Something
You Can’t Buy
by Bonnie
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
This
is my first Christmas with my new family. When I first rode up to the Barkley
Ranch that spring morning in March I never imagined I would receive the greatest
gift of all, a family. In these months I have been here I have received more
than I ever deserved. This family has given me their unconditional love and
have made me an equal member of this amazing group of people I am proud to call
my loved ones.
That
is why I am sitting here perplexed. Oh, it's a bit overwhelming with how they
decorate and celebrate the Christmas holiday. Boy howdy, I sure have never seen
so much fussing going on before. When I was a boy growing up in Strawberry we
never had a Christmas like this. But that’s not what has me perplexed, it’s
that they all want this to be my greatest Christmas, seeing how it’s my first
one with them and all.
But
that’s what they, my family, don’t understand. This is already my greatest
Christmas. It has nothing to do with parties, decorations or presents stacked
under the tree with all of our names on them. But how do you tell a family who
has never had to go without food, or experienced the struggle to find money to
buy a pair of boots for winter? How do you tell this family who has always had
each other around how special it is to a boy who never knew the meaning of
brotherhood or sisterhood…or a second chance with a mother…that they all have
given me something that money couldn’t buy.
Jarrod. Jarrod was the first to welcome me into this
family. Oh at first he tried to buy me off but that was a logical response. It
was certainly the one I had expected. But what I didn’t expect was what
happened next. I rode up to Sample farm with the intention that my presence
would forever haunt them long after I was gone. I wanted to prove something to
them that day. Let them wonder about this man who dared to call himself a
Barkley. The gunfight shook me up more than I cared to admit. Jarrod came over
to me as I tried to shakily role a cigarette. He handed me one of his fancy
cigars. It was a peace offering, but what came next really surprised. He
invited me to the ranch so we could all talk. I had made my impression. My head
kept telling me to tip my hat and make the grand exit of all exits. But my
heart had me accepting his offer.
That
night everyone talked, except Nick, he yelled. But they all, minus Nick, voted
for me to stay. This wasn’t what I expected to receive from a family as fine as
the Barkleys. The days were rough in the beginning. The town and ranch hands
weren’t so welcoming. But I stuck it out…mainly because Jarrod was there to
encourage me every step of the way. We were still worlds apart but we were
becoming brothers.
Those
first months weren’t easy though. Sometimes Jarrod’s fight for justice gets in
the way of our newfound brotherhood. Like the time he went up against me, the
prime witness against his client, Korby Kyles. The family wasn’t pleased. But I
understood. It was daunting, my brother is a magnificent lawyer. But like I
said, I understood. I was poor and I've been in the position where law was not
on your side. The experience of your lawyer and his desire to help prove your
innocence determines your outcome of freedom. Korby Kyles was guilty and Jarrod
felt bad. But I understood…and I told him so.
We’ve
grown closer through the months, especially after that trial. It all started
with a brother’s chance…or challenge if you wish to call it. Tonight, Jarrod is
determined I have the finest Christmas. But no matter what he gives me under
that tree he already gave me something that money couldn’t buy.
Audra. Audra and her sweet innocence was the first one to
make me a full fledge member of the Barkley family. I first met Audra when I
visited Tom Barkley’s grave. She came after me with a whip. I knew at that
moment she was full of fire. That night after my declaration got me the boot
off the ranch she came into town to see me. She tried to get me to come onto
her, believing it would prove I was a con. Boy howdy, was she a handful!
The
following night I was invited back to the ranch after the fight at Sample Farm.
Audra listened intently to the questions being thrown at me. She never said a
word the entire night…until the vote. She was the first to vote for me to stay.
Her chin came out in determination, daring for her brothers to tell her
otherwise. Ever since that night she's been there for me and I for her. Jarrod
and Nick have played mentor to her since her father passed on when she was only
twelve. But I have been there merely as a friend and not someone to judge her.
Her kindness and gentle spirit has made it easy to speak to her. She reminds me
so much of the lovely ladies that raised me. I guess that’s why it was easy to
love her, because her acceptance of me came without strings and has never been
questioned.
Tonight
she is so full of excitement. She is talking nonstop about the orphanage and
how she is going to make the gifts special for the children. Like those
children at the orphanage, her big heart wants to give me all that I’ve never
experienced as a child. But no matter what she gives me this Christmas she
already gave me something that money couldn’t buy.
