Discovery

Parts 1-10

by Catlee

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission.  No copyright infringement is intended by the author.  The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

 

 

 

 

Part 1

 

“Jarrod is that it? Is that the report I asked you to obtain for me?”

 

Jarrod looked up from his desk and studied his mother as she crossed the study and sat in the chair opposite him.  Her face was composed, showing no emotion, but her voice quavered ever so slightly as she spoke and her eyes, her eyes were pools of despair or dread he couldn’t tell which.  He wished she hadn’t come in and found him reading the report or more precisely starring at it.  He had already read it in his office in Stockton and was very glad he had.  It was not an easy story to read or understand.  His stomach and been doing somersaults all afternoon and more than once it felt as though the contents of his breakfast and lunch were about to be deposited in his lap.

 

‘Yes Mother it is,” he replied quietly.

 

“Does it, does it confirm my suspicions?”  Victoria turned pleading eyes to her son.

 

Jarrod wasn’t sure whether they were pleading for the truth or confirmation that her suspicions of two weeks before were unfounded. Jarrod sighed deeply.  There would be no easy way in telling his mother the information.

 

“I’m sorry Mother, but yes it does confirm your suspicions.  Heath Thompson is father’s son, our half brother.  The agency did a thorough investigation, too thorough I’m afraid.  There is information in this report that, that….” He didn’t know what to say or how to continue and trailed off.

 

Victoria looked at Jarrod tears running down her face.  She took a deep breath.  How could this have happened?  How could Tom have done this to her, to his family, to him? Straightening her shoulders she looked stoically at her oldest son.

 

“I would like to read the report Jarrod, please.”

 

“Mother I don’t think that is a good idea, there are things in this report that should be left unread.  Things about Heath’s life that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”

 

“Jarrod, I want to read the report now, please.”

 

Jarrod handed over the report without another word then rose from the chair to pour a sherry for his mother, although he suspected she would need something a lot stronger than sherry by the time she was finished.  He placed the glass beside her on his desk and then returned to his seat watching her intently.

 

Victoria took the report with slightly trembling hands and opened the file with Pinkerton Agency Private and Confidential emblazoned across its front cover.  She stared mutely at the first page reading and rereading the words at the top the colour draining from her face.

 

Heath Morgan Thompson born Strawberry 21st May 1848 mother - Leah Thompson, father - THOMAS J BARKLEY.   The words seemed to be leaping and dancing in front her.  There it was in black and white. Her husband, her Tom had had an affair with another woman and produced a child.  A child he didn’t, they didn’t know about.  Oh she had known about the affair.  He told her when his guilt became too much but never had they dreamed of a child.  Now here it was in black and white. There would never be another chance to deny its’ happening, to put it to rest in the depths of heart and mind as she had done all those years ago.  Now it was printed for the entire world to see, for her family to see.  And the proof was out on the range, her ranch, her families ranch, his ranch somewhere repairing fences.

 

Jarrod watched his mother intently.  If she was this affected by the first few lines what of the rest of the report?  His stomach turned over again at the thought of what was written within the crisp white pages.  A life of poverty, working in a mine, a Barkley mine no less as a charge boy at the age of six, then a second job at the livery at ten and the hotel working for his aunt and uncle.  His mother, the town’s washer- woman, struggling to put food on the table.  Little schooling, no friends, the taunts about his parentage, the abuse and finally his mother’s death.  God the abuse, first at the hands of his so-called family, his Uncle Matt and Aunt Martha Simmons and then at the hands of prison guards in Carterson.  How had a mere child of fourteen even managed to get into the army, let alone become one of the Union Army’s top sharpshooters and then spend the last seven months of the war as a prisoner in that hell hole and live to tell the tale.  Not that too many tales had been told.  From what he had heard about the boy, he was quiet, too quiet, never said boo unless he was spoken to or provoked.  When provoked he was like a cornered rattlesnake, quick, very quick to strike. What were they to do now? They couldn’t turn their back on the boy. HE couldn’t turn his back on his BROTHER.  The word bore deep into his soul.  He, they, had another brother.  What would Nick think.  Nick held his father up on a pedestal.  This could destroy what the bullet hadn’t six years ago.  Then there was Audra and Eugene to consider. How would they react to the news of another brother?  If he knew his little sister, she would be hurt, terribly hurt but then she would take Heath under her wing as if he were a stray animal to look after him.  That thought brought a small smile to his face for a fleeting second. Somehow though he didn’t think that Heath would accept that.  Eugene was a different matter and he honestly didn’t know how he would react.  He didn’t know how any of them were going to react, least of all the boy.  Did he know? Or was it just coincidence that he came to this ranch looking for work.  After all Strawberry was only seventy miles away and the town was now little more than a ghost town.  A sharp gasp from his mother brought him abruptly out of his reverie.  He looked up to see tears flowing freely down her face and her hand covering her mouth.

 

“Oh Jarrod, what have we done to this boy?  Why didn’t Tom, us ever go back and make sure there was no child?  We should have known.  It was always a possibility and we did nothing.”

 

Victoria sat in the chair, her body consumed by heart wrenching sobs and uncontrollable shakes.  Jarrod quickly moved around his desk and took his distraught mother into his arms holding her close to his chest allowing her tears to soak his shirt.  They sat like that for almost ten minutes, no words were necessary as they comforted one another and tried to come to terms with what both of them had just read.  Regaining some of her composure Victoria turned her tear stained face to her eldest son.

 

“What do we do now Jarrod? Do we just forget about this report and what it contains? Do we approach Heath with what we know or wait for him to approach us?  Jarrod what if he doesn’t even know whom his father was? How do we make it up to him for all that he has suffered?”

 

“We do what is right Mother.  That is the only thing we can do, but first we have to speak to Nick, Audra and Eugene.  They have to be told as soon as possible.  My main concern is going to be Nick and how he handles the news that father wasn’t perfect after all.  I can wire Eugene tomorrow and have him return to the ranch this weekend.  This can’t wait until his next holiday.  As for making it up to him there is nothing that we could ever do that would make up for the his life thus far.  We can only try to ensure that his future is better than his past.”

 

“Yes I suppose your right.” Victoria replied absently.

 

“Jarrod what are the implications for Heath? Is he entitled to any of this?  Tom never acknowledged him as his son?  Can he make a claim on the ranch?”

 

“As far as I am aware Heath has no legal rights to this ranch or its holdings.  The family would have to decide if and what we deem would be fair compensation.”  Jarrod looked earnestly at his mother.  “Mother I know this has come as a terrible shock for you and I can’t begin to understand what you are going through but I would like the chance to get to know my half brother.”

 

Victoria patted her son’s arm and smiled.

 

“Jarrod, I have had nearly three weeks ever since I first saw him talking to Nick by the corrals. I have thought about this and after a lot of soul searching I believe I too would like to get to know this young man better.  It would be very easy for me to turn my back on this boy and don’t think I haven’t seriously thought about it, but every time I see him I see your father as he was when we first met. That was why I was so certain of who he was the first time I saw him. He has the same eyes, the same mannerisms as your father.  I feel as though I have been given a second chance to watch your father grow and prosper again.  I don’t want to lose that chance.  The question is will Heath want to stay and share his life with us?  I can’t help wondering that deep down if that was his intention in coming here. To find his family only now that he has found us he doesn’t know what to do next.”

 

“Well lovely lady I’m sure you will find a way to help him and all of us to come to terms with this situation.  Not only come to terms with it but to grow past it and become stronger as a whole family.”  Jarrod stood and kissed his mother lightly on the top of her head.  “You know Mother, Nick’s not the only stubborn Barkley in this family and we know where he got his stubbornness from, don’t we? If anybody can get this family through it you will.  You will not allow this family to be torn apart by the actions of years ago.”

 

Victoria patted Jarrod’s arm as she stood.  “I need some time to think. I think I’ll take a walk in the garden.  Will you please check that Silas has supper under control for me?  And Jarrod, let’s keep this from Nick for the time being.  I really don’t know how he will respond either and that worries me.”

 

Jarrod watched his mother disappear through the French doors and then left to do his mother’s bidding.

 

Victoria strolled around her rose garden absently looking at but not seeing the blooms that usually gave her so much pleasure.  Her mind was reeling.  The magnitude of what she had just read settling heavily on her heart.

 

“Oh Tom how could you have let this happen she pleaded? How could we have let this happen?  I forgave you for your indiscretions all those years ago and you promised me there was no child and no possibility of a child.  Why didn’t you, we, ever go back and make certain? What am I to do now Tom?  Show me what this family is to do now. How do we make this right? That boy, Heath, your son, no our son for he can be nothing less has suffered so much in his young life.  You have to help me help this family come to terms with our failings to our own children and to Heath.”

 

Victoria sat down on one of the benches near her rose garden and put her head in her hands.

 

“Oh Tom, please give me the strength to make this all right.”

 

 

 

Part 2

The Betrayal

 

Nick rode into the yard mid morning cursing himself for having forgotten to take the figures that he and Jarrod had been working on earlier that morning.  He dismounted at the steps leaving Coco’s reins trailing as he made his way to the front door.  He knew Jarrod had already left for Stockton so he didn’t bother announcing his presence in his customary bellow. Besides Mother and Audra had left to visit with the Stirlings and meet the new arrival so they weren’t home either.  Nick strode across the foyer, into Jarrod’s study and straight to his desk where he had left the figures.  In his haste to get back out on the range he knocked the top papers off the pile and bent down to pick them up.  His eyes widened as he noticed the Pinkerton report and the name at the top.  Now why would Jarrod be investigating their new hand Heath Thompson he wondered?  Letting his eyes wander over the report he gasped out loud and let his stunned body sink into the chair behind him.  His hands started shaking uncontrollably as his brain tried to make sense of what he was reading.  His mind was screaming NO, NO, NO. It wasn’t possible, not his father.  He would never betray his wife and family like that.  It was lies, horrible lies.  The blood drained from his face as he continued to read, unable to tear his eyes away from the report.  He was almost gagging by the time he had finished reading and he slammed the report and his fist down hard on the solid oak desktop ignoring the pain in his knuckles.  I don’t believe it I won’t believe it. Not my father, never!  This is some horrible joke, perpetrated by the railroad and I know just where to go to get the answers.  Nick stormed from the house, face black as thunder and mounted Coco tearing out of the yard ignoring Duke’s call.  “What the hells wrong with him wondered Duke as he watched his boss and friend disappear in a cloud of dust.”

 

Nick knew exactly where he’d find that lying bastard and by god he was going to get some answers.  Nobody but nobody was ever going to slander his family like that and get away with it.  Mother, oh my god, please god I pray she hasn’t seen that report.  What was Jarrod thinking leaving it where anybody could read it?  Nick rode on, the rage inside him boiling and bubbling.  All he wanted to do now was get his hands on that damn boy and knock the answers out of him then throw him off the ranch.

 

Nick drew rein and looked down to the south pasture where the boy was working alone on the fence repairs.  He had to admit grudgingly that the boy was a good worker and did the same amount of work as two men in half the time.  Refusing to allow his thoughts sway him from his objective he kicked Coco into motion again and raced down the hill headed for the unsuspecting blond cowboy.

 

Heath Thompson looked up startled as the horse and rider bore down on him.  He barely had time to leap out of the way before the horse was past him.  Nick didn’t even bother to draw rein as he leapt from the heaving horse and advanced on the blue-eyed blond.

 

“Alright boy, who the hell are you and what are ya doin on this ranch?” he bellowed stabbing a finger in the blonds chest.

 

Heath took a couple of steps backwards and raised his arms.

 

“Ya know who I am Nick, the names Heath Thompson and you hired me to work cattle and horse and mend fences remember.”

