Journey into Darkness

Chapter 31-48, Epilogue

by catgirl63

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 31

The flow of emotion abated and Jarrod felt the gentle touch on his head. The soothing whispers of encouragement were from his brother and seemed to be delivered by his father’s voice.

‘I can do it! I’m not alone and I can hold on for five more days!’ thought Jarrod fervently feeling a sliver of strength rising within him. Lifting his head, he wiped the remnants of emotion from his face and clutched his brother’s gift of tenacity in his hand.

“Heath, I’ll try but honestly I don’t know if I’m strong enough to relive it.” admitted Jarrod tiredly.

“You’re stronger than you may think Jarrod!” reassured Heath calmly. “You just don’t realize it.”

Jarrod shook his head and sighed, “Lately I feel I don’t know anything.”

“I know, Jarrod. I know.” whispered Heath, remembering the same feeling in the past when he was alone and lost, unsure of anything, not knowing how to go on, how to get past the dark times.

“So, I guess you decided on having the surgery.” stated Jarrod quietly.

“Yeah, I did.”

Searching the eyes of his brother, Jarrod felt the desire to know something other than the living nightmare he’d been sequestered to. “Why aren’t you afraid, Heath?”

Heath flashed a lop-sided grin, “I’m scared to death of the surgery. Jarrod, there’s something that scares me more. Do you know what that is?”

Jarrod suggested, “Not being able to walk?”

“No.” replied Heath firmly. “Not being able to live with myself by giving up hope. If I gave up and gave in, I couldn’t live with myself no matter what the future holds or doesn’t hold.”

The truth in the spoken words worked themselves around Jarrod’s mind and he nodded.

“Yeah, I guess not.” admitted Jarrod with a wry smile, his hands nervously rubbing the wooden tiger.

Heath sighed, “One day we’ll look back on this time and wonder how the hell we got past this without Nick shaking or throttling us both.”

Jarrod nodded in agreement, “I’m sure he’s forced himself to sit on his hands sometime in the past weeks. We’re lucky to have such a caring brother.”

Heath grinned when the door opened and they heard his anxious brother’s voice, “Uh, you two need anything?”

Looking at Jarrod, Heath winked, “That’s exactly why we keep him, Pappy.”

Nick frowned at the knowing look which passed between his brothers and stepped further into the room. Walking to the bed, his hazel eyes caught a glimpse of a small change in his older brother. An faint aura of lightness seemed to be surrounding him where before was only darkness and uncertainty.

Placing a strong hand on Jarrod’s shoulder, Nick smiled gratefully into his blonde brother’s eyes. “So, what you boys been up to?”

Heath smiled, “I was telling Jarrod here that you seem to like Nurse Thompson.”

“WHAT?” shouted Nick in disbelief, his hands flying to his sides in shock. “THAT’S NOT TRUE!”

Jarrod’s eyes widened at Heath’s unexpected statement and his shoulders shook with constrained laughter.

“Boy, you’re lucky you’re flat on your back!” blustered Nick angrily.

An innocent expression spread across Heath’s face and he tilted his head slightly, “Why, Nick, just the other day I saw you holding her hand. I saw it with my own eyes.”

“For pete’s sake, she must be at least sixty years old!” growled Nick, inwardly enjoying the chuckle coming escaping from Jarrod. “I think you were hallucinating! They’re giving you too much pain killer. Smart ass!”

“Nice try, Nicholas. I saw what I saw, twit brain.” sighed Heath winking at Jarrod who was watching his brothers with interest.

Nick growled, “Don’t call me Nicholas! Besides, she was just examining my hand from you clamping down on it! Hell, she’s old enough to date your grandfather, Heath!”

“HEY! Leave Hiriam out of this!” retorted Heath in mock anger.

Nick leaned over the bed and smirked, “What’s the matter little brother? Not ready for a grandma just yet?”

“Don’t even go there! Nick, she’s seen me in my birthday suit!” replied Heath mortified at the thought.

“So has Mother, little brother.” replied Jarrod automatically, shocked at the statement which left his mouth causing Nick’s loud laughter and red to creep up their younger brother’s face.

“That’s cruel, my brothers. Just cruel.” groaned Heath fighting to keep the smile off his face and the laughter out of his eyes while he gazed into the ocean eyes of his puzzled older brother.

“Go on, get outta my room.” growled Heath, winking at his brothers before closing his eyes. “I need my beauty sleep.”

Putting a strong arm over Jarrod’s shoulders, Nick snorted, “Com’n Pappy, I can tell when we’re not wanted. I’ll buy you some coffee.”

Jarrod allowed the strong arm of his brother to lead him out of the room. Heath’s hand clenched as a spasm hit but the smile on his face caused by Jarrod’s unexpected teasing statement couldn’t be diminished by any amount of pain.

Chapter 32

Nick kept his arm over Jarrod’s shoulder as they left the room and walked to the waiting room. Jarrod accepted the greetings from his Mother and younger siblings, trying to hide the relief in his eyes when Nick grabbed two cups of coffee from the pot on the table, then stated they were going to the gardens.

Audra’s couldn’t keep her disappointment to herself and pouted loudly, “Jarrod, I haven’t seen you at all. I want to spend some time with you, too.”

Nick gazed pleadingly into his mother’s eyes and gestured slightly with his head after Jarrod mumbled an apology and looked downwards, the guilt in his eyes clear to see.

“Audra, you haven’t been to see Heath in a few days. Let’s visit him and let the boys spend time together.” stated Victoria quickly.

Shaking her head negatively, Audra bit back the tears which sprang to her eyes, “I just can’t Mother.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” demanded Gene abruptly, effectively cutting off any replies of his shocked mother and older brothers.

“I can’t see him that way anymore, strapped down, unable to move.” whispered Audra, fear in her eyes. “Those spasms frighten me. They’re horrible!”

Victoria wrapped Audra in her arms and stroked the blonde hair, “Heath is going to be fine, Audra. He needs all of us, all of our strength now.”

A small sob escaped from her daughter and Victoria felt Audra’s arms tighten around her. The gray eyes lifted to look into her son’s hazel eyes and she murmured in her girl’s ears.

“Audra, how can you think of yourself at a time like this!” stated Gene angrily. “I thought you had more courage than that! Heath told me how strong you were when Freemont kidnapped you and you two got away! Now, I wonder if it was a lie.”

Wiping her face and releasing her mother, Audra’s eyes filled with fury, “Heath didn’t lie, Eugene!”

“Prove it!” gruffed Gene pulling her out of the waiting room with the rest of the family rooted in their spots. The unusual outburst between the youngest siblings was a testament to the strain the family was currently under.

Nick shook his head and looked at Jarrod, “Ready, Jarrod?”

“Okay, Nick.” answered Jarrod quietly following his brother out of the room, spying the two youngest Barkleys enter the room down the hall.

“Pappy, Gene sure has grown up, hasn’t he?” wondered Nick after they entered the garden bathed in the fading afternoon light.

Sitting on the bench, Jarrod held the cup with both hands and sipped the beverage once before nodding in agreement. Nick sat back in his chair and cast his eyes upwards at the cloudless sky, enjoying the solitude of the hospital haven.

“Jarrod?”

Looking over at his brother, confused at the intense scowl on his face, Jarrod replied, “Yeah?”

Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Nick stated quietly, “I’ll be here with you every step of the way. You do know that, don’t you? You do know you can count on me, don’t you?”

Surprised at the question, Jarrod found himself nodding and whispering, “I know that, Nick. You’ve always been there whenever I needed you.”

Moving to sit on the bench by his brother, Nick laid his arm across Jarrod’s shoulders and squeezed him gently. Relief flooded the hazel eyes and Nick stated firmly, “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget. You’re my brother and I’d do anything for you.”

“No, I haven’t forgotten.” replied Jarrod looking down into his cup and then adding softly, “Thanks, Nick.”

Grateful Jarrod was allowing his arm to lay across his shoulders as an offering of strength and togetherness, Nick smiled to himself when his older brother’s hands rubbed the wooden tiger. The symbol passed from one brother to another. Jarrod’s thoughts were drawn back to his blonde brother and the promise made between them. The promise which started the seeping of strength into his inner being.

‘Hold onto hope Jarrod for five days. That’s all I’m asking, one brother to another.’

Heath smiled widely at his youngest siblings when they entered the room and walked to the bedside, his eyes not missing the fact Gene was dragging Audra into the room.

“Hey you two!” greeted Heath with a grin.

Grabbing onto Heath’s hand, Gene smiled, “Hi big brother! You’re looking good today.”

“Thanks, Gene.” said Heath turning his eyes to Audra. “Sis, as beautiful as ever, I see.”

Stepping closer, Audra took a shaky breath and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. “Hi, big brother.”

“Audra, don’t be afraid now, okay?” whispered Heath in her ear and then adding. “No, I don’t need a haircut either.”

Sobbing and laughing at the same time, Audra leaned her cheek against Heath’s and held onto his shoulders. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you, Heath. Can you forgive me?”

“Shush now, sis. There ain’t nothing to forgive.” assured Heath smiling into the teary eyes. “Dry your tears or the next time Dr. Blanton sees you, all he’ll see is puffy eyes.”

Gasping, Audra blushed, “Heath, you’re terrible! What a thing to say!”

Chuckling, Gene shrugged and stated, “He seems like a nice guy, Audra.”

“Eugene Barkley! There will be no marrying me off!” replied Audra firmly. “Brothers!”

Victoria stood outside the doorway and smiled at the sound of laughter from her three younger children. Her eyes closed briefly before she made her way to the chapel and knelt in prayer.

Two days later…

Heath clenched the edge of the bed with a white knuckled grip and was unsuccessful at biting back all the groans of pain from the probing fingers of the physician. His back spasmed uncontrollably and his body trembled. Dr. Stiles skillfully felt his way through the examination as quickly as he could, fully aware of the man’s intense pain.

Completing the examination, he nodded to Dr. Stanton and stated, “We’ll give you a shot of morphine now, Mr. Thomson for that pain.”

Waiting for the shot to take effect, Dr. Stiles walked to the side of the bed where Heath’s face was turned after covering the blonde’s back with a sheet. Sitting in a chair, he patted the nearest shoulder and smiled into the eyes slowly losing the pained look which was being replaced with drowsiness.

“Dr. Stanton was correct to recommend this new procedure on you, Mr. Thomson. You are a prime candidate and based on my examination, I believe you have an excellent chance of not having any foreseeable problems in the future. However, with any type of operation there are always associated risks. Do you still wish to have the surgery?”

Nodding his agreement, Heath fought to keep his eyes open and mumbled, “When?”

“Tomorrow, Mr. Thomson. Now, I want you to sleep and replenish your strength as much as you can.” instructed the physician quietly, watching the eyelids slowly close.

Waiting until the even breathing filled the room, the two physicians skillfully maneuvered Heath over onto his back and retighten the straps before leaving the room to advise the family of the pending surgery.

Chapter 33

Nick paced the waiting room, his long strides eating up the space quickly before he had to pivot and change direction. Jarrod watched the pacing with a far away look, the familiar strides a comforting presence during the suffocation of waiting. His fist contained the wooden tiger, his thoughts only on his blonde brother. Victoria, Hiriam and Jim sat at the table, speaking amongst themselves, their voices serenely subdued.

Gene fidgeted on the sofa where Audra sat holding his hand in a deathgrip. Nick’s movements were starting to wear on his nerves and his hand was starting to cramp. Reaching over, he pried her fingers loose and shook it before rubbing it to restart the flow of blood. Reaching around her, he pulled her into his side and placed a kiss on her blonde hair.

Audra felt a fleeting moment of embarrassment when Gene had to pry her fingers off his hand. She didn’t realize she was gripping it so hard, his hand was white where her grasp had been. Sighing, she welcomed the strength and comfort he was offering when he pulled her into his side.

Entering the waiting room with Dr. Stanton, Dr. Stiles smiled into the anxious faces when each person was introduced. Directing everyone to take a seat, he sat at the table and waited til the room was quiet.

“I have completed my examination of Heath with Dr. Stanton. As previously diagnosed, Heath’s vertebrae has suffered a compression fracture which are causing the spasms and pain. With the new procedure of vertreboplasty, we should be able to return the spacing of the vertebrae to the correct height as it was before the injury.”

“Should be able to?” repeated Nick, his tanned face frowning at the words. “It sounds to me like you’re not certain.”

“Yes, Mr. Barkley.” admitted Dr. Stiles. “As with all things in life, there are no guarantees. However, due to this hospital’s exemplary treatment of your brother and the precautionary measurements taken by confining his movements from the onset of the trauma, Heath has an excellent chance of the surgery being a complete success.”

Nick put his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands, the tension from the physician’s words in his body making it rigid. Jarrod hesitantly reached over and placed a hand on the black clad back causing Nick to turn his face towards his older brother and smile his gratitude.

“Mrs. Barkley, your son for the most part is in excellent physical condition. In speaking with him before the examination, his mental state of mind is one of fortitude and tenacity.” informed Dr. Stiles, his use of the word tenacity was specifically requested by his patient.

His dark eyes were drawn to the other injured member of the family and the specialist smiled inwardly to himself at the sudden jolting of the attorney’s dark head upwards at the term. The word leaving a thoughtful expression on the face of his patient’s brother.

Dr. Stanton saw Jarrod’s movement and looked downward to hide the smile on his face. He hadn’t fully understood Heath’s request to use the word when they discussed how much his frame of mind would affect his recovery until now. Thinking of the depths of this family’s caring for each other brought tears to his eyes.

“Why were you concerned with Heath’s frame of mind?” inquired Hiriam nervously.

“It is a proven fact a patient’s frame of mind can hinder their recovery significantly, Mr. Thomson. Your grandson while not crazy is certainly a strong willed person. In fact, he is insisting that in two days’ time he’ll be going on a journey away from darkness.” smiled the physician with a shake of his head. “I’m not quite sure what that means.”

“Of course, I tried to dissuade him and he just laughed, saying he’ll be a walking advertisement for my handiwork.” replied the physician with a grin at the courage of his young patient.

