A Reason to Stay

Chapters 1 - 12

by BonnieBee

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 1

Darkness had fallen. She knew that this was the time. If she did not leave now, she might not get another chance. She lay still for a few more minutes, just to make sure all of the house was quiet. If she were to be caught, she would not have to worry about living here anymore, for she would no longer be living at all.

"If I ever catch you trying to leave, I’ll kill you."

On her first day here, those words were forever burned into her mind. And the physical reminder was the broken arm she’d had to endure. It had healed, though it never really regained its full strength. She rose from her bed and walked to her door. She began removing her night clothing, revealing her work clothes on underneath. Thankfully, he had not come for her before bed, or she never would have been able to explain their presence.

She looked around her room one last time. She didn’t know why, for she could carry nothing with her but the clothes on her back and the money she had been saving for the past three years.

Three years. Had it only been that long? It seemed much longer. The abuse she had endured made it seem as though she had been in there for an eternity. She refused to let her mind bring up the memories of her first days at this horrible place. If she did, she would be only be able to sit in a corner and cry. Much as she had done the first year there.

She quietly opened her door. As she looked around, she saw that the moon was high in the sky. The light shone through the window, lighting her way. She padded her way to the side entrance that was used by the servants. It was always unlocked, allowing them to come early in the morning without disturbing anyone else. Besides, he never would have thought that she would leave him. She knew he thought she was too scared. And in the beginning she was. But alongside the fear came resolve and determination.. She would not allow him the privilege of seeing it though. She kept it carefully hidden. And why ask for a beating?

Quietly, the door was opened and she slipped outside. The air was hot and stuffy, and somewhere in the distance an animal howled. She stood still and listened. She moved only her eyes to scan the courtyard. The first hurdle was passed. She’d made it out of the house. Now if she could just make it through the gate, she would be home free.

Home. She only hoped that she could one day have a home. This place had truly not been her home. The past three years had been a nightmare from which she was only too glad to wake up.

The gate was fifty feet away. Fifty feet to freedom. One step at a time. Eyes always alert, ears listening for the slightest noise. If she were caught now, she would only have death to look forward to. There was the gate. Her hand touched the latch. It moved somewhat hesitantly, as though it were trying to give her one last chance to change her mind. She did not even have to think twice about it. Once she left this place, she hoped she would never return.

Her lungs were hurting and she realized that she had been holding her breath. Her heart pounded in her chest, belying the calm demeanor she possessed. Each step that took her away from the house, increased her confidence. She only hoped she was not too late. The freighter captain said he would wait for only an extra hour. If she were not at the ship when he decided to leave, she would have to wait for another ship and by then it would be too late. She would be caught for sure if she tried to get back into the house. There was no way she could hide out at the docks. He was too well known and someone would tell him that they had seen her.

As she neared the port, she found that she was almost feeling giddy. That was an emotion that she had not felt since childhood. It felt good, but she also knew she would need to control herself or she would make a mistake. She was rarely ever allowed to go out alone, but he had been out of town and she had managed to sneak out. Either the servants didn’t notice she had gone, or they pitied her enough to not tell him, knowing he would punish her. She looked about for the ship she had seen the captain of earlier. She still was amazed that she had even spoken with him at all. It was very bold of her to do so. But that showed her desperation. The captain had been kind enough, and answered her questions. When she asked about passage, he seemed to balk at the idea, but must have seen the yearning in her eyes. After a moment’s hesitation, she was permitted passage. The price was steep, but she knew it was worth it. Once she was far enough away down the river, she would catch a train West.

There. The ship was still docked. A sigh of relief broke from her. She thought she might make it. The captain was waiting for her. He nodded to her and preceded her inside. The interior of the ship was much as she expected it to be. It was an older ship, but had been taken care of so the wear and tear was minimal. The captain, without a word, showed her to what would be her quarters. The small room smelled musty and was hardly big enough to turn around in, what with the bed and small chair and table inside. But it was freedom, and for that she thought it was a mansion.

"Sorry it isn’t much. I did manage to at least find a quilt for the bed. ‘Fraid you’ll have to do without a pillow. Not used to guests."

"That’s alright. I’m just thankful for your willingness to transport me."

"It will be a long journey. One not made in comfort."

She nodded her head. How could she explain that anyplace at all was better than where she had come from?

The Captain turned to leave. He didn’t normally take passengers, but something about this girl made him want to help her. If she wanted to leave and had the money with which to pay him, who was he to question her?

The old man closed the door on his way out, leaving the young woman on her own. She walked over to the bed and sat down. It was not very comfortable, but she would not complain. She was free and that was all that mattered. She was free.

The hot summer sun beat down unmercifully on the cowboys as they rode into town. The rain from the night before had made things around the Valley green again, but the day was going to be another scorcher. As Nick and Heath Barkley rode into town, they decided that a nice cold beer would be in order. They stepped into the saloon, and washed the dust down with a couple of beers. They were in conversation with Harry, the bartender when someone rushed into the saloon.

"The train from San Francisco derailed about five miles away! We need help! Lotsa people are hurt. Anybody seen Dr. Merar?"

Everyone rushed out, going to see what they could do to help. Nick and Heath looked at each other. Both having the same thoughts.

"Wasn’t Jarrod supposed to be coming back today?" Nick asked, a worried frown on his face.

"Yes, but Mother didn’t say if he told her it would be the early or late train."

"We should go check it out. They’ll need all the help they can get anyway."

They arrived at the sight of the derailment and looked at one another with a sense of dread. Thankfully, the train wasn’t a long one. Two of the cars were upright, but the four remaining were on their sides. A fire had broken out in one and was quickly spreading.

Heath and Nick began helping people as they crawled from the wreckage. They had seen no sign of Jarrod and were beginning to think that perhaps he had not been on this train. Things were very chaotic, people running all around, trying to find loved ones. Dr. Merar had set up a tent for the injured. There had only been one fatality so far. Most of the injuries weren’t too serious, a fact for which the elderly doctor was very thankful.

Heath had just taken a young woman to the medical tent when he saw him. Jarrod was carrying a small child. His shirt was torn and he had cuts and bruises, but didn’t look the worse for wear.

"Jarrod!"

Nick looked up from where he was. He ran to Jarrod, relieved that his older brother was okay.

"Jarrod, are you okay?"

"I’m fine, Nick I was in the first car, one of the ones that didn’t overturn."

"We should have the doc check you out," Heath said.

"No, I’m fine. There’s still more people in the last car. That fire is spreading quickly."

Jarrod passed the child he had been carrying to a passerby and the three brothers went to the last rail car. The fire had completely engulfed the car before it, but thankfully everyone had gotten out. It was tricky getting into the railcar. It was over on its side and the smoke was getting thick, making their eyes water. There were five people, three of which had broken bones, the other two were in shock. Heath lifted one woman out and Jarrod took her, passing her to some waiting men below. They worked like this until all five were out of the car. Nick was taking a last look around when he spotted her. A young woman was under one of the seats. The seat had fallen onto her and some debris was covering most of her body. Nick began shifting the debris, getting it away from her. Heath and Jarrod had both climbed out, the fire already having started on the rail car.

"Nick! Nick! You need to get out of there!" Jarrod called to him.

"There’s still someone in here!" Nick called back.

Heath and Jarrod jumped back into the car. The seat that had fallen on the young woman was wedged tightly against the floor and wall.

"We’ve got to get her out of here," Nick said, starting to feel the heat from the fire. They worked for several minutes, the fire growing more and more intense. They knew it would only be a matter of time before they became trapped too, but they refused to leave this young woman to die. Just when it looked like all would be lost, the seat moved and Heath was able to pull the woman free. Jarrod climbed up and out of the car along with Heath, both waiting for Nick to hand her to them. The young woman opened her eyes and Nick tried to give her a reassuring smile. Her deep blue eyes widened and she began to claw and scratch at him, begging him to let her go. It was difficult for Nick to hold on to her.

"Stop it!" Nick yelled, trying to get her to stop her attack on him. They were running out of time. The flames were getting closer and closer.

"I’m trying to help you!"

"No! No!" she screamed. Nick was just about at his end when she fell unconscious. He sighed with relief and pushed her up the opening to a waiting Heath. The three brothers made it out just as the flames fully engulfed the overturned railcar.

They got the woman to the medical tent and waited as Dr. Merar checked her over. The cut on her forehead was bandaged but she remained unconscious. Dr. Merar insisted each of the boys be checked over as well, but all insisted they were fine. Jarrod’s cuts and bruises were small and nothing that a good bath and rest wouldn’t cure.

Amazingly, other than some broken bones, none were too seriously injured. Most were able to walk away on their own, the others in the last car who were unconscious were now awake and talking. The hotel in Stockton agreed to take in the passengers who had just been passing through and allowed them a free stay overnight until they could make arrangements to find another way out of town. The rail way to Stockton would be shut down until the wreckage could be cleared off of the tracks.

Dr. Merar took the young woman and a few of the others with broken bones back to his office and the Barkley men headed for home. Assuring his mother he was fine and just in need of a bath, food and some rest, in that order, Jarrod went to clean up. Nick and Heath filled their mother and sister in on the details of the day. Nick’s mind went back to the young woman they had pulled from the train. He hoped she was okay. He decided he would go into town sometime and ask the doc how she was.

Chapter 2

Nick rode into town the next day needing to take care of a few things. The train derailment was the hot topic in town and everyone wanted to talk about it. A bridge had been burned out as a result of the fire on the train, so the railway would be closed down until the bridge could be fixed. It looked as though it might take a couple of months rather than just a few weeks to get the San Francisco train moving through Stockton again.

Nick was glad to finally be finished with his errands, and he went over to the doctor’s to inquire about the young woman. Dr. Merar met him at the door and told him she had finally regained consciousness a few hours before. He didn’t want her having any visitors right now, and Nick said he’d stop by again to see how she was doing. He mounted Coco and turned his old friend toward the Ranch. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t get the young woman from his mind. He spent most of the day, trying to figure it out. Maybe it was the way she had panicked when he was trying to help her from the train? He had never seen a woman look so frightened. She was desperate for him to let her go, refusing to see that he was just trying to help her. Nick shook his head. Whatever the reason, he knew he wanted to help her if he could and he was determined to at least speak with her once.

The next day found Nick going back into town. He just had to see the young woman, make sure she was alright.

"Nick," Dr. Merar said by way of greeting. "What brings you here? Are you hurt?"

"What would make you think I’m hurt, Doc?" Nick asked, his hands on his hips.

Dr. Merar smiled. It was a running joke between he and his wife that it was the Barkley’s, mostly Heath and Nick, that kept the Doc’s practice going.

"It’s just rare for you to visit unless something is wrong is all," The doctor said in good humor.

Nick smiled and said, "I’m here to see your patient from the train."

Dr. Merar hesitated. He couldn’t say too much because that wouldn’t be fair to his patient. But he saw the interest Nick had in her and he wanted to protect them both.

"That should be fine but let’s talk for a few minutes before you go in and see her."

Nick nodded, concerned that perhaps the young woman had been injured more severely than they had first thought. They went into the kitchen and Dr. Merar poured Nick a cup of coffee. They sat together in silence and finally Nick said,

"You know Doc, I’ve gotta get back to the ranch and was hoping to see your patient before then."

The doctor sighed. He looked at Nick, hoping he wouldn’t say too much, and yet hoped he’d say enough. "She doesn’t remember who she is, Nick. She can’t remember her name, where she’s from, if she has any family. And....from my examination of her, she’s had a rough life. I can’t say any more than that. I’ve said too much already. Just....be careful."

Nick felt the doctor’s comments were rather cryptic, but nodded his head in agreement. He had no intentions of doing anything to hurt her, but he admitted he was curious about her and he wanted to help her if he could. He excused himself from the table, thanking the doctor.

Nick knocked on the door and when he entered, he saw her sitting in a chair near the window, watching the happenings of the town.

"Good afternoon. My name is Nick Barkley." He removed his hat and walked into the room tentatively, careful to leave the door open so that he wouldn’t spook her. She seemed as jittery as a new foal. She just stared at him, suspicion clearly showing in her deep blue eyes. The nightgown she wore was too big, the sleeves needing to be rolled up several times. It was the same for the robe she wore. Her freshly washed, strawberry blonde hair fell in a riot of curls down past her shoulders. It had been dark in the train, but he noticed now that she was rather pretty.

"I came to see how you’re doing."

Again, she just stared.

"The Doc says you’re having trouble remembering who you are. I’m sorry about that. Must have been the bump you got on your head."

She sighed and nodded. "He says I should be able to leave by the end of the week. I just wish I knew where to go? Or even what my name is," she added softly.

Her voice sounded wistful and Nick wished he could think of something to do for her.

"Why don’t you stay around here?" Nick asked.

"Why would I? What would I do?" she asked, but Nick could see hope in her eyes.

That stumped Nick. What could she do? He mulled things over in his mind for a few minutes, then decided he would talk to his mother. Surely she could come up with something. Maybe some work to do around the house or maybe she would know of someone who needed help.

