to him.  What if, what if...   "Well th' only way of overcoming fear is t' do th' thing ye fear the most," Henry always rambled.

As Kid and Katy rode towards the station, an Indian yelled, "Rider Comin'." A half a dozen people exited the weather worn yet sturdy brown bunkhouse. Louise immediately recognized Katy and ran up to the Kid.  Kid jumped off the horse and was surprised by how he was greeted.

Grabbing Kid into a tight hug Lou said, "Thank goodness you're alright. When I heard what happened and didn't hear from you, I was afraid they'd....."

Kid pulled Lou back to look into her face.  "They?  How'd you know what happened?"

As if on cue, Rachel tapped Kid's shoulder.  Thinking this was a cruel joke and not believing his own eyes, Kid stepped backwards.  "Yes, Kid, it's really me."  Tears filled Kid's eyes.  God gave him a miracle.  He pulled Rachel into a tight bear hug and didn't want to let go for fear she'd be ripped away from him as Henry was.

Rachel finally released herself and grabbed him by the face wiping his tears with her thumbs.  "Louise knows everything as do the others."

"The others?  What are you doing here Rachel?"

"I answered an add for a cook and housekeeper for the Sweetwater Pony Express station.  I figured it was a good place to hide.  So far so good. As for the others, let me introduce you."  The three walked over to the rag tag bunch.

Lou spoke, "Boys, I'd like to introduce my friend to you."

A blond haired, blue eyed young man wearing a leather fringe jacket jumped up and shook Kid's hand, "So this here is Pen Pal Kid that we've heard so much about.  Nice to meet ya.  My name's..."

"...let me guess, Cody," came Kid's swift reply.  "Sound's like Lou has told you as much about me, as I know about you."  Kid approached the others, "You must be Buck."

"What gave it away?  The earring?" the half-breed teased.

Lou continued the introductions, "That's Noah, he's the one we like to irritate by throwing dirt on his white pants.  The quiet one you've probably already guessed is Ike.  And over there is Jimmy or as you may have heard "Wild Bill Hickok."  Remember not to believe everything you've heard about him."

"Where's the man you call Teaspoon?"

"He's also the marshal for Sweetwater, so he's in town doing official business.

"Yeah, like sleepin'," added Jimmy.

During the rest of the day, Kid became acquainted with everyone at the station.  Lou was right.  He did fit right in.  It wasn't the same feeling as belonging to Henry, but it was still comfortable and peaceful.

Kid finally met the man Lou called her father.  Teaspoon was every bit as Kid imagined him.  Dirty, witty, but also a big child's bear toy.  That night at the table, Teaspoon enlightened how he discovered the secret identity of Lou.  Embarrassed, Lou's face turned bright red as Teaspoon stretched the truth.  "Therrre she was in her birthday suit just a sunbathin' like a snake on a rock."

"Teaspoon, I was in the water, and you know it.  It was a hot day.  The boys were kind enough to wait for me to cool down when Teaspoon came along.  He started a water fight and decided since I wasn't going to fight back that I needed an alley oop."

"I dove under the water and approached him,... er her, and lookeee what I saw!  Not a man, but a woman!  I couldn't fire her.  ‘Cause family's family."

"And family sticks together," everyone repeated together in a monotone voice.

Kid chuckled.  Yes, he was going to like it here.

As chores were being completed the next day, Teaspoon rode into the station like a child running away from a swarm of bees.

"Where's Rachel?" he demanded from Lou.

"She's in the house.  Teaspoon is everything all right?"

"I'm afraid not sweetie.  You better go and get Kid too.  The sheriff from Blue Creek is looking for the both of ‘em.  AND he has a bounty."

"I'm telling you Teaspoon, Dennis Browning won't go against his family," Rachel murmured.  "The best thing is for Kid and me to ride out."

"What if we could get him to talk alone?" Teaspoon offered.  "Do ya think he'd testify?"

"He just might Rachel.  Him and me used to be friends.  He never did like the way Thad treated you.  How'd we get him alone?" Kid questioned.

