You Raise Me Up

Chapters 31-39

by Bonnie

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 31

Nick left Heath’s bedroom and started walking towards his bedroom when he stopped, turned on his heels and descended the grand staircase. When he entered the Library he saw Jarrod sitting at the desk.

“I guess now would be a good time to say I told you so.” Nick teased as he took a seat on the sofa.

“You mean he’s letting you go with him?” Jarrod asked surprised.

“Yep he did at that.” Nick beamed as Jarrod shook his head in disbelief.

“You didn’t force him did you?”

“Force him?” Nick laughed. “Pappy, could anyone force Heath to do something he didn’t want to do?” Nick looked at Jarrod, who was not convinced, and blared, “No, blast it, I didn’t force him!”

“I hope your trip goes well.”

“Getting that stubborn little brother of ours to realize what family is all about should be fun.” Nick grinned.

“Well, he just needs a little help in that area Nick.”

“He’s not the only one.” Nick replied, as Jarrod looked at him confused. “You could use a reminder yourself about family, Pappy.”

“Nick!” Jarrod warned his brother.

“How are we going to get Heath to understand about family if you can’t seem to understand it yourself?”

“It’s not that simple,” Jarrod growled.

“Tell Heath that.” Nick replied as he lost patience with his brother and stood up from the sofa. Nick had his hand on the library door when Jarrod’s quiet words tore through his heart.

“Rosa had a miscarriage.”

“What?” Nick gasped as he turned around. “Oh Pappy,” Nick ran his hands through his hair wondering what to say and only coming up with “I’m sorry.”

“I thought bringing her to the ranch would help but it seems to only have pushed us further apart.”

Nick leaned his head against the library door. The words from his brother were spoken with a kind of pain and guilt he hadn’t heard since their father had died. He wanted a way to help his older brother who always seemed to know how to help him. But he had no answers. Standing up straight he turned around and returned to the sofa as he sat beside Jarrod in silence. If he couldn’t help him with words he would help him with his support. Neither brother moved for a half-hour as they allowed their silent support as brothers to work its magic. Finally Nick had come up with an idea and his face formed into a big smile.

“You know what you two need? Some romance!”

“Romance?” Jarrod growled. “Nick, that’s what got us in this mess.”

“No what I mean is that you need to act like you did when you were courting her, before you proposed.”

“Nick!” Jarrod sighed with frustration. He bent over covering his face in his hands with his elbows on his knees.

“Now hear me out Jarrod. You and Rosa have been together for so long that I think you forgot what it was like to court her. You two have been acting like you should be sitting on the veranda in rocking chairs watching your grandkids play in the yard not preparing for your wedding.”

“Court her?”

“Yes, court her!” Nick replied as he slapped his brother on the back. “Remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place Pappy.”

“There is the July Fourth picnic with a dance before the fireworks.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Nick laughed.

“Thanks Nick,” Jarrod said as he and his brother stood up. “You’re right, even I need to be reminded about family.”

“We all need a reminder from time to time, Big Brother.” The brothers left the library and walked upstairs to their rooms in companionable silence.

* * * * * * * *

The sun had risen in the sky as Nick and Heath finished placing the tarp over the wagon. The entire family was up to see the brothers off on their trip. Victoria still wasn’t convinced Nick should leave.

“Now Nick I want you to take it easy. Are you sure you’re well enough for this trip?”

“I’m fine Mother,” Nick sighed from the coddling. Heath was ensuring the ropes on the tarp were secure as he bowed his head trying to hide his lop-sided smile. Boy Howdy, could that woman coddle!

“I’ll make sure he sits in the back of the wagon with the supplies,” Heath teased as he brought his head up revealing the glint in his eye. Nick nailed his brother with a glare letting him know he didn’t think the joke was funny. Jarrod, Rosa and Audra stood back giggling at the teasing and coddling Nick was being subjected to.

“I think-“

“Mother! I’m not riding in the back! I’m fine!” Nick replied cutting off his mother’s words.

“Fine,” Victoria sighed realizing she had lost the battle. Duke and Hattie joined the family in the front of the mansion.

“Nick, Heath! I have some applesauce cake for your trip.” Hattie smiled as she walked up to the boys.

“Thanks Hattie,” Nick grinned as he took the freshly baked cake from the woman’s hands and smelled the aroma. “Got two of those or is this one just for me?”

“You share this one, young man.” Hattie replied with a smile as she affectionately swatted his arm.

“Hattie, you should know by now that Nick never shares.” Audra laughed.

“Well neither do I,” Heath replied as he quickly took the cake out of Nick’s unsuspecting hands eliciting laughter from the observers.

“Boy!” Nick growled, trying to hide his enjoyment at his brother teasing him.

“Oh dear,” Victoria shook her head. “I don’t think Miss Caulfield has any idea what she’s in for.”

“Mr. Nick an Mr. Heath, I made some fixin’s for your trip.” Silas said proudly as he walked outside handing Nick a bag.

“Thanks Silas, now at least I might be safe from having to eat Heath’s beans.”

“That’s what you think,” Heath whispered in Nick’s ear.

“You boys don’t need to worry about a thing with the ranch.” Duke smiled as he patted the back of both ranchers. “The men and I will take care of everything.” When Duke finished talking he gave Nick a knowing look. Nick acknowledged the silent communication with a nod and a wink.

“Thanks Duke.” Nick smiled as he shook the foreman’s hand.

“Thanks Duke.” Heath smiled as he also shook the foreman’s hand. Heath then looked at Hattie and she offered him a big hug. “Thanks for the cake Mrs. M.”

“You’re welcome honey. You enjoy your trip and make it home safely. I’m real anxious to meet Miss Caulfield and Miss James. Victoria and I plan to make them feel very welcomed in Stockton.”

“I know ya will.” Heath replied with a lop-sided grin. He turned his attention towards Victoria. “We’ll be home in a couple weeks. It takes about three days to get to Strawberry and back. I’ll wire ya before we leave.”

“Be safe,” Victoria quietly said as she hugged Heath.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything he shouldn’t,” Heath said as he tilted his head in Nick’s direction.

”I know.” Victoria replied with a smile.

The brothers offered farewells to the rest of the family before they jumped up into the wagon seat. Heath took hold of the reins and watched as Nick joined him. He winked as he pointed a thumb to the bag of the wagon.

“Last chance to sit back there, Big Brother,” Heath chuckled.

“Just don’t be hitting every pot hole from here to Strawberry, Boy!” Nick growled as he sat back and pulled the hat over his face. Heath shook his head as he flicked the reins. The family stood on the veranda waving as the wagon began down the path. Hattie saw the look of sadness on Victoria’s face and she put her arm around her friend’s shoulder.

“I just love him so,” Victoria spoke quietly to only Hattie’s ears. Hattie didn’t have to ask who ‘him’ was as she already knew it was the young man who became her son not by blood but by the love in her heart. Victoria’s eyes welled up with tears as she heard Hattie’s quiet reply.

“I know, Victoria, I know.”

* * * * * * * *

The ranch hands were sitting on the front porch of the bunkhouse as they watched the ranchers leave out of site. Duke spoke to the men the previous evening and informed them Nick would be joining Heath on his trip to Strawberry. For Nick to leave the ranch in their care was a great honor. The men were determined to make Nick proud. They had let him down once before by giving Heath a hard time in the beginning and they were determined not to do it again.

Chapter 32

Sunday services had ended and the parishioners were leaving the white building. The hot sun was beaming down on the men and women as they tried to find some shade. Reverend Lewis was standing at the doorway as he shook hands with those leaving. Victoria and Audra stepped up and shook hands with the Reverend as they exited the building.

“Audra, I must say your piano playing sounds more beautiful every Sunday.” Reverend Lewis complimented.

“Thank you Reverend.” Audra blushed.

“She practices every day Reverend, it’s good to see it showing.” Victoria spoke with pride in her voice. “That was a lovely sermon. I enjoyed it a great deal.”

“Thank you Victoria. It’s good to know not all of my parishioners fall asleep during my sermons.” The Reverend and the ladies laughed as they stepped down the stairs and went their separate directions. Victoria went over towards longtime friend Wally Miles while Audra went over towards Robert Wheeler.

“Uncle Robert,” Audra smiled as she knelt down and hugged the older gentleman in his wheelchair.

“Audra dear you look like an angel,” Robert smiled as he returned the young girl’s hug.

“Thank you Uncle Robert. Are you and Carl coming over for lunch today?”

“Sorry Tagalong, not today.” Carl answered as he and his girlfriend Susan walked up to his father.

“Tagalong?” Susan chuckled. “What a sweet childhood nickname. Where on earth did it come from?” Audra put on her best smile but didn’t say a word. Carl tightened his grip on Susan’s hand as he smiled and looked at Audra and laughed.

“That’s because she’d followed me and Nick around everywhere we went. We couldn’t do anything without Tagalong joining us.”

“Everywhere?” Susan looked into Carl’s brown eyes curiously.

“Everywhere.” Carl answered. “Whether we were fishing, riding, you name it and Tagalong was there.”

“Oh how unladylike,” Susan scoffed. “Sure does explain some things.”

