by Bonnie
Disclaimer: The characters and
situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four
Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the
author. The ideas expressed in this
story are copyrighted to the author.
Synopsis: Heath struggles with prejudices from
outside sources while he tries to adjust to his new life as a Barkley. This
story continues where “Destiny” left off.
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until
you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You
raise me up: To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
By Josh Groban
Heath drove the last fence post into the ground as he stood
up and took his hat off to wipe his brow.
It was the first day of May and it already felt like the hot days of
summer, which could only mean this would be one very long hot summer in the San
Joaquin Valley. Loading his supplies
into the wagon Heath looked at the sun’s position and realized he had enough
time to get home and take a bath before suppertime.
Heath had been at the Barkley Ranch for two months. In that two months he found a family with
two brothers, a sister, an unofficial sister and… He was about to call her
Mother but he knew that wouldn’t be possible.
He still wasn’t sure how to address Mrs. Victoria Barkley. He knew she
hated being called so formally and even “Ma’am” grated her nerves. They talked
about what he could call her but they weren’t able to come to an agreeable
solution. She suggested her Christian name but he was horrified at the idea.
His Mama, God rest her soul, wouldn’t have approved of him calling his elder by
her first name. But no other name seemed to fit the Barkley matriarch. That wasn’t true he told himself. The only word that seemed to fit her was the
honored name of Mother. But there was no way he would ever suggest it. He felt
it would be disrespecting his own mother.
Besides, he reasoned, Mrs. Barkley would probably be appalled to have
her husband’s bastard son call her Mother. So he refrained from the word that
started to bring him comfort and instead he tried not to call her anything.
As Heath drove the wagon home he found himself thinking
about his position in the Barkley family.
Since his arrival the family had their lives turned upside down just as
he expected it would be and still things didn’t appear to be calming down. Not that he expected it, but his new family
had. He had to smile; they were naïve when
it came to the life of a bastard. They believed that the Valley would actually
come to accept him. Accept him? “Not
hardly,” he spoke out loud as he scoffed at the idea.
The residents of Stockton continued to give Heath a hard
time. When he would retrieve the Barkley mail from the Post Office Mrs. Norton
would set the mail down with a sneer so she wouldn’t have to hand it directly
to him. When he would pick up ranch
supplies at the General Store Mr. Tanner would simply hand the list to Hugh,
the little boy who worked for him, telling him to fill the order. Since Hugh
was just a boy, Heath would end up helping him load the wagon if he wanted the
job done in a reasonable amount of time.
Unlike Nick, who could park the wagon, hand Mr. Tanner the list, go have
a beer and come back to a full wagon.
Nick and Heath had been arrested after fighting in Harry’s Saloon so
many times that when they now walked into the establishment Harry would heave a
heavy sigh, knowing yet again his place would get damaged because of Nick’s
quick temper against the slanderous remarks spoken about his brother.
Heath would have to have a talk with big brother Nick he
realized. On one hand Heath knew Nick
would have to learn how to ignore the comments said about him. But on the other hand Nick’s refusal to
allow anyone to say anything bad about him couldn’t help but make his heart
fill with pride for his big brother’s protectiveness. He smiled and shook his head thinking of that side of his
brother. In the last two months he was
lucky if he could find a moment of peace away from his big brother. Nick refused to let him out of his sight for
nearly a second. Even coming here today
took some persuading. Heath knew his
new brother meant well and he understood the reasons so he was patient with
him. Nick felt robbed of not growing up
with Heath and now that he had him he wanted to make up for lost time. Plus Heath saw the fear in Nick’s eyes. Heath was startled by the way Nick was able
to read him in a way nobody else had ever been able to do so, next to his own
Mama and Aunt Rachel of course.
Heath couldn’t believe Nick’s keen ability to read him but
he knew he could. And Nick knew that
with each passing day as the San Joaquin Valley refused to accept his brother
as a Barkley, Nick knew it would only be a matter of time.
Time! Even Heath
had to admit that Nick realized it before he had. Heath asked himself how much his new family was supposed to take
before enough was enough. The family
was under false pretenses that everything would get better but Heath knew it
wouldn’t. So he wondered when it would
be time. Time to face that this was all
a dream. A dream that he was a member
of a family that loved him, was part of a respected member of the community and
that he was simply Heath Morgan Thomson Barkley. Not Heath, the town bastard!
Not Heath, Tom Barkley’s mistake!
No, just Heath Thomson Barkley and another member of the Barkley
family. It was a dream Heath knew
wouldn’t last. And while he sat back
and enjoyed this feeling that came from his dream he knew each member in his
new family was paying the price.
His oldest brother Jarrod paid the price by having to
postpone his wedding to his fiancée, Rosalie Simon. Their wedding was planned for July right after the celebration of
our nation’s Independence. But knowing
he would have been a bigger distraction at the wedding, Jarrod and Rosa decided
to hold off. Now that wedding was postponed
for the first week of November. Six
months from now and Heath groaned at the thought. He knew how hard that longer separation had been on the couple.
He saw the longing in Jarrod’s eyes when he received a letter from Rosa. He had caught his brother in the study late
one night staring into the fire holding one of Rosa’s letters. His brother had made a sacrifice for him and
he wondered if he was being fair.
Then there was Nick. His courtship with Jessica ended
abruptly upon his arrival because she couldn’t accept his status in the
family. Jessica didn’t take the
break-up very well and made certain that anytime she saw Nick in town she would
approach him. The confrontations were
ugly and although Nick tried to be a gentleman and ignore her even a Saint
couldn’t walk away from her tantrums.
He laughed when he remembered the time when Jessica spoke hateful words
about him in which Nick finally had enough of her temper tantrums, so he
treated her as the spoiled child she was by turning her over and spanking her
rump. Heath thought it was priceless
the look on her face and the reaction to the townsfolk’s laughter who had
witnessed the spectacle. But Heath
frowned, as he also had to admit the spanking only caused Jessica’s hunger for
revenge against Nick to deepen.
Then there were the ranch hands. Some of the men quit and out of the ones who remained most of
them had protested Heath’s rightful place beside Nick. Heath tried to ignore
them as much as possible but he also refused to back down so there were times
the result was a good old-fashioned fight.
That was the reason for him working alone today. There were just days that Heath needed a
break from the daily fighting for acceptance.
Nick and Heath were forced to work double time to make up for the men
who left that they couldn’t replace.
Nobody wanted to be hired on at the Barkley ranch so they remained
short-staffed. And with the cattle
drive in only one week Nick and Heath had struggled to make sure they remained
on schedule.
Audra also wasn’t left without facing sacrifices. Audra, his dear sweet little sister had lost
friends and prospective beau’s because of him.
She was refused invitations to parties and when she found a certain
young man she liked spoke of his dislike towards her brother he was history. The actions of the townsfolk and the men on
the ranch also bothered Audra. She
hated hearing hateful words spoken about her beloved brother causing her to
cry. Then there were times that she
would come home and go to her room and cry herself to sleep. She wouldn’t talk about what happened but he
knew that whatever it was that it had been about him. Audra kept telling him that she was happy he was living
there. She always went out of her way
to make him feel welcomed. She made him
feel more comfortable around her than he did around anyone else. She had a certain way about her that made it
easy to be in her presence. Maybe it
was the two and a half-year age difference between them, or maybe being raised by
three women is why he felt most comfortable around his sister. Whatever the reason he treasured his little
sister so knowing what they were experiencing had upset her broke his heart.
Lastly, he believed the biggest price paid for his arrival
at the Barkley Ranch was with Mrs. Barkley.
It was Mrs. Barkley that brought Heath back to the ranch that first
night. It was she that came to his
campfire and encouraged him to return and make a life at the ranch. But now that he was here, he wondered if she
had regretted her decision. Being in
the presence of the result of your husband’s infidelity on a daily basis must
be a strain on her. He had watched her
and seen the way she would sometimes look at him. The fact he was the image of a young Tom Barkley and was her
husband’s son from another woman couldn’t bring her peace. How could it? She would never tell him he knew. So he would have to make the decision himself.
Yes, it was time!
Now that Heath had thought about what all his family had suffered he
realized Nick had a right to be afraid.
His family had been good to him and he only gave them pain. The town of Stockton would be like every
other town he had lived in. They wouldn’t come to accept him and his family’s
pain would only continue. The Barkley money and power wouldn’t be enough to
encourage acceptance. That had to come from the heart and with bigots and
prejudices it wasn’t an option. Heath frowned
as the wagon reached the barn. As he jumped down to unload the wagon and
unhitch the team he realized that the moment he knew would come, the moment he
knew he’d have to face had finally arrived. The time had come for Heath to wake
up from his wonderful dream. It was time that Heath Morgan Thomson decided to
leave the Barkley Ranch for good and gave his family back the life they
deserved…a life they had lived before he arrived and changed everything!
Heath walked out of the barn and towards the corral where
a big bay named Charger was pacing back and forth. Charger was the first horse Heath gentled when he came to the
Barkley Ranch two months earlier. The
horse was very powerful and Heath believed he was the most beautiful horse he’d
ever seen. Nick tried to give him
Charger many times but he turned down the gift, refusing to get rid of his
beloved horse Gal. Heath’s mind
couldn’t even be changed despite the brotherly teasing from Nick about the
pony’s size. As Heath gave the bay one final pat he saw Hattie McCall behind
the Foreman’s home in her vegetable garden.
Hattie looked up from gathering her vegetables in time to see the young
blond shyly walking towards her.
“Well hello Heath,” Hattie greeted with a warm smile. “I
expected you to be out with Nick and Duke on the range branding for the cattle
drive?”
“I decided to take care of the fence mending today, Mrs.
M.” Heath smiled as he walked with her to the back porch of her home.
Hattie smiled at the nickname Heath had given her. Hattie
also hated being called Mrs. McCall or Ma’am but unlike Victoria she had put
her foot down refusing to be called either name. The final straw came one
Sunday afternoon when the couple shared a picnic with the family after church
and he called her Ma’am for the last time. Her tirade in front of the family
still caused him to blush when he thought about it. His response had been to
call her Mrs. M and everyone had waited with baited breath but the unusual
nickname caught her so off guard that she was shocked into silence. From then
on the nickname slowly began to grow on her and she smiled realizing if he
never became comfortable with calling her Hattie that she could live with Mrs.
M.
“Well I’m sure there are times you want away from
Nick’s…uh bossiness?” Hattie teased.
“He’s not that bad,” Heath chuckled, “but it sure was
quiet today.” Hattie laughed as she put
an arm around the young man’s waist.
“Would you like to come in and have some of my applesauce
cake. Promise I won’t tell Victoria I spoiled you before dinner.”
“Nah that’s all right but maybe some other time. I better use this time wisely and get
cleaned up before Nick comes home.”
Heath replied walking towards the house with Hattie’s laughter ringing
in his ears.
He walked inside the house and up the stairs to his
bedroom where he grabbed a clean shirt and pants before heading towards the
water closet. He turned the brass knobs
and filled the tub with water as he undressed and sank his tired body into the
warm water. He allowed the water and the scented soap to wash away the dirt and
sweat and he sighed as relief was brought to his tension filled muscles. He
dunked himself below the water line and came back up and ran his hands through
his wet hair as the soap lathered between his fingers. He dunked himself once
more and rinsed out the soap before he stepped out of the tub and dried off. He
put on his pants and then his shirt, which he left unbuttoned while he took the
towel and dried out the tub. He then took his dirty clothes and towel to the
laundry basket in the corner of the room. He buttoned up his shirt and put a
towel around his neck to dry his wet hair when he returned to his room. As he opened the door he found himself
standing in front of Nick. The brothers stared at each other in silence.
“Hello,” Nick spoke breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Howdy,” Heath replied looking Nick in the eye.
“How was the fence mending?” Nick asked with a suspicious
tone.
“Good,” Heath paused, “the branding?”
“Good,” Nick replied.
“Good,” Heath spoke as he walked past Nick, who walked
into the water closet.
“Good,” Nick replied as he shut the door behind him. Heath sighed as he shook his head and walked
to his room to finish getting ready for dinner.
* * * * * * * *
Nick was the last family member to walk down the grand
staircase and join the family in the parlor for a pre-dinner drink. Jarrod poured him a drink and handed the
glass to his brother as he walked into the room. “How was the branding today Brother Nick?” Jarrod asked
conversationally.
