Requiem

by CamRose

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Howard Merar stepped out of the sick-room, pulling the door shut quietly behind him. Just as the door closed, he heard the quiet sob of the distraught mother as she sat by the bed of her stricken son. Too strong to cry in the presence of others, he knew his leaving the room would allow her to express the sorrow that had been building up inside of her throughout this most difficult day.

Before he left the sick-room, she had made him promise to delay sending her other children up to the room until she indicated it was time. There were some things that were too private to be shared when a cherished child was dying. As a longtime friend and caretaker for the family, he acquiesced to her request; it was the least he could do since his skills had failed to return her son to health. Try as he might, Howard was unable to stop the illness that had slowly stolen the strength and vitality of the man lying on the bed. At each turn and attempted remedy, the disease had mocked the healing skills of the good doctor, leaving Howard frustrated and at a loss. He had tried to hide his frustration from the stricken man’s family but ad failed even in this. The doctor saw the despair that warred with hope in the eyes of his patient’s mother and siblings, especially his two brothers.

Howard had always been able to save the children of this family from injury and disability before, and this young man in particular had been on the receiving end of his care often. He had always succeeded before in restoring the son to health, but this time he was to be denied. Death, his old foe, would win, and Howard would forever harbor the bitter taste of defeat. The doctor’s heart went out to the woman in the room he had just left and the siblings below, who were waiting for word on the condition of their beloved brother.

Steeling his resolve, he waited in the upstairs hallway, giving the mother time alone with her son as she requested.

* * * * * * * *

In the sick-room, Victoria Barkley sat by the bed of her dying son. Holding his hand, she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, noting the heat radiating against her lips. What little reserves of energy he had were fueling the fever that consumed his body. Reaching for the pan beside her, she pulled the facecloth out from the cool water, wrung it out and placed it against his check, offering what little comfort she could from the flames. She repeated this several times, all the while murmuring endearments to her son.

“Sweetheart, it’s Mother. I’m hear beside you……..I won’t leave you.” She stroked the sweat-soaked hair from her son’s forehead, with a light touch to avoid causing pain. Above all else, a mother should never cause pain to her child, she thought. With care, she took his large hand in her small one and held on with a grip that promised never to let go. Then she spoke again.

“Darling, I know you’ve been fighting to stay with us, and that you’re tired, very tired. I’m proud of you, and know your father would be proud of you too…..but, Sweetheart, it’s time for you to let go.” Her voice broke as she spoke the words.

“I’m selfish. I don’t want you to leave me or your brothers and sister, but I know your father is waiting for you behind the veil….Do you see it, Sweetheart, and him? He is going to be so happy to see you; he’s been waiting for a long time for you to join him.” She noted the change in her son’s breathing, an imperceptible slowing, and knew his time for passing was drawing near. She leaned down and spoke quietly into his ear.

“Son, there has never been a time that I was ashamed of you. You have been, and will always be, my pride and joy. It has been a privilege to be your mother, and I thank God that He has given us these years together. God willing, we will meet again in the great beyond, where there is no suffering or hardship, only peace, love and forgiveness….” For a moment, she couldn’t go on, her grief was so great. A lump arose in her throat as tears flowed freely down her face. She struggled to bring them under control, for her other children would be coming up soon to say goodbye to their dying brother. She knew she must appear strong for them.

Her son’s breathing quickened, and she realized that even in his near-death state, he was sensitive to her grief. With new-found strength, she calmed her emotions and went on.

“I promise you we’ll be all right. We will persevere, thanks to you. You have shown your siblings how to be strong in the face of adversity, and how to support and love each other. I promise you that they will never forget what you have taught them as long as any of us live.”

Her son sighed then, so softly that, for a moment, she thought she had imagined it. She knew it was time to tell Dr. Merar to send up the rest of the family. She rose and laid her hand on her son’s head, as if in benediction.

“Goodnight, dearest heart. May your rest be peaceful, and remember, I will always love you.”

Victoria Barkley made her way to the door and opened it. Howard Merar stood waiting patiently just beyond the doorway. She gave him a nod. Acknowledging her with an understanding look, he made his way down the stairs to summon the rest of the family. She made her way back to her son’s bed, and waited.