“What does that mean Susan?” Audra asked coolly.

“You always seemed more into acting like a boy then you did as a young lady that’s all. Not to mention wearing your brothers pants.” Susan replied innocently. Audra was about to make a response that wasn’t very ladylike when Robert spoke up.

“Audra here has come a long way from that child. She’s turned into a very lovely lady, hasn’t she Carl?” Robert asked.

“She’s very sweet,” Carl replied.

“Sweet?” Robert mumbled to himself. “Boy what you use for brains…” Audra was the only one to hear the older man’s words and couldn’t help but chuckle. She attempted to cover the chuckle with a cough.

“Did you say something Father?” Carl asked, already aware the mumbling had been about him.

“Nothing Son, nothing at all.”

“Well I better get going.” Audra smiled. “Carl, Susan enjoy your day. It was good seeing you again Uncle Robert.” Audra turned around and left the Wheeler family as she shook her head. She was so upset over Carl and Susan’s display that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. Before she knew it she ran smack into Benjamin Lewis.

“Audra!” Ben smiled as he put his arms on Audra’s shoulders to steady the young girl from running into him. Ben was a shy young man with red hair and green eyes. He was the same age as Audra and had carried a crush on the girl since their days in school. Ben was well aware of Audra’s crush on Carl Wheeler and felt he’d never have a chance to win her heart.

“Ben,” Audra smiled. “I’m sorry for running into you.”

“That’s all right.” Ben tilted his head in Carl’s direction. “Saw ya talking to Mr. Wheeler and his girl. Hope they didn’t upset ya?”

“No I’m fine.” Audra waved off his concern.

“Good.” Ben smiled shyly.

“How’s your mother? I heard she was ill.”

“She’s doing much better, thank you.”

“You still working at the feed mill?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Audra paused. She thought Ben was a nice person but he barely said two words to her because he was so shy. “Well I should be getting to my Mother. I’m sure she’s ready to head home.”

“Audra?”

“Yes?” Audra stopped and turned around.

“The July Fourth celebration is next week and I was wondering if…well…if ya ain’t doing anything…I thought maybe…”

“You thought what Ben?”

“Well…I was wondering…if…ya would like to go together?” Ben looked shyly down at the ground as Audra smiled.

“I’d be honored to go to the celebration with you Ben.” Audra announced. Ben looked at the blonde girl in complete shock until his face turned into a big smile. Audra gasped as her heart stopped beating for a second when she saw his beautiful smile.

“Well I’ll see ya then?” Ben smiled and he tipped his hat before walking away.

“See ya then,” Audra smiled. “Tell your mother I said hello.” Audra turned and walked towards her mother, who was talking to Wally Miles.

“…I think she’s just missing Evan.” Wally replied.

“I can understand that.” Victoria replied. “I hate it when Jarrod leaves for San Francisco for long periods of time. I know once he and Rosa marry they’ll more than likely be making their home there and to be honest I’m not looking forward to it.”

“It’s funny isn’t it Victoria. We can’t wait for our children to grow up but when they do we don’t want them to leave home.” Wally laughed. Wally looked at the young blonde girl as she stood by her mother. “Look at this little lady. I remember the day she was born. Now she’s got all the men in the Valley looking to marry her.”

“Oh Mr. Miles,” Audra blushed.

“Well at least I’ll have her around for sometime before I have to worry about her running off and getting married.” Victoria patted her daughter’s arm in pride.

“I better get on home Victoria.” Wally tipped his hat at the ladies.

“Tell Jenny I will call on her this afternoon.”

“I will Victoria,” Wally paused. “Thank you, I know your visit will do her some good.”

“Not a problem. Goodbye Wally.” The ladies watched as Wally Miles walked over towards his buggy and climbed in to take the reins.

“When is Evan coming home, Mother?”

“Wally was hoping he’d be able to come home this fall.”

“In time for my birthday party?” Audra beamed.

“Wally said there is a small chance he might be home in time to attend your party.” Victoria replied with a hint of teasing in her voice.

“Oh Mother!” Audra hugged Victoria. “I haven’t seen Evan in so long, it’ll be good to see him again. That will be a fine birthday present.”

“I know dear, and it will make Jenny happy to have her son home.” Victoria released herself from the hug as they began to walk towards their buggy.

“Victoria!” Mrs. Kleeber hollered.

“Oh Lord, give me patience.” Victoria mumbled eliciting a chuckle from Audra. Turning around and offering her best smile Victoria greeted the town gossip. “Hello Mrs. Kleeber, how are you today?”

“Good, good!” Mrs. Kleeber fanned herself with her kerchief. “Sure is a hot one today though. The Reverend was a tad longwinded knowing it was so hot out don’t you think?”

“Actually I thought he gave a lovely sermon.” Victoria politely smiled.

“Well yes.” Mrs. Kleeber paused and grabbed Victoria’s hand. “How is Nick doing Victoria?”

“He’s recovering very well. In fact he’s doing so well that he and Heath have taken a trip.”

“Oh My!” The woman gasped as she put her kerchief to her mouth. “So it was true. I heard they had left for…” she lowered her voice to a whisper “Strawberry. Isn’t that the town where his mother is from?”

“Why yes Miss Leah is from Strawberry Mrs. Kleeber. Heath and Nick are bringing back Heath’s Aunt Rachel and a longtime friend Miss James. They will be moving here to Stockton. I’m sure you’ve heard about the house that was being fixed up here in town?”

“Why yes I heard the news but I surely didn’t want to believe it was true.”

“Why not?”

“Well it’s just that…how can you have her friends here so close to you?

“Those fine ladies helped raise Heath, Mrs. Kleeber. I’m looking forward to meeting them.” Victoria smiled as she continued. “In fact we are also going to relocate Miss Leah here to Stockton’s graveyard as well. That way Heath won’t have to travel so far to visit his mother’s grave.”

“I will pray for you Victoria, I know this must be very hard for you.” Mrs. Kleeber patted Victoria’s arm. “You are putting on a very brave front for the community but this must be killing you.”

Victoria looked at the woman stunned by her words. Mrs. Kleeber walked away satisfied she had done her Christian duty.

“Why that woman!” Audra seethed. “Does she even read her bible or listen to one word Reverend Lewis says in church?”

“Oh she listens dear, but it goes out one ear as fast as it goes in the other.” Victoria paused and smiled. “Let’s not think about her. We should get on home. Jarrod and Rosa should be there after their services with Padre Sanchez.” The ladies climbed inside their buggy as Victoria flicked the reins and they headed towards the ranch.

**Trivia: Mrs. Kleeber is from the episode “Guilty.” Wally and Jenny Miles and their son Evan are from the episode “My Son, My Son.”

Chapter 33

Heath was driving the wagon and every few minutes he would steal a glance at his brother. They had been on the road for a day and a half. The rough travelling and the hot sun had been taking its toll on both men, but it was worse on Nick, although he would never admit it. Heath wondered if he’d make it the entire trip. His brother was healing nicely from the gunshot wound but he was still not fully recovered, even if he thought he was. Heath used the excuse of the hot sun, to stop and allow the horses to rest. Nick never vocally questioned the frequent breaks only because he was grateful for them. Finding a nice shaded area near a lake, Heath decided to stop the wagon for the night.

Heath jumped down out of the wagon. When Nick tried to help remove the harness on the horses Heath stopped him. “I’ll do this Nick, why don’t you set out the food?”

Nick nodded his response as he gingerly walked to the back of the wagon. He gathered the provisions Silas had made for them and walked over to the lake. Once the harnesses were removed, Heath took the horses to the lake to let them drink, then joined Nick under the oak tree.

“Boy Howdy, I’m starved.”

“Yeah me too, glad we still have some of Silas’s fixings with us.”

“You afraid I’d make ya eat my beans?” Heath teased.

“You bet,” Nick laughed.

* * * * * * * *

After lunch was eaten the brothers remained under the tree enjoying the shade.

“Ya know what sounds good?” Heath asked.

“Hmm?”

“A swim in that lake,” Heath replied with a lop-sided grin and mischief in his eyes.

“Let’s go for it!” Nick replied as he smacked Heath on the back and stood up.

The brothers undressed and jumped feet first into the water.

“Boy Howdy!” Heath gasped when he reached the surface.

“WHEW!” Nick hollered as he came up shaking his head causing the water to splash everywhere, including on Heath.

“Hey!” Heath said as he splashed Nick.

“What’d you do that for?” Nick asked.

“Well ya splashed water on me.”

“I did not!”

“Did to!”

“Did not!”

“Did to!”

“Oh you think I splashed water on you huh, well this is what happens when I splash water on you boy!” Nick proudly announced as he splashed water on Heath. Not to be outdone, Heath splashed him back. The brothers were laughing as they splashed water on each other. They were still laughing as they climbed out of the lake. They each took out a towel from the back of the wagon and dried off before getting dressed. Both of the men had left their shirts unbuttoned to remain cool from the sun. Once they were dressed they sat under the tree.

“Looks like it’s getting better.” Heath said as he saw the gunshot wound on Nick’s chest.

“That’s what I keep saying!”

“You’re just frustrated about not working Nick, but ya will.”