"You'd both have to ride like the wind on back roads to Blue Creek.  Lou and the boys won't be very far behind.  We'll come up with a plan then." Teaspoon concurred.

Teaspoon's plan paid off.  Lou was able to divert Dennis Browning long enough for Rachel and Kid to talk to him.  Dennis fessed up that Thad had shot Henry first, and Rachel shot Tom in self-defense.  Thad was going to spend his life in prison for Henry's murder.  The crooked sheriff was also placed in a jail cell, and the Browning Land and Trust was dissolved, along with  Rachel's warrant and bounty.

"Pretty excitin' couple of weeks wouldn't ya say Kid?" Teaspoon questioned.

"Too exciting.  In my opinion, I wished they'd never happened," came Kid's glum remark.

"I can understand where yer coming from son.  Have ya given any thought to what yer gonna do next?"

"Well, I know Rachel wants to stay and work for all of you.  Blue Creek holds too many memories for her to go back.  I guess it does for me too."

"Can I help ya in any way?"

"I was wonderin' if you needed another rider.  I know Lou loves the work, and I sure could use a job myself."

Teaspoon's head hung low.  "The company don't need any fellers quite right now."  Despair once again enveloped Kid.  He couldn't start drifting again. "But I have a proposition for ya.  First I need ya to show me something. Jimmy noticed how good ya handle a gun, and Lou has mentioned before that ya learnt to shoot from the best."  Teaspoon placed three discarded tin cans on the corral fence.  "Can you shoot three for three?"

Without saying a word, Kid pulled out his revolver quicker than a hot knife through butter.  Not only did he shoot each can, but shot a broken piece of the can while in mid air.  Teaspoon stood with one eye wide, the other still partly shut, his mouth gapping open.

"I can shoot six for six Teaspoon.  Why?"

"Well, here's my proposition.  I'm in desperate need of a deputy for Sweetwater.  I'm constantly deputizing these boys, and it'd be nice to have a steady man on the job.  Looks like yer just the man.  Since ya consider Rachel family, I'm willin' to let ya bunk here.  Understand that ya'll have to pull yer own weight around here too.  What do ya say?"

With a firm handshake, Kid wholeheartedly said, "Yes."

Rachel wasn't too keen on Kid's decision to become deputy.  But, she also realized that he was a man of his own.  She prayed everyday for his safety. Lou wasn't too excited either.  "It's too dangerous!" she exclaimed.

"Too dangerous?  And riding for the express isn't?"

"That's entirely different."

Kid threw Lou's own words back in her face, "Look Lou, I'm not the 16 year old boy you met on the stage two years ago.  I'm independent now.  I can take care of myself."

Understanding her defeat, Lou said with a sneer, "Well, don't expect me to come rescue your hide!"

Over the next six months Kid's homesickness left, never realizing that it had disappeared.  Louise was right, Sweetwater did fit him.  He was with two people whom he knew he belonged with.  His friendship with Lou continued to grow.  He never thought two people could be so close.  She finally trusted him enough to tell him why she started dressing like a boy two and a half years ago back in St. Joe.  With tears streaming down her face, Kid embraced her.  His own tears fell into her hair as he empathized with her pain.

When Lou finished uncovering her secret, Kid blamed himself for her harsh treatment.  He realized that she was the 14 year old girl hanging wash at the brothel.  He should have done what his conscience told him that day and convince her to leave.  This time, Lou's arms enclosed Kid.  She reassured him there was nothing he could have done.  If anything, Wicks would have killed him.

Drifting off into a peaceful slumber, Kid remembered to thank God for leading him to Sweetwater.  But most of all he thanked God that he was part of a family again.
 

Chapter 6

Sweetwater, May 1861

Crowded around the bunkhouse table like a swarm of bees to its hive, everyone danced in anticipation to hear Teaspoon's long awaited news.

"Boys and gals.  I have some official news from the home office in St. Joe. The company is transferring our entire unit to the Rock Creek station, Nebraska territory."

