Journey into Darkness

Chapters 16-30

by catgirl63

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 16

Haggard looking could not begin to describe the face of the tall man entering the room of his brother. Walking over to the bed, he reached over and caressed the cheek of his comatose best friend and partner.

Exhausted hazel eyes ran over the sleeping blonde, examining the injuries for the second time that day. The bruising on the neck standing out in sharp contrast against the white sheets, straps lay across Heath’s chest and legs, holding the unaware man firmly to the bed. Dr. Stanton explained the straps were a precaution against unnecessary movement.

Nick knew if Heath were awake, the straps would seem like a prison to his active brother. A prison of immobility similar to when they first met. A prison that nearly drove the blonde man insane as he lay in the bed after his flight from the hotel window.

Brushing a hand through the blonde hair, Nick was relieved the swelling on Heath’s neck had finally abated. The physicians were no longer concerned the bruising would overtake the ability to draw in the oxygen needed to sustain life.

A regiment of ice cloths under the back was the medicine prescribed for the swelling. Each time Nick entered the room he hoped to be greeted by the sapphire eyes and lop-sided grin.

“Talk to your brother, Mr. Barkley. You may think he doesn’t hear you, but it’s been reported people in coma can hear everything around them. He’ll need to hear your voice to keep calm. When the swelling in his back has gone down considerably, we will bring him back to full consciousness. In the meantime, he needs your support as much as your other brother.” stated Dr. Stanton, the afternoon before when he walked Nick to Heath’s room for the first time.

The shock of seeing his brother lying still as a corpse rocked the strong man enormously and he had to hold onto the bedside table when his knees threatened to give out. A shaky hand reached out and tousled the blonde hair affectionately before he whispered in his brother’s ear.

Sleeping or resting with two of his brothers in their dire conditions was not a consideration in the mind of Nick. He wouldn’t rest until he could see a vast improvement in both of them. Exhausted and sighing loudly, Nick wrapped his fingers around the limp hand in the bed, his voice low and soothing.

“Hey, little brother. It’s me, Nick.” said Nick rolling his eyes at himself. “I know that was a stupid thing to say, you don’t have to tell me you already knew it was me.”

“Anyway, I wired Mother and Audra. Mother will move heaven and earth to get here as soon as she can. I also wired Hiriam in Virginia. I know he’d want to be here for you.”

“Mother’s not gonna be too happy when she finds out we didn’t wire her when Pappy was missing. I hope they wake you up soon, cause I may need you to protect me.” teased Nick quietly, keeping his eyes on the still face.

Nick squeezed the limp hand, “I could use your help, little brother. I’m scared to death. I feel so alone and I haven’t felt that way in a long time, not since Father died. Jarrod’s real bad.”

“I can’t help him, Heath. He don’t even realize it’s me! He’s hallucinating, screaming for help saying snakes and spiders are all around him.” stammered Nick, fear choking his voice. “Cursing up a storm one minute, talking about being alone the next, then cursing at whoever’s in his head or who he thinks he’s seeing. He’ll see people, then he sees spiders, scorpions. He thinks they’re crawling on him.”

“Dr. Blanton says it’s cause his body is missing the opium and going through withdrawals. Jesus, it’s the scariest thing I think I’ve ever seen. Then when he does fall asleep, he winds up screaming with nightmares. He shakes all the time, sweats like crazy.”

“The doc says we are almost through the worst but I don’t see any improvement, Heath. None! What the hell am I gonna do? How can I help him if he doesn’t know it’s me?”

“I can’t do it Heath. Not alone, I can’t.” sobbed Nick releasing the tears he’d been fighting to keep inside.

‘You can do it, twit brain!’

Startled Nick looked down towards his sleeping brother, his eyes wide and glistening with tears, the peaceful face still the same as when he walked in the room. Looking around the room, he shook his head at the voice which he knew had whispered in his ear.

Feeling a slight pressure on his hand, Nick wiped his eyes with his free hand.

Did he imagine the whisper? Did he imagine the slight squeeze on his hand?

Nick didn’t know but he felt himself regain some inner strength with the two gestures. Closing his eyes in prayer, he leaned over and placed a kiss on Heath’s forehead.

“Thanks, smart ass.” whispered Nick gratefully before squeezing the hand once more. “I’m gonna sit with Pappy and I’ll come back later.”

“I love you, Heath.” whispered Nick in Heath’s ear before leaving the room, his steps purposeful and determined.

Two days had passed, two days of a living nightmare which had plunged Jarrod into the depths of withdrawal hell.

Leaning against the wall outside Jarrod’s room, Nick bent over and gasped for air. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t watch the torment his brother was going through.

The pain in the light blue eyes stole his breath away, twisted his stomach in knots and had brought the strong powerful rancher to his knees several times in the past few days.

He fought for air in the hallway trying to keep his desperation at bay, seeking a way to gain more inner strength to help his brother in the battle for his life. The tears hovered just underneath his eyelids and he shook uncontrollably with barely suppressed emotion.

“Nick?” urged his Mother’s voice.

Looking into the gray loving eyes of his Mother, Nick Barkley, king of the valley collapsed in her arms and sobbed, his wounded heart and soul clear for Victoria to see in his eyes before the flood gates were opened.

Chapter 17

Spent and exhausted, Nick slowly lifted his head from his mother’s shoulder and swiped at his eyes with a shaky hand. The gray eyes filled with tears stared intently, seeing the evidence of exhaustion and fear on the tanned face of her lion hearted son.

Using her lace hanky, Victoria wiped the tears from his face as she’d done when he was a mere child. She didn’t release her arm from around his slim waist, her limb still feeling the shaking from the trembling of his emotional release.

“I’m sorry, Mother.” apologized Nick placing a kiss on her cheek before gently pulling her to her feet. “I didn’t mean to scare you by losing it.”

“Nick, anyone can see the concern you have in your eyes and on your face. Tell me what’s happened.” urged Victoria softly, pushing his unruly dark locks away from his eyes. “What’s happened to Jarrod and Heath?”

Greeting his uncle and sister, Nick stammered through the tale. The three newcomers listened carefully to the events of the nightmare bringing them to this place and sending the strong man into the emotional turmoil. The realization of the injuries affecting their loved ones, bringing tears of compassion to the three sets of eyes and a resolution of commitment to healing the two brothers, keeping them within the family fold.

Nick sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair. “Mother, only Heath and Jarrod know where Gene and the Jenkins family are. Heath wouldn’t tell me where he’d hid them.”

“Why not, Nick?” asked Audra.

“I’m not telling ya’, Nick. The less you know, the safer you’ll be. One missing brother is enough.” growled Nick imitating his younger brother causing Victoria and Audra to cover their mouths to stifle their giggles.

“He thought he was keeping me from harm.” sighed Nick, shaking his head. “That boy’s so stubborn.”

Smiling, Audra wrapped her arms around her big brother, “Heath would never forgive himself if anything happened to you, Nick. You mean so much to him.”

Raw emotions sprang back into the hazel eyes and he kissed the blonde mane before tightening his arms around her. “I know, honey. He means a lot to me, too.”

“Lets see Jarrod and then Heath.” said Victoria to her brother in law and daughter, standing by her side.

Pushing out of Audra’s arms, Nick voice rang down the hallway and he blocked the closed door with his body, “No! Mother! I don’t want you to see him like this.”

Pulling herself up to her full five foot four inches of height, the gray eyes flashed with disbelief before being replaced with firmness. “Nicholas Jonathan Barkley, you will move aside and I will see my son!”

“Mother, you don’t understand! It’s Jarrod but it’s not! Please don’t put yourself through this. Jarrod’ll be upset if he knows you saw him like this. Please, Mother.” pled Nick, his eyes wide with concern.

Victoria saw the anguish in Nick’s eyes and she placed a small hand on his arm, “Nick, I need to see my sons, both of them. We’re a family and they need to know we’re here, all of us. Maybe Jarrod won’t realize it now, but I know he’ll be able to feel us deep inside of him. He’s lost and we need to bring him back.”

“Mother, I..” hesitated Nick seeing the look in her eyes which said he was not going to stop her from seeing her first born.

Nodding slightly, Nick’s shoulders dropped in resignation and he moved away from the door. “It’s not going to be easy, Mother.”

Victoria placed a kiss on the tan cheek before holding her hand against it.

“Anything worth having is never easy, Nick. Our family has been tested many times in the past. We’ll be tested many times in the future. We have stood firm in the face of scandal and adversity. Because we’re a family, we have made it and we’ll continue to make it in the future. No matter what the future brings, we’ll handle it together. Together as a family.”

Holding her hand to his cheek, Nick took strength from the petite woman in front of him. Opening the door, he allowed the three to enter in front of him and followed them into the room.

Walking to the bed, the gasps of the three could be heard throughout the room. Audra’s eyes filled with tears and she latched onto her uncle’s arm, her eyes not leaving the man who’d been a brother and a father to her.

Crying silently, Victoria’s hand shook as it reached out towards the sweat drenched black hair, her eyes traveling down the length of her pale son strapped into his bed. Jarrod was asleep, his body shaking, his eyes moving rapidly beneath his eyelids. Remnants of the treatment he received at the hands of his captors were reflected on his face. Damage to his body revealed by the white bandages wrapped around his ribs, his wrists and head.

Caressing his cheek, her tears fell onto his face and she spoke clearly into his ears, “Jarrod, Mother’s here. I love you, son. Don’t let them beat you. Remember you’re a Barkley.”

Standing behind his mother, Nick put his large hands on her small quaking shoulders, squeezing slightly. Reaching up, Victoria welcomed the gesture and returned his love with a pat on his left hand.

Audra felt her legs moving to the side of the bed, her eyes wide with concern, reaching out to hold onto one of Jarrod’s, holding the larger hand and covering it with both of hers. “I’m here too, Jarrod. You have to fight, big brother. I know you can."

Walking back, Audra wrapped her arms around her mother and buried her face in her shoulder, stifling the cries which began to wrack her body.

Jim Barkley knelt by the bedside and reached up to squeeze his nephew’s shoulder. His voice, quiet and gentle, “You can do it, Jarrod. I know you can.”

Nick braced himself at the moan which came from his brother’s lips. His grip on his mother’s shoulder moved down to her arm and he pulled her closer to him. Victoria and Audra watched the eyelids flutter, the blue showing beneath the half-open lids looked around in confusion.

“Heath?”

Nick stepped closer to the bed at the moment of lucidity from his older brother whose eyes were fixed on their uncle. Seeing Nick open his mouth, Victoria grabbed his arm and shook her head.

Jim looked into the blue eyes and smiled slightly, “Jarrod.”

“Not dead?” said Jarrod, a small smile turning up his lips.

“No, I’m right here, big brother.” urged Jim calmly. “I’m fine.”

The smile faded when pain shot across the once handsome face and Jarrod was thrust back into the nightmare of withdrawal, screaming suddenly. “GET IT OFF! NO! GET IT OFF ME!”