Chuckling to themselves, the family smiled widely and nodded in agreement.

“No, doc. He’s not crazy but the boy sure is cantankerous.” acknowledged Nick with a broad smile enjoying the certainty at his brother’s words to the physician replacing some of the doubts he’d been feeling lately.

Jarrod wiped the tears away from his eyes and welcomed Nick’s strong arms which wrapped him into a hug. Nodding at Nick’s whispered question of concern, Jarrod sighed and patted the strong back of his brother, Heath’s words ringing in his ears.

‘Find the hope and I promise I will help you find the way out of the darkness.’

“The surgery will be performed in the morning. Heath was in a great deal of pain from the examination and we have administered morphine to take away the discomfort. Heath is asleep now which is the best thing for him.” stated Dr. Stiles before glancing towards Dr. Stanton.

The older members in the room saw the look which passed between the two doctors and glanced at each other.

“Is there something else, Dr. Stiles?” asked Victoria quietly.

“Well, we’re not sure but it is something we’ll be keeping our eyes on after Heath wakes from the surgery.” admitted Dr. Stiles gathering his thoughts and holding up his hand at the questions he saw reflected in the eyes focusing intently on him.

“When Heath was admitted Dr. Stanton was not aware your son had been in the war and in fact, was one of the few people who survived incarceration at Carterson.” stated Dr. Stiles quietly.

“Some soldiers were left with an addiction to morphine which was free flowing and the only form of pain killer readily available to the field hospitals. Heath told us after Carterson he was on a morphine regiment due to his injuries. He doesn’t have complete remembrance of all the months he spent in the field hospital due to the amount of morphine he was receiving. It was easier on the physicians at that time to keep Heath in a state of unawareness when he was recovering due to the amount of trauma he suffered in the prison.”

“Are you saying Heath’s addicted to morphine?” gasped Hiriam, his intake of air loud in the still room.

“No. We need to be aware this may be a possibility.” replied Dr. Stiles firmly. “It is a side effect we will be watching for. Not everyone who receives morphine becomes addicted, but preparation is the best offense in these situations. He did not become addicted after his internment in the field hospital after he was taken out of Carterson, so I don’t believe he will now. Again, we only need to keep an eye on him and be aware of the possibility.”

Nodding, Victoria looked into the physician’s face, “Can we see Heath and spend time with him?”

Smiling, Dr. Stiles nodded, “It would be highly encouraged, Mrs. Barkley. Even though he is asleep, you can be there with him. He’ll know you’re there cause he’ll feel it while the drug has him unaware.”

Standing, the physician met each pair of eyes in the room and said, “The surgery will be at sunrise and we’ll update you as soon as we can after it is completed. The police officer outside Heath’s door will not be allowed into the operating room but he can stand outside of it.”

Turning to leave, Dr. Stiles suddenly turned back to the family and sighed, “I must say, in the short time I’ve spent with Heath, I find I have every confidence in him to overcome any situation he’s been handed. His courage is an asset which you should use to derive strength from. Please keep this in mind when you spend time with him today.”

The physician’s words hung in the air after he departed the room, the last thoughts of the older man leaving the family with a sense of pride for the blonde already encased in their hearts.

Rising early the next morning, Nick hurried to the hospital and nodded to the officer outside his blonde brother’s door. Entering the room, he walked to the bedside, grabbing one of the clenched fists.

“Nick.” whispered Heath, eyes closed, his face contorted in pain from the throes of the spasm. The room filled with the urging voice of the beacon and several minutes passed before the fight expired.

“How’d you know it was me?” asked Nick.

Exhausted, Heath sighed, “Only reason ya’ didn’t sleep in here last night was cause Dr. Stiles kicked you out. Figured you’d be here first thing, big brother.”

Nick smiled slightly, “Well, I couldn’t let my little brother go into surgery without seeing my handsome face to remember.”

Chuckling, Heath winked, “Boy howdy, now I can have nightmares while I’m under the anesthesia. Thanks, Nick.”

Laughing, Nick’s eyes turned serious and he cupped the blonde’s cheek, “I’ll be worried about you every minute til you’re out of there, Heath.”

“It’ll be okay, Nick.” assured Heath, his eyes full as they gazed into the glistening hazel eyes. “Keep grandfather and Mother calm for me.”

“I will.” promised Nick, turning to look as the door opened and the two physicians entered. Leaning over, he whispered, “I love ya’, little brother.”

“Mr. Barkley, you’ll have to leave now.” stated Dr. Stiles.

Nodding, Nick squeezed a shoulder and smiled at the whisper, “I love ya’ too, Nick.”

Chapter 34

Leaning against the wall of the waiting room, Nick kept his eyes turned downwards, carefully examining the flooring beneath his boots. His thumbs hooked in the pockets of his black jeans, his thoughts centered on the brother in the operating room, his life placed in the hands of the physicians.

He smiled to himself remembering the first time he’d seen the man who unknown to him was his brother. Closing his eyes, he could see it like it was yesterday instead of almost two years ago when Marshal Heath Thomson had ridden up the street of Stockton towards the sheriff’s office.

Dusty and covered in trail dust riding on Charger and leading another horse, his star of honor was dulled by grime but the power in the man could be felt by all when he neared them.

He’d ridden into town a marshal without a family, hauling a murderer and ended up a rancher surrounded by family.

The road from that fateful day to the present had taken a lot of twists and turns, the smoothness often gave way to ruts and potholes, but it was a road Nick would gladly take again given the choice.

Working beside his little brother was a gift to him every day. Grinning, Nick even relished the days when they seemed to annoy each other, both men blessed with an abundance of stubbornness and pig headedness.

His thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Stiles and Dr. Stanton entered the room and walked over to his mother. His smile faded at the cries of anguish heard in the room.

His mind fought to comprehend what he’d heard. Complications. Loss of blood pressure. We’re very sorry.

Collapsing to his knees, Nick’s body shook uncontrollably, he felt his heart shriveling in his chest and tears streamed down his face. His hands flew to his head as the pain exploded within at his outcry.

“HHEEAATTHH!”

“Nick, wake up!” called Jarrod shaking his younger brother.

Gasping and jumping up, Nick fell back against the wall and stared into the eyes of his brother, his lungs were threatening to explode in his chest, his eyes were streaming with tears.

“Nick, it’s Jarrod. You were having a dream!” stammered Jarrod shaken by the look of sheer terror in the pale face. “NICK!”

The words finally worked through the wall of terror and Nick sobbed with relief, pulling Jarrod into his arms and holding him tightly. Fighting for control of himself, Nick felt himself being rocked slightly by his older brother and murmured words of encouragement reached his ears.

Taking several deep breaths, he felt calm replace the terror inside him from the vivid nightmare. Nodding, he pulled himself out of Jarrod’s arms and stumbled over to a chair, holding his head in his hands. Jarrod knelt beside the chair and waited for Nick to gain composure.

“Jesus, I think I almost gave myself a heart attack.” whispered Nick.

“You okay?” asked Jarrod quietly, physically shaking from what he’d witnessed after waking to find Nick asleep in his room.

“God, I’m sorry Jarrod.” apologized Nick placing a hand on his shaken brother. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Just thought I’d keep you company til Heath’s out of surgery. Guess I fell asleep.”

“That’s okay, Nick.” replied Jarrod. “You want to talk about it?”

Shaking his head negatively, Nick replied firmly, “No way! I don’t even want to think about what that dream was about.”

Nodding, Jarrod climbed to his feet and walked back to the bed, sitting on the edge and fumbling with the wooden tiger. Nick shuddered the last emotions of the nightmare away and walked over to stand in front of Jarrod.

Putting his hand on the back of Jarrod’s neck, the hazel eyes blazed with emotion and he smiled, “Thanks, Pappy.”

Smiling slightly, Jarrod nodded and cleared his throat. “What time was everyone else coming?”

Taking out his pocket watch, Nick sighed, “They’re probably in the waiting room now. You want to go out there? Or we can wait here.”

“No, I think Mother would be expecting us to be with her and the others.” said Jarrod softly walking over to the door with Nick following.

Entering the waiting room, the two brothers joined the other family members in the wait for news. Nick paced the room, his steps the same as the day before, his trail in carpet becoming clearer with each passing minute.

Taking out his watch, he frowned at the time and asked, “Mother, didn’t Dr. Stiles say they’d be done by nine?”

“He said maybe Nick if they didn’t run into any complications.” replied Victoria, startled at the draining of color in the tanned face. “Nick, are you okay?”

Nick put his watch back into the vest pocket and mumbled on his way to the door, “I just need some fresh air. Be back in a minute.”

Leaving the confused family members behind, Nick moved to the window at the end of the hall and opened it, allowing a bit of the morning air to reach his face. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he turned and stared.

“You are feeling okay?”

“I’m, uh, I’m fine, I just needed some air. Heath’s in surgery.” stammered Nick, his tongue not working properly.

“Ah, yes I know.”

Looking down the hallway, Nick sighed in relief at the emptiness, “Caine, you shouldn’t be here. Police officers are posted to guard my brothers. Heath’ll be upset if you get caught!”

A smile graced the peaceful face and the brown eyes twinkled, “I shall leave and see my friend in two days.”

“What?” stated Nick in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Even a tiger should not enter a journey into darkness alone.” stated Caine with a shrug.

Puzzled, Nick watched Caine bow slightly and turn away. Running his hands over his face, he shook his head at the words and startled at the sudden disappearance of the strange Shaolin priest when he turned his eyes back to the hallway.

Closing the window, he walked back to the waiting room and resumed his pacing, wondering if the hallway encounter which seemed to be real was only part of his imagination.

Dr. Stiles entered the room and smiled at the anxious looks. Remaining standing, he cleared his throat. “Heath is out of surgery and in the recovery room.”

A collective sigh of relief filled the small room and quick prayers sent upwards before Hiriam asked, “And the procedure?”

“We did have a complication which was unforeseen however, everything else went as planned.” stated Dr. Stiles.

“What complication, Dr. Stiles?” inquired Victoria nervously.

“When we reached Heath’s vertebrae body, there was evidence of an old hairline fracture on the vertebrae which was compressed. This is the injury Heath received in Carterson. This was the same vertebrae injured when he was thrown out of the hotel window last year. We were able to bring it back to it’s original height. With the vertreboplasty, it will be stronger than it has been since the war.”

“That’s wonderful news!” exclaimed Jim squeezing the hands he held of Victoria and Hiriam. “Heath should be just fine, then?”

Nodding, Dr. Stiles smiled, “Heath will need to wear a brace for several weeks but I am confident he will have no problems during his recovery.”

“Can we see him?” asked several family members at once.

Dr. Stiles shook his head. “Only one of you can come into the recovery room. Heath is still unconscious from the anesthesia but seeing a familiar face when he wakes would be good.”

“Nick, you go with Dr. Stiles.” stated Hiriam with a smile, catching Victoria’s gaze with his own.

Shocked, Nick shook his head, “No, it should be you or Mother, Hiriam.”

Walking over, Victoria took his large hands in hers and smiled, “Go on, Nick. You’ve been here from the beginning with both your brothers. It is only right you be there when Heath wakes and be the first to see his recovery. Go on.”

Nodding, the hazel eyes welled up with gratitude and he placed a kiss on her cheek, “Thank you, Mother.”

Shaking the hands of his uncle and Heath’s grandfather, Nick followed the doctor to the recovery room. Taking a deep breath, he entered and walked over to the table where his little brother lay asleep on his stomach. A white sheet covered his back and his arms were laying by his side, his face was turned to the right.

Placing a kiss on the blonde’s forehead, Nick sat in the chair by the bed and smiled at the face which was peaceful, pain free, almost boyish in sleep.

“I’m here little brother, just like your shadow.”

Chapter 35

Nick sat beside the bed and watched a nurse check the bandage on Heath’s back before pulling the sheet up to its prior place. He returned her smile before she departed, once again leaving the brothers alone.

Looking at his watch, Nick frowned and put the timepiece back in his pocket. He’d only been waiting thirty minutes but it felt like hours.

Leaning back in the chair, he rubbed his hands over his face and entwined his fingers behind his neck. Staring up at the ceiling, he recalled the nightmare and shivered from the terror he remembered when he thought death had stolen his brother from him.

Standing, he paced the small room, encircling the bed where the blonde lay unaware of the agitation in his older brother at this moment. Nick stopped his pacing and tapped his fingers against his legs.

Sitting back in the chair, he brushed a strand of hair back from the closed eyes and sighed deeply. Leaning towards the relaxed face, he whispered, “Heath? Heath?”

Not receiving a response to his whisper, Nick grunted and slouched in the chair, his boot tapping the floor while he stared at the ceiling.

A slight sound reached Nick’s ears and he scrambled forward in his chair, staring at the face on the bed. Hazel eyes scanned the tanned face and a wide smile lit up his face at the movement beneath the closed eyelids.

“Heath?” encouraged Nick softly, brushing his hand down the blonde’s hair and letting it come to rest on a bare shoulder.

Moaning, Heath heard the sound of his brother’s voice and tried to move towards it. Grimacing slightly, he reached backwards intent on grabbing the object causing pain, his hand was stopped on it’s way.

“No, don’t do that, Heath.” ordered Nick keeping a hold of the searching hand. “Open your eyes, boy. Com’n, let’s see those baby blues.”

Forcing himself to concentrate on opening his eyelids, Heath sighed with relief when he saw the face of his brother looming beside him. A slight smile curved up his lips and he mumbled.

Unable to catch all the mumbled words, Nick was still able to understand the message and chuckled. “People won’t think we’re dating cause I’m holding your hand, smart ass.”

“S’good, twit brain.” replied Heath blinking his eyes to try to wake further, shivering slightly. “Cold in here, Nick.”

The nurse who was updating the chart outside the door walked over with a blanket and smiled at the concerned face of the relative.

“Some people feel cold when they come out of anesthesia, it’s perfectly normal. I’ll be right back with the doctor.” assured the nurse before leaving.