With a roar of commotion, everyone spoke out at once.

"What?"

"Why?"

"Leave Sweetwater, how?"

"When?"

The only person remaining stoic was Kid.  He wasn't sure how to react to such news.  Needing more information, he calmly waited for further explanation.

"Settle down!  I have all yer answers, just hear me out."  Each person settled back down and cocked their heads thinking the motion would give them greater understanding to Teaspoon's words.  "It seems that the Rock Creek station has had several attacks before the war broke out.  Both "causes"
have tried to ambush secret documents, gold shipment schedules, and military schedules.  Last week, someone set the old station a blazin'.  Now that the war between the states has taken a permanent fixture in our country's affairs, the company wants us to rebuild the station in town."

"Why us?" asked Cody.

"Because the company only wants the best.  They know my boys...and er gal, are the best.  Replacements for this station will be here tomorrow.  We'll train them and in one week we leave for Rock Creek."

"One week, that doesn't give us much time to train new riders Teaspoon," Jimmy stated matter of factly.

"Well, the company realizes that.  These ain't green horns.  The boys who are comin' have already been ridin' the trails.  They just need to be trained on this particular station."

Noah remarked, "We'll be closer to the war.  That means more troubles."

"That's why they want us Noah.  We're the best at solving troubles," Cody pompously added.

"Yeah, but your color ain't gonna spark trouble like ours," Buck retorted referring back to Noah.

I thought we were the ones who stirred up trouble, not solved it. Ike signed with a wide grin.

Amongst all the Rock Creek talk, Lou noticed that Kid's stoic attitude hadn't changed.  She tried to catch his eye, but Kid stared down at the table, his finger picking an imaginary spot.  Finally, his soft voice cut everyone off from their current conversations.

"What's gonna to happen to Rachel and me?" he asked sincerely.

"Well Kid, there are some decisions that need to be made.  Rachel is under the employment of the company so she's more than free to come with us or stay here and take care of the new riders.  As for you son, well, the town will be lookin' for a new marshal once I leave.  You've proven yourself
worthy as deputy.  I'm sure the people of Sweetwater will want you to stay."

Lou immediately looked down.  She was afraid everyone could see the emotional turmoil written across her face.  She hadn't realized in the past five minutes that Kid wouldn't be coming.  Although neither spoke of feelings beyond friendship, Kid and Lou were connected.  Sometimes Kid was a
bit overprotective, but Lou had set him straight.  For the most part, Kid tried hard not to push Lou and accepted her independent spirit.  In return, Lou respected Kid's decision to work as a deputy and overlooked the many times he overanalyzed a situation.  The thought of losing him sent a lonely cold chill down her spine.  It was the same feeling she had the night her mama passed away.

Teaspoon continued, "You're more than welcome to come with us too Kid.  Just know that I can't promise ya a job with the express.  With all the trouble Rock Creek is having, they may just need your law enforcin' skills there as well."

In retrospect, Kid didn't want to be left behind.  He felt like his life was being ripped away again.  He finally had friends.  Not just any friends, but friends who didn't judge him.  Friends who would die for him.  The idea of losing Rachel was heart wrenching.  Homesickness enveloped him thinking he'd never see Lou again.  With longing eyes, Kid searched for Rachel.

Seeing Kid's eyes turn towards Rachel, seven pairs of questioning eyes followed suit.

"Well," came Rachel's weak reply, "I want to go with you all.  I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings Kid."

"No Rachel, it just made my decision easier to make.  I'm going too," Kid responded.

With her wide doe eyes, Lou looked at Kid in shock.  She didn't expect him to leave.  "Why?  I mean, you have a job here."

Smiling back at her, Kid gave her the only explanation necessary.  "‘Cause family's family..."

"...And family sticks together," came the unison reply.

During the next week, the Sweetwater station transferred hands.  The new riders were unpacking as the Rock Creek riders were packing.