Gene. Gene was apprehensive of me at first. He didn’t
fight me like Nick did, but he did fight me in other ways. He was jealous of
me. I never could understand that at first. But he saw me as a threat. He just
turned fourteen when his father died. He, not only lost his father, but he had
lost that brotherhood feeling with Jarrod and Nick. Like Audra, Jarrod and Nick
had to mentor Gene, but it came with a price of brotherhood. Oh, they still
love each other but it’s different then what it use to be. With Gene in college
he saw me as an interloper coming in and stealing away his brothers and his
sister.
When
Gene realized I wasn’t there to steal away his family he came to realize I had
benefited in the family. Well I never thought I’d be beneficial to Gene as a
brother before, I mean it’s not like we have a lot in common. A college boy and
a cowboy don’t necessarily have much in common. But he came to realize I was
that brother he lost in Jarrod and Nick. I have to admit I have grown to love
playing big brother just as much as Jarrod and Nick have enjoyed the role.
Can
you believe Gene actually came to me with a problem not too long ago? Nobody
was more surprised then I when he wanted my advice on how to handle what had
been troubling him. And then when I told him how I felt he wanted to know if I
would stand with him when he talked to Jarrod and Nick. It made me feel special
when he said that. He really needed me.
Now
he’s home for Christmas and he wants me to know how he’s glad I’m part of the
family. He can’t believe it’s my first Christmas with them. He says it feels
like I’ve always been there. He says he hopes I like his gift. Said it came all
the way from England. England. Can you believe a poor boy from Strawberry
owning something from England? But he already gave me something that money
couldn’t buy.
Mother. That word still surprises me…and blesses me each
day. I never realized how much I needed a mother until I lost my Mama. No
matter how far away I’d go I always knew I could come home. Mama would stand in
the doorway and squeeze the life out of me with one of her hugs. Then she’d
cover me in kisses as I tried to fend her off with the excuse I was a grown
man…and grown men don’t get kissed by their Mamas. When I buried Mama I felt so
alone inside. I wanted nothing more than to feel one of those hugs and to have
her kiss me again. To smell the scent of her apple pie surround our small cabin
as she spoiled me with her cooking. The cabin never felt the same when she
wasn’t there and when I left Strawberry I never felt more alone.
Then
that anger brought me here to the family I felt jealousy. While my Mama
struggled to give me a good life this family lived day to day like Kings. I
wanted to tear them down and if my presence crumbled their perfect existence,
well then it would give me great satisfaction. Or so I thought. I saw this family
and the magnitude of love they were willing to give me. But most of all I saw a
woman who reminded me so much of my own Mama.
The
night I returned to retrieve those apples and the money Jarrod tried to give me
I couldn’t believe it when I saw her standing in the foyer. I thought she was
going to condemn me for my actions. But what she did was welcome me into her
home and eventually into her heart.
When
I was a teenager and I left home I was so full of anger that I never realized
the hurt I caused my Mama with my leaving. As they say you never realize what
you have lost until it's gone. Now I am blessed to have another chance with a
Mother, and it’s a priceless gift I will always treasure.
Tonight
Mother wants to make sure I am happy and that I have all I could ever desire.
She placed her hand around my shoulder and leaned in to give me a slight kiss.
I could only smile, for she already gave me something that money couldn’t buy.
Nick. Oh Nick. He was the one to fight me the hardest,
and the only one out of this crazy bunch that made any sense. I heard his
speech about working hard that first morning I was at the ranch. When I came in
from outside in sweat the look of pride in his eyes well it shook me to the
very core. I saw the other part of my soul that morning. I know he felt the
same about me too cause I saw how it shook him like it did me. But we were both
too stubborn to admit what we felt.
Nick
tried to make it hard on me at first.
But in all truth I enjoyed the challenge. When we went on the cattle drive Nick didn’t coddle me. When Nick was shot he put me in charge of
the drive; he wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t impress him. When I returned home I saw the pride in his
eyes and the look of admiration when he heard what happened with General
Wallant. That’s when I knew things were getting better between us. I think
today those first months cemented our bond we have grown to share today. That bond still shakes me up sometimes to
know there is someone else out there that shares my soul.
Nick
loves Christmas. The one thing I have learned about Nick in these short months
is that he has the heart of a child. And at Christmas that child comes out in
full force. He talked me into joining him as we snuck into the attic looking
for presents. I should’ve run the opposite way when he promised we wouldn’t get
caught because that was the sign of Mother coming up behind us. She gave us her
best glare and we gave her our best repentant look. She wasn’t really angry
with us but we didn’t cross her again.
I
know Nick is worried I won’t like his present. I think he’s afraid it won’t
express his true feelings for how far we have come. Like he with me, I know
Nick better than anyone. And you see he doesn’t have the confidence in how far
we have come since those early days. He still feels regret and a part of him
won’t offer forgiveness. I wish he would though. It doesn’t help matters when
everyone in the family tells him he needs to treat me with more sensitivity and
with a pair of kid gloves. Of course he believes what they are saying and
doubts that bond between us. In all truth he knows me better than any of them.
