Stuck ..... Again!

by Arkangel

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

"Mother!" Nick Barkley yelled from the kitchen.

Victoria startled, then quickly regained her composure, "Just a moment, dear." Victoria placed the paper she was reading on the coffee table and rose to make her way to the kitchen. Taking in the sight before her, she could do nothing but laugh.

"Mother, I hardly find this funny." Nick frowned. Noticing Jarrod, Heath and Audra enter the kitchen behind his mother, Nick quickly put both hands behind his back.

"Nick, what's wrong?" Audra asked, voice tinged in worry.

"You okay?" Jarrod asked.

"What happened?" Heath added his concern.

Victoria, still laughing, found it hard to get a complete sentence out, "It seems ..... " laughing, "You're brother ..... " still laughing, "Has managed to ..... "

"Mother." Nick pleaded.

Trying desperately to stop her laughing, she took a deep breath and began, "I'm sorry dear," she snickered, "But you do have a knack of getting yourself STUCK in some of the oddest of places."

Jarrod grinned at the reference, "Brother Nick, are you STUCK?"

"NO!" Nick blushed a bit, "Well, yeah a little." Nick pulled his right hand from behind his back and, sure enough, it was STUCK in the mouth of a large mouth quart mason jar.

Audra giggled uncontrollably which started Victoria's laughter anew. "Nick, you've ..... "

"Yes, little sister, I was trying to get the last pickle from the jar."

"Uh, Nick, why didn't you just ..... well ..... pour it out into a bowl?" Heath asked in a more or less serious tone.

Nick narrowed his eyes, but refused to answer.

"Well, let me tell you about Nick, brother Heath." Jarrod started, ignoring the glaring looks from Nick, "It all started when he was five years old." Looking to Nick for confirmation, he added, "It was a banister then, wasn't it?"

"Jarrod, I'm gonna ..... "

"If I remember right, it was your head that you had stuck. Father had to grease you up to pull you out."

"Oh ..... Oh ..... stop ..... I can't stand it." Audra laughed.

"My poor boy smelled like pig lard for a week." Victoria added.

Heath's mouth turned up into a sly grin, "Pig lard?"

"Yeah, father called him piglet after that, didn't he ..... Piglet?" Jarrod laughed.

"Okay, you've had your fun, now please help me, I don't want to break the jar." Narrowing his eyes at Jarrod, he added, "Unless it's over your head, big brother."

"Wait ..... there's more ..... " Jarrod continued, "When Nick was 10, he had gotten his arm caught in the slats of Mother's good dinning chairs. Father had to saw it apart to get him out."

"Jarrod!"

"Then there was the time when he was 15 and he ..... "

"That's enough!" Nick growled.

"So, this happens every five years or so?" Heath snickered.

"Pretty much." Jarrod agreed.

Victoria sobered enough to get the jar of lard from the pantry. "Nick, hold still and I'll grease you up."

"Oh no." Nick complained.

"Oh yes, now hold still."

After a few moments of pain, and laughter, the jar released his hold with a loud pop.

Silas heard the sound and entered the kitchen from the back porch, "Mr. Piglet get hisself STUCK again?" He asked with a straight face.

Nick, forgetting the lard, placed his right hand over his eyes. "Oh for crying out loud!"

The family, in all it's glory, rattled the rafters with peels of laughter at the sight Nick Barkley, strong, respected rancher with lard dripping from his nose.

"Things, they never change." Silas laughed as he presented Nick with a clean towel.

"No Silas, and that's just the way I like it." Victoria laughed.

THE END