Relaxing at her words, Nick nodded and smiled at the clearer blue eyes looking at him. “Better, little brother?”

“Yeah.” said Heath, clenching his jaw at the twinge of pain in his back.

“Hurt much?” whispered Nick.

Heath winked, “Bout as much as one of your girlie punches.”

The reply of his older brother was halted when the physician entered the room and walked over to the bed. Examining the stitches on Heath’s back, he walked around and stood at the side of the bed. Kneeling down so his patient could see him, Dr. Stiles smiled.

“Mr. Thomson, nice to see you awake. Any nausea?”

“No, doc.” replied Heath before hesitantly asking, “Well?”

“Looks good, Heath, real good. I want you to go back to sleep. In a few hours, we’ll get you up on your feet and try out your legs.” stated the physician with a pat on the broad shoulder at the relief in the sapphire eyes. “We can give you something for the pain from the incision if you need it.”

“No, I’ve had enough of being twitbrained doc.” replied Heath firmly.

Smiling and nodding, the physician squeezed his shoulder before leaving the room. Nick sat back in the chair and grinned at the face before him.

“I’ll be right here, little brother. Go to sleep, I’m not going anywhere.” assured Nick, taking hold of the strong hand again.

Squeezing the hand holding his, Heath smiled gratefully, “I know, Nick. Thanks.”

Closing his eyes, Heath quickly fell back into sleep, his hand firmly clasped in his brother’s.

Chapter 36

Entering the waiting room, Dr. Stiles smiled into the faces of the waiting family. “Heath is awake and coherent. He has some pain from his incision and does not want any pain medicine.”

“That’s wonderful, Dr. Stiles.” beamed Victoria taking hold of the physician’s hands. “We can’t thank you enough for helping Heath.”

Shaking his head, Dr. Stiles smiled, “Dr. Stanton and the others here at the hospital deserve all the thanks, Mrs. Barkley. If they were not competent, the outcome could have been far worse for Heath.”

“Nonetheless, we are grateful, Dr. Stiles.” assured Hiriam firmly. “Please may we see Heath?”

“One at a time and only for a few minutes. I’ve told Heath to go back to sleep and in a few hours, we’ll have him up on his feet. I’ll have one of the nurses show you to the recovery room.” informed the physician before leaving the family alone.

Jim hugged his sister-in-law and smiled widely, “Vic, I’ll go let Jarrod and Eugene know the good news.”

“Thank you, Jim.” smiled Victoria. “We’ll wait for you three before we go to the recovery room.

Three hours later, Dr. Stiles and Dr. Stanton entered the room where Nick sat watching Heath sleep. Smiling to the physicians, Nick stood up and stepped away from the bed.

“He hasn’t stirred.” informed Nick quietly. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, Mr. Barkley, you may stay and help us get Heath onto his feet.” stated Dr. Stiles leaning over the sleeping man. “Heath wake up, now.”

After a few more urgings, Dr. Stiles smiled into the drowsy sapphire eyes looking at him in confusion which changed to recognition.

Raising a hand and rubbing his eyes, Heath yawned, “Hi doc.”

“Heath, you ready to stand up?” questioned Dr. Stiles.

“Boy howdy, I sure am.” sighed Heath.

Motioning to Nick and Dr. Stanton, the physician explained, “Now, Heath, let us do the work and don’t be surprised if your legs don’t won’t hold your body weight right away. You’ve been on your back for weeks, okay?”

Nodding, Heath swallowed the lump of fear which appeared suddenly in his throat and took a deep breath to calm himself. Nick clenched his hands together and took a shaky breath to quiet the nervousness in his stomach.

Working together, Nick and Dr. Stanton held Heath by the arms in a sitting position on the bed. Heath’s face paled when he experienced a rush of vertigo at the upright position.

Closing his eyes, he fought the nausea threatening and his body trembled in response to the foreign position. Clenching his jaw against the pain of the incision in his back, he took shallow breaths to steady himself.

“Heath, you let me know when you’re ready.” stated Dr. Stiles quietly standing in front of the blonde.

Several minutes passed before Heath opened his eyes and nodded. Smiling, Dr. Stiles grabbed Heath under the arms and lifted him onto his feet. Nick and Dr. Stanton increased their hold on the muscular arms when Heath’s legs gave out, his gasp of pain frightening his older brother.

Fighting the wobbly feeling in his legs, Heath clenched his jaws tightly and took a deep breath, concentrating on getting his legs to obey his wishes. Sweat broke out on his forehead and a smile spread across his face when he forced his legs to take the weight of his body.

“Heath, the boys are gonna keep a hold on you and I’m going to put this brace around your back.” instructed Dr. Stiles holding up the brace for Heath to see.

“What the hell is that?” growled Heath through clenched teeth, his eyes glaring at the piece of material.

“This is the brace you need to wear for a few weeks, Heath.” informed Dr. Stiles with puzzlement. “Remember, we talked about this. You need to support your back for a while until it’s fully healed.”

Shaking his head, Heath snapped, “Doc, that looks like a woman’s corset! There ain’t no way I’m wearing that!”

Chuckling at the red-faced physician, Nick teased, “Well, little brother, it’ll certainly match your long hair.”

Looking over to glare at his brother, Heath snapped, “Shut up, twit brain!”

Laughing, Nick smiled and winked, the fire in the blue eyes warming his heart immensely.

“Heath, I can assure you it is not a corset! No one will know you have it on since it’ll be under your shirt.” stated Dr. Stiles calmly.

“I don’t care what you call it doc, I know what it looks like.” replied Heath shaking off the hands holding him, standing on his shaky legs.

Rolling his eyes, Nick growled and motioned the physicians away. Waiting til the doctors moved to the end of the room, Nick stared into the defiant eyes and leaned forward, whispering in the blonde’s ear.

“Heath, if you don’t wear that thing, Dr. Stiles won’t let you leave this room.” threatened Nick, grabbing his little brother by the arms when he teetered slightly. “Besides, how are we supposed to help Jarrod if you’re flat on your back again?”

Nick was surprised at the shamed look which flew into the sapphire eyes at his words.

Heath sighed deeply and retorted, "So help me Nicholas Barkley, if you say one word about wearing women’s undergarments, they won’t find your body in a million years!”

Chuckling, Nick grinned, “You have my word, little brother. No matter how tempting it’ll be, I’ll leave those thoughts unspoken.”

Smirking, Heath replied, “You not blurting out what’s on your mind will be something new, Nicholas.”

“Oh, just one more thing, don’t call me Nicholas.” winked Nick looking over at the physicians and motioning them over with his head.

Carefully wrapping the brace around Heath’s back, Dr. Stiles stood back and nodded. Nick and Dr. Stanton held onto Heath’s arms while the first wobbly steps back into independence were taken around the room.

“How does it feel, Heath?” asked the physician minutes later watching Heath’s first unassisted steps around the room.

“Feels like I’m just learning to walk.” replied Heath with a shake of his head. “Other than that, it’s okay.”

“Good!” exclaimed Dr. Stiles with a wide smile. “Let’s put your shirt on and you can walk out to see your family.”

Helping his little brother into a shirt, Nick smiled into the sapphire eyes. “Welcome back to the land of the walking.”

Heath grabbed the back of Nick’s neck and swallowed the lump in his throat, his words full of emotion.

“I couldn’t have made it without you by my side, Nick. Thanks, brother!”

Chapter 37

Standing back, Nick studied the man before him and nodded, “I think you’re fit for decent company now.”

Rolling his eyes, Heath snorted, “Hope you don’t consider yourself to be in that category, Nick.”

Grinning, Nick moved out of the way and let Dr. Stiles approach the blonde. “How does the brace feel, Heath?”

Heath replied, “It doesn’t feel too good over the stitches, but I’ll live, doc.”

“Well, those should be able to come out in a week or two and as long as you keep them covered, the brace won’t chaff them.” explained Dr. Stiles. “Now no heavy lifting or riding horses for at least seven weeks, Heath.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t Dr. Stiles.” asserted Nick firmly. “The whole family will make sure of it.”

Nodding, the physician smiled, “You have your freedom but don’t over exert yourself, Heath. You can’t be a walking advertisement for my handiwork if you end up back in a hospital bed.”

Chuckling, Heath flashed the physician a lop-sided grin and extended his hand, “Thanks for everything, Dr. Stiles. Thanks to you too, Dr. Stanton. Hope you don’t mind if, well, if I don’t say I look forward to seeing either of you again.”

The two medicine men took turns shaking the hand of their patient and left the room, their laughter following them. Sighing, Nick squeezed the blonde’s shoulder.

“Heath, I forgot to tell you when you were in the operating room, Caine was here.” stated Nick.

“Really?” replied Heath quietly adjusting the cuff on his sleeve, glancing upwards with unreadable eyes.

“Yeah, he said he’d see you in two days. What’s that about?” questioned Nick staring intensely into the closed off eyes. “He said something about you not taking a journey alone.”

Closing his eyes for a brief moment, Heath let his mind travel backwards in time and a smile lifted the side of his mouth. Opening his eyes, he looked into the concerned hazel eyes and replied, “Mother ain’t gonna like what I have planned, Nick.”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Nick snapped angrily, “You’re more worried about Mother than me, little brother? What if I don’t like what you have planned for Jarrod? He’s my brother, too!”

Grabbing the back of Nick’s neck, Heath gave him a light shake, his firm voice leaving no question in his older brother’s mind.

“Nick, I didn’t think I’d have to ask, I just assumed you’d be willing to do whatever it takes to help Jarrod. He’s our Pappy and we need to bring him back to us!”

Nick felt the words taking away the fear in his heart and he nodded. The sapphire eyes were blazing with determination while they stared into the hazel eyes of his brother.

“You’re right, little brother, I’ll help anyway I can.” assured Nick.

Heath hesitated and then spoke quietly, “You gotta understand something right now, Nick. It’s not gonna be easy and it won’t happen over night. As much as I’d like you to be with us each step of the way, we also have responsibility to the Barkley holdings and the rest of the family, just like we discussed earlier this week. We can’t leave Duke to run the ranch indefinitely, especially, since he’s been doing it all these past weeks you’ve been with us down here.”

Yeah, I know. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, too. I just want our brother back, Heath.” whispered Nick, his anguish clear in his lowered voice.

“So do I, Nick.” replied Heath sadly. “I’ve been where he is, big brother and I know what he’s facing.”

Nodding, Nick wrapped his arms around the blonde and whispered, “I trust you to do whatever you need to, Heath. I’ll do what I can.”

Patting the black vested back, Heath sighed and looked into the hazel eyes. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow, Nick. We’re going back to the mission.”

“I’ll take care of the train tickets today and get some supplies together.” offered Nick. “Then, I’ll wire Duke and tell him I’ll be home in a week. I can at least make sure you two get there in one piece and stay a couple days.”

“Good, Nick. I’ll speak with Jarrod first and then Mother later today about it.” stated Heath, his mind already off into the next day.

“Heath, you will try to stay out of trouble, won’t you?” teased Nick with a smile.

“For you, anything big brother.” grinned Heath.

Chuckling, Nick tousled the blonde hair and winked, “Ready for your debut?”

“Boy howdy, am I ever!” exclaimed Heath happily leading the way to the door and opening it. Stepping out into the hallway, his eyes lit up as he glimpsed the waiting family members and walked over into his mother’s arms.

Victoria wrapped her arms around her blonde son, her gray eyes spilling out tears of happiness and relief. Pulling back, Heath’s sapphire eyes glistened with emotion and his fingers caressed her cheek tenderly before placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin, his whispered voice husky . “Mother.”

Holding onto his arms, Victoria smiled tenderly, her heart full at the sight of her walking boy. “Heath, it’s so wonderful to see you on your feet.”

Flashing a lop-sided grin, Heath drawled, “Well, I couldn’t very well leave Nick running the ranch alone. He may have turned it into a sheep ranch instead of a cattle ranch.”

Laughing heartily at the growled comments from the dark haired rancher, the family gratefully took turns welcoming the blonde back into their fold. Jarrod stood against the wall, fist clenched tightly and a small smile on his face at the reunion before him.

Standing in front of his attorney brother, Heath blinked back the tears which threatened to fall at the lost look in the ocean eyes, a look he’d seen in his own eyes in the past. Pulling Jarrod into his arms, he patted the back of the shaking man and felt his arms slowly encase him.

“I promised and I’m here to help you find the way out of the darkness, Pappy.” whispered Heath feeling Jarrod’s arms tighten around him and his head nod. “We leave tomorrow.”

The family watched the moment between the two brothers wondering at the whispered words in Jarrod’s ear which caused him to nod his head and his eyes to flash with hope.

Nick wiped his eyes and cleared his throat of the lump constricting him, looking down at his mother holding onto his arm.

Leaning over, he placed a kiss on her cheek and whispered, “Mother, all your boys will be home before you know it. Trust Heath.”

Squeezing the muscular arm of her son, Victoria leaned into him more and welcomed the strength he offered. Her eyes not leaving her other two sons walking away, Heath’s arm across Jarrod’s shoulder, talking quietly and earnestly to her first born as they entered his room.

Chapter 38

Keeping his arm over his big brother, Heath slowly walked beside Jarrod down the hallway and into his room, his whispered reassurances only for the lawyer’s ears and no one else’s.

Closing the door behind them, Heath sat in the chair by the bed and studied Jarrod who shifted slightly from the intense eyes.

“Jarrod, if we’re gonna do this, I need you to gain some of your strength back.” said Heath quietly. “I need you to try to eat more than you have been.”

Looking away, Jarrod raised a shaky hand to his face and rubbed it before nodding. “I’ll try Heath, but I’m not hungry. Nothing seems appealing to me. The thought of food makes me nauseous.”

Heath replied, “That’s cause you’ve gone with just a small amount for so long, your stomach’s not used to it. I need you to start trying, Pappy. We have a journey ahead of us and you’ll need nourishing food to help you.”