“Good,” Nick replied as he walked over to stand by the
fireplace on the opposite end of Heath, who rolled his eyes at the response.
“Will you be ready for the cattle drive next week?” Jarrod
asked innocently.
“Don’t know,” Nick replied sarcastically, “depends if I
get any help with the branding the rest of this week.” Heath sighed heavily at his brother’s remark
causing Victoria, Jarrod and Audra to look at each other in concern.
“I told you I’d help, Nick. I just needed today to-”
“Today to be by yourself, yes I know.”
“Today to be by myself so I didn’t have to fight with anyone
Nick…for at least one day,” Heath glared at his brother instantly regretting
the words that caused everyone in the room to gasp.
Nick mumbled something inaudible. He sighed and put his
glass down to run his hands through his hair. Heath closed his eyes and turned
his head away hating the pain he saw in his brother’s eyes.
“Heath I almost forgot to give this to you,” Jarrod handed
his brother a letter quickly changing the topic of conversation. “I picked it
up in town today it’s a letter from your Aunt.”
“Thanks Jarrod,” Heath smiled taking the letter from his
brother.
“Oh Heath what does she have to say?” Audra smiled trying
to lighten the tension in the room.
“I don’t know yet Audra I’m not psychic,” Heath teased
causing her to blush.
“Oh you,” Audra chastised her brother.
“But it’s probably about all of ya,” Heath winked at his
sister grabbing her attention as well as everyone else almost immediately.
“Mrs. Barkley, dinner’s ready.” Silas walked into the room
momentarily causing an interruption to the conversation.
“Thank you Silas,” Victoria replied as Jarrod escorted her
into the dining room. As they all sat
down at the table Victoria said grace before everyone began filling their
plates. Audra was curious at what
Heath’s Aunt would have to say about them and couldn’t wait for the moment to
ask him.
“Heath, why would your Aunt’s letter be about us?” Audra
asked looking across the table at Heath.
“Audra, that’s private,” Victoria warned.
“That’s all right…” he almost called her Mrs. Barkley but
stopped himself before the words came out.
Looking at Audra he put on his best poker face. “I told my Aunt about
all of ya in my last letter and this probably shares her thoughts on what I had
to say.” He patted the letter in his shirt pocket.
“Well?” Audra encouraged, “what did you tell her about us?”
“I told her you were the spoiled princess that I was
makin’ a rabbit cage for, that Nick was bossy and liked to tell me what to do on
the range and…” he paused as he gave a heavy sigh, “that Jarrod’s a lawyer.”
“Why’d you only say that about Jarrod after what you said
about us?” Nick asked defensively while he motioned to Audra and himself.
Heath shrugged trying hard not to laugh, “no explanation
was required.”
Everyone around the room laughed as Jarrod pretended to be
offended.
“Hey!” Jarrod replied before joining in the laughter, at
his expense, around the table.
As everyone enjoyed the meal Silas and Victoria had fixed
for the family light conversation filled the room about their day. Heath looked at Jarrod and sighed, knowing
he couldn’t put this off any longer.
“Jarrod, when I was in town this week I saw a house on the edge of town
that was for sale.” Heath paused, “I’d
like to buy it.”
The final words spoken caused the sound of silverware
dropping to plates and everyone’s eye in the room to stare at the blond cowboy.
“It’s not like that,” Heath sighed. “I’d like to buy the house for my Aunts.”
“Oh Heath that would be lovely to have them move
here. I’d like to meet them.” Audra
smiled at her brother who offered a lop-sided smile of his own.
“I’d like to get ‘em outta Strawberry and bring ‘em to a
place that’d be much safer. Plus I
don’t like ‘em travelin’ to Pikeston to pick up laundry and such. They’d be
able to set up a dress shop here in town.”
“No need to explain why you’d want them to live in
Stockton Heath,” Jarrod smiled. “I’ll get working on the paperwork right away.”
“Well I don’t know if they’ll agree to move here. I just wanted to do as much as I can now
until I get the chance to convince ‘em.”
“I’m sure it won’t be any problem.” Jarrod assured, “I’ll
work on the preparations while you’re away on the cattle drive and by the time
you come back things should be almost settled.”
“Oh Heath I’d love to help fix up the place,” Audra
offered.
“Thanks Sis.” Heath smiled then looked at Jarrod, “I’ll
write ‘em and get their idea on all this.
Then after I get back from the drive I’ll visit ‘em in Strawberry. Make sure all is well and that they agree.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jarrod smiled.
“There’s something else…” Heath paused.
“Sure anything Heath,” Jarrod encouraged.
“I’d…uh…well…uh…I’d like to have…” Heath looked at his
plate and played with his food. “Ya see I think they’d be more willin’ to come
if…”
“If your mother was here,” Victoria’s soft voice finished
what Heath was having a hard time saying.
Heath looked at her shocked that she knew what he was thinking.
“Yes’m,” Heath blushed, “I just don’t want to…well…if ya
don’t…”
“Of course it’s all right with me Heath,” Victoria’s hand
covered Heath’s.
“Do ya think the Reverend would mind if she was in the
cemetery in town?” Heath asked hopefully.
Victoria smiled at Heath, “He wouldn’t mind at all,
sweetheart…and neither do I.”
“Thank you Mrs. Barkley,” Heath smiled at her.
“Well, I don’t see a problem with making those
arrangements either Heath. I will take
care of everything for you,” Jarrod promised.
Heath looked at Jarrod with an appreciative smile before he stared at
Nick. Nick remained unusually quiet
throughout the conversation. Heath had
expected him to say something. He
didn’t know if he was pleased or disappointed.
“Nick?” Heath
spoke quietly. Nick looked him in the eye.
Heath felt the scrutinizing of the hazel eyes on his soul.
“You better not be thinking I have a problem with your
Aunts moving to Stockton, boy. Or
having Leah moved here closer to you.
Cause I don’t and I’d think you’d know that about me,” Nick spoke with
conviction.
“Thanks Nick,” Heath smiled under the intense stare
knowing what Nick was going to say next before the words had been spoken.
“After all…” Nick paused, “they’ll be close to you and that’s
what you want.”
“Nick-” Jarrod’s words were cut off by Nick who continued
as if he didn’t here his brother’s warning.
“Because all I heard was that you want them to be in a
safe place and close to available work.” Nick’s words caused Heath to look
away.
“Of course he wants them to be close to him Nick, what
does that mean?” Audra’s blue eyes flashed, defending Heath.
“Ask Heath,” Nick replied as he stood up. “Excuse me, I’m quite tired and believe I’ll
retire early.” Nick dropped his napkin on his plate and walked out.
“Heath?” Audra looked at her brother, “what was Nick
talking about?”
“Nothin’ Audra,” Heath forced a smile that didn’t reach
his eyes. “He’s still upset with me for not helpin’ with the brandin’ today,
that’s all.” Heath stood up. “If y’all excuse me, I think I’ll turn in as
well.”
Heath walked out of the room leaving the three remaining
occupants staring at each other wondering about the words Nick had said. All of them realizing Nick had a point.
Heath wasn’t pushing to have his Aunts closer to him. But that’s because it was a given. Or was it?
* * * * * * * *
Nick was sitting in a chair by the fireplace in his
bedroom twirling a drink in his hand when he heard a knock at the door. Sighing he invited the visitor into his
room. He figured it was either his
mother or his older brother and when he didn’t hear the swishing of a long
skirt he knew which of the two it was that had walked into his room.
“You want to talk about what happened downstairs
Nick?” Jarrod spoke as he sat in the
chair opposite of Nick.
“He’s leaving.” Nick spoke so quietly that Jarrod had to
strain to hear him.
“Leaving?” Jarrod looked at Nick with disbelief. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration don’t you
think?”
“Exaggeration?” Nick’s hazel eyes flashed at his brother.
“You think he would actually stick around with the way the town and the hands
are treating him?”
“He knew this would be hard living here. He was even more
concerned about how we’d handle it.”
“Yes he was more concerned about us and tell me Jarrod
have things improved for us as well?”
“Nick-”
“I’m not saying I care about what’s happening with us
Jarrod cause I don’t. But he does.”
Nick stood up and began pacing. “We all thought they’d accept him. That it would get better. But they haven’t and the more this goes on
the more he’s going to feel he should leave.” Nick stopped his pacing and
looked at Jarrod. “He’ll want to leave to ease the load on us and make things
better for us.”
“He would leave to protect us?” Jarrod asked clarifying
his brother’s words.
“Yes, Jarrod. He’s
making final preparations for his Aunts to be in a place where they’ll be
comfortable and then he’ll leave.”
“Nick, he’d have to come back and visit his Aunts it
doesn’t make sense.”
“They wouldn’t be around his Uncle and they’d be close to
work. He could sneak in and out without
us ever knowing he was even there.”
“Even if that is the case Nick, can we really stop him? He
knows how we feel about him. We can’t
force him to stay here if that’s not what he wants.”
“The hell I can’t.
If I have to lock him in the attic…that boy is only leaving this ranch
over my dead body.” Nick promised as Jarrod sighed.
“Nick, I don’t want Heath to leave either but you can’t
cage an eagle that was born to be set free.
Heath’s been a drifter for far too many years. Maybe living here makes him feel caged and he needs to be set
free.”
Heath entered his room, shut the door and walked over to his
desk. He turned up the oil lamp on his desk to offer him some light. He pulled out the envelope from his Aunt
from his shirt pocket, and fingered the familiar handwriting. She had addressed the letter to Heath Thomson Barkley, Stockton California
and that couldn’t help but make him smile.
To see his Mama’s name included with his new family’s name, it was a
combination he liked very much. He
placed his finger in back of the envelope flap and gently ripped it apart. He pulled out the homemade card that was
folded in half smiling, as he opened it.
The card was a smooth Victorian paper with lace around the
edges. Heath remembered seeing this
paper in his Aunt’s special box. She
had told him the paper and lace was only to be used for special occasions, and
was not for play. They were unable to
buy fancy cards at the store so his Aunt Rachel had nice paper that was used
for occasions such as this. For Heath
he thought his Aunt could have made a living making cards for people. Her creations were always fancier and
prettier then anything from the store.
He smiled at the elegant script that was in the middle.
Happy
Birthday Heath
We Love
You,
Rachel
and Hannah
He gently placed the card on his wooden desk. He made a mental note to put the card in his
Mama’s bible before going to bed. He
then picked up his Aunt’s letter and began to read what she wrote.
Dear
Heath,
It was a
pleasure to receive your letter and to know everything seems to be working out
between you and your new family.
Everyone seems to be so nice and the picture of the family was very
lovely.
I am
especially pleased to know that Mrs. Barkley seems to have taken a liking to
you. I will refrain from telling you I
told you so since I know you probably don’t want to hear it. Maybe one day you will learn to listen to
your elders. I can dream at least. I’m just teasing you sweetheart.
I hope
you are allowing Mrs. Barkley to help you with your schooling. Don’t feel bad about letting her help
you. There is nothing to be ashamed of
and I’m sure Mrs. Barkley would agree.
I want
to tell you right now that your feelings towards Mrs. Barkley do not in any way
show disrespect towards your Mama. I
know your Mama would be proud to know that you and Mrs. Barkley are getting
along and that you have someone there to be a mother to you. Oh Heath, you need that mother’s love and no
matter how old you get that love will always be something special to carry you
through life. Please open up your heart
and allow Mrs. Barkley to give you that love. I know it’s something you
want. If you think Hannah and I don’t
approve, then get rid of that notion right now. We are very proud and so happy to know you have allowed Mrs. Barkley
and the entire family into your heart.
Your
brothers and your sister seem like they are very good people. Having siblings
is a new experience for you. Please don’t feel guilty about your brother’s
wedding being postponed, sweetheart.
They did this to express how much they love you. They know this transition is very hard on you
and for all of them as well. They want
to make sure everyone gets use to all the changes before making such a big
commitment. If they didn’t care so much
then they wouldn’t have changed the date.
You should be proud to know they love you this much and let it build
your relationship together.
Let your
big brothers be there for you, Heath. I
know you are use to doing everything by yourself but having them there to guide
you can be a good thing. There is
nothing wrong to let them be there for you. I have a big sister of my own and I
can assure you they can be a blessing more then they are a bother. I know this will be hard for you but please
try. Your little sister seems to be a
darling. A tomboy huh? Well I guess she’s got a good big brother
there to help her with those rabbit cages.