 

“You’re lyin boy, now I‘m only goin to ask ya once more.  Who are ya and what are ya doin here?”

 

Heath stared back at Nick with ice blue eyes, their father’s eyes but Nick didn’t notice.

 

“I don’t know what your problem is Nick but nobody calls me a liar and gets away with it,” retorted the blond taking another step backwards trying to get some distance between himself and his boss.  Heath wasn’t afraid or a fool.  He needed to get out of Nick Barkley’s reach if he was going to have any chance in the fight that Nick obviously had no intention of avoiding.

 

“Ya work for the railroad don’t ya boy? Ya here to spy on us ain’t ya.  Maybe to set us up for the kill boy.  Just like they did my father six years ago.”

 

Heath stared wide eyed at his boss thinking that he had lost his marbles then he started to laugh, their father’s laugh, but Nick didn’t hear.

 

Nick was beyond cognitive thought.  The boy was laughing at him and he saw red.  Nick stepped forward and swung a roundhouse punch aimed to take Heath’s head off.  Heath saw it coming and ducked underneath it and then dove at Nick knowing his only chance was to get on top. Heath drove the dark haired rancher to the ground and onto his back and got in three solid punches to the mans jaw and face before the other with his extra weight bucked him off.  Heath landed with a jarring thud on his back and gasped at the suddenly reawakened pain he felt.  Before he could roll out of the way Nick was onto him.  Pummeling his face and ribs with rock hard fists.  Blow after blow rained down on the blond who was feebly trying to protect himself.  He didn’t hear it he didn’t have to, because he felt it.  His already weakened ribs gave way under the pounding.  He dropped his arms and tried to roll onto his side desperate to protect himself from further injury.

 

Nick landed two more solid punches before he realized the boy wasn’t fighting back anymore. With his rage finally spent he staggered to his feet and glared down at the blond who was still curled on his side.

 

“I want you off this ranch today boy.  Do ya hear me? And if I ever see ya in this county again I swear I’ll kill ya.”

 

Heath said nothing, just starred at his boss through rapidly closing eyes.  Their father’s eyes and this time Nick saw.  The look of shock on Nick’s face made Heath smile.  Their father’s smile and Nick saw.    Nick’s mind was screaming, “No it’s not possible it’s not possible.”  He staggered to his waiting horse and pulled himself up into the saddle then stared at the blond still lying on the ground.

 

“Remember what I said boy. Get off this ranch and don’t come back.”  Nick wheeled his horse around and rode back up the hill.  Nick couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just made a horrible mistake.  His father’s words from years ago came back to haunt him.

 

“Never, I repeat never, do I want to see you fighting with your brother like that again.  Do I make myself clear Nicholas?”

 

“Yes father,” came the contrite reply as Nick stared into his fathers blue eyes, his brothers blue eyes, Heath’s blue eyes.

 

Nick rode to the top of the hill and then drawing rein turned to look back down below.

 

Heath lay on the ground desperately trying to get air into his lungs but his battered ribs just wouldn’t allow it. Cradling his injured side he tried rolling over enough to get his knees underneath him but his back protested at the movement.  Gritting his teeth against the waves of pain assailing him and the threatening blackness at the edge of his vision he forced himself to his knees.  Giving himself a few minutes to steady his racing heart and quell the threatening nausea he pushed himself to his feet swaying unsteadily.  He staggered over to his waiting Modoc and untied her reins.  Her master’s unnatural movements caused her to move nervously away from him.  Heath found himself flailing desperately for the saddle horn at her sudden movement, but with nothing solid to grasp onto he fell forward and under her dancing hooves. This time he lay still.

 

Nick watched Heath’s failed attempt to mount his Modoc.  He sat starring at the unmoving blond for several minutes going over the fight.  Sure he had pummeled the boy but good and the boy had got some pretty good licks of his own in but the fight hadn’t been that vicious had it.  The boy should have been able to get up on his horse at least.  Vaguely he remember the boys gasp when he landed on his back and then the way he had dropped his arms to protect his ribs not bothering to fight back.  Something was wrong. Unsure why he was doing it, Nick headed back down the slope at a steady lope all the time keeping an eye on the unmoving form under the trees.  Dropping down beside the blond he didn’t have to turn him over to know what the problem was.  The ragged breathing said it all.

 

“Damn it boy, I didn’t hit you that hard,” mumbled Nick as he tried to turn Heath over.

 

A strangled cry stopped him as he heard the blond ground out “back” between gritted teeth.

 

“Ok easy boy let me take a look.”

 

“No,” moaned Heath as he tried unsuccessful to stop Nick from pulling his shirt tail out of his pants and lifting it up to expose his back.  Nick stared in horror at the blonds back.  It wasn’t the scars that shocked him though they were bad enough but he already knew about them didn’t he?  It was the livid black and purple bruises covering his lower back and spreading up his right side towards his chest that held his attention.

 

“Where’d these bruises come from boy?” he growled.

 

“Uncle,” was all Heath could get out before the waiting darkness finally engulfed him.

 

With the boy unconscious, Nick gently rolled him the rest of the way over and onto his back.  Even that movement elicited a groan from the blond.  The bruising on his chest and ribs was just as extensive and dark as that on his back.  It didn’t take Nick long to locate the broken ribs.  At least three by his count and all of them in the darkest area of bruising.

 

“What the hell sort of game were you playing at boy?” he muttered under his breath as he stood up and walked over to the two horses retrieving both water canteens before returning to Heath’s side.

 

He stood over this man who by all accounts was supposed to be his brother.  Once again he heard the words his father spoke and saw his father’s eyes, but this time the eyes weren’t peering at him from his father’s face, they were peering at him from Heath’s face, his brother’s face. Nick dropped to his knees beside Heath and removing his bandana doused it in water and gently wiped the beads of sweat on his brother’s face.  Heath’s breathing was becoming more ragged and laboured as the minutes ticked by.  Nick doubted that even if he wanted to he would be able to get the blond up on a horse for the ride back to the ranch.  He estimated that they probably had another two hours before anybody would come looking for the boy.  He just hoped the boy would still be alive when help arrived.

 

Making sure the two canteens were with in easy reach, Nick sat down behind Heath and then gently drew him back so that he was leaning against his chest.  Almost immediately Nick heard a slight improvement in the blonds breathing.

 

Nick leaned back against the base of the tree and closed his eyes, but opened them again as the afternoons events replayed themselves across his lids.

 

He saw himself standing in Jarrod’s study starring at the Pinkerton Report on the blond cowboy now resting fitfully in his arms.

 

The words announcing that Heath Thompson was his brother, his father’s son kept flashing in front of his eyes.  He remembered sinking down into Jarrod’s chair in numb disbelief as his mind tried to digest then deny what his eyes were reading.  How could he have ever thought that the report and the boy’s been here was nothing but a joke and set up?  The boy’s body bore mute testament that this was no joke.  Nick read again of the beatings the boy, his brother, had suffered throughout his life. Then thought of the last two that hadn’t made the report, yet. One at the hands of his so called uncle no more than three weeks ago and the other at the hands of his own brother less than an hour ago.  That Nick was responsible for his current suffering and broken ribs filled the dark haired rancher with self-loathing.  How could he have allowed his rage to get so out of control?

 

He saw again in his mind’s eye the eyes staring at him, his father’s eyes, he heard again the laugh, his father’s laugh but each time he chose to ignore what he knew to be true, because, because why?  Because he wasn’t prepared to allow the memory of his father to be tarnished in anyway.  To accept the boy as his brother meant acknowledging that his father was no longer perfect was no longer a hero in his eyes and accept that he wouldn’t. Nick looked down at the sleeping form in his arms and cried silently “Father what have I done?  What have we done?”

 

 

   * * * * * * * *

 

 

Heath was just starting to claw his way back to consciousness.  He could feel somebody holding him but he had no idea who it was.  He tried to move, to turn his head but that sent waves of pain coursing through his battered body and he groaned out loud.

 

“Easy Heath, don’t try to move,” whispered Nick in his ear.

 

The voice, the words, the sudden recognition of who was holding him startled Heath into full wakefulness and he tried to pull out of Nick’s arms.  The movement caused him to cry out in agony as he futilely clutched at his side then his stomach as the nausea rose in one swift tide.  Nick barely had time to turn Heath’s head as the contents of his stomach were expelled beside them.  Nick continued to hold Heath as he gagged and wretched between gasps for breath.  Finally spent Heath sagged in Nick’s arms once more.  Nick eased him back against his chest again and wiped the sweaty face and mouth before offering the canteen.

 

“Can’t, won’t stay down,” moaned the blond through gritted teeth.

 

“Just rinse ya mouth out then boy.”

 

At the word boy, Heath started struggling against Nick’s hold.

 

“Let me go, I ain’t your boy, I ain’t nobody’s boy, “ he grounded out.

 

“Ok, sorry Heath, didn’t mean ta upset ya.  Lay back and be still.  You’ve got at least three busted ribs and”

 

“Yeah, well no thanks to you.”

 

Even through the pain that was threatening to send him back to oblivion he felt Nick stiffen behind him and suck in a quick breath of air at his words.  Maybe this loud-mouthed brother of mine has a conscience after all he thought as he drifted back to unconsciousness.  Nick felt Heath’s body go limp in his arms again and this time when he looked down there was nothing but concern in his eyes.

 

 

 

Part 3

Understanding

 

Jarrod Barkley returned to the ranch shortly after noon, having sent off a wire to Eugene to come home immediately.  His youngest brother should be home in two days if he leaves on tonight’s train he thought.  Ciego came from the barn and took Jingo’s reins.

 

“Senor Barkley, you need him again today?”

 

“No thanks Ciego, you can bed him down for me.  I don’t suppose Nick or that new hand Heath Thompson are around?”

 

“No senor.  Haven’t seen Heath since early this morning and Senor Nick, he rode out about two hours ago in a real hurry.”

 

Jarrod turned to the house with a slightly worried expression on his face.

 

“Thank you Ciego,” was all he said as he hurried towards the front door.

 

The report, where had he left the report?   Not bothering to call for Silas, Jarrod headed straight to his study and stopped in the doorway starring at the mess on his desk.  His face lost some of its colour as he strode across the room.  The Pinkerton report lay open its papers in an untidy mess.  He also noted that the figures he and Nick had been working on that morning were gone.

 

“Nick what have you done?” he cried as he raced from the house towards the barn.  “Why couldn’t you just wait?”

 

“Ciego, saddle Jingo for me and hurry.”

 

“Si Senor, right away.”

 

Jarrod was pacing outside the barn, willing Ciego to hurry.  Nick already had at least a two-hour head start on him.

 

“Ciego do you know where Heath was working today?” he asked as the wrangler brought his horse from the barn.

 

“No Senor, but perhaps Senor Duke can tell you. He is coming now.”

 

Jarrod turned to see Duke McCall the ranch foreman coming towards him from the bunkhouses.

 

“Duke do you know where Nick or Heath Thompson are?” he asked not bothering about pleasantries.

 

Duke looked keenly at Jarrod noting his agitated state.

 

“Heath’s repairing fences in the south pasture and Nick rode out of here about two hours ago and he weren’t in a good mood.  I wanted to speak to him about Heath actually but he didn’t take any notice when I called out to him.”

 

Jarrod studied the older man intently.

 

“What about Heath, Duke?”

 

“I don’t rightly know Jarrod, but I think the boy’s hurt only he won’t admit it.  I’ve asked him a couple of times to go see the doc and he refuses, just says he fine.  I was hoping that Nick might be able to order him to go see Doc Merar.”

