by CamRose
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
During the day, the parlor in
the stately home maintained a certain formality, befitting the many guests
received there. However, in the
evening, the room took on a level of warmth and comfort that only a family
could bestow. This night, as embers
glowed softly in the fireplace, a chill settled over the room. However, the only response of the woman
sitting in the chair in front of the massive fireplace was to wrap her shawl
more tightly around her shoulders. In
the light of the oil lamp, she bent back to her work, and finished mending the
hole in the pair of pants she held on her lap.
Her needle moved surely and swiftly through the material, fingers
maneuvering the needle and thread with the skill of many years of practice.
There! Finished at
last! Sighing, she folded the pants and
placed them carefully on top of the growing pile of clothes in the basket to
her right, then sat back to survey her efforts. With luck, she would finish the rest of the clothes by tomorrow
night...that would make Audra very happy, Victoria thought to herself. While Audra was recuperating from
appendicitis, she had been unable to complete her task of cleaning and
repairing the clothes she had collected for the orphanage. Knowing how important her work for the
orphanage was to her, Victoria had taken it upon herself to finish Audra's
project for her.
But the truth of the matter was that to Victoria Barkley,
it wasn't work. Instead, it reminded
her of the many times she had sewn her own children’s clothes, sitting in the
exact same chair, while her husband Tom sat opposite to her, talking or reading
to her. The Barkleys hadn't always been wealthy. With four growing children to care for, (three of them boys!) and
a growing ranch as well, she and Tom had had little time to themselves. Late at night, after the children had gone
to bed and before the fire died out, had become their time.
Victoria had grown to cherish those times together. The
house would be still, except for the occasional patter of feet heading for the
water closet upstairs. She and Tom
would talk about matters great and small....topics as important as the future
of the ranch and the various business ventures Tom wanted to explore, or as
routine as the trouble Nicholas had gotten into that week. All the while,
Victoria would do her mending.
Sometimes, she crocheted instead, knowing how unexpectedly cold northern
California weather could get and how welcome a blanket could be. Afterwards, they would retire upstairs to
their room, checking on each of their children on their way to bed.
Thinking about Tom and their years together, Victoria
stood and moved to study the portrait of her late husband, that hung over the
fireplace. How proud he would have been
of their children, she reflected, had he survived the battle with the
railroad's hired guns. Audra was
growing into a beautiful, caring woman, sensitive to the needs of others less
fortunate and not succumbing to the whims of wealth, while Nick had moved
smoothly into the role of rancher, running the day to day functions of the
ranch, as Tom had always planned.
Eugene, the youngest, was also starting to find his niche in life and
the family, attending medical school and moving out finally into the world.
But he would have been especially proud of Jarrod, she
thought. After Tom had been killed, it
had fallen to Jarrod, as the oldest son, to fill the void his father's absence
had created in their family, shouldering responsibilities of both his family
and growing law career. For a long time
after her husband’s death, Victoria had leaned on Jarrod’s strength when she
couldn't find her own, and Jarrod had also responded in kind, seeking her out
and asking her advice more often as his responsibilities grew. As a result, their bond had grown into more
than just mother and son; Jarrod had even taken to calling her ‘Lovely Lady’ in
acknowledgement of the special relationship they shared. Under their guidance, the Barkley holdings
had grown, with Nick eventually taking over the running of the ranch, and the
family flourished, surpassing even Tom’s vision. Then, when Heath had shown up
on their doorstep claiming to be her husband’s illegitimate son, it was
Jarrod's acceptance of him after the gunfight at Semples' Ranch that had eased
the tension in Nick and the rest of the family, accelerating Heath’s acceptance
as a brother , as well as a Barkley.
All of this had led Victoria to believe that Jarrod was
secure in his role as head of the family; however, apparently, her belief had
been wrong. As the grandfather clock in
the foyer struck 10:00pm, Victoria looked at Tom's portrait one last time, and
then sat back down in her chair, reviewing in her mind the events of the
evening.