"I’ll tell you what. Let me ask around and see if someone knows of a job you could do. I’ll get back with you."

Again she looked at him suspiciously. Why was he so willing to help her? She didn’t know why, but he made her nervous. The doctor had also at first, but she had soon realized he wasn’t going to hurt her. She noticed that Nick had left the door open and that he kept his distance. The doctor had been careful to do the same thing. If for any reason he needed to close the door, he had made sure his wife was with him at all times. Maybe she could trust could trust Nick as well?

"Alright. I’d appreciate it," she said after a few minutes. Nick had begun to wonder if she would even answer him. He smiled at her, noticing she was very tense. He needed to leave soon but needed to take care of one more thing.

"One thing though. I’d like to call you something other than....well...nothing. I haven’t been calling you anything....What I mean to say is...."

She smiled slightly at his stumbling. He saw the smile and couldn’t help but return it.

"Let’s make up name for you."

"Make up a name?" she asked, her face showing confusion.

"Sure! Why not. Can’t go for the rest of your life as the pretty woman with no name," he said, noticing how she tensed when he called her pretty. He regretted saying it as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

"Let’s see here....I look at you and I think your name should be...."Nick paced back and forth for a few moments. She watched him, his hazel eyes narrowed as he concentrated, some of his dark hair falling forward on his forehead.

She jumped when he snapped his fingers and turned toward her.

"Julia. We’ll call you Julia."

She raised an eyebrow at him and then a slow smile spread across her face. She liked that name.

"Julia. Sounds nice," she said softly.

"Alright then, Julia. I’ll check into some things and let you know what I find out. I’ll be by to visit later this week."

Julia smiled and watched him leave. She sighed, thankful to at least have a name now. Hopefully the rest would fall into place soon.

Nick paced back and forth in front of his mother, explaining the situation to her. Julia needed a job, a place to live. A reason to stay, he thought, but didn’t add. He shook himself and waited for her to reply to his request.

"Nick, I’m all for helping her, but I’m at a loss as to how," Victoria said sadly.

"Don’t you need some help around here?"

"Silas and I have things well under control, dear. Sure, I could find something for her to do, but after a few days, she would realize she isn’t really needed here."

Nick’s shoulders slumped. He so wanted to help Julia. He was certain if she couldn’t get a job here, she would leave. That bothered him, more than he cared to admit.

"Why don’t we talk to the rest of the family at dinner tonight. Maybe one of them would have an idea, or will have heard of someone who’s hiring?" Victoria suggested.

"Alright. That sounds good," Nick agreed.

Later that evening as they all sat around the table, Nick asked for his family’s help. Each one thought about his request, but came up empty.

"Jarrod, don’t you need help at the office?" Nick asked.

"I’m sorry, Nick, but I don’t. Mrs. Alverson and I have things well under control."

Nick sighed. He didn’t know what to do.

"What about the rental property?" Audra suggested.

"What about it?" Nick asked, feeling irritable.

"I rode by there the other day. Its looking rather run down since we haven’t been able to rent it out to anyone. She could live there."

Nick nodded. That could work.

"Okay, so that’s a place for her to live, but what about a job. I’m sure she wouldn’t just accept living there rent free."

Audra slumped. She had hoped it would be a good idea.

"Wait a minute, Nick. Audra might be on to something," Victoria said. "We need someone to live at the rental house and she needs a place to live. Her job could be to clean it from top to bottom. That place is in such a shambles right now it will take her a while. Maybe by then she’ll have regained her memory."

"But we wouldn’t want her doing any major repairs," Nick said, although he was really warming to the idea.

"No, but you or I could take care of that," Heath said, knowing it would be Nick who would most likely be taking care of it. He ducked his head to hide his smile.

"I’m wondering if we shouldn’t talk with her more, maybe see if she can remember who she is. For all we know, she could be on the run from the law," Jarrod said, ever the lawyer.

Nick snorted in disgust. "She’s not an outlaw."

"How do you know, Nick?"

"I can tell!" Nick said hotly.

"You can’t tell just by looking, Nick. What if she’s a murderer, a thief? She could have robbed a bank for all we know."

"I refuse to believe she could do something like that! You’ve not even talked with her. She’s a very nice young woman who’s been through a bad experience! She can’t remember who she is and the last thing she needs is for you or anyone else to accuse her of being a bank robber!"

"Nick, I’m not accusing her-"

"Alright," Victoria said, wanting to diffuse the situation. "True we don’t know anything about this young woman. I’ll go into town with you tomorrow, Nick and speak with her. Jarrod, why don’t you ask Fred to look through some wanted posters. Surely if she’s a criminal, he’d have heard something about her. A female bank robber is unusual even if it isn’t impossible. But unless you have any other objections to her to living out at the rental house, I think we should give her a chance. Innocent until proven guilty, right?" Victoria asked, her eyes twinkling.

Jarrod smiled and winked at his mother. "Right you are, Lovely Lady."

Jarrod thought his mother’s suggestion about talking to Fred was a good idea. He’d also check if there were any missing person reports. She might have a family who’s worried about her. Jarrod looked to his younger brother. He didn’t want him to be hurt, but they had to keep in mind the possibility that "Julia" could be married. Jarrod smiled slightly. Or a bank robber.

Nick broke into Jarrod’s thoughts with: "I’ll go over to the rental house in the morning and make sure its livable enough for her to move in by the end of the week. I should also make sure there’s enough supplies for her as well."

The rest of the family finished their meal with quiet conversation, but Nick couldn’t remember anything else that he ate or what was said. His mind was busy planning what he would say to Julia when he saw her next.

Chapter 3

Victoria rode into town with Nick the next day. They explained to the Doctor their plans and he thought it was a good idea. Nick could still read concern in his eyes, but the doctor didn’t say anything. Nick told his mother he was going to the livery to check on something and then would return later. They had agreed that it might be best if Victoria spoke to Julia alone first. She knocked on the door, then entered. She saw a young woman sitting in the chair beside the window, just as Nick had seen her before. She was dressed in a nightgown and robe, both obviously too big for her. Victoria realized Julia probably had no clothing of her own since it was more than likely burned in the train accident. She began thinking of a plan to help her with that as well. Victoria smiled as she thought, Well, she doesn’t look like a bank robber. Her hair was braided and lay on one shoulder. Victoria could see why Nick seemed interested. She was a beauty. But it wasn’t just her physical appearance that caught Victoria’s attention. It was a look of vulnerability that briefly crossed her face.

"Hello, Julia. I’m Nick’s mother. My name is Victoria Barkley."

Julia started to stand, but Victoria waved her back down and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I have a job to offer you," Victoria said, being business like, yet friendly. "We have some rental property that hasn’t been lived in for quite a while. It’s a bit run down and needs a thorough cleaning. You wouldn’t have to do any major repair work, that would be handled by one of my sons or one of the hands that works on our ranch. We would allow you to live there and would pay you a small amount to help you with your needs. Would this be acceptable to you?"

Julia thought for a moment, knowing it would have to be. She was grateful for having a place to go, and even a way of making some money, but she did wonder how long she could make a living cleaning one house. But she wouldn’t think about that now.

"Thank you, Mrs. Barkley. I appreciate the offer. Dr. Merar said I should be able to leave in a few days."

"Yes, I know. We’ll check with him to make sure you don’t do anything that will aggravate any injuries you have. Someone will be by to pick you up in a few days. We’ll discuss all of the details then."

"Thank you, Mrs. Barkley," Julia repeated.

"Its my pleasure."

The women continued to talk for a while. Victoria seemed to be a woman who had no problem taking charge. Julia found herself thankful for the other woman’s strong personality because she felt safe. And for some reason, feeling safe was something Julia knew she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Nick returned to the doctor’s an hour later and was pleased that Julia had taken the job offered by his mother. Victoria noticed that Julia tensed a bit when Nick had walked into the room. She decided she’d not stay much longer, hoping to alleviate whatever fears this young woman had. Nick seemed disappointed that his mother wanted to leave so soon after he arrived, but he didn’t question her.

Jarrod had checked with Fred about Dr. Merar’s patient, but he had no information on her. He only had one wanted poster for a woman and she in no way fit the description of Julia. Jarrod sent a few telegrams to neighboring towns asking if there were any women reported missing. So far, he hadn’t heard back from any of them.

Victoria rode into town again three days later. The house had been inspected and although it was in need of many repairs, it was more than livable. Victoria had the house stocked with the basic things she thought Julia would need. She would then go out to the house in a few days after the other woman had a chance to settle in and take her into town to get whatever else she would like.

Victoria brought with her some dresses that she was sure would fit Julia. She had spoken with Dr. Merar and he confirmed that Julia had lost everything in the train accident. The clothes she had been wearing at the time of the accident had been ruined. Audra was happy to go through her wardrobe and give some of her things. Julia was a bit taller than Audra so the dresses might need to be altered a bit. Victoria also thought she might be slightly fuller in some areas, but the clothes she brought should give Julia a good start.

She knocked on the doctor’s door and was ushered in by Mrs. Merar. Victoria was informed by her good friend that Julia was in her room and to go on in. After tapping lightly on the door, Victoria walked in and found Julia straightening the bed.

"Julia, I brought you some clothes I thought might fit you."

"Oh thank you, Mrs. Barkley," Julia said, taking the dresses from her. She couldn’t believe how beautiful the clothes were.

"If you’ll give me a minute, I’ll change."

"Of course. I’ll wait for you out here," Victoria said, and closed the door behind her. She and Iva passed the time talking about generalities for the next fifteen minutes. Julia came from the room and smiled. Victoria thought Julia’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue she had ever seen.

"Shall we get going?" Victoria asked.

Julia thanked Mrs. Merar for her care and asked her to pass along her thanks to her husband as well. The doctor had been called away on an emergency earlier and hadn’t as yet returned. The two woman climbed into the buggy and Victoria turned the horses toward the ranch

"I want to thank you again for doing this for me. For finding someplace for me to live and work while I’m here. I hope I will do a good job," Julia said, quietly. Her voice was very melodic, and easy to listen to.

"We’re happy to help. Nick wanted to come into town as well, but he and Heath, his brother, had some branding to do. We had several calves that were born off season."

"I didn’t expect him to come out here again. He’s already done so much. All of you have."

Victoria noticed Julia tense when Nick’s name had been mentioned. She knew her middle son was wanting to get to know this young woman better, but Victoria was beginning to think that would not be a good idea. She made a mental note to talk with him about leaving her alone for now.

Victoria thought she would give Julia some information about her new home.

"The last occupants of the home had some trouble," Victoria explained. She decided not to go into the fact that Mormons had been the last to live in the house. Jarrod had rented the property to Hebron Grant and what he thought was his wife and daughter. Jarrod had been suspicious of the Grants, but wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Once he found out that Eliza and Emmelina were both Hebron’s wives, Jarrod tried to convince them to leave. Hebron stubbornly refused. It took Emmelina’s threat of divorce and then an attack by some of the men from town to get the man to leave the area.

"There was a small fire in the front of the house and although the damage on the outside has been repaired, we’ve never completely fixed the inside. It also needs a good cleaning from top to bottom."

"When does it need to be finished?" Julia asked.

"Not in the near future. You can take as long as you need to get everything finished. After all, you are still recovering from your injuries. Dr. Merar told me he didn’t want you to over do for at least the first week or so. I want you to take this next week and get acquainted with your surroundings and rest up. Don’t feel as though you have to tackle everything in one day."

They arrived at the rental house and Julia smiled. It was rather quaint. Homey even. The yard needed tending and the porch needed a good sweeping as well. Victoria helped Julia carry in her few belongings, then she was taken on a short tour. The upstairs had three bedrooms. The largest was considered the master bedroom. There was a small fireplace in the corner of the room, as well as a small vanity and chair. Victoria placed Julia’s things in the corner of the room. Victoria had come the day before and put clean sheets as well as a quilt on the bed.

There was a small water closet down at the end of the hall. Downstairs was a large sitting room. There were still marks from the fire that Victoria had mentioned. Julia wondered how the fire had started but figured if Victoria had wanted her to know, she would have told her. Julia found she was not a curious person by nature.

It was interesting to her that just as Victoria was learning about her, Julia was learning about herself. She discovered while living at the Merar’s that she did not like pickles, but loved pickled beets. She enjoyed falling asleep on her right side, but usually awoke on her left. These things might seem trivial to anyone else, but to Julia, they were very important.

Julia stopped her wandering thoughts and made herself pay attention to what Victoria was telling her concerning the kitchen.

"We installed a new pump here in the kitchen a few years ago. It looks as though it needs to be primed. We stocked up on some supplies, just the basics for now, but someone will be by to take you into town in a few days. You can make a list of what you’ll need. We have accounts at all the mercantiles in town."

"I hate for anyone to go to any trouble just to take me into town. I’m sure if I had my own horse and buggy..."