Now just don’t be encouraging her to climb trees, Heath Thomson
Barkley! You probably thought I had
forgotten about that incident in our backyard. Well I haven’t. You took ten years off my life that day
young man!
I was
happy to hear that you’ll be helping out at the orphanage. I hope it is going as well as you had
hoped. Don’t worry about not knowing
how to be a role model. It will all
come to you in instinct. Those boys
will be happy to have you care about them.
You will do a better job then you realize. I know you didn’t have a role model growing up and so you
understand these boys.
The
money you sent was very nice. You
didn’t have to do that but I know it would be a waste of my time to tell you
so. You are a good man and we are so
very proud of you. Hannah and I love
you so very much. I know in time that
Stockton and the ranch hands will learn that you are a man of honor and
integrity. I hope you won’t do anything
rash and decide to leave your family because of such bigotry. I know it must be
very rough right now and you are probably struggling. I know you Heath and I know you are probably thinking if you left
you would give your family back a life that wasn’t so hard. But I want you to know sweetheart that
wouldn’t be the case. Your Mama, Hannah
and I always terribly missed you when you’d leave. We never stopped loving you or worrying about you when you were
away. Please don’t think your family
wouldn’t worry about you or that they would rather give you up to make things
in their life easier. I assure you from
what you have told me about your family if you left them it would break their
hearts.
I am not
trying to pressure you Heath but I just don’t want to see you give up something
that I know you want and what I know you need.
You need this family Heath and they need you. Give them a chance and together you can work through these bad
times.
I must
go now. I will look forward to your
visit after the cattle drive. I hope
all goes well on the drive and that you enjoy yourself with your brother. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. You did tell your family that your birthday
is next week, didn’t you young man?
Because if you didn’t tell them then when you come for a visit I will
have my wooden spoon ready! Always
remember we love you and that you are always in our hearts.
Love
always,
Rachel
and Hannah
Heath placed the letter down on the desk and ran his hands
over his tear filled eyes. He couldn’t help but release a chuckle at the recent
turn in events. He released a heavy
sigh and buried his head in his arms.
His mind kept re-reading his Aunt’s letter. He had made the decision that day to leave his family. He had to laugh at fate. He also had to laugh at his Aunt. Even miles away she still knew what he was
thinking. How did she do that? Heath wasn’t sure but he figured it had
something to do with women. He wondered
if Mrs. Barkley had that special gift.
Probably with her real children, he thought to himself. Heath finally composed himself and began to
write his letter.
Dear
Aunt Rachel,
I just received your birthday card and the letter. I would like to say thank you for the card.
It was very beautiful and I will treasure it always.
It has been very difficult these past few months. I meant what I said in my letter that I want to make this work
Aunt Rachel. But I have never been
through something this hard before.
Even Carterson Prison wasn’t this difficult. I don’t know what’s
worse. Learning how to love and to
trust this new family or watching them struggle with the way everyone is
treating them because of me.
You always did know me Aunt Rachel. You probably won’t be surprised to learn that I had come to the
conclusion today to leave the family. I
don’t want to leave them but I feel all I’ve done is hurt them. I will be staying through the cattle drive
that I am sure of. I don’t want to
leave Nick alone with this drive. Plus
I always wondered what it’d be like to work a cattle drive with a brother. I’m actually looking forward to those six
weeks.
When I
was in town this week I saw a house for sale.
I talked to Jarrod tonight about it and I was wondering if you and
Hannah would consider moving here. I
know you haven’t wanted to move in the past.
But I think if you and Hannah were here that it would help. I want to stay Aunt Rachel. There’s a part of me that loves being part
of a family. The way Mrs. Barkley
always wants everyone home for dinner.
How after dinner everyone goes into the library where Jarrod, Nick and
me play pool while Mrs. Barkley and Audra either read a book or sew. But we are all in the room together and
enjoy each other’s company. I’m not use
to all of this yet but it’s real nice.
I would
really like for you and Hannah to meet the family and for them to meet you
all. I even asked Mrs. Barkley if we
could have Mama’s grave moved to the graveyard in Stockton and she said it
wouldn’t be a problem. She even said
Reverend Lewis would be accepting of it.
Please
say you’ll come. We can talk more about
it after the cattle drive when I come for a visit. But I hope you will think
about it. I will even consider your
words about staying. This isn’t easy
Aunt Rachel. I feel like I’m constantly
struggling with what’s right and wrong. I just hate to see the family hurting
so much and to feel that I am to blame.
Now would I encourage Audra to climb trees, Aunt Rachel? She
already knows how. I should have known you didn’t forget that climbing tree
incident. Oh well, I can only hope in a
few years it will become a distant memory.
It’s
getting late and I must go now. Yes I
did tell the family about my birthday.
They haven’t mentioned anything though so maybe they forgot. But I did tell them so put your wooden spoon
away please. I can’t wait to see you at
the end of June. I love and miss you
both so much.
Love
always,
Heath
Heath put down his pen and read the letter over once more
to make sure it sounded all right. He
then took out an envelope, addressed it to Miss
Rachel Caulfield, Strawberry California and then sealed it. He would make sure it was mailed in the
morning. Maybe Jarrod could take it
into town with him when he went to work.
He stood up from the desk and realized it had become very late. He picked up his birthday card and turned
off the oil lamp at his desk.
He walked over towards his bed and picked up his Mama’s
bible and placed the card in the back of the bible where the newspaper clipping
on Tom Barkley remained. He returned
the bible back to the nightstand beside his Mama’s picture. He smiled at his Mama’s face. He undressed for bed and put on his
nightshirt.
As he lay in bed he thought about his Aunt’s letter and
what she had told him. He fell asleep with a smile on his face as he thought
about how his Aunt’s letter and his thoughts to leave the family seemed to
happen on the same day. Maybe it was a
sign to try and make this work. He
wanted to make it work, he really did.
He just hoped his family’s pain would end soon.
The following morning after breakfast, Heath walked into
the barn whistling. He headed straight to Gal’s stall. He picked up a curry
brush and began to rub Gal down as he talked quietly to the horse. Nick walked into the barn and stopped to
watch his brother. He smiled and shook
his head at the idea his brother would rather talk to a horse then to people.
Nick rested against the stall and watched his brother. It took Heath a whole
minute before realizing he wasn’t alone.
“Howdy Nick.” Heath smiled while he continued to brush
Gal.
“Hello.” Nick grinned, “so is this the only way we get you
to talk is by having the listener be a horse?”
Heath simply grinned at Nick’s teasing as he continued brushing down
Gal.
“I guess so,” Nick laughed. “Amazing how you yammer away
like Audra with this horse but once a human walks into the room you shut your
trap.”
“Horses don’t talk back Nick.”
Nick rolled his eyes and turned to saddle Coco. “I need you to come out with me to the north
pasture to help with the branding.”
“I’ll be there,” Heath sighed.
Nick and Heath continue saddling their horses in
companionable silence. Just outside the barn a pair of hands releases a snake
from a burlap bag and it slithers into Gal’s stall through a crack in the wall.
“Have you written that letter to your Aunt about moving to
Stockton?” Nick asked.
“I wrote it last night.”
“Think they’ll say yes?”
“Not sure. They
haven’t been too agreeable about movin’ in the past.”
“Why would they want to stay in Strawberry?”
“I don’t think it’s so much the town but that it’s
considered home. I don’t think pickin’
up and movin’ to a new town interests them.”
“Well hopefully they’ll feel different about it this
time-” Before Nick could finish his thought Gal became agitated and started to
buck out of the stall. Nick turned
around and saw the snake that was ready to strike.
Heath was in the stall with Gal and when the horse jumped
back Heath lost his footing as he slammed into the barn wall mere inches from
the rattler. Nick drew his gun and shot
at the snake before it could strike his brother’s leg. The noise of the gun
frightened Gal even more and she stood on her two feet and was coming down with
Heath in her way. Heath tried to move from the horse’s attack but the hooves
came down on his chest throwing him back once again into the barn wall. Nick tried to help bring Gal out of the
stall and to calm her down but his efforts were proving to be unsuccessful.
The commotion brought men into the barn to check out what
was happening. Duke and a couple hands
helped lasso Gal and bring her out of the stall. Heath stood on unsteady legs as he tried to near his horse. He
placed a shaky hand on Gal’s nose and tried to calm the nervous horse. His soft
murmuring finally calmed the horse before Duke had one of the men take her to
another stall. Heath tried to walk with them but the pain in his chest and back
caused him to moan. Nick grabbed onto Heath’s shoulders and heard the sharp
intake of breath from his brother. Nick
and Duke shared a concerned look between them.
“Heath, son, come with me and Hattie can check you over to
make sure you’re all right.”
“No Duke, there’s no need, I’m fine.”
“That wasn’t a request.” Duke looked at the young blond
sternly.
“I’d listen to him if I was you Little Brother,” Nick
grinned. “Duke is much like mother
where he doesn’t take no for an answer.”
“But-”
“Come on!” Duke ordered as Heath and Nick began walking
with him to the Foreman’s home. The three men walked up the steps of the porch
and into the small kitchen where they saw Hattie taking biscuits out of the
oven.
“I heard a gun shot, is everything all right?” Hattie
looked at her husband and then the two Barkley brothers. Her eyes stopped on Heath and she frowned at
his disheveled appearance.
“We had a bit of an accident in the barn, Hattie, and
Heath got hurt. Mother and Silas are
away running some errands, so do you mind checking him over?” Nick asked.
“Come over here, Heath,” Hattie motioned Heath over to the
table. “I’ve nursed your brothers and
sister on many occasions through the years.
It’ll be a great honor to be your nurse as well,” Hattie smiled. “You
want to tell me what happened?” Hattie asked and when Heath remained silent
Duke offered up the story with Nick filling in the blanks. “Well Heath why
don’t you take off that shirt and let me check out the damage?”
“I told ‘em I’m fine, Mrs. M. There’s no need for this.” Heath’s face and neck flushed a
crimson red. Nick walked over to Heath
and placed his hand behind his brother’s neck.
“Hey Little Brother, Duke and Hattie are like family and
you can trust them. Hattie’s right, she has nursed us quite a bit.” Nick’s face
formed a mischievous grin as he continued. “In fact, next to Mother no woman
has seen more of me and Jarrod in our birthday suits.”
“Nicholas!” Hattie tried to scold Nick but she couldn’t
help but smile when she saw the mischievous grin on Nick’s face and the
lop-sided grin that appeared on Heath’s.
“Will you let me take a look, Heath?” Hattie smiled
Heath flushed as he looked up at Nick. Nick squeezed the
back of his brother’s neck and his face was full of understanding and
compassion. With shaky hands Heath slowly began to undo the buttons on his
shirt. Nick quickly finished the job
when Heath’s nervous hands had trouble with the buttons. Duke and Hattie shared a smile as they
watched the brothers. They knew Nick
always wanted a little brother to help him run the ranch and now he had that
little brother…and so much more.
After the shirt was unbuttoned those in the room whistled
at the bruises that had already formed on Heath’s chest. Nick slowly removed the shirt and kept a
hold of it in his hand. He then turned
to Hattie and gave her a small tap on the shoulder. “Go easy with him Hattie.”
Nick’s words were above a whisper and the look in his eyes told Hattie there
was more to the story.
Nick walked over to stand beside Duke while Hattie walked
over to stand in front of Heath.
Heath’s head was down and he was ringing his hands together. Hattie tilted his head up to look at her and
she saw shame in his eyes. She checked
over his ribs and informed the men there were no broken bones. She took out her liniment and applied the
medicine on his chest. She then asked him to turn around so she could check his
back.
Heath looked up once again at Nick and pleaded with his
eyes. Nick gave him an understanding smile and tilted his head to have him turn
around. Heath sighed and closed his
eyes tightly as he turned around. Nick was ready for the sight in front of him
but Duke and Hattie were far from prepared.
Hattie gasped as her hands flew to her mouth and tears
threatened to fall. She quickly
composed herself and did a rough examination of the bruises on his back. Her
fingers could feel the raised bumps from the scars on his back and with each
touch the anger inside of her continued to boil. She put liniment on the bruises and the cuts that were on his
left shoulder blade before she bandaged them.
Duke looked over at Nick, who had put his hand on his
shoulder. Both men had flashes of anger
in their eyes for the men responsible for such brutality that had been
inflicted against the young man they had both learned to care about.