Sighing, the ocean eyes turned back and stared into the sapphire eyes before falling downwards. “Heath, I tried to find the hope but I couldn’t do it.”

Reaching over, Heath smiled, “We’ll find it together Jarrod. You won’t have to do it alone.”

Smiling slightly, Jarrod nodded and leaned back on his bed. His body felt as foreign to him as another language did to his ears. He’d always been a strong man physically but now his hands trembled unendlessly, his muscles were fatigued constantly, his innards lunged like Mexican jumping beans inside him.

His mind exhausted him, stealing away into the dark recesses of it during sleep, bringing the torment back to the forefront of his memory. It was easier to stay awake than it was to let sleep overcome him and the torture to reoccur.

The only thing keeping him going was a promise. A promise made from one brother to another brother. A promise of light, a promise of brotherhood, a promise to regain what was once his.

“Jarrod, I have to speak with Mother. Will you be okay if I send Audra in?” asked Heath.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” replied Jarrod softly.

Standing by the bed, Heath grasped the hand clench firmly around the tiger symbol and promised before leaving the room. “Remember, I’ll be with you every step of the way, Jarrod.”

Leaving the room, Heath requested Audra sit with Jarrod for a while. Smiling, she kissed his cheek and left the waiting area. Sitting at the table with his mother, grandfather and uncle, he smiled and took the hand of his Mother, offering a gentle squeeze before he spoke.

“I have something to say and I want ya’ll to hear me out before you say anything.” stated Heath quietly receiving puzzled looks and nods of agreement.

Taking a deep calming breath, he shifted in the chair and looked into the faces of his elders.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be checking Jarrod out of the hospital. We’re going on a trip. Nick will ride with us to make sure we get to the mission and he’ll stay for a couple days before heading back to the ranch. Mother, I’d like you to take Gene and Audra back to Stockton. Grandfather, I’d like you to return back east to finish your visit. Uncle Jim, it’s been a pleasure to meet and get to know you, but I’d like you to return to Colorado.”

informed Heath firmly, his eyes searching each pair of eyes as he spoke their names and his stated his wishes.

Silence filled the room for several minutes before anyone spoke. The shock in their eyes apparent to the former marshal, their thoughts their own, unable to be read.

“Heath, do you honestly think you or Jarrod are up to a trip at this moment?” inquired Hiriam. “You just had surgery and your face is pale now from just the small amount of walking you’ve done.”

“Your grandfather’s right, Heath.” agreed Victoria. “I don’t know if you have the energy to go anywhere. Maybe you should wait a week or so.”

Heath looked into the eyes of his Uncle, waiting for him to speak, surprised when the man winked and smiled. “You will come out to Colorado to meet the rest of your relatives when you and Jarrod return, won’t you?”

Nodding, Heath’s eyes glistened with pride, “It’d be an honor, sir. Thank you.”

Flashing a grin to his nephew, Jim added, “Your father would have been proud of you, Heath. Proud of his son who is going to help his brother find his way back. I have every faith that you will. Your strength and courage are what will help Jarrod during his recovery.”

“Thank you, Uncle Jim.” whispered Heath, his voice trembling with emotion at the words. Pushing himself out of the chair, he held onto the back of it and took several deep breaths before looking up.

“Mother, Jarrod and I need to go away to a place where the silence will help him find himself. He’s lost somewhere inside himself and if we don’t take this trip now, he may never come back to be the Jarrod we all know and love. Am I promising a miracle, no I’m not. All I’m promising is he won’t be alone and I’ll do whatever I can to help him find his way back.”

Crying silently, Victoria shook her head in agreement and wiped her eyes with a lace hanky. Hiriam’s eyes filled with love and devotion for his grandson, a man who’d gamble all he had for the chance to save another. Nodding, he added his agreement with a wide smile.

“It’s gonna be difficult to not know how Jarrod is doing and I can’t even tell you how long we’ll be gone. It may be weeks or it may be months, I don’t know.” informed Heath quietly. “Just know that however long it is, he won’t ever be alone.”

Standing, Victoria embraced her blonde son and cried softly. “Just take care of yourself too, Heath. You don’t want to do anything to threaten your future at the expense of helping your brother.”

Kissing her silver hair, Heath returned her hug and promised, “I’ll be careful, Mother. We’re taking the train and Nick’ll be with us for the first few days.”

Everyone in the room turned to the doorway when Nick entered with Lt. Paulson. Heath saw the look in the police officer’s eyes and nodded, “Cory, what’s going on?”

Smiling at the blonde on his feet, Cory made his way over and shook his hand, “Heath, wonderful to see you back on your feet.”

“Thanks, Cory.” grinned Heath slightly. “Is this a social visit by chance?”

“No, I’m afraid not. Sam Ling was killed in jail last night by a member of a rival Tong. They try to keep them apart but someone made a mistake.” informed Cory, the gasps of the family members their only response.

“I’ve sent a notice to the district attorney and he’ll work with the federal authorities to decide whether they need the Jenkins boy’s testimony or not. Mia Ling’s arraignment is scheduled for tomorrow. Nick, here tells me you and Jarrod are going out of town?”

Frowning at the lieutenant’s news, Heath nodded, “Yeah, we are. Jim Fetterson will know how to get a hold of us if he needs to.”

“I just wanted to let you know the news personally. Do you want me to keep the guards posted tonight?”

“Just on Jarrod’s room.” smiled Heath gratefully, extending his hand. “Thanks for everything, Cory.”

Accepting the thanks of the former marshal, the lieutenant left the family alone with their thoughts. The day passed quickly with the making and completion of plans. The next morning arrived in a blink of an eye, teary farewells were given and the three brothers climbed into the car of the train.

Sitting together, Jarrod looked out the window, Nick watched Heath and Heath watched Jarrod.

At the end of the car, through a window in the door, two eyes watched all three brothers. The three brothers were unaware of the scrutiny they were receiving as the train rumbled down the set of rails.

Chapter 39

The afternoon sun was lowering in the horizon, it’s rays casting across the blue body of salt when three brothers arrived at the mission of San Reyes. The adobe building, built before any of the men were a twinkle in their daddy’s eyes, was bathed in the colorful orange light of the falling ball.

Breathing deeply, Heath climbed down and held onto the side of the rented surrey for a brief moment, allowing his legs to accept his weight. Nick saw the movement and frowned, concern flashing in his hazel eyes when he glanced at Heath.

Heath saw the look of concern and gruffed, “Boy howdy, Nick! Could you hit any more pot holes on the way here?”

Rolling his eyes, Nick growled under his breath and jumped down after Jarrod. “Next time you drive smart as…oh, hi padre.”

Padre Sanchez shook the hands of the three brothers and smiled, “It is wonderful to see you again.”

The men returned the greeting of welcome before Heath walked a few steps away with the man of the cloth. “Is the cabin ready, Padre?”

“Yes and here is the key.” stated the padre placing the piece of metal in the former marshal’s hand. “Heath, you are welcome to stay here and enjoy our sanctuary.”

Smiling gratefully, Heath nodded, “Thank you, Padre. Your generosity and caring is without question, however, the cabin will suit our purpose just fine.”

Nodding, the man bowed slightly to all the brothers, “Please let me know if you need anything.”

Nick walked around back for the bags, stopping in confusion when Heath told Jarrod they would walk while Nick drove.

“Where are we going?” asked Nick curiously.

“Nick, just follow this trail and we’ll meet you at the end.” instructed Heath, motioning for Jarrod to walk with him. “It probably hasn’t been used in years, so be careful you don’t break an axle.”

Nick stared at his departing brothers and shook his head. Sighing, he watched them til they disappeared into the trees and climbed up onto the seat. Flicking the reins, he followed the overgrown trail, cursing when a branch slapped him in the face and brought tears to his eyes from the stinging sensation.

Reaching the end, he climbed down and tied off the horses, glancing around for his brothers. Hearing the sound of movement in the trees, Nick slipped the thong off his pistol and sighed in relief at the sight of Heath emerging from the brush.

“Where’s Jarrod?”

“He’s at the cabin, Nick. Here, I’ll help ya’ carry the stuff.” said Heath reaching into the back of the wagon, howling when his hand was slapped and he shook it to stop the pain.

“You know what the doctor said, Heath. Dammit, you’re so stubborn sometimes.” snapped Nick angrily. “If I even think you’re not gonna follow his orders, I’m staying!”

Holding up his hands in mock surrender, Heath backed away from the wagon. “Alright, Mr. Grouchy. I was just going to bring in the pillows. But, please be my guest and carry everything in.”

Taking a calming deep breath, Nick frowned, “Why you didn’t tell me you were gonna stay in some cabin and not at the mission?”

Glaring into the hazel eyes, Heath crossed his arms across his chest and tilted his head, “Judging from your reaction now, I think you can guess why, big brother.”

“You’ll be out here alone, Heath. What if something happens?” worried Nick.

Heath’s face softened at Nick’s tone and he stepped forward to put his hands on the broad shoulders. “Nick, the mission isn’t as far away as it may seem and I need privacy to help Jarrod. I promise, I’ll be careful. Please don’t worry, okay?”

Sighing in defeat, Nick nodded “Well, let’s get back to Jarrod.”

Handing the pillows to Heath, Nick watched while he stuffed them under his left arm, keeping his right arm free and by his gun. Heath caught the look and shrugged, “Old habits die hard, big brother.”

Grabbing a couple bags, Nick followed Heath through the brush into the clearing which housed the small cabin. Stepping out of the trees, he sucked in his breath suddenly at the sight before him.

The cabin on the cliff stood facing the ocean, it’s porch contained two chairs. Jarrod’s face looked almost peaceful as he sat in the chair and stared out into the blue waters. Sea gulls cried out as they flew over the ocean waters hoping for a small fish to appear. The waves crashed against the rocks, the water jumped into the air when the two objects met.

“It’s beautiful.” whispered Nick in awe of the beauty before him. The scene contained all the mastery of mother nature’s work.

Smiling, Heath nodded, “Yes and it has a quiet, calming effect on one’s soul.”

Looking sideways, Nick studied the profile of his younger brother and wondered how different his life would have been had he not ridden into Stockton. Shaking off the feelings his thoughts generated, he put the bags in the cabin and made short work of obtaining the other items from the surrey.

“Heath, what about the horses?”

“We’ll have to take them and the surrey back to the mission, Nick. Jarrod, why don’t you go with Nick and then you can show him the way back through the trees?”

The surprise in the ocean eyes was alarming when Jarrod looked up. Smiling, Heath winked at his older brother. “I’ll be here when you get back. I’m gonna start dinner cause I sure don’t want to eat Nick’s cooking, do you?”

“No.” smiled Jarrod slightly after Nick’s loud complaining. Heath waited til Nick turned the rig and was driving away before holding onto a tree and breathing deeply.

The journey on the train and the ride in the surrey sapping his strength immensely. Allowing the pain to fly across his face, Heath took several minutes before straightening and turning, his hand flew downwards to his gun before he stopped and snapped.

“Caine, how many times have I told you not to do that!”

Shrugging, the priest replied, “Many.”

Smirking, Heath held the priest’s hands in his own. “It is good to see you, Caine. You’re looking well.”

“Yes, much better than you.” replied Caine turning towards the cabin with Heath following slowly. Staring out at the ocean together, Heath let the salt air wash over him and drank in it’s taste. He hadn’t been near the ocean in years and hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed it until now.

Caine laid a hand on the broad shoulder of the man next to him and said, “You were right to bring your brother here.”

Heath answered, “I only hope I’m strong enough for what has to be done.”

Reaching into his pouch, the priest took hold of Heath’s hand and put a container in his palm. “Drink this tea with your meals. It will help with the pain of your body. For your heart, you need nothing. Your heart and soul have always been strong.”

The matter of fact tone of voice, void of emotion were one of the attributes Heath had felt drawn to in the quiet man when they first met. His words of praise were not mere mouthing but words of truth which the former marshal accepted with a slight bowing of his head. His eyes blinking back the emotions churning in them.

Scrunching up his face, Heath sighed, “Caine, you know I don’t like tea.”

A smile lit up the brown eyes of the Shaolin and he shrugged, “Ah, one of life’s many burdens to overcome.”

“Thank you Caine.” grinned Heath watching the priest walk off before entering the cabin to start dinner.

Throwing together a quick dinner, Heath listened for the sounds of his brothers approaching. Entering the cabin, Nick smelled the aroma in the room and asked, “I sure hope that smell isn’t dinner.”

“No, it’s not!” retorted Heath indicating the food on the table. “This is some tea I have to drink.”

“TEA!” exclaimed Nick in disbelief looking inside the tea kettle, wrinkling his nose at the smell. “I’d hate to tell you what it smells like.”

Jarrod sat at the table and wondered, “Heath, do you like tea?”

Nick smiled at the question and glanced towards the blonde who sighed, “No, but sometimes the medicine is worse than the cure. Or so I heard something like that at one time.”

“Actually the saying is when the cure is worse than the sickness.” corrected Jarrod softly, not seeing the look of happiness in the two sets of his brothers’ eyes as he stared down at his plate and the food on the table. The one sentence more words than he had spoken since leaving the hospital.

Sitting at the table, Nick cleared his throat and admitted, “You were right, the mission isn’t far away from here, Heath.”

“No, just a few minutes walking.” informed Heath pushing his food around on his plate. “This cabin was used as a lookout post for ships coming up the coast. The guard here would warn the mission of any incoming ships. A lot of pirating and looting was going on back in those days. Still is, I guess. Anyway, that’s why this cabin is here. It’s a perfect place to offer seclusion and relaxation.”

After dinner, the brothers took off their boots and rolled up the legs of their jeans. Walking down the sandy beach in the moonlight, Jarrod felt for the first time a sense of calm seeping in him since the fated event of so long ago.

Returning to the cabin and settling in for the night, Nick’s snores could be heard throughout the small room while the other two men struggled to stay awake. One struggled to keep the terror at bay, his eyes slowly closing from the salt air weaving it’s magic on him. The other wanted the terror to come and show itself to be the enemy it was.