"That would be fine, but since the barn hasn’t been rebuilt yet, you’d have no where to keep them. Don’t worry about it. It won’t be any trouble," Victoria assured her. "I’ll leave you so that you can get settled."

Victoria walked toward the door then turned back. "Julia, promise me something?"

"Of course."

"Take it easy the next few days?"

Julia smiled. Her first impression of Victoria Barkley was that she was businesslike and formal. But spending these past few hours showed her that the Barkley Matriarch was also a compassionate person.

"I promise, Mrs. Barkley."

"I’ll see you soon," she said and walked out the door.

Chapter 4

Julia spent the next few days settling in and getting acquainted with the place which was now her home. She looked around the house and made a list of the things she thought she would need from town. Mrs. Barkley had said someone would be by to take her into town in a few days and although she knew it was ungrateful, she hoped it wouldn’t be Nick. He hadn’t given her any reason to fear him, but she did. Something else she had learned about herself was that she was afraid of men. Doctor Merar did all he could to help her relax with him and she admitted she felt more at ease in his presence, but she still found herself tensing whenever he came near.

Julia had just finished breakfast when she heard a noise coming from outside. She looked out of the window and smiled. Victoria Barkley was just stepping down from the buggy and headed toward the door. Julia opened it wide and ushered the other woman inside.

"Mrs. Barkley," Julia said.

"Julia, are you getting settled in?" Victoria asked, looking around. She noticed that Julia had been busy. As she had walked up on the porch she saw that it had been swept off and the cobwebs had been removed. The old sheets that covered what little furniture that was left were discarded, and the furniture had been dusted. Everything already looked better than it had a few days before.

"I am, thank you."

"I was headed to town and wondered if you would like to go with me? We could get any supplies you need."

"Of course. I made a list. Just let me change." Julia had chosen to wear the dress that was the most worn while she was doing work around the house. It was still beautiful, but Julia didn’t feel it was appropriate for a trip into town. The dress she changed into was a perfect color on her, making her eyes seem even more blue.

The two talked of generalities most of the way to town. They went into one of the mercantiles and presented Julia’s list. It wasn’t long and the clerk promised to have it completed in a few hours. Victoria treated them to lunch at the hotel and they were just finished when she saw Jarrod walk in.

"Hello Mother," he said, bending down to kiss her cheek.

"Jarrod, I thought you’d be in court all day."

"Well, I was supposed to be, but one of the prosecutor’s witnesses took ill. So the judge adjourned until tomorrow," Jarrod said, taking a seat next to his mother.

"Nothing serious I hope," Victoria asked.

"No, I suspect its just nerves."

"Julia, this is my oldest son, Jarrod."

"It’s nice to meet you."

"You as well," Julia said softly. She met Jarrod’s eyes just long enough to not appear rude, but both Victoria and Jarrod noticed how tense she was. Mother and son talked for several minutes, careful to let Julia feel included, but not have her feel as though she had to be involved. Julia kept her eyes on her plate and her hands in her lap, listening to the conversation going on around her. Jarrod ordered his lunch and was soon eating. Victoria and Julia both had their coffee cups refilled, but Julia’s remained untouched. Jarrod found himself wondering if it was himself or all men that made Julia so nervous. He decided to try and engage her in some conversation.

"Julia, have you been able to remember anything about your past?"

Julia glanced up at him and answered. "No."

"I took the liberty of contacting the sheriffs in nearby towns to see if there has been anyone reported missing."

Julia again met his eyes briefly. "Have you received any replies?"

"No. But if I do I’ll be sure to let you know."

Julia nodded and took a sip of her now cold coffee. Victoria watched the exchange, thankful that Jarrod didn’t mention he’d also asked Fred to search through wanted posters.

"Well, I should head back to my office and catch up on some paperwork. Mother, would you mind stopping by to take some things out to the ranch for me? Nick was eager for me to look over those freight contracts."

"Of course. We’ll be by shortly."

Jarrod stood and looked again at Julia. She was a very pretty young woman. She wore her hair down, with the sides pulled back, allowing the blond curls to fall down her back. From what he had seen, her eyes were an unusual shade of deep blue, almost indigo. Jarrod could see why Nick wouldn’t think she was a bank robber. Jarrod almost smiled at the thought.

"Julia, it was nice meeting you."

"You as well, Mr. Barkley."

"If I hear anything from the sheriffs I contacted, I’ll let you know."

Julia nodded and Victoria watched as she almost sagged with relief when Jarrod finally walked away.

"Why don’t we see if our order is ready at the mercantile. Then we can stop by Jarrod’s office, pick up those papers and I’ll take you home."

"That sounds fine, Mrs. Barkley. Thank you."

Julia wasn’t looking forward to going to Jarrod’s office, but knew it would be rude to refuse. She didn’t want to do anything to appear ungrateful for all the Barkley’s had done for her. After picking up the supplies, Victoria stopped the buggy in front of a two story building and the two ladies walked inside. Neither noticed that Julia was being watched. Zack Morton had seen Jarrod and his mother at the hotel and couldn’t help but notice the pretty young woman with them. He wondered who she was and decided he’d just keep an eye on her. Maybe even pay her a visit if he could find out where she was staying. He hoped she wasn’t a guest of the Barkley’s. He knew he’d never be welcomed in their home. There was a long standing feud between the Mortons and Barkleys that caused members of each family to strongly dislike the other. There was an annual rodeo that took place and for the last two years the Barkley’s had won. This bothered Zack more than he cared to admit. Especially since he'd been the one to cause his family to lose in the last one. Zack dreamed of wiping the smug look off of Nick Barkley’s face whenever he saw him.

"Whatcha doing, Zack?"

Zack turned to see his older brother, J.R. standing next to him.

"Nothing."

"Well, we gotta get home. Pa wants these supplies unloaded and the corral fence repaired before this evening. Sure wish he’d lighten up..."

Zack didn’t hear anything else his brother said. His mind was too busy thinking about the blond woman. He would do some asking around in town to see if he could find out any more about her.

Victoria tapped on Jarrod’s office door and then walked inside. She saw that he had just taken a cigar out but hadn’t lit it yet.

"We’re on our way home," Victoria said and Jarrod handed her the papers. He struck a match and puffed a few times on his cigar. He looked up to see Julia’s face pale. She began backing away. Victoria turned to see Julia cowering. She reached for the younger woman but Julia began to scream.

"No! No! Don’t! Stop!" She then fainted, her shoulder hitting the corner of the table before she fell in a heap on the floor .

Neither Victoria nor Jarrod knew what caused her to react this way and Mrs. Alverson, Jarrod’s secretary, ran in to see if she could help. Jarrod asked her to go for the doctor and she ran from the room. Jarrod carefully lifted Julia and placed her on the sofa in his office. He brushed her hair to the side and noticed a mark on the back of her neck.

"Mother," he said. Victoria looked and gasped. On the back of Julia’s neck were what appeared to be several burn marks. They weren’t new, and looked to be about the size of a cigar.

"Oh Jarrod," Victoria whispered and both realized that Jarrod lighting his cigar must have triggered a memory.

Mrs. Alverson was back a few minutes later, the doctor on her heels.

"What happened?" he asked, reaching for Julia’s wrist to feel her pulse.

"She became hysterical. Then fainted," Jarrod explained. The doctor nodded and asked that Jarrod and his secretary leave the room so that he could examine his patient.

"Howard? Do you want me to leave as well?" Victoria asked.

"No, Victoria. Please stay. I may need your help. When she fell, did she hit her head?"

"No, her shoulder hit the side of the table though."

Howard nodded and asked Victoria to help him sit Julia up so that he could unbutton her dress and take a closer look at her shoulder. Victoria again noticed the burn marks on Julia’s neck and as the doctor undid each button on the dress, Victoria saw more scars. It looked as though Julia had been whipped, and more than once.

"She’ll need some stitches. She must have caught the corner just right," Howard said. He looked up and saw Victoria’s pale face.

"Howard, these scars...."

"She told me she doesn’t remember how she got them, Victoria."

"Are they...all over?"

"They’re all down her back. But no where else. Whoever did this to her, made sure the scars could easily be hidden from everyone else."

Victoria’s eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away so that she could help Howard. He worked on Julia’s shoulder, thankful she slept through it all. Just as he was finishing up, she began to come around. Victoria hurriedly buttoned the dress and schooled her features.

Julia’s eyes opened and she looked around.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"You fainted and hit the corner of the table. Doctor Merar put some stitches in your shoulder."

Julia took a breath and closed her eyes. She felt nauseous. She opened them again and looked to the doctor, her eyes questioning him.

"You should be fine in a few days, Julia. I’m going to give you some laudanum to take home just in case your shoulder should bother you. I’ll come by and take out the stitches in a few days."

"Thank you doctor," she said softly.

"Come on, Julia. Let’s get you home," Victoria said. She helped Julia stand and walked her toward the door. The young woman refused to look up and meet Jarrod’s eyes.

"I’m going to take Julia home. I’ll see you at the ranch," Victoria informed her first born. He nodded, telling her he’d see her at dinner.

For the rest of the afternoon, Jarrod couldn’t get his mind off of Julia and what had happened. He found he couldn’t concentrate and decided he’d head home and have a long talk with his mother.

Victoria sat in the parlor sipping a cup of tea, her mind reliving the days events. Audra had not yet returned from the orphanage and Nick and Heath were still out on the ranch. She expected Jarrod home soon and she hoped he arrived before the others. She needed to talk about what had happened with Julia.

She thought about the ride home from town and the conversation, or rather lack of, with Julia. She could tell the younger woman had been embarrassed by her actions and Victoria hoped she was able to assure her that everything was fine.

The scars that covered Julia’s body were hideous. Victoria closed her eyes, trying to shut out the images. Part of her was glad Julia couldn’t remember her past, that way she wouldn’t remember the pain of what had happened. But then again, by not remembering her past, was she in danger? This was one of the things Victoria was wanting to speak with Jarrod about. What if he succeeded in finding her family? Were they responsible for this horrific torture Julia had endured? Were they inviting trouble in just to satisfy their own curiosity?

The door opened and closed, causing Victoria to open her eyes. She looked into the concerned face of her first born. After setting his things on the table in the foyer, he walked toward the drinks, pouring himself a sherry. He came to stand before the fireplace and stared into the cold hearth.

"Did Julia make it home alright?" he asked.

"Yes. She was quite embarrassed by her actions today."

Jarrod turned to his mother, his eyebrows raised.

"Tell me, Mother. Is it just of me she’s afraid? Or all men?"

Victoria sighed. "All men. At least from what I’ve seen. She seems the most at ease with Howard, but she’s been around him more."

"And Nick?"

"She tenses up, much like she does with you."

Both were silent for a few minutes. Jarrod poured himself another drink then came to sit beside his mother.

"Jarrod, are you going to pursue finding out where she came from?"

Jarrod looked up at his mother in surprise.

"Of course. You don’t think I should?"

Victoria placed her tea cup on the table and turned slightly.

"What if we bring the very people here who hurt her?"

"What if we bring her family to her? A family that loves her very much?"

Victoria knew Jarrod well enough that once he found a mystery, he had to solve it. Normally this was a trait in him she admired, but she wondered if perhaps this time, it would cause more harm than good. Before she could say anything more, Audra, Nick and Heath all walked in. Jarrod and Victoria greeted them and listened to their banter. Nick and Heath went to wash up and Audra left to change for dinner.

The next day, Heath watched his older brother, not ever remembering when he had seen him so quiet. Nick had been excited the night before when they had returned home from being out on the ranch all day. He had plans to clean up, eat dinner and then go visit Julia. He’d warned Heath not to get in his way, he was going to clean up first. Heath teased him a bit, and even beat Nick to the water closet but only in jest. He’d had no intention of going first this night. He had sensed excitement in Nick all day. An excitement he hadn’t seen in a while.

But after dinner, Victoria had asked to speak with Nick in the study. Heath and Audra went to the parlor to play a card game and could hear raised voices. Sometimes it was Nick, sometimes Jarrod and Nick. Audra and Heath just stared at one another when the voices would raise, but were not able to understand the words. Finally, Nick came through and went up to his room without saying a word. Heath, knowing that Nick had planned to go see Julia, knew that Jarrod and Victoria must have asked Nick not to go visit her. He wondered what the problem would be, but knew it was none of his business.

Heath again glanced at Nick and saw he was deep in thought. He hadn’t said much all day which was so unlike him. He had thought about asking Nick if he wanted to talk about it, but the look on Nick’s face did not invite any conversation. Even the other men kept to themselves, not willing to upset their boss.

Nick’s thoughts were also on the night before and the one thing his mother said to him that kept him from going to see Julia.

"Nick Barkley. You are a grown man and can make your own decisions. But as your mother, I am telling you not to go see Julia. Leave her alone and let her do the job she was hired to do."

Nick balled his fist, his thoughts going to how angry he had been with his mother and Jarrod. But he knew they were right. After hearing about what had happened in Jarrod’s office the day before....Nick knew he didn’t want to do anything to further cause Julia any pain. He sighed and went about the rest of his day, though his thoughts were never far from Julia.