After Hattie tended to Heath’s injuries Nick gave back his
shirt and helped him put it on. “Well
Heath I do believe if you play your cards right you can get Nick here to do all
your work while he waits on you hand and foot.” Hattie teased the blond, who
laughed at the possibilities she was offering him.
“Ha! Don’t you even think about it boy!” Nick feigned
gruffness but was secretly relieved that Hattie was able to make his brother
laugh.
When Heath turned around Duke and Hattie saw the shame and
embarrassment in his eyes. Hattie looked at Heath and growled, “Heath Barkley,
you get that shame out of those eyes this instant!” Heath and Nick’s heads
bounced up as they looked into the angry eyes of Hattie McCall.
“I am not some stranger, Heath, I am a friend and
hopefully one day you will consider me family.
There is nothing to be ashamed of and if you don’t keep that head of
yours up from now on then you will answer to me young man! Do I make myself
clear?”
“Yes Ma’am,” Heath replied automatically, causing Hattie
to groan from the dreaded word as she threw her hands up into the air.
“Well you most certainly are a Barkley because you have
that cussed stubborn streak that’s a mile long!” Nick and Duke tried to hide
their grins at the woman’s tirade. Heath looked confused and wondered what he
did to make her go off.
“How many times do I have to tell you. Victoria may allow you to call her Ma’am and
Mrs. Barkley young man but I will not tolerate either one.” Hattie paused. “Now. Let us try this again,
shall we?” Hattie quieted her voice but it remained very stern. “Did anything I
just say to you sink into that Barkley stubborn head of yours?”
“Yes Mrs. M. it has.”
“Oh now that is what I like to hear,” Hattie smiled at the
affectionate nickname she was quickly growing to love as she pulled Heath into
a motherly hug that he returned. She looked over Heath’s shoulder and saw Nick
mouth ‘thank you’. She winked at him and smiled.
Pulling Heath away she kept her hands on his shoulders and
gave him a mischievous smile and a wink. “Now you take it easy, and I still
think you should play this for all it’s worth and make Nick do your work for
you. It’ll make him appreciate you more if he doesn’t have you out there on the
range to boss around.”
“Hey!” Nick feigned a hurt look in his eyes causing
everyone in the room to laugh. “Come on, boy let’s get out of here before
Hattie gives you anymore of her bright ideas.”
“See, Heath, even Nick thinks my ideas are bright.” Hattie
laughed as Nick and Heath walked out of the house. Duke followed behind the laughing brothers after giving his wife
a hug and a kiss.
* * * * * * * *
Heath started walking towards the barn when Nick grabbed
his arm. “Where are you going? You
should go in the house and rest.”
“I need to check on Gal, Nick…and I’m fine.”
“Sure you are,” Nick mumbled as they walked to the
barn. Gus saw the men coming into the
barn and waved at them.
“Hey Heath,” Gus ran over to him. “Your horse isn’t doing
so good. She was bit by that rattler.”
The brothers dashed into the barn past the crowd of men
standing around. Heath knelt down by his horse as he rubbed her leg. The affects of the snake bite and Gal’s
impending pain was apparent. Heath looked up at Nick and the look in his eyes
tore his heart. He understood the connection between man and horse and knew how
his brother felt.
“Heath, why don’t you go into the house and get some rest.
I’ll take care of this.” Nick petted Gal’s head.
“No Nick I should be the one.”
“No!” Nick looked at him and refused to back down. “If it was Coco…” Nick paused and glanced at
his horse, “you would do the same for me.
Go into the house Heath.”
Duke came over and knelt beside Heath. “Nick’s right,
Heath. Let him take care of this. You need to rest after the bruising you took
today. Come on.”
“Gimme a minute,” Heath petted Gal and wouldn’t look up at
the men.
“Come on guys! We
got work to do today!” Duke gathered the men and ushered them out of the barn
as he barked orders for them to carry out.
“I got her when I was twelve,” Heath quietly spoke to Nick
above a whisper. “Mama got her for me for my birthday. It was the only time I got something I
really wanted for my birthday. I knew
we needed the money more then the horse but I really wanted her. Mama sacrificed so much for me to keep
her. We’ve been through so much
together.”
Nick touched Heath’s shoulder, “you take as long as you
need Little Brother.” He stood up and walked away to allow his brother time
alone with his horse.
* * * * * * * *
Outside the barn Mike, one of the ranch hands, tapped on
the foreman’s shoulder. “Duke, I think you should see this.”
“What is it Mike?”
Mike handed Duke the burlap bag. “Me and some of the men tried
to figure how the snake got into the barn so we did some checkin’. This was
outside the barn on the other side of Gal’s stall. There was a small openin’ that looks to be made by force and how
the snake appeared to have got in.”
“And this bag was left there?” Duke frowned when Mike
nodded his answer. ”Damn it!” Duke swore as he hit his fist on the edge of the
corral fence.
“I know some of the men have had a problem with Heath,
Duke, but to kill his horse? Most men
here care too much about horses to go that far.”
“I don’t know if it was so much the horse or if it was
Heath they were after. But either way I
don’t think whoever did this cared which of them got hurt.”
“Whoever did this was willin’ to resort to murder just to
get Heath off this ranch!” Mike’s anger flared up in his eyes.
“Mike, when people have so much hate and prejudice inside
of them they have no morals and don’t care who is hurt by their actions.”
Mike tapped the foreman’s arm as Heath walked out of the
barn. “Mike don’t say anything right
now. I need to talk with Nick about
this.”
“Sure thing Duke,” Mike replied as Heath walked up to
them.
“I’m sorry about your horse, Heath. Are you all right?”
Mike was Heath’s first friend when he rode onto the ranch and after the news
about his parentage was announced Mike was one of the very few hands that
didn’t give him a hard time. Heath
appreciated his kindness and knew Mike was a good friend.
“Thanks Mike, I’ll be fine,” Heath smiled.
“Heath, go on into the house. Tomorrow you can work but
today you rest.” Duke patted Heath’s shoulder.
Heath didn’t say anything but nodded and began to walk towards the
house.
A few minutes later, Duke and Mike jumped when they heard
a gun shot come from inside the barn.
Heath stopped walking after the shot rang into his ears and tears began
to form in his eyes before he continued his walk into the house.
Nick was washing up at the water trough when the Barkley
buggy pulled up to the house with Victoria, Audra and Silas inside. Jarrod was riding alongside the buggy on
Jingo and rode up to the barn. Giving
his horse to Ciego Jarrod met up with Nick.
“Hello Brother Nick,” Jarrod smiled. “Have a good day?”
“No I didn’t,” Nick frowned as he walked with his family
inside the house.
Victoria and Jarrod shared a concerned look. “You and Heath still aren’t on the outs are
you? I thought you were going to settle that little argument?”
“They’re brothers Jarrod, they’ll always going to find
something to fight about,” Audra teased.
“Well I didn’t do anything this time!” Nick snapped as he
removed his gun belt and slammed it on the table causing everyone to jump from
the noise.
“Nick, where’s Heath?” Jarrod asked concerned with his
brother’s behavior.
“He’s upstairs in his room taking a nap. I should go check on him before I take a
bath.”
“First, you will tell me why you’re in a bad mood and why
your brother is taking a nap in the middle of the day,” Victoria looked sternly
at Nick and he could only see the concern in her eyes.
Nick sighed, “I had to put down Heath’s horse Gal.” Everyone in the room gasped at Nick’s news.
Jarrod poured everyone a glass of brandy.
“What?” Audra cried out, “Why? What happened?”
“Duke and Mike found a burlap bag outside the barn and a
hole someone made inside of Gal’s stall,” Nick drank down the brandy in one
swallow and slammed the glass on the table.
He ran his hands through his hair and began pacing.
”What was in the bag, Nick?” Jarrod’s voice was full of concern and impatience
when Nick didn’t offer any further explanation.
“A rattler!” Nick growled, “someone put a damn rattler in
Gal’s stall! AND HEATH WAS IN THE STALL
WITH HER!” Nick slammed his hands on the mantle and bowed his head with his
hands holding tightly to the mantle.
“I turn around and the rattler was getting ready to strike
and Gal went crazy. She attacked Heath and knocked him against the barn wall a
couple times. Duke and I were able to
get her calmed down and Heath out of the stall. We took him to see Hattie and she took care of him. He didn’t have anything broken just a lot of
bruises and some scrapes on his left shoulder blade. He didn’t want anyone to
see his back but I had no choice. Hattie was really good with him though and
got him to relax.”
“We leave the house and Gus comes to tell us that Gal was
bit by the rattler and she was…she was dying.
Damn it! That boy didn’t want to
lose her. I couldn’t let him put her
down…so I did.” Nick turned around and looked at his family. “Did you know Leah
gave that horse to Heath when he was twelve years old? They needed the money more than that horse
but she sacrificed whatever it took knowing how much it meant to him. They probably went without food so he could
have that horse AND I HAD TO KILL HER!”
Nick flopped down in the chair and buried his face in his
hands. Victoria walked over to Nick and placed her hand under his chin to make
him look at her. “You did what you had to, Nick. She would have suffered and
died a slow painful death if you didn’t. It would have been worse for Heath if
you made him do it.”
“I know that, Mother.” Nick sighed, “It’s just that it
broke his heart. I broke his heart!”
Victoria pulled her son into an embrace and held on tightly to him. Silence filled the room as everyone thought
about what had been told to them.
“It could have been Heath,” Audra sobbed as she sat on the
sofa and buried her face in her hands.
Jarrod went over and held his sister in his arms. Victoria and Nick
looked at Audra in stunned realization.
“Oh my God someone tried to kill Heath!”
* * * * * * * *
The family ate their dinner with very little talk among
them. Everyone had too much on their
minds and weren’t in the mood to pretend the afternoon’s events didn’t affect
them. Heath had refused to come down
and join them for dinner, claiming he wasn’t hungry. Victoria had Silas fix him a tray and take it to his room in case
he felt like eating. After dinner Nick
excused himself.
Walking into the barn, Nick went over to Coco’s stall and
began petting his long mane. He
remembered the day his father gave him the horse. He was nine years old and was so excited to finally get the honor
of having his own horse. His father
told him it was a privilege to own a horse and there were huge responsibilities
he would have to undertake. Nick beamed
up at his father and promised him that he would never regret giving him his own
horse. That was one promise Nick never
broke and his father knew it.
“Hello Brother Nick,” Jarrod tapped Nick’s shoulder. Nick was surprised to see Jarrod standing
beside him.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” Nick sighed.
“You seemed deep in thought,” Jarrod smiled stroking
Coco’s neck.
“I was thinking about the day Father gave me Coco,” Nick
smiled at the memory.
“I remember, you talked about him for a long time after
that. I remember you trying to give him
a name and couldn’t think of one. Then
Mother came out with cups of cocoa for you and me. Father made a joke that Coco was the same color as your hot
chocolate with the whip cream on top and your eyes lit up like a Christmas
tree. That’s when you announced you
would name him Coco.” Jarrod and Nick laughed at the story.
“Father probably thought I was nuts naming my horse after
hot chocolate.”
“He didn’t think you were nuts. He actually thought it was very creative. He also couldn’t help but hold a little
pride in the fact HE was the one who helped you name your horse.”
“Really?” Nick looked at his big brother unable to hide
his surprise.
“It meant something to him to know he helped you, even if
it wasn’t intentional.” Jarrod shared the memory, “you could see it in his
eyes.”
The brothers stood in silence as they petted Coco’s neck
and thinking about their father. “I
wish Heath could have met Father, Pappy.”
“Me too, Nick.”
“I wish he could’ve grown up here with us. His life wouldn’t have been so hard.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t grow up with us.”
Jarrod replied receiving a glare from his brother. Jarrod grinned, “with that
mischievous streak in him he would have sent both of you to the woodshed more
times then you already had gone by yourself.”
Nick laughed, “Well at least I would’ve had some company
with me.” Both brothers shared a laugh
before growing quiet.
When a horse whinnied in the next stall, Nick and Jarrod
looked over. Nick had tried to give
Charger to Heath but his brother refused the horse. He was fond of his little pony and despite the teasing about her
size he refused to give her up. Nick
walked over and began petting Charger’s neck.
“What’s a matter boy, you lonely?” Nick petted Charger’s
neck and laughed as the horse enjoyed the extra attention. As the horses nose touched his hand a smile
graced Nick’s face at the idea that had come to him.