Destroying the terror housed in the mind of his brother was the only way the journey to darkness would ever be completed.

Chapter 40

Opening his eyes, Heath tried to discern the source of the noise which woke him. He heard the familiar snoring of Nick and instinctively knew his sawing of wood was not the culprit. Sitting up carefully, he tilted his head and listened to the sounds of the night melody, while chastising himself for succumbing to sleep when he wanted to stay awake.

The crashing of waves onto the rocks, the sound of seagulls crying out to each other, the breeze rustling the leaves of the trees, bringing in the smell of salt water and the whimpering of a child. Heath tuned out everything his ears heard, focusing in on the whimpering and carefully opened the curtain on the window to let the moonlight filter into the cabin.

Kneeling by Nick’s side, Heath reached over and clamped a hand over his mouth. The snoring ceased, startled eyelids flew open and the whites of his eyes could be seen in the faint light. Heath put a finger to his lips and motioned to their brother, sleeping and whimpering in his state of dreaming.

Nick nodded and quietly climbed up from the floor, rubbing his eyes and taking a seat in the chair beside the table. Heath stood beside his partner and waited, unable to take his eyes off the eldest man in the room.

Heath himself was familiar with the staying awake techniques Jarrod was utilizing to keep the nightmares which came with sleep away. Taking brief catnaps in the day could keep a person going and keep a person awake during the hours of darkness. This worked until the body simply couldn’t keep functioning on the small amount of rest and demanded sleep to replenish itself. When the body demanded, even the strongest of people couldn’t override it.

Nick felt the nervousness, the readiness in his little brother standing beside him and placed a strong hand gently on the small of his back, his fingers felt the brace under his shirt. Looking up, he smiled into the face glancing down at him and offered what support he could in the early morning hours as they waited for sleep to terrorize their oldest brother.

Returning the smile of support with a slight grin, Heath nodded before turning his eyes back to the man on the other side of the room whose head had started to move restlessly on the bed. Heath stepped closer and felt Nick beside him.

This was why the brothers were here. This was why they needed to come to a place of solitude.

A place where the magic in the air would work itself around their exhausted tormented brother. A place where the terror could come forth from the dark recesses of one’s mind and be dealt with. A place of darkness which could take away everything and leave nothing in its wake.

This was a place Heath’d been before, twice in his short lifetime. Once the darkness of living through Carterson would have stolen him away if it had not been for the challenge of taking the right way from Frank Sawyer. The challenge created a spark of life within the man seeking a way to death’s door. The gauntlet had been thrown down at his feet and the minutes ticked away before he let the anticipation of a challenge allow him to take one small step away from the path he’d set for himself, away from the darkness. Once he accepted the challenge, the sheriff stepped in to help the boy turned too quickly into a man when the nightmares sought to destroy his friend and deputy.

The second time was the bleakest in his life, the time of his mama’s murder, the act of violence his marshal status couldn’t stop or prevent. The anger which Heath seemed to have accompanied him since birth came rushing back and compounded by his massive complex of guilt, left him unable to function as a civilized person in society. The rage was taking over, fueled on by the numbness and sense of loss in his soul. This place and the teachings of a gentle man guided the former marshal back to a place where he was finally able to accept and move on past the darkness.

This was why they were here, standing in the early morning hours and waiting for their beloved brother to relive his terror at the hands of others.

They needed him to relive it in order to set the wheels of acceptance in motion. They needed him to relive it in order to cast away the dark thoughts, the demons in his mind and move on with the future, one step at a time. Until they did that, there would be no future for the eldest Barkley son.

At least not a future such as the past had been. The past had been filled with confidence, passion and challenges. If the darkness persisted, the future would be bleak and disparaging, filled with uncertainty and feelings of unworthiness.

Until all the demons were destroyed, there would always be a chance of their brother falling backwards into the euphoria the devil offered. Falling backwards into the devil’s hold would be a fate worse than death. A fate both Heath and Nick would give their right arms to prevent at any cost.

The brothers were set in their goal of togetherness, the goal to bring back the man who they missed with each passing day. The man who had been gone from them for far too long.

When the torment started to seep forth from the dark recesses of Jarrod’s mind, Heath and Nick were stunned by the savagery of the need for the devil’s drink bursting from their unaware brother. The need for the drug left him shaking with desire while the cost of the euphoria left him screaming in pain.

Nick moved towards Jarrod and was propelled backwards by two strong arms of his little brother. Angry he was stopped, Nick glared at the younger man holding him and heard a hissed, “Not yet, Nick.”

Open mouthed Nick’s angry words were cut off by Jarrod’s screams for those who left him in his hell. The tormented screams pierced the heart of the larger man and his shoulders hunched more with each scream for the family looking for him. Tears welled in his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks, his body felt as if a weight of tons was placed on his shoulders.

Heath’s strong arms stopped Nick from comforting Jarrod in his tormented state. The torment had just started and needed to be fully exposed before any good could come from the nightmares. He could feel the anger as he held Nick in his arms, the accusing look in the hazel eyes was met with determination in the sapphire eyes. Heath took the look in stride and was still holding onto Nick when Jarrod was thrust squarely into his full blown torture. Torture he’d been hiding from, torture he’d been running from, torture he was being forced to relive.

From the dark recesses came the thought of loneliness, the thought of abandonment. The seeds for the thoughts planted by those seeking to destroy him. Only when these seeds were revealed did Heath release his shaking brother. Only when these seeds were revealed did Nick see the tears which fell from his little brother’s anguished eyes.

The thrashing of their older brother on the bed caught in the grips of torment ripped into them and gave both a glimpse of the damage done to the man they loved. Kneeling by the side of the bed, Heath grabbed one of the clenched fists and held onto it. His voice was soothing and calm, searching for a way to get past the torment in his brother’s mind, using his voice to erase the doubts planted there. Urging Jarrod to believe they’d find him, believe in the bonds they had as brothers, believe in his strength to shake off the shackles holding him.

Nick ran his hands through the sweat drenched hair, his deep voice filtered through and interwove with the words of the other. The voices flowing with strength and love, reached into the deep recesses and sought to push the darkness away. Their hands clenched their brother’s, their strength reached through and brought the torment to an end.

The ocean eyes saw through the darkness of his torment, it saw through the veil which been placed over them. They saw his salvation on the other side, the faces of his brothers, the faces of the men who protected the hope he’d hidden inside of him from his captors. The faces he saw now and he cried, thankful for the men who hadn’t left him alone and abandoned. They had been looking for him.

They had promised they were coming in his mind and they did.

Chapter 41

The release was draining on the eldest brother who with the revival of the darkness he’d been forced into found the hope he’d buried deep inside. The hope he kept hidden from his captors, using the faces of his two strong brothers to shelter it where it couldn’t be found. Their strong wills had kept his intact, had allowed his to stretch further like a band of rubber, stretching to prevent breakage.

Heath and Nick’s tears reflected their own torment at what Jarrod had gone through. A wound to his inner soul was a wound on their own. An attack against him was an attack against them. His despair was their despair. His fear was their fear. They were brothers through and through, bound by more than just blood and a father.

The step out of the darkness had been taken, now the journey towards completeness could start. The acceptance of what happened was the first in a long line of steps, each leading away and heading towards the light reflecting at the end of the tunnel. One of many steps which was necessary to bring a soul back to the shining glory it was previously.

Nick wiped his eyes and smiled tenderly at his older brother, holding him tightly against his chest. Patting his back gently, his listened to the man who could just months ago caress the words of the English language for dramatic effect in a court room, now spoke with stammers and stutters. The terror unleashed emotions of shame, anger, guilt and fear.

“I’m sorry..I knew you’d come..but I, then I, damn, thought you’d forgotten..you didn’t need me…you had Heath...I gave up on us…I’m sorry.” stammered Jarrod, his thoughts muddled and rushing to the forefront wanting to be released. Heath’s eyes widened with the truth of his brother’s thoughts and he felt a surge of guilt creeping up, glancing up he wondered if Nick had heard the tumbling words.

“Pappy, we’d have gone to the ends of the earth to find you.” assured Nick firmly. “You’re important to all of us! No one of us is more important than the other!”

Holding on tightly to Nick, Jarrod shook his head and closed his eyes, “I’m sorry…god I’m sorry for thinking you wouldn’t come. I should’ve known...I didn’t believe…in us.”

Nick kept his brother locked in his arms, grateful for the chance to wrap his strength and love around his brother. Heath slowly stood up when Jarrod’s even breathing filled the room.

“Let’s lay him down, he’s exhausted.” whispered Heath reaching for Jarrod.

“No!” whispered Nick vehemently, then apologizing with a slight smile at the wounded look in the sapphire eyes at his tone. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I just want to hold him, Heath. I need to hold him! Please!”

The pleading in his brother’s voice sent a quiver through him and Heath grabbed a blanket from his bed to cover his two joined brothers. Receiving a nod of thanks from Nick who leaned back against the wall with Jarrod firmly encased in his arms and closed his eyes to catch some more sleep, ready to deal with the terror when it reared it’s ugly head again.

Heath quietly walked to the door and stepped outside. Leaving the cabin, he headed to the cliff overhang down from the cabin. Sitting on some rocks, he felt the tension slowly work its way out of his body and he breathed deeply, inhaling the calming ocean scent.

They had stood together as brothers on the battlefield and the first battle had been won, with their hands clasped together as brothers, unified in their goal and sharing their strength.

His mind wandered back to when he stayed in this very cabin and found himself again, so long ago. Closing his eyes, he asked for strength and wisdom to help during the upcoming time. The upcoming time which would not be just the scent of roses but filled with plenty of thorns too.

A smile graced his face when the first rays of the rising sun bathed him in warmth. The dawning of a new day. The dawning of a new day full of challenges awaited the brothers.

Taking one last look at the grandeur of the ocean and allowing himself to feel small in its vastness, he climbed to his feet and walked back to the small cabin. Upon entering, his eyes automatically took in the sight of his brothers and a smile lit up his face at the twin sounds of snoring. Sitting at the table, he laid his head on his arms for a moment to rest before starting the new day. The sounds of his relaxed breathing joined with his brothers’ snores in the room, the sleep for the moment was restful and uninterrupted.

Opening his eyes, Nick was confused for the briefest of moments until clarity returned. Glancing downward to the man wrapped in his arms, he felt tears spring into his eyes remembering the nightmare he’d witnessed gripping his pappy. Unwinding an arm, he let his hand caress the dark hair before he gently released Jarrod and lay him on the bed. Covering him with a blanket, he stretched his back and frowned when his ears caught some mumbled words from his little brother asleep at the table.

Placing a hand lightly on a shoulder of the blue shirt, Nick whispered, “Heath, wake up.”

His words not working, his eyes widened at the sweat pouring off his little brother’s face when it turned towards him and he grabbed the shoulder tighter. “Heath!”

Nick jumped as much as Jarrod when the piece of wood went flying backwards into the cabin wall at Heath’s unexpected move when he bolted upright from the chair. Jarrod sat up quickly, his heart pounding from the crashing sound in the cabin, his eyes wide and looking around frantically.

“Dammit, Heath!” yelled Nick angrily, startled out of his wits.

Wide eyed, Heath stared at Nick for a full minute before realizing what must’ve happened and red crept up his neck. Embarrassed for the fright he caused, Heath wiped his face and shook his head. “Sorry.”

Snorting, Nick growled, “I swear, if you’ve hurt yourself, I’m gonna hog-tie you to the bed!”

Jarrod saw a flare of anger in the eyes of his little brother and climbed off the bed. Heath picked up the chair and set it back at the table before moving to the small stove to make breakfast, needing to keep his shaking hands busy.

Nick frowned at the blonde’s back, his voice loaded with worry, “Heath, you okay?”

“I’m fine, Nick.” replied Heath with a sigh. “Coffee’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

“Coffee sounds good.” stated Jarrod quietly drawing Nick’s attention away from one brother to focus it on another. “I’m kinda hungry, how about you, Nick?”

A smile graced the tanned face and Nick winked, “I sure am, Jarrod. I just hope Heath’s not making beans.”

“I should just feed you water and jerky.” drawled Heath. “Lucky for you I didn’t bring any jerky, Nicholas.”

Jarrod smiled at the effect of his little brother’s words on Nick, his fingers trembled slightly as they worked the buttons on his shirt. He felt it inside him, he felt the hope again and he felt tears welling up at the feeling he thought he’d lost forever. His thoughts were interrupted when Heath set the breakfast on the table and Nick called him to the table.

The meal passed in silence, two brothers sharing a chuckle at the look on another’s face when he dutifully drank the tea at his meal. Growling back at their chuckles, Heath scrunched up his face and finished his cup, setting it on the table and shuddering from the aftermath of the taste.

“If you don’t like it, why drink it?” asked Nick.

Rolling his eyes, Heath retorted, “I told you it’s medicine, twit brain. Sometimes you have to do what you don’t like.”

Jarrod put down his fork and sighed at the amount of food he’d eaten. Heath nodded his satisfaction from the effort, his blue eyes sparkled with happiness as they looked into the ocean eyes.

Clearing his throat, Jarrod placed a hand on each of his brother’s arms and squeezed, before whispering quietly. “Thank you both for, well, for last night.”

Patting the hand, Nick’s love reflected in his smile and eyes. “No thanks are necessary, Jarrod.”

“That’s right.” added Heath. “You’d do the same for us without a second thought. Remember, Jarrod, you still have a ways to go.”

“I know.” replied Jarrod. “I still appreciate it though.”

“Just remember you’re not alone, Jarrod. Ever.” assured Heath standing up from the table and reaching for the plates, only to find a hand stopping his.

“We need to change your bandage before we do anything else.” stated Nick firmly, daring the blonde to protest with his hazel eyes. “Jarrod, can you get the stuff out of the bag over there?”

Going to the bag Nick pointed at, Jarrod grabbed the items they’d need and turned around, his eyes wide at the item of clothing around his brother’s back.