* * * * * * * *
Dinner had
been a quiet affair. With Eugene away at school, Jarrod working late again and
Audra confined to her bedroom, Victoria, Nick and Heath were the only family
members present for dinner. However, the quiet didn’t last long. After dinner
was over, Heath and Nick retired to the study to play billiards, and shortly
thereafter, Nick’s bellows could be heard in the hallway, interspersed with
occasional laughter from Heath.
Victoria
had been in the parlor and was about to go to the study when she saw Silas crossing
the hallway, heading toward the stairs and carrying a silver tray, laden with
covered dishes and a teapot.
“Silas!” She called out to him, causing him to
stop. The house-servant turned towards
her slowly as she approached him.
“Yes,
Ma’am,” he replied, dropping his head in a courteous nod and bowing slightly
toward Victoria.
“Yes,
Miz Barkley, it’s her supper.... Miss Audra asked me to bring it up later.”
Silas shifted the tray slightly, as if it was heavy to bear.
“Let me
have it, Silas; I’ll take it up to her.”
“Are you
sure, Ma’am?” Silas sounded doubtful, glancing up at the expanse of stairway,
and then back at Victoria.
“It’s no
trouble, Silas,” Victoria insisted. “I promised Audra I’d come up after dinner,
and it’s time you had yours,” she said, with a knowing smile.
Silas
smiled back gratefully, and carefully handing the tray to her, said, “Thank
you, Miz Barkley,” then turned back to the kitchen. Victoria watched him go, pleased that he didn’t object further. Silas had worked for the Barkleys for nearly
four decades, and over the years, she and Silas had reached a level in their
relationship where they understood each other very well, and had earned each
other’s respect.
Victoria
ascended the grand staircase, her steps sure and steady on the golden carpet as
she carried the tray. When she reached the top, she headed towards Audra’s
room. Stopping in front of the door, and balancing the tray carefully with her
left hand, she knocked and entered when Audra said “Come in!”
Audra
was propped up in her bed, surrounded by pillows and reading a book. In the
light of the oil lamp next to her bed, Victoria could see that Audra’s color
was significantly improved from when she had first come home from the hospital.
As Victoria entered the room, Audra looked up at her and put down the book she
was reading. Victoria smiled with
affection at her daughter, as she exclaimed, “Mother! I thought you were
Silas!”
“I know,
but I told Silas that I would bring you up your supper instead. May I stay, or
would you rather I return after you’ve eaten, Sweetheart?”
“Oh,
Mother, of course you may stay!” Audra’s face lit up at the prospect of
company.
Victoria
put the silver tray down on the table next to Audra’s bed, then placed a bed
tray over her lap and arranged the dishes of food upon it. Lastly, she poured
Audra a cup of tea from the teapot and set it next to her plate. Dr. Merar had
forbid Audra from drinking coffee while she was recovering from her illness,
but had encouraged chamomile tea with valerian, to help her relax. As Audra
uncovered her food and picked up her fork, Victoria sat on the side of her bed,
near her feet. She was glad to see that Audra was getting her appetite back,
for her bout with appendicitis had left her weak. It also didn’t help that
Audra hadn’t liked the food that was served in the hospital; she was so used to
the meals that Silas prepared for the family that the institutionalized food
hadn’t appealed to her at all.
For a
few minutes they chatted, about the progress Victoria was making with the
clothes for the orphans, and how Audra was feeling. Victoria frowned when she realized that Audra was picking at the
food on her plate, instead of eating, and was about to say something, when
Audra suddenly asked, “Mother, who’s downstairs? I heard voices.”
“It’s
Nick and Heath. They’re playing billiards.” Victoria saw Audra’s face fall, and
was puzzled by the reaction to her words.
“Why?” she asked.
“I
thought Jarrod might be downstairs too.”
Audra’s tone was subdued, wistful.
“Well,
he’s been working late, all this week, at the office. In fact, he sent word
home that he is going to be late again tonight.”