Julia knew she was supposed to take things easy but just sitting around while being paid to do a job was not something she could do with a clear conscience. She decided she would at least start cleaning the upstairs and if she felt the need to lie down, she wouldn’t have far to go. So for the next few days, she concentrated on the bedrooms. Her shoulder ached, but not enough to keep her from doing simple tasks. She had just finished scrubbing one of the bedroom floors when she decided she needed to rest. She eyed the bottle of laudanum, wanting to take some. She finally relented and took a small dose. The sun was high in the sky when she lay on the bed and she slept through until morning.

Outside the house, someone was watching, waiting for any sign of her. Just a glimpse of her was all he wanted for now. He sat behind the tall bushes for over an hour and didn’t hear anything. Maybe she wasn’t there? Maybe she had moved on? But no, he was sure he had heard Dr. Merar say she was living at the small farm that the Barkley’s rented out on occasion. He smiled at the luck of walking near the Merar’s house and that the window was open. He had caught the conversation between the doctor and his wife on accident. But it was information that he had desperately wanted. That he felt he had needed.

Zack Morton sighed in frustration. He slowly made his way back to his horse and mounted. He’d come back in a few days to see if he could see her. He just wanted the chance to get to know her.

Chapter 5

As Victoria sat next to Nick in the buggy, she couldn’t help but smile slightly. She remembered well his anger toward her and Jarrod for telling him to stay away from Julia but now he was all smiles. After thinking it over, Victoria realized Julia would have no way of contacting them if she had a problem, so Victoria talked with Nick about getting the barn rebuilt and supplying Julia with a horse and buggy. She had considered asking Heath to do it, but realized that would not be fair to Nick since he was so eager to get to know their new tenant. She did warn him that he was there to work, not to try and charm her.

Nick hopped down, eager to see Julia again. He turned to help his mother and the two made their way to the porch. Nick knocked on the door, then stepped back some. After hearing about Julia’s reaction to Jarrod, he didn’t want to chance scaring her. They heard some shuffling inside then the door opened. Julia looked a bit surprised to see Nick but she smiled politely and ushered them inside.

"Mrs. Barkley," Julia said by way of greeting. She turned to Nick for just a second and said, "Mr. Barkley. It’s good to see you both again."

Nick smiled his most endearing smile and tipped his hat.

"Ma’am," he said.

Julia held his gaze for just a moment before returning it to Victoria.

"I see you’ve been busy," Victoria said, looking around.

"Yes ma’am. I’ve spent most of my time the last few days upstairs doing some cleaning, but decided to come down for a change of scenery. What brings you both out?"

"Nick and some of the hands are going to be repairing the damage done to the barn. Then we’ll supply you with a horse and buggy. It’s impractical for you to be out here and have no way to either get in touch with us or go into town if you need to."

Julia smiled and Nick had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from gasping. Her smile could brighten even the darkest of days, he thought.

As if on cue, the sound of wagons could be heard. Nick walked outside and Victoria started to follow. Victoria mentioned to Julia that Dr. Merar would be out in the next day or two to take out her stitches. She also told the younger woman to be careful. She’d done quite a bit of work and it was alright for her to take it easy. Julia just smiled and thanked Victoria. In truth, she was tired already, but she didn’t like being still. She enjoyed being busy and found the work around the house much to her liking.

At the sound of Nick’s men laughing and joking with one another, a look of panic crossed Julia’s face. Just the thought of having so many men near caused a feeling of absolute terror to engulf her. The Barkley’s had been nothing but kind, as had Dr. Merar, but something about men being too close... Absentmindedly, she rubbed her right forearm, the slight curve of the bone there a sign of it being broken and not set properly sometime before.

"You just need to learn one lesson and one lesson only. Do what you are told when you are told. No matter what is asked of you. Do you understand?"

She said nothing, just stared at the man before her.

"I said," he spoke menacingly," DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"

He grabbed her arm and twisted it sharply. She heard the sickening crack and sank to her knees....

"Julia?" Victoria noticed a strange look on the girl’s face.

Julia jumped slightly and turned to Victoria.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes....I....I’m fine. Victoria, would you like some tea? Or perhaps some lemonade?"

Victoria could see the anxiety on the other woman’s face and agreed to stay a while longer. She excused herself to speak with Nick for a moment, and told Julia she would join her in just a few minutes.

"Nick," Victoria said, calling Nick over to speak with her.

"Keep the men away from the house," Victoria said. "They make Julia very nervous. She seems to be feeling overwhelmed right now."

Nick looked back at the house, and then at his mother. He nodded and called the men over to him and explained that the house was off limits and to just stay near the barn. If any of the men wanted to question what he’d said, they didn’t. The look on Nick’s face told them the order better be obeyed or else.

Victoria didn’t stay to hear what Nick told the men, knowing he would do as she asked. She went back inside and stayed a while with Julia, enjoying her company. When she felt Julia was calmed down enough, she took her leave, promising to stop by in a few days. Julia walked Victoria to the door and closed it firmly behind her. She leaned against it, taking deep breaths. Glancing around the room, she saw the amount of work that still needed to be done and sighed, thankful to have something to keep her mind occupied.

The next day, Nick whistled as he rode Coco out to the farm. The men would be there in an hour to finish up the repairs. Nick was hoping to be able to talk to Julia some and was trying to think of a way to do just that. He promised his mother he would not bother her, but his need to get to know her was great.

There had been quite a storm the night before. The road was littered with debris and there were standing puddles of water. Nick reached the house and tied Coco to the hitching post then walked up to the door. He knocked and waited, his hat in his hand.

Julia opened the door hesitantly and Nick noticed her uneasiness. He hoped he could help her relax around him.

"Good morning!" he said cheerily.

"Morning," Julia said cautiously.

"Just wanted you to know we would be finishing up today. The men should be here soon."

"Thank you, Mr. Barkley."

"Please, why don’t you call me Nick."

Julia smiled slightly and nodded. Nick turned to walk away when she called to him.

"Excuse me, Nick?"

"Yes?"

"I think there’s a hole in the roof. During the storm last night I heard water dripping and when I awoke this morning there was a puddle on the floor in one of the bedrooms."

"Oh," Nick said. "We’ve got some roofing supplies here already for the barn. I’ll start on repairing the roof with those. Will you show me where the leak is?"

Julia nodded and opened the door. She told herself to be calm as she led Nick up the stairs to one of the bedrooms. She showed him where the damage was and waited by the door. Nick nodded to himself, thinking the repair would be an easy one. He would need to send one of the boys into town for some new plaster to repair the ceiling, but the repair shouldn’t take more than a day.

He turned and said, "Just some minor repairs. They can be done by this afternoon."

"Alright, I’ll leave you to them then," she said, and Nick could tell she was nervous about him being there. She stood by the door, skittish as a new foal, looking ready to bolt if the need arose. They heard the men approaching and Nick went outside to instruct them. He sent Harvey into town and then began the repairs on the roof. The new ranch hand arrived back several hours later and left the supplies Nick had asked for on the porch. Harvey had not been with the men the day before and didn’t know the standing order to stay away from the house. Julia had been working on the downstairs and heard what she thought was a knock on the door. She hesitantly opened it and saw the man standing there. He smiled at her, but she didn’t return it.

"Afternoon ma’am," he drawled, moving closer to her. "How are you?"

Julia didn’t say anything, the closeness too much for her to even breath properly.

"Not very talkative, huh?" Harvey saw a smudge of dirt on Julia’s cheek and reached up to wipe it off. Just that simple act caused her to back away in terror. Harvey, not understanding, walked toward her, asking if she were okay. Julia cried out, holding her hands up to shield herself from the attack she was sure was coming.

Nick heard her scream and quickly climbed down from the ladder and ran into the house. Julia was cowered in a corner with Harvey standing over her.

"Just what do you think you’re doing, Baxter?!" Nick bellowed.

"Nothing, Mr. Barkley! I put the supplies you asked for on the porch. She came to the door and I started talking to her. She began to panic and scream. I didn’t do anything, I swear!"

Paul Tyler had heard Julia’s screams as well and had come running. He heard Harvey’s explanation and said to Nick, "He wasn’t with us yesterday, Boss. He didn’t realize he wasn’t supposed to go near the house."

Nick cursed to himself for not talking to the men again. He’d forgotten Nate had asked for the day off to go and visit family. Harvey had been his replacement.

"It’s alright, Harvey. Just stay away from the house from now on," Nick said and dismissed the men.

He turned to Julia who was still sitting on the floor, her face buried in her hands. He walked over and knelt beside her, careful not to touch her.

"Julia?" he said softly.

She looked up at him and his heart broke at the fear he saw in her eyes.

"It’s alright. I forgot to talk to the men this morning. I’m sorry. They won’t bother you anymore."

The sound of his voice was soothing and she responded to it. Julia nodded, trying to calm herself. Her face was so pale, her blue eyes wide with fright. Nick reached out to touch her shoulder but she stiffened. Nick withdrew his hand, wishing his mother were here. Nick didn't know what to do to help her....he finally just rose, hoping that it she would be fine if he left her alone. Julia felt foolish for her outburst, wishing she could just go up to her room and lie down.

Throughout the rest of the day, Nick made trips up and down the ladder, getting the supplies he needed for the roof. Every once in a while, Julia would catch herself looking out the window, trying to catch a glimpse of him.

Nick, for his part, did the work on the roof efficiently, if not somewhat distractedly. He couldn’t get Julia’s reaction to Harvey out of his mind.

What could have happened to her to make her so afraid? he asked himself over and over. He shook his head, not able to come up with any answers. He wished he knew of something he could say or do that would help her feel more at ease, but nothing came to mind. He understood now his mother’s request that he keep his distance from Julia. It was not to punish him, but to protect Julia herself. Nick sighed to himself and continued his work. He hoped he would never cause her to react to him as she had to Harvey.

The men had finished the barn repairs and Nick sent them back to the ranch. The day was a hot one and Nick had been working for several hours. His mind kept replaying the scene with Harvey and Julia in his mind. When he had finished the repairs on the outside, he climbed down from the roof. He saw Julia coming out on the porch with a glass of lemonade and thought she looked like she was feeling better. She smiled slightly at him and motioned toward the roof.

"Almost done?"

"Actually, I’m just finished. Now all I need to do is re-plaster the inside and it’ll be good as new," he said, eyeing the glass. Julia stared into his hazel eyes, noticing, not for the first time, how handsome Nick Barkley was. Nick just stood there, waiting for her to say something. She realized she was still holding the glass and then held it out to him.

"It’s so hot. I thought maybe you would like a cool drink," she said, embarrassed at the fact she was staring.

"Thank you," he said and took the glass. He took a long drink, the cool liquid causing his eyes to close in pleasure.

"Very good!" he said as he handed the empty glass back to her.

"I have more if you’re interested," she said.

Oh, I’m interested, Nick thought. But after what had happened earlier, he knew that was a thought he should keep to himself. Go slow and don’t scare her off.

Out loud he said, "That would be great."

Julia went to get him another glass and Nick took his time drinking the second one. It hit the spot and when she offered him a third glass, it took all of Nick’s self control to say no.

"I should finish up," he said, giving her the glass.

He thought he saw a slight look of disappointment, but he wasn’t sure. Julia took the glass inside and Nick followed her in. He went up the stairs and began the repairs. Julia decided she would go outside for a while. She walked toward the barn and noticed that the men had done a good job with the repairs. It would be good to be able to go into town if she wanted or maybe even for a ride if she desired. She smiled with contentment. She walked back to the house and heard Nick as he worked on the ceiling. She had gotten quite a bit accomplished that day and was tired. She sat on the porch swing and pushed with her toe, getting the swing to move slightly. She felt relaxed finally. As she thought of her reaction to the ranch hand that morning, her face burned with embarrassment. Nick’s reaction came to her mind and she smiled slightly. Even in her hysterical state, she had clearly heard him as he yelled at the young man. Then, his voice was soft as he knelt beside her, trying to calm her. Julia sighed. She felt so mixed up. On the one hand, she wanted nothing to do with men at all and on the other, she admitted she wouldn’t mind getting to know Nick Barkley better.

As if Nick had heard Julia’s unspoken thoughts, he appeared on the porch. He again was struck by her beauty. Her strawberry blond hair fell in a riot of curls around her shoulders, the sides pulled up, leaving a few ringlets around her face. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the heat of the day and her deep blue eyes watched him. He smiled at her and said, "Well, I’m all done upstairs. I’ll be by tomorrow to bring the horse and buggy."

"Thank you, Nick," she said, standing. He noticed her unease and again hoped he could find a way to help her feel comfortable around him.

Nick tipped his hat and walked toward Coco. He wanted so badly to ask her to come to dinner or allow him to take her to dinner in town. But for once, Nick reined in his impulsiveness. He could tell Julia was a special person and he needed to go extremely slow. He smiled as he rode home, thinking about his day. He hadn’t spent a lot of time with Julia, but was content. And he would get to see her again the next day as well.