Unsure of what to do, the older man suddenly pushed his hand across the area of the broad sweaty chest, the blue eyes were staring at and yelled, “Got it, Jarrod! I got it! It’s gone!”

The screaming stopped and he gasped for air before the light blue eyes closed in exhaustion, “Thanks.”

Nick and the others watched him fall back into sleep. Jim pulled himself to his feet and squeezed Jarrod’s shoulder before he wrapped his other shaken nephew in a strong bear hug.

“He’s strong, Nick. He’ll make it.” assured Jim quietly patting the strong back of the rancher. “Heath must be a real handsome man, huh?”

Chuckling, Nick nodded, “He sure is, Uncle Jim. He sure is.”

Chapter 18

Victoria and Audra left the room of Jarrod first, Nick followed but stopped when his uncle placed a hand on his arm.

Looking into the questioning hazel eyes, Jim asked, “Nick, after we see Heath you’ll get some rest, right?”

“I can’t Uncle Jim. Not til I know they’ll both be okay.” sighed Nick with a shake of his dark haired head. “Every time I close my eyes, well, it’s not a pretty picture.”

Placing an arm over the strong shoulders, the eldest Barkley smiled and propelled the man to the doorway.

“That’s because your brothers are part of your soul, Nick. These past days, you’ve doing everything you can for them. If you don’t rest, you’ll make yourself ill and I don’t think your mother needs to worry about you too. We’re here now to help. If you get sick, what do you think Jarrod and Heath’ll say about that when they come around?”

Nick could hear his brothers’ voices at his uncle’s question. The eldest would give a lecture about responsibility to himself as well as his family. The younger would grin and quietly say ‘it’s a good thing I’m the smart one in this partnership.’

Jim Barkley marveled at the fond remembrance and abundance of love in the hazel eyes. Nick’s face held a knowing smile at the information only he was privy to. Looking up into the blue eyes watching him, he nodded.

“Maybe for just a few hours, Uncle Jim.” agreed Nick hesitantly.

Smiling his pleasure, Jim nodded, “Good, Nick. A few hours will do you good, you’ll see.”

Walking towards the room where Heath lay, Nick felt a rush of anxiousness sweep through him. The feeling quickened his steps until he was running towards the room at the end of the hallway. Ignoring the calls of his mother, Nick burst into the room and stared at the two doctors and two nurses hovering over his little brother.

Dr. Stanton looked up when the door was flung open and nodded to a nurse.

“Mr. Barkley, you’ll have to leave now.” stated the nurse firmly pushing him out of the open door into the hallway, saying before she closed the door. “Dr. Stanton will be out shortly.”

“Nick, what is it?” cried Victoria grabbing onto his arm. “What’s happened?”

Shock caused his knees to shake. Nick fell back against the wall and looked at his mother, “I, uh, I don’t know. I just felt Heath suddenly needed me.”

Four sets of eyes turned simultaneously to stare at the closed door, wishing they could see past the flat piece of wood, fear stabbing into their hearts.

Audra’s voice quivered uncontrollably, “How was Heath when you saw him earlier, Nick?”

Covering his face with this hands, Nick shook his head, “I haven’t been to see Heath since yesterday.”

“Since yesterday?” exclaimed Audra, worry shining out of her eyes.

“Dammit, I couldn’t be in two places at once!” snapped Nick harshly. “I was with Jarrod!”

Tears sprang into the pale blue eyes and Audra grabbed onto her brother’s trembling hand, “Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like it sounded!”

“Of course, you didn’t Audra.” stated Victoria calmly seeing her pain reflected on her children’s faces. “We’re all worried and not thinking clearly.”

“I’m sorry, Audra.” whispered Nick drawing her to his chest. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Relishing in the comfort he offered and taking the strength she needed, Audra placed a gentle kiss on the whiskered cheek. “No, it’s my fault Nick. I’m just worried about Jarrod, Heath and you.”

“Me?” repeated Nick puzzled.

Nodding, Audra’s eyes shimmered with tears, “You look awful, Nick. You shouldn’t have had to handle everything alone. We should’ve been here for you.”

Sighing, Nick smiled “Honey, you didn’t know otherwise you’d have been here. Don’t worry about me. Uncle Jim made me promise to rest already and then I’ll be a new man.”

Jim smiled, “That’s right, Audra. We’re here now and Nick’s not alone.”

The conversation ceased and four minds wondered how much more time they’d have to wait. How much more time before they could glimpse the blonde they needed to see.

The door opened and Dr. Stanton closed it behind him. Introductions aside, the physician led them to a waiting room and sighed deeply.

“Mrs. Barkley, we have been keeping a close eye on Heath since he was admitted. His temperature was rising and falling since his admittance until yesterday when it started to climb. He is diaphoretic. That means he has excessive perspiration. Also, an increased heart rate.” paused the physician receiving nods of understanding before continuing.

“The trauma of the force exerted on his back and middle portion of his body was tremendous. In order to evaluate him properly to find the underlying cause of the elevated temperature, we discontinued his morphine to bring him to a higher state of consciousness.”

“What is causing his symptoms?” inquired Victoria, squeezing her son’s hand tightly.

“We’ve been able to determine from his decreased output and the flank pain he is experiencing, his kidneys have been bruised.” relayed the physician.

“What does that mean?” asked Jim. “Does Heath need surgery?”

“Not at this time, Mr. Barkley. Most cases of bruised kidneys heal on their own within seven to fourteen days with rest. However, in Heath’s case, because of the trauma his body received, we'll have to wait and see. I’m hoping we will not have to subject him to any type of surgery.” stated Dr. Stanton.

Taking a deep breath, Victoria requested, “How long before we know if Heath will need surgery, Dr. Stanton?”

“If he’s not improved within forty eight hours, we will have to make a determination at that time. Surgery is a last resort. Unfortunately, the bruising on your son’s abdomen makes it difficult to determine if he is losing blood internally. I believe he is not, but we need to consider the possibility he may be. A nurse will stay with him around the clock and monitor him constantly.” explained Dr. Stanton, wondering inside how much more a family could take before they succumbed to the pressure of the unknown and waiting.

“Do you have any questions?” inquired the physician quietly.

Shaking their heads, he could feel the fright, worry and concern emanating from all four people in front of him. Clearing his throat, he brought their eyes back to him and smiled slightly, "Would any of you like to see Heath and speak with him? He’s awake.”

“Yes!” exclaimed the four voices in unison, the hope on their faces lighting up the room.

Holding up his hand, Dr. Stanton smiled, “Heath may not be able to talk. He’s in a lot of pain from his back, throat and now his kidneys. He is still fuzzy from all the morphine but I think seeing you will bring clarity back to his eyes.”

“We understand, Dr. Stanton.” assured Victoria with a grand smile. “Thank you.”

Nodding, he returned the warmth in the smile and instructed, “One at a time for a few minutes only. Heath needs his rest.”

“Mother, you go in first.” stated Nick with Audra and Jim quickly agreeing and placing a kiss on her cheek before she followed the physician to the door. Stopping in front of the door, Victoria squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before entering.

Nodding to the nurse writing at the table she walked over and fought the tears which sprang into her eyes at the bruises on her blonde son’s face and neck, the straps holding him in place on the bed.

Bending over, she placed a tender kiss on his forehead and smiled into the confused blue eyes which greeted her.

“Hi, sweetheart.” whispered Victoria quietly.

Heath blinked his eyes and smiled when the face above him came into view. Fighting back the pain in his body, he moved his lips.

“Mama.” was the faint whisper, barely heard in the quiet room, the one word spoken at the expense of a great deal of pain.

Brushing her fingers through the wet blonde hair, her gray eyes beamed down into the sapphire eyes and she put her fingers on his lips, stopping them from moving again.

“Shush, Heath.” urged Victoria. “Plenty of time for talking later, sweetheart. You rest and get better, now.”

Nodding slightly, Heath closed his eyes and his face relaxed under his mama’s soft caress.

Chapter 19

Victoria felt the release of Heath into relaxation from the soft caress of her fingers on his face. Her eyes were drawn to his neck, the outline of fingers from two large hands were imprinted into his tan skin by bruises of deep purple.

She knew his one word whisper of acknowledgment was painful due to the bruising. But knowing her son, she had expected no less from him. He’d only been her son for almost two years and yet, some days it seemed she had actually given birth to him. He completed the Barkley family in a way no other could.

Heath always put aside his pain or discomforts to help the people he cared for. The love inside of this gentle man was a constant reminder of all that was right with the world. For one to have gone through so much as a child and an adult, he’d never let it get in the way of his need to aid his fellow human being.

Reluctantly, Victoria placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and left the room, allowing Audra to enter and walk slowly to the bed.

Blue eyes wide with sorrow and fear at the sight of her strapped down brother, filled with tears at the sight of the damage on his neck. Unconsciously, her hand reached up to her neck as if she felt the hands which sought to destroy her brother were now holding onto her creamy skin.

Shaking uncontrollably, Audra placed a kiss on his cheek and hurriedly left the room. Stepping into the hallway, she ran into her mother’s arms and cried hysterically at the condition of the brother who could be her twin.

Nick and Jim nodded when Victoria motioned with her head to the waiting room before leading her distraught daughter away.

“Uncle Jim, I better go in with you. If Heath wakes up and sees you, it might give him a heart attack or something.” teased Nick quietly.

Clapping his nephew on the shoulder, Jim smiled, “That’s probably best, Nick. Let’s go so you can introduce me to my nephew.”

Grinning, Nick entered with his uncle following on his heels. The curse from the older man only reaching Nick’s ears in the quiet room before Jim walked to the other side of the bed.

The large hand of the older man reached out and held onto Heath’s which was strapped onto the bed. Nick ran his fingers through the blonde hair and sighed deeply, his hazel eyes brimming with tears at the pain the pale face now reflected.

The pain which had been taken away when he was forced into oblivion by the morphine. The morphine which is made from the opium plant, the same plant responsible for the condition of their older brother.

‘The same plant, two different drugs, two different effects,’ Dr. Stanton had stated to the men before heading to his office. ‘Ironic, isn’t it?’

“Hey, smart ass.” whispered Nick, wiping the emotion from his eyes. “I brought someone to meet you.”

The beacon’s voice penetrated through the curtain of pain, the dark curtain lifted slowly and the light shone in. Nick grinned at the dazed blue orbs and tousled the blonde hair. The dazed look turned to happiness and then to remembrance.

Heath groaned in pain when he tried to speak, frustration tightened the muscles in his body. Shaking his head in frustration, Heath’s eyes rolled upwards before the lids closed, he gasped and clenched his jaw tightly. Nick held onto his brother’s shoulders and urged him to breathe calmly.

“Heath, slow breaths!” begged Nick, not liking the pain he was seeing. “Com’n, little brother!”