Audra
stared at her plate, then pushed it back and suddenly looked up at her.
“Mother, I think Jarrod is angry with me!”
* * * * * * * *
“What? Angry with you?” Victoria looked at her
daughter, mystified by the outburst from her. “Why would you think that?”
“Because he hasn’t been up to see me since I’ve
been home. I…I think he doesn’t want to
see me.”
Victoria shook her head. “Audra, that's a terrible thing to say! I told you, Jarrod's been very busy this week with his law
practice. He's had to stay late at the
office to catch up on his work, since he took time off to go to the county
fair.” But Audra was adamant.
“Mother, he can’t be that busy, and even if he was,
why couldn’t he find time to visit?
Both Nick and Heath have been up to see me, and they’re busy running the
ranch. Besides, Jarrod’s office usually
opens at 9:30 in the morning; if he wanted to, he could see me before he left
for work.”
“Well, he probably doesn’t want to disturb you,
Sweetheart; after all, you are still recuperating. And as I said, he’s been very busy at the office. I suppose he’s been leaving early.”
At this, Audra glanced at her in surprise. “You
suppose? You mean you don’t know that
for a fact? What case is he working
on?”
Victoria thought for a moment, and then spoke.
“Well, I'm not sure what case it is, because we haven't talked much...” Audra immediately interrupted her; “That's
because he's been avoiding you, too!”
Victoria started to protest, but then stopped as she
realized that Audra had a point; when had she last spoken to her oldest
son? He was usually gone by the time
she came downstairs in the morning, and was coming in well past the time she
usually went to bed. Her thoughts were
interrupted when Audra spoke again.
“I'm sorry, Mother...I didn't mean to make you think that Jarrod is
angry with you, too.” Her tone was
apologetic.
Victoria reached over and patted Audra’s arm. “You don't
have to apologize, Audra. I know he
isn't, but I think you may be right about one thing....he has not only been
avoiding you and me, but everyone.” She
stood, and crossing her arms, walked away from the bed; then she turned back to
look at Audra. “Do you have any idea
why?”
“I'm not sure...” Audra spoke doubtfully. “I think I said
something to him while I was sick on the train....but I can't remember
what!” Her voice dropped and she looked
down, away from Victoria’s gaze. “But I remember his face. Mother, he looked terrible, and
distressed. I think I told him
something that upset him, something I didn't mean to say.”
Audra looked so upset herself that Victoria sat back down
and reached over to take her hand. “Audra,
look at me.” Audra lifted her head and
with her other hand, Victoria tenderly brushed Audra’s hair away from her face.
“Sweetheart, no matter what you said to him, it wouldn't make Jarrod angry at
you enough to not to want to see you.
Your big brother isn't like that.
Whatever is going on, it has nothing to do with whatever you told
him.” She squeezed Audra’s hand firmly,
reassuringly.
“I hope so, Mother....”
Audra's voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I’ve really missed
him.”
* * * * * * * *
Victoria left Audra's room, replaying her conversation
with Audra over again in her head. Audra had been genuinely upset, which
disturbed Victoria greatly; it was all she could do to reassure her daughter
that she would get to the bottom of it all.
Moreover, she was worried about Jarrod as well, for it was
uncharacteristic of him to be acting this way, if indeed he was avoiding Audra
and the rest of the family. Her
firstborn took the responsibility of being ' big brother' very seriously, especially
with Audra, who was the only little sister he had. Since Jarrod wasn't there, she couldn't take it up with him. But she was determined to find answers, so
she headed for the study.
* * * * * * * *
Victoria entered the study, expecting to see both Nick and
Heath. To her surprise, Heath was in
there alone, putting away the billiard cues.
He turned as she entered, favoring her with the lopsided smile she had
come to know and love so well.
“Mother.” He came to her and she gave him a quick hug,
then let go. “Where's Nick?” she asked,
looking about expectantly.