 

Jarrod said nothing, his thoughts racing.  If Duke was right and the boy was already hurt and if Nick had read the report, which he had no doubt that he had, then the boy could be in real trouble.  Jarrod had no illusions as to Nick’s purpose in riding out.  He was going after the boy and answers.  Jarrod mounted Jingo then turned to look at the foreman.

 

“Duke, do me a favour.  Hitch up the wagon and head to the south pasture.  I’ve a feeling it may be needed and have someone ride in to town and bring Doc Merar back here.

 

If Duke was surprised at the orders he didn’t show it.

 

“Sure thing Jarrod.  Where are you going?”

 

Without turning to look back as he spurred his horse forward Jarrod called of his shoulder, “to find my brothers.”

 

If Duke was startled by the Counselors words he kept his thoughts to himself.  “Looks like the cat’s outta the bag now.  Wondered how long it would take for them to figure it out.  Sure hope the boy’s alright.  Nick was in a foul mood when he left he,” he mused as he watched Jarrod’s departing back before heading to the barn to hitch up the team.

 

Jarrod’s mind was racing as he rode hard across the open range.  Nick had a good two hours head start on him and it would take at least an hours steady riding to reach the south pasture.   “Why had he left the report on his desk?  He should have followed his instincts and locked it in the safe before leaving.  It was this very reaction of Nick’s that he and mother were so worried about.

 

They both knew Nick’s volatile emotions ran close to the surface and especially those involving their father.  Of all of them Nick had had the most trouble accepting their father’s death at the hands of the railroad six years ago.  Nick had put their father on an untouchable pedestal and his fall from grace was not going to be an easy pill for his younger brother to swallow.

 

Jarrod looked back over the last twenty-four hours since the report had arrived.  Perhaps they should have told Nick last night instead of waiting for Gene to return.  At least there would have been extra hands around to keep the two brothers from tearing each other apart.  Jarrod had the feeling that perhaps Heath wasn’t going to be any more ready to accept his parentage than Nick was.

 

Jarrod crested the rise and looked down on the scene below.  He saw the two horses standing quietly under the shade of the trees and the partly repaired fence.  What made his heart leap into his mouth was the sight of his dark haired brother cradling his blond brother in his arms.  With his heart filled with trepidation Jarrod kicked his horse into motion again and hurried down the slope. “God Nick, what have you done?” his mind screamed before he could stop the thought.  “Maybe Duke was right and the boy was hurt and Nick found him like this.”  He hoped so but doubted the thought even as it took shape.

 

Jarrod drew rein and looked down at his brothers.  Somewhere, somehow in the last twenty-four hours he had come to accept this blond cowboy as his brother.

 

“Nick what happened?”  He asked quietly squatting beside the two men.  It was obvious the blond had broken ribs.  He could tell by the ragged breathing and the quiet moans as he tried to draw a breath.

 

“Nick!” Jarrod reached out and gently shook his brothers shoulder.  He was stunned at the sight of the pair of anguish filled hazel eyes that stared back at him.

 

“I didn’t do it Jarrod, I mean I did some of it, that is, but not all of it.  I swear Jarrod I wouldn’t have hit him if I’d known.  Jarrod ya gotta believe me.”

 

“Nick what are you talking about, you’re not making any sense.”

 

“Look at his chest Jarrod and if you think that’s good you should see his back and I don’t mean the scars either.”

 

The look of concern on Jarrod’s face quickly turned to shock as he pulled open the blue shirt and got his first look at the boy’s chest.

 

“Duke was right,” he said quietly.

 

“Duke knew about this,” roared Nick sitting forward suddenly causing the blond in his arms to cry out.

 

“Nick sit still,” ordered Jarrod.  “Duke didn’t know what was wrong, he just suspected Heath was carrying an injury.  He’d tried a couple of times to get the boy to see the doctor but he wouldn’t go.  That’s what he wanted to talk to you about when you rode out this morning.  He was going to ask you to speak to him about seeing the doc.

 

Nick said nothing, just sat there resting against the tree looking down at this boy who was his brother.

 

“How could his uncle do this to him, beat him like that, he’s family?”

 

“Well brother Nick, it would seem you just did the same thing and you’re his brother.  Perhaps you should ask yourself the same question.”

 

Nick turned blazing eyes on his older brother.

 

“Don’t give me one of your lectures Counselor Barkley and don’t remind me.  I know what I did and I’m not proud of it,” growled Nick.  “We need to get him home and to a doctor.”

 

“Duke should be here soon with a wagon and I also asked him to send a rider for Doc Merar.  He should be waiting when we get back.”

 

“Duke?”  Nick eyed his brother suspiciously. “What the hell were you thinking Jarrod?”

 

Jarrod stared at Nick, hoping his eyes wouldn’t betray his thoughts.

 

“I wasn’t thinking anything Nick, until Duke said he thought Heath was hurt.  I doubted he,” pointing a finger at Heath, “would tell you and knowing you dear brother as I do I thought a wagon may come in useful for both of you.”  Jarrod eyed his brother’s face.  “I’m glad to see that you didn’t get off scot free either Nick.  That shiner’s coming along nicely.  So is the one on your jaw.”

 

In spite of himself Nick smiled as he gingerly felt his jaw and left eye.  He’d almost forgotten the blows Heath had landed in the first few seconds of the fight.

 

“Gotta hand it to him though, he sure does pack a punch in those fists.  I’d hate to fight him when he’s fit.”

 

Neither brother had noticed Heath regain consciousness so engrossed were they in their conversation and Heath had no intentions of letting them know.  He lay quietly in Nick’s arms with his eyes closed but his mind reeling.  They had called him their brother.  How had they found out? He had been so careful he thought.  If they knew, who else knew?  Not her he hoped.  He really hadn’t thought about what he was going to do when he got here but he certainly hadn’t planned on this.

 

Ending up lying on his back in his brother’s arms out on the range.  Damn his uncle he thought.  If it wasn’t for him I bet I could have taken that loud-mouthed brother of mine.  He felt Nick wiping down his chest and face again.  The cool water felt good on his skin and he kept his eyes closed.

 

“Jarrod what made you get the Pinkertons to investigate Heath?”

 

Heath’s eyes flew open.  So that was it.  They had had him investigated.

 

“Mother asked me too Nick.  She knew the first time she saw him that he was father’s son but she had to be certain before she said anything.”

 

“Now what Jarrod, has she accepted him like we have?  You believe he’s father’s son too don’t you Jarrod?  God knows I do, now.  He’s so like father in so many ways it’s uncanny.”

 

“Yes Nick, I do believe he’s our brother.  He’s certainly stubborn enough to be a Barkley.”

 

“You had me investigated?” growled Heath raising his head a little to look at his oldest brother.  The movement sending waves of pain crashing through his side and back and making him groan out loud. Unconsciously he grabbed Nick’s arm and squeezed hard as he fought to stay in control.

 

“Why the hell didn’t you just ask me if I was your father’s bastard son? He ground out.  “Or better still why didn’t ya investigate me twenty-four years ago when I was born?”  He ignored his brother’s sucked in breaths at his words, just as Jarrod chose to ignore his brother’s remarks.

 

“Would you have told us if we had asked Heath?” questioned Jarrod, blues eyes searching pain filled blue eyes.

 

“Don’t know.”

 

“What were you going to do Heath? What were your plans?”

 

“Not this.  I only came to see what it was like.  To see how my family lived while mama and me scratched out a living in that stinking mining town.”

 

“To see Heath, or to stay as part of the family.”

 

Heath was having trouble keeping his eyes open again.

 

“I wasn’t gonna stay, I was gonna leave at the end of the month.”  Heath’s eyes closed as he sank back into the welcome darkness.

 

Hazel eyes stared at blue eyes as the implications of what their brother had just said sunk in.  Understanding dawned bright and clear.  Their new brother wasn’t planning on staying.

 

 

 

Part 4

Coming To Terms - Part 1

 

The gentle rustling of her skirts announced the arrival of the diminutive matriarch of the Barkley Empire.  Jarrod rose from his seat in the parlour, his face showing the strain of the last few hours and looked sadly at his mother.

 

“Jarrod, why is Howard here, who is hurt?” Victoria’s hand flew to her mouth at the sight of her son’s face.  “My god it’s Nick isn’t it?  Jarrod please tell me what happened.”

 

Jarrod strode over to his mother and took her in his arms.

 

“No mother, it’s not Nick, Nick is fine.  He’s helping Howard upstairs.  I was just waiting for you and Audra to return.”

 

“Well if it’s not you or Nick who is it?”  Victoria’s eyes widened suddenly in understanding, if it wasn’t either of her son’s here on the ranch or Audra it had to be…

 

“My god it’s Heath isn’t it?”

 

Jarrod gently took an arm each of his mother and sister and lead them over to the settee then took the seat opposite them.

 

‘Yes Mother, Heath was injured today.”

 

Audra looked from her mother to her brother not understanding why the new ranch hand was causing so much grief.

 

“Tell me what happened please Jarrod.  Is he going to be all right?”

 

“I don’t know Mother, we’ll have to wait for Howard to come down.”  Jarrod turned anguished eyes to his mother.  “It’s all my fault.”

 

“Jarrod, I don’t understand.  How is it your fault?  You left this morning, before us, for Stockton.”

 

“Mother what are you and Jarrod talking about.  What is so special about the new hand and why is he in the house.”

 

“Audra I know you have lots of questions and I promise I will explain it all to you soon, but please I need to know what happened this afternoon.  Jarrod?”

 

Jarrod took a deep breath and held his mother’s hands in his.

 

“Nick found the report, read either some or all of it and then went after Heath.  They had a fight and Heath ended up with broken ribs.  We brought him back here and Howard and Nick are with him now.”

 

“Jarrod are you telling me that one of my son’s hit another man hard enough to break his ribs?”

 

“No mother, that’s the problem.  Nick didn’t hit him hard enough to do that much damage. He just finished what somebody else had started.”

 

“Jarrod what are you trying to say.”

 

“From what Heath told Nick his uncle beat him just before he came here.  Mother you should see the bruises on his chest they’re almost black and Nick said his backs no better. I guess his ribs had already been weakened by the earlier beating and they broke during the fight.”

 

Victoria stared at Jarrod in a horrified silence.  This couldn’t be happening.  She knew Nick could be hothead at times and usually acted before he thought things through but she wouldn’t believe that he would deliberately set out to injure another person. Surely if he had read all of the report and not just the first few lines he would have understood and not gone after Heath.

 

“Jarrod this isn’t your fault.  I should have told Nick and Audra last night.  He must feel as though we’ve been keeping secrets from him.  I need to see him now, both of them.  I’m sorry to ask this of you but can you please explain to Audra what is happening.”

 

Jarrod nodded, “of course I will Mother.”

 

“Audra dear I will answer any questions you may have after I have seen Howard and your brothers.”   Victoria stood abruptly and left the room to ascend the stairs to the second floor.

 

Audra sat starring after her mother and then turned to Jarrod with a stunned look on her face.

 

“Jarrod did Mother just say brothers?”  She asked not daring to take her eyes of her oldest brother.

 

“Yes Audra she did.  Heath Thompson is father’s son, our brother.” He replied gently moving to sit beside her on the settee.

 

“I don’t understand, how is that possible?”

 

“Audra do you remember hearing about the time when father went to Strawberry and didn’t come home for several months?”

 

Jarrod waited for his sister’s nod and then continued.

 

“While father was in Strawberry he was injured and was looked after by a woman called Leah Thompson.”

 

Audra’s eyes widened in understanding.  She may be only been twenty but the implications of what her brother was trying to tell her weren’t lost on her either.

 

“You mean father had an affair and Heath is the result of that affair?”

 

Jarrod squeezed his sister’s hands and searched her face trying to read her thoughts.

 

“Yes Audra I do.”