“I know!” Nick replied waving his hand in the air.

“After the Doc gives his approval for ya to start workin’ we’ll have to celebrate at the Saloon.”

“You got that right!” Nick smiled with contentment before he scowled. “I sure do miss Scarlet!”

“Scarlet? Oh that’s right she’s the blonde that comes over to ya when you’re there.”

”Yeah me and Scarlet go way back!”

“How far back?”

“Since I was sixteen.”

“Sixteen? She your first?”

“Yep!” Nick replied. “Who was yours?”

“Lupe.”

“Lupe?” Nick paused and then he laughed. “LUPE?! She’s the one that you mumble about in Spanish when you’re fevered! I always wondered what you were mumbling about in Spanish, now I get the idea.”

“Nick!” Heath chastised. “So what do I say exactly when I’m fevered?”

“Wouldn’t you want to know,” Nick smirked.

“Nick,” Heath demanded. “Tell me.”

“And what are you gonna do about it boy?” Nick teased good-naturedly but once he spoke the words Nick froze. His mind traveled back to a time when those same words were said with malicious intent.

“In fact boy the Barkley’s are too good that I doubt the big man woulda slept with a whore like yer Mama.” Barrett laughed as he poked Heath in the chest. Heath grabbed Barrett’s fingers and stared him down.

“Ya better watch it Barrett. Ya can say whatever ya like ‘bout me but leave my mother outta this.” Heath paused before he pronounced each of his words very carefully. “And. Don’t. Call. Me. Boy.”

“And whatcha gonna do about it boy?” Barrett didn’t get any further with his insults as Heath’s right hook took the man by surprise and he landed on the ground. Barrett bounced up on his feet and he lunged at Heath as both men fell to the ground.

Heath saw the look on Nick’s face and he couldn’t understand what put it there. They were joking around and having a good time. He wondered what changed.

“Nick?” Heath tried to get his brother’s attention. “Nick?”

His brother’s voice pulled Nick out of his reverie as he stared at Heath.

“Barrett said those words to you before you fought. You told him not to call you boy.”

“And whatcha gonna do about it boy?” Heath sighed as he remembered all too well that day in the camp.

“It was different with Barrett, Nick. I never put the two together until ya just said somethin’.”

“Different?”

“Yeah different. Barrett said ‘boy’ the same way my Uncle Matt and Aunt Martha say it. Like it’s a put down, like they were belittling me. You say it the way my Aunt Rachel says it.”

“And how does your Aunt say it?” Nick smirked.

“Never mind,” Heath replied. “Just know it’s different.”

“All right, no need to get defensive,” Nick teased.

“It’s late, I think I’ll turn in. Night.” Heath gathered his bedroll and snuggled inside.

“Changing the subject. Must’ve learned that from Jarrod.” Nick mumbled as he gathered his own bedroll to turn in. “Night.”

* * * * * * * *

The next morning Heath had breakfast ready by the time Nick woke up. Nick rolled up his bedroll and placed it in the back of the wagon before he walked into the trees. He returned a few minutes later and joined Heath for breakfast. “How was the sunrise?”

“Good,” Heath replied between the bites of his food.

“We’ll have to go up to the North Ridge when we get back. Last time we were there was before the drive.”

“Sounds good,” Heath replied. He didn’t tell his brother he had returned there by himself when Nick was bedridden from the shooting. He had to admit that returning to the spot wasn’t the same without his brother joining him.

“You’ve been up there haven’t you?” Nick asked reading his thoughts. He saw the hesitation in Heath’s face. “It’s all right if you have. I know I haven’t been well enough to join you.”

“It wasn’t the same without ya Nick.” Heath replied. “Kinda got use to havin’ ya join me for the sunrise.”

“Who would’ve guessed I’d be looking forward to getting up at the crack of dawn to watch an orange ball go up the sky!” Nick laughed.

“I always knew you were crazy Big Brother,” Heath teased in reference to his brother’s belief why anyone would lose sleep to watch the sunrise. Nick tried to swat at him but missed.

“You just wait till I’m healed boy! Then I’m going to take care of that mouth of yours.”

“Ya couldn’t do it before Nick so who says ya can do it now?”

The brothers continued to enjoy teasing each other until it was time to leave. They packed up their final provisions as they drove out of camp. They would arrive in Strawberry in a day and a half. Both brothers were anxious about arriving in the deserted town…but for two very different reasons.

Chapter 34

Two days later the brothers arrived in Strawberry. As the wagon entered the deserted mining town the brothers tensed. Heath always hated this town and his return caused old memories to resurface. Nick had heard about this town and how the place caused pain for his brother. As he looked around he tried to envision the place when it was alive, vibrant and full of life. They were the lone riders on a deserted street where wind kicked up the dust and dead cactus bushes floated across the street leaving a line in its path as the only proof of its existence.

As the wagon passed the hotel Nick looked the place over with his hazel eyes. He caught the flash of the curtains in an upstairs window. As he turned to focus further the curtain was returned and flapping from the breeze caused by the open window. His hazel eyes turned black and narrowed as he realized they knew his brother had returned.

Heath drove the wagon on the main street until the road veered off to the left down a winding path outside of town.

“Is this where you grew up, Heath?” Nick asked as the wagon stopped in front of a small cabin.

“Yup,” Heath replied as he jumped down.

The cabin was small with a door, one window and a small porch in front. Flowers were planted around the porch and a pathway went down the small dirt walkway where there was a hitching post. An older plump woman with graying brown hair wearing an old brown dress opened the front door and ran into the arms of the blond cowboy.

“HEATH!”

“Aunt Rachel,” Heath smiled as he bear-hugged the older woman. “I’ve missed ya somethin’ fierce.”

“Oh I’ve missed you too my boy,” Rachel kissed Heath on the cheek and then used her arms to pull him back. “Now let me take a look at you! Still skinny as a fence post I see! Don’t they feed you?”

“Of course they feed me Aunt Rachel,” Heath sighed as his Aunt made him turn around so she could inspect him thoroughly. Nick stood back and wore a big smile on his face as he saw the love shining brightly in this woman’s face. Heath looked over towards Nick and realized he wasn’t going to help him in a rescue.

“Aunt Rachel, I’d like ya to meet my brother Nick. He decided to join me on the trip.”

“Oh my! Forgive my bad manners Mr. Barkley!” Rachel smiled as she reached out a hand to Nick, who had walked over to stand beside Heath. “I just haven’t seen this boy in a long time and I’ve missed him. I didn’t know he was bringing someone with him.”

“The name’s Nick and there’s no need to apologize Ma’am. I understand.” Nick smiled as he took the offered hand. “I hope it’s all right that I’ve joined Heath?”

“Oh of course it’s all right, Mr. Bar…uh Nick.” Rachel paused. “Nick is short for your full Christian name of Nicholas is it not?”

“Yes Ma’am it is.” Nick frowned not liking where this was going.

“Then Nicholas it is.” Rachel replied with a smile. She then looked towards her nephew. “Heath, Hannah’s inside the cabin. I know she’d love to see you.”

“Thanks Aunt Rachel.” Heath smiled as he picked up a crate from the wagon. “We brought supplies for ya while we’re here.” Nick went to the back of the wagon to stand beside Heath and picked up a crate to carry into the cabin. Heath looked over towards his brother and smirked. “Now Nicholas, maybe ya shouldn’t do that. I don’t want ya to get hurt.” Heath chuckled when he heard his brother’s quiet mumble, “it’s Nick, you jackass!”

Rachel walked behind the brothers as they went into the cabin. “Oh Heath told me in his last letter you were injured on the drive Nicholas. How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing just fine Miss. Caulfield thank you.” Nick smiled as he continued to carry the crate into the cabin. He followed Heath’s lead and placed the crate against the far back wall near the backdoor.

As Nick walked into the small cabin he saw an iron double bed by the fireplace with a trunk at the foot of the bed. A big pot was hanging from the fireplace bringing an aroma into the cabin. An older colored woman was sitting in the rocking chair at the opposite end of the fireplace. A table and four chairs were in the middle of the floor. The old pantry cupboard was on the opposite wall. A ladder beside the pantry led to the loft upstairs. A door on the back wall led to the back of the cabin.

“Heath!” Hannah smiled as she stood from the rocking chair and reached out her arms to the young man. Heath tightly hugged the older woman.

“Aunt Hannah, it’s good to see ya.” Heath spoke as he kissed her cheek and she kissed his.

“My boy’s home,” Hannah smiled as she patted his bottom when he released her from the hug and turned around.

“Aunt Hannah, this here’s my brother Nick.” Heath offered the introductions.

“Pleasure to meet ya Mista Barkley.” Hannah spoke as she held Nick’s hand in both of hers.

“The pleasure is all mine Miss. James and please call me Nick.” Nick smiled at the woman who nodded and smiled at him.

“Let’s get the rest of the crates Nick,” Heath said as they walked outside to carry the rest of the supplies inside. “Well that’s everything,” Heath replied as he and Nick returned to the cabin. “I’ll go take the wagon and horses to the livery.”

“I can do that Heath, why don’t you stay and visit with your Aunts?” Nick suggested.