Heath shrugged. “You just missed him. Duke came in a few
minutes ago; one of the new mares is foaling, but the foal is breeching, so
Nick went out to help.” At Victoria's look of consternation, he added, “Is it
important? Do you want me to go out and
get him for you?”
“No, Heath.”
Victoria shook her head. “I can talk with him later. Actually, I'd like to speak with you, if you
have a moment.”
“Mother, I'm all yours.”
Victoria smiled at this, secretly pleased with the sentiment, and took
the arm that he offered her. “Where would you like to talk?” he asked as they
exited the study.
“The parlor, I think, Heath.”
Arm in arm, they crossed the wide hallway to the main
parlor, past the archway and into the large room, with its comfortable, padded
armchairs and settee. A fire burned
steadily in the fireplace, warming the room to a comfortable level. Heath released her arm as she indicated
where she wanted to sit, in the chair closest to the fireplace, and then headed
for the table nearby, which held a decanter and ruby colored glasses.
“Would you like a sherry, Mother?” He asked politely,
reaching for the decanter.
“No thank you, Heath.”
She shook her head.
“Then I think I'll pass too,” he said, dropping his arm
and returning to the chair opposite to hers.
Victoria waited for him to get settled, then began. “Heath, I just had a conversation with
Audra, and....” She stopped when Heath put out his hand, forestalling her. He leaned forward in his chair, rested his
arms on his knees and stared down at his feet.
Then he looked up at her intently.
“This is about Jarrod, isn't it?”
Quietly amazed, Victoria slowly nodded her head. Heath reminded her so much of her late
husband, Tom, that it sometimes astonished her. He not only shared certain aspects of Tom's physical appearance,
such as his clear, blue eyes, but Tom had also had the uncanny ability to sense
where Victoria was going in their conversations. She was reminded yet again of how lucky they all were that Heath
had chosen to seek them out on that fateful day, to claim his inheritance and
become a member of their family.
“Heath, Audra thinks that Jarrod is avoiding her, that he
is upset by something that she said or did while she was sick, on the
train.” To her surprise, Heath
nodded. “She doesn't remember much of
what happened, but you were there, as well as Nick.” Her fair-haired son nodded
again, so she continued. “Do you
remember anything that might explain why Jarrod would be avoiding her...as well
as the rest of us?”
Heath sighed and leaned back in the chair, considering,
and then quietly said, “I wondered when someone else would notice about
Jarrod.....I kinda hoped it wouldn't be Audra.” He frowned. “Mother, I need to
know… Are you goin’ to tell Jarrod about our talk?”
“No, not if you don't want me too,” Victoria reassured
him. “I just want to find out what's going on, and how to correct it. It's not good for Audra, you know, to be
upset this way, while she's recuperating.”
She didn't need to add that when her children were hurting, she hurt
also.
“Mother, how much do you know about that day?” Heath leaned forward again, staring at her
intently.
“Well, I know that Audra was in pain and delirious, that
the doctor had had to keep her sedated and calm so that her appendix wouldn't
rupture, and that he waited as long as he could, before he operated....”
“And...?” Heath prompted.
“And that the operation was successful, but the doctor was
worried about infection, so Jarrod had her taken to the hospital.”
“What else do you know about the operation?” Heath pressed on.
“That's all I know, Heath.” Victoria gazed at him steadily.
“Is there more to it than that?”
“Mother,” Heath spoke carefully, “did you know that Jarrod
helped with the operation?”
Victoria looked at him, stunned. “No, no one told me that.
Not even Jarrod!”
“Well, he did. The
doctor told Jarrod to stay with him, to help when it was time. Boy-howdy, I was never so glad in my life
that he didn't make me do it!” Heath's
relief reflected in his voice, making Victoria smile briefly. But she grew serious again as she considered
this new information.
* * * * * * * *
Flames danced in the fireplace, as Victoria and Heath sat
together in silence, one remembering while the other was lost in thought. Finally, Heath spoke.
“Mother, what are you thinking?”
Instead of replying to his question, she asked her
own. “Heath, why don't you want Jarrod
to know that we talked about this?”