"Hey, do you need any help packing?  I'm finished and my stuff is already loaded in the wagon,"  Lou asked Kid.

"Sure.  You can help me go through my trunk."

Lou reached in and dug towards the bottom of the trunk.  Pulling out an old beaten cigar box, she opened it and asked, "What's in here?"

Mixed emotions welled inside Kid.  He wasn't ready to face the ghosts that were hiding in the box.  It was too late.  Lou had opened Pandora's box.

"Is this a picture of you and your brother?"

Giving no verbal response, Kid just merely nodded his head yes.

"He looks about 16 and you look about 12.  Am I right?"

Lou had to strain her ears to hear him.  "Yeah, that's right before he left."

Sensing Kid's mood change, Lou pulled out the next item hoping to divert what ever feelings Kid was encountering.  It was a green gemmed broach with gold framing.  Kid never mentioned the broach to Lou when he first met her. He told her about Doritha, but left out the detail of the broach.

"This is beautiful Kid.  Was it your mothers?"

The cobwebs of Kid's memories had been stirred seeing his brother's picture and Doritha's broach.  Suddenly Kid felt like walls were starting to close on him and he couldn't breath.  He started to sweat and all he could hear was a voice echoing, "Something to remember me by."

Grabbing the broach forcefully out of Lou's hand, Kid situated the broach back into the cigar box and slammed it shut.  "Can we talk about it later Lou?"

Stunned by the violent reaction she had just witnessed, Lou declared, "Sure, but you owe me an explanation and an apology.  I'm gonna to let you cool down."  With that, Lou stormed out of the bunkhouse.  Instantly, Kid felt remorse for his actions towards Lou.  It wasn't Lou's fault, but the
memories that came back to haunt him.

Kid found Lou saying goodbye to a new foal after lunch.  "Hey, can I talk to ya?"

Cooly Lou stated, "That depends on what you've got to say."

"I'm sorry for the way I treated ya earlier in the bunkhouse.  When you opened that box, a lot of memories that I thought were buried jumped out at me.  Memories I'm not sure I can face right now."

"Do you need to talk about it?"

"I will, but not right now.  You once asked me not to ask you about your past.  I honored that wish.  And now I'm asking the same from you."

Louise noticed the pain in Kid's eyes.  She also heard sincerity in his voice.  "That's only fair, and I accept your apology."

"Thanks Lou."

The first few days of the journey towards Rock Creek were filled with expectation stories.  Each member contributed what they thought Rock Creek was going to be like.  The war between the states had just started and that too occupied quite a bit of conversation topics.  Each traveling member had their own viewpoint.  Several times the debates became heated.  In the end, everyone agreed to disagree.

During this time, Kid remained fairly quiet.  His thoughts were elsewhere.

One night on their journey, after eating Rachel's marvelous rabbit stew that Ike provided meat for, Kid pulled Lou aside.  "I'm ready to talk.  Can you go for a walk with me?"

Louise nodded and they both headed off on their own.  Finding a nice fallen log, both sat down with moonlight reflecting their faces.

"Kid, what is it?  You've barely said two words since we left Sweetwater."

"Lou, I want you to hear me out.  I'm not staying in Rock Creek with the rest of you."

With confusion written on her face, Lou asked, "What?  Why?  Kid..."

"I've been thinking a lot about it Lou.  It's time for me to go home."

"Home?  Back to Virginia?"

"Yes, I need to return home to Virginia.  Lou, that broach ya found...that wasn't my mother's.  It was Doritha's."

Her name caused Lou to turn a shade of green.  Jealousy coursed through her body.  How could Kid even think about going back to Doritha after all they had been through together?

"Look, I made a promise to her years ago.  I have to keep my word."

Lou could barely force the words out of her mouth, but she had to know, "You gonna marry her?"

Snaking his hand through his hair, Kid answered honestly, "I don't know.  I don't know if I even love her anymore.  That's what I've got to find out. Besides, even if I don't marry her, I need to repay the debt I owe her."