Chapter 6

The next morning, Julia rose earlier than usual. She had gone to bed quite early and slept fitfully because of the dreams she had. All she could remember about her dreams was someone chasing her. She chalked it up to the incident of the day before and tried to put it from her mind.

Over breakfast she thought about the memory she’d had a few days before. Again, she rubbed her right forearm, feeling the curve of the bone. What had her life been like before? Would she ever remember? Would she ever want to remember?

Julia decided she would explore her surroundings a bit. She hadn’t been out of the house except to town the few days before and was curious. The area was grown over quite a bit with no one there tending it for so long. Julia spotted a flower bed over grown with weeds and decided then and there she wanted to plant some flowers. She wasn’t sure what would grow well in the area, but was determined to find out the information she needed. Nick had said he would be by that day with the horse and buggy but hadn’t given her a definite time.

Julia walked further from the house and heard the sound of water. She couldn’t believe her luck! A waterfall! The sound of the water had a soothing effect and she sat down next to it. She reached in and felt the water, amazed that on such a hot day it would still be cool. She brought some up to her mouth and tasted its sweetness.

Julia wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting by the waterfall when she realized Nick might be at the house and would probably be looking for her. She started back to the house and was halfway when she heard footsteps behind her. She was afraid to turn around...afraid of who she would see. Her heart began to beat faster and faster and her breathing became ragged. She began to run and then got enough courage to look behind her. Not seeing anything or anyone behind her, she turned back to the house. She gave a cry of alarm as she bumped right into Nick.

"Whoa, now. What’s wrong?" he asked, holding onto her arms. He could tell she was frightened.

"I was just startled is all," she said. It could have just been an animal scurrying through the woods. After all, she hadn’t really seen anyone. Julia realized Nick was still holding on to her and looked up. He smiled at her and led her back to the house, holding on to her hand.

"There’s a small waterfall about a hundred yards away," Nick said.

"Yes, I found it. It’s beautiful. I was on my way back when I thought I heard someone behind me," she said, feeling foolish.

"Maybe it was just an animal," Nick said, hoping to alleviate her fears.

"Yes, that’s probably all it was."

Nick was still holding on to Julia’s hand and she shyly took it from him. He smiled at her, and cleared his throat.

"Well, here’s your carriage, Ma’am," he said, bowing at the waist. Julia couldn’t help but laugh and Nick thought it was a beautiful sound. He hoped he could find a way to get her to laugh again.

"What’s the horse’s name?" she asked, patting the medium sized animal. The horse nuzzled her hand, looking for treats.

"This is Patty. She’s a very gentle mare and should be no problem for you to handle her."

"Nick," Julia said, turning to him. "I’ve never driven a buggy before. At least, I don’t remember doing it. Would you show me how? And how to care for Patty?"

Nick smiled, thinking he had just been handed the moon. He had told Heath not to expect him back for a while and was glad he’d had the foresight.

"I’d be happy to show you. It’s very easy. Would you care to go for a ride? I can show you how to handle her and then when we come back, show you how to unhitch the buggy and care for Patty."

Julia swallowed, knowing she would need to sit quite close to Nick in the buggy. Plus, she didn’t know where they would be going. She decided then and there she needed to trust him. He hadn’t done anything to hurt her, in fact, had acted as her protector. She had to learn to trust men at some point, since she couldn’t live here forever. Once she was finished here, she would have to leave and she couldn’t hope for another place that was so isolated.

Nick watched as she tried to decide what to do. He held his breath, hoping she would say yes, but was already telling himself to school his features if she said no.

"I’d like that," she said softly. Nick didn’t bother to school his features this time and his smile was wide.

She grinned back and then excused herself to freshen up after her walk. Nick patiently waited. When Julia returned, Nick helped her into the buggy and climbed in beside her. He felt her stiffen some, but clucked to Patty to move and just hoped Julia would be able to relax. They rode in silence for a while and then Nick stopped the buggy. Julia, who had been enjoying the scenery, turned to him.

"Your turn," was all he said, handing the reins over to her. She took a deep breath and then took the leather in her hands. She flicked the reins across Patty’s back and the horse began to move. Nick watched her as she smiled, clearly pleased with herself.

"You’re doing well," he said and she smiled. "Let the horse carry the bit lightly....She's tender mouthed and has a sweet disposition. Make sense?"

"Yes," she said.

"Relax a little. Horses can sense if you’re frightened."

"Even if you aren’t riding them?" Julia asked, working on getting herself to relax. It was unnerving having Nick so close, and comforting at the same time. How could that be? she asked herself.

To get Julia to relax, Nick began to talk. He talked about the weather, the San Joaquin Valley, his family and the ranch. He was delighted to hear Julia laugh at some of his stories.

"You are doing a good job at the house," he said.

"Thank you. I enjoy the work," she said, keeping her eyes on the road. Nick’s constant flow of words were doing the trick and she was feeling more relaxed by the minute.

"I noticed a flowerbed close to the house. I was thinking of going into town to order some seeds. Flowers are so beautiful," she said wistfully.

"My mother has a beautiful flower garden. You should ask her for some help."

"You don’t think she’d mind?"

"Not at all."

Julia smiled widely. They arrived back at the farm and Nick instructed Julia to drive the buggy close to the barn. He helped her down and showed her how to unhitch Patty. He allowed her to lead the mare into the stall and he brought in the bag of feed, setting it in the corner of the barn. He showed her the amount that Patty needed and then showed her how to hitch the mare back up to the buggy. Julia was a quick learner and quite pleased with her newly learned skill.

"Well, I guess I should go," Nick said. He tried to think of some reason to stay, but came up blank. He tipped his hat and began to walk away.

"Nick!" Julia called after him.

Nick turned around.

"Thank you," she said softly. He smiled, pleased that he had been able to spend as much time with her as he had, hoping the opportunity would present itself again. He mounted Coco and whistled as he made his way home. The only sour spot was the fact he was leaving for a horse auction the next day. He’d be gone for two weeks and he knew he’d miss seeing her. He and Heath had been planning this trip for a few months, and Nick had been eager to go. But that was before Julia. Nick sighed and hoped the trip would be productive and that it would go by quickly.

Chapter 7

The next few weeks went by and everything settled into a routine for Julia. She rose early when the day was still cool and worked outside, clearing away weeds and some of overgrown grasses. Then she would venture inside during the heat of the day, humming to herself as she painted and cleaned. She never strayed too far from the house after the incident of "hearing" footsteps behind her. She was sure it had just been an animal, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

She had ridden into town to see Dr. Merar and he had removed her stitches. Her shoulder had healed nicely and he was pleased. What didn’t please him was how tired she looked. Julia insisted she was fine, and was eager to return home. In truth, Julia was not sleeping well at night. Ever since the incident with Harvey, she had been having nightmares. Sleep was never long in coming, since her daily activities kept her busy, but she would often wake herself up in the middle of the night screaming. It bothered her that she could not remember the dreams and wished she could find a way to make them stop. She thought of mentioning them to Dr. Merar, but realized he wouldn’t be able to do anything. They were just dreams, after all. At least, that was what she kept telling herself.

When he questioned her about her arm having noticed the curve of the bone, Julia shrugged, hoping he would believe she still couldn’t remember what had happened. Her "flashback" or whatever it was, had terrified her. Especially since she couldn’t see the face of the man who had caused the injury. Would she know him if she saw him again? Julia shuddered, and pushed the disturbing thoughts from her mind.

Julia had spoken with Victoria about getting some help with starting a flower garden and had set up a time to meet with her. She had become quite good at taking care of Patty, hitching and unhitching the buggy, and enjoyed her freedom. She hadn’t seen Nick since the day he’d brought Patty to her, and admitted she was hoping to see him, at least briefly that day.

Julia was lost in her thoughts and didn’t notice the rider that was coming toward her from the left. She glanced over and tried not to panic, not recognizing the man who had pulled up beside her and was introducing himself.

"Mornin’ Ma’am," the cowboy said, tipping his hat. "My name’s Zack Morton and I’m one of your neighbors."

Julia shifted in her seat, wishing she could hurry Patty along. She didn’t want to appear rude, but had no desire to engage this man in conversation.

"Good morning," was all she said. She hoped he would get the idea that she just wanted to be left alone.

"Are you headed into town? Perhaps I could ride with you?" he said and Julia shook her head.

"No, I’m not headed into town," she said, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Well then, maybe another time," he said and again tipped his had. He rode off and Julia slumped against the buggy seat, thankful he was gone. She flicked the reins and Patty began to trot. Julia sighed with relief when she saw the gate of the Barkley Mansion come into sight.

She pulled up in front of the house, trying not to stare in awe of the lovely mansion. The white pillars stood tall and proud in the morning sun, showing that the Barkley family had been blessed with prosperity. A Mexican man came to take the reins and help her down and Julia walked to the large front door and knocked. She only had to wait a moment before the door opened and Victoria ushered her inside.

"Julia! How nice to see you. How about some tea before we go to the garden?" Victoria asked, leading her into the parlor.

The women sat, enjoying one another’s company, and were joined by Audra at one point. Julia was fascinated to learn of Audra’s work with the orphanage and Victoria noticed her interest. She thought Audra’s friendship might be good for Julia and suggested that maybe Julia and Audra could ride out to the orphanage later in the week. Julia smiled with pleasure, eager to do just that.

Audra excused herself and Julia followed Victoria out to the flower garden. Julia’s breath caught in her throat as she saw all of the beautiful flowers.

"Oh, Mrs. Barkley! What a lovely garden you have!"

"Thank you. I’ll admit, this is one of my favorite places to be."

"I can see why."

The two carried on in conversation, talking about different flowers. Julia asking questions and Victoria answering them with ease. Victoria had kept a journal of what flowers she had planted and this was a big help in what was chosen for Julia to take back to the farm house.

They stopped for a light lunch, and were again joined by Audra. There was a party at Mary Wallace’s that weekend and it was all Audra could talk about. She had been asked by one of the sons of a family in town and was eager to get to know him better.

Julia smiled at Audra’s enthusiasm. Audra asked Julia if perhaps she wanted to attend as well, but Julia declined, saying she wasn’t much for going to parties.

"Oh, but its so much fun!"

"Thank you, Audra. But I prefer to stay away from large crowds."

Audra opened her mouth to say something but she saw her mother slightly shake her head. Audra couldn’t imagine not liking parties, and thought perhaps she could talk more to Julia about it on their way to the orphanage.

They had just finished lunch when Julia was nearly scared out of her skin by a booming voice.

"MOTHER!"

Julia looked to Victoria, curious as to why the woman wasn’t running to see what was the matter. Audra giggled and Victoria just rolled her eyes.

Nick entered the dining room and stopped so suddenly Heath bumped into him from behind.

"Nick, must you shout?" Victoria said, exasperated.

Nick ignored his mother’s soft rebuke and smiled widely at Julia. He and Heath had returned the day before and Nick had been planning to go and see her that evening.

"Good afternoon," he said.

Julia met his eyes briefly and smiled. She saw Heath and nodded to him as well, but quickly averted her eyes. Heath could see now why Nick was so smitten with this lady. He had only seen her when she had been pulled from the train wreckage, and hadn’t noticed what a beauty she was.

Nick continued to smile at Julia when Audra said, "Nick, aren’t you going to introduce Heath?"

"Who?" Nick said and Audra held her napkin to her mouth to hide her laughter. Again Victoria rolled her eyes and Nick’s ears pinked up just a bit. Heath, for his part, pretended his boots were quite interesting.

"Julia, this is my youngest son, Heath," Victoria said, spearing Nick with a look that clearly said, "Be careful."

Silas brought Nick and Heath their plates and they took their seats at the table. Julia stiffened a bit, but Victoria noticed that the more Nick talked, the more relaxed she became. She even offered some to the conversation, but seemed content mostly to just listen.

Victoria and Julia excused themselves to finish gathering flowers from the garden and Nick quickly finished his lunch.

"What’s your hurry?" Heath asked.

"Nothing. You take your time finishing up. I’m going to see if Mother needs any help."

"With the flowers?" Heath asked to Nick’s retreating back. Heath sighed, "Boy, has he got it bad."

"I’ll say," Audra replied, she and Heath sharing a smile.

Nick listened to the conversation between Julia and his mother, knowing it wasn’t polite to eavesdrop. But Julia seemed so relaxed and Nick was hesitant to ruin her good mood. He listened as they talked about the flowers, not really paying attention to what was being said until Julia asked a question.

"Mrs. Barkley, do you know who Zack Morton is?"

Victoria paused and looked over at Julia.

"Yes. He and his father and brother own a ranch not too far from here. Why do you ask?"

"He rode with me part of the way here. He asked if I were going into town, said he wanted to ride with me but I told him I wasn’t headed that way. I’ll admit, he made me nervous."

"What was it about him that made you nervous?" Victoria asked, worried for this young woman who she was beginning to think of very highly.