The nurse gently pulled Nick to the side and put her hands on the sides of the sweat drenched face, “MR. THOMSON! LOOK AT ME! NOW, MR. THOMSON!”

The lids lifted at the command and blue eyes tormented with pain found the brown eyes of the nurse, he recalled somewhat from before. Following her words of encouragement, Heath’s breathing slowed and his eyes slowly returned to normal. Wiping his face with a cloth, she smiled widely and nodded her approval.

“Not much longer gentlemen. Mr. Thomson needs his rest.” stated the nurse before heading back to the table.

Nick’s hazel eyes followed her and then turned back down to his brother. Heath was staring at the man standing on the left side of the bed, the disbelief in his face caused Nick to laugh.

“Heath, meet your Uncle Jim.”

Flashing a lop-sided grin, Jim squeezed his nephew’s hand, “Heath, it’s an honor to finally meet you. Now, I understand why Victoria said you were so handsome.”

Blue eyes twinkled and a grin flashed to the older man before they turned back to the hazel eyes. Heath motioned with his right hand and Nick saw the movement.

“You want to write?”

Nodding slightly, Heath winced at the pain of the movement before Nick asked and was handed a pencil and paper from the nurse. Putting the pencil in Heath’s hand, Nick waited for the scratching on the paper to stop. The exercise exhausted the blonde and he breathed deeply.

Nick scrunched up his face and tried to decipher the scrawled message. Handing the tablet to his uncle, Nick sighed, “Sorry, little brother. I can barely read your writing when you have full use of your hands.”

The blue eyes filled with fury and his lips moved, but no words were spoken. Nick’s keen eyes caught the anger and the silent word. “You keep talking like that and Mother’ll be washing your mouth out with soap.”

“Heath, does this G mean Gene?” asked Jim, seeing the excitement spring into the sapphire eyes.

“Where is Gene, Heath?” grilled Nick quickly before remembering his brother’s lack of communication skills at the moment. “Sorry bout that.”

Rolling his eyes, Heath sighed in frustration when Jim couldn’t figure out the rest. “I’m sorry, Heath. I can’t read the rest.”

“Nurse Thompson? Can we untie Heath’s right hand so he can write a quick message?” inquired Nick. “He’s the only one who can tell us where our other brother is.”

After more urging, the nurse unstrapped Heath’s right hand. “Only for a moment, Mr. Barkley.”

Nick held the paper over Heath’s stomach and the shaky hand wrote the message. Dropping the pencil, Heath closed his eyes and felt his arm being restrapped, not caring for the expulsion of energy the small movement stole from him.

Reading the words, Nick handed the tablet to Jim with a smile. Wiping the blonde’s face, Nick grinned into the weary eyes, “Thanks, little brother. I’ll take the trip myself.”

Smiling an exhausted grin, Heath mouthed their older brother’s name. Frowning, Nick explained Jarrod’s condition and watched a tear trickle out of the corner of the closed eyes before Heath drifted back into sleep, his breaths even in the quiet room.

Chapter 20

Adversity has always been a measure of a person, a measure of a man. Adversity is a trial of the inner strength found in each person. The testing of a person has been going on since the dawn of time. The test was before him and Jarrod Barkley’s clearer mind struggled with the path which lay before him.

The path thrust upon him by others, a path he’d never willingly taken. The path where the fingers of darkness threatened to grab him with their gnarled tentacles, reaching towards him and threatening to drag him back into the darkness of hell.

The scaly fingers of darkness diminished and the path made clearer by those rallying around him. Their presence held back the fingers reaching for him. Their presence cast light where there was only darkness before. Their presence urged him to continue in the light.

Their expectations were high. Their expectations for him no less than they would have held for themselves.

They demanded and he fought to comply with their wishes. They were beside him with every step and he resolved himself to keeping his steps firm and strong til he left the path of darkness behind.

Waking with clarity and clearness, he welcomed the realization the torment of loneliness and being forgotten was only part of the nightmare and not reality.

He succeeded and overcame the treatment he’d been subjected to by the twin sister of evil. He hadn’t broken, he was still whole. He could still look into the face of his brothers knowing he hadn’t compromised his inner self.

Jim Barkley helped his nephew to a sitting position on the bed. Jarrod’s limbs still shaking from the effects of the drug and his injuries. Jim Barkley’s pride and love for his nephew shone like a medal in his lined face.

“Thanks.” smiled Jarrod gratefully for the helpful hands. “Where’s everyone else?”

Lowering himself in the chair beside the bed, Jim answered, “Nick’s gone to see Gene and the Jenkins family with the district attorney. Victoria and Audra will be here after breakfast.”

Nodding, Jarrod sighed and play nervously with his fingers. It’d been a week since he first thought his uncle was his blonde brother. A week in which he’d even eventually come to know the price the blonde paid for a brother’s request. A request he carried out without argument because of his love for his brother.

Putting his hand over his eyes and holding his chest tight with his other arm, Jarrod fought to control his emotions. Emotions uncontrollable due to the struggle he’d been cast into on his path.

“Jarrod!” admonished his uncle firmly and softly at the guilt eating away at the family attorney, the guilt of placing his brother in harm’s way.

“God, I should never have involved Heath.” whispered Jarrod, his anguish quivering his words, making them almost indistinguishable.

Jim Barkley glanced at Dr. Ted Blanton who shook his head and frowned. Moving from his place in the doorway, the young physician examined his distraught patient in silence.

Dr. Blanton and Dr. Stanton had marveled between themselves at the bond between the three brothers. A bond one would think had been in place since their birth. Their surprise was evident in their faces when the men of medicine learned the bond started only a couple short years before.

Ted Blanton sat on the bed of his patient, his movement surprising both patient and relative. The unexpected gesture moved the hand away from Jarrod’s eyes.

“Jarrod until you come to realize you are not responsible for Heath’s condition, you are keeping open a door. This open door can yank you back into a dependency on the drug. The drug which will take away the pain you feel inside.” stated the physician clinically.

“I am responsible!” stammered Jarrod. “If I hadn’t asked Heath for his help or if I’d stayed at the mission, none of this would’ve happened. He wouldn’t be lying in bed not feeling his legs.”

“You are not responsible Jarrod.” snapped Jim, taking a breath to calm himself before continuing. “You’re no more responsible than I am. Things happen for a reason. You can’t stop rain from falling and you wouldn’t have been able to stop this.”

“As I’ve said before, we are unable to advise a final diagnosis of your brother’s condition at this time.” Ted saw the disbelief in the light colored eyes and suggested, “Since you don’t believe us, there’s only one thing left to do.”

Looking at the young face, Jarrod’s curiosity peaked and hope flared in his eyes, “Can I see him? Can I see my brother?”

“That’s exactly what the doctor was going to order.” smiled Ted.

Jim saw the hope and need flare in the blue eyes, “Let’s get you presentable for the occasion.”

Eagerness replaced the guilt and Jarrod agreed. Helping his nephew to dress and clean up while the physician obtained a wheelchair, Jarrod’s eagerness was slowly replaced with apprehension.

Placing a hand on his uncle’s arm, he looked up and swallowed the lump in his throat. “What if..” paused Jarrod unable to put his fears into words.

Drawing the younger man into his arms, the eldest Barkley rubbed the trembling man’s back and answered, “No what ifs now, nephew. That boy means a lot to you, a lot to everyone around him. Negative thinking is not what we need, Jarrod. He needs to know you’re there with him in every way, no matter what.”

Closing his eyes, Jarrod nodded and returned the strong hug, “I know, Uncle Jim. I’d do anything for him.”

Entering the room with the chair, Ted watched as Jarrod took three shaky steps and sat in the seat slowly. His ribs still bound, his body still weak from all he’d been through.

Jim took over the handles and pushed Jarrod down the long hallway to the room of Heath, his nephew, the man who was surrounded in a shroud of darkness of his own. a darkness of uncertainty. A darkness of unknowing.

A darkness the blonde fought fervently to keep at bay, to keep it from stealing away the hope and fight within him.

Ted waited for Jarrod to take several breaths before opening the door to the room. Jim pushed the chair to the bedside and Jarrod’s eyes released the tears inside of him at the pain on the blonde’s face.

Heath opened his eyes slowly and moved them to his right, his hand was grabbed hold off, blue eyes met blue eyes.

“Jesus! Pappy, you look like crap!” whispered Heath in concern at the face of his brother.

Chapter 21

“Heath!” gasped Jarrod before his body shook with sobs of relief, disbelief and love.

Ted motioned to the nurse to follow before taking hold of Jim’s arm, the three left the brothers alone. The inner healing for both men coming in the prescription of brotherly love and togetherness.

“Jarrod, don’t.” begged Heath, frustrated at not being able to wrap his arms around his tormented brother. “Please, Jarrod.”

The heartened plea reached through the sobs. Jarrod held his head in his hands for several minutes fighting for control of the torrent within him. Wiping the salt water droplets away from his eyes, he took several shaky breaths and grabbed hold of the strong hand again.

Heath stared into the blue eyes of his eldest brother. Jarrod’s face was gaunt, dark shadows under his eyes and the fading bruises, the only color. The sapphire eyes traveled over his brother slowly taking in the condition of the man.

Smiling with relief, Heath winked and drawled, “You look better than the last time I say ya’.”

Unable to control his laughter from escaping, Jarrod shook his head at this last gift from their father.

“Heath, you amaze me.”

“Why?” puzzled Heath quietly.

“Your concern for everyone around you over yourself.” admitted Jarrod with a slight smile before asking, “Aren’t you worried about yourself?”

A quick flare up of worry and doubt flashed in the eyes of the former marshal, before he pulled the shutters over them, not wanting to cause his older brother any more concern.

“Nah, this’ll give Nick a chance to see if he can get by without me on the ranch for a little while.” teased Heath watching the face beside him fill with emotion.

“I’m sorry, Heath. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.” whispered Jarrod, his eyes falling to the floor, his hands falling in his lap. “I never should have wired you for help.”

“If you hadn’t wired me that family would be dead now, Jarrod. Probably yourself, too!” replied Heath firmly, his words not raising the eyes of his oldest brother.

“The Ling Tong would have wiped them out and you for being Tad’s lawyer. You gave them a chance to live by wiring me. Could you have lived with their deaths on your hands?”

Jarrod snapped in frustration, “Are you gonna be that understanding if you can never walk again?”

“I COULD HAVE SHOT THAT MAN BUT DIDN’T CAUSE HE WAS UNARMED! IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!” shouted Heath, his eyes filling with tears. “I KNEW HOW DANGEROUS THE TONG WAS BUT I LET YOU COME BACK HERE! I SHOULD’VE MADE YOU STAY AT THE MISSION!”

“HEATH!” exclaimed Jarrod in disbelief, ashamed the sapphire eyes were filled with guilt. “I MADE THE CHOICE TO RETURN TO WORK! YOU HAD NO CONTROL OVER THAT!”