This was her typical Kid; always analyzing.  He even had to analyze his own feelings.  Lou tried to be supportive, but found it difficult.  "When are you going?"

"As soon as I help everyone settle down in Rock Creek."

"I don't get it Kid.  What happened to ‘family sticks together'?"

"That's just it Lou.  Seeing the picture, the broach, and all this war talk made me realize that I still have family in Virginia."  Seeing the questions rise in Lou's eyes, Kid continued, "I have an aunt, an uncle, and a few cousins still there.  They may even know where my brother is.  Besides, I need to defend them too."

"Defend?  Are you plannin' on joining this suicidal war?"

"I will if I have to Lou.  I realize that it just ain't my family I'm defending, but my good memories.  I'll join the minute they try to take away those memories, ya hear me?"

"The only person who can take away your memories is you.  No one else can," Lou slightly sobbed.  Lou wasn't one to shed wasted tears.  These tears were justified.  Lou stood up and walked away from the Kid.  She was losing her best friend all because of a stupid promise he'd made as a 15 year old.  Not only was she losing her best friend, but the man that she grew to love -- the man she was in love with.  Kid walked towards her.  With his chest against her back, he placed his chin on her left shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist.  Kid's emotions were running high as well.  He too had tears brimming from his eye lids.  His voice cracked as he whispered in her ear, "Leaving you is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do."

Lou sharply turned around, "Then don't!  Why do you have to be so dang honorable?  You were 15 years old.  She's probably married anyway.  Don't think about the family you left behind, think of the family you now have."

"I ain't any good to the family I now have if I can't keep and fulfill my promises."

"Kid, I don't fully understand your reasoning and I know you're trying to do the right thing.  But just know that this decision will have consequences too.  If you'll excuse me, I'm going back to camp.  I'm tired and I need sleep."

Kid watched helplessly as Lou walked away from him.  Homesickness filled his bosom.  He knew that he didn't want to let go of Lou.  Scrutinizing his own feelings, he questioned whether he was in love with her.  Even if Lou loved him back, he didn't feel he deserved that love until his wrongs were made
right.  His mind was made up.  He was not turning back.  He was going home.
 

Chapter 7

The First Battle at Manassas, Virginia, July 1, 1862

In all his years drifting, Kid never felt so alone as he did right then surrounded by 5,300 dead and dying men.  Lou was right.  Kid suffered consequences beyond imagination returning to Virginia.  It was the last day in what was deemed the Seven Days' Battles and the Confederates suffered a great loss–both in battle and in men.

Not seeing the enemy who fired, the bullet passed threw the nape of Kid's neck.  After laying in excruciating pain for 12 hours, Kid's body finally went numb.  His mind however, was still alert.  He listened to the others crying for their mothers, lovers, wives, and homes.

Home.  What did that word mean to Kid?  His entire life he searched for a permanent place to call home.  His only experiences with a real home were short lived.  And now he returned "home" to Virginia.  He was no closer to having his own home than when he'd left Doritha as a 15 year old.  What good did returning home do him?  Absolutely nothing other than a debt paid off.

Doritha raced towards him.  "Kid!  You're finally back.  I thought I'd never see you again," she said breathlessly while wrapping her arms around him. The same empty feeling he had when he said goodbye to her four years earlier filled his senses.  Realization hit.  He was no longer in love with the woman before him.

"How are ya Doritha?"

"Great now that you're back.  Why didn't you write?  Four years is a long time to beholding to a promise.  Are we settling here?  Did you find us a nice spot someplace out west?"

The questions were overwhelming for Kid.  "Doritha, four years is a long time.  There are things we need to discuss."  They both went into Doritha's home and sat down.  Doritha read the apprehension on his face.

"Kid, you didn't come back to marry me did you?"

"I knew I had to come back.  I had to resolve my promise.  I'm sorry Doritha, but time has taken it's toll.  I'm not going to marry you.  But as a friend, I'm asking you to allow me to repay my debt to you."