“Heath, is that a corset?” stammered Jarrod in shock causing Nick to bust out in laughter and Heath to turn beet red.

“It’s a brace!” snapped Heath before reaching up to rub his forehead. “I’m gonna strangle that damn doctor next time I see him!”

Wiping the tears from his face, Nick shook his head to try to control his laughter and stuttered as he unwrapped the binding, “Jarrod, little brother is, well, a teeny weenie bit oversensitive about his, uh, brace.”

“I’m sorry, Heath.” apologized Jarrod sincerely handing Nick a roll of gauze. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you by blurting it out like that.”

“Jarrod, it’s okay, you didn’t know.” drawled Heath staring into the ocean eyes and smiling, “I only have to wear it for a few weeks. No big deal, big brother. Hell, if I can live with Nick, I can handle anything thrown my way!”

Nick protested the statement with a growl and a smile, his hands gentle as they worked on his brother’s back, replacing the bandages and reapplying the brace.

Jarrod smiled back into the sapphire eyes, seeing only love and a promise of a future looking back at him from the eyes of his father, the eyes in the face of his blonde brother.

Chapter 42

The next morning, Heath watched Nick put an arm over Jarrod’s shoulders and lead his brother down to the beach. His sapphire eyes, thoughtful and concerned, followed the retreating backs of the two men.

The day before spent relaxing in the warm of the day, being lazy but intensely watching his older brother’s reactions, gauging the actions of the man and discussing how the hope he held inside kept him from breaking. Heath realized in order to help Jarrod, he had to relay his own struggles in the darkness, the feelings of unworthiness and anger which had at one time almost engulfed him.

The events of the past he’d never fully disclosed and only lightly skimmed over with his brothers and family, never revealing how close he had really been to ending it all when he met Frank Sawyer.

Heath spoke quietly, not leaving anything out, no emotion was left hidden, no thought kept as a secret. It was all laid out, bare for them to see, feel and experience. The message was clear, the hope inside of Jarrod would see him out of the darkness and into the light, if he worked to conquer his demons. Jarrod’s eyes were wide with hope and concern, Nick’s were full of pain and anger.

The trip into the past exhausting the youngest of the men, emotional exhaustion was far worse than physical exhaustion. The night sky was black and the stars were twinkling overhead when Heath left Nick and Jarrod, seeking sleep to stave off the revived memories.

The night had been a repeat of tormented dreams waking the men from a sound sleep by screams piercing the night air. Rubbing his hands over his face, Heath recalled the nightmare which had gripped him in its intensity, it was his screams which woke Jarrod and Nick. It was his nightmare the brothers calmed him out of, his sapphire eyes anguished before he looked away and stepped into the cool night air to calm his heated skin. Returning inside, he reassured them he was fine and spent the rest of the night lying on his bunk listening to the night sounds.

Closing the cabin door he headed to the mission, his steps deliberately away from those of his brothers. He needed to find a way to put his own guilt away, the guilt which was slicing away at his gut. He couldn’t allow his own feelings to jeopardize the plan he set in motion for Jarrod. He wouldn’t allow it, he wanted Jarrod back not just for himself and the family but for all those who respected and loved him.

Greeting Padre Sanchez, Heath entered the stable and grabbed a curry comb from a wooden box. The padre watched the blonde return to a routine he performed each morning many years ago. The routine established to help the man center himself and focus his mind. Standing in the doorway of the stable for a few minutes, the man of the cloth watched before heading inside the walls of the adobe mission.

Heath let his mind focus on the nightmare sleep had brought out, the clarity of the funeral scene with Jarrod in the coffin sent a shiver up his spine. His stomach repulsed at the scene in his mind, his hands shook as he ran the comb over the horse, his eyes blinked back threatening tears.

Heath knew the source of the nightmare and knew he had to speak with Jarrod or it’d never let go. The guilt would keep wrapping itself tighter and tighter around him, suffocating him. Deciding on his course of action, Heath completed his task and put the comb back in the wooden box. Leaving the stable, he bumped into a man as he was looking down and rolling up his sleeve.

“Sorry, excuse me.” apologized Heath, receiving a nod from the stranger before continuing on his way unaware the man’s eyes followed him and watched the path he took into the woods.

Reaching the end of the path, he stepped into the clearing, taking in the sight of his returning brothers walking up from the beach and startled when a hand was laid on his shoulder. Turning quickly, he rolled his eyes and put his gun away, “Caine, how many times have I told you don’t do that!”

The brown eyes sparkled and the priest bowed, “Many.”

“I’ll have to get you some spurs like Nick or something that jingles to put in your pouch so you can’t sneak up on me. Cause one of these times, you’ll give me a heart attack or I might shoot you!” retorted Heath.

“You would shoot me?” asked Caine quietly.

“Not on purpose!” exclaimed Heath quickly. “It’d be an accident.”

Shrugging, the man turned to look at his arriving brothers and stated, “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” smirked Heath, waiting as his brothers approached. “Nick, you’ve already met. Jarrod, this is Kwai Chang Caine. Caine, my brother Jarrod.”

Jarrod’s eyes lit up with curiosity at the man by Heath’s side. His glance taking in the nondescript clothing, the pouch hanging from his shoulders and the worn brown hat. Extending his hand, he was surprised when it was grasped firmly and the man bowed.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Caine.” acknowledged Jarrod.

“Ah, just Caine.” informed the priest before turning back to Heath, his brown eyes inquiring into the sapphire ones. Heath shuffled uncomfortably under the intense scrutiny while his brothers watch puzzled. “It is not the time for such words. We will have tea.”

Heath grimaced and nodded slightly before following the man towards the cabin with Nick and Jarrod tagging close behind. Sitting at the table, the brothers watched as tea was made and poured. Jarrod fumbled with the tiger in his hands, sensing someone’s eyes on him, he looked up and stared into the brown eyes watching him intensely.

“Heath says a tiger is the symbol for tenacity.” stated Jarrod quietly, receiving a nod from the bald man. “Did you give him this, Caine?”

“I did.” replied Caine quietly.

Placing the tiger on the table, Jarrod stared at the symbol and asked, “How did you know it would help him?”

“I did not know.” said Caine.

At the admission, Heath slowly turned his head and looked closely at the Shaolin, his eyebrow arched in disbelief. Shrugging slightly, Caine picked up the tiger and examined it, the brothers carefully watching every move.

“It was inside Heath, he only needed to focus for the correct path to reveal itself.” informed Caine. “As must you, Jarrod.”

Nick felt the silence in the room weaving around them, the surprise in Jarrod’s face no doubt matched his own look at the moment. He felt himself strangely calmed by the presence of this man, he felt his fears falling away while his gentle voice filled the cabin. This man gave off the energy of goodness and light.

“The legend tells of a tiger statue placed in front of a door swallowing all evil which appears at a home. The tiger is the guardian of the home. He is the protector of all inside.” stated Caine holding the wooden object towards Jarrod and placing it in his outstretched palm. “He is fierce, strong, never losing focus of the object he desires in the hunt or those he protects.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Heath.” replied Nick with a wink at his scowling little brother.

Jarrod smiled slightly and nodded in agreement, his eyes intent on the tiger in his hand, his thoughts blocking out any further conversation, forcing himself to focus on the hope found deep inside.

Chapter 43

The departing of the Shaolin priest left the three brothers close in proximity yet miles away in their thoughts. The time passed with little or no comments from the men.

Nick glanced sideways at his little brother whose eyes were back in time and found the anger welling up inside of him for all the hardships he’d been forced to endure at a young age. Working when he should have been playing, fighting in a war when he should have been in school. Using his skill with his guns to hope someone could end his dark life. The very thought of such despair in his strong brother twisted the insides of his gut. This man had yearned for the torment to end and would have succeeded if someone hadn’t ignited the last spark of hope inside of him.

Based on the past events in Heath’s life, he shouldn’t even be sitting at the table with his brothers at this very moment. Nick closed his eyes briefly to give thanks for the brother brought to them twenty four years after his birth. This gentle soul nurtured by the love of his mama encased in the strong man was a gift to them from their father.

Shifting his eyes to Jarrod, he studied the face of his older brother, deep in thought. Here was a man who’d always known what he wanted to do, always felt his calling deep inside him. Here was a man who worked hard and taken all the right steps to become the man he was, the respected lawyer the world viewed him to be. Here was a man whose very presence in the court of law decreed confidence, integrity and respect. Here was a man who stepped in when their father was murdered, taking the position as head of the family, using his strength and guidance to hold the family together in its time of crisis. Yes, his older brother had done everything right in the past, yet his payment for being the man he was came in the form of suffering and pain at the hands of the scum of society.

Staring into his coffee cup, Nick remembered Dr. Blanton’s worries about the addiction forced on Jarrod. If they were successful in giving Jarrod back his inner self, how were they ever to be sure he wouldn’t fall back to what the opium offered. How could they be sure?

The drug and those profiting from its use didn’t care if you were young or old, rich or poor, confident or unsure, negative or positive. All the good someone has done in the world didn’t matter when it came to the desire of the body to have fulfillment, even if that fulfillment was just a temporary thing, a bandage over an open sore. How could they be sure? This was the question which tormented Nick above all else. How could they be sure Jarrod wouldn’t fall backwards and fall hard?

Nick looked over at Heath and stated in a firm tone, “Duke can run the ranch for a while longer. That’s why we pay him so well and trust him explicitly. We’ll give him a nice long vacation when we all get home.”

Shaken from his very thoughts of asking Nick to stay, Heath hesitated before nodding, “Sure, Nick.”

Jarrod looked up at the start of the conversation and smiled slightly at the narrowing of Nick’s hazel eyes. It was obvious Nick had expected more of a fight from his little brother and now was suspicious of his compliance.

“I thought you were concerned with our responsibilities to the Barkley holdings and the family business.” said Nick curious as to the apparent change of direction.

Heath stood up and put his cup in the sink, answering quietly. “This is family business and you should be here. I’m gonna take a walk.”

Nick watched the blonde as he stepped outside and left his brothers behind, his face deepening in a scowl. Jarrod sighed and shook his head at Nick’s comment.

“Sometimes I don’t know what’s going through that boy’s head or where his thoughts are.”

“I’m guessing I’m weighing heavy in his thoughts, Nick.” said Jarrod quietly, his eyes looking up into the hazel eyes of his brother. “It had to be extremely hard on Heath yesterday to tell us about his past.”

Frowning, Nick nodded in agreement, “Yeah, when it comes to his past he’s still locked up tighter than a banker’s wallet.”

“Heath’s a private person, Nick.” stated Jarrod. “Maybe he hasn’t felt a need to discuss everything in his past cause he doesn’t like to dwell on the past.”

Leaning back in his chair, Nick played with his cup and wondered, “Jarrod, do you think it could be he doesn’t trust us completely? Do you think that’s what it could be?”

Glancing over at his silent brother, Nick saw a look in Jarrod’s eyes at the question. A look he hadn’t seen in a while. It was the look of a man inspecting all sides of a question, inquisitive and searching, weighting the pros and cons of the situation. It was the look of Jarrod Barkley, the attorney.

“No, Nick. I don’t think that’s it at all.” replied Jarrod after several minutes.

Nick was so deep in thought at the look in Jarrod’s eyes, it took a brief moment for him to recall what prompted Jarrod’s statement. Forcing his mind back, he leaned his chin on his fist and sighed, “What do you think it is?”

“Maybe Heath considers his past similar to Pandora’s box. Opening the box will let everything out that he has locked away. All the pain of bad memories and times he’d rather forget.” suggested Jarrod softly, his eyes filling with regret. “Now because of me, he’s being forced to relive those times.”

Grabbing hold of Jarrod’s shoulder with a strong hand, Nick’s voice was laden with anger and censure, “Don’t even go there, Jarrod. We already talked all this out. It’s not because of you! You didn’t have any control over what those people did!”

The ocean eyes fell away from the hazel eyes to the table and Jarrod sighed loudly, “Nick, I understand I didn’t have any control, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

The grip on his shoulder turned to patting, the deep voice was soothing when Nick found his voice again. “I know, Jarrod. I wish I could make it easier for you. I’d do anything to take it all away. But I can’t! All I can do is be here with both of my brothers and offer my strong shoulders.”

“You offer more than you realize to both Heath and me, Nick. You were there from the beginning and your strength has gotten us this far.” assured Jarrod with a smile.

“Pappy, let’s go see what our little brother is up to.” suggested Nick standing as he spoke. Jarrod nodded and climbed to his feet, reaching out to wrap his brother in his arms, thankful for the man before him and the man outside.

Jarrod felt the wooden tiger in his hand and smiled, “Nick, I don’t believe I have ever met anyone like this Caine fellow.”

Chuckling, Nick put an arm over his brother’s shoulders and agreed. “Me either, Pappy. Me either.”

Walking outside into the falling light of the day, the two brothers found the third sitting on the rocks during the glory of the sunset. Mother Nature’s pallet of orange and yellow bathed the blonde as he sat reflecting, facing the horizon. A strong hand squeezed each shoulder as his two brothers stood on each side, sharing their strength. Promises of togetherness no longer needed to be spoken.

Their souls were entwined, woven together by fate’s fingers. Their destinies together were laid out long before they left their mothers’ wombs. Their destinies determined long ago was to be together as brothers.

Chapter 44

Days turned into weeks and Jarrod’s physical strength improved with rest and an established regiment of exercise. Nick originally protested the regiment suggested by his younger brother, worried about the strain on the already weakened man, wanting to allow Jarrod more time to rest to regain his strength. His protest was out of love and concern for their oldest brother.

Heath listened to his brother’s concerns and calmly stated, “The devil finds work for idle hands, Nick.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” exclaimed Nick.

“With physical labor, Jarrod’ll be so exhausted he’ll sleep hard enough to keep the nightmares away. Not only will it help him physically but mentally. Nick, please trust me on this.”

Thinking for several minutes, Nick put his fists on his slim hips and suggested, “Heath, I’ll trust you if you trust me. If you trust me enough to tell my why you don’t take your own advise.”