“Just stop it Jarrod. It happened, okay? DAMMIT!” retorted Heath gasping loudly, his face contorting suddenly in pain, his jaw and fists clenched firmly.

The pain of the spasm shooting throughout Heath’s body gave Jarrod strength to lunge to his feet and grab onto the blonde’s shoulders. His words of encouragement working through to Heath’s ears while the pain threatened to engulf him from the inside out.

“Breath slower, Heath. Com’n little brother! You can do it!” urged Jarrod calmly, caressing the sweaty cheek softly.

The subsiding of the ordeal left Heath exhausted and his breaths shallow, his eyes closed. Nodding slightly at Jarrod’s whispered question, Heath slowly opened his lids and smiled.

“Nick’s right, Jarrod.”

“About what, Heath?” inquired Jarrod, using a cloth to wipe the sweat off his face.

Heath drawled, “I am a young man trapped in an old man’s body.”

Rolling his eyes, Jarrod shook his head and snorted, “Sounds like something our brother would say.”

“Thanks, Pappy.” whispered Heath, his eyelids drooping. “I’m tired, Jarrod. Will you stay for a while?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right here, brother Heath.” assured Jarrod sitting back in the chair, holding onto the right hand of the younger man as if he were a lifeline into this world.

His eyes teared at the massive bruises still showing on his neck, the sight of the necessary straps constricting Jarrod’s chest. Laying his head down on the bed beside their clenched hands, he listened to the even breathing of the sleeping man and closed his eyes in prayer, thankful no surgery was needed so far and thankful the blonde was in their family.

Jim and Victoria Barkley stood in the open doorway and smiled at the sight of two brothers, both asleep, their hands firmly clasped together.

Chapter 22

The ocean waves beat gently upon the rocks, its sound playing a melody which hovered out over the surrounding area. The water blue and pristine, lapping up on the sandy beach of the small inlet, the smell of the air was tantalizing and refreshing.

Nick and Jim Fetterson climbed down from the surrey and entered the San Reyes Mission. After showing the man who greeted them identification, they were led to the garden and met by Padre Sanchez warmly before being led into the inner sanctuary.

Walking into the middle of the adobe building, Padre Sanchez lead the way into a room and locked the door behind them. Pulling on a lever hidden by a hanging curtain, a door in the wall opened and revealed a descending stairway.

“Remnants left from when the mission was first built. Long before any of us were alive. It was found quite by mistake.” informed the Padre at the puzzlement in the men’s eyes. Lighting a lantern, he entered the opening and followed the winding staircase.

“They’ve stayed down here the whole time?” exclaimed Nick at the darkness and dampness as they continued below ground.

Chuckling the padre shook his head and stopped on the stairs, looking back at the men following, “No, Mr. Barkley. There are two exits to this hidden sanctuary. One is up these stairs and the other leads away from the mission to the sea. The children have enjoyed playing down here at various times through the day since Heath deemed they were not to be seen outside in the daylight.”

“Oh, I understand.” whispered Nick, the mention of his little brother’s name welling up the concern in his eyes. “Thank you for explaining.”

Smiling, the padre nodded and started down the stairs, “Right now, they are being entertained by a mutual friend of mine and your brother.”

Nick opened his mouth to ask which marshal it was and then closed it, deciding to wait til he saw who it was with his own eyes. Entering a large cavern at the bottom of the stairs, the three could hear a voice speaking quietly and worked their way towards it.

Stopping and setting the lantern down on a table, Nick and Jim watched with fascination at the scene before them. In the center of the clearing, Gene and the Jenkins family were being instructed by a man dressed in shabby clothes, his head free of no hair, his movements graceful and powerful. All eyes were riveted on the lesson being taught, their focus completely on the teacher.

Suddenly, the man bowed slightly and gestured, “Ah, we have visitors.”

Turning, the students stared at the men with the padre and Gene smiled widely, “NICK!”

Walking over he was surprised when Nick wrapped him in a large bearhug and whispered, “Thank god you’re okay, college boy.”

“Nick, where’s Heath?” questioned Gene rapidly at the emotion in the hazel eyes. Gene knew Nick loved him with all his heart and only treated him like he was an annoyance most of the time, but the emotion in the strong brother filled him in dread.

“Heath and Jarrod are in the hospital.”

“What?” exclaimed Gene. “Why didn’t you wire me?”

“Nobody knew where Heath had stashed you Gene. I didn’t find out til four days ago. Neither could talk and tell us where..”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THEM?” shouted Gene, his face white with fear and a hand firmly gripped his shoulder.

“Young Barkley, perhaps the answers you are seeking are not for the smallest of ears.” suggested the teacher quietly. “Heath is of all things, a survivor, is he not?”

Nodding in agreement, Gene took a deep breath to calm himself. Startled, Nick found himself drawn into the quiet words, their tone taking away the fear which accompanied him from the hospital of San Francisco.

Holding out a hand, he introduced himself quietly, “Nick Barkley.”

“I am Caine.” Nodded the man before returning the handshake, then turning to the padre. “I must go.”

“Don’t leave cause of us.” stammered Nick quickly. “You were here first. You can stay.”

Shrugging, the eyes twinkled at him before he spoke, “To leave is my destiny, it is my journey.”

A frown spread across Nick’s face at the riddle spoken. Caine smiled and reached into his pouch, placing an object in the palm of the larger man.

“When you stand by your brother again, give him this and tell him ‘Fear is the only

darkness’.” stated Caine while Nick stared at the carved tiger in the palm of his hand.

Looking up, he searched the cavern but the man was nowhere to be seen. Wrapping his fingers around the wooden carving, he sighed deeply and turned his attention back to the others in the room, thoughts of the strange man pushed to the side for now.

The padre took the girls with him up the long staircase to the kitchen for lunch. The adults remained behind and sat on some boxes. The discussion and exchange of information between the district attorney and witness finally ended.

Nick and Gene would be returning to San Francisco right away, the Jenkins family and Fetterson would be waiting for the government agents to arrive. The agents would keep the family safe at another location until the federal trial began.

Riding the train back to San Francisco, Gene’s concern over Nick’s quietness grew and he placed a hand on the muscular arm. “Nick, you okay?”

Shocked from his thoughts, Nick shook his head, “I’m scared to death, Gene. What ifs keep running through my mind and I can’t shake them.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” admitted Gene sadly. “We have to be strong, Nick. I’ve leaned on Jarrod so many times in the past, now he can lean on me. And Heath, well, Heath’s been my sounding board for ideas and dreams. Now, I hope to be the same for him.”

Pride and love flashed in the hazel eyes at the man sitting beside him. “You know, Gene, I never realized until now what a fine young man you’ve grown up to be. A fine strong man with compassion, character and honesty. You’re gonna be a wonderful doctor. I’m proud of you.”

Blushing, Gene winked, “Does that mean you’ll stop calling me college boy?”

Snorting, Nick leaned back, put his hat over his eyes and crossed his arms, “Let’s not get too carried away, college boy!”

Chuckling, Gene’s happiness at the treasured words from the brother he worshipped helped keep his thoughts positive on the train ride back.

Chapter 23

Heart pounding was the emotion which ran through Nick and Gene as they walked down the hallway the next afternoon. Angry words reached their ears from the waiting room located in the middle between the two brothers’ rooms. In unison their steps quickened when they realized who the owner of the voice was.

Entering the room, both men saw the fury on the face of their petite mother and winced for the man who was standing before her, nodding and not speaking as she berated him firmly.

Cory Paulson accepted the harsh words from the woman small in stature but formidable in every sense of the word.

“I understand your concerns, Mrs. Barkley.” acknowledged the Lieutenant with a nod of his head, his voice soothing. “I am also concerned.”

“Mother, what’s happened?” asked Nick, he and Gene moving to stand beside her.

Greeting them both, Victoria sighed. “Mia Ling posted bail. I don’t understand how a judge could allow that considering what she’s demonstrated to be capable of.”

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” shouted Nick in outrage. “THEY LET HER WALK? AFTER WHAT SHE DID?”

“She did not walk, Mr. Barkley. She was granted bail.” informed Cory, his tone informing the man he was not liking his accusation. “That is how the justice system works.”

Holding up his hand, Nick nodded and admitted, “I know, Lieutenant Paulson, I know.”

“The others of the tong are still in jail.” said Cory, his anger subsiding. “We can be thankful they weren’t released.”

“Mother, where’s Audra and Uncle Jim.” queried Gene placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Audra wasn’t feeling well and Jim took her back to the hotel. He’s going to stay with her there.” said Victoria. “Hiriam is in with Jarrod.”

“Hiriam’s here? When did he arrive? Why isn’t he with Heath?” asked Nick, his questions firing rapidly one after another, the anxiety on his face caused his Mother to grab his hand.

“Hiriam arrived early this morning. He spent time with Heath before Dr. Stanton kicked him out of the room. He feels the swelling has gone down enough to see what damage has been done. Hiriam went to sit with Jarrod while I spoke with the Lieutenant in private. Jarrod doesn’t need anything else to worry about.”

Nick wrapped his mother in his arms and kissed the top of the silver hair. He could sense the fear inside of her needing to be released and eased.

“Heath’ll be fine, Mother. I just know it.” assured Nick firmly.

Taking a deep breath, Victoria closed her eyes to draw more strength from her son. She fought back the tears which seemed to be spilling from her eyes lately.

Cory cleared his throat and waited until he had her attention again. “I’ll be posting guards at your sons’ doors, Mrs. Barkley. This is merely a precautionary move on our part. I honestly don’t think Mia Ling would come here.”

Holding out her hand, he hesitated only slightly before he grasped it. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I am afraid my concern and anger over my sons worked its way out on you.”

Smiling slightly, he released her hand, “You are only protecting your children, ma’am. I would have expected no less. I will do my best to see nothing else befalls them.”

Nodding, he departed and left the three Barkleys in the waiting room. Gene led his mother to the settee, relaying his details of the stay at the mission to her. Nick smiled inwardly at his youngest brother’s ploy to take their mother’s mind off the fear of waiting.

Sitting at the table, Nick held the wooden gift in his hand and let his thoughts wonder back to the strange man at the mission. Sighing, he realized this was another part of Heath’s past the former marshal held back, either consciously or unconsciously.

‘I wonder if he’s still afraid of what will happen if he gets too close? He’s been with us two years, that doesn’t make any sense.’ thought Nick with a frown. ‘I’m gonna have me a talk with you little brother when you’re up to it.’

All conversation and thoughts ceased at the appearance of Dr. Stanton in the doorway, the three readied themselves, hoping for good news to take away the dismal atmosphere which seemed to hover around the family members lately.

Entering the room, the physician nodded and pulled a chair away from the table to sit down on. Victoria and Gene moved to sit at the table in preparation for the conversation about to take place. Hiriam entered the waiting room and shook hands with Nick and Gene.