"It’s just....well, men make me nervous," she admitted then felt foolish for saying anything. "I’m sorry. He didn’t do anything...it’s just he said he was my neighbor...."

Nick walked away then, not wanting to hear any more. He was going to have a little talk with Zack Morton.

"Heath! Let’s go!" Nick yelled. Heath, who had just gotten his second helping of Silas’s pie, shook his head. He excused himself from Audra, who sat at the table laughing at Heath’s pained expression.

Heath walked out and said to Nick, "Why are you in such a dad-blame hurry all of a sudden? I thought you were helping Mother with her flowers."

"I’ve got a call to make and thought you might want to go with me," Nick said, mounting Coco.

"A call on who?" Heath asked. He mounted Charger and rode up beside Nick.

"Zack Morton," Nick said, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

"Why?"

"He’s been bothering Julia and I’m going to see that he stops."

"Bothering how?"

Nick stopped Coco and turned to his brother.

"I heard Julia telling Mother that Zack approached her on the road. He made her nervous."

Heath thought about this for a moment, the horses moving again. If, from what he’d heard Jarrod and his mother say, all men made Julia nervous, why would Zack be any different? He thought of saying that to Nick, but then again, when it came to the Mortons, Heath wasn’t too sure Nick would see reason. Instead he said, "Did he do anything to her?"

Nick thought for a moment, trying to recall Julia’s exact words.

"No. But he wanted to ride into town with her."

Again, Heath didn’t see the harm in that, but knew not to say anything. He knew he could just let Nick go by himself, but thought maybe he should stick around to make sure Zack or his brother, J.R., didn’t try anything. He did hope that Nick would calm down some though before he got to the Morton’s ranch. His wish didn’t come true though. It seemed that Nick was fairly seething by the time they dismounted and Nick pounded on the front door. Heath found himself wishing that perhaps Zack weren’t home, but when he opened the door, Heath just shook his head.

"Well, well, well. To what do I owe the privilege?" Zack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Stay away from Julia," Nick hissed. Heath knew things were not going to go well when Nick didn’t yell. A loud Nick was an angry Nick. But a quiet Nick was a dangerous Nick.

"Don’t know what yer talkin’ about Barkley! Where do you get off coming here-"

"I’m warnin’ ya, Morton! Stay away from her! She don’t need the likes of you scaring her!"

"All I did was talk to her."

"That’s another thing! Stay off Barkley property!" Nick said, grabbing a handful of Zack’s shirt.

Zack forcefully pulled himself out of Nick’s grip and straightened his shirt.

"I spoke to her on the road. You may own a lot of land, Barkley but you don’t own the whole Valley. And I’ll talk to whoever I want wherever I want! It’s a free country!"

"I agree. Which means if its free for you, its free for me!" And with that, Nick’s fist was planted in Zack Morton’s face. Heath groaned, knowing all along this wasn’t going to go well. He wondered why J.R. and Rufus hadn’t come out to see what was the matter yet. They must not have been home. Morton fell at Nick’s feet and Nick walked away.

On the way back to the horses, Heath asked, "Did ya have to hit him, Nick?"

"Had to get my point across," Nick said, pulling up on Coco.

"Well, do you think you succeeded?" Heath asked, mounting Charger. They rode off a ways before Heath heard Nick answer.

"For Julia’s sake, I hope I have," Nick said quietly.

Chapter 8

Victoria and Julia had just finished up when Nick and Heath arrived home. It was late in the afternoon and Julia was eager to get home to begin working on her garden. Victoria asked her to stay for dinner, but Julia declined.

Nick asked if he could escort her home and after her slight scare that morning with Zack Morton, Julia was glad for his company. He tied Coco to the back of the buggy and they started toward the farm. Julia smiled, thinking about all the beautiful flowers Victoria had allowed her to get cuttings from and couldn’t wait until they were blooming. She had written down careful instructions so that she would know what to do.

Nick, usually one who needed to fill silence with talk, enjoyed the quiet. He watched Julia from the corner of his eye and couldn’t help but smile. She was as relaxed as he’d ever seen her. He wanted so badly to reach over and take her hand, but wouldn’t let himself.

They were almost to the farmhouse when Julia reached out to put a hand on Nick’s arm. He looked over at her and saw she was pointing to the side of the road. He stopped the buggy and saw a small ball of fur. He climbed down from the buggy and as he got closer, he realized it was a kitten, probably not more than a week or two old.

"How adorable!" Julia said softly, but Nick admitted to himself that wasn’t the word he would have used. The gray cat was scrawny looking and its pitiful meow was painful on his ears.

"I wonder where the mother is?" Julia asked, taking the kitten from Nick and began looking around. Nick looked around as well and spotted the bloody, lifeless body about ten yards away.

"Looks like an animal got a hold of her," Nick said when Julia came up beside him.

"Then this little one has no one to care for it," she said sadly. The kitten continued its annoying meows, but Nick could see Julia thought they were lovely sounds.

"I guess you could take it and care for it," he said, and was rewarded with a beautiful smile.

"Oh, you think so? I’d love the chance to help it."

Nick took the cat from her and examined it closely.

"Him. You can help him," handing the kitten back to her.

Julia smiled and said, "I take it you aren’t fond of cats?"

"They’re alright, I guess. Not my favorite animal."

"Will you think of a name for him?"

"Me?"

"Well, you did think of my name. You seem good at it."

Nick furrowed his brow.

"Thinking of a name for a beautiful woman is one thing. But for a cat...and a male one at that...."

Julia blushed at his mention of her being beautiful. She was sure he wouldn’t think that if he could see her scarred body. Her cheeks burned at the thought and she knew she needed to get her mind on something else.

Nick watched her face turning all shades of red and wondered what it was he’d said. He mentally shrugged and again tried to think of a name for the mewling kitten.

"He’s tiny thing, isn’t he? A little scrap."

"That’s it!"

"What?" Nick asked, confused.

"We’ll name him Scrap."

Nick’s heart warmed when Julia said "We". He was sure Julia didn’t mean it the way he’d thought of it, but he didn’t mind. He enjoyed watching her face as she spoke to the kitten.

"Well, we should get Scrap home. He looks hungry," Nick said and Julia agreed. They climbed into the buggy and were off again. Scrap settled down in Julia's lap and slept until they arrived at the farm.

Nick helped Julia down and told her he’d take care of Patty and the buggy. He’d also promised to bring in the cuttings stored under the buggy’s seat. Julia went into the house and found a small box to place Scrap in while she looked for something for him to eat.

Nick came in a few minutes later and placed the cuttings on the kitchen table. He watched as Julia handled the tiny kitten with care and was again amazed at her beauty. Julia had seen him come in and she offered him something to drink, which Nick gladly accepted. He’d do just about anything to stay near her a bit longer.

They both laughed at the kitten as he played with a small string Julia had found. She let it bounce above the kitten’s head and he playfully swatted at it. Finally, Scrap settled down and curled up in a ball to sleep.

Julia and Nick walked toward the front door and just before Nick opened it to leave, he turned to Julia.

"I heard you talking to my mother about Zack Morton," Nick began. "Please don’t think I was listening in," although Nick knew that was exactly what he had been doing. But he didn’t want to scare her.

Julia watched him, a curious look in her eyes.

"I just want you to know I went over to Zack’s and we had a good talk. He won’t be bothering you again."

Julia smiled slightly. It gave her a sense of peace to know that Nick was looking out for her. He’d never been anything but a perfect gentleman with her and she was, little by little, coming to trust him. She wasn’t even upset that he’d listened in on her conversation with his mother.

"Thank you, Nick," she said and he tipped his hat and walked out the door. The sun was just beginning to set, but Nick didn’t notice. His mind was on Julia and he hoped the promise he’d made to her about Zack not bothering her any longer was true.

Later that night, Nick sat in the parlor, a drink in his hand. He’d poured it some time earlier but had not taken a drink as of yet. He stared into the fireplace, lost in his thoughts. There was no fire in the hearth since the temperatures outside were stifling. Everyone had long a go turned in, or so Nick had thought.

Victoria watched her middle son and wondered what he was thinking. When he had returned earlier from escorting Julia home, he seemed fine, but her mother’s eye had caught the slightest difference in him. The others had not noticed and the evening was normal for the most part. Nick, Jarrod and Heath played billiards while Victoria and Audra looked on, each holding in silent laughter at the barbs that flew back and forth. She loved the evenings when all of her children were home.

Silently, Victoria walked in and sat down in front of Nick. He looked over at her and she reached for his hand.

"You seem thoughtful tonight, Nick," she said, squeezing his hand.

"I am."

"Want to share?"

Nick took a deep breath and let go of his mother’s hand. He stood and took a drink. The liquid burned as went down his throat. He set the glass down and then leaned against the mantel, folding his arms across his chest.

"I can’t stop thinking about Julia."

Victoria smiled, knowing Nick was falling hard.

"She’s a nice young lady," Victoria said.

"A few weeks ago, when we were rebuilding the barn, something happened."

Victoria waited for Nick to continue. He was speaking softly, something that most would think was unusual, but this mother knew her son well enough that he could be very soft spoken. Especially when something weighed heavy on his mind.

"What happened, Nick?"

"That second day, I arrived early and Julia told me there was a leak in the roof. I sent one of the men into town to get some supplies to fix it and when he returned, he went up to the house. Harvey hadn’t been with us the day before and didn’t know about my orders to stay away. I heard Julia scream and ran to see what was the matter."

Nick closed his eyes at the memory. He opened them again, focusing on the far wall.

"She was cowered in a corner. I’ve never seen someone so frightened before. It almost reminded me of how I felt after I’d been bitten by that cougar. Harvey hadn’t touched her, he was just as stunned as I was. Paul had come running in and reminded me that Harvey hadn’t known to stay away from the house. After I dismissed them, I tried to talk to Julia. Comfort her. What could have made her so afraid?"

Victoria sighed, knowing of all her sons, Nick was the most sensitive. He was a tough cowboy to be sure, but he had the most tender heart. He felt all things deeply. He had no way of knowing about Julia's scars and Victoria didn't feel she should be the one to mention them. She was trying to decide what to say to him when he began speaking again.

"Doctor Merar told me a while back that Julia has had a rough life. He didn’t give me any details, but after what happened, I realized he was trying to protect her. You and Jarrod tried to warn me too," said looking over at his mother. She nodded to him.

"You care for her, don’t you Nick?" Victoria asked. She already knew the answer, but wanted to hear him say it.

He smiled slightly.

"I do. I want to get to know her better. I just don’t want to ever do anything to make her afraid of me."

"You won’t, Nick. It was a misunderstanding between her and Harvey. But I think you know to take things slow."

Nick grinned then, knowing his mother knew patience was not one of his virtues.

"I promise I’ll be careful, Mother."

Victoria stood and walked over to her son and put her hand up on his cheek.

"I want to protect her," he whispered. "I want to make sure whatever happened before to make her afraid, doesn’t happen again." He looked sheepishly at his mother. "I overheard her talking to you about Zack Morton. I went over there this afternoon to ask him not to bother her anymore."

Victoria sighed and dropped her hand, knowing full well there was more to it than what Nick was telling her.

"You asked him?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Don’t worry, Mother. I think I got my point across," Nick said, grinning.

Victoria raised her eyebrow, knowing Nick probably did make a good point, but she knew it wasn’t with his words. She only hoped Zack would heed Nick’s advice, for Julia’s sake.

"Nick, we don’t know much about Julia. Where she came from, what her real name is. She could be married for all we know."

Nick stiffened at the thought. Not just because of the fact that meant she was not available, but because he didn’t want to fathom the fact she could have learned this fear from someone who was supposed to love her.

"Just be careful, dear. For both your sakes."

"I promise, Mother," Nick said. Victoria left him then, thankful she had spoken with him. Nick stayed downstairs for a while longer. He then headed up to bed, his last thoughts before sleep claimed him, were of Julia.

Chapter 9

Julia had begun going to the orphanage with Audra and enjoyed it immensely. The children were all so sweet and Julia loved the time she could spend reading to them or playing some of their games. It was a nice break in her routine of working on the house, which was really beginning to shape up.

Nick came often to make minor repairs. Each time he came, Julia made sure she had a pitcher of lemonade ready, for after he had completed his tasks, they would go out onto the porch and talk. Nick always stood, leaning against the porch railing while Julia sat on the swing. She felt comfortable in his presence, glad to finally not be fearful of the handsome cowboy. She loved to listen to him talk about his family and the ranch, laughing at some of his stories. Nick never attempted to touch her, and she was grateful. Although she was happy to have found a friend in Nick, she was still uneasy about any physical contact from men. She knew she was being rude by not asking him to sit with her on the swing, but the distance made her more comfortable. Nick didn’t seem to mind and for that she was so thankful.