“Nah, I can go. Aunt Rachel, can ya check Nick over? We’ve been on the road for about four days and I wanna make sure he doesn’t have a relapse.”

“I’m fine Heath,” Nick growled.

“Well why don’t we just make sure of that. Now you didn’t take this trip all this way when you weren’t completely healed did you?” Rachel huffed as she led Nick to the table. “Stubborn…I can already see the resemblance between you and your brother Nicholas.”

He so hated being called Nicholas. He reluctantly followed her as Heath smiled at him and tipped his hat before he walked out the door. Nick sneered as he watched Heath leave the small cabin. Rachel had directed him near the table and stood in front of him.

“Why don’t you remove your shirt and let me have a look!” Rachel ordered.

“Uh really Miss. Caulfield there’s no-“

“Nonsense!” Rachel raised her hand in the air. “I will not have you getting sick in my home Nicholas!” Nick looked into the older woman’s brown eyes and saw a determination he had only seen in his mother. Like his mother, Nick realized this woman was not someone to cross. He released a deep sigh and quickly did as the woman requested. Once his shirt was unbuttoned Rachel removed the bandage and inspected the gunshot wound. Hannah had come closer and gasped when she saw the ugly redness.

“Oh My! Nicholas needs some a my special medicine, Rachel.” Hannah spoke as she began to leave the cabin for her home. “I’z be right back.”

“Thanks Hannah.” Rachel replied as she walked towards the pantry to gather some white cloth for wrapping. “Hannah’s special medicine is a mix she fixed up herself, Nicholas. She learned how to make it when she was a slave. It’s very effective. We’ve used it on many occasions and it works wonders.”

“Thanks Miss Caulfield, just don’t want any of you to go to any trouble.”

“It’s no trouble,” Rachel smiled at him. Heath walked into the cabin with Hannah. Heath stood back and smiled at his brother. Nick narrowed his eyes at the blond.

“So what’s the verdict Aunt Rachel, will he live?”

“OF COURSE I’LL LIVE!” Nick yelled at his brother.

“Now Big Brother this cabin’s a bit small for uh…your boisterous voice.” Heath grinned as Nick growled. Rachel laughed as she re-bandaged the wound.

“Maybe you boys would like to take your things to the loft and freshen up a bit. Supper will be ready in a half hour.”

“Sure thing Aunt Rachel.” Heath smiled as he picked up his saddlebags and smacked Nick on the back. “And I promise ya that despite the growlin’ from the ole’ bear he doesn’t bite.”

“That’s nice to know Heath.” Rachel turned around and walked towards the fireplace to stir the contents in the pot as she laughed. “It’s nice to know this time the stray you brought home doesn’t bite.”

“A stray? Me?!” Nick bellowed as everyone in the small cabin burst into laughter. Nick looked at Heath and hissed “Boy, I swear I’ll get you back.”

“Me, Nicholas? Why what for?” Heath asked innocently.

“That choir-boy innocence of yours doesn’t work on me boy so just cut it out right now! And stop calling me Nicholas!” Nick's eyes narrowed, as he tapped Heath's chest with his finger.

Heath chuckled as the brothers climbed the ladder and entered the loft. The loft wasn’t as large as the lower level, allowing an opening to a quarter of the space below. There was a double iron bed, just like the one on the first floor, covered with white sheets and an old quilt with squares of many colors including green, white, and pink in varied designs. The quilt looked to be made of old material, probably from old clothes no longer able to wear. The nightstand adorned with an oil lamp, a small wooden desk with an old rusty sewing machine placed on top and a chair pushed underneath were to the right. The aged four-drawer mirrored chest with a worn white pitcher and basin on top and a small window were to the left. Nick frowned as he realized there were no toys or any sign of a boy who had grown into a man in this room.

Heath had walked over to the other side of the bed and opened the window. Once the window opened the summer breeze could be felt blowing through their hair. Heath gave a lop-sided smile as he felt the air brush across his face, yet again receiving the sense of freedom from no longer feeling he was in a closed space.

“Which side is yours?” Nick pointed to the bed.

“I usually sleep on this side.” Heath answered pointing to the side of the bed that was closest to the window. He smirked at his brother. “But then I ain’t use to sharin’ either.”

“First time for everything,” Nick smirked as he sat down on the bed. He took his medicine out of his saddlebags and placed the bottle on the nightstand. “Now you aren’t planning to kick me out of bed are you?”

“Are you?” Heath countered as he placed his clothes from his saddlebags into the chest of drawers. The brothers laughed. “You can put your clothes in here if ya want.”

“All right, thanks.” Nick walked over and followed his brother’s lead.

“There’s a pump outside the back door. We can wash up before supper.” Heath spoke as he began to climb down the ladder. “Ya ready?”

“Yep, right behind you.” Nick followed Heath down the ladder.

“Did you boys get settled?” Rachel asked as she and Hannah began to set the table.

“Yeah we did,” Heath answered. “We’re just gonna wash up before supper.”

“All right.” Rachel smiled as she handed Heath a bucket. “Fill this with water while you’re out there please.”

“Sure,” Heath replied as he took the bucket and the brothers walked outside.

As he walked outside behind his brother, Nick’s keen eyes scanned the backyard. There was a large oak tree with an old swing. Nick smiled as he envisioned a pint size version of Heath on that swing being pushed by his young mother. The two of them probably laughing as the little boy begged to go higher. On the left side of the oak tree was a clothesline and a tree stump where wood was cut for firewood. To the right about twenty feet away was a wooden cage where a couple chickens were kept. About fifty feet away was the outhouse. Right beside the backdoor was a rusty pump. Heath walked over and pumped the handle. Once they were finished washing Heath filled the bucket with water and they walked back inside.

“Here’s the water,” Heath replied as he placed the bucket on the stand beside the pantry cupboard. Heath filled four glasses with water and then walked to the table.

“Thanks honey,” Rachel replied. “Supper’s ready if everyone wants to have a seat.” Everyone took their seats with Rachel and Hannah taking each end. “Let’s say grace. Dear Lord, we thank you for this bounty you have placed in front of us and for allowing Heath and his brother Nicholas to make it home safely. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen,” was echoed by everyone in the room. The food was passed around as everyone enjoyed supper.

“So Nicholas Heath wrote me a letter and told me that you two are in charge of running the ranch.”

“Yes Ma’am we are.” Nick replied in between the bites of his food. He suddenly remembered the words his brother told him about what he said to his Aunt.

“Heath, why would your Aunt’s letter be about us?” Audra asked looking across the table at Heath.

“Audra, that’s private,” Victoria warned.

“That’s all right…” he almost called her Mrs. Barkley but stopped himself before the words came out. Looking at Audra he put on his best poker face. “I told my Aunt about all of ya in my last letter and this probably shares her thoughts on what I had to say.” He patted the letter in his shirt pocket.

“Well?” Audra encouraged, “what did you tell her about us?”

“I told her you were the spoiled princess that I was makin’ a rabbit cage for, that Nick was bossy and liked to tell me what to do on the range and…” he paused as he gave a heavy sigh, “that Jarrod’s a lawyer.”

The last thing he wanted to do was have this woman think horrible of him. He realized he should say something to let her know he didn’t boss Heath around, that this was an equal partnership. Nick coughed and looked towards Rachel. “Heath told me about that letter, Miss Caulfield and well I just wanted to say that you shouldn’t believe a word of what he said. None of it was true.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow as she looked at Nick. She was taken back by his words. The heartfelt words Heath wrote about his brother were very touching and full of love, she couldn’t imagine why he would deny them. She then realized her nephew’s knack at mischief and looked at him. Sure enough she saw he had bowed his head and was trying not to laugh. She tried not to laugh when she realized her nephew didn’t tell him the truth of what was in that letter. She looked over towards Nick and smiled as she assured him.

“I’ll keep that in mind Nicholas.”

Chapter 35

It was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. Rosa walked into the kitchen and turned up the oil lamp on the wall. She began to heat some milk on the stove. When finished she cradled the cup in her hands allowing the warmth to fill her chilled skin. Moments later she pulled out the letter tucked in the pocket of her satin robe. She unfolded the paper and began to read the letter. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry to have frightened you sweetheart.” Victoria spoke as she pulled out the chair beside her future daughter-in-law. “I had called out but you didn’t hear me.”

“That’s all right Victoria.” Rosa replied as her hands fumbled in the attempts to conceal the letter from her fiancée’s mother. Victoria eyed the woman for some time as she pondered her next move. She had thought long and hard in the past weeks about what could be upsetting Rosa. When the young woman and her son both refused to come to her she decided she would take the bull by the horns and confront Rosa.

“I remember when I lost a child. I never felt a pain so great, even when I lost my mother. When Charles died from the fever,” Victoria began. “Tom and I didn’t lean on each other to overcome our loss. Instead we tried to heal separately instead of together. I put all my efforts into raising Jarrod and Nick as well as helping Silas with taking care of the house.” Victoria paused and then continued.