“I thought you were with Jarrod.” stated Nick.

Sighing, Hiriam took a seat at the table beside Victoria and gestured to the physician, “His associate, Dr. Blanton kicked me out of the room.”

Dr. Stanton shook his head and smiled slightly, “Sorry about that, Mr. Thomson. I’m afraid you seem to have chosen inappropriate times to visit with our patients.”

“Well, Dr. Stanton, if I had my choice of course, I’d prefer not to be visiting anyone here at all.” sighed Hiriam, his quiet admission causing Victoria to reach over and squeeze his hand in support. Hiriam smiled gratefully and patted her hand.

“Hiriam, I’m glad you’re here. I believe Dr. Stanton was about to tell us about Heath’s examination.” informed Victoria turning her eyes to the physician.

Clearing his throat, Dr. Stanton nodded, “I have completed my examination of Heath.

First, his kidneys are functioning at a rate that suggests the bruising is healing and is a step in the right direction. Second, his throat while still bruised is on it’s way to soon losing all signs of trauma. The bruises will fade in time but he should have no future problems.”

The wide smiles at the table disappeared at the shaking of the physician’s head and his deep sigh.

“As you are no doubt aware, the back spasms Heath has been experiencing since the trauma have not ceased or subsided. As a matter of fact, they are getting worse even though Heath appears to not want to concede that fact at this particular time.”

“You mean he doesn’t want to admit it?” asked Gene quietly.

“That is correct, uh..”

“This is my youngest son, Eugene, Dr. Stanton. He attends school in Berkeley.” introduced Victoria.

Nodding his welcome to the new family member, he replied, “Heath is, well, for lack of a better term, in denial. The pain from the spasms is draining him physically and emotionally. The examination on him was unfortunately brutal in regards to the additional pain he was subjected to. I have given him some morphine to encourage a pain free sleep.”

“What exactly are you saying, Dr. Stanton?” asked Hiriam firmly holding Victoria’s shaking hand in his own, which were trembling at the look on the physician’s face.

“Heath has suffered a compression fracture to the vertebral body. It is caused by hyperflexion. That means the back is forced to bend too far forward or sideways. In Heath’s case, his back was pushed inwards too far. With a compression fracture, the spacing in one of the vertebrae has been decreased. The vertebrae in your back are spaced apart so much each and they encircle and protect your spine.”

“Is his spine affected?” whispered Nick.

“No, not at this time.” stated the physician closing the file and leaning forward, his eyes taking in the two elders at the table. “Heath has regained a small amount of feeling in his legs since the swelling has gone down, however, it is not enough to hope he will heal completely with bedrest. I wasn’t aware Heath had been in Carterson.”

“Carterson? What does that place have to do with my grandson now?” puzzled Hiriam. “That was nine years ago.”

“I know, Mr. Thomson. Heath asked me why bedrest wouldn’t help him like it did when he was released from Carterson. After the camp was liberated, did you know he’d been flat on his back for eight months because of a back injury he received there?”

The negative shakes of their heads and the tears forming in their eyes told the physician how shocked they were at the information.

“It was a shock to me, also.” admitted the physician. “I will tell you what I told Heath in regards to his options. We have two of them. One is complete bedrest and laudanum for the spasms. The time frame for the bedrest is hard to determine, but could be months. I would not recommend this option.”

“Why not?” demanded Nick firmly.

“Mr. Barkley, complete bedrest means the lack of using muscles. It means the loss of strength and in most cases, the patient becomes so despondent they don’t want to leave the bed. If he doesn’t become despondent and the fracture does heal, it may not heal correctly leaving him with future problems. This is why I wouldn’t recommend the first option.”

“The second option, Dr. Stanton?” encouraged Victoria.

“The second option is one that has been used in Europe the past year. It is surgery, more specifically a procedure called vertebroplasty. We would operate and put in material to return the vertebrae to the correct height before the trauma. After the surgery, most patients experience loss of pain immediately. Heath would need to wear a brace for approximately eight weeks afterwards. However, if the procedure is successful, chances of any problems in the future are greatly diminished.”

“As I said, this is a new technique and it has never been performed in our hospital. There is a doctor in Houston who has performed five of these surgeries in the United States. We would request he travel here to perform the surgery.”

“What did Heath say to these options?” asked Nick.

“I can’t tell you.” stated Dr. Stanton.

“Because of patient confidentiality?” inquired Gene.

Chuckling, Dr. Stanton shook his head, “No, I can’t repeat the words in front of a lady.”

The statement caused a scene to flash before their eyes and the resulting laughter eased the palpable tension in the room.

“Mrs. Barkley, the decision ultimately will rest with Heath. He is an adult and has full use of his mental capacity. Heath wanted time to consider both options. For his sake, I’d try to sway him into the option of surgery. He is an active man and to not take this risk will put his future livelihood in jeopardy. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Nodding, the physician left the room, his last words laying heavy in the minds of those left behind.

Chapter 24

“Mother, how are we going to convince Heath to have the surgery? You know how blasted stubborn he is.” sighed Nick confused for a moment as to why laughter greeted his words.

Rolling his eyes, Nick couldn’t keep the smirk off his face, “Well, he sure gives me a run for my money in that department. He’s worse than I am.”

Placing her hand on Nick’s arm, Victoria nodded, “It is after all an inherited Barkley trait, Nick.”

Hiriam sat back and smiled, “It’s from his father’s side of the family. My side only has the good traits of patience and honesty, stuff like that.”

Chuckling, Nick’s hazel eyes sparkled at the older Thomson and he winked, “Well, Mr. Patience wait til you really meet Mr. Cantankerous.”

The laughter in the waiting room reached the ears of Ted Blanton as he made his way down the hallway. Laughter was the best medicine in a lot of situations. It was able to take away the choking stress and relieve anxiety to allow the families to focus on their loved ones.

Dr. Ted Blanton stood in the doorway and watched the teasing for a few moments before he cleared his throat and gained their attention. Introducing Gene to the physician, Ted closed the door and sat in the chair recently vacated by his colleague.

“How is Jarrod, Dr. Blanton?” inquired Victoria, her gray eyes intense on the young physician’s face.

“Physically, he’s doing as well as can be expected, Mrs. Barkley. His stitches in his head and wrist were removed today and the scars will fade overtime. He is still experiencing some periods of dizziness from his concussion, however, those also will diminish and cease with time. For the most part, he should have no lasting effects of the concussion since it was mild.”

Seeing the looks of understanding on the faces around him, he nodded before continuing. “I am relieved to report his temperature is now down to 99 degrees consistently and his lungs are losing their congestion. His three broken ribs will need to remain bound to provide stability during the healing process. They should mend without any further complications.”

“What about the drug he was given?” asked Nick quietly, his eyes dropping and closing briefly as the picture of his addicted brother flashed through his mind.

“The opium is out of his system, however, his body is still trying to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal thrust upon it. His body will adjust on its own and over come its shock. It differs with each person and therefore, I cannot give you an exact timeframe.”

Sighing deeply, Dr. Blanton leaned his arms on the table and spoke, his quiet words filling the room.

“Mrs. Barkley, your son will overcome the physical trauma with little or no residual effects. Considering what he went through during his captivity, he is extremely lucky to be walking around today.”

“But?” whispered Victoria and Nick in unison.

“It is Jarrod’s emotional state I am concerned with. It is my understanding Jarrod has always been an emotionally and physically strong person, is this correct?”

Nodding, Victoria felt Nick’s hand cover hers and offer his strength.

“It is not uncommon for a person who was addicted to a drug to fall back to using it as a way to keep them from dealing with the aftermath of addiction.” stated Ted hesitantly.

“JARROD WOULDN’T DO THAT!” exclaimed Nick angrily, his shouted words being ceased by his mother’s admonition.

“Not if he were strong physically and emotionally like he was before he was kidnapped, Mr. Barkley. Your brother is teetering on a precipice, one foot on both sides with the fall back into addiction crumbling away the ground under his feet. One foot on the side away from the darkness and one foot still caught in the existence the drug provided.”

“Jarrod is struggling every second of each day, struggling to keep the influence of what the opium offered at bay. Every second of every minute. Every minute of every hour. Every hour of every day. He is in a battle for his life and I’m afraid he may lose.”

Tears filled Victoria’s eyes and she urged, “Why are you afraid he’ll lose? Jarrod’s always been a strong person. He didn’t ask for this so why couldn’t he be able to turn away?”

Frowning slightly, the physician thought for a minute before he looked up and met each pair of eyes while he sought to relay the severity of the emotional trauma.

“How does a strong person cope with being taken from their home forcibly? He fought but he didn’t win and allowed intruders to take him. One mark against the inner self.”

“How does a strong person cope with being chained and unable to free themselves? He tried but he couldn’t get loose. Two marks against the inner self.”

“How does a strong person cope with being at the mercy of others and losing control of everything around them? Three marks against the inner self.”

“How does a strong person cope with the euphoria experienced from the drug use and at the same time, the knowledge of the horrifying consequences awaiting them at the end of the euphoria? Four marks against the inner self.”

“I’m concerned Mrs. Barkley with all these things which have whittled away at Jarrod’s inner self during his captivity, during the time he was going through the withdrawals.”

“Jarrod has to find a way to get back what he lost during this time. What he had deep within him before they took it away. If he doesn’t do this, his fall back will be hard and swift.”

“Is there a treatment for something for this?” requested Gene wiping at his eyes.

“I would suggest what you have been doing for Jarrod. You’re there for him, you listen to him, reassure him he did nothing wrong and is not responsible.”

“We’ve been doing that already! Is there anything else?” replied Nick. “We’d do anything!”

“I have no doubt about that, Mr. Barkley. There is a new field of medicine which may help. It is called Psychiatry. These doctors specialize in emotional problems. I have requested Dr. Deal to meet with Jarrod and evaluate his emotional state.” stated Dr. Blanton.

“I also would suggest you do not try to keep anything from Jarrod in regards to the condition of Heath. If he thinks you are withholding information from him, it will cause him to question the trust he has placed in you.”

“I am sorry I could not relay all good news, Mrs. Barkley.” apologized Ted standing up. “After their appointment, Dr. Deal will let me know his findings.”

Nodding, Victoria whispered, “Thank you, Dr. Blanton for your concern and honesty.”

Smiling slightly, the physician opened the door and left the family behind.

“Mother, when is it gonna stop?” whispered Nick in anguish, holding his hands over his eyes. “When will Jarrod and Heath have to stop being in pain?”

“When your brothers, my sons, are able to look back onto this time with pride at the battle they waged and won. Only then will they be back in every sense of the word.” stated Victoria firmly. “Until that time, they will not be alone in the fight. We will be there every step of the way.”

Chapter 25

The previous evening came then departed without either brother waking and acknowledging the family members who hovered around them. Disappointment came once again before the family left the hospital when Jarrod refused to speak with Dr. Deal. Unable to force the attorney to talk with him, the psychiatrist’s hands were tied and apologies extended to the family.