Disappointment was clearly written across her face.  "Same ol' Kid.  Always trying to do the right thing.  Don't you even think about repaying me.  That was my gift to you."

"I appreciate that, but please Doritha, let me do this.  I need to do it for me.  I need to close that chapter in my life."

"Alright."  Kid handed his hard earned money over to Doritha.  Not only did he pay her the full amount, but doubled it.  "Is there someone else Kid?"

Smiling, an image of Lou danced across his eyes.

"That smile says it all," Doritha pointed out.  "I wish you both well."

For the first time, Kid understood the love that he felt for Lou.  Indeed he was in love with her.  Mentally Kid berated himself for not understanding his feelings before leaving Rock Creek.  Lou still was not happy with the fact that he left, but made a promise to write.

However, he was in the same predicament with Lou that he was with Doritha four years ago.  Kid had no money, how could he provide a real home for her?

Remembering that he had returned to Virginia for his family as well, he questioned Doritha.  "I have to know.  Have you heard from my brother?"

"Sorry Kid.  The last I heard he was helping out the southern cause two years back.  Your aunt and uncle also moved west in hopes to avoid the war. They didn't say where they were headed."

The feeling of defeat that Kid had so frequently felt once again resurfaced. Kid had returned home to no family.  The feeling of hope rose –  he at least had his memories.

Saying goodbye to Doritha, Kid walked the familiar path towards the home of his youth.  However, the path didn't seem as familiar as he thought.  Even though the war had raged only a few short months, destruction was already evident.  His house stood in a pile of heaped, rotting wood.  It seemed to
mock him as he stared at the mass.  Fond memories flashed through his head. Lou was right.  Memories were stored in the safety of his mind, not in the wood sitting before him.  The unhappy memories tried to resurface as well, but like he told Doritha, he was closing that chapter of his life.  It was time to begin a new one.  A new life with Lou.   Wrapped up in his thoughts, Kid didn't even notice the two men who approached him.

"Excuse us mister, but do you live here?"

In surprise, Kid turned his head.  "Yes....no.....well, I grew up here."

"Well then, by issue of the Confederate Army, you are hereby drafted. Please follow us."

"Wait a minute, you're not even dressed in military uniform.  You have no right draftin' me into this war."

"The civilian clothes lessen the threat to the townspeople, but believe me you will join the Confederate Army or be put to death for treason," one of them seriously said.  "Which would you like?"

Understanding the seriousness of his predicament, Kid followed the two men and within 4 hours he was suited in a gray, slightly small, Confederate uniform.  This was not the life he pictured returning home to.

Home.  That word again.  Kid had no idea what it meant anymore.  He was now forced to fight in a war that he wasn't sure he believed in.  Yes, at one point he was willing, but now with no family to defend and his memories safe, he wasn't sure if the war was worth fighting.  The consequences of his
choice to return to Virginia were extreme indeed.

"I'm so proud of you Kid.  You turned out to be such a fine young man. You stand up for people in need, and you always try to do what's right." With his head cradled in his mama's lap, Kid looked into light blue loving eyes that reflected his own.

"Mama?"

"That's right.  I'm here for you son."

"Where's the other soldiers?  Am I dead?"

"Not yet, but that's a choice you're going to have to make," Kid's mother said while stroking his soft curls.

"I feel so much love here.  I want to stay with you. *This* feels like home."

Soft were the words that she spoke, "Home is where your heart is son.  Home is a place where you're shrouded in love.  Home is where you experience a sense of belongin'.   Always remember that."

"I want to return home then."

"I know you do son.  Return home."

Chapter 8

Rock Creek, 1863

After the Pony Express disbanded, the make-shift family also went their separate ways.  Cody joined the Union Army.  Jimmy left and did a little scouting for the army as well.  Buck and Ike started a ranch of their own back at the old Sweetwater station.  Noah headed Northeast to help the
abolitionist cause.  If he couldn't fight in the army, he was going to what he could to help free the slaves.  Teaspoon continued as Rock Creek'smarshal and remarried his third wife Polly who owned the local tavern.