“Tom spent his time with the business part of the ranch. It wasn’t long until we were so caught up in our own things that we didn’t even try anymore in our marriage. Of course that didn’t help us in getting over our son’s death.” Victoria’s eyes welled with tears. “That’s when Tom decided to take a trip to Strawberry. When he was gone for three months I never batted an eye. Not once did I think there was something wrong or someone else. I was too caught up in my own pain to care.”

“What…” Rosa’s voice caught in her throat. “What happened when he returned?”

“He told me he had been robbed, beaten and left for dead. The men in town weren’t happy about dealings for the mine. He said a Good Samaritan saved his life and that he would have died if they hadn’t taken him in. But…but he didn’t tell me that Good Samaritan included a beautiful young woman named Leah…and that they had relations. When I realized he could have died that was the first time I saw how I pushed him away and how for those three months I didn’t care that he was gone. If it wasn’t for the second chance I could have lost him.”

“So that was when the both of you began to heal together from losing Charles?”

“Yes. But I also noticed he was acting different. That there was something he wasn’t telling me. At first I figured he didn’t want to fix our marriage and that it was too late. But he kept insisting that wasn’t the case and that he wanted to work on it. He kept telling me that I was the most important person in his life and that he never wanted to lose me. He said he realized how much I meant to him and how much he loved me.”

“When did you learn about Leah?”

“It wasn’t long after. He spoke to Duke and he insisted that Tom tell me. So one night he…he told me.” Victoria’s voice faltered. “He never told me about the amnesia. I think he believed he would be excusing his actions.”

“How did you feel after learning he…he betrayed you like that?”

“There were so many thoughts going through my mind. I blamed myself thinking if I was a better wife and didn’t push away my husband then he wouldn’t feel he needed to find satisfaction elsewhere. And of course there was betrayal that he broke the most sacred of wedding vows.”

“How did you make it?”

“We almost didn’t,” Victoria paused. “I think it was having Jarrod and Nick around that helped. We also went to counseling with Reverend Lewis. Duke and Hattie were also there to encourage us and to lend an ear. We took it one day at a time. I can’t say when our marriage healed. I don’t think there’s an exact time or date to give. It wasn’t quick and it was a good few years before it was no longer a cloud over us. We could actually go a day without having been reminded of it. I think Audra is a testament of our survival and our healing.”

“Did you ever think a child was conceived?”

“I don’t know that we didn’t think it. It was more that we were afraid of that reality.” Tears streamed down Victoria’s face. “God forgive me, but I didn’t want a child of that relation so I told myself there never was one. We never were contacted by Leah so we fooled ourselves into thinking we were all right. We should have done the right thing and traveled to Strawberry. But…”

“Oh Victoria,” Rosa embraced the older woman.

“I think back now and I want to yell at that couple. I want to tell them that a child suffered greater than we ever did. But I can’t change what happened. I can’t change what Heath endured because of our selfish behavior.” Victoria said between the tears. Rosa pulled out of the hug and looked at her.

“That’s why you went after him the night he left the ranch. You could have let him leave and never be faced in reliving all those bad memories. But you went after him. I always wondered why.”

“I had to make it right,” Victoria simply replied.

“Are you glad you did?”

“Oh yes,” Victoria smiled without hesitation in her voice. “Heath is a remarkable young man and I am glad he’s here with us. He’s a part of us…of me.”

“Are the wounds still raw?”

“A part of me was hurt that even with amnesia that his love for me wasn’t strong enough to stop him from turning to Leah. I understand more than anyone why she didn’t say anything. As a woman and a mother I should have not ignored the possibilities. But I believe for all that’s happened, I think I’ve learned to forgive Tom and myself. Having Heath here has helped more than I realized. ”

“But if you knew about Heath back then, would your marriage have survived?”

“I don’t know,” Victoria sighed shaking her head before she repeated, “I don’t know. I guess we’ll never know, but I wish we had tried.” Victoria reached over and placed her hand on top of Rosa’s. “That’s why I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes that I did Rosa.”

“When did you know?” Rosa quietly asked.

“You and Jarrod are acting the same way that Tom and I acted all those years ago. You’re drifting apart and you’re not healing together. Your relationship won’t survive this.”

“You were married when you lost Charles, Victoria. Jarrod and I are not.”

“Does not having a ring on your finger diminish the love you have for Jarrod?”

“No!”

“Then it’s not any different.”

“This isn’t exactly the response I thought you’d give,” Rosa smirked.

“Nick doesn’t take after his father like so many people believe.” Victoria laughed. “I’ve been known to act irresponsible a time or two.” Rosa looked at her surprised. “When Tom and I were courting I drove him completely mad. Jarrod is more like his father when it comes to his personality while I’m much like Nick. I’m sure that gives you an idea of what our courtship was like.”

“Oh My!” Rosa put her hand to her mouth and chuckled. Once she controlled her laughter she stared down at the letter she had on the table. She slid the paper in front of Victoria as she spoke quietly. “I guess this is my punishment for acting irresponsible. I’ve lost everything I worked so hard to achieve.” Victoria picked up the letter and gasped as she read the words.

“Oh Rosa!” Victoria said sympathetically as she placed the letter back down on the table. “Did you tell Jarrod?”

“No,” Rosa replied.

“Talk to him Rosa, tell him. Don’t shut him out of your life. You both need each other now more than ever.”

“But…I’m scared.”

”Of what?”

“What if I can’t give Jarrod a child?”

“Only God knows the answer to that question. But are you willing to risk losing a life with Jarrod and one that could be filled with children over fear?”

“But if I can’t give him a child it isn’t fair to him.”

“Shouldn’t he have a say in that decision? It’s not fair of you not to let him decide what’s right for him and his future.” Victoria paused. “Did the Doctor say anything to you about this?”

“Can you believe Jarrod asked him if I was all right and if future children were possible?”

”What did the Doctor say?”

“He said it was possible.” Rosa replied. “But what if it’s possible I can conceive but not possible to carry the child to term?”

“Oh Rosa, those fears are reasonable. You just lost a child and under these circumstances. But don’t let that fear control your future. That’s why you and Jarrod need to work them out together. He can help you and you can help him.”

“How can I help him?”

“Oh knowing my son the way I do and I’m sure you will agree, that he’s having a hard time right now realizing if he had more control then you wouldn’t have been placed in this position. Jarrod gets after Nick all the time for acting irresponsible. Now this is one time Jarrod did what he always gets after Nick for doing.”

“But it takes two,” Rosa countered.

“True, but just as you are letting your fear and doubts of future children get in the way Jarrod’s own fear and doubts are also getting in the way.”

“Oh Victoria I didn’t realize!”

“I know…believe me I know.”

Chapter 36

The following morning Heath turned onto his back and stretched like a cat. He released a big yawn and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He smiled as his brother’s loud snoring filled the air. He saw his brother peacefully asleep. Nick was lying on his back with his right hand resting over his bare chest and the left hand was beside his head that had been turned to the side on the pillow. Heath looked out the window, and smiled when he saw he had enough time to catch the sunrise. He pushed the sheet off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up and worked quietly as he removed his pajama bottom and dressed in his tan pants, blue shirt and tan vest. He stopped in front of the dresser as he combed his hair and placed his tobacco pouch on his belt and put it through the loops. He picked up his boots and tucked them under his right arm as he padded across the loft towards the ladder. He stole one more glance at his slumbering brother before he climbed down.

Rachel was sleeping in the bed beside the fireplace. Heath chuckled when he watched her. He had forgotten his Aunt snored almost as loud as Nick. He shook his head as he quietly padded toward the backdoor. He shut the door behind him and sat down on the small stoop as he pulled on his boots. He jumped up and took a trek to the outhouse before he began walking across the field that went around to the front of the cabin. Despite the fact that Strawberry was a dying town it was still very beautiful. If it hadn’t been for the bad memories of the people who lived in this town and how they treated Heath and his family he would have to admit the place wouldn’t have been so bad to live.

Hannah’s own cabin wasn’t far to the left of where Heath grew up. When he was a boy Rachel and Hannah lived in their small cabin together allowing Leah and Heath the privacy of their own home. But when Heath moved away after his return home from the war it was the same time Leah’s health began to decline with cancer. Rachel moved in with Leah to help care for her, knowing that the former slave would enjoy the privileges that came with the independence of living alone. The three women would eat their meals together and on most occasions spend the evening before bed talking and sharing their secrets. When bedtime arrived Hannah would leave for her own place. When Heath was home he would be a gentleman and escort her home and make sure she locked up before he left.

As Heath walked towards the front of the cabin he kept walking straight through the fields in the direction of the woods. There was a creek about ten yards from the cabin that was at the edge of the massive wooded area. The wilderness was the home for many kinds of wildlife. Including a deer that was now grazing on the grass near the edge of the trees. The venison looked up and saw Heath coming closer causing the animal to disappear into the wilderness fearing for its safety. The backdrop behind the trees were the large mountains that offered a landscape of serenity when standing on the porch of the small cabin. When he was a child Heath would roam the area looking for ways to supply food for his little family. The creek held lots of activities, as it was a place to watch the sunrise, bathe and fish for supper.