The sun had barely risen above the horizon when Nick walked into the hospital. Nodding to the police officer guarding Jarrod’s door, he entered and smiled at the sight of his older brother sitting up in bed.

“Morning!” exclaimed Nick straddling the back of a chair by the bed, his warm infectious greeting returned only by a nod.

“Nick.” sighed Jarrod staring at the food on the tray before him, his stomach fluttering at the thought of trying to place sustaining food in it.

The lack of emotion in the greeting stirred the pot of pain within the rancher, the monotone voice twisted his stomach and he fought to keep himself under control. He wanted nothing more than to shake his pappy and bring him back from where he’d been sent.

“Something wrong with your breakfast?” asked Nick curiously at the look of disgust on the bruised face.

Pushing the tray away, Jarrod shook his head, “No, it’s fine.”

Nick suggested quietly, “You want me to see if they’ll bring you something else? I don’t think it’d be a problem.”

“No, it doesn’t matter.” replied Jarrod, wiping his hands over his face and not seeing the flash of pain in the hazel eyes.

“Jarrod, I could bring you something from one of your favorite restaurants.” said Nick eagerly.

“I’m not hungry!” snapped Jarrod, his eyes falling away from his brother’s face and looking at the wall. “Sorry, Nick. I’m a little tired.”

Nodding, Nick leaned his chin on the his arms laying on the back of the chair and studied the profile of his brother intensely. The dark circles under Jarrod’s eyes seemed to be getting darker as the days wore on. The whole family and his physician were concerned with the lack of sleep. Exhaustion, physically and mentally, would only be another worry on top of others, another way for the darkness to overtake him if it was allowed to continue.

“Jarrod, it’s a beautiful day outside. Dr. Blanton said you could go outside. How about if I take you?”

Biting back the automatic reply of anger which sprang into his mind, Jarrod sighed and shook his head. “No, I don’t feel up to it.”

“Pappy, you haven’t been outside in over a month.” protested Nick, his voice thick with concern.

Shrugging, Jarrod picked up his glass of water and took a small sip before putting it back on his tray. “There’s nothing I need to see outside.”

“A little sunshine would help and it’d make Mother feel happier if she knew you were outside.” suggested Nick seeing the guilt spring into the ocean eyes at the mention of their Mother.

Leaning his head back against the headboard, Jarrod inhaled deeply and nodded slightly, “Fine, Nick. If it’d mean so much to Mother, I guess we can go.”

Grinning at the small victory, Nick jumped up. “Great! I’ll get your robe and shoes.”

Jarrod closed his eyes and listened to Nick rambling on about the walk over from the hotel and the perfect morning temperature. Tuning out the deep voice, Jarrod felt the despair which always seemed to be choking him rise up again.

Torturous nightmares were slowly stealing his sanity and will power. He knew something was wrong within him but he couldn’t figure out what. Why couldn’t he get back to where he was before the kidnapping? He couldn’t remember things being so hard before. He used to smile just for the fact he was alive and in anticipation of the challenge of a new day. Now, he had to struggle to have even a small smile turn up his lips.

Tears were falling each night at the realization of the condition of his little brother. Even though Heath had graciously absolved Jarrod of any blame, the nightmares plagued him with pictures of the active man sentenced to a life without the full use of his body. The sapphire eyes of their father would slowly lose the life in them, leaving just a blonde shell sitting in the chair in the parlor of the mansion they all called home.

Sighing deeply, Jarrod realized Nick had stopped speaking and opened his eyes to find his brother sitting on the bed and holding his hand, his hazel eyes wounded with pain and anguish.

Jarrod knew he was the cause of the emotion in the hazel eyes and he squeezed Nick’s hand slightly before pulling his away. “You find everything?”

“Yeah, you ready?” queried Nick softly.

Walking outside slowly into the hospital gardens, Nick stood ready to help Jarrod in case the distance was too great for him. The police officer followed into the enclosed courtyard and stood back away from the brothers, keeping his eyes roving around for any signs of trouble.

The morning was beautiful, the birds chirping happily as they set off to find their first food of the day. The fragrant scent of flowers greeted the brothers who were the only early morning visitors to the garden.

Stopping and sitting in a couple of chairs, Nick drank in deeply the morning air with a small hint of ocean thrown in on the breeze. He was hoping excursions into the outside world would kick the drive inside of his brother into motion.

The drive which made him who he was. The drive of courage, compassion, justice and love. All these things rolled up made Jarrod Barkley a man people wanted to know. A man Nick was proud to call brother. A man he wanted back.

An hour passed and Nick’s conversation skills had been stretched to the limit. He tried to draw Jarrod into talking to him, into opening up but hadn’t succeeded. Dr. Blanton entered the garden and relieved Nick of his place by his brother’s side stating he had to speak with his patient.

“Mr. Barkley, I need to confer with my patient and I’ll be happy to escort Jarrod back inside when we’re finished.” smiled the young physician.

“Ah, sure doc.” replied Nick standing and placing a large hand on the robed shoulder. “I’ll be back later, Jarrod.”

“Okay.” sighed Jarrod, turning his head to look away from the physician who had sat down across from him.

Leaving the garden, Nick entered the room of his little brother and stood by the bed, his hazel eyes forming with tears. Reaching into his pocket, he brought out the wooden tiger and held it between his fingers, his eyes studying the intricacy of the carving.

‘Fear is the only darkness’ rang through his mind. The gentle soothing voice of the strange man caressing his thoughts.

The spoken words in the quiet room startled Nick and he looked into the wide sapphire eyes staring at the tiger.

“Nick, forget you ever saw him.” stated Heath firmly, his eyes moving to the surprised hazel eyes. “Promise me, Nick.”

Chapter 26

Surprised at the request, Nick hesitated slightly and Heath snapped, “NICK, SWEAR IT!”

The blonde’s face paled at the spasm surging through him caused by the tensing of his muscles from his anger and he felt Nick’s strong hands holding onto his tightly, his voice beckoning to him. The excruciating pain subsided and Nick tsked at him while he wiped the sweat off his brother’s face and teased quietly.

“That’s what you get for yelling at your big brother.”

Heath closed his eyes and smirked, “Twit brain.”

Grinning, Nick pulled the chair over and sat by the bed. Opening Heath’s hand, he placed the wooden tiger in his palm.

“Who is Caine and why should I forget him?” asked Nick quietly.

“Nick, can ya’ hold it up so I can see it.”

Taking the tiger out of the strapped hand, Nick held it between his fingers over the blonde’s eyes. The intricacy of the carving, the time spent working on the wood caused a smile to spread across the blonde’s face for a moment. Nick watched the blue eyes leave the present and go back into the past.

“Where did you meet him?” whispered Heath, his vision only seeing the small symbol of tenacity.

“He was at the mission. Caine seems to be a different sort of a fellow.” admitted Nick smiling at the chuckle escaping his brother.

“He was teaching Gene and the Jenkins family some moves of some sort. I’ve never seen anything like it. What does he do?”

“He’s a priest.” stated Heath.

“A priest? You’re kidding.” exclaimed Nick in disbelief.

“I’m not kidding, Nick. A Shaolin priest.” informed Heath.

“I have no idea what a Shaolin priest is, Heath, but why’d you want me to forget I saw him? I don’t understand.” frowned Nick.

Heath rubbed his thumb over the wooden tiger his brother had put back in his hand and sighed, sadness spreading across his face while his thoughts turned into the past.

“After mama was murdered, Larkin took my marshal badge away. To put it simply, I was a mess, Nick. Jack told me before I could get it back, I had to get my head back on straight. I was a danger to myself and everyone around me.”

“Wasn’t that a bit extreme of Larkin?” growled Nick.

Heath smiled at the tone in his brother’s words, the protectiveness within the man for those he cared about always came to the forefront before everything else.

“Nick, he did what he had to. Really, I was not doing very well. Now, I can understand the reasons but at the time I was furious with Jack.” admitted Heath.

“So, what happened?” asked Nick curiously, hungry for the knowledge of a small part of his brother’s past.

“Padre Sanchez was a friend of Jack’s for a long time. Long before I was a marshal and Jack sent me to the mission. He said I needed to see if I could get a hold of myself. It was a place away from anything familiar. Away from Strawberry and where mama’d been killed.”

Looking into the hazel eyes, Heath smiled, “That’s where I met Caine. Nick, when I met him I wasn’t a lawman. With his help, I was able to get my badge back.”

“I’m glad he was there for you, little brother.” smiled Nick, squeezing his forearm. “That still doesn’t explain why I have to forget I ever saw him.”

“He’s a wanted man, Nick. I saw the wanted poster on him a year later. That’s why you have to forget you ever saw him.” said Heath quietly, watching the stunned hazel eyes.

“But he’s a priest!” stammered Nick. “If he’s wanted, why didn’t you arrest him?”

“You can’t arrest a ghost, Nick. Besides, when I met him I wasn’t a marshal. I hadn’t seen him since then.” stated Heath, his eyes bright in remembrance. “Just forget you ever met him, okay?”

Nick frowned, “Alright, little brother. I’ll tell Gene the same thing.”

“Thanks, Nick.” replied Heath relief evident in his voice. “Caine’s a good man.”

Several minutes passed and both men were left with their thoughts until another spasm of pain had the blonde gasping from the torture. After the grueling exercise was over, Nick hesitated before inquiring, “What have you decided about the surgery?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now, Nick.” sighed Heath wearily, his eyes losing their brightness over the two options given by the physician.

“Heath.” whispered Nick quietly covering the smaller hand with his, the fear in the blue eyes evident before they turned away.

“Nick, please. I can’t discuss it right now.” pleaded the blonde.

Squeezing his hand, Nick stood up. “I’m gonna see Jarrod. The rest of the family should be here later, okay?"

Nodding, Heath closed his eyes and reopened them when Nick spoke again.

“I almost forgot, Heath. Caine gave me a message for you.”

The blue eyes met the hazel eyes and the message was delivered. Long after the back of his brother disappeared from his limited line of sight and long after the morning visits by the rest of the family, the former marshal heard the words echoing in his head.

“Fear is the only darkness.”

Chapter 27

“Heath?”

Moving his head, the blonde smiled at the man by his bedside, “Hi Grandfather.”

Bending over, Hiriam placed a gentle kiss on his grandson’s forehead and placed a hand on his shoulder, “How are you this afternoon?”

“I’m okay.” replied Heath, not seeing the older man’s eye rolling at the automatic answer the family and physician received each time the question was asked.

“Sure you are, Heath.” smiled Hiriam, sitting in the chair by the bed. “You were so lost in thought, I said your name five times before you heard me.”

“Sorry, Grandfather.” sighed Heath moving his eyes to look upwards at the ceiling. “I’ve just been thinking.”