 

Jarrod watched for her reaction to his confirmation.  Audra sat quietly deep in thought and then turned to her brother.

 

“Oh poor mother, no wonder she was so distracted today.” She whispered through tear filled eyes. She then carefully studied her brother’s face

 

“Jarrod do you and Mother believe what he told you? That he’s father’s son?

 

“Audra honey, Heath didn’t tell us anything.  In fact he only admitted it out on the range this afternoon when Nick and I pressed him for an answer.”

 

“Then how?”

 

“Mother knew the first time she saw him honey, she asked me to have him investigated.”

 

“The report you spoke of.  The one Nick found this morning?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Jarrod, did Nick, did he really….”

 

Jarrod squeezed his sister’s hands.

 

“It’s not what you think Audra, they were both fighting, both too stubborn to listen to the other, and while I don’t for one minute condone what our brother did, Nick didn’t know he was already hurt.  None of us did.  If anything it’s my fault.  I should have locked the report away.  I just didn’t think Nick would ride in and find it before Mother and I had a chance to speak to you, Nick and Eugene.”

 

“Eugene? Is he coming home Jarrod?”

 

“Yes, I wired him this morning, he should be home the day after tomorrow.”

 

“Good, he needs to be here too.”

 

Audra fell silent for several minutes and Jarrod left her to her thoughts.

 

“Jarrod I know you haven’t told me everything, but Mother and you and Nick have already accepted Heath as father’s son haven’t you? I know Nick has or he wouldn’t have stayed up there with him.  Am I right Jarrod?”

 

“Yes little sister you are.”

 

Audra stood up.  “Thank you Jarrod for telling me.  Mother needs me now and so do my brothers.”

 

Jarrod stared nonplussed as his sister headed towards the stairs.  He could only marvel at her composure and acceptance of the situation.  He was sure that there would be many questions and tears in the near future, but for now she was right.  Their mother and brothers need their help and support.

 

Victoria stood in the doorway of the room Heath was lying in and stared in shocked disbelief at the sight that greeted her.  Nick was supporting the blond cowboy, whispering in his ear while he rubbed his back as Howard began to wrap his ribs.  Victoria couldn’t see the boy’s face but she was sure that he was unconscious.  Obviously something had happened out on the range to change her middle son’s mind towards the man in the bed. The bruises that Jarrod was referring to stood out stark against his pale skin.  Regaining her composure she entered the room.

 

“Howard how is he?”

 

Howard Merar looked up momentarily before resuming his task.

 

“I won’t lie to you Victoria, this boy’s sick.  Broken ribs, severe bruising to his chest and back, some internal bleeding that appears to have stopped and he’s under nourished.  Frankly I’m surprised he’s lasted as long as he has.  If I didn’t know better I’d say he’s a Barkley.  Twice as stubborn as Nick if you ask me.”

 

With his bandaging completed he turned to Nick and didn’t notice the startled expression that his words caused Victoria.

 

“Ok Nick ease him back on the pillows gently.  We need to keep him upright, make sure no fluid settles in his lungs.  I doubt he’s strong enough right now to cough it up.”

 

“Howard, the bruising on his back and chest.  Do you know how that happened?”

 

Before Howard could respond Nick turned furious eyes towards his mother and spat out, “his Uncle Matt snuck up behind him and took a shovel to him while he was tending his mother’s grave.  I swear Mother if I ever lay eyes on that no good no account uncle of his he’ll wish he’d never been born.”

 

Victoria and Howard weren’t the only ones startled to hear Nick’s words. Jarrod and Audra had just arrived in time to hear Doctor Howard’s prognosis and Nick’s words, but it was the voice from the bed that made them all jump.

 

“Leave it be Nick, he’s my problem not yours.  I shoulda killed him long ago when I had the chance.”

 

All eyes turned to the bed at its occupant’s words.  Heath was looking around him wildly, struggling to rise.  Nick put his hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back into the pillows ignoring the glare directed at him.

 

“Where am I?”

 

Victoria moved to the side of the bed and looked down at this unknown son of her husbands.  He was so like her Tom she thought.  Her heart went out to him in those few moments.  They had a lifetime of catching up to do.  Heath for his part watched her closely for any signs of hate, contempt, bitterness, loathing, disgust.  All the things usually attributed to his parentage but all he saw in her eyes was compassion and something else he couldn’t quite recognize.

 

“You’re at the ranch sweetheart, Nick and Jarrod brought you back here.”

 

“This ain’t the bunkhouse, I can’t stay here.”

 

Again Heath struggled to sit up but this time his own body defeated his efforts before his brother could and he sagged back into the pillows gasping for breath.

 

“I’m Doctor Merar young man and I am telling you that you are staying in this bed.  You’ve been badly beaten and today’s little escaped,” throwing a glare at Nick, “hasn’t helped your cause any.  I can’t understanding why you didn’t come and see me earlier,” he said shaking his head.

 

“Been beaten before, will be again, makes no never mind, I’m fine.”

 

“You are most certainly not fine, you have broken ribs.  You sir, need time to let your body heal.”  Taking on a quieter tone Doctor Merar continued.  “Son let these people help you.”

 

Heath closed his eyes and settled back into the pillows.  Right now he was too tired and too sore to argue.  All he needed was a few hours sleep he thought drifting off unaware of the eyes watching him.

 

Howard cleared his throat snapping four pairs of eyes back to him.

 

“Victoria I’ll leave some pain medicine for him.  I have a feeling he’s going to need it, whether he wants it or not.  Also I don’t want him out of that bed for the next week.  I’m still concerned about internal bleeding. Come and get me immediately if he passes any blood.  I’ll be back tomorrow to check on him.”

 

Howard patted Victoria’s arm in passing.

 

“Don’t worry he’s young and strong.  He’ll be fine especially with the care I know he’ll get here.”

 

Victoria smiled briefly.  “Thank you Howard, Jarrod will see you out.”

 

“No need Victoria, I think I can find my way to the door by now.”

 

Victoria nodded and turned back to the bed where she stood watching the rise and fall of the blond’s chest.  Turning to look at each of her children but allowing her gaze to rest longest on her middle son she said quietly in a voice that brook no argument.

 

“I want to see all of you in the study now.”

 

“But Mother, shouldn’t”

 

“He’s asleep Nicholas, he’s not going anywhere.”

 

“But”

 

“Now Nicholas”

 

“Yes Mother.”

 

Jarrod and Audra looked on with interest at the exchange between mother and son.

 

“It would appear our new brother has gained a protector,” Jarrod whispered in his sister’s ear.

 

Audra nodded, her gaze resting on the face of this new brother that up until now she had only seen from a distance.  She suddenly felt a strong need to get to know this brother as quickly as possible.

 

 

 

Part 5

Coming To Terms - Part 2

 

“Nick will you stop pacing.  You’ll wear a hole in the floor the way you’re going.”

 

Nick glared at Jarrod and stopped his pacing as requested.

 

“I should be up there with him.  What if he wakes up?  He’s just fool enough to try and get outta that bed on his own.”

 

Victoria sat quietly on the settee her full attention riveted on her middle son and his words.  That her son felt deep guilt over his actions of the afternoon came as no surprise to her.  He might be hotheaded and often acted before thinking, but he was also the first to apologize when he found himself in the wrong.  Although in this instance she didn’t think the apology would be accepted in good grace.

 

She watched as he started pacing again.  That her son’s mind was in turmoil she also had no doubt.  She could clearly see the emotions flickering across his face.  Rage, guilt, horror, sorrow, hope, longing.  Each emotion waging a silent war in his mind and heart.  She sighed deeply.  How she regretted now not telling him about Heath last night.  She felt responsible for the day’s events.  As their mother wasn’t it her duty to keep all her children safe?  She had let them all down by keeping the truth from them and now they were all paying the price, not just Heath.

 

She thought back to the scene she had witnessed in the bedroom.  Nick talking to his injured brother, comforting him as the Doctor worked on his injured ribs.  The care and compassion in Nick’s voice was unmistakable.  Somewhere during the day’s events her middle son had gone from total denial at Heath’s presence on the ranch to acceptance.  It wasn’t just acceptance of the situation either.  It was acceptance of the blond cowboy as his brother.  In the past she had seen the same concern he showed for Heath today, when one his other siblings was sick or injured.  That Nick had so suddenly, in a matter of hours, gone from denial to acceptance did concern her and she needed to know his thoughts.

 

“Nicholas, please come and sit down and tell me what you’re thinking.”

 

Nick turned startled eyes to his mother.  He had been expecting a tongue-lashing as his mother brought her wrath down on his head but not this. Her soft voice and the compassion he saw in her eyes unnerved him for a second.  Jarrod and Audra were also surprised at their mother’s demeanor.  Like Nick they had expected to see her wrath.

 

Nick looked at each of his family members and sighed deeply, before sitting in the chair opposite his mother.  They all waited quietly for him to gather his thoughts.

 

“I don’t know what I was thinking Mother.  I only saw the report by accident when I knocked the files off Jarrod’s desk.  When I saw the name on the report I was curious to see why Jarrod had had the boy investigated, so I…I read it.  Or at least the first few lines then I guess I just saw red.  There was no way father could ever have done that to you, to us.  It just wasn’t possible.  I thought it was some kind of sick joke and that Crown and the railroad had something to do with it.”  Nick stopped speaking and looked up with anguish filled eyes.

 

“Did you read the rest of the report darling or just the first page?” Victoria prompted gently.

 

“I read it Mother, every da..., every word and the more I read the angrier I got.  It just didn’t seem possible or believable what was written in the report.  I mean no man could survive what he lived through and he was only a boy.  Do you know how many men died in prisons like Carterson during and after the war? And here we were to believe that a boy of fifteen could survive the starvation and beatings when grown men couldn’t.  Even accepting him as a Union sharpshooter was a fair stretch of the imagination.  I chose not to believe what was in the report, chose to deny all it implied.  Chose my father’s memory over a living person.”

 

Audra’s quiet sobs were the only thing heard in the study for several minutes.  Jarrod took his distraught sister in his arms and held her close to his chest until she quieted.

 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that honey,” he whispered gently in her ear.

 

“Is, is it true? Was he in the war and Carterson?”

 

“Yes sweetheart he was.”

 

Victoria took Nick’s hands in hers.

 

“What happened next Nick?”

 

“I rode outta here looking for answers.  To prove that it was all a lie.  That the railroad was behind it and we were been set up just like father was six years ago.”

 

“What did Heath say when you confronted him.”

 

“He denied knowing what I was talking about.  Said his name was Heath Thompson and he hired on to work cattle and horses.  He kept staring at me with those blue eyes of his, father’s eyes, but I just wouldn’t allow my self to see it.  Then he started laughing and it was like father was standing in front of me having a joke at my expense.  I could hear father’s laughter but I ignored it and took a swing at him instead.”

 

“What happened next? How did Heath get hurt?”

 

“I don’t really know, my swing missed and he took me down then landed a couple of good punches,” Nick stopped speaking for a minute and subconsciously fingered his bruised jaw and black eye, “I threw him off and then took the fight to him.  I guess I hit him a few times in the chest and ribs.  He stopped fighting after that and just lay there staring at me with father’s eyes.”

 

Victoria took several deep breaths to steady her nerves and to allow Nick’s words to find a place in her soul.

 

“Why did you go back Nick, what made you believe him?  You do believe him now don’t you?  Your brother and the report.”

 

Nick swallowed the drink Jarrod offered him and continued.