A small boy that was an outcast in the town, Heath was refused the privilege of going to school so he worked the local mines by the time he was six and at the age of nine a second job at the livery stables in the late afternoons. His need to be the man of the house who helped care for three women left little time for him to be a boy. But he was still a child and despite his manly duties that little boy still found time to come out and play. And he played in the fields pretending he was a cowboy chasing Indians. He’d run through the woods swinging on the vines that hung down pretending he was in a jungle on a wild adventure. The little boy had an active imagination and he was never alone in his mind.

Heath walked to the creek and smiled as he realized this place had never changed. The heavy snowfall from the mountains had melted causing the creek to be full of life as water splashed against the rocks in its path. He sat down at the edge of the creek on a rock and stretched his legs in front of him on the grass. He looked upwards and saw the mountains playing peek-a-boo in between the trees. The sun had begun to rise and darkness no longer filled the space around him. The rays of the morning sun began to glisten against the blue water giving the impression of diamonds. This was one place Heath found contentment in a town that troubled him. He closed his eyes as the warmth of the morning sun could be felt on his face. He rolled out a cigarette and lit a match with the heel of his boot as he thought about how his life had changed from that small boy and more so when he found his father’s family.

The many nights he wondered who his father was and why he wasn’t in his life. When he became older and began to confront his mother about where and who he was. He now found his answer and he now knew who and where is father had been. He couldn’t be more blessed with the family he had found. They had taken him in and treated him as one of their own. They had given him everything that belonged to them without question.

If you asked Heath Thomson about how to make cactus soup, food meant for a day and make it last three, catch a rabbit in a snare, poker, the Mexican language, set an explosive in the belly of a mine or gentle the spirit of a wild horse he’d know the answer in a heartbeat without a second thought of hesitation. But if you asked Heath Barkley how to belong with other people he wouldn’t have a clue. Heath wondered now about his two separate identities and how he could possibly combine them as one. They both were one person but with two very different lives. Two lives that didn't belong together. So he asked himself the same question. How to have Heath Thomson and Heath Barkley become Heath Thomson Barkley was a question he still had no answers for.  He wondered if he ever would.

Heath’s mind pondered these thoughts as he slowly walked back to the cabin and saw the smoke coming from the chimney. He opened the front door and saw Rachel and Hannah fixing breakfast.

“How was the sunrise?” Rachel asked.

“Great, I forgot how much I enjoyed it by the creek. Nick still asleep?”

“Yes he is. I thought you said he enjoyed watching the sunrise with you?”

“He does but the medication Doc gave him to sleep knocks him out.”

“I’d say. You want to go wake him up since breakfast is about ready.”

“Sure.”

Heath climbed the ladder and into the loft. He walked over to his brother and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Nick?” Heath said, “It’s time to wake up.”

“Hmmm,” Nick mumbled as he smiled. “Oh Scarlet don’t stop.”

“Call me Scarlet one more time and you’ll be sleepin’ in the livery for now on,” Heath chuckled. “Come on Big Brother, wake up.”

“Wh…what?” Nick opened his eyes. “Where? Why’d you wake me?” Nick growled when he realized his surroundings.

“Cause its time for breakfast and I don’t think ya want Aunt Rachel to hear ya mumbling about a saloon girl or ya definitely won’t like how she calls ya Nicholas.”

“Blast it!” Nick growled as he swung his feet to the side of the bed and sat up. He ran his hands through his unruly hair. “I’ll be down in five.”

“All right.” Heath replied as he turned around and climbed back down the ladder. Heath walked over to the table and began to sit down. “He’s comin’.”

Rachel and Hannah placed the scrambled eggs, biscuits, gravy and bacon on the table. Rachel squeezed her nephew’s shoulder as she set the table. “Heath, thank you for the food.”

“It’s the least I could do for ya Aunt Rachel,” Heath proudly smiled.

Nick climbed down the ladder and joined the others at the table. “Sorry I’m late for breakfast, Miss. Caulfield.”

“Oh you aren’t late Nicholas, we’re just starting. How did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.”

“Good.” Rachel replied before she said grace. The food was passed around the table as everyone filled their plates. “So what do you boys have planned for the day?”

“Uh…haven’t decided yet. So how’s the packin’ goin’?” Heath answered.

“It’s not polite to change the subject,” Rachel admonished. “We’ll be working on Hannah’s home today. The only things that are here are mostly your Mother’s. You can take her trunk with you and anything else you want to keep. Most of my things are stored away at Hannah’s home. We’ll be going over those today.”

“Do ya need any help?” Heath asked.

“No we can manage, can’t we Hannah?”

“We’z sho can. Ya boys can spend the day doin’ better thangs.” Hannah assured.

“Like picking berries for tonight’s supper.” Rachel said as she looked at Heath, “Since you haven’t decided on what you’ll be doing today.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Heath dutifully answered.

When breakfast was finished the ladies ushered the boys out of the house so they could work on their chores and finish packing. Rachel made certain Heath didn’t forget the berry bucket. As the brothers got outside and began walking Nick started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Heath asked.

“Your Aunt Rachel and Mother should get along beautifully.”

”Ya noticed.”

“Yeah I noticed.”

Chapter 37

“So where are we going?” Nick asked.

“I thought I’d take a walk. Ya can start pickin’ the berries.”

“No reason we can’t go together,” Nick insisted.

Heath sighed and shook his head. The brothers walked in companionable silence until they reached the town cemetery.

“Oh,” Nick said sheepishly. Heath smiled at his brother.

Nick nodded as he left to allow his brother privacy. Heath opened the old rusty gate and walked towards Leah’s grave. He removed his hat and knelt down in front of the wooden cross.

*

Nick walked around the area past the cemetery as he checked out the surrounding buildings in the deserted town. He periodically stole a glance at his brother to make sure he was all right.

*

Matt Simmons held the whiskey bottle in his right hand as he stood in the doorway of the hotel. He took a swig of the whiskey and licked his lips. His eyes first caught the attention of the tall man wearing black. How he confidently walked through town as if he was untouchable. His eyes then scanned off in the distance to the small graveyard. He saw the bastard kneeled in front of the whore’s grave. His drunken mind seethed with anger that he was back. Simmons threw the empty bottle behind him into the room. He stumbled as he stepped out on the porch and down the steps. His body swayed as he headed towards the cemetery.

*

Nick walked up the steps of the old worn down church and stopped in the doorway. One of the doors was hanging off its hinges and as he looked inside he saw the tree that had fallen down inside the building. There was dirt on the floor and the pews were damaged. Nick looked upwards and saw the faded wooden cross on the far wall behind the pulpit. He shook his head sadly at the disrepair and turned away. His eyes narrowed when he saw a man walking towards his brother.

*

Heath stood up and placed his hat back on his head. As he turned around he came face to face with his uncle.

“Uncle Matt,” Heath said.

“Whatcha doin’ back home bastard?” Matt Simmons snarled.

“Hey Heath you about done?” Nick said as he briskly walked over to stand protectively beside his brother.

“Yeah, Nick.” Heath replied as his eyes never left his uncle’s face.

“You must be Heath’s Uncle.” Nick said. ‘You old drunk!’ “Name’s Nick, I’m his brother!” Nick’s hazel eyes revealed his thoughts. ‘That’s right I know all about you and if you lay a hand on him you’re a dead man!’

Not since his stepfather, Duane Thomson, did Matt Simmons ever fear a man the way he did when he looked into the darkened eyes of Nick Barkley. He knew those eyes and what they were saying to him. Simmons never said another word as he turned and walked away.

“You all right?” Nick asked.

“Yeah,” Heath replied. He looked up at Nick and saw the storm that was brewing. “Are you?”

“Fine,” Nick said as he waved his hand in the air. “I knew this town was deserted but I didn’t realize just how deserted. It’s like a completely different place near the cabin compared to here.”

“Now who’s changin’ the subject?” Heath mumbled under his breath.

“Where to now?”

“Don’t know.”

“We could check out the old mine.” Nick suggested. He was eager to learn more about his brother’s past.

“I’d rather not.”

“We’ll just walk past it, come on.”

Heath sighed as he and Nick started walking. He understood why Nick wanted to get to know more about his past. But that didn’t make him feel any better about having to relive what was best left alone.

* * * * * * * *

Rosa stood in the foyer in front of the closed library door as she paced back and forth. She was mumbling to herself as she wondered how to talk to Jarrod.

“It will be all right.” Victoria walked up to Rosa and put an arm around her shoulder. “Go on now.”

Rosa sighed as Victoria encouraged her on. She lightly tapped on the library door and slowly opened it. Jarrod was sitting at the desk working on paperwork and looked up when she entered. “You busy?” Rosa asked. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. ‘He’s so handsome sitting at the desk like that!’

“Not for you I’m not,” Jarrod smiled. ‘God I’ve missed you,’ he thought. “How are you my love?”

“Fine,” Rosa smiled. ‘You’re a liar Rosalie Grace Simon! You’re anything but fine!’

“Good,” Jarrod stood up as he walked around the desk. ‘Why is it so hard to talk to her? I mean this is Rosa, the woman I love more than life itself.’

“If you’re busy I can come back.” ‘Say yes! God say you’re busy so I don’t have to break your heart!’

Jarrod stared at her. ‘She wants me to say yes, I can see it. I could…No I won’t!’ “Not for you I’m not.” ‘There I said it!’