Waiting for Heath to catch his breath and speak after working through the pain of the sudden brutal spasm, Hiriam remembered his fear which accompanied him back from Virginia. The train ride the longest he could ever recall, the miles of track seemed endless and curving with no end in sight.

The curves keeping him from the straight path back to California. He didn’t know how many times he’s wished he was a bird and could fly straight back instead of riding the tracks around nature’s obstacles.

Sitting beside his grandson who was fighting to keep the uncertainty of his future at bay and dealing with the pain, Hiriam’s eyes caught a glimpse of the wooden object in his hand.

“Heath, what are you holding?” inquired Hiriam curiously.

“It’s a wooden tiger. An old friend of mine asked Nick to deliver it.” said Heath looking over at his grandfather. His eyes taking in the sight of the man who in nine short months had come to be as equally important as his Mother and siblings.

“Grandfather, I was just thinking about Melinda.” admitted Heath softly.

Surprised, Hiriam sat forward on his chair and stared intently into the sapphire eyes. “Melinda? Really? How come?”

Heath sighed, “I was thinking I’m glad I wasn’t married when this happened. I guess things do happen for a reason.”

“That’s the old saying.” replied Hiriam, squeezing the blonde’s hand. “Maybe when you get back on your feet, you should look her up.”

Heath smiled slightly, “I don’t think her new husband would like that.”

Shocked reflected in the brown eyes and Hiriam bolted out of his chair, “New husband!”

Heath bit back his chuckle at the emotion which spread across the older Thomson’s face. Raging from disbelief to anger to pain. “She sent me a letter a week before I came to San Francisco.”

“I’m stunned Heath. I, well, it hasn’t been that long since she went to Sacramento.” stated Hiriam shaking his head in denial. “How come you didn’t tell me?”

“Grandfather, I didn’t want you to worry about me while you were in Virginia. Nick’s reaction was bad enough when I told him.” grinned Heath remembering the raving of his older brother. “It’s okay, Grandfather. I hope her and the kids are happy in their new life. That’s all that’s important.”

Running his fingers through the blonde hair, Hiriam smiled tenderly, “Heath, I can’t tell you how proud of you I am. How proud I am of the man you are and show yourself to be everyday. I’m honored to be your grandfather.”

Blushing, Heath blinked to fight the tears which sprang into his eyes and cleared his throat, whispering past the emotion. “Thank you, Grandfather.”

“What else have you been thinking about?” questioned Hiriam gently.

Closing his eyes briefly, Heath squeezed his grandfather’s hand, “Thinking about the type of person I’ve come to be.”

“What do you mean?” puzzled Hiriam staring into the sapphire eyes looking up at him.

“Wondering how I came to be such a coward.” drawled Heath.

“A coward?” snorted Hiriam before stating firmly. “You have never been that!”

Looking up at the ceiling, Heath mumbled, “Lately, I have been. I’ve never been one for laying around and letting the world keep kicking at me. But here I am laying here, afraid to make a decision. I’m afraid all the time. Afraid of the future, of what’s gonna happen or not happen. Afraid of not being by Nick’s side on the ranch. Afraid of not riding Charger again. Just afraid of everything.”

“Heath, if I was in your position I’d be afraid, too.” assured Hiriam firmly. “But you can’t let that fear define how you’re gonna live your life. That isn’t living life, it’s hiding from life.”

“I know.” whispered Heath softly.

“So, what are you gonna do about it?” asked Hiriam.

Looking into the concerned brown eyes, Heath sighed, “I reckon I’ll try the surgery. If I keep laying around, I’m gonna become part of this bed real soon.”

Hiriam smiled, “I’m glad, Heath. We’re all gonna be here with you.”

“I know, Grandfather. Besides, every time Audra’s in here she starts talking about cutting my hair. She’s worse than Nick!” groaned Heath loudly. “Those two really need something else to occupy their time other than me. They need a hobby!”

Chuckling, Hiriam’s happiness and hope shone down onto the blonde. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he placed a kiss on Heath’s forehead and left the room to find Dr. Stanton at his grandson’s request.

Closing his eyes he dozed and was woken when a soft kiss graced his cheek. Opening his eyes, he smiled into the tear filled gray eyes.

“I love you, Heath.”

“I love you too, Mother.”

Chapter 28

Sitting in the sunshine of the morning, Jarrod could feel the physician’s eyes on him and he silently wondered if the man’s intense eyes saw the darkness simmering inside of him. The darkness intent on stealing away him as a person. Sighing, Jarrod knew there was a way to get past it and he knew he could figure it out in time if people just let him be and gave him time.

Ted Blanton leaned forward with his elbows on his knees in the breath taking beauty of the garden. His eyes staring intently at the attorney across from him whose face was averted, the blue dull eyes peering out and not seeing anything.

“Jarrod, if you had one wish in the world granted right now at this very moment…what would you wish for?” asked the physician watching the bruised face slowly turn towards him.

“I’d wish for Heath to be back working the ranch.” replied Jarrod quietly.

“You wouldn’t wish that for yourself?” queried the doctor softly.

Sighing, Jarrod shook his head instead of answering verbally.

“Why not?” asked Ted.

“I don’t work the ranch.” stated Jarrod shifting slightly in his seat. “I’d like to go in now.”

Pondering the answer, Ted asked, “Why have you chosen not to speak with Dr. Deal?”

“I’m not in the habit of telling strangers personal business.” snapped Jarrod. “That’s all.”

The flash of anger in the dull blue eyes was a welcome sight and Ted stated, “Just like when you are a client’s attorney, anything you say to Dr. Deal is confidential.”

“I’ve had enough fresh air for today.” stated Jarrod pushing himself onto his feet.

Ted stood quickly and walked beside his patient into the hospital. Entering the room, he hovered by the bedside and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t think you fully understand what a crucial point in your recovery you are at, Jarrod. You are going to need all your strength to fight. You can’t fight if guilt over your brother’s condition is tearing you up inside. You’re exhausted from not sleeping, the exhaustion is clouding your mind. You can’t fight if you can’t find something to hold onto.”

Ted thrust his hands into the pockets of his white coat and caught the blue eyed gaze with his own, his words challenging in the quiet room.

“Jarrod, you need to decide if you want to retake control of your life or are you going to let those people keep control over you forever. Only you can make that decision, no one else. Until you make that choice, you will not be able to pull yourself back to the person you once were. Only you, Jarrod, have the power.”

The words hung in the room, the silence enveloping the two men as the time lengthened. Ted wondered if the lawyer had even been listening or had he tuned him out like every other time. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and jotted something in the file before closing it.

Taking one last look at Jarrod, he sighed and walked to the doorway, his hand on the knob when the words broke the silence.

“Dr. Blanton?”

Turning, the physician replied, “Yes, Jarrod?”

“Can I see my brother, Heath?” requested Jarrod softly.

Nodding, Ted walked back to the bed, “Certainly, Jarrod. I’ll walk you to Heath’s room myself.”

Walking Jarrod to the room of his little brother, the men arrived at the door as Victoria was leaving. Reaching up, she placed a kiss on her son’s cheek and smiled.

“Jarrod, I was just on my way to see you.”

“Sorry, Mother. I’m going to visit with Heath a while.” replied Jarrod, suddenly feeling anxious at seeing his little brother. “Well, maybe it can wait.”

Victoria saw the nervousness spring into her first born’s blue eyes and wrapped her arms around him. “I was on my way to get you for Heath. He wanted to see you, Jarrod.”

Surprised, Jarrod looked down into the loving gray eyes, “Really?”

“Yes, so just go in because he’s waiting for you.” smiled Victoria placing another kiss on his cheek. “I love you, Jarrod.”

“I love you too, Mother.” whispered Jarrod releasing his mother and following her down the hallway with his eyes.

Chapter 29

“I love you too, Mother.” whispered Heath as he stared into the gray eyes of the woman who had readily stepped into the maternal role in his life. Her unselfish nature, her unconditional love filled the spot in his heart which had been empty for so long after his mama’s murder.

Brushing her fingers through the blonde hair, Victoria’s smile trembled from the emotion flowing through her. “I’m happy you’ve decided to try the surgery, Heath.”

Heath closed his eyes and let her tender ministrations fill his being. He could feel his mama’s touch entwined with his Mother’s. Both women had the same soul of love within them. Heath knew he was lucky to have the love of both mothers in his lifetime.

“When I thought about it rationally and without fear, I came to realize surgery was the only option, Mother. I can’t lay in a bed and wonder for months again. It about killed me when I had to do it after Carterson.” admitted Heath with a ragged sigh.

The name of the prison evoked anger in the tiny woman. The spoken name sent flashing in her mind the remnants of his time evident by the scars left on her son’s body. She felt sadness for all who had suffered in that horrible place and for all who had perished during their captivity.

“Is that when you met Nate and his family?” queried Victoria seeing her late husband’s eyes light up with happiness at the mention of his friend’s name.

“After I was released from the hospital, I wandered around Texas. I was still recovering when I helped Nate out of a jam and brought him to his family’s ranch.” grinned Heath, his eyes going back into the past before returning to the future and a frown spread across his face.

“Mother, what’s wrong with Jarrod?” inquired Heath catching the look of concern in the gray eyes at the mention of her eldest son’s name. “I know something’s wrong but no one will tell me.”

Running her hand up and down his arm, Victoria fought back the tears which threatened to escape. Her eyes lately seemed to have a never ending supply of the droplets and she was unable to stop them sometimes when they forced their way to the surface.

Dr. Stanton, knowing the enormity of all Heath had to confront with his own recovery, requested the family not disclose to the blonde their concerns over his brother. The family agreed after the physician convinced the members, the former marshal did not need another obstacle to overcome. Nick did not like the thought of keeping anything from his partner and begrudgingly gave in at the request of his mother.

“Mother?” urged Heath, his agitation and concern rising at the hesitation in her answer. “Is he not doing well? Is that why he hasn’t been to see me? Has something terrible happened?”

“No, Heath.” replied Victoria quickly, her words cut off as the pain spread across his face, the muscles in his body tightened and convulsed.

The pain shot daggers throughout his body and his gasps for air turned to groans when the spasm continued in its intensity. His face drained of all color, his eyes closed as he fought, his knuckles white from the clenched fists.

Tears trickled out the corners of his scrunched up eyes, closed tightly against the battering he was receiving, his teeth were grinding together from the stiffening of his jaws. Heath’s body strained against the straps holding him in place while the torture kept on.

Responses to her cries in his ears went unheeded and Victoria rushed out of the room. Dr. Stanton ran into the room with his nurse and Nick following. Victoria and Hiriam stood in the corner of the room watching Nick trying to get his brother to follow the commands of his voice. The beacon fought to be heard above the deafening sound of the crashing waves as they beat furiously against the rocks.

At last, a shot of morphine accomplished what nothing else could.