 

“Yes I believe him, I believe every last word in that stinking report.  I kept seeing father’s eyes and smile and hearing his laugh as I rode away.  I stopped at the top of the slope and looked back.  I saw Heath try to mount and fall under his horse.  When he didn’t get up I knew something was wrong so I went back to check him out.  I swear Mother I didn’t know his ribs were broken till I rode back to him.  He said his back was hurting and I remembered him gasp like he was in pain when I threw him off.  He didn’t want me to look at his back but he wasn’t in any fit state to stop me.  Up until I saw his back, the scars and all the bruising I still wasn’t sure what to believe, but god I believe now.  He is my brother; he is father’s son and I want him to stay here with us.  I want to get to know him properly and not just as one of the hands.”

 

He looked deep into his mother’s grey eyes.

 

“What I can’t accept is father’s behaviour.  He has betrayed all us with his actions and I just don’t know how to handle that.”

 

Nick let his head hang on his chest and sank back into the chair utterly exhausted by the days events.  A heavy silence hung over the room as each of them came to terms with their own thoughts and Nick’s words.  Finally Victoria spoke quietly.

 

“Nick, I am so sorry for the pain I have put you through this afternoon.  I should never have kept this from you or you Audra.  I wanted time to think about what this would mean to this family and to Heath.  To think how this would change your perceptions of your father.  How this would change my faith in my husband. I forgave your father for the affair he had with Heath’s mother, but even I’m not sure if I can forgive him or myself for not going back to check if there was ever a child.  I pray with all my heart that he didn’t know about Heath.  That Heath’s coming here would have been just as much of a shock to him if he were still alive as it has been for us.  For my own piece of mind I have to believe that he didn’t know.  Your father wasn’t a cruel or uncaring man and I believe he would never have allowed any child of his to grow up under the conditions that Heath found himself in.   He placed a high value on a person’s life, a value that ultimately cost him his own life.”

 

Victoria paused to allow her words to settle and to gather her thoughts once more before continuing.

 

“Nick your father taught you those very same values and I know you have a far higher regard for a person’s life than what you showed to your brother today.  I am also in no doubt that you have regretted your actions of this afternoon and I also suspect that you have regretted them from the very first swing you took at Heath.  You know my feelings about fighting.  It doesn’t solve anything and certainly not in this case. Please let this be a lesson to you to stop and think before acting recklessly in the future.  I only hope that both you and Heath can get past this and forge a lasting partnership.  A partnership that I feel you both need. Your father has given us a precious gift, a gift from the grave if you like.  He has given us a piece of himself and we need to embrace and nurture that gift.”

 

Nick looked up and it was as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.  He stood and moved to the seat next to his diminutive mother encircled her in his arms and whispered, “thank you” in her ear.

 

Victoria smiled and patted his arm, her own mood lightening.

 

“Now, it would appear we are all in agreement, that we accept Heath as been Thomas Barkley’s son.  It is also very apparent that each of us wants him to stay on at the ranch as a part of this family.  The question remains whether or not Heath even knows of his parentage or if he will be willing to stay.”

 

“He knows who his father is.  Told us in no uncertain terms this afternoon while we were waiting for the wagon.  He also knows that we had him investigated and he said that he was leaving at the end of the month.”

 

Victoria looked hard at Jarrod, the shock of his words send a cold chill down her spine.

 

Nick spoke up, “we were talking about the report and didn’t realize he was awake.”

 

“What exactly did he say?”

 

“ Ah”

 

“Tell me now please, I can’t help him if I don’t know what he is feeling.”

 

Nick looked to Jarrod for help, only to get a shrug of the shoulders in reply.  Taking a deep breath he continued.

 

“He said he was our father’s bastard son and that we should have had him investigated when he was born.  Said he only came here to see how we lived while he and his mama scratched out a living.  Said he hadn’t planned on staying.”  Nick lowered his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the sadness his words caused his mother.

 

All further thought was pushed from their minds when they heard a crash from upstairs.  Nick leapt from his seat and was through the study door before the rest of them had a chance to move but they all smiled at his words.

 

“Damn fool boy, can’t do anything he’s ever told.  Got a stubborn streak in him a mile wide.  That’s gotta prove he’s a Barkley.”

 

Jarrod headed for the door, “this should be interesting.”

 

“Stay here please Jarrod, this is something Nick needs to handle on his own.”

 

Jarrod studied his mothers face and then smiled.  “I believe dear lady that you may just be right about that.”

 

“What the hell do you think your doing boy?” Nick roared as he raced through the door into Heath’s room forgetting his dislike of the word boy.

 

Heath was struggling to get up from the floor, the small night table beside his bed lying next to him.  Nick strode across the room and dropped to the floor beside his new brother.

 

“Come on Heath, let me help you up.  You know what the doc said, you’re not suppose to get outta bed.”

 

“I don’t need anymore of your help Nick, I think you’ve done enough already.  And another thing, I ain’t your boy.”

 

Heath didn’t see the hurt look in Nick’s eyes.  He had his head down desperately trying to ward off the encroaching blackness and draw in a decent breath of air.  His ribs hurt and his back hurt and he wanted to be anywhere but here, in this room.  He tried pushing himself up again, only to cry out at the searing pain in his side and then collapse into his brother’s arms.  Nick sat on the floor cradling his blond brother in his arms for several minutes before calling for Jarrod to help lift him back onto the bed.

 

“Tell Mother I’m going to stay here with him Jarrod.”

 

Jarrod could only sympathize with his brother.  He knew how desperately Nick needed to talk to Heath.

 

“I’ll have Silas send you up a tray and a fresh bowl of water.  Call me if you need help.”

 

Jarrod watched as his brother righted the overturned table and picked up the empty bowl before moving the old wing back chair to the side of the bed and sitting down head resting in his hands.

 

“It’ll be all right Nick.”

 

“I hope so Jarrod, I truly hope so.”

 

 

 

Part 6

Coming To Terms - Part 3

 

Heath woke to the sounds of snoring not more than five feet from his ear. The room was dimly lit by the lamp sitting on the dresser and it took him several seconds to become accustomed to the soft glow.

 

Not entirely sure where he was, only knowing that his body felt as though it had been run over by a herd of wild horse he turned slightly to get a better view of who was making all the noise.  His blues eyes widened in surprise at the sight of his loud mouthed brother sleeping in the chair beside him with his feet propped up on the edge of the bed.

 

With startling clarity the last few week’s events came crowding back into his mind.  His mother’s death, the fight or should he say beating at the hands of his uncle.  He owed him one he thought and as soon as he was well enough to get out of this bed he was going back to Strawberry to finish what his uncle had started.  He remembered riding up to the ranch and asking his brother, the very same one snoring loudly beside him for a job, and the afternoons fight.  He studied the dark haired cowboy beside him and smiled when he caught sight of the blackened eye and bruised jaw.  We ain’t finished yet either Nick Barkley he promised himself.

 

As he lay there quietly gathering his thoughts he remembered other events.  The richness and beauty of the grazing land he traveled through to get to the house.  The very house he was now a guest in.  He felt anger when he looked at all they had and then thought of his mother and their little two-room house.  He remembered the quizzical looks he received from both the foreman Duke McCall and his oldest brother Jarrod as both of them stared at him.  For some reason he felt sure that the foreman knew who he was but he didn’t see how that was possible and he wasn’t sure what he had seen in Jarrod’s eyes.

 

Then there was her.  He had only seen her fleetingly for a few moments down by the corral, but in those moments he had seen shock and recognition displayed across her face when their eyes had locked.  He shook his head as he remembered his brother Jarrod’s words of a few hours ago.  “She knew the first time she saw him that he was father’s son.” His mind screamed, NO it wasn’t possible.  Until three weeks ago they had never met, never laid eyes on one another.

 

Heath made his decision, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t stay here, not now, not when they knew who he was.  He had seen the compassion in her eyes as she stood beside his bed those few hours ago.  Compassion and sorrow.  He had felt as though he was looking at his mama but it wasn’t his mama’s face.  He couldn’t stay here and be a reminder to her of what her husband, his father had done.  He should never have come here.  This was no place for him.

 

He tried to ease his battered body over to the far side of the bed but the movement sent a shaft of pain stabbing through his side and back causing him to groan out loud.  Damn his uncle, damn his brother, damn Carterson he thought as he lay back against the pillows gasping for breath eyes closed.

 

The sound of two feet thudding to the floor and a chair been flung backwards brought his eyes open again.  He blinked a couple of times as the pain settled into a dull ache, then looked at his brother standing above him.

 

“Easy Heath, the doc said ya not supposed to move,” chided Nick gently, a smile upon his face, although his eyes showed concern.

 

Heath closed his eyes again.  His brother was smiling at him.

 

“Mmmm” was all he managed to get out.

 

“Want some water?”

 

Heath opened his eyes again and stared at his brother.  He was kinda thirsty.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Nick lifted Heath’s head a little and held the glass to his lips.  When his brother had indicated he’d had enough he lowered his head back to the pillow which elicited another groan from the blond.  Nick looked at his brother worriedly.

 

“Ribs?”

 

“Na back.  Always happens when I get hit in it or twist the wrong way.  Hell sometimes I only have to bend over and it goes.  Army doc said I had a slipped disc or something in my lower back cause of all the beatings.  The muscles tighten round the injury and it hurts like hell.  Was just coming good again too.”

 

Nick flinched slightly at the last few words.  He knew they were directed at him.

 

“Can’t they do anything?”

 

“Nope, just have to live with it is all.  I can go for months without any problems then I’ll do something stupid and…”

 

“Why didn’t ya say something when ya first arrived here?” Nick growled with a bit more anger than he had intended.

 

Heath’s eyes blazed.

 

“Yeah right, like I was gonna ask for a job and then say, “Oh by the way I got beat up and I need a few weeks rest afore I start work.”

 

Nick was taken aback by the vehemence in his brother’s voice and he held his hands up in surrender.

 

“I don’t want ta fight with ya Heath, I’m worried about ya is all. If you’d have told me, you could have had the time off.”

 

“Why? So you could wait to see how well I fight when I’m fit?”

 

Both brother’s closed their eyes, neither sure where this conversation was going.  Nick couldn’t blame Heath for been defensive not after the way he had treated him earlier today.  Heath was trying to work out why he was been so objectionable towards Nick.  Hadn’t Nick come back to help him? Stayed with him out on the range? Was still with him now?

 

“Look Heath, I don’t know what to say to ya except sorry.  I acted stupidly today. Should never have done what I did.  Shoulda listened to ya instead.”

 

Heath caught his breath at Nick’s apology and studied his face from under half closed lids. All he could see was regret plainly written across his features.  Despite himself he allowed a small smile to soften his features as he closed his eyes.

 

“Tired,” was all he muttered before he drifted back to sleep.

 

The smile had not been lost on Nick. He settled back into the chair, a smile planted firmly on his own face as he watched this new little brother of his sleep.

 

 

   * * * * * * * *

 

 

Victoria opened the door to Heath’s room and raised an eyebrow at the two brothers both sleeping with a smile on their faces.  Shutting the door quietly she turned, a smile gracing her own features.  Maybe, just maybe everything would work out.  She prayed so as she made her way to her own room.

 

The following morning after a along discussion between Doctor Merar, the family and Heath, much to his embarrassment it was decided that he should sleep propped up on his side.  He had told them that sleeping with his legs curled up instead of straight eased the strain on his lower back.  That and heat.  After satisfying himself that other than bruising there was no serious damage to Heath’s kidneys and no further internal bleeding, Doctor Merar directed the family to keep a steady supply of hot flannels placed over his lower back in an effort to loosen the muscles. Now almost twenty-four hours after the fight, Heath was finally in a deep healing sleep.  Everybody tiptoed around his bed changing the flannels and watching the blond in slumber.

 

Jarrod was becoming exasperated. “Gene you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” he asked bringing the team to a halt under the trees.  They were still several miles from the house but he needed to get this sorted out now before they reached the waiting family and Heath.