That’s because we are very much alike.
Nick
is my partner, my best friend and my big brother. He’s the other part of my
soul that I have searched for all my life. When I found him, I found the
greatest gift of all, and I will forever treasure this special gift God has
bestowed upon me.
He
wants his gift to tell me what I mean to him. But I already know, because he
already gave me something that money couldn’t buy.
I sit
here beside the beautiful Christmas tree that stands in the parlor. Nick and I
searched high and low for this tree. Jarrod popped the popcorn in the fireplace
then Gene and Audra strung them on a line. We all worked and laughed together
as we transformed this massive parlor into a Christmas extravaganza. I couldn’t
help but join in the fun of this time honored Barkley tradition for it has now
become my own.
I
guess that’s why I can understand how they feel. I am sitting here itching
about the gifts I have placed under the tree and hoping they like what I gave
them. Jarrod and Gene sure could use that fine leather satchel I made for each
of them. Jarrod can carry around his lawyer papers as he fights for the client
everyone else believes should hang. Gene can carry around his medical books
from one classroom to the next. He’s hinted about all the books he has to carry
so I know he will like what I got him. When I saw that beautiful music box in
the General Store I just knew Audra would love it. I can’t wait until she hears
the beautiful song it plays. It’s music an angel would play. And Mother, I
really hope she loves that pearl necklace. The store clerk said the pearls came
directly from the ocean. The beautiful colors shine in the sunlight and I can
vision the picture of beauty when she wears it around her neck.
And
Nick. I had a special painting ordered of him and his beloved horse. Jarrod
helped me find a picture amongst the stack of albums that I could give the
painter. When I saw the completed work I was so proud. It is so lifelike you
almost feel that horse and rider will jump off the canvas. Nick doesn’t think I’ve
noticed, but I’ve caught him stealing glances at the wrapped gift ever since I
put it under the tree tonight. He’s trying to figure out what it could be. I
can’t help but smile for that little boy inside of him. He wants to shake it, I
know him, but he won’t do it as long as I’m in the room. As the night goes on I
get more anxious to see his face when he opens it. I keep reliving that vision
of him hanging that painting in his room knowing he’ll always have a part of
his old friend with him long after he’s gone.
You
see Coco is getting up in age and it won’t be long now until Nick will have to
retire him. I know something about the special bond between a man and his
horse. My horse, Gal is just as special to me. It will be hard on Nick to
finally come to terms with the fact Coco’s not the horse he use to be. So maybe
if he has this painting of him and Coco it’ll be easier for him to say goodbye
to his friend.
Listen
to me. I am doing exactly what they are doing. Fussing over presents. I guess
the spirit of Christmas has caught me as I watch my beloved family. Tonight is
Christmas Eve and we’ll be going into town for the tree lighting soon. There’s
a dance at the Hotel after the lighting ceremony, and then we'll gather at
Church for services. It will be the greatest first Christmas of many more with
my new family. For we’ll spend lots of time together and that’s something you
can’t buy.
Someday
I know it’s coming when all of us won’t be together at Christmas. It doesn’t
seem possible but Mother turned 73 this year. We’re all married now and have
children of our own but we still make sure to celebrate Christmas together as
if it was our first and last.
Jarrod
and Gene have returned home with their families. Jarrod is serving his second
term as Senator and there’s talk he could even become the next President. Gene
carried on as the town Doctor when Howard Merar retired. The well-known Dr.
Barkley helped build the new hospital in Stockton and there’s talk he might
serve abroad. Audra lives close by with her husband Carl Wheeler and their
beautiful children. She and Mother are still very close and a week doesn’t go
by when they don’t see one another. As for Nick and me, we have raised our
families together in this place I call home. Our children are more like
siblings than cousins and if you didn’t know better you’d swear our wives were
sisters, for they are just as close as Nick and me.
It's
hard to imagine that all of this has come to an angry man who demanded his
share of what was Barkley. If only I knew what that entailed maybe I would have
been more prepared when I rode up to this ranch that early day in March so many
years ago demanding my rights.
This
family says I've given them the greatest gift of all. But they have given me
something more precious then all these material possessions can obtain. And to
pay back all they have given me, I’ll pass on to my own children something they
can’t buy.
The
greatest Christmas present is something you can’t buy…
THE
END
Based
on a song performed by The Statler Brothers that can be found on their
Christmas Album "The Statler Brothers Christmas Card".