Victoria quietly opened the door to Heath’s bedroom and
peeked inside the room. The wind was
blowing through the open window flapping the curtains quietly against the
windowsill and the moon’s glow cast a dim light into the room. Heath was lying on his right side and was
asleep. Victoria quietly walked into
the room and sat on the side of the bed and her heart broke when she saw dried
tears on his face. She desperately wanted
to take away his hurt just like she would if he was one of her birth children. She gently caressed his cheek wiping away
the tearstains and then brushed her hand through his hair.
In the two months since Heath arrived at the ranch
Victoria’s feelings for her husband’s son were starting to change. It was his amazing resemblance to her
husband that took her by surprise at first but was later a welcomed gift. Each time she looked at him she saw the
early days of her marriage, so many memories were resurrected in her mind when
she looked at him. She felt her
husband’s spirit breathe new life into her soul and into her heart.
But as time passed it wasn’t necessarily Heath’s
resemblance to her husband that caused her happiness. There was something that she couldn’t explain happening inside of
her. She felt this young man, her husband’s
son, was becoming her son. Why was she
feeling this way? She tried to fight
the confused emotions inside of her.
Her growing feelings for motherhood towards Heath had her
speaking to Reverend Lewis for guidance.
Reverend Lewis became the minister at her and Tom’s church in Stockton
25 years ago. He was also one of the
older Stockton residents who remembered a young Tom Barkley. Reverend Lewis
heard the gossip of Heath’s arrival and he remembered the day over 20 years ago
when Tom and Victoria saw him for council.
He was aware of Tom’s infidelity and he helped the young couple’s
marriage survive such a betrayal. When
he was introduced to Heath that first Sunday after his arrival there was no
doubt in his mind he was Tom’s son. The
resemblance Heath carried of Tom Barkley shook the Reverend to his very
core.
He and Victoria spent many afternoons talking about
Heath’s entry into the Barkley’s lives.
The good Reverend even tried to help ease Victoria’s guilt in regards to
the fact she and Tom never made sure a child was never involved. When Victoria confided in the Reverend about
her growing feelings of motherhood towards Heath he was quite pleased to hear
about her complete acceptance she had willingly gave to the young man. He gave her peace of mind that her feelings
were natural, much like those of an adoptive parent who has adopted a
child.
Victoria found with each day that she wanted nothing more
than to adopt Heath as her child. She
wondered if Heath would ever look at her as a mother the way she looked at him
as a son.
He felt his mother’s touch through his hair and as he opened his eyes he had a
glimmer of hope he would see Leah staring down at him. Instead he was surprised to see that it was
Victoria instead. His initial shock at
realizing it wasn’t Leah had Heath involuntarily flinching from her touch. Victoria’s heart broke when she felt him
flinch.
“I’m sorry to have waken you sweetheart. I just wanted to check and make sure you
were all right.” Victoria smiled down at Heath hoping he couldn’t see the pain
she felt from his rejection to her motherly touch.
“It’s all right,” Heath offered a lop-sided grin as he
turned over on his back. Victoria raised an eyebrow when she saw him wince at
the movement.
“Lucky for you I brought some liniment with me,” she
teased.
“There’s no need…really.”
“Nice try, but it’s not going to work.” Victoria laughed
when he groaned at her response. “Anyway I want to check those injuries out for
myself for peace of mind. It’ll make
this mother feel better if you let me.”
“Yes’m.” Heath
sighed as he relented to her request.
Victoria turned down the covers to his waist and then
helped pull the nightshirt up over his head and through his arms. She thought it was best to ignore the blush
on Heath’s face that only became a deeper red with every passing minute. Running her hands over the bruises she
pressed on his ribs to make sure that there were no broken ribs. Victoria was pleased to find that except for
the extensive bruising on his chest there were no further injuries
detected. Opening the liniment, she
applied the medicine to his chest. She
smiled as the cool medicine’s contact with his bruised chest caused Heath to
sigh in relief.
“Feel better?” Victoria smiled and although Heath didn’t
reply the big smile on his face was enough for her. After applying the medicine Victoria looked at Heath. “Turn
over?”
“I was hoping you’d forget about that,” Heath groaned as
he turned over on his stomach. Victoria
helped maneuver the blankets to allow Heath free mobility to turn on his
stomach. Lying on his back Victoria
winced as she saw the scars on his back for the first time. Although Jarrod and Nick informed her about
the scars she wasn’t prepared to see them.
Hearing about the scars and seeing them were very different. Her heart broke before anger took its place.
She never thought of herself as a vengeful person, but she couldn’t help feel
very angry towards the monsters that would beat this young man…her son.
Running her hands across his back over the bruises she
felt the bumps under her fingertips with each ministration. After applying liniment to the bruises she
changed the bandage on the cut on his left shoulder blade. After composing her emotions to what she
hoped was satisfactory she spoke.
“All right I’m done.
See, it wasn’t that bad now was it?” Victoria smiled.
Heath turned over on his back and as he looked into her
eyes he saw the emotions she was trying to hide. But what shocked him the most were the emotions in her eyes were
much like those of Leah’s when she saw the scars on his back. The look was that of a mother’s
unconditional love.
Victoria saw Heath’s reaction and realized he noticed her
emotions were not as composed, as she would’ve liked them to be. A single tear fell down her cheek. Heath reached up his right hand and his
thumb gently wiped the tear away.
Victoria grabbed his hand into her own and entwined their fingers
together before looking at Heath and seeing the tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” his plea was above a whisper.
“Oh sweetheart.” Victoria reached down and wiped the tears
from his eyes the way he had done for her.
“You have nothing to apologize for.
It just pains me to know someone has hurt you so much.”
Without thinking of his guarded feelings towards her and
the fear of his rejection she opened up her arms and welcomed him into them the
way she would for any of her children.
Yearning to feel the arms of a mother and needing to feel that love he
sat up and reached out his arms to her and wrapped them around her waist. She
pulled him close to her chest with her head resting softly on top of his. Their
arms held on tight to one another as they both for a moment allowed the guarded
wall between them fall to the side. She
rocked them gently back and forth as they cried.
Neither had heard the bedroom door quietly open as Jarrod
and Nick walked into the room. The brothers looked at each other in concern as
they wondered what could have happened between their mother and brother. Jarrod and Nick slowly walked up to the bed
and Jarrod gently put a hand on Victoria’s shoulder. As they walked up closer to the bed they realized that Heath
wasn’t wearing his nightshirt and that his back was exposed. They made eye contact and each brother
realized what Victoria had seen.
Victoria looked up and reached out for Jarrod, who grasped
the hand in his own. Nick, who had
walked over to the other side, sat down on the bed and placed his left hand on
Victoria’s back while his right hand rested on Heath’s shoulder. Nobody moved
as they allowed love to transfer through each other offering one another the
strength they needed.
Jarrod insisted that Victoria and Heath both get some rest
and he kept his arm on her shoulder as she stood up from the bed. After running her hand through Heath’s hair
and offering an apology for Gal’s death, Victoria exited the room with
Jarrod. Nick stayed behind and helped
Heath put on his nightshirt.
“Goodnight Little Brother.” Nick turned from the bed to
leave the room when he felt a hand grab his own. He stopped and looked down and saw Heath’s hand holding his own.
“Thanks.” Heath’s eyes were the windows to his soul and
there were times that Nick found himself shaken by the emotions that could be
read in those baby blues. Nick believed
Heath had the best poker face in Stockton and there were times it was hard to
read the boy’s expression. But Nick
learned early on that to read Heath you look straight into his eyes. It didn’t take long before Nick was able to
read Heath like a good book.
“Go to sleep.” Nick nodded then walked out of the room and
shut the door.
* * * * * * * *
In the darkness of morning Nick came out of his room buttoning
up his shirt with his vest draped over his right arm. Walking to Heath’s door he knocked lightly and before hearing a
‘come in’ he opened the door walking into the room. Heath looked up from the bed with beads of sweat on his
face. He was attempting to put on his
boots but his bruised chest was hurting while he bent over.
“Can’t you wait to hear a ‘come in’ before bargin’ in my
room?” Heath growled.
“Good morning to you too Little Brother. How’d you sleep? Not well? Maybe you
should stay in bed today and rest up some more.” Nick rattled on with a one-sided conversation that only annoyed
his brother more causing him to roll his eyes.
“Now if you’re going to roll your eyes at me boy I won’t help you put on
those boots.” Nick teased as he knelt down in front of Heath.
“I don’t need any help I can do this myself.” Heath
announced defiantly.
“Yeah I’m sure you’re stubborn enough to do it without any
help, but if you don’t want to miss the sunrise maybe you should let your big
brother help you.”
Heath sighed as he straightened up on the bed. Nick gave a sly smile and before putting on
the boots he lightly ran his fingers across the bottom of his brother’s
feet. “Stop that,” Heath ordered but
couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped his lips.
“That’s better.” Nick laughed as he proceeded to put on
the boots.
* * * * * * * *
The brothers walked down the backstairs to the kitchen
where Silas had fresh coffee on the stove for them. Heath grabbed the cups from the cupboard while Nick poured the
coffee. Taking their cups the brothers
walked outside and towards the corral where they would watch the sunrise. The
brothers leaned against the corral fence with the cups resting on the posts.
After the sun rose for the new day, Nick looked at Heath
and grinned, nudging his shoulder.
“Come with me boy, I have something to show you.”
Heath was confused at what his brother was doing but
without saying a word he walked with Nick towards the barn. Nick led Heath into the barn and down the
row of stalls. Stopping in front of
Charger’s stall Nick petted the horse’s neck.
“Nice horse, don’t you think?”
“Yes Nick he is,” Heath replied wearing his poker face.
“Heath, I’m going to be straight with you. You need a horse to work this ranch with
me. You didn’t want Charger when…just
say you’ll take him now.”
After a long silence between them Heath sighed. “Fine.”
“All right, I guess that’ll do.” Nick sighed before giving
Charger one final pat and turning to leave.
Heath looked at Charger who was not happy Nick stopped petting him. Charger stared at Heath as though he was
hoping he’d start up with the affection.
Instead Heath turned around and began walking out of the barn with
Nick. Nick rolled his eyes but didn’t
say anything. This wasn’t going to be
easy.
The brothers walked into the house for breakfast with the
family. Victoria had already come
downstairs and was seated at her usual spot at the end of the table. Nick and Heath slid into their spots
offering a mumbled good morning to Victoria.
Victoria eyed her sons and knew that not all was well. Jarrod soon arrived at the table followed by
Audra.
“So what does everyone have planned for this morning?”
Victoria asked while everyone began filling their plates with biscuits, gravy,
eggs, toast and bacon.
“I’ll be going to town to my office. I have to work late tonight. I don’t know if I’ll be home for dinner
tonight, Mother.”
“Oh Jarrod,” Victoria sighed. She hated it when all her children couldn’t be around the dinner
table but she understood that sometimes it couldn’t be helped. Jarrod looked at his mother apologetically
and her look told him she understood.
“I’m going to the orphanage this morning. The older children are taking exams for the
end of school year and I’m going to help tutor them.”
“I take it you will be all day, dear?” Victoria asked her
daughter.
“Yes, Mother. I
will be home in time for dinner tonight though.” Audra smiled knowing her
mother would be happy with that news.
Victoria looked at her daughter and gave an appreciative smile.
“What about you boys? Going to be branding today for the
cattle drive next week?”
“Yes, Mother.” Nick replied in between bites of his
food. Everyone in the room looked at
each other. After yesterday everyone
knew what was wrong.
“Heath, I don’t want you to work too hard today all right?
Give those bruises some time to heal.” Victoria paused and smiled, “or I’ll
make you stay in bed.”
“Yes’m.” Heath didn’t respond to Victoria’s threat causing
her to frown.
“Nick, please don’t push him too hard today and make sure
he doesn’t overdue it.”
“Yes, Mother.”
Victoria threw up her hands in resignation realizing her
sons wouldn’t carry on their side of the conversation. The rest of the meal was eaten with idle chatter.
Audra talked about the children at the orphanage, Jarrod spoke of his impending
court case and Victoria explained about the quilt she was making for the church
bazaar. After breakfast Nick and Heath
began their day out on the range, Jarrod left for town and Audra left for the
orphanage.
Victoria was now alone and she sighed to herself at the
silence in the large house. Heading up
the stairs she would go to the sewing room and begin work on the quilt she was
making. The quilt was for the bazaar
that was held by the church every August and raised money for the less
fortunate in Stockton. They were people who would need help throughout the fall
and winter months and Victoria and Reverend Lewis were in charge of the bazaar.