Heath sighed, “Nick, we’re here to focus on Jarrod. I’m fine.”

Snorting in disgust, Nick snapped, “Yeah, sure you are! Don’t think I haven’t been keeping my eye on you, little brother. Something’s eating away at you. I can see it!”

Looking away from the piercing hazel eyes, Heath clenched his jaw firmly, his tone commanding, “Stop watching me and keep your eyes on Jarrod.”

Turning to walk away, Nick stopped Heath with a firm hand on his arm, his eyes full of concern, “Heath, what is it? You can tell me anything.”

The flare up of anger deflated quickly from the blonde with the concerned eyes and voice. Reaching over and squeezing the hand holding his arm, Heath’s blue windows reflected the love for his brother, “Nick, I’ll deal with it when Jarrod is back completely. Until then, you’ll have to be patient.”

Nick smirked, “Patience is not one of my virtues, little brother.”

Clapping Nick on the back, Heath flashed a lop-sided grin, “Lucky, I have enough for both of us big brother.”

The physical regiment was started with all three brothers working side by side. Nick found himself in a battle of wills with his younger brother, trying to keep the blonde within a realm of activity Nick felt comfortable with. Heath was agitated by the restriction of his recovery but gave into his two brothers’ concerns. Not wanting to be the cause of any worry for either man.

Jarrod’s face perspired as he worked beside Nick, the work hard but cleansing. It had been a long time since Jarrod had done the physical work Nick and Heath did as a normal part of their day on the ranch. He’d forgotten how good it felt to use the power inside of you, the raw physical power in your muscles to build something permanent. This well would be used for the mission and any other visitors they would have at the cabin in the future.

Leaning against a tree, Heath watched as Jarrod and Nick worked. Seeing the padre approaching, Heath met the man halfway, taking his hand in greeting, passing pleasantries for a few moments before accepting an envelope addressed to him.

Heath waited until after the man of the cloth’s departure to open the envelope and run his eyes over the words. Looking up from the paper, he carefully scanned the area around them before heading back to his brothers.

Nick glanced up and straightened at the look on Heath’s face. “What?”

“From Fetterson. Mia Ling didn’t show up for her hearing. She jumped bail and seems no one has seen her for two weeks.” informed Heath handing the wire to Nick.

Jarrod put down his hammer, feeling his brothers eyes scrutinizing him and stated calmly, “Sometimes it happens. One of the flaws of our justice system, I’m afraid.”

“We know that, Jarrod. What if she decides to come after you?” questioned Nick.

“Why would she do that?” asked Jarrod, opening the canteen and taking a drink. “She had more charges against her than just my kidnapping. She was her father’s right arm, so to speak and guilty of a lot more. Coming after and killing me won’t make those other charges disappear. She’ll still be wanted by the law. My death won’t change anything.”

Listening to Jarrod’s reasoning, Nick frowned and turned to his brother, the former marshal, “Heath, what do you think?”

Taking off his hat and running his fingers through his hair, Heath took his time, trotting the scenario around in his mind for several minutes. “It’s hard to say, Nick. I can see Jarrod’s thinking and it makes sense.”

“But?” asked Nick at Heath’s hesitation.

“Well, it depends on how she’s gonna view what happened.” replied Heath.

“What do you mean?” puzzled Nick not sure of what his brother was saying, trying to read between the lines.

Handing the canteen to Nick, Jarrod sat on a tree stump and wiped his forehead, catching his little brother’s sapphire eyes in his own. “Brother Nick, it depends on if Mia Ling thinks we’re responsible for her father’s death.”

“He was killed in jail!” stated Nick angrily. “We’re not responsible.”

“I hid the only witness against her father and didn’t disclose the location to them. If I had, her father would not have been in jail, thus he would still be alive. Since he went to jail because of my hidden client, in her mind she may hold me responsible.” informed Jarrod quietly, receiving a nod of agreement from the blonde.

“That’s it in a nutshell, Nick. Course in two weeks, she could be anywhere in the country or abroad.” stated Heath. “Now, we have to decide what we’re gonna do with this information.”

Jarrod felt a rise of fear inside of him at the thought of evil’s twin sister running lose in society and took a deep calming breath. Heath saw the spark of fear in the ocean eyes before they were covered by his brother’s hands wiping his face. When the hands moved, the fear was no longer in the eyes, replaced instead with determination.

“I don’t know about you two, but I’m going to complete this well for Padre Sanchez before I do anything else.” stated Jarrod firmly, picking up his hammer.

Nick looked at Heath staring at Jarrod, the pride in the blue orbs shining as bright as the sun overhead. Heath glanced up and smiled into the hazel eyes. Nick walked over and handed the canteen to Heath, whose whisper was for the dark haired rancher’s ears only. “I’ll check the perimeter.”

Nodding, Nick watched the blonde walk into the trees lining the back of the property. The well would be completed soon and then the brothers could determine their next step.

Chapter 45

Entering the trees, Heath carefully scanned the area for signs of any unwanted persons in the vicinity of the cabin. His sharp eyes not picking up anything out of the ordinary and he slowly felt the tension ease from his body. Making his way around the area where his brothers were working, he walked towards the beach area where the water was lapping up against the shore. No footprints other than the ones trailing behind him could be found as he walked the secluded carpet of sand.

His path around the property ended at the shortcut through the trees to the mission. Hesitating for a moment, he turned and walked back to the cabin. His eyes brightened at the sight of his two brothers standing in front of the completed well.

“Looks good!” exclaimed Heath with a wide grin. “Jarrod, ya’ sure you don’t wanna give up your law practice and work with us everyday?”

Shaking his head, Jarrod sighed, “I don’t think I could handle our brother on an everyday basis, Heath.”

“Hey! Now that’s not nice, Pappy!” growled Nick unable to keep the smirk off his face. Heath laughed and patted his brothers on their backs as he stood between them.

“I’d say this calls for a celebration boys!” drawled Heath leading the way to the cabin and pulling a bottle out of the cabinet, poured the amber liquid into three glasses. Handing a glass to each of his brothers, he held his up in a toast, his eyes sparkling as he spoke.

“Here’s to nearing the end of a journey but not the end of our brotherhood.”

The clinking of the glasses together followed the smiles appearing on the faces of the three men. In unison, they downed the shot of liquor, groaning at the taste.

“DAMN!” exclaimed Nick shuddering in disgust. “How old is this stuff?”

“Probably as old as you Nick.” gasped Heath feeling the liquid burn all the way down.

“No, probably as old as this cabin.” groaned Jarrod putting his glass in the sink. “No more for me.”

In agreement, the brothers opted for coffee instead of another taste of the aged liquor and after dinner played cards. During the card playing, discussions were held and plans made to return to San Francisco and then Stockton as soon as the tickets could be purchased.

Unable to sleep again, unwilling to close his eyes and see the images conjured up, Heath quietly put on his pants and left the cabin with gunbelt in hand. The night air was warm and inviting as he strapped on his belt and leaned against one of the posts. His eyes looking out into the blackness, appreciating the moonrays gliding across the ocean, tantalizing in their beauty.

He would miss the solitude of this mission. It had been his life saver and now was his brother’s. His oldest brother playing cards tonight was vastly different than the man who had arrived over five weeks ago. This man tonight was almost the same brother they remember before his kidnapping.

In retrospect, Jarrod would never fully return to the person he was before the act of violence just as Heath never fully returned to the person he was before the murder of his mother. What was important was the clarity in his eyes, the spark within him, the desire to return to his life and the will to follow his dreams. Those were the important things, the things which had been taken away were now returned and put in their rightful place.

The man, Jarrod Barkley, could now return to his life and move on. He was strong again, physically and mentally. He rid himself of the darkness and the fear using the hope inside of him. Jarrod had fought and fought hard, his reward for his fight came back to him tenfold.

Hearing the closing of the door, Heath smiled in the moonlight. “Pappy, you should be asleep.”

“How’d you know it was me?” asked Jarrod quietly, placing a hand on the nearest bare shoulder.

“Cause Nick snores loud enough to be heard over in Boston!” smirked Heath, enjoying the chuckle of his oldest brother.

“I can’t dispute that fact, little brother.” agreed Jarrod. “Maybe we should’ve packed some cotton for our ears.”

Laughing, Heath patted the hand on his shoulder and shook his head, “Probably need to tie a bunch of it over our ears with a towel to block out his sawing. He’s as loud asleep as he is awake.”

Jarrod chuckled at his brother’s words and pulled on his arm, propelling the blonde away from the cabin. Putting an arm over the curious man’s shoulders, Jarrod stopped on the beach and faced his brother.

“Something the matter, Jarrod?”

“I’m not sure, Heath.” said Jarrod gently. “I’ve a feeling you’ve been keeping something from me and Nick. Is there something about Mia Ling’s disappearance you haven’t told us?”

Unconsciously stiffening, Heath turned his gaze out to the ocean and took a moment before answering. “No, Jarrod. You know everything about it that I do.”

Nodding, Jarrod prodded softly, “Are you worried about me using opium?”

“Weeks ago, I would’ve said yes but no, I’m not worried about it now. You have the resources to fight the desire now, Jarrod. You worked hard to get to this point.” assured Heath quietly, glancing into the concerned eyes.

“Then, what is it Heath?” questioned Jarrod, clearly seeing the regret in the sapphire eyes highlighted in the bright moonlight. “What’s disturbing your sleep? What is it you see when you close your eyes?”

If Heath hadn’t been so wrapped up in remembering, he would’ve felt happiness and pride at the questioning from his brother, the attorney. Shaking his head, he swallowed to fight the tightness in his throat, his words whispered, low as if afraid to speak them, lest they’d come true.

“I see you. Jarrod, you in death is what I see. In a coffin with the family surrounding you.”

“I’m not dead, Heath. I’m right here.” insisted Jarrod quietly. “Look at me, Heath!”

Thrust into the recalling the visions, Heath’s gaze was tortured, his hands clenched at his sides, not hearing the calm voice of his brother as he gasped for air at the constriction of his chest. His words rambling, the quivering increasing as the intensity built.

“Their eyes. I can’t get their eyes outta my mind. They’re full of grief when they look at you. When they see me, I see the horror and accusations. I, uh, I can’t move…I’m drowning…in their glares…They’re right…I let you die…I didn’t stop it…I could’ve but I didn’t…Nick didn’t make it in time…you died…cause of me”

Jarrod grabbed onto the shoulders of his brother locked in the memory and called out while he shook him, “HEATH! I’M RIGHT HERE! HEATH!”

Blinking, Heath reached up with a shaky hand and rubbed it over his face. Jarrod held onto the shoulders and stared into his eyes, his voice demanding. “Why would you think such a thing, Heath?”

“It’s true!” snapped Heath trying to pull out of Jarrod’s hold.

“No, Heath! It’s not your fault I went back to San Francisco.” overrode Jarrod’s firmly. “We talked about this.”

Chuckling nervously fighting the urge to break down and sob, Heath shook his head. “It’s not that, Jarrod.”

“Please, Heath, tell me what it is.” pleaded Jarrod. “Please.”

“Five days, Jarrod. They had you five days longer cause of me. Five days of torture in their hands. Five days of pure hell!”

Jarrod’s grip tightened at the words and the expression in his brother’s eyes, “What are you talking about?”

“What am I talking about?” exclaimed Heath, his words mixed with sobs of pain and self anger. “Nick saved you not me! I searched for four days and couldn’t find you. I wired him, he came and put up a reward. You were found the next day! If I hadn’t wired Nick when I did, you would’ve died. I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU, JARROD!”

“Heath, that’s not true.” replied Jarrod grabbing the back of the blonde’s neck and leaning forward to stare in his eyes. “Nick told me how he found you when he came after you sent the wire. You tried so hard to find me. You nearly drove yourself into the ground. Heath, you…”

Shrugging out of Jarrod’s hold, Heath’s voice was stammering, condemning when he spoke, the possible alternate reality of his actions shaking his body uncontrollably, the admission of such a great failure paling his face, bringing unnoticed tears to his eyes.

“I gave them more time. Five more days of time. Those bastards had five more days of pumping opium in you. Five more days to beat you. Five more days to torment..”

Unable to finish, Heath turned to walk away and his arm was grabbed by a strong hand. With the salt water from his eyes blinding him, Heath pulled his arm out of the hand’s hold, pushed Jarrod back and staggered away. Jarrod grabbed the distraught blonde from behind, wrapping his arms around him and pulled him down to sit on the sand in front of him.

Cursing angrily, Heath shouted for Jarrod to let him go, struggling against the strong arms. Jarrod tightened his hold on the struggling man, whispering in his ear, his whispers were declarations of love and forgiveness.

Frustrated and overwhelmed with the spiraling of the world around him, the words of love and forgiveness rang in his ear, reaching down into his heart forcing the pain outward. Heath collapsed and sagged against the chest of the brother holding him. His release of pain and anguish kept inside burst forth under the white moon in the black velvet sky.

Jarrod didn’t know how much time passed before the pain inside Heath was completely released. Spent from the emotional cleansing, he lay exhausted in the arms of his oldest brother and gave into sleep. Jarrod felt a hand on his back and Nick knelt beside his brothers taking in the tears on both faces under the light of the full moon.

Jarrod shook his head at Nick’s questioning look and placed a kiss on the blonde hair, his gaze turning to the ocean, his cheek on the top of his little brother’s head. Nick sat beside his brothers, an arm over Jarrod’s shoulder holding him close as the time passed until the new day dawned.

Chapter 46

Opening his eyes, Heath saw the blue sky above him and remembered in an instant why he was outside instead of in the cabin. Sighing and looking to the side, he was greeted by a pair of concerned ocean eyes.

“Morning.” said Heath pushing himself up and glancing around the beach, climbing to his feet and groaning at the pieces of grit beneath his brace. Jarrod chuckled at the amount of sand which filtered out when the brace was unwrapped. Grumbling, Heath shook the brace out throwing sand all over his laughing brother.