Scrap, the kitten, was growing by leaps and bounds and had turned out to be a good companion for Julia. Nick found the cat a minor annoyance, but wouldn’t have said that to Julia for anything. Often, while they were talking, Scrap would attempt to climb up Nick’s pant leg. Julia would hide her smiles as Nick swatted at the cat, trying to distract him from digging his claws into his leg.

One afternoon as Nick rode toward the farm house, he thought about his relationship with Julia. It was unusual. Nick longed to take her hand or hold her in his arms. Her pink lips looked so soft and inviting, but he knew if he gave in to his desires, he would destroy the trust he’d built up with her. And nothing would make him do that. He was content to let her set the pace.

As was their ritual, Nick stood on the porch as they talked. Julia had spent the day at the orphanage with Audra which meant Scrap had been locked up inside. He was in rare form and Nick seemed to be getting most of his attention. Julia finally took pity on the dark haired cowboy and distracted her kitten with a string as she and Nick talked. Scrap finally settled down and decided he’d groom himself.

Julia had been thinking a lot lately about Nick and realized she was ready to let him get a bit closer. She went inside to get them each another glass of lemonade and when she returned, instead of sitting in the middle of the swing, she sat to one side. Nick noticed right away, but waited for her to say something.

"I’m sorry I’ve been so rude in making you stand. You’ve had a long day. Would you like to sit down?"

Nick smiled, his cheeks dimpling and Julia had to smile in return. He took a seat and started the swing moving with his foot. They talked for a while longer. Nick was reluctant to leave but Julia had been stifling yawns and he knew she was needed to get to bed. He couldn’t help but smile all the way home as he thought a major step had been taken.

Eventually, not a day went by that Nick and Julia didn’t see one another. Mostly their time together was spent on Julia’s porch, but a few times they’d gone for a ride in the buggy and once on a picnic up to the small water fall near the farm. Nick knew he’d lost his heart to her, and every once in a while, when she would mention finding out who she was and where she’d come from, Nick would quickly change the subject. He knew if it were himself, he’d want to know who he really was, but the fear Julia had haunted him and he somehow felt if they didn’t talk about it, if she didn’t know about her past, then she was safe.

Julia admitted to feeling a bit frustrated with Nick for always managing to change the subject, so one afternoon when she was at the Barkley mansion, Julia approached Jarrod who was in the study, going over some legal matters for the ranch. Julia took a deep breath, summoning all of her courage. She knew Jarrod wouldn't hurt her, but Nick was the only man with whom she wasn't afraid.

"May I speak with you?"

Jarrod looked up in surprise, but quickly schooled his features. He stood and said, "Of course, have a seat."

Julia took the comfortable chair that sat adjacent to the desk. Jarrod leaned against the desk, waiting for her to speak.

"I was wondering if you’d ever heard from the sheriffs you’d contacted? Were there any missing persons reported?’

"No, I’m sorry."

Julia looked almost relieved and disappointed at the same time. Jarrod had intended to talk with Julia about it earlier, but things had been quite busy lately and he was trying to finish up the ranch business before he had to leave for San Francisco. He was dreading taking the stage, but he couldn’t put off his trip for much longer. He did hope the bridge that had been destroyed and the damaged tracks would be repaired soon.

"Julia, if you would like, I can contact Pinkerton’s Detective Agency and start an investigation. I had actually intended to do that earlier, but haven’t had a chance to speak with you."

Julia thought for a moment. She admitted she was happy where she was, but what would happen once she was finished with the house? Where would she go, what would she do? What if she had a family somewhere who was worried about her? Yes, she needed to know who she really was, and where she’d come from. Even if that meant finding out how she'd gotten her scars. The thought terrified her, but she pushed her fear aside. She had to know.

"I’d like that."

"I’ll get started on it right away. Tell me, do you still not remember anything? It might help speed things along if you can give me any information."

Julia had only one memory and that was of how her arm had been broken. She hadn’t thought about it in quite a while, and decided she didn’t need to mention it now. She hadn’t been able to see the face of the man who’d done it, so she didn’t figure there could be any important information that Jarrod could use.

"No, I don’t remember anything. Thank you for your help."

Julia left the study then and Jarrod leaned back in his chair. He was certain she had just lied to him and he wondered why. That look of fear that he’d seen in his office so many weeks ago briefly appeared on her face. Then the words of his mother came back to him.

"What if we bring the very people here who hurt her?"

Jarrod sighed. He hoped his investigation would reveal a loving family somewhere for Julia and not the people who had hurt her. And for Nick’s sake, he hoped it wouldn’t include a husband.

Julia did not mention her conversation with Jarrod to Nick, knowing he wouldn’t want to hear about it anyway. She hadn’t meant to go behind his back, and in fact, hadn’t felt she done that at all. But a few days later when Nick came to see her, she could tell he was not happy. He sat beside her, but most of his answers to her questions about his day had been short. She thought maybe he was tired or had a rough day. His next words let her know that what had put him in a foul mood had nothing to do with the ranch.

"Jarrod asked me to let you know he’d contacted Pinkerton’s."

"Thank you. I take it you aren’t happy about that?" she asked, watching his reaction.

"Why didn’t you tell me you’d asked him?"

"I just didn’t think about it, I guess. Why does it make you so upset that I did?"

Nick ran his hand through his hair, frustrated with Julia and himself. He hadn’t counted on her asking for Jarrod’s help. He’d hoped his older brother had forgotten about his investigation and indeed he had because of how busy he’d been. But Julia had been the one to remind him. He was afraid that Jarrod would find the very people who’d made her afraid and that they would come and take her away from him.

"Because I care for you, Julia," Nick said softly. She stared into his hazel eyes, in awe that he would have these feelings for her.

"Nick, I don’t even know my own name or who I am, or anything about my past. How can you say you care for me? I could be married, I could be a murderer or a thief or a saloon girl-"

He cut her off by saying, "I know you as Julia and that’s all that matters to me. I’ve seen you be gentle, kind, giving, loving. Whatever you were in your past, it doesn’t matter to me. You do."

Julia could tell that he meant every word. She knew she was beginning to care for him too, but something was holding her back. And it was the fact that she didn’t know who she was. She was so afraid of hurting him that she was willing to deny her own feelings for him.

"I’m afraid, Nick," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked, his voice equally as soft.

"I’m afraid I’ll never remember who I am. And then again, I’m afraid I will remember and I have to wonder what that will mean to us. I didn’t mean to go behind your back when I asked Jarrod to help me. But whenever I brought it up to you, you didn’t want to talk about it."

Julia stood and leaned against the porch railing. She stared out at the night, feeling so confused. Nick walked up and stood beside her. He knew she was right. A part of him didn’t ever want them to find out about her past. He could still see her as she cowered in the corner after the incident with Harvey. The fear he’d seen tore his heart out. He reached over and took her hand. He hoped she would not be frightened by his touch but he needed this physical contact. She seemed to understand and leaned on his shoulder. The two stood together quietly for a time. Finally, Nick spoke.

"I’m sorry, Julia. I’m sorry for letting my feelings get in the way of what’s right. I just....We don’t know what happened to you in the past. Who made you so afraid and why. I can’t stand the thought of someone doing that to you again."

Julia turned to him. She felt safe when she was with Nick. She knew he would protect her. The trust she had for him was clearly written on her face. He squeezed her hand and sighed with contentment when he felt her squeeze his back.

Chapter 10

As the weeks went by, Julia became more and more comfortable around other people. She felt the most at ease with Victoria, Audra and especially Nick. Jarrod and Heath could still make her nervous sometimes, but she was beginning to relax around them as well. She had come to dinner a few times and loved watching the family interact with each other. Julia was beginning to realized that Nick’s brothers were just as gentle as he was, and that she had no reason to fear them.

Ever so slowly, Julia and Nick became closer. The family noticed how their normally fast moving brother was content to just sit back and let things happen naturally. He was still the same boisterous Nick they all knew and loved, but with Julia, he was as gentle and patient as with a new born colt.

Julia agreed to Nick's idea of taking her into town for dinner on a Saturday evening. The thought of being in town and around men she didn’t know terrified her. She was nervous, so much so that she felt she would be ill before he came to pick her up. After three trips to the water closet, Julia felt she finally had her emotions under control. Until she saw Nick.

She thought he was handsome in his black leather, but seeing his skin looking so tanned against a crisp white shirt, his long legs clad in black pants and the tender look in his hazel eyes, Julia thought she might need to excuse herself again. Nick, for his part, found Julia absolutely breathtaking in a dark blue dress that brought out the color of her eyes and fit her perfectly. Both took a deep breath and walked to the buggy.

The trip to town was made in quiet conversation. Nick could sense Julia’s nervousness and he hoped to be able to help her relax. But the closer they got to town, the more tense Julia became. She wasn’t sure she could do this. She swallowed involuntarily, her hand reaching out to find Nick’s. She wasn’t aware of doing it or how tightly she held his hand and when he looked over at her, Nick noticed how pale her expression was. He was ready to turn back and take her home when she turned to him and he saw the change in her face.

Julia knew that eventually, she was going to have to overcome her fear. It had held her captive since she had awakened at Dr. Merar’s. Sometimes, the fear was so overwhelming it took all of her self control not to cower in a corner and weep. She turned to Nick, who was watching her closely, and realized he would not let any harm come to her. She trusted him. Completely. She smiled at him and he returned the smile. Her death grip on his hand loosened and he winked at her, causing her to blush prettily.

They stopped in front of the Cattleman’s Club and Nick helped her down from the buggy. They were given a table that was over in a corner, allowing them some privacy. The meal was delicious and Julia was thankful she’d made the decision to come.

After dinner, they decided to go for a short walk. Julia sighed with contentment, her arm safely tucked in Nick’s. As they walked along, both noticed the stage pulling into town. It was later than usual and the weary passengers disembarked, thankful to finally be at their destination. One man stepped down and dusted off his clothes. He detested how dirty he was and couldn’t wait to get to his hotel room and bathe. Then he would see what sort of entertainment Stockton had to offer. The last several towns had been smaller and the pickings slim. It irritated him and he hoped his mission would soon be completed.

He had just picked up his bag and turned toward the hotel when he spotted her. His eyes widened and he couldn’t believe his good fortune. He was sure it had to be her and he dug around in his pocket until he found the drawing he’d been given. Finally, he thought to himself. He looked up and down the street and saw the telegram office. It was closed, but that was fine. Now that he knew where she was, he could spend his night enjoying himself and then he would send word in the morning. He could then go home and his mouth watered at how he would be rewarded. He decided he would just check in to the hotel and then go straight to the saloon. He’d worry about bathing later. Now was the time to celebrate.

The Barkley’s had gathered for a picnic near the lake. Jarrod would be leaving on Monday for San Francisco and would be gone for several weeks. Word had come that the train would be up and running again in time for the Independence Day celebration, but Jarrod was sure he wouldn’t be able to make it back before then.

There was much laughter and a good time was had by all. Julia joined in with all the activities and each family member was amazed at how different she was from when she’d first come to Stockton. Men she didn’t know still put her on edge, but around Nick, Jarrod and Heath, she was completely relaxed. So much so that when Jarrod informed her he’d heard back from Pinkerton’s but they had not been able to find out any information about her, she smiled and placed a hand on his arm, thanking him for his efforts.

"Maybe something will turn up later. Thank you for trying, Jarrod."

Nick called to her then and she walked toward him. Jarrod watched as the two walked away, hand in hand. Victoria came to stand beside her oldest son and he put his arm around her shoulders.

"She’s changed so much," Jarrod commented.

"Yes. She’s not the timid girl we knew a few months ago. I can tell she still struggles if there are men around she doesn’t know, but she isn’t as afraid anymore."

Jarrod thought for a few minutes before speaking again.

"I wonder what made her so afraid?"

Jarrod felt his mother stiffen beside him.

"I don’t know. And I hope we never find out."

Chapter 11

The day of the Independence Celebration dawned clear and bright. Julia rose early and prepared some food to take along for the pot-luck dinner. Victoria had told her they would be bringing plenty and not to bother, but Julia wanted to help in some way.

Scrap meowed, wanting to go outside and Julia opened the door. He ran off, probably after some field mouse, Julia assumed. She wouldn’t see him again until nightfall, but she didn’t worry. He enjoyed being outdoors and always came back.

Julia packed up her food and then went to hitch Patty to the buggy. She was going to drive to the ranch and then ride into town with the Barkleys. Audra had told her how much fun these celebrations were and even told her how Nick and Heath had wrestled one another one year. Julia was pleased, but not surprised, to hear that Nick had been the victor. There was also a horse race that both Nick and Heath had entered, as well as a parade. Julia was excited and had to make sure she didn’t hurry Patty along too much or she would get to the ranch too early.

She arrived and was greeted cheerfully by Ciego. Nick had heard the buggy and came out from the barn to meet her.

"Good morning!" he said, his smile wide, showing a row of even white teeth. Julia returned his smile, looking forward to spending the day with him.

"The rest of the family should be ready soon," Nick said, standing so closely to her. Julia was having trouble with forming a coherent thought. She loved it when Nick wore his black leather and had to tell herself to say something or he would begin to think something was wrong.