Rachel began teaching while the express was still in full swing.  She was actually grateful when the express closed.  She had more time to focus on her students.  Besides, her boys were grown now and had to make decisions for themselves.  Rachel married the local blacksmith, Janusz Tarkoski.
Happy and full of life, they were expecting their first child in six months.

Lou was able to return to St. Joe and retrieve her brother and sister. Charlotte also returned with her.  Rachel and Lou had bought the express station property.  Rachel continued to live in the house with her new husband while Lou converted the bunkhouse into a makeshift home for Charlotte, herself, and her siblings.  Lou and Charlotte fulfilled their dream and opened a local dress shop.

Lou hadn't heard from Kid since he was drafted into the Confederate Army. She feared for his life, but continued to believe he was alive.  In his last letter he confessed his love for her.  Now that she finally knew, she wasn't about to give up on him.

A lone figure entered the streets of Rock Creek.  He had only been there once before.  It had grown since his last visit.  Stopping first at the schoolhouse, he entered the building with anticipation.  With the children already home for the day, Rachel looked up from her desk.  Her face paled and tears sprang forth.  "Is it really you?" she whispered.

"Yep, I'm finally home," Kid said.

Rachel leapt out of her chair and into the outstretched arms of the man she considered a son.

Kid and Rachel spent the next hour catching up on each other's lives, when finally the questions that burned within Kid's heart erupted.  "Rachel, how's Lou?  Is she happy?  Is she safe?"

Smiling Rachel said, "She's wonderful.  But I think you should ask her how she's doing yourself."

"She's here?"

"Yep, I don't want to tell you too much because she should be the one to tell you."

"I have to ask this question in order to be prepared.  Is she married?"

Smirking again, Rachel answered, "No.  Not that she hasn't been pursued.  I think she's been waiting for a certain someone."

"Do I know this man?"

"Kid, you need to talk to her, not me."  Rachel chuckled at Kid's naivety towards the hints she was shooting his way.

"Where can I find her?"

"Well normally she's at the dress shop, but today she took Jeremiah and Teresa fishing.  The creek is only about a half mile from here."  Kid stood up and gave Rachel a hug.  "Kid, it's nice to have you home."

Kid hurriedly galloped away towards the creek.

"Why is it that those two think I should be the one to go find more worms," muttered Lou aloud.  She was by herself collecting poor unfortunate worms as bait.  She heard a rider approaching, and immediately put on her defenses. She now dressed like a woman, but anyone who crossed her the wrong way better stand prepared.  However, the sight before her was not what she had prepared herself for.  It was like a dream.  The dream she'd dreamt every night, but not expecting it to come true.  There he was before her, her Kid.

She was a sight for sore eyes.  Kid didn't even recognize her at first. There in front of him stood a beautiful woman.  She wore a calico print skirt and a cream blouse that highlighted  her small, delicate features.  Her mahogany hair was past her waist.  It was in a long, loose braid down her back.  Wisps gently framed her face and danced about with the slight breeze. She looked down self consciously realizing how dirty she appeared.  She then raised her eyes.  It was the same motion he grew to love and know so well.  It was the same action that revealed her true identity years ago.

Kid dismounted and walked up to her.  Both were afraid to touch each other out of fear.  So many thoughts were running through their heads that neither knew what to say.

"You're here," came Lou's vulnerable response to his presence.

"To stay."

"How?  I mean, the war's still raging."

"I was shot.  They discharged me."

Immediately placing her hands on his chest, Lou roamed and searched for a visible or at least identifiable wound.  "Shot?  Where?  Are you okay?"

Grabbing her tiny hands into his own strong ones, he stated, "I wasn't at first.  I should have died.  I was shot in the back of the neck.  The bullet went in parallel with my body.  There is an entrance wound and an exit wound.  The doctors said that it skimmed my neck bone, but didn't penetrate
it."  Kid turned so Lou could inspect the wound that was at the base of his neck.  Lou rubbed the two scars gently with her fingertips.