“Oh,” Rosa’s voice filled with disappointment. ‘Damn! Now what?’ Rosa released a heavy sigh. ‘Now I tell him.’ “There’s something I want to tell you Jarrod.”

‘I knew it!’ “Why don’t we come over here and sit down.” Jarrod smiled as he led his fiancée’ to the sofa. “We haven’t done a lot of talking lately have we?”

“No we haven’t.” Rosa said as she pulled out her letter from the pocket in her apron. “I want to apologize for my actions lately.”

“No need to-“

“Please Jarrod don’t interrupt,” Rosa placed a finger on his lips. She gasped as she touched him. ‘I’ve missed touching you, Counselor!’

Jarrod nodded. “My actions aren’t just because of the baby.” Rosa growled in frustration. “This isn’t coming out at all the way I wanted it too.”

“Take your time my love.” Jarrod said. She smiled at his assurance.

“Victoria and I had a very long talk last night about…about your father’s affair.”

‘My Father? What does this have to do with Father?’ This wasn’t a topic Jarrod expected and it showed in his demeanor. “Oh?”

“Would you like to know what we discussed?”

“Uh…sure.” ‘Not really!’ Rosa continued to share with Jarrod the story Victoria told her. It didn’t take long for Jarrod to recognize the resemblance to his own circumstances. Jarrod sighed, as he came to understand better now what his parents endured all those years ago.

“Victoria told me because she wanted me to realize why I have to be completely honest with you.” Rosa handed her letter to Jarrod. He took the letter in his hands and looked at her. “Open it.”

Jarrod’s face flushed with anger when he read it. “They fired you?! How can they do this to you?!” Jarrod yelled as he jumped up and started pacing the library. “Damn those hypocrites!”

“Stop Jarrod!” Rosa stopped Jarrod’s pacing and grabbed his shoulders. “Just stop.”

“Rosa, I’m so sorry.” Jarrod pulled her into his arms.

“I didn’t want to upset you with this.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“There are a lot of things I should’ve told you.”

“Maybe it’s time we both started telling each other things.”

“Maybe it is,” Rosa agreed. Jarrod guided Rosa to the sofa and for the first time since the miscarriage they really talked. In the beginning it wasn’t easy for either of them, but as time went on they were more at ease with each other and their feelings. Victoria stood outside the library door with tear-filled eyes. She knew she shouldn’t have spied on the couple but she couldn’t help herself. She walked away from the door now realizing everything would be all right. It would be rough for a while but she was confident they would make it. As Victoria sat down in the chair by the fireplace in the parlor she thought about her and Tom. She wished she had someone there for her all those years ago when she lost her baby. Maybe things would’ve been different in her marriage. Victoria sighed.

“But if they were different we wouldn’t have Heath!”

* * * * * * * *

The brothers walked down a long winding path with the Strawberry mine just ahead. They were about ten feet away when Nick stopped. The opening of the mine was boarded up. The old sign signaling the name of the mine with only the left side still attached was banging against the rock in the wind. Although it was beaten up and worn with age the words could still be read.

"Nick?" Heath’s heart shattered into millions of pieces when he saw the look of horror on Nick’s face. "Nick it doesn’t matter. It’s not important."

"IT DOESN’T MATTER?" Nick’s voice thundered. "THE HELL IT DOESN’T! IT MATTERS TO ME!"

"Nick, don’t do this." Heath sighed as he saw Nick storm over to the mine. He picked up a piece of wood on the ground and swung with all his might making contact with the old beat up sign. The rotted wood flew from its last hinge and went flying into the air landing only a few feet away on the ground.

"Nick what the hell are ya doin’?" Heath growled as he rushed up to his brother’s side.

"Damn him to hell! How could he?!" Nick yelled out in anger.

"That’s why it was best to leave it all in the past, Big Brother."

A few feet away the old sign was lying in the dirt at Heath’s feet. Heath stole a glance at the sign and shook his head as he read the words with a heavy heart. “THE NICHOLAS" A BARKLEY MINE STRAWBERRY, CALIFORNIA ESTABLISHED 1845

Chapter 38

After enjoying a refreshing swim in the creek, Nick and Heath donned their clothes and sat under a shade tree, the bucket of berries between them.

“Are ya all right Nick?” Heath said, tossing a berry in his mouth.

“Oh yeah couldn’t be better. That dip in the lake sure was great.”

“I wasn’t talkin’ about the swim.”

“You know what angers me the most? Father paid for me to see Scarlet at sixteen because he wanted to make sure I knew there were certain kind of women for that sort of thing. He always tried to teach Jarrod and me that you could damage a young girl’s reputation if you weren’t careful. He also said you don’t back down from your responsibility when you do something wrong.” Nick released an angry sneer. “Apparently Father didn’t know how to take his own advice.”

“Would you’ve gone back?” Heath asked. “If you were married and had a family, would you’ve gone back?”

“I wouldn’t have gotten myself in that situation in the first place!”

“He had amnesia,” Heath paused. “I’m not sayin’ that I ain’t angry with him cause I am. It’s just I didn’t see a man who had a wife and children but a man who was the devil. I made him into somethin’ he wasn’t. I have to believe there was some good in him cause he raised two fine sons.”

“Well you should’ve been there, damn it!”

“We should get back.” Heath said, giving up on the conversation for now.

“I’ll go feed the horses and brush ‘em down.” Nick said resignedly. Heath shook his head. He didn’t argue with his brother because he knew Nick needed to sort it out on his own.

* * * * * * * *

**The Angels of Mercy Clinic, San Francisco California**

Father Michaels was surprised when he saw the bodyguards standing protectively outside of Peter Wilson’s office. When he entered he saw that California’s Senator George Simon, and Rosa’s father, was in the room. The
President of the clinic was sitting at his desk. There were two chairs in front with the Senator occupying one of them. Both men stood up and greeted the Priest.

“Senator, this is a surprise.” Father Michaels said as he shook the man’s
hand. “Please have a seat.” The men sat down.

“Considering the rumors that have begun to circulate in town, Father, I don’t believe this visit should be a surprise.” George Simon grumbled.

“Father Michaels, I was explaining to the Senator that we’ve heard the rumors about Miss Simon and we’ve decided not to make an official comment.” Peter Wilson said.

“That’s very gentlemanly of you Mr. Wilson. However I am here to say that
won’t be acceptable.” The Senator scoffed.

“You’d prefer we make a comment?” The Priest asked confused.

“Yes to the fact the rumors are false and that Rosa is not fired as they claim she is. That she is only recuperating from the flu at Jarrod Barkley’s home and getting away from the city was the best medicine required for her.”

“But she was let go, Senator.”

“Now Mr. Wilson if you were to keep Rosa here at the clinic not one of those self-respecting hypocrites of high society would think for a second that these rumors are anything more than an attempt to discredit my family. I am the Senator of California and many people in the political circles strongly believe Jarrod Barkley will surpass me as the new Senator upon my demise. It is quite believable that a rumor such as this would be used to destroy our credibility. It will in no time become tomorrow’s fodder with something else much bigger taking its place.”

“Although that is a very reasonable explanation on how to handle this situation, I am sure you understand that can’t be done. I mean Rosa is an unmarried woman. Her actions are not something we find acceptable in keeping with the morals of this clinic.”

“Understand? Oh I understand perfectly. I understand that you can visit many of the brothels here in San Francisco and even pay for escorts to a charity ball. And because you are a man those actions are understandable as you say.” George Simon’s brown eyes bore into Peter Wilson. The Priest tried to hide his laughter with a cough but Peter’s glare told him it didn’t work.

“Senator, that is very different.”

“Of course it’s different because you are a man. My daughter made an error in judgement with her future husband. But at least she didn’t go out there and sleep with a different stranger every week and pay for their services!”

“Senator that is out of line!” Peter hit the desk with his fists as he flew out of his chair.

“You bet it is!” The Senator stood up and leaned over the desk and glared at the man before him.

“Gentlemen! Please let us discuss this in a civil manner!” Father Michaels stood in attempts to play as medium in the volatile situation between the two men. George Simon ignored the comment of the Priest.

“If you want to be a hypocrite like the rest of this town, then so be it! But if you think I am going to sit by and let my daughter become a victim of your hypocrisy you have another thing coming!”

“Is that a threat?”

“No, that is a promise.” The Senator slammed a folder on the desk. He placed his hand on the documents refusing the man access to what secrets they held. “If it wasn’t for my daughter this clinic wouldn’t be where it is today. I will not let her dedication to this place be in vein. Not only can you forget about receiving support from myself but also I will make sure that this clinic is refused much of the help you have received and are in desperate need for to stay in business. You will be shut down in less than a year if you’re lucky.”

“Senator, you can’t!” The Priest gasped.

“I can and I will,” the Senator smiled with satisfaction. “It is quite interesting what you find out about a man when you hire Pinkerton to look into his life. No life is private to the Pinkertons, Mr. Wilson.” The older man laughed. He continued and his voice was a low vicious growl.