 

“I heard you Jarrod,” yelled Gene, face bright red and blue eyes flashing, “and I don’t believe it.  There’s no way father would ever do what you say he did.”  Gene flung himself from the wagon seat and stormed off between the trees.

 

Jarrod sat on the seat shaking his head. How could he have ever thought this would be easy?  He had expected Nick to act this way but not Eugene who was usually the voice of reason.  Jarrod stepped down from the wagon and followed his youngest brother through the trees.  He found him sitting on an old tree stump starring into the distance.

 

“Gene please listen to me and try to understand.”

 

“It’s lies, all lies.”

 

“The Pinkertons don’t lie Eugene, you know that and neither does Mother.”

 

Gene turned and faced Jarrod.

 

“I never said Mother lied Jarrod, stop putting words in my mouth.”

 

“If you’re calling the Pinkertons liars Gene then you’re calling Mother and me, Nick and Audra liars too.  We all believe the report, we all believe that what little Heath has told us is the truth.”

 

“Nick would never believe some bastard who says he’s father’s son over…”

 

That was the final straw for Jarrod. Without letting Gene finish he launched himself at his younger brother knocking him from the stump and pinning him to the ground.

 

“I have had all I’m about to take from you Eugene.  You’re going to listen to me.  Heath is your brother; he is father’s son.  Now we’re going to ride on to the ranch and you’re going to listen to what Mother has to say.  And another thing you are not going to do or say anything to cause Heath or Mother anymore hurt. Do I make myself perfectly clear.”

 

Gene struggled to get out from underneath his brother.

 

“Perfectly clear Mr Barkley,” he spat back, “now get off me.”

 

Jarrod remained where he was, blue eyes locked on blue eyes.  When Gene turned away from his gaze, he released his grip and stood up.  His brother remained lying on the ground for several minutes breathing hard before regaining his feet and storming back to the wagon.  Jarrod watched him go, shaking his head sadly before slowly following and climbing back onto the seat beside his fuming brother.  The remainder of the trip was made in a heavy silence each deep in their own thoughts.

 

Had Eugene had any inkling as to the real reason they wanted him to come home he would never have made the trip. He had been worried sick when the wire arrived thinking something had happened to his mother or one of his siblings.  How could they expect him to accept this person as his brother?  How could they accept the lies been told about his father?  Nick would never accept this he felt sure.  He was only pretending until he could run the imposter off the rancher.  Eugene knew how devoted Nick was to their father’s memory and how he would never let anybody tarnish that memory.

 

Audra was standing impatiently by the front windows waiting for her youngest and oldest brothers to arrive.  Seeing the wagon coming through the gates she called over her shoulder, “they’re here” before flinging open the front door and running down the steps and into the arms of her youngest brother as he jumped from the seat.  That he didn’t greet her with his usual gusto she put down to the long trip from back east.

 

“Hi sis”, he said quietly planting a kiss on the top of her head.

 

He looked around the porch but only saw Nick standing in the doorway.

 

“Nick”

 

Nick raised an eyebrow at the one word greeting and looked beyond his two youngest siblings to Jarrod who only shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

 

“Where’s Mother, sis?”

 

“Upstairs with Heath.  She’ll be so glad you’re here now.  Oh you must come and meet Heath, he’s so like father only a lot quieter.”

 

Gene ignored his sister’s prattling as he allowed her to lead him into the house.  His mother was upstairs with him instead of down here with her family.  Couldn’t Silas look after him!  He pulled his arm out of his little sister’s grip and headed towards the stairs.

 

“Think I’ll go and clean up before I see mother,” he called over his shoulder without looking at any of them.

 

Nick followed his older brother into the study and poured them both a drink.

 

“Ok Pappy, spill it.  What happened on the way to the ranch?”

 

“He refused to listen to anything I said, said it was all lies. Called all of us liars, but not in so many words.  I swear Nick I almost put him over my knee and tanned his backside.  I hope Mother can get through to him.”

 

“Yeah, well if he say’s anything to upset Mother or that boy up there, I’ll do more than tan his backside.”

 

“Now Nick, remember what Mother said.  Think before you act. It was just as much of a shock to him as it was to us.  We’ve just had more time to adjust to it and we did have the advantage of meeting him before we found out who he was.”

 

“Yeah, well maybe you’re right Jarrod, but I’m telling you I’m not going to let Eugene upset this family anymore than it already is.”

 

Eugene stopped outside the door when he heard his Mother’s voice.

 

“Well done Heath, that’s the first decent meal you’ve eaten in days.  Now just lie there while I call Nick to come and help you roll over.”

 

“No need ma’am I can do it myself.”

 

“Heath maybe you can but that’s not the point.  You’ve got a family now and family help one another.  Please let us help you?”

 

Heath sighed, there was no denying this woman when she spoke.  He had learnt that very quickly.

 

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled quietly.

 

Victoria smiled and rose from the chair.  Eugene didn’t know why he did it but he opened the door and stood staring at his mother and the blond in the bed.  Victoria’s face displayed her pleasure as she allowed her youngest son to embrace her and kiss her head.  Heath watched silently from the bed.  So this was his youngest brother, the one studying to be a doctor back east.

 

“Hello Mother,” he smiled at her before turning cold eyes back to the bed.

 

“I’m glad you’re here Gene, I was going to call Nick but perhaps you can help Heath roll onto his side.”

 

Heath watched warily as Eugene approached the bed.  Blue eyes locked on blue eyes in a silent will of minds.  Eventually Gene averted his eyes and helped Heath ease his battered body onto his side.  Heath gasped at the pain the movement still caused him and Gene sucked in a breath when he saw the extent of the bruising and scars on his body that Jarrod had already told him about.

 

“Heath I wish you would take some of the pain medicine Doctor Merar left for you.”

 

“No thank you ma’am, if I can’t feel it I don’t know if I’m moving the wrong way.  Did that once and it took me weeks to get back on my feet.”

 

“Alright, Heath.  Try and get some sleep. I’m sure Nick will be up soon to check on you.”

 

Heath lay on his side and watched Victoria and Eugene walk to the door.

 

“Thanks Gene,” Heath said quietly.

 

Gene turned back to look at Heath.

 

“The name is Eugene,” he said coldly before closing the door.

 

 

 

Part 7

Acceptance - Part 1

 

Supper that night was a strained affair.  Gene refused to acknowledge any of his family and took no part in the halting conversation going on around him.  That he was angry came as no surprise to any of them.  They had all experienced the same emotion only days earlier.  Victoria exasperated at the lack of conversation and pointed looks being passed between the siblings took matters into her own hands.

 

“I have something I wish to show ALL of you in the study.  There will be no exceptions Nicholas.  I’m sure Silas won’t mind sitting with Heath a little longer.”  Her voice left no margin for argument.

 

A chorus of “Yes Mother,” from Nick, Jarrod and Audra greeted her ears.  She looked sharply at her youngest son.

 

“That means you also Eugene.”

 

“Yes Mother,” came the surly reply as he avoided looking at her.

 

Victoria followed her children into the study and watched as they either sat or stood near the hearth.  In her hands she held a small wrapped package.  Addressing all of the, but looking directly at Eugene she spoke in a quiet commanding voice.

 

“I know these last few days have been very difficult for all of us, including Heath and I want to thank you for the love and support you have all shown myself and Heath.

 

“Love,” burst out Eugene.

 

“That will be enough from you young man.  Quite frankly Gene I’m very disappointed with your behaviour since you arrived.  These last few days have been extremely difficult for ALL of us and your present hostility towards your brothers; all of your brothers will no longer be tolerated.”

 

“He’s not my brother.”

 

“He is your brother and I have irrefutable proof.  I should have looked for these weeks ago, when I first suspected, but what I saw I thought was obvious to all of you.  That was my mistake and I am sorry.”

 

“What are they Mother?” asked Audra moving closer to her mother, her curiosity getting the better of her.  “Is that what you were doing in the attic this afternoon? Looking for these.”

 

“Yes dear this is what I was looking for in the attic.”

 

Now that she had all her children’s attention she unwrapped her parcel and handed Jarrod a small framed picture.  She heard their gasps of shock as her children stared at the picture before them.

 

“That is a picture of your father and I several years after our wedding.  Your father was about the same age Heath is now.”

 

“He looks like Heath,” whispered Audra.

 

“Yes he does.”

 

Victoria handed over the second picture in an identical frame.  This time there was no gasp, no words spoken.  A stunned silence settled over the room as the four Barkley siblings starred mesmerized by the face before them.

 

“That is your Uncle Jim, your father’s brother at the same age as Heath.”

 

Jarrod was the first to find his voice as the shock began to wear off.

 

“Have you shown these to Heath yet?”

 

“No Jarrod, I wanted to show all of you first.  I wanted all of you to understand why I feel so strongly about having Heath become a part of this family.”

 

Eugene suddenly jumped up from where he was sitting and rushed from the room whispering, “I’m sorry” in passing.

 

Nick stood to follow him but Victoria caught his arm.

 

“Leave him please Nick, Eugene has some sole searching to do.  I will speak to him after has had some time to calm down.”

 

“If I may speak for the rest of us,” Jarrod waited for a confirming nodded from Nick and Audra before continuing, “I believe dear lady that you have just laid to rest any lingering doubts that we may have entertained as to Heath’s rightful place in this family.  My only reservation is whether our brother upstairs is going to be as accepting as we are.”

 

“He can’t possible deny this,” retorted Nick waving the pictures he was holding under his brothers nose.

 

“Whether he denies the proof in the pictures or not is not the point Nick, it is his acceptance of our offer to become a part of this family that we need.  Remember he has already told us that he knows who his father is.  Those pictures only add credence to his own admission.  Just because he is father’s son and our brother doesn’t mean he will choose to stay.  He has already told us that he was leaving or have you forgotten?”

 

“I haven’t forgotten, but by god I’m not going to let him leave either.  I want him here beside me.”

 

“Nick, what you want really doesn’t matter, we can’t keep him against his will.  He is a grown man after all and fully capable of making his own decisions and what ever those decisions are we will have to learn to live with them.”

 

“Well we’ll just have to convince him to stay won’t we Counselor Barkley.”

 

“Mother when are you going to show Heath the pictures?”

 

“Tomorrow Audra, but first I need to speak to Gene.”

 

Victoria knocked gently on her youngest son’s door.

 

“Gene, are you there? Can I come in?”

 

She waited quietly for a response. When none was forthcoming she turned the knob and silently opened the door.  In the near darkness she could just make out the shape of her son sitting on the edge of the window frame staring out into the blackness beyond.  Victoria moved across to the drawers and turned up the wick of the lamp, throwing an eerie glow around the room.  In the soft light she studied the drawn features of her youngest son.

 

“Eugene, sweetheart we need to talk.”

 

When he didn’t reply, she moved to sit in the chair beside him and reached out to take his hand.  He flinched slightly at her touch but didn’t pull away.

 

“I know this has come as a great shock to you, just as it was to the rest of us, but taking out your anger on your brothers is not going to resolve anything.  I would have thought that with their acceptance of the situation and especially Nick’s you would have been more willing to listen to reason.  None of us has made our decision lightly but the evidence of the truth is undeniable.  Heath is your brother.  Why is it so difficult for you to understand and accept it?”

 

A heavy silence pervaded the room and then Gene drew a deep breath.

 

“I don’t Mother.  When Jarrod first told me I just couldn’t believe it was possible. I always remembered father as a caring and loving man.  All the times he would take Audra and me fishing and riding and for picnics with you when we were little.  I just couldn’t picture him doing what he did.”