"But you did survive."

"Not without some difficulty.  It happened just under a year ago.  When I woke up I couldn't even move.  They told me that I would never walk or use my arms again.  I was worse than those fellas who had amputations.  At least their other limbs worked."

"Why didn't you send for me?"

"First of all, I didn't even know if you were still in Rock Creek.  I physically couldn't begin to look for you.  Second, I wasn't about to have you enter a war zone.  I know, you can take care of yourself.  But Lou, no one should witness the bloody horrors of war."

Understanding Lou shook her head, "Go on."

"About a week after I woke up I started feeling my arms, but I couldn't move them.  The doctors told me that they couldn't help me anymore.  They were busy helping the other wounded soldiers.  A nurse told me about an Indian fella named Two Wings.  He helped me relearn how to use my body again.  In
time I regained all feeling.  It took time and work, but I wanted to return home to you whole."

"Home?" Lou couldn't believe Kid referred to her and home in the same
sentence.

"Lou, I could have chosen death.  I know this sounds strange, but you have to believe me.  I saw my mother.  She told me that I had to choose.  I wanted to stay with her Lou.  I'd never felt safer.  I'd never felt so at home.  Then she reminded me of something.  She said, ‘Home is where your heart is son.  Home is a place where you're shrouded in love.  Home is where you experience a sense of belongin'.'  Lou when she said those words the only image I had was you.  I understood for the first time in my life, that the home I was looking for wasn't a building to hang my hat, it was a place to hang my heart.  I've never been shrouded with more love than when I'm with you.  I've never felt liked I belonged more than when I'm with you. I'm homesick without you.  I decided to live so I could return home to you. Lou, you have my heart, you are my home."

Tears of happiness dropped from Lou's eyes.  They immediately embraced.  "I love you Kid," she whispered.

"I love you too."  Kid pulled back and gently placed his hands on Lou's shoulders.  He stood for several moments and memorized each and every beautiful feature.  He softly placed a feather kiss on her forehead.  Then he moved down to her right cheek and delivered another soft kiss.  He
proceeded to the tip of her nose, and to her left cheek.  Lou closed her eyes as a blissful chill ran down her spine.  Finally, Kid reached her lips. He placed the same type of soft kiss and pulled back.  Smiling at each other, they both leaned into a passionate kiss.

With Lou in his arms, Kid looked heaven ward.  "Thanks God for this wonderful woman.  And Mama, I'll never forget, there's no place like home."
 

Epilogue

Blue Creek, 1870

Kid watched his son Henry, and daughter Hope, play with Rachel's son Michael in the yard.  Hope was frantically chasing Henry and Michael, begging them to play dollies with her.  Rachel and Janusz had come to celebrate Kid and Lou's seventh wedding anniversary.  Actually, they came to tend the kids while Kid and Lou went into town to celebrate their anniversary.  Kid looked back on his wedding day and smiled.

Kid and Lou were married within a month of his return to Rock Creek. Teaspoon, Polly, Buck, Ike, Charlotte, Jeremiah, Teresa, Rachel and Janusz attended the wedding.  At the reception, Rachel pulled Kid aside.  Handing Kid an envelope she stated, "This is my wedding present to you."

Kid opened the envelope.  "Rachel, this is the deed to the homestead in Blue Creek.  I didn't even know you still owned it."

"It was returned to me after the Browning Land and Trust company was dissolved and I received my pardon."

"I can't take this."

"I want you to have it Kid.  I don't need it.  Besides, my life is here in Rock Creek with Janusz.  More important Henry wanted you to have it.  Henry once told me that he couldn't have been prouder of you than if he were your real father.  He considered you his flesh.  I feel the same way.  You are my son.  Go and take your beautiful wife and create a home together."

A home is what Kid indeed had.  But it wasn't the house that stood behind him.  It wasn't the homestead on which he labored.  Belonging to a family who loved him....that was home.