“Because Jarrod asked both Nick an’ me not to tell anyone
about the details of Audra's operation on the train. He said he didn't want her worryin’ without reason and said he'd
tell both of you himself.”
Victoria sighed.
“Obviously, he didn't, or at least he hasn't yet. Now, I have to wonder
if he ever meant to.”
At Heath’s worried look, she added, “Don't worry, Heath; I
won't tell him about our talk, and you haven't gotten him in trouble. He's managed to do that all by
himself.” Heath caught the inflection
in her voice and recognized it immediately; he had heard it often enough from
his own Mama while he was growing up.
Suddenly, he was glad not to be in his lawyer-brother’s shoes.
Victoria started to rise from her chair, but Heath stopped
her with a hand on her arm. “Mother, wait.....” He cleared his throat nervously. “I'm not much for puttin’ the
right words together; that's more of Jarrod's line,” he said with a slight,
deprecating smile, “but I know that Jarrod would take hurt on himself before
he'd ever allow Audra to be hurt by anyone or anything. It was hard for all of us, seein' her like
that on the train, but it was especially hard on Jarrod....an’ Jarrod, well, he
tends to blame himself for things he ought not to.” He paused. “You know that Nick an’ Eugene call him ‘Pappy’? Well, that's fine for them....but I
don't. I figure, a name like that
carries a lot of responsibility. Maybe Jarrod had to act like....Father, for
them, after he was killed. An’ I guess
that that's how Audra sees him too. But
Jarrod doesn't have to be that for me...I like him fine, just as a brother
“Thank you, Heath,” Victoria said quietly. “I’ll think about what you said before I
speak to Jarrod...and I don't think even he could have said it more
eloquently.”
* * * * * * * *
The chimes of the grandfather clock in the hallway woke
Victoria from a light doze. She
listened, then checked the time....11:00 p.m.! The fire in the grate had gone out completely. Chilled, Victoria pulled her shawl more
tightly around her shoulders and briskly rubbed her arms to restore the
circulation. A quick glance at the
table in the hall showed no hat or folder; Jarrod hadn't come in yet.
Victoria sat up and re-reviewed what she had found out so
far, organizing her thoughts. Unfortunately, Nick hadn’t been able to add much
to Heath’s account; he had been preoccupied with keeping an eye on the men who
had followed the doctor and boarded the train, bent on revenge. She tried to decide what course of action
she should take; should she continue to wait up for Jarrod, or go up to bed and
try to catch her errant son in the morning?
As she pondered her next move, she heard the key turning in the front
door.
* * * * * * * *
Jarrod slipped through the door and quietly closed it
behind him, locking it securely. He
turned, and was startled to see light coming from the parlor. Apparently, it had been left on for him,
although it was foolhardy to keep an oil lamp lit in an empty room. This was
California, after all, and an earthquake could occur at any time. Vexed and tired from his ride, he crossed
the hallway to the parlor, only to be brought up short by the sight of his
mother sitting there.
“Mother? What are
you doing up? Is everything alright?”
Victoria studied her oldest son. He had dark circles under his eyes and a weary set to his
shoulders; fatigue was etched into his features. His eyes, normally a brilliant blue, were glazed, as if he'd
hadn't been sleeping. As she
scrutinized him, she saw his backbone stiffen when he realized she was sizing
him up, and the glazed look was replaced by one of wariness.
“Mother.” It was
not a question this time, and she knew she would have to be careful, since his
defenses were up.
“Jarrod," she acknowledged. "I’ve been waiting for you to come home, so I could speak to
you about Audra.”
“Audra? Is she
alright?” The wariness in his eyes gave
way immediately to concern.
“Oh, physically, she's doing much better....Dr. Merar said
that she can come downstairs starting tomorrow.”
Jarrod let out a sigh of relief, but didn't budge. “Well, that's good to hear...now if you'll
excuse me, Mother, it's late and it's been a long day.” He turned towards the stairs.
“Wait a minute, Jarrod.”