 

“What you remember is the aftermath of his time in Strawberry.  Your father was always a caring man but more so after he returned from the mining town.  It was his guilt over his actions that lead to his softer nature especially after Audra and your births.  I think he realized what he had nearly lost and was determined to provide the best life possible for all of us.  But remember this Eugene however you remember him he did father another son and that son had no control over his birth.”

 

“I know Mother, I saw the pictures too and the scars.  I just don’t know if I can ever fully accept him as a brother.  Not in the same way Audra or Nick have anyway.”

 

“What do you mean son?”

 

“Well Audra has done nothing all night but tell me how like father he is.  His eyes, his smile, the way he talks and looks at her and Nick is already talking about him helping to run the ranch.”

 

“Give it time Gene, you haven’t really met him yet.  Once you’ve had a chance to talk to him you might feel differently.”

 

“Have you really spoken to him yet Mother?”

 

“No Gene I haven’t had the chance.  He’s been so sick these last few days that I didn’t want to make things worse, but I intend to show him the pictures tomorrow and have a long talk with him.”

 

“Do you think he will stay?”

 

“I don’t know Gene, but I hope so.  He belongs here with this family.”

 

Nothing more was said and after a few minutes of silent contemplating Victoria rose from the chair. She patted Gene’s leg.

 

“Get some sleep sweetheart.  Things will look better in the morning.”

 

Jarrod and Nick had risen early and had already left the house before Gene ventured downstairs the next morning.

 

“Gene darling, I was just coming to wake you.  It seems Mrs Sterling is not feeling well and I am going over to help for the day.  Audra has just left for the orphanage and your brothers are also out.  Can you please stay with Heath today?  He still isn’t allowed out of bed yet.”

 

Gene looked aghast at his mother.

 

“Me? Can’t Silas do it?”

 

‘No Gene he can’t.  He has his own duties to attend to and besides it will give you both a chance to get to know one another.”

 

Without waiting for a response Victoria turned and left the house.  “I hope I’m doing the right thing leaving them alone,” she mused silently as she stepped into the buggy.

 

Gene wandered into the kitchen and watched silently as Silas prepared a breakfast tray for Heath.

 

“Mista Gene, I’s mighty glad to see you’s.  Would you mind taking this upstairs to Mista Heath for me?  I’ve put an extra plate on it for you.”

 

“Guess I don’t have a choice,” he muttered as he took the tray and headed up the back stairs.

 

Gene stopped outside Heath’s door and taking a deep breath, knocked and then entered the dimly lit room.  His brother was still sleeping in much the same position that he had left him the evening before.  Placing the tray on the table beside the bed he moved around to the window to open the curtains and turn down the lamp.  Returning to the side of the bed Gene was surprised to find a pair of cool blue eyes watching him.

 

 

 

Part 8

Acceptance - Part 2

 

“Ah morning, Silas asked me to bring up the tray for you.”

 

“Thanks, ya don’t have to stay.  I can manage on my own.”

 

Heath gingerly started to roll onto his back.  He was pleased to discover that the pain in his lower back seemed to have lessened although his ribs still hurt like hell.  He couldn’t stifle the low groan however when he tried to pull himself up into a sitting position.

 

Gene watched his new brother struggle to make himself comfortable, then sighed.

 

“Here let me help you.”

 

“Don’t need no help.”

 

“Yeah, well it doesn’t look that way.”

 

Without waiting for a reply Gene helped ease his brother up and back onto the pillows.  When Heath was settled comfortably he placed the tray across his brother’s knees then took his own plate and sat down in the chair.

 

Heath eyed his youngest sibling speculatively.

 

“You stayin?”

 

“Yeah might as well.  Save making another trip up the stairs to get the tray.  Don’t mind do ya?”

 

“Guess not.”

 

Heath hadn’t realized how hungry he was.  Beside last nights supper he hadn’t really eaten for a couple of days.  It didn’t take him long to empty his plate and drain the mug of coffee.  Sated he lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes, but opened them again when he felt Gene remove the tray from across his legs and place it back on the table.

 

“Thanks”

 

“Need anything else.”

 

Heath thought for a minute. He really would like to take a walk down the hall, but wasn’t sure how this brother would react to his request.

 

“Ah, I could use some help to…” he couldn’t finish the words and let the thought die.

 

When Heath didn’t finish Gene raised an eyebrow before understanding dawned on him.

 

“Oh! Come on then!”

 

Gene moved the chair out of the way then helped the blond ease his legs over the side of the bed.  Heath gasped at the sudden stab of pain in his back and closed his eyes for a few moments.  Gene waited silently until Heath was ready to continue then he put the blonds left arm over his shoulder and helped lift him to his feet.  Even with his brother’s support Heath swayed slightly and sucked in a shallow breath at the pain the upright position caused him.

 

“You Ok?”

 

“Yeah.  All this lyin around though sure makes a man soft.”

 

Gene didn’t reply as they shuffled down the hallway to the bathroom and back again.  With Heath settled back in bed Gene picked up the tray.

 

“Best take this back to Silas.  Get some sleep.”

 

“Where is everybody?”

 

Gene sighed he didn’t really want to talk to this brother of his.

 

“Mothers’ gone to the Sterling’s, Audra’s at the orphanage and I guess Nick and Jarrod are out on the range or in town,” he replied tersely.

 

Heath narrowed his eyes.  He hadn’t missed the sharpness of the reply.

 

“Ya don’t like me much do you Eugene?”

 

“I don’t know you.”

 

“And you still don’t like me, why?”

 

“Why?” Gene exploded.  “You ride onto this ranch claiming to be my father’s son and …”

 

“I never made any claims.  Your mother knew who I was, or at least thought she did and had me investigated remember?”

 

“Fine, you never made any claims but you still came knowing what’d happen>”

 

“That’s where you’re wrong Eugene, I didn’t expect anybody to recognize me.  Least of all your mother.  I only wanted to see what my family was like, how you lived while mama and I struggled to survive and then I was leaving.”

 

“Are you still leaving?” Gene asked hopefully, “then things can go back to the way they were.”

 

Heath studied his younger brother.

 

“Maybe, maybe not.  Might be interesting to stay here for a while.  Be part of this family, claim what’s rightfully mine.  Maybe work with Nick as partners.”

 

“Partners with Nick, you’ve gotta be joking.  Nick doesn’t need any help running this ranch and if he does he can always ask me.”

 

“Oh I don’t know, Nick and I worked pretty well as a team the other week.  Even HE said so.”

 

“Yeah well that was before he knew who you were.”

 

“Just because I’m his brother instead of one of the hands doesn’t mean I’m goin ta work any different.”

 

“You’re not our real brother, we might have the same father but that’s all.  This is our ranch not yours and you can’t come here expecting your fair share.  You don’t belong here, spoilin everything for the rest of us,”

 

“The rest of us or you?”

 

Heath watched Gene closely.  When he didn’t reply Heath sighed.

 

“Gene I didn’t come here to take anything from anybody or replace anybody.  I came to find my family.  To meet and get to know my brothers and sister.  Aside from my mama and her two best friends I ain’t never had a family before.  Thought I’d find out what it was like is all.  Didn’t mean to cause any problems for anyone or hurt anyone.”

 

“Well you did,” Gene retorted.  “We all had special memories of father and the man he was. You’ve ruined all of that for us.  I can’t remember all the good times I had with him.  Now all I feel is hurt and anger for what he did to us.  I wish you’d never come.”

 

Gene rushed from the room almost knocking Silas over in the process.  Silas entered shaking his head and looked at Heath.

 

“He be a good boy Mista Heath.  He was only young when his daddy died.  His memories are all childhood ones.  He come around don’t you worry none about that.”

 

“At least he’s got memories.  Maybe he’s right.  I don’t belong here.”

 

“Now don’t you be talking like that Mista Heath. I knows the rest of the family is mighty glad to have you here.”

 

“Even Mrs Barkley?”

 

“Oh yes Mista Heath, especially Miz Barkley.”

 

“Just don’t figure.”

 

“Don’t you worry none!  Things will work out.  Now why don’t you rest?  Doctor Merar be coming this afternoon.  Maybe he let you out of bed then and you feel better.”

 

Heath let his body sink into the pillows and closed his eyes.  Silas picked up the tray and looked down at the newest family member.

 

“You’s belong here Mista Heath, you’s surely do.  As sure as night follows day.”

 

Heath didn’t acknowledge Silas statement, choosing instead to allow his mind drift into a fitful sleep.  He kept hearing Eugene’s words over and over again.

 

“You don’t belong here; I wish you’d never come.”

 

 

   * * * * * * * *

 

 

Heath woke with a start, his body drenched with sweat.  He’d been a fool to think that he could ever fit in here, be a part of this family with all their memories.  He’d always be on the outside looking in and he didn’t want that.  No, better to leave now before things went any further.  Still working with Nick as his partner had a nice feel to it.  Wake up to yourself Heath, they haven’t offered ya anything yet so don’t be looking for pots of gold where there ain’t any. Heath pulled his battered body to the side of the bed, biting back a groan.  Now to find me some clothes and be outta here.

 

Nick threw open the front door just as Eugene exited from the study book in hand eyes blurry from sleep.  The two brothers starred at one another for a long minute before Nick broke the silence.

 

“Hi Gene, missed ya at breakfast this morning.”

 

“Yeah, guess I was tired after the trip out here.”

 

“Well come on you can have lunch with me instead.  Where is everybody anyway?”

 

“Mothers at the Sterlings.  Mrs Sterling’s feeling poorly and sis is at the orphanage and I guess Jarrod’s in town.”

 

Nick eyed his youngest brother.

 

“Who’s looking after Heath then?”

 

Heath, Heath, how sick was he of hearing that name.  Why were they all so damn worried about him?  Keeping his thoughts to himself he replied as normally as possible.

 

“I took his breakfast up to him this morning, helped him to the bathroom and we talked for a while.  When Silas went to get the tray he said he was asleep.”

 

“What time was that, when did you check on him last?”

 

“I ain’t his keeper Nick, maybe two, three hours ago. I came down here to get a book.  Guess I fell asleep.”

 

Nick pushed past his brother giving him a withering look in passing and stomped towards the stairs.  Reaching Heath’s room he knocked quietly not wanting to startle him if he was asleep.  When he didn’t get an answer he eased the door open and stuck his head threw the opening.  He felt a knife twist deep into his gut at what he saw.  The room was empty.  The bed and pillows were in disarray, Heath’s sleeping pants lay on the floor and the drawer was open.

 

“Damn fool boy,” he growled.

 

Storming from the room he met his youngest brother coming up the stairs.  Grabbing him by the shoulder he threw him up against the wall.

 

“What did you say to him Eugene?” he thundered, eyes blazing.

 

“I, I…”

 

“Tell me now.”

 

“I said he didn’t belong here.  Told him I wished he’d never come.” Gene avoided looking at Nick’s face he didn’t want to see those eyes that he knew were staring furiously at him.

 

“You said what?” Nick roared.  “You better pray I find that boy and nothins happened to him.  This isn’t over yet Eugene.”

 

Nick took a step back and released his hold on his brother’s shoulders letting him sag weakly to the steps.  Without looking back he charged down the remaining stairs and across the foyer, flinging open the front door.

 

“Dammit Heath, where the hell are you?”

 

Grabbing Coco’s reins he threw himself into the saddle and headed for the barn.

 

 

 

Part 9

Acceptance - Part 3

 

Heath was beginning to think this was a bad idea.

 

It had taken him almost fifteen minutes to struggle into his clothes and boots.  By the time he was dressed he was sweating profusely and having a hard time catching his breath.  After sitting on the bed to wait for the pain to subside and his breathing to regulate the next step was going to be getting out of the room and then the house.  Hauling himself up by the bed end he stood swaying until his head cleared.