Everyone watched as the drug took affect and sent the blonde back into a relaxed state, his muscles slowly losing their rigidity, the fear and pain on his pale face slowly disappearing, his fingers unclenched and opened, his eyes remained closed and his breathing evened out, dissipating the gasps and groans.

Listening to his heartbeat with his stethoscope, Dr. Stanton watched the rancher’s strong hands shake as they wiped the sweat from the face of his unconscious brother. Advising his nurse to monitor the patient, Nick followed the physician towards his mother and Hiriam.

“They’re getting worse, Dr. Stanton.” stated Victoria, her voice shaking with fear, the depth of the spasm shaking her physically.

Nodding the physician sighed, “Yes, they are, Mrs. Barkley. The surgeon from Houston will be here in two days and we’ll do the surgery the next day. I’ve only given Heath a small dose of morphine, enough to take the pain away and help him get some rest. We need Heath to be aware when Dr. Stiles examines him on Thursday.”

“Before the attack, he was upset something was wrong with Jarrod. Something he knows we’ve been keeping from him.” informed Victoria quietly.

Nick’s fists clenched at his sides and he glared at the physician, “I told you it was a bad idea! I knew we should have told Heath everything!”

Hiriam placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder and squeezed, “Nick, we can’t go back and redo it now. All we can do is let Heath know when he’s awake.”

The soothing words of the older Thomson pushed the rancher’s fury to the side and reached him. Nick sighed and ran his hands over his face and behind his neck.

“As I stated before, agitation will not cause a spasm to strike, Mrs. Barkley. He is suffering spasms due to his physical injury not emotional upset. It is a mere coincidence Heath was upset when it happened.” informed Dr. Stanton calmly.

“However, if you feel Heath must know about Jarrod, then tell him. I do not want my patient to lose sleep and exhaust himself further. The spasms are draining on him enough without additional thoughts of worry stealing away his energy.”

“Thank you, Dr. Stanton.” stated Victoria looking at Hiriam and Nick after the physician left the room. “I’d like to be the one to speak with Heath about Jarrod.”

“If you wish Victoria.” acquiesced Hiriam, turning towards his grandson’s brother. “Nick, why don’t we go to the hotel and update Audra and Jim about Heath electing the surgery?”

Nodding, Nick placed a kiss on his mother’s cheek and whispered, “Give my little brother my love when he wakes, Mother.”

“I will, son.” smiled Victoria closing the door behind them and walking over to the bedside. Reaching upward, she let her fingers caress his cheek and ran her eyes over the face now completely relaxed.

Two hours later, Victoria placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled into the sapphire eyes. “I’ll go get Jarrod, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Mother.” replied Heath, his eyes staring up at the ceiling after she left the room.

He was in a state of lightheadedness from the small dose of morphine. Twitbrained from the pain killer Dr. Stanton prescribed to keep the pained spasms from threatening to steal his breath out of his chest when they occurred. The frequency and intensity increasing in such a degree, the former marshal wished it were three days from now. Three days til the surgery.

Focusing his mind, he wondered how he thought he was going to help his older brother in the state he was in. What could he say to take the guilt he carried away? The guilt Jarrod seemed to be holding onto.

Scowling at the trail of his thoughts, the sound of slow moving footsteps moved his eyes downward and he spied the pale, tormented face of his eldest brother.

Glaring into the ocean color eyes, the former marshal’s angry voice rang through the room, past the door and into the outer hallway. The sound of Tom’s voice coming from the room had Victoria grabbing onto Dr. Blanton’s arm and her hand covering her mouth in shock. Nick, Audra, Jim and Eugene’s feet stopped at the voice which rang out into the hallway. Hiriam frowned at the expression on the faces of the members of the Barkley family.

“Jarrod Thomas Barkley, you better have a damn good reason for lying to me!”

Chapter 30

The words rang in Jarrod’s ears and he felt his heart thundering in his chest from the voice of his father. The voice taking him back in time, back to another place where those same words had been spoken in anger by another man.

Tom Barkley’s anger could not be kept from his voice as he demanded an answer from his first born. This type of behavior by his eldest son was unexpected and shocking.

“Jarrod Thomas Barkley, you better have a damn good reason for lying to me!” demanded his father, blue eyes glimmering with anger.

Taking a deep breath, Jarrod spoke calmly, “Yes sir, I believe I do.”

“Well.” prodded Tom for the explanation from his son when it wasn’t readily provided.

“I am trying to follow your example of leadership, sir.” replied Jarrod, seeing the look of puzzlement overtake the look of anger on his father's face. “You said as leaders in the community it was our obligation to do whatever we could for those less fortunate than us. It was our responsibility to help those who cannot help themselves.”

“Jarrod, what exactly were you doing at Madame Boyer’s house and why didn’t you go to school yesterday?” inquired Tom curiously.

Looking his father in the eyes, Jarrod replied, “Before school, Susie Boyer told me her mother was sick and she heard the doctor say to one of her uncles the only thing could cure her mother was the hair of the dog. Susie was real scared cause they don’t have a dog. I brought Susie home and we cut some hair off Lady. Then we went to her house and made a tea out of it for her mother. After Mrs. Boyer drank it and we told her what it was, she jumped up from the table and said she was feeling better.”

The words from his ten year old son had Tom biting the inside of his cheek to keep his laughter of incredulity from bursting out. Nodding, he breathed deeply and thought for several moments, hiding a smile with his hand.

“You are right, Jarrod. I have said that many times.” admitted his Father. “However, being a leader in the community should not come at the expense of your education. The education you receive will allow you to help a lot of people in the future.”

Listening to his father’s words, Jarrod smiled with understanding, “If I become educated and become a lawyer, I can help more people.”

“That’s right, son.” agreed Tom. “While your intentions were honorable, you skipped school and lied. That type of behavior is not acceptable and must be punished.”

The smile on Jarrod’s face faded and he nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Your punishment will be to give Lady a bath tomorrow.” stated Tom smiling at the relief in his son’s eyes. “Now, off to bed and next time come speak with me first when something like this comes up, Jarrod.”

“Yes, Father.” promised Jarrod accepting a hug from his father before heading to bed.

“Jarrod, I thought we had reached an understanding.” stated Heath firmly, his words drawing his brother who felt his father’s arms around him again out of his reverie. “What’s this nonsense I hear?”

Confused as to the reason for the anger coming from the blonde after his mind returned back to the present. Jarrod’s eyes reflected his confusion and it took a moment before he hesitantly asked. “What nonsense?”

“I hear you’re not sleeping cause of me, my condition.” stated Heath seeing the understanding dawning in his older brother’s tired eyes. “Jarrod, we talked about this. It’s not your fault!”

Sighing, Jarrod sat in the chair beside the bed. His hand trembled when he reached up to rub his face before looking into the sapphire eyes. His eyes returned to their dull expression and he nervously played with the tie of his robe.

“I’m sorry, Heath for making you angry.” admitted Jarrod, his voice quiet and tired, his body begging for sleep but his mind not willing to succumb.

Studying the eldest son, Heath felt a finger of fear start inside him. His brother was in desperate need, he was teetering on the edge ready to fall back into darkness. Moving the wooden tiger in his fingers, Heath caught the eyes shifting downwards to the movement.

“Jarrod, a friend gave this to me. Take a look at it and tell me what you think.” said Heath quietly.

Reaching over, Jarrod took the wooden object from the strapped down hand, squeezing the hand gently with his other before pulling back. Holding the trinket in the palm of his hand, he studied it and found himself wondering about it.

“It’s nice.” replied Jarrod, his words a mere whisper when his revived curiosity asked. “Why a cat?”

“Big brother, that is not just a cat. It’s a tiger!” informed Heath, his words calm, his tone soothing.

“Do you see the delicacy of the carving? The detail in the tiger’s fierce expression? Look closely. You can see it’s hunter’s eyes, the deadly fangs in the open mouth. Look at it’s feet and you can see the claws and I swear if you touch them, you can feel their sharpness.”

Jarrod felt himself drawn to the tiger as his little brother’s voice soothed the agitation inside of him. His eyes looked past the object as a whole and focused on the minute details of the tiger, his pinpointed view taking in the tiniest of details.

“The tiger is the symbol of tenacity, Jarrod. It is a symbol for the will to survive anything which is stealing a person away.” explained Heath quietly carefully watching his brother whose eyes slowly lifted back to his.

“It is the symbol used to survive the darkest part of a lifetime. I used it to survive my mother’s murder and regain my lost soul. I used it to survive my fear of taking the chance to live again. I want you to use it, Jarrod. I want you to use it to drive away those fears of being at the hands of others, of not being in control, of being afraid you’ve been abandoned by those you love.”

The dull eyes were filled with tears and emotion, the dark head turned downwards and the tiger was clutched in a clenched hand. “Heath, I don’t know if I can.”

“You can, Pappy. Look at me, Jarrod!” urged Heath waiting for the eyes to rise, tears spilling out on both men’s cheeks.

“I’ve been there, Jarrod. No one likes others to have control over them. I was there in Carterson. Everyday they tried to destroy me and those around me. The beatings, the degradation, the humiliation they forced on us. It would have worked. They would have taken everything except, inside of me, I held onto hope. They were never able to take that away, they were never able to win. I was surrounded by people when I was in Carterson, but I was alone. I didn’t have the love of any around me, I didn’t have the love of an entire family to count on. I didn’t have brothers who were desperately trying to find me and rescue me from my hell.”

Sapphire eyes demanded as they looked into the ocean eyes, his father’s voice was ordering him to fight.

“You have to reach inside of you and find the hope you hid away from the tong, Jarrod. It’s there, otherwise, they would’ve broken you. Find it and use it, Pappy.”

“It’s gone, Heath. I can’t do it.” denied Jarrod.

“That’s not you talking, Jarrod. That’s the tong! It’s their voices you hear in your head! They put those thoughts there, not you.”

The shaking of his oldest brother’s head was frustrating and scary. Taking a deep breath, Heath clenched his hands when the spasm came, unnoticed by Jarrod since the pain was significantly decreased by the morphine.

“Think, Jarrod back to those days. Think hard! If you take the chance and close your eyes, you’ll hear them whisper those bad thoughts. It was their way of trying to control you.”

Fear reflected suddenly in the ocean eyes at the thought of reliving the captivity. Heath begged, “Please Pappy, do it for me. Find the hope and I promise I will help you find the way out of the darkness.”

“Keep a hold of the tiger and in five days time, we’ll help each other as brothers on the battlefield. Five days, Pappy and we’ll join hands, standing side by side, together.”

Surprise and need flew into the ocean eyes at the words of togetherness.

“Hold onto hope Jarrod for five days. That’s all I’m asking, one brother to another.”

Taking the hand opened as a gesture of agreement, Jarrod nodded and let his tears fall freely. Laying his head on the bed, Heath gently caressed the dark locks of hair and prayed for the strength to hold up his end of the bargain.

To be continued…