Her voice stopped him in his tracks.
“I said physically she was doing better. I'd like to talk to you about her mental status.” Victoria
waited, gauging his reaction.
Jarrod stood stock still, and for a moment, Victoria
feared he wouldn't respond. Then, with
a resigned air, he turned back towards her, and carefully put his hat and
leather folder down. She indicated the chair opposite her, and he sat down
slowly in it.
Unsure how to proceed, she sent up a silent prayer; ‘Tom,
please help me!’
* * * * * * * *
Jarrod spoke first, much to Victoria's relief. “Mother, are you sure this can't wait until
morning? I'll be able to give it my
full attention then.”
“No, Jarrod, it can't wait...,”she paused. “I can't trust that you'll be here in the
morning.”
His eyes widened as the shock of her words hit him, and
while his defenses were down, she pushed ahead. “Jarrod, what's going on?
Audra thinks that you’re angry with her and avoiding her....is that
true?” At the stricken look in his
eyes, she almost relented, but she knew that she couldn't stop now; she had to
get to the bottom of it, for all their sakes.
“Lovely Lady,” he began, but Victoria stopped him with a
gesture.
“Jarrod, I know that tactic; don't try to distract
me. I want to hear the truth….are you
avoiding her?”
He stood up quickly, and began to pace. “Mother, I am not angry at Audra, and I am
not avoiding her.....it's......I can't face her.” The last words came out in a rush. “Mother, it's complicated....and I don't know if I can explain it
to you.” Then, softly, “I'm not even
sure that I understand it.”
Victoria stood and went over to him, stopping his pacing
with a hand on his shoulder. Turning
him to face her, she cupped his face in her hands, meeting his anguished gaze
with her own. “Sweetheart, there isn't
anything that you can't tell me or explain to me. If I can help you I will; if I can't, then I'll find someone who
can. But I do know this...you can't go
on like this, for your sake and for Audra's.” Victoria held her breath.
He swallowed, and without removing her hands or letting
his eyes leave hers, he nodded his head slowly at her. “Alright, Mother...I'll tell you.”
* * * * * * * *
They were both sitting comfortably now; Jarrod slowly
swirling a glass of brandy, while Victoria sipped at her sherry, her eyes not
leaving her eldest son. Jarrod stared at the glass in his hand, as if he hoped
that swirling his drink would make words magically appear in the liquid;
Victoria just sat patiently and waited.
Suddenly, Jarrod spoke.
“Mother, do you remember the time Nick fell from the tree
and broke his arm? Or the time I had pneumonia?”
“Of course,” Victoria replied. “A mother never forgets when her children are ill or hurting.”
“How did you deal with it?” Jarrod leaned forward, still swirling his brandy, but now looking
directly at her.
“Well, first of all, I had help. If it hadn't been for Silas and his knowledge of herbs, I doubt
you'd be sitting here with me tonight.
As for Nick, well, your father rode all night long to locate Dr. Merar
and bring him back to the ranch.”
“But you didn't panic?”
Jarrod pressed.
“Well, with you, I might have, but your father was there
too. By the time Nick broke his arm, I
had plenty of experience dealing with small boys.” She smiled fondly at him.
Jarrod tilted his head and gave her a small smile, lifting
his glass in acknowledgment of their shared memories.. He took a sip of his
brandy, and then his expression grew serious again. “Mother, there's something
I have to tell you, about Audra's illness, and what happened on the train.”
Here it comes, Victoria thought, and waited.
“Mother, I panicked.
I couldn't help her and I couldn't make the decision to allow the doctor
to operate.” Jarrod looked down at his
glass again, misery etched into his face, and continued. “She was in so much pain...after a while,
not even the laudanum helped. I felt so
helpless.”
Victoria absorbed what her firstborn son said.....and
thought back to her conversation with Audra.