* * * * * * * *
For the rest of the week Victoria worked tirelessly
planning the church bazaar. Jarrod
busied himself with his recent court case and Audra helped the orphan’s with
their end of year school exams. Nick and Heath worked on branding the cattle
and making sure everything was ready for the cattle drive that was only days
away.
Heath reluctantly agreed to use Charger as his horse. He thought Charger was a magnificent horse
but still Heath struggled with his emotions.
On one hand he was thrilled to have such a powerful horse belong to him,
but deep inside he feared that Charger would receive the same fate as his mount
Gal. He told himself he wouldn’t get
too close to the horse. Heath didn’t want to feel the pain in his heart that
he felt when he lost his beloved black pony. He couldn't bear it if Charger
were to become another target of someone's hatred of the Barkley bastard.
Nick and Heath were at the North Ridge sitting on the
cliff watching the sunrise. Leaning
against a tree they sat in companionable silence as the sun’s rays blanketed
over the ranch. With the cattle drive in only two days the boys came to their
favorite place on the ranch to take advantage of a sight they wouldn’t be
seeing for nearly two months.
“I’ll never get tired of this view,” Nick grinned.
”Me neither,” Heath replied.
After a half-hour the brothers realized it was time to
head home. The family would soon be
gathering around the breakfast table, and the brothers didn’t want to be
late. They rode for home and tied their
horses to the hitching post before walking through the front door and towards
the dining room.
After breakfast was served and eaten the family attended
Sunday services. Victoria had previously suggested a picnic after church
because of the beautiful weather and nobody objected. Once the family returned
home Nick and Heath changed their clothes and checked out the immediate
concerns of the ranch agreeing to meet the family at the site of the picnic
before food was to be served. Victoria
and Audra loaded the food that had been previously prepared into the picnic
basket. Jarrod drove Victoria and Audra to their destination.
The picnic was at a lake only a half-mile from the Barkley
home. There were many trees to offer shade
from the sun and a small embankment towards the lake that offered lots of
catfish, that had become the target of many Barkley fishing poles. Once they arrived at the lake Victoria and
Audra set up a large blanket on the ground and began setting out the food. Jarrod was in charge of bringing he and his
brothers fishing poles and their tackle boxes.
He walked near the lake and set down the poles and tackle, where they
would sit until it was time for the afternoon of family fun to begin. Jarrod then returned and helped Audra carry
packages from the buggy and place them on the blanket. Then Victoria and Jarrod took the large
homemade sign and hung it on the tree behind the blanket. After the sign was hung, Victoria turned
around and looked at her son and daughter with all of them wearing large
smiles. They were anxious for this very special day and couldn’t wait for the
festivities to begin.
Nick and Heath arrived shortly thereafter and as they tied
up their horses near the buggy they walked towards the blanket. Victoria, Jarrod and Audra were standing in
front of the blanket to prevent the view of their feast and welcomed the
brothers. As the brothers walked closer
everyone stepped away from the blanket and waited for the reaction they had all
anticipated. Suddenly Heath stopped in
his tracks as he stared at the set-up only a few feet in front of him. He looked over and saw Nick standing beside
him wearing a large grin, telling him that he was in on this as well.
“SURPRISE!” The cheerful greeting from his family filled
the air and Heath was so stunned that he couldn’t move, causing Nick to put his
arm around his shoulder encouraging him to walk closer to the family.
The blanket was set-up with food and presents covered in elaborate wrapping
paper. A sign hung from the tree above saying, “Happy 21st Birthday
Heath.”
“Boy Howdy,” had been the only words the speechless cowboy
was able to speak as he stood in front of his family.
“Happy Birthday Heath,” Victoria said as she hugged him.
“Thank you.” Heath’s face was crimson as he followed his
family’s lead by sitting down around the blanket, marveling at the gifts. Everyone in the family wore large smiles on
their faces as they realized the blond cowboy had no idea of their
surprise. This would be a very special
day for this new family member and everyone was determined to make it a
memorable one.
“Heath,” Victoria began, “we wanted to do something
special for your birthday but we knew that you wouldn’t want a big fuss. So we
thought a quiet picnic with the family would be just the right fare.”
“Uh huh,” Heath was still in awe as he stared at the
elaborate wrapping of gifts in front of him before looking into his family
members taking in their reactions one by one. The look of surprise on Heath’s face
caused his siblings to chuckle.
“Well I do believe we surprised him,” Nick chuckled with
satisfaction as Jarrod and Audra’s laughter soon joined his own.
“Open my gift first, Heath.” Audra picked up her gift and
handed it to her brother. “I hope you like it.” Heath took the package and began tearing off the wrapping. With
the wrapping removed Heath opened the box and found a bronze medal figurine of
a cowboy on top of a bucking bronco.
“I thought you could use something to help decorate your
room. Do you like it?”
“I… love…it…thanks…” Heath stuttered as his shaky hands
traced the shiny delicate figurine in his hands.
“Heath, this is from me,” Jarrod commented as he picked up
his package and gave it to Heath.
Heath’s shaky hands picked up the package and tore off the
wrapping. Opening the smooth cherry
wood box Heath saw a shiny pistol inside with an eagle carving on the handle.
“It’s beautiful Jarrod…thank you,” Heath smiled as he
caressed the medal. His throat constricted when he saw his initials HTB that
were carved on the firearm.
“This package is from Rosa,” Jarrod smiled as he handed
Heath another package. A stunned Heath
took the package and unwrapped the box to find a set of the finest books he had
ever seen in his life.
“Rosa thought you might want to start your own collection
of books in your room,” Jarrod smiled.
“Thank…you…” Heath tried to fight the lump in his throat
as he flipped through the crisp pages of one of the books in his hands.
“This is from me,” Nick declared as Jarrod helped him move
the package closer to Heath. The size
of the package caused Heath’s eyes to widen.
“Boy Howdy, Nick.”
Heath began to remove the wrapping from the package and as the paper
came away Heath gasped when he saw the shiniest saddle he had ever seen.
“Thought you could use a fine saddle for Charger,” Nick
beamed.
Heath’s hands ran across the brown leather saddle that had
designs traced throughout with shiny medal stirrups. The Barkley brand was embedded on one side of the saddle and the
other side carried his initials HTB.
“Heath?” Victoria lightly touched his arm. “You have one
more gift to open.” Victoria handed her
gift to Heath. Heath smiled at Victoria
and began to tear off the wrapping.
Heath’s shock had him nearly dropping the box in his hands as he opened
it and saw the contents inside.
“Mrs. Barkley…”
“These items belonged to your father, Heath. Tom’s father gave him the cufflinks on our
wedding day. He considered those
cufflinks to be his lucky charm and he wore them whenever he felt he needed
some extra luck. The ink well set was
given to him as a gift from his grandfather when he moved to California to
begin this ranch. And finally the pocket watch was given to Tom by me on our
silver anniversary.”
“I can’t take these…they belong to you…” Heath looked at
Victoria.
“No, Heath, they belong to you.” Victoria reassured him as
her small hands covered the larger hands, “we all talked it over so if you feel
anyone here doesn’t agree then that isn’t true.”
“He was your father too Heath,” Audra spoke up. “You deserve to have something that belonged
to him. It’s the least we can give.”
“I’ll treasure them always, thank you.” Heath choked out
his promise.
“We never doubted otherwise, Little Brother,” Nick grinned
as he patted Heath’s back and then he changed his soft tone to a gruff
one. “Now I’m hungry! Are we going to let this wonderful food that
Silas and Mother cooked get cold?”
Jarrod and Victoria shared a smile as they realized Nick was
trying to get the attention off Heath.
“Sure Nick, but only because you get too cranky when you’re hungry,”
Jarrod teased breaking the tension and causing everyone to share in a much
needed laugh.
After the food was eaten the family enjoyed a leisure
afternoon near the lake. Jarrod, Nick,
Heath and Audra took in some fishing and some family fun as they bet on who
could catch the most fish. Victoria sat
nearby soaking her feet in the water and simply enjoyed the presence of her
children. Everyone told stories and
shared in some laughs. Words were spoken and before too long the four siblings
were chasing each other around the open field before one by one each of them
ended up pushed into the cool water, clothes and all. Victoria shook her head and laughed as she watched them play like
small children.
It was late afternoon when the family packed up the food
and packages so they could return home.
Everyone was exhausted by the picnic and the ride to the house was quiet
each of them deep in thought about their day spent near the lake. Victoria, Jarrod, Nick and Audra were warmed
by the laughter coming from the newest member to their family and they were all
satisfied this birthday would be one he’d never forget. Heath was thinking about the love he felt
for this new family of his…and how he would never forget this day for as long
as he lived.
Nick and Heath were in Stockton picking up supplies needed
for the cattle drive. As they loaded up
the last of the supplies into the wagon they wiped the sweat off their brow.
“Boy Howdy, Nick, it’s hotter than blazes out here,” Heath
sighed.
“You can say that again.
How about a beer to cool us off.”
Nick grinned.
“That’s the best idea you’ve had all day Big Brother.”
Heath replied as Nick slapped him on the back and they walked towards
Annie’s. Entering the saloon Harry
heaved a heavy sigh as the brothers walked up to the bar.
“How ‘bout two beers Harry,” Nick smiled as he placed his
hat on the bar.
“Sure thing Nick,” Harry replied.
“I’d like one too Harry,” Heath grinned causing Nick to
cuff him on the back of the head.
“How many times I gotta tell ya boy that you’re not
funny,” Nick growled.
“If ya say so Nick,” Heath replied taking the beer Harry
put in front of him. The cool drink soothed
the scorched cowboys and they sighed with relief.
“Well if it’s not the bastard,” scowled someone from
behind. The words caused the brothers
to grow tense. Harry eyed the situation
and swore to stop the trouble before it started.
“Ignore ‘em Nick,” Heath whispered receiving a growl from Nick as his response.
“Look Keith I’m in no mood to have another busted up
saloon,” Harry warned pointing his finger at the men behind Nick and Heath.
“Well Harry if you didn’t allow scum in your bar then the
place wouldn’t get dirtied up.” Nick
turned around with Heath doing the same.
“Well now Keith I use to think better of you,” Nick
frowned looking at his father’s long time friend as he stood with his sons.
“Now Nick you know I have no problem with you but it’s
this…” Keith waved his hand at hand, “this impostor you’re hanging around with
that’s the problem.”
“Impostor?” Nick raised his eyebrow. “Now Keith if our
family doesn’t think he’s an impostor why should you care?”
“I’ve known Tom Barkley for many years and he’d never
have-”
“Like you haven’t?” Nick scoffed causing Keith to raise
his fist. Nick never flinched as he stared the man down and prepared for the
hit that didn’t come
“Your father is rolling in his grave boy…look at you! He’d be ashamed of what you’ve
done…destroying his reputation in this town. He was a good man!”
“Now Keith, I think I know my father better than you ever
did and by that statement I’d say you didn’t know him at all.” Nick announced as he took his hat off the
bar and put it on. “Come on Heath.”
“You know Nick if you want to hang around somebody like
him that’s fine for you, but I don’t ‘preciate having him in charge of my
cattle.”
“You allowed my family to take care of your cattle for
this drive when you signed the contract with our father years ago.” Nick
retorted.
“Well, maybe it’s time I cancel that contract.” Keith put
his hands across his chest. “I’ve done business with your family as long as I
can remember Nick but maybe it’s time for a change.”
“Yes Keith maybe it is.” Nick announced as he dropped the
coins on the counter and started to walk out of the saloon with Heath.
“He’s not worth all the backlash your family is getting
Nick!” Keith shouted from behind.
“The hell he isn’t.” Nick turned around and his hazel eyes
bore into Keith causing the older man to stumble at the intense stare that was
so much like Tom Barkley’s. “He’s a better man then any of you will ever be.”
“If anything happens to my cattle on that drive!” Keith
warned as the brothers walked out of the saloon, ignoring his threat making him
angrier that he was ignored. “Damn that bastard!”
After leaving the saloon Heath started to walk towards the
wagon when Nick stopped him in front of the barber. “Hey Heath, we’ve got six weeks ahead of us on the trail what do
you say we get us a haircut and shave to hold us over?”