“HEY!” shouted Jarrod jumping to his feet and swiping at his shirt. “Now, little brother that’s not a nice thing to do.”

“No, guess not.” smiled Heath slightly, his gaze turning from Jarrod down to the material in his hand. “Jarrod, I, well, I..ah, hell.”

Taking the brace from Heath’s hands, Jarrod rewrapped it around his little brother and secured it. Finishing, he put his hands on the blonde’s shoulders and stared into the sapphire eyes.

“Heath, I love you and I know you did everything you could to find me. I have no doubts about that. Do you?”

Returning the unwavering gaze, Heath sighed, “I love you too, Jarrod. I just don’t understand how I could’ve overlooked such an obvious solution. Of course a reward would loosen tight lips, it was simple. I’m so sorry.”

“Listen to me, Heath Thomson and listen good.” stated Jarrod firmly. “We are both alive and both well! You did what you could to find me and you almost died to protect me. We need to put this behind us and move on as brothers looking into the future.”

Nodding, Heath smiled and squeezed one of the strong hands holding his shoulders. Jarrod saw the puzzlement in the blonde’s eyes before he slowly walked him back to the cabin. He knew Heath was still questioning himself, even though Jarrod wasn’t.

Sitting at the quiet table and having breakfast, Jarrod thought back to when Heath first arrived in Stockton and suddenly shouted out loud, causing his younger brothers to jump.

“WHAT?” growled Nick and Heath together.

A wide smile spread across the lawyer’s face and he leaned on the table. “Heath, how much money do you have in the bank?”

“What?” exclaimed Heath in disbelief. “Why, you need a loan or something?”

“How much, Heath?” repeated Jarrod, then smiling. “Humor me, okay?”

Heath shrugged, “Hell, I have no idea. I know I have something cause you keep putting money in there every month even after I told ya’ not to! I don’t pay any attention. It’s not important to me.”

“Just what I thought.” said Jarrod leaning back with a smug look.

“You can have it all if you need it, Jarrod.” insisted Heath sincerely. “Really, I don’t have a need for it. It’s okay.”

Nick stared at his two brothers and a wide smile spread across his face after understanding flashed in his hazel eyes.

“Heath, don’t you see?” questioned Jarrod.

Looking at the two smiling men, Heath sighed loudly, “No, I must be blind or something. What is it?”

“That’s why, little brother. That’s exactly why you didn’t think of the reward.” said Jarrod quietly.

Rubbing his temples, Heath groaned, “I must really be stupid or something. I still don’t get what you’re saying.”

“For pete’s sake, Heath!” growled Nick slamming his fist on the table and leaning over. “You didn’t have any money growing up! That’s why! You didn’t have any money for twenty four years so it’s not an answer for you. You still live like you have no money. What’s the last thing you bought for yourself? I don’t mean a present for someone’s birthday or stuff like that, either. I mean for you. When did you last buy yourself a new gun? New boots? New saddle?”

“I haven’t needed anything so why would I buy something if I don’t need it.” frowned Heath, looking up at Jarrod.

“You acted in the manner you knew, which was trying to find me as if you were still a marshal. Nick and I had offered a reward before for father’s murderer. That’s why Nick thought of it cause he’s used to having money at his disposal, from the way he was raised.” explained Jarrod quietly. “It has nothing to do with your abilities, Heath.”

Several minutes passed before Heath looked up, his eyes wide and nodded, “So, you’re saying my growing up poor and a bastard is what nearly killed you, Jarrod.”

Nick and Jarrod sat stunned at the statement and words their brother twisted like a coiled rope. Shaking his head, Jarrod blustered, “Heath, no, that’s not what I mean.”

Unable to stop himself, Heath burst out in a chuckle at the look on his brothers’ faces. “Boy howdy, you should see your faces!”

“OUR FACES!” shouted Nick angrily and jumping up from his chair. “WAIT TIL YOU SEE YOUR FACE WHEN I’M DONE WITH IT!”

Holding up his hands, Heath warned as the large hands came closer, “Remember I’m still recovering, Nicholas!”

Nick stopped his hands, clenched them tightly into fists and grinned evilly, “Two more weeks, little brother and then I’ll show you the new moves Caine taught me.”

Choking on his coffee, Heath wiped his mouth while Jarrod pounded on his back, his words squeaked out from the bout of forced coughing, “What new moves?”

Smiling widely, Nick turned and left the cabin. Looking at Jarrod, Heath winked, “Thanks, big brother.”

“Anytime, little brother.” replied Jarrod before the blonde bolted out the cabin and hollered.

“WHAT NEW MOVES, TWIT BRAIN? HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU!”

Sitting back in his chair, Jarrod shook his head and laughed at the argument he could hear through the open door, enjoying his coffee and the sounds of brotherhood.

Chapter 47

Later that afternoon, Nick stood with his arms crossed across his chest, hazel eyes sparkling at his little brother who was growing more irritated with the smug face looking back at him.

“Com’n Nick! I’m fine.” growled Heath. “Jarrod, tell him I’m fine.”

The blue eyes of the oldest brother twinkled as he watched the battle between his two brothers, the intermediary decided to take the middle road and replied, “Heath, I do believe the physicians stated no riding and no lifting for seven weeks, brother Heath. Nick is only ensuring you are following their advise out of concern for your well being.”

“Ah, gees.” groaned Heath shaking his head in disgust. “Not you too, Pappy!”

Smiling at Jarrod’s statement of support, Nick put a large hand on the smaller man’s shoulder, “Heath, you only have two more weeks to go. Then, you can work all you want but until that day it’s not happening. Jarrod and I will pack the wagon and let you know when we’re ready to leave.”

“Two more weeks is gonna seem like a lifetime.” muttered Heath running his hand through his hair.

Tousling the blonde hair, Nick suggested, “Maybe you can use the time to cut your hair.”

“Very funny, twit brain.” snorted Heath not able to hide his smile from his older brothers as he turned and walked over to the cliffs for one last look at the soothing ocean.

Jarrod and Nick laughed at their grumbling brother, knowing in their hearts how confining the recovery period of forced inactivity had been on the blonde. Both men fully understood Heath’s desire to return to normal activities and the anxiousness he was experiencing. Both men were relieved to be heading home to pass the increasing difficult responsibility of ensuring the physician’s orders were followed to their formidable Mother.

Grabbing the bags, Nick and Jarrod headed to the wagon. Nick looked over and smiled, “I’d say little brother is gonna be mighty happy in a couple weeks when he gets to dig some fence posts.”

“I’d have to agree with you, Nick.” admitted Jarrod, leaning on the wagon after placing his bags in the back. “We’re blessed to have Heath as our brother. No matter how stubborn he is sometimes.”

“Yeah.” smiled Nick widely, his face turning serious and adding, “Jarrod, being here has given me a lot of time to think about things. It was Heath who suggested we come here. It was Heath who shared his past struggles to help you. It was Heath who led me by the nose when it came to what he knew would be best for you, even over my objections. If it hadn’t been for him, who knows if you’d be standing here beside me now.”

“I couldn’t have done it without either of you, Nick.” replied Jarrod firmly. “You and Heath together are unbeatable, I think. You compliment each other so well.”

“Compliment?” smirked Nick with a wink. “Remember you said that when we’re butting heads over something and ready to beat each other later.”

“I’m sure you’ll remind me, Nick, at the appropriate time.” laughed Jarrod, then nodding as they started walking back to the cabin. “I think I know what you’re trying to say. Our little brother has given his whole self to this fight or journey as he calls it. Heath’s the type who will always put us first before himself. To him, family is sacred.”

“Pappy, I wanna show him how much he means to me, to us. How much we appreciate everything he’s gone through for our family.” said Nick firmly. “What do you get a man who doesn’t care about material things?”

Clearing the trees, Jarrod stopped, explaining his suggestion to Nick who smiled widely and nodded. “It’s perfect, Pappy! I can’t wait to get back and tell Mother.”

Clapping a hand on the back of his brother, Jarrod gestured to where Heath was standing with Caine. “A priest, huh?”

Chuckling, Nick smiled, “Heath sure has met a lot of different people in his travels.”

Heath stood looking at the ocean and smiled when he heard a sound of jingling approaching from behind. He turned and extended a hand to his old friend, winking as he questioned. “Are ya’ wearing spurs on your sandals, Caine?”

Caine bowed slightly, “I was afraid you would shoot me.”

Laughing, Heath grinned and patted the priest on the shoulder, “It’s been good to see you again, friend. I don’t think I could have done it without you.”

Patting the blonde’s cheek before tapping his chest, Caine shook his head, “It was always within you. It is your heart which has always lead you, let it continue to do so.”

“I’ll try, Caine.” promised Heath. “We’re leaving today.”

Caine said, “Perhaps I will see you on the train again.”

Surprised, Heath stared at Caine, “I’ve never seen you on a train!”

Winking, Caine smiled, “I know.”

“I thought Shaolin didn’t ride the rails and walked everywhere.” replied Heath suspiciously.

“Sometimes one must do what is necessary.” said Caine placing both hands on the blonde’s shoulders. “If it is our destiny, we will meet again.”

Heath smiled and bowed slightly, “It would be my honor.”

“As it would be mine.” stated Caine before walking beside the blonde and saying his farewells to the brothers.

Staring after the priest, Heath sighed and felt his brothers by his side, hearing Nick’s deep voice. “Ready, Heath?”

Nodding, he smiled slightly and walked with his brothers to the wagon. This was the second time in his life of leaving the sanctuary of the mission behind and facing the world again.

Chapter 48

Four weeks later, Jarrod Barkley attorney at law shrugged into his suitcoat and put on his hat. Opening the door, he stepped out onto the stoop of his San Francisco home and locked it behind him, a smile lighting his face at the sight of the tiger statue guarding his door.

He remembered the day he returned to his home with Nick and Heath. After entering the home, he felt a shudder spread through him at returning to the place where his journey into darkness had started. Nick’s long steps took him into the comfortable living room, leaving his brothers behind in the hallway. Heath caught the profile of his oldest brother and placed a supportive arm over his shoulder.

“Pappy, it’s like riding a horse after ya’ get throwed. If you don’t do it now, you’ll never fully feel at ease here. This is your home, Jarrod. Don’t let those bastards take it from you.” urged Heath firmly, receiving a hesitant nod and a deep shaky breath in response to his words. “We’re here with ya’ brother Jarrod. Right beside you.”

Pride and love flashed in the ocean eyes at the words and Jarrod smiled, taking his first step back towards the room where the giant had tossed him like a rag doll. Nick’s booming voice reached them from the room.

“Where the hell are you two?”

Heath rolled his eyes and groaned, “I admit sometimes I wish Nick was a few miles away when he starts yelling.”

Chuckling, Jarrod stopped when he realized his little brother had skillfully maneuvered him into the room and placed a drink in his hand. Jarrod smiled gratefully and saluted his brothers before downing the drink.

The next day after dropping Heath at the hospital for a check up with Dr. Stanton, Nick and Jarrod met with the district attorney. Tying up the loose ends, they were happy to hear the Jenkins family had been relocated to another city and were far away from the place where Tad’s path strayed from right into evil. A new place, a new job and a new life would help the young man step into his father’s shoes as head of his family.

Hours later picking up their younger brother, the men enjoyed dinner at one of the famous restaurants in the city by the bay. Their conversation light and joyous, their eyes sparkling, their bond as brothers tested and proven to have been stronger than the steel which ran through their souls.

Arriving home, Jarrod and Nick stared at the tiger statue which appeared on the stoop while they were gone. A large red bow wrapped around the neck of the cat, it’s fangs seen in it’s open mouth, a twin of the wooden tiger Jarrod carried in his pocket.

“Wow!” exclaimed Nick. “Heath did you do this?”

Jarrod smiled and took the hand of his younger brother. Shaking his head, Heath smirked, “Sorry, wasn’t me boys.”

“Yeah sure, it wasn’t.” snorted Nick reaching over and taking a paper off the bow, handing it to Jarrod.

Opening it, Jarrod read the words out loud, “This tiger is the guardian of your home. He is the protector of all inside. It’s not signed but we all know who it’s from.”

Smiling, Heath looked around for the man responsible, disappointed when his eyes could not locate the priest. Clapping Jarrod on the back, Heath drawled, “Even Nick’s not fool enough to tackle a tiger, Jarrod.”

“Very funny, Heath.” said Nick punching the blonde in the shoulder. “Smart ass.”

“Twit brain.” drawled Heath entering after Jarrod opened the door with Nick on his heels.

Looking around, Jarrod saw a man walking away down the street, his gait familiar, his face not able to be seen.

“Thank you, Caine.” stated Jarrod into the night air, swearing he saw a slight bow from the man at his words before he disappeared into the darkness.

Four weeks had passed since they left the mission, four weeks and today as he picked up the paper on his way to the office, Jarrod’s eyes caught the headline and happiness filled his being.

Barkley Family to Fund the Thomson Orthopedic Wing at San Francisco General Hospital.

The front page story stating the wing was named in honor of the son of the late Thomas Barkley, Heath Thomson, former U. S. Marshal. Reaching his office, he accepted a cup of coffee from his secretary and sat at his desk, reading the article.

The family gift to the man who didn’t need material things was a gift to the future hopes of others. A gift for those who would benefit from the research and care the wing would provide to people of all incomes. A gift in his name which would carry on for eternity. A gift to show him how his own struggles were not in vain, his own fight to survive and return to his own lighted path had not gone unnoticed and would be recognized.

Heath Thomson, the son of Thomas Barkley would forever be a name synonymous with healing and caring.

Epilogue

The morning was brisk, the air crisp and your breath could be seen lingering in the air. It was cool and the maid hurried to bring in the paper. She couldn’t understand why this paper was so important. The news on the west coast was two weeks old by the time it arrived in New York. Sitting the paper on the tray, she carried the breakfast up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Two pair of dark eyes widened as the headline for the hospital wing stared out at her.

Reading the headline story, the woman crumpled the paper in her hands and stared at the portrait of her father, her eyes filling with hatred.

THE END