“Jarrod, Audra remembers a conversation with you, but not the
details. Only that you looked
upset.” Jarrod looked up at her,
meeting her gaze and nodded. “It
happened. At one point, I sat and
talked with her, trying to comfort her, but the only thing I could do was hold
her hand. She was hurting badly then,
but instead she tried to comfort me!”
“But what do you mean you couldn't decide to allow the
doctor to operate?”
Jarrod downed the last of his brandy, and then spoke. “Nick and Heath gave the actual
approval...all I could do was stand there, dumbstruck. Some 'Pappy' I am,” he said
disgustedly. “Then the doctor told me I
had to stay with him, to assist him with the operation. Mother, I was terrified, but I couldn't
look away; he cut into my sister and I was able to see what was causing Audra
to suffer.” He paused, lost in the visual memory, and Victoria could see the
anguish in his eyes. “Mother, I failed
her when she needed me the most.”
Victoria's heart went out to eldest son; he was obviously
suffering. And Heath had been right,
Jarrod was blaming himself needlessly.
* * * * * * * *
Victoria tried to suppress a chill, but Jarrod saw
it. He stood, immediately took off his
coat and wrapped it around her shoulders, suddenly aware of how cold the room
was.
Jarrod rested his hands on Victoria’s shoulders. “Mother, maybe we should continue this in
the morning,” he offered, but Victoria shook her head.
“No, we're going to finish it tonight...it's gone on long
enough.” She left her chair and drawing
him with her, sat down on the settee.
She put her arm around his waist, offering as well as taking comfort in
the simple gesture.
“Jarrod, you were right.
I don't completely understand, but I know this....you're not to blame
for what happened to Audra.” Ignoring
his skeptical look, she went on. “Why do you think you failed her?”
“Mother, in all the time I spent with her that day, I
never once noticed that she was in pain. How could I be her 'Pappy', and not
notice that? Fath.......” His voice trailed off suddenly, and in that
instant, Victoria had her answer. Her
grip tightened around Jarrod's waist.
“Sweetheart, when your father died, you assumed many
responsibilities, perhaps more than you should have borne….No, hear me out on
this.” Jarrod opened his mouth to reply, but then wisely shut it. “You were never directly asked, but we all
assumed that you would take over for your father. But Jarrod, you were never a replacement for your father. No one could ever replace him in any of our
hearts.” Jarrod’s eyes misted at
this. “Now, I know that your siblings
call you ‘Pappy’, with the exception of Heath.
But Sweetheart, they call you 'Pappy' out of affection and respect for
your abilities as an older brother and mentor, not because they see you as a
replacement for their father. The only
person who sees you that way is you.”
She pressed on, as hope and understanding dawned in his eyes. “Jarrod,
your brothers and sister have grown up, with your help; soon, they’ll have
families and homes of their own, and hopefully, you will as well. When that time comes, you’ll experience what
it REALLY means to be a father. And on
that point, I don't think even your father would have noticed Audra's
pain. In case you haven't noticed,
women are very good at hiding discomfort;
if Audra had wanted you to know about it, she would have told you, not
expected you to see it. So if anyone is
to blame, it's Audra.” Her voice went
gentle. “But, Jarrod, you are causing
her pain now, by not seeing her. She
needs her big brother.”
Jarrod was silent for a long time, then, kissing the top of
her head, said sincerely, “Thank you, Lovely Lady. I promise I'll see her first thing tomorrow morning. And have I told you how fortunate I feel to
have you as my mother? When I have
children of my own, I hope their mother will be as wise as you.”
* * * * * * * *
The next morning, Victoria sat down to breakfast with
Heath and Nick, and waited to see if they would be joined by her oldest
son. To her delight, both Jarrod and
Audra came through the doorway, Jarrod supporting Audra with one arm around her
waist and the other holding her hand firmly.
The radiant smile on Audra's face and sparkle in Jarrod's eyes confirmed
Victoria's hope that Jarrod had indeed, talked to his little sister and that
all was right between them again.
Someday, she hoped to hear from either what was said, but for now, she
would just bask in the knowledge that all was right with her children.
THE END