“If these papers were to end up in the wrong hands, say the Editor of the San Francisco Newspaper, I do believe you would find yourself knocked down off that self-righteous indignation pedestal you are currently sitting on.” The Senator paused. “Now that Mr. Wilson is what you call a threat. Considering I’m a politician I know how to play the game better than you, and I assure you where my family is concerned it’s a game I don’t lose.”

The Senator picked up the folder on the desk and handed it to Peter Wilson. The President of the Clinic’s face was ashen as he held the papers of his life in his hands. The politician picked up his hat and placed it on his head. His demeanor softened as he began to make his leave.

“Father Michaels, it was good seeing you again. Take care of yourself.”

“You as well Senator,” the Priest replied as he shook the man’s hand.

“As for you Mr. Wilson why don’t you read those papers tonight. They make for great bedtime reading. Good day Gentlemen!” George Simon closed the door behind him leaving the two men alone. The Priest turned and looked at the shocked expression on Peter’s face.

“What do you plan to do Peter?”

“I plan to find out who spoke to the press about Rosa’s stay here as a patient. Then I intend to fire them.” Peter Wilson promised with a growl.

“But what about Rosa Sir?” The Priest asked anxious to know how the man would proceed.

* * * * * * * *

Senator George Simon exited the clinic with his bodyguards following close behind him. George greeted his aide as he entered his carriage.

“How did it go, Senator?” Merrill, the Senator’s aide asked as they settled into the carriage.

“I believe it was a success, Merrill.”

“I never doubted you Sir.” Merrill paused. “Just in time for your one o’clock appointment. Very good Sir!”

“Actually Merrill, I’ve cleared my schedule for awhile. I’m taking a trip.”

“A trip Senator? Where my ask are you going?”

“Stockton!”

“Stockton? That’s where Mr. Barkley lives,” he paused and smiled, “and where your daughter is staying.”

“Yes I do believe my daughter and I are in need of a long talk.”

“What about Mr. Barkley Sir?” Merrill asked. George Simon laughed at the fear in the young man’s eyes.

“I do believe my future son-in-law and I will be having a discussion as well Merrill.” The Senator paused and smiled. “Yes I do believe we will.”

Chapter 39

Heath returned to the cabin. Hannah was in the rocking chair on the front porch breaking green beans. “Howdy Aunt Hannah,” Heath smiled.

“Heath, look at ya!” Hannah gasped. Heath’s clothes were wet from the swim. Hannah laughed as he stood in front of her like a scolded four-year-old. “How waz yer day?”

“It was fine. How’d the packin’ go?”

“Got lots done, should be finished in couple days.”

“Good,” Heath smiled. “Where’s Aunt Rachel?”

“She’s takin’ down laundry. Ya’s better not get near those clothes!” Hannah warned Heath. The twinkle in Heath’s eyes was his response. Hannah shook her head in amazement at her nephew’s fearless personality. “Lord, have mercy!”

“Howdy Aunt Rachel, want some help?” Heath asked as he made it appear he was going to take a shirt off the line.

“Sure Heath…” Rachel turned around and saw her nephew’s appearance and her eyes narrowed. “Heath Morgan Thomson Barkley you stop right there!”

“I ain’t that bad,” Heath smirked as he held his hands up. “But if ya don’t want the help?”

“Heath, you are terrible.” Rachel laughed as she swatted his backside. She looked into the berry bucket and saw it was half full. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “How can I make a pie with that many berries?”

“Sorry Aunt Rachel, but we got hungry.”

“Well I guess we’ll just have berries for dessert then.” She returned to taking down the clothes. “Where’s Nicholas?”

Heath walked over to a nearby tree stump and sat, placing the bucket on the ground beside him. Heath smiled at her use of his brother’s full name.

“Nick’s takin’ care of the horses.” Heath paused. “I went and saw Mama. Uncle Matt stopped by but nothin’ happened.” He assured her. “Nick came from nowhere and stood over me like he was my bodyguard. You shoulda seen Uncle Matt’s face.”

“Well good for him.” Rachel smiled to herself. “Did anything happen?”

“Nah,” Heath replied. “I made Nick promise he wouldn’t.”

“What else did you boys do?”

“Nick was insistent at learning more about my past.” Heath frowned. “He wouldn’t let it go.”

“What happened Heath?” Rachel asked sensing her nephew’s sorrow.

“He saw the mine.”

“Oh no!” Rachel’s hands flew to her mouth. The clothes she was holding fell into the basket. “It’s named ‘The Nicholas’…after him?”

“Yup.”

“Oh dear, I never linked the two.”

“Ya shoulda seen his face. I couldn’t get him to talk about it. I kept tryin’ to tell him it didn’t matter but he said it did to him.”

“It must have been a horrible shock for him.”

“Just another way someone was hurt by me goin’ to the ranch,” Heath growled. “It seems all I’ve done is hurt him.”

“Oh Heath, it’s not your fault anymore than it is his!”

“But the shootin’ was my fault.”

“Maybe there’s a small detail you forgot to share with me about Nicholas being shot!” Rachel roared. “Like did YOU shoot him?”

“No, of course not.” Heath scoffed at the question as he waved his hand in the air for emphasis.

“Then it wasn’t your fault!” Rachel growled. “Is it your brother’s fault that as a kid you worked in a mine named after him?”

“No and I would never blame him!”

”I’m sure he sees it differently. If you don’t want Nicholas to blame himself for the name of that mine then you give him the same honor of not blaming yourself for him being shot.”

“But I shoulda not fought with Barrett in the first place.”

“Then you would have been the coward instead of the man who couldn’t admit he lost a fight so he had to bring a gun into it. It is not your responsibility how a man reacts in a fight. That is HIS responsibility and HIS alone.”

“I wonder if Mother would agree with you?” Heath mumbled. Rachel smiled at her nephew’s shocked expression. “I…I…uh…I didn’t mean that.”

“I think you did.” Rachel quietly said as she walked over to him. She placed her hand under his chin and made him look at her. “You love her as your Mother.”

“But she’s not…”

“Not as Leah was, but in other ways she is your Mother just the same. Just as you love Hannah and me as your Aunts even though in reality we are not.”

“It would betray Mama.”

“No, sweetheart. I’m sure she’s smiling down right now with such happiness in knowing that Victoria is taking care of you.”

“I…can’t…”

“Because you haven’t let her go. You need to let Leah go, Heath.” Rachel sighed as she saw Heath’s negative shake and his soft whisper.

“I’m not ready.”

“Oh Heath,” Rachel drew him into her. She held on tightly to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her breast. “You can’t embrace the future with your family until you let the past go. Let them be there for you.”

“This family is too much Aunt Rachel. I ain’t seen anyone like ‘em before.” Heath chuckled. “Wait till ya meet ‘em. They’re always in your business. We have pre-dinner drinks together before the meal. Mrs. Barkley is persistent that everyone’s at the dinner table. We all talk about our day. Then we go into the library for the family hour before bed. There’s absolutely no privacy. Ya can’t even sneeze without all of ‘em fussin’ over ya.”

“Would you want it any other way?” Rachel asked. “Would you rather spend your nights alone? How does it feel when you go to bed at night and know your family is just down the hall and would be there the second you needed them?”

“I don’t wanna be alone…” Heath’s soft whisper was barely heard. “It’s just that I feel like I’m fightin’ this never endin’ battle. I’m tired of fightin’ Aunt Rachel.”

Rachel drew out of the embrace and sat beside Heath on the tree stump. She smacked his leg as she looked at him.

“Heath, remember when you were a little boy and Leah taught you how to swim?”

“Yeah,” Heath answered not sure where this was heading.

“You were both in the creek. You were so scared of the water and didn’t want her to let you go. You tightened your small hands around her neck and pleaded with her not to let you go. But your Mama looked you in the eye and she promised that she’d be right there beside you and make sure you were all right. Remember?”

“She was too,” Heath nodded at the memory. “I don’t remember too much cause I was so young but I remember knowin’ she was never too far from me. If I was havin’ trouble she was right there to make sure I didn’t drown.”

“You trusted her so much that you put your life in her hands. You never doubted that she’d be there to make sure you were safe.” Rachel paused. “Heath don’t you understand. You need to put that same trust in your family right now. You need to trust that they will be there to catch you when you fall. You were scared of that water but your Mama was right there with you. Now you need to let your family be there with you.”

“Aunt Rachel, I’ve never been this scared of anything before.”

“Then look into their eyes and you will find the strength to not be scared. Heath when I look into Nicholas’ eyes I see the promise that he’ll catch you if you fall. That love he has for you shines brightly and with lots of pride. He’s so proud of you. At dinner last night and breakfast this morning I was watching him. He kept stealing glances at you as if he couldn’t believe you were real. It was almost like he expected to look back and see you weren’t there.” Rachel smiled. Heath’s boot scuffed the dirt from his embarrassment.

“I also see the way you look at him,” Rachel said. “You look up to him and I see that same love in your eyes. He’s very special to you.”

“Yeah he is.” Heath grinned, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“I don’t have to.” Rachel assured. “If the rest of the family looks at you like Nicholas does you have no reason to be scared, Heath. I have no doubt they’ll catch you if you fall. You just need to let go first, then put your faith in them to do the rest.”

Continued…