“I don’t know Nick,” Heath sighed. Heath was ready to get home. Not only was he tired and hot but he just
spent all afternoon in town being the subject to stares and whispers, and now
with what just happened in Annie’s he just wanted to go home. Nick glanced at his brother and knew what he
was thinking.
“It’ll be all right Little Brother.” Nick paused, “we
can’t let these narrow-minded bigots run our lives!” Nick announced louder than
usual knowing others were standing around.
Those standing near the brothers quickly walked away obviously offended
by the words of the rancher. Heath
sighed and rolled his eyes. “Come on!”
Nick grabbed Heath by the shoulders and guided him inside.
As they walked inside the building the men sitting around
stopped their chatter and stared at the brothers. “Ian, my brother and I were looking forward to a cut and
shave. With the cattle drive leaving
tomorrow we could use your special attention.” Nick greeted as his expressive
hazel eyes issued a warning to all present daring them to say anything to the
contrary.
“That’s fine, Nick.
Come on over.” Ian nervously replied.
“Heath, why don’t you go first.” Nick nudged Heath towards the barber chair. Heath hesitantly headed for the chair and
Ian gave him a shave and a haircut. Ian
made sure not to look at the hazel eyed rancher, knowing those eyes would
intimidate him and the last thing he needed to do was accidentally cut this
bastard and cause the rancher to be irate.
Soon after Heath was finished Nick followed in the
barber’s chair. After his cut and shave
were finished he paid Ian noticeably omitting the hefty tip he usually
left. “See you in two months, Ian.”
As the brothers left the barbershop the talking between
the men inside started back up. Nick
sighed as he and Heath climbed into the wagon to ride home. Heath looked over
at Nick and saw that he was upset. He
had been putting off talking to Nick and he figured now was as good time as
any. Clearing his throat Heath began to
speak.
“Nick I think we need to talk,” Heath began as he looked
over at Nick who raised his eyebrow at him.
“Well the boy wants to talk,” Nick chuckled. Heath smiled
at the teasing.
“I remember from the time I was a little boy how the town
was cruel to me and Mama. I didn’t care
much when they hurt me but when they hurt Mama I wanted to punch ‘em. But no matter what they did Mama would just
stand there and smile. We’d be in the
general store and be forced to stand there while others who came in after us
were helped first and Mama would just smile at the clerk. We’d be forced to sit in the back row in
church as the Reverend preached of sin while lookin’ at us and Mama would just
smile. We’d be walkin’ down the street
in town and hear the loud whispers behind our backs and Mama would hold her
head up high and smile as we walked by.”
“How could she ignore what they did?”
“I wondered the same thing cause once we got home she’d
start to cry. Many nights she cried herself to sleep cause the way those people
treated her and me. I remember the day I asked her why she didn’t fight back.”
“What’d she say?”
“She pulled me up on her lap and put her arms ‘round me
and said she didn’t fight back cause she didn’t want ‘em to take away her
dignity.”
“Her dignity?” Nick quietly asked with sensitivity not
wanting to offend his brother, “but wasn’t that what she was doing by not
fighting back?”
“I had the same thought and when I told her that she
looked me in the eye and said I was wrong.
She said the people who were mean to us thrived on that cruelty because
it made ‘em feel important. It was
their only way to feel they were somebody by cuttin’ someone else down. Those people have no real honor if they can
only have satisfaction when they hurt another human bein’.”
“So not fighting back didn’t give them the pleasure…”
“…Of knowing they had succeeded in hurtin’ us.” Heath
finished Nick’s thought.
“See Nick, when others make us feel small and less
important cause we’re different they take away our right of freedom to live a
life like everyone else. They take away our sense of security knowin’ that
we’ll have to fight for our very existence. They take away our happiness and
our self-confidence by remindin’ us we’ll never measure up in their eyes. They take away our sense of worth by
remindin’ us we’re no more than the dirt on the bottom of their shoes. They even take away the joy of friendship
cause anyone who associates with us will be condemned to the life we live. But the one thing they’ll never take is
our…”
“Dignity!” Nick and Heath smiled as they spoke the word
together.
“So when somebody says something about you I’m just to
ignore it?”
“Yeah, Nick, that’s what I’m askin’ ya to do.”
“I understand what you’re saying but…how can I allow the
bigotry to continue?”
“The bigotry will continue Nick whether ya punch ‘em or
ignore ‘em. Bigotry can only be changed
in a person’s soul. They don’t care
they were wrong cause in their eyes they don’t think they are. Its not ‘til they take a long hard look in
the mirror will they finally realize the ugliness that lives inside of
‘em.” Heath paused as he watched his
brother struggle with the emotions inside of him. The brothers sat in the wagon for some time neither having
realized the wagon stopped during the conversation.
“Nick, until ya came into my life nobody ever defended me
before. I don’t want ya to think I’m
not grateful cause you’ll never know how much it means to me that ya defend me
the way ya do. But Nick, you’re lettin’
the hatred and the ugliness to continue when ya fight back. You’re lettin’ ‘em win Big Brother,” Heath
paused as he put his hand on the side of Nick’s face and made him look at him.
“Don’t let ‘em take your dignity Nick.”
After a moment of silence Nick smiled and shook his head.
Heath raised an eyebrow at his brother and Nick answered the unspoken question.
“Ever since you came to live with us I always wondered how you could be the
person you are despite the prejudices you’ve been forced to fight against. Now I know,” Nick paused and slapped Heath’s
knee as he turned away and prepared to drive the team. “Your mother must’ve
been one hell of a woman, Little Brother.
I wish I could’ve known her.”
“Thanks Nick,” Heath offered a lop-sided smile as he
struggled with the lump in his throat. “I wish ya could’ve known her too.”
Heath turned away; the brothers sat up straight in the wagon seat and cleared
their throats. Nick flicked the reins as the wagon began to move.
“I’ll do anything for you Heath,” Nick promised, “if you
want me to ignore the comments then that’s what I’ll do.”
* * * * * * * *
The next morning Nick and Heath were quickly running
through the house as they made their final preparations. They were heading out on the cattle drive
after breakfast and they wanted to make sure everything was perfect before they
left. At breakfast Victoria savored
having her entire family at the table, the last she would see for six weeks.
Nick and Heath were in front as the roaring of horses and
cattle rode through the Barkley Ranch.
Although Heath was aware most of the men didn’t care for him he was
going to enjoy every minute of this drive.
For this was the first cattle drive he would be spending with his
brother. Nick and Heath both worked on
drives in the past but this one would be very special for the brothers for they
were riding side by side. Nick only
hoped this would be the first drive of many he’d share with his little
brother…his partner and his best friend.
The family stood on the veranda as they waved goodbye to
the men. Not one man on the cattle drive or those that were left at home could
ever have imagined that the events, which would occur in the next month, would
change everything.
Jarrod was in the library late in the evening when
Victoria walked into the room and saw him sitting at the desk. She sighed at
the ritual she had watched her son perform for the last month. The realization
it would be another six months before he and Rosa were married was taking a
toll on the lawyer. He had buried
himself in his work in hopes of ignoring the pain in his heart that his
distance from Rosa had caused. The more
he worked the more tired he had become, allowing him the chance to not think
about the woman he loved and ached to spend his every moment with.
Victoria walked behind her firstborn son and put her hands
on his shoulders. As she massaged his shoulders she felt the tension beneath
her fingertips. “Up late aren’t you?”
“Trying to get some paperwork finished,” Jarrod replied
absentmindedly.
“Trying to not think is more like it.” Victoria’s reply caused Jarrod to look up at
her as she walked around the desk to sit in one of the chairs near the
fireplace.
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Jarrod asked getting up
from the leather chair and walking over to the chair that was opposite of his
mother.
“Postponing your wedding to Rosa has been far more
difficult then you have admitted.” Victoria watched her son as he turned away
from her and looked into the flames in the fireplace.
“It was the right thing to do,” Jarrod’s quiet reply was
barely heard.
“But it hasn’t been easy on you or Rosa.”
“No Mother it hasn’t been. But we’ll make it.”
“I know you will.”
“Do you think everything will be different in November?”
“I don’t know son,” Victoria sighed. “This has been harder
than any of us could’ve realized.”
Jarrod turned toward his mother and searched her gray eyes.
“Is the constant reminder too much for you Mother?”
“Oh no dear it’s nothing like that at all,” Victoria
replied waving her hand in the air dismissing his question. "At first all
I could see was a reminder of your father when he was younger and that this
young man reminding me of my husband was the result of his infidelity but
now…now he doesn’t bring me that pain anymore.”
“Then what is it Mother?” Jarrod leaned forward taking the
two small hands into his own. “You two don’t seem to be making any headway in
your relationship.”
“No, Jarrod, no we don’t seem to be do we?” Victoria
sighed. “My heart seems to break each time he calls me Mrs. Barkley or
Ma’am. It’s seems so formal. I don’t know why but I want nothing more
than to hear him call me…” Victoria bowed her head as her voice broke from
fighting the emotions inside of her heart.
“Mother.” Jarrod replied, “that’s what you want him to
call you isn’t it?”
Victoria nodded her head. “I don’t understand it. I’ve
tried to figure out what it is about him that makes me want to have him call me
mother.”
“He’s an orphan and someone who could use a mother’s
guidance and love, that makes your mother’s heart reach out to him.” Jarrod
replied trying to offer some guidance to a very difficult situation even he
didn’t fully understand. When Victoria
started to laugh he bowed his head and his face flushed believing he had failed
in his attempt to help her. Victoria
saw her son’s reaction and placed a hand under his chin to lift his face
towards hers.
“Oh honey I wasn’t laughing at you, I was laughing because
the Reverend and I had a similar discussion.” Victoria stopped speaking but continued
when Jarrod showed he was interested to hear more. “The Reverend believes my
feelings for Heath are like the way an adoptive parent feels for a child they
wish to adopt. I won’t take the place of that child’s parent but will only fill
a void in their life that is no longer being cared for. In return a new place
will be created special in the child’s heart.”
“The Reverend is a wise man,” Jarrod smiled. “I admire you
for the way you feel for Heath, Mother.
Not many women in your place would ever have accepted him into their
home let alone have the desire to become his mother.”
“Oh Jarrod, Heath has endured so much suffering in his
life for something that wasn’t his fault. I could never blame him and it breaks
my heart to think someone who’s in my place is blaming others that are just
like him. He’s such a kind and gentle man that it’s hard not to love him for
the man he is inside.” Victoria paused
as she stood up to stand in front of the fireplace wrapping her arms across her
chest. “I just wish Heath would let me into his heart.”
“Have you two talked about it? I know you talked about
what he could call you but I mean about how you feel about him.”
“No I haven’t. I don’t want to add more pressures onto his
life right now and…I don’t know how he feels about me. I don’t want to take Leah’s place and she
hasn’t been gone very long. I still don’t think he’s fully come to terms with
her death. I just don’t want to tell him how I feel and make him shy away. Whatever
he thinks of me he’s grown to have a relationship with all of you and I don’t
want to jeopardize that.”
Jarrod walked up behind his mother and wrapped his arms
around her and kissed the top of her silver head. “You’re an amazing woman,
Mother. There’s no way Heath can’t see that about you. He’ll come around he’s just a little
overwhelmed right now with everything that’s been going on. After the drive is
over I bet he’ll be settled in enough and then he’ll see how much you love
him.”
“Thank you dear,” Victoria turned around and hugged Jarrod.
“Now I think we both should get some sleep.” Victoria hooked her arm with
Jarrod’s as they turned out the lamps in the room before walking out of the
library and up the grand staircase. “And don’t worry about this extra time away
from Rosa, son. As they say distance
makes the heart grow fonder.”
* * * * * * * *
It had been three weeks since the cattle drive began. Another week and they’d be at their
destination to drop off the cattle and receive payment for delivery, then
another two weeks to return home.
Surprisingly everything had gone according to plan for the Barkley
brothers. Their previous research on
the trail they would be taking paid off as they made contacts with friends and
business partners along the route to ensure they would receive minimal
disruptions. Despite the unusually hot
weather the waterholes were filled to satisfaction and the lack of heavy
rainfall prevented mud holes for the cattle to cross. Not one stampede had occurred on the drive, for which they all
had been thankful. Yes everything was
going pleasingly well and the brothers couldn’t have been happier.
Nick and Heath weren’t your typical trail bosses. They both demanded hard work and work that
would be done accurately. Laziness
wasn’t tolerated amongst the Barkley brothers and neither were jobs performed
half way. They also never shied away
from a task to be done. If they
expected the men to complete a job then they too would also be able to do the
same. There wasn’t anything on the
cattle drive that neither brother had performed and performed amazingly
well.