"That’s nice," she said, looking into his hazel eyes. She felt incapable of saying anything else and he was apparently feeling the same way. For long moments they stared at one another, until Heath’s voice brought them both back to reality.

"Mother and Audra are ready to go," he called to them. Nick turned around and waved to Heath, telling him they’d be right there. He turned back to Julia and winked at her, held out his arm for her to take, and escorted her to the surrey.

When they reached Stockton, the crowd was gathered at the train station, awaiting the incoming train. There was going to be much fanfare and the mayor was going to make a speech. A cheer went up when the whistle was heard, for although Stockton had not suffered a great deal by the train’s absence, it had been more difficult to get supplies in or out of the town, not to mention the aggravation of having to take the stage instead of the faster moving train.

No one paid much attention to those who disembarked so no one noticed the way his eyes scanned the crowd, looking for her. He was sure she was still there because of what his man had reported. Robertson had made discreet inquiries and found out that she had no remembrances of her past. He was about to give up, thinking that perhaps she had not come into town when he spotted her. She was standing toward the back in a small group. She was just as beautiful as she had been the last time he’d seen her. He sagged with relief at the sight of her.

He debated about his next move, knowing he needed to be careful. He didn’t want the shock to be too much for her, but he knew he needed to make himself known to her soon. He hoped he could make her feel safe enough to come back with him. He decided to check into the hotel and then he would find her again. He thought he could hear her laugh and turned to look at her again. It was then that he noticed the tall cowboy standing near her. He raised an eyebrow, but reminded himself she didn’t remember who she was. He pushed down any thoughts of jealousy and walked down the street.

Julia watched the horse race and cheered Nick and Coco on. She and Audra held hands as the riders crossed the finish line. As always, the main competitors were Nick and Heath. Heath had won last year, but Nick was the champion this year. Julia was so proud of him that she could burst. She was moving forward to congratulate him when a hand reached and gently grabbed her arm. She turned slightly, thinking perhaps it was Audra, but a man stood there. His brown eyes held hers and she knew him. She didn’t know how, but she knew him.

Nick had seen the stranger approach and was determined to get to Julia’s side as soon as possible. He hoped sincerely that Julia wouldn’t be too frightened. He lost sight of her in the crowd for just a moment and he panicked. He sighed with relief when he saw that they hadn’t moved. He walked up beside her and was glad to see that the man had taken his hand off of her.

"Julia?" he questioned. She turned at the sound of his voice and Nick saw not fear, but confusion on her face.

"What’s wrong?" he asked and then he looked over at the man who was watching them carefully.

"This is Albert Barthelomy. He says he’s my husband, Nick."

Chapter 12

Nick felt as if someone had kicked him in the stomach. He looked from Julia to Mr. Barthelomy and then back to Julia again. Her face showed her distress and puzzlement and Nick knew they needed to go somewhere more private. Plus, he wanted to question this man, thoroughly.

Heath had come to stand beside him, as had Victoria and Audra. They had heard Julia’s statement to Nick and wore the same stunned expressions on their faces. Victoria was the first to recover and spoke.

"I’m Victoria Barkley. These are my sons, Nick and Heath, my daughter, Audra. Why don’t we find someplace more private to talk," Victoria said. She looked around and noticed they were standing in front of Burt and Elaine Jason’s store. She knew they had some rooms in the back that would allow them the privacy they needed and she knew that she could trust Elaine to keep whatever was overheard to herself.

Elaine was more than happy to allow them to use their private quarters. She and Burt stepped out and put the closed sign in their store window. They’d lose some money by closing up, but that didn’t matter to them. Victoria was a dear friend and Elaine would do whatever she could to help.

Heath and Audra remained outside, while the rest walked to the back of the store. Julia looked pale, and she kept her distance from both Nick and Albert. Victoria herself was not doing well, since she wondered if the man standing before her was the one to cause the fear inside this young woman who had become like a daughter to her.

"Well, Mr. Barthelomy. Why don’t we all sit down and you can tell us about how you know Julia," Victoria said. Victoria put her hand on Julia’s shoulder and the two women sat down. Albert sat across from Julia, but Nick took his place behind her, his legs spread wide, arms folded across his chest. He stared into the face of this stranger, watching him closely.

"Julia?" Barthelomy questioned. He then realized that she didn’t remember her real name. "Oh, of course. I’m sorry. You don’t remember your real name do you? Or me?"

He asked, a hopefulness in his voice. Julia shook her head silently. She realized she was being rude and said, "What is my real name?"

"Stephanie. Stephanie Maria Antose Barthelomy."

Julia’s eyes widened. What a name, she thought. She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say next. She could feel Nick’s presence behind her and wondered what he was thinking. What questions should she ask? How should she proceed? Thankfully, Victoria took charge and the younger woman almost sagged in relief.

"Mr. Barthelomy, you’ll understand if we are a bit hesitant to believe your claim of being Julia’s.....I mean Stephanie’s husband. Do you have any proof that would validate your claim?" Victoria, not for the first time in the last few minutes, wished that Jarrod were there. They were all feeling overwhelmed at the moment. She chanced a glance at Nick, who looked ready to tear Mr. Barthelomy in half.

"Of course, I understand," he said and reached inside his jacket. Nick tensed, and the man shifted his gaze to him.

"I assure you I’m not about to pull a weapon, Mr. Barkley."

Nick didn’t say anything but continued to stare at the other man. He watched as he pulled a watch from his pocket and opened it. He handed it over to Julia, er....Stephanie. He heard her soft gasp as she looked at the picture and he moved a little so that he could see it too. It was her alright. Still, did that really mean she was his wife?

Victoria too wasn’t convinced and Albert could tell. He pulled from his pocket a piece of paper. He had hoped the picture would be enough, but he could tell now that these people really cared for Stephanie and he would have to show them undeniable proof that she was his. He slid the paper over to Stephanie and she unfolded it. It was a marriage license from New Orleans, Louisiana and the name Stephanie Maria Antose was signed at the bottom.

"If you have a piece of paper, you could sign your name and see that the signatures match."

She glanced over at Victoria and the other woman nodded. Surely if the signature on the license matched the one she wrote out, that would be proof enough. Wouldn’t it? Victoria walked over to the small desk that was sitting in the corner of the room. She took out a piece of paper, pen and inkwell and brought it back over to the table. As Julia wrote out the name, Victoria looked at the license. It seemed authentic enough to her, but she wasn’t sure. She looked over at Nick and knew her son was struggling with all that was happening.

Julia finished and then compared the two signatures. Nick and Victoria looked over her shoulder and Victoria heard Nick sigh. The signatures were an exact match.

"Well," Stephanie said. "I guess I am who you say I am."

Albert looked pleased. He reached out to touch Stephanie’s hand. She stiffened and pulled back. He looked puzzled and Stephanie felt badly for her reaction.

"I’m sorry. It’s just..."she stopped, taking a deep breath. "The scars," she whispered. "How did I get them?"

Nick looked at his mother in surprise. What scars is she talking about? was the question clearly etched on his face.

"Oh, Steph," Albert said, his voice soft and Nick couldn’t help but stiffen at the term of endearment. "I didn’t do that to you."

He stopped, trying to gather his thoughts. Nick looked about ready to explode and Victoria put a hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. He wanted to know what scars Julia was talking about.

"When you and I married, it wasn’t because we were in love with each other. I married you to take you away from your father. He is a cruel man. I’ve never understood why he hates you as he does. I was a business acquaintance and he invited me to spend a few days in your home. He treated your sister Alexandra with great care and affection, but he barely acknowledged your presence. One morning I was looking out the bedroom window. I could see your father as he beat you. I don’t know what offense he thought you’d committed, but I’d had enough. I took you from his home and married you so that I could protect you. At first, it was a marriage of convenience, but then it grew to so much more. We eventually began to love one another."

"So you’re saying my father is responsible?"

"Yes, I’m sorry."

Stephanie wasn’t sure what to make of the allegations. She had no memory of her father either.

"How did I get here?"

Albert took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked like he was trying to find the right words to say.

"Your father wrote to you often, asking for your forgiveness in the way that he treated you. Neither one of us believed him and I wouldn’t permit you to go and see him, at least not alone. Your sister was getting married and you were to be her matron of honor. You two are very close despite the way your father treated you. I couldn’t clear my schedule in time to take you, so with much trepidation, I allowed you to go alone and then I would be there in just a few days afterwards. When I got there, your father denied that you had arrived at all. I searched everywhere for you, darling. I hired men, which is how I eventually found you here. I was so distraught, Stephanie. I’m so relieved to have found you again."

He paused again and Nick was ready to throttle him if he didn’t hurry up with the explanation as to how Julia...Stephanie got out to California.

"I don’t have confirmation, your father has always been very good at covering his tracks. But I believe he held you captive in his home and then you were able to escape. The only thing I can think of was you were trying to get away from him and you knew he’d come looking for you at our home in St. Louis. So, to get as far from him as you could, you came West. We have a summer home in Monterey and I can only assume you went there to hide. But what I don’t know, is how you lost your memory."

"The train from San Francisco derailed and I was injured," she said simply and Nick was thankful she didn’t take as long to tell her story and Barthelomy did.

"Mr. Barthelomy-" she began, but was interrupted.

"Albert."

She nodded. "Albert. I need some time to think this through. Will you give me a few days?"

Albert clearly did not like that idea, but he understood and nodded. He stood up and looked at Stephanie, his brown eyes showing compassion.

"I’m registered at the Cattleman’s hotel. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. I’m just so thankful I finally found you."

With that he walked out the door, leaving the other three alone. They were all stunned at the turn of events and no one said anything for a few minutes. Finally, Stephanie broke the silence.

"I’m afraid I won’t be able to finish the work on the house, Mrs. Barkley," she said, softly.

"You’re going to go with him?!" Nick asked, incredulous.

"He’s my husband, Nick," she said softly, her voice a sharp contrast to Nick’s loud one.

Nick began pacing back and forth, the only sound were his spurs as they jingled. How could this be happening? he asked himself.

"Do you remember him at all, Jul...Stephanie?" Victoria said.

"He seems familiar to me."

"Does he frighten you?" Victoria asked, and Nick stopped his pacing to face Stephanie.

"No, at least, I didn’t feel frightened with him here."

Victoria nodded. She refused to look at Nick, knowing he was ready to snap. The best thing to do was to get every one home and try to sort through this. But first, Victoria was going to send a telegram to Jarrod. She hoped he would be able to make it home soon and help them figure out what to do.

They all rode home together and then Heath, Audra and Victoria went inside. Nick and Stephanie climbed into the buggy she’d used to come out to the ranch, Coco tied to the back. Neither said anything on the way to the small farm house. Both felt too overwhelmed to begin any conversation.

Once they were at the house, they sat on the porch together and when Nick tried to hold her hand, Stephanie pulled it back.

"I’m married, Nick. It isn’t right."

Nick sighed. He knew it wasn’t but he wanted to touch her.

"So you’re going to leave?" he asked.

"You don’t think I should?"

"He couldn’t keep you safe before. What if your father gets a hold of you again and does something worse?"

Stephanie sighed. "I don’t know, Nick. I’m so confused. I want to do the right thing, but no matter what I do, someone will be hurt and I hate that."

Nick had been in this situation before and he hated it now as much as he had then. He’d been interested in Layle Johnson and then later found out she was married. The only difference this time, Julia....Stephanie, had no idea she was married. Nick was so frustrated he didn’t know what to do. He hated feeling helpless. There had to be a solution to this problem.

"I should go in and begin packing, Nick. Thank you for bringing me home."

"Julia...."Nick closed his eyes. "Stephanie, wait. Wait just a few more days. Jarrod will be home and will help us figure this out."

"Nick, there isn’t anything to figure out. He’s my husband, that’s been proven. I need to go with him. What if the positions were reversed?"

"If I were your husband, you never would have been harmed again by your father," Nick said, his anger just under the surface.

Stephanie smiled softly.

"I do feel safe when I’m with you, Nick. But we both know what is the right thing to do. And that’s for me to go back to my husband."

Nick wanted to shout at her, but knew that, in the end, she was the one who had to make the decision. He stood up and put a hand on her face, looking deeply into her eyes. She stared back, wishing that things had turned out differently for them. She knew she was falling in love with Nick Barkley and now she was going to have to put him from her mind...and heart.

They didn’t say anything more to one another and Nick walked away. Stephanie went inside the house and readied for bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow and she had much to get done. She hated leaving the work unfinished at the house, but didn’t think Albert would want to stay or let her stay until it was completed.

Scrap jumped up on the bed and snuggled in beside her. She realized she wouldn’t be able to take the kitten with her and she wondered what she would do. She silently let the tears fall after trying to hold them in for so long. If she was honest with herself, she wanted to stay here, in Stockton. She wanted to be near Nick and his family. But it wasn’t right for her to abandon her marriage, even if she couldn’t remember it.

Continued…