Nick shook his head at the men’s refusal to still accept
Heath as a Barkley. He wondered why
they couldn’t see what he had seen.
Nick knew Heath would be a fine asset on this cattle drive and he wasn’t
disappointed in the least. Nick spent
three and a half years as the sole boss for a thirty men crew and all the
responsibilities it took to keep the ranch running smoothly fell on his
shoulders. With having Heath by his side he now wondered how he did it
alone. One thing was certain he didn’t
have much of a life.
This was the first time since his father died that he had
a partner to run the drive with him. Jarrod had accompanied Nick on the first
drive after Tom’s death and while he did an exceptional job, to Nick it wasn’t
the same. Something was different. Jarrod is and always would be a lawyer,
ranching simply isn’t and never would be in his blood. He accompanied Nick on the drive out of
obligation, Nick realized. Neither
truly enjoyed themselves for they both felt they were out of their elements for
very different reasons. The two previous years Nick assured Jarrod that he
could remain home with his law practice, that he would do all right by
himself. Nick did do all right but
having to shoulder the responsibility alone caused the rancher to carry a large
burden on his shoulders.
The last three weeks on the drive couldn’t have been
happier for Nick. His step was lighter
and his mood was happier. He no longer
had to carry the burden alone because he had someone to share it with him. Preparing for the drive and then making it a
reality had the brothers constantly sharing their ideas and working together to
make sure everything went well. If
there was a potential problem that was witnessed by either brother they would
quickly inform the other and the issue would be resolved together before it was
too late.
Nick couldn’t believe how much happier he had become
overall in his own life. The last three
and a half years since his father died he performed his duties with an
automatic routine that had become a monotonous daily grind. Getting up in the morning to start the day
and working from sunrise to sunset, and many times way past dinner, he carried
the responsibilities in making sure his men completed the many contracts on
time…only to find himself repeating the same routine the following day. Any friendships he shared with his men had
been lost for he had become their boss.
He was Nick Barkley King of the Barkley Empire and with that title came
a price. A price Nick never realized he
had paid heavily until Heath entered his life.
But most of all, not since he rode beside his father did
Nick’s love for ranching return to his heart. This job was no longer an
obligation of his own that he felt he had to carry out. He now enjoyed getting up in the mornings
for he was yet again enjoying what he loved and he was doing what he loved
beside his brother. He just hoped it
would continue for he wondered if he had it in himself to ever do this alone
again!
* * * * * * * *
It was Thursday night and Jarrod was in his office working
late and knew he wouldn’t be home for dinner that evening. He was yet again
going to be burning the midnight oil.
His desk was piled with a stack of papers and he was determined to get
through them tonight. Jarrod’s
concentration in his work was interrupted when a knock came at the door. His secretary Leslie had left thirty minutes
prior so he was alone at the office. He
walked to the door to open it. Jarrod
smiled as he looked down into the freckled face of Timmy, the young boy who
helped Mr. Jeffries at the telegraph office.
“Good evening Timmy what can I do for you?”
“Hello Mr. Barkley this telegram arrived for you and Mr.
Jeffries said to bring it right over.”
“Well thank you Timmy,” Jarrod replied as he paid the boy
a tip, “this is for you.”
“Thanks Mr. Barkley,” Timmy smiled as he turned and ran
down the boardwalk.
Jarrod smiled as he watched the young boy leave his
office. Jarrod walked back to his desk
and sat down in his leather chair and opened the telegram. As he read the words his hands began to
shake and he couldn’t help but feel pain from the constriction on his heart. His instincts told him something was wrong.
Jarrod,
Please
meet me at the Clinic as soon as you can.
It’s
very important we speak immediately.
Jarrod took the early train Friday morning to San
Francisco. He told very little to
Victoria who luckily didn’t ask questions.
Victoria herself believed the couple needed to see each so she didn’t
press the issue with her son. As Jarrod
sat on the train he stared out the window but he wasn’t looking at the scenery
that had passed him by, instead he was thinking of Rosa and the telegram. The telegram was very distant and
impersonal. He tried to think of a
reason as to why she would be sending a telegram with such urgency but the
ideas that came to him only seemed to unsettle him even more than he already had
been.
As the train stopped Jarrod got off and immediately
flagged down a taxi. He instructed the driver to take him to the “Angels of Mercy Clinic.” As the taxi stopped in front of the clinic
Jarrod briskly walked up the steps through the front door and walked toward the
receptionist desk. A nurse was sitting
behind the desk and she smiled as he entered the small reception area.
“Hello, I’m Jarrod Barkley…and I’m here to see Rosa
Simon.” Jarrod smiled as he spoke but
his voice faltered from the nurse’s reaction to his name.
“One moment Mr. Barkley,” the nurse stood from her chair
walking to the back room. A Priest in
his black attire came through the door and toward his direction.
“Mr. Barkley?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Father Michaels, please follow me.”
“Where’s Rosa?” Jarrod asked with urgency refusing to
follow the Priest.
“In due time Mr. Barkley,” the Priest replied as he
motioned for Jarrod to follow him.
Jarrod reluctantly followed the Priest as they walked down the hallway.
“Mr. Barkley I am the one who sent you the telegram you received. I apologize if the message upset you but
under the circumstances I don’t believe there was a good way to request your
presence.”
“You sent the wire?” Jarrod looked at the Priest
dumbfounded. “Where’s Rosa, Father?”
“Rosa was admitted as a patient two days ago. She collapsed late one night while she was
visiting with patients.”
“Collapsed?” Jarrod could barely hear the Priest for his
heart’s loud thumping was all he heard in his ears. “Father is she all
right? What happened?”
“Rosa would like to be the one to tell you Mr. Barkley she
merely asked that I be the one to contact you.” Father Michaels replied as they
stopped in front of a door. “Rosa is staying in this room you may go in and see
her. I believe she’s resting now but
she should be awake shortly.”
“Thank you,” Jarrod replied as he shook the Priest’s hand.
“If you need to speak to me later just ask one of the
nurses and they will tell you where my office is. Just so you’re aware only Rosa, her Physician and myself are
aware of the true reason she is a patient in our clinic. I’ll try and stop by later this evening
before visiting hours are over.”
Jarrod’s only reply was a nod of his head and the Priest gave a small
smile as he walked away.
Standing in front of the door Jarrod brought up his hand
to open the door when he realized it was shaking. The smell of disinfectant assaulted his senses while he walked
into the lightly dimmed room. Rosa was
lying in bed under the white sheets that caused her fair skin to look very
pale. Jarrod thought she looked like an
angel sleeping. Walking closer to the
bed Jarrod brought a chair closer and sat down. Jarrod brushed away the long
rusty hair that was past her shoulders.
He took her right hand into his and brushed a gentle kiss on her
forehead and waited for her to wake up.
Rosa stirred and stretched. She rubbed her hands across
her eyes as she tried to waken from her sleep.
When she opened her eyes she saw that the sun was going down in the red
sky that was visible from the window. She was shocked to see a shadow of a man
watching the busy street below, but quickly recognized the form of the man
standing only a few feet away from her.
Her heart skipped a beat, she had desperately needed him in the last
forty-eight hours and here he was.
“Jarrod?” Rosa’s voice was trembling with emotion as she
spoke the name of the man she loved with all her heart. Jarrod turned around and he smiled as their
eyes met.
“Hello my love,” Jarrod spoke as he sat down on the bed
beside her. Noticing that she was close
to tears he took his hand and brushed it across her face. “Shush, it’s all
right.”
“Oh Jarrod, how I’ve needed you so.” Rosa cried as she
reached up to him. He took her into his arms and held her in an embrace.
“I’m here now, my love, I’m here.” Jarrod’s voice soothed
her. “What’s wrong, Rosalie. Why are
you here?”
“Jarrod…” She rehearsed how she would say the words but no
matter how she had practiced them now that the time had come she felt so
unprepared. “I feel so ashamed.”
“Ashamed of what, honey?”
Jarrod brushed her long hair with his right hand as his left remained
firmly around her back. “Rosa please
tell me.”
“Oh Jarrod,” Rosa sobbed as she buried her face in
Jarrod’s neck, his shirt becoming soaked with her tears. “I lost our baby Jarrod. Please forgive me.”
“Baby?” Jarrod mouthed the word as realization sank in.
* * * * * * * *
The men were sitting around the campfire, some telling
stories, others sharing their musical talent and all enjoying the night under
the stars. The days were hot but as the
sun came down the nights became cool.
Heath grabbed two plates of food from the trail cook,
Tully, before walking to the creek bed where he’d find his brother leaning
against a tree log. Sitting beside Nick
he handed his brother a plate of food.
“Thanks Little Brother,” Nick replied as he took the plate. “Beans!
Will we ever have anything but beans?” Nick grumbled causing Heath to
chuckle.
“The men were just complainin’ ‘bout the same thing and
Tully told ‘em if they didn’t like it to cook dinner the next time.”
“Well I might take him up on that offer and get me a
rabbit. Anything would be better than
beans.”
“Maybe ya just miss my beans,” Heath teased.
“Ha! Your beans are worse than Tully’s if that’s even
possible.” The boys shared a laugh as
they finished their dinner. After dinner was eaten Nick stood up. “Well I
better get going got guard duty tonight.”
“Have fun.” Heath grinned.
“Oh yeah lotsa fun.” Nick chuckled. “If you get bored you
know where to find me.”
“I won’t be that bored,” Heath replied taking their plates
and cleaning them in the river before returning them to Tully. Heath walked up
to the cook and handed him the plates. “Howdy Tully, here ya go.”
“Thanks boss ‘preciate it.” Tully replied with a smile.
“Boss?” Matt Barrett snorted as some of the men at the campfire laughed. “Tully
ya know there’s only one boss here and that’s Nick Barkley.”
“Now you best not start any trouble Matt.” Tully pointed
his finger at the troublemaker. “I known the Barkleys for many years and I
‘member a young Tom Barkley. This boy
is the spittin’ image of Tom Barkley.”
“I may not’ve known Tom Barkley but I know the rest of
‘em. This whelp is nothing like the
rest of ‘em. It’s plain to see he’s too
stupid and ain’t got what it takes to be a Barkley. Just cause he lives in that fancy house don’t make him one of
‘em.” Barrett walked around and stood
in front of Heath. Heath’s eyes turned to stone as he stared at the ranch hand.
“In fact boy the
Barkley’s are too good that I doubt the big man woulda slept with a whore like
yer Mama.” Barrett laughed as he poked Heath in the chest. Heath grabbed Barrett’s fingers and stared
him down.
“Ya better watch it Barrett. Ya can say whatever ya like
‘bout me but leave my mother outta this.” Heath paused before he pronounced
each of his words very carefully. “And. Don’t. Call. Me. Boy.”
“And whatcha gonna do about it boy?” Barrett didn’t get any further with his insults as Heath’s
right hook took the man by surprise and he landed on the ground. Barrett bounced up on his feet and he lunged
at Heath as both men fell to the ground.
Duke had one of the men relieve Nick from guard duty when
Barrett started the first assault with his words. Nick walked into the camp in time to witness most of the verbal
exchange between his brother and Barrett.
Nick sighed as he looked at Duke, who knew what he was thinking as he
was having the same thoughts. Barrett was
the biggest instigator between the men and Heath. If only Barrett would back off the other men just might give
Heath a chance. Nick knew this was a
fight between his brother and Barrett but he also knew Barrett was twice
Heath’s size and never played fair in a fight in his life. If he broke up the fight it would be worse
for Heath against the other men so he reluctantly decided to watch and make
sure Barrett didn’t play dirty against his brother.
The men rolled on the ground giving punch after punch. Heath was giving as good as he got and
surprisingly, to those watching, Barrett was looking just as ragged as
Heath. But the difference in size was
still in Barrett’s favor. As Barrett
threw a punch at Heath and as he doubled over the man kicked him in the
chest. Heath rolled over on his back
and as Barrett tried to make another attack Heath kicked his boot into
Barrett’s chest knocking the wind out of him as he fell to the ground. The men
momentarily stopped the fight as they both tried to gather their senses.
Barrett had his back to the men so no one saw him draw his gun. By the time
they did it was too late. Before anyone
could react the ranch hand aimed at his target and pulled the trigger.