 

Taking slow shuffling steps he managed to make it to the door without falling.  Opening the door a crack he peered out.  He could hear Silas in the kitchen and there was no sign of his brother.  Using the wall for support he eased himself to the head of the grand stair- case.

 

Getting down the stairs wasn’t going to be easy he thought.  Deciding that the banister was a safer prospect than the wall he shuffled over to it.  Using both hands to grip it he started down, one painful step after the other.  Halfway down he had to stop.  The death like grip he had on the railing was making his hands cramp.  He was desperately trying to drag enough air into his lungs to ward off the threatening darkness.

 

Realizing he couldn’t stay where he was much longer he took hold of the railing again and continued his slow progress finally reaching the bottom.  Suppressing the urge to sit down, he dew in several shallow breaths, checked for any sign of Silas or Eugene then made a beeline for the front door staggering across the foyer.  Damn this house is big he thought.  He sighed audibly when he made it to and through the heavy door without been detected.

 

Taking a few minutes to rest, safe in the knowledge that all the hands were out on the range he thought about how to get to the barn and his faithful little Modoc Gal.  Deciding to keep as close to the house as possible he moved in the direction of the barn until he came to the open space that separated them.  Taking as deep a breath as possible he pushed off from the wall and lurched across to the hitching rails and then to the water pump and finally came to a staggering halt against the barn wall.  Breathing heavily and holding his aching side he sidled along the wall to the open front door.  Looking in and not finding any sign of Ciego he stumbled towards his Modoc’s stall.  Gal came and nuzzled his hands as he clung to the stall wall willing the encroaching blackness to stay at bay.

 

“Hey Gal,” he whispered, “what’s say we get outta here?”  Gal blew softly into his hands in reply.

 

Spying his saddle resting on the rack he moved over to it.  Knowing he couldn’t lift it off he grabbed the horn and dragged it from its resting place letting it drop to the floor.  The movement sending daggers through his side and back.  Gasping in pain he grabbed the horn once more and dragged it towards the stall.  “How the hell am I gonna get this on ya Gal,” he wondered.  He sank down beside his saddle and closed his eyes for a few minutes rest.

 

“Mista Eugene what ever’s the matter.   Are you all right?” asked a worried Silas as he hurried to the youngest Barkley’s side.

 

Eugene turned a tear-streaked face to the kindly houseman.

 

“Oh Silas, I, I’ve done a terrible thing. Said some things that I shouldn’t have and now Heath is missing.  Nick’s gone looking for him.  How am I ever going to face Mother?”

 

Silas patted the boy’s shoulder in sympathy.  I’m sure Mista Nick will find him.  He’s not well enough to have got too far.  As for your mother Mista Eugene you’ll know what to do. Now you’s go upstairs and get cleaned up.”

 

Gene offered a weak smile. “Thank you Silas.”

 

Nick headed straight for the barn to make sure the boy’s Modoc was still in her stall.  Dismounting from Coco and leaving the reins trailing he strode through the doors only to come to a grinding halt at the sight that greeted him.  Sending a silent prayer of thanks above, he strode over to his brother, coming to a halt in front of him with his hands on his hips.

 

“Would you mind telling me just what the hell you think you’re doing boy?’  Nick roared.

 

When Heath didn’t move or acknowledge that he had even heard his brother’s question, Nick grew worried and dropped to his knees beside the blond.  Putting out his hand he shook him gently on the shoulder.

 

“Heath, come on Heath, wake up.”

 

Nick shook his brother harder this time and was finally rewarded when a pair of pain filled blue eyes turned towards him.

 

“Nick?”

 

Nick smiled back.

 

“Yeah Heath, now would you mind telling me just where you thought you were going?”

 

Heath rested his head back against the stall wall; eyes closed and remained quiet for a few minutes.  Nick picked up the discarded saddle and placed it back on the rack then sat down by his brother.

 

“Don’t know where I was going.  Just figured it was time to be leaving.”

 

“Why?  Because of what Eugene said?”  There was no mistaking the anger in Nick’s voice.

 

Heath turned his head and studied the man, his brother, beside him.

 

“He told ya, willingly?”

 

“He had a little help from me.”

 

Heath sighed and shook his head.  “Now ya know why I’m leaving.”

 

This time it was Nick’s turn to study the man beside him.  Heath’s eyes were still closed and his mouth was set in a grim line as though he was fighting back pain, which he probably was.  He looked at the bruises on the pale face.  Bruises that he had put there, heard the harsh breathing and noted the stiff way his brother was sitting against the stall wall.

 

“Come on Heath, I’ve gotta get ya back to the house. Mother will have both our hides if she finds you out here.  Will any way when she hears what happened.”

 

“Not yet Nick, need to rest for a while longer.”

 

“Ok little brother, but not too longer.  So are ya goin to tell me what you’re thinking?”

 

Heath sighed, he really was too tired for this conversation but he didn’t think his brother was goin ta quit until he got some answers.

 

‘You’re as tenacious as a dog worrying a bone ain’t ya Nick?”  Not waiting for a reply he continued in a soft voice.

 

“I didn’t come here to cause trouble, just wanted to see what my family was like.  I never meant for any of you to find out who I was.  How did your Mother know who I was anyway?”

 

Nick gave a small start at the words.  “Didn’t Mother speak to ya this morning and show ya the pictures?”

 

Heath shook his head.

 

“Heath you’re a dead ringer for our Uncle Jim.  She has a picture of him at your age.  I swear it was like looking at you.  She also showed us a picture of father at the same age.  You’re a lot like him too.  She said she was going to show then to you today and talk to ya.”

 

Heath was silent again.  Now it was all starting to make sense.

 

“Boy, trying to get you to talk is like drawing blood from a stone.”

 

Nick felt Heath stiffen beside him then the heard him ground out, “I told ya not to call me boy,” then in a voice barely above a whisper he continued, “they used to call me that, boy, I learnt to hate that word.  They’d make it sound as though they were calling for a dog.  I ain’t nobody’s boy and I sure as hell ain’t nobody’s dog.”

 

“Who did Heath?” Nick asked gently.  It was the first time he’d actually heard his brother string more than a few words together and he wanted to learn as much as possible about his man while he could.

 

“My uncle, the Carterson Guards.  Ya know my uncle,” he spat the word out, “never once called me by my name.  In twenty-four years I never heard him use my name once.  I was always bastard or boy and he was supposed to be family.  The guards were plain ignorant.  They called a lot of us ‘boy’ like we were trash and they were superior but they always said it different to me.”

 

Nick could feel his heart breaking at his little brothers words.  He silently cursed his father for allowing a son of his to live the life that this blond haired brother had.

 

“Heath, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.  I can’t do much about the guards, but you’re with family now and I promise I won’t let anybody else hurt you that way again.  I don’t care who it is.”

 

“Even another brother Nick? I know you’ve been fighting with Eugene over me.  That’s why I’m leaving.  I didn’t come here to break up this family.  For whatever reasons Eugene doesn’t want me here, and for me to stay its gotta be all or nothing.”

 

The silence was deafening as Nick grappled with the words his brother had just said as tears threatened to spill down his face.  Getting a hold of his shaky emotions and hoping his voice wouldn’t betray him he continued softly.

 

“Heath you don’t really want to give up this chance at being part of a family do ya? A family that cares about ya needs ya as much as ya need us.  Eugene will come around don’t you worry about that.”

 

Heath sighed.

 

“See, ya doing it again.  What if Eugene doesn’t come around? Are you going to beat him up as well?  Nick he’s your brother and I won’t have you fighting with your brother over the likes of me.”

 

Nick flinched at Heath’s words.  Hadn’t he almost taken his fist to his youngest brothers face back in the house not so long ago?

 

“You’re my brother too Heath, and I’m not letting you leave here without a fight, and what do you mean by ‘the likes of me?”  You’re not responsible for being born Heath, nobody is and nobody in this family holds your parentage against you. Hell it coulda been me, or Jarrod or Eugene that was born in Strawberry.  We’re only responsible for how we live the life we’ve been given.  It’s only ignorant people that judge a person by their parentage.”

 

“I don’t want you to leave either Heath,” begged Eugene stepping through the barn door, tears running down his face.

 

Both brothers jumped at Gene’s words unaware that he was standing there.  Nick heard Heath moan and then sag against him a little more.  He quickly looked at his brother.

 

“Heath, you ok?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“How long you being standing there for Gene?” Nick growled

 

“Long enough.”  Turning to Heath, Gene continued. “I’m sorry Heath for treating you the way I did.  I had no right to say what I did either.  Will you please stay with us, be part of this family?  I want to have the chance to get to know you too.”

 

Heath studied his younger brother from under half closed lids.  The remorse on his little brother’s face was plain to see. He could guess at the courage it had taken Eugene to say those words.  He let a small smile play across his face.

 

“Maybe,” he replied weakly.

 

Nick could feel Heath slipping beside him.  Slapping him hard on the leg, he growled, “Come on its time we got you back the house.”

 

“Can’t.  Don’t think I can make it.”

 

“Yes ya can, I’ll help ya.”

 

Nick stood up and stretched then bent down and placed Heath’s left arm over his shoulder ready to lift him to his feet.

 

“I’ll help to,” announced Gene quietly as he squatted down on Heath’s other side.

 

Nick and Gene exchanged smiles and then lifted their brother to his feet.  Heath sucked in a breath and groaned as his body regained its upright position again. He couldn’t stop from sagging against his brother’s shoulders as they made a slow exit from the barn.

 

“Nick you planning on making a quick getaway or do you always leave old Coco standing outside the barn,” enquired the grinning blond.

 

Nick stopped.  Damn he’d forgotten about Coco.  Where the hell was Ciego anyway?  He hadn’t seen him since he entered the barn.

 

“Ciego,” he roared.  When the wrangler didn’t make an appearance he continued “first we’ll get you to the house and then I’ll come back and see to Coco.”

 

Both Nick and Eugene noticed that the further they went the more of Heath’s weight they were supporting.  Half way to the front door they heard the ominous sound of a horse and buggy approaching.

 

“Now we’re in for it,” muttered Nick under his breath.

 

“Nicholas would you please tell me the meaning of this.  Why is Heath dressed and out of the house?” demanded Victoria drawing rein beside the trio.

 

Nick looked at his two brothers.  Figures he’d be the one to get into trouble from Mother.  Just as he was about to explain he felt Heath’s full weight fall against him as he finally lost the battle to stay conscious.

 

 

 

Part 10

Acceptance - Part 4

 

Victoria sat straight backed on the settee in the parlour, watching her two sons.

 

Howard Merar had arrived shortly after they had carried Heath back to his room.  After a thorough examination he declared that besides being exhausted no further damage had been done and in fact if he wished Heath could start moving around the house the next day but there was to be definitely no outdoor activities.

 

“Will one of you please tell me what went on here today?  I want to know why Heath was dressed and out of the house.  Nicholas, Eugene?”

 

“It was my fault Mother,” began Gene in a quavering voice not looking at her.

 

“Now hold on.”

 

Gene raised his hand, “no Nick, we both know Heath tried to leave because of me.”

 

“Gene please come and sit here and tell me what happened.  Nicholas you are excused for the moment.”

 

“Yes Mother.”

 

Nick clapped his brother on the shoulder in passing.  “I’ll be upstairs with Heath if you need me.”

 

“Gene I don’t understand. Last night I thought you had come to terms with the situation and had accepted Heath.”

 

“I did, well sort of, I guess I was still hurt and angry, at father more than Heath.  Then this morning we were talking and Heath asked me why I didn’t like him. I said some things about father and memories and then I told him I didn’t want him here.”  He looked directly at his Mother.  “I told him I wished he’d never come.”

 

“Oh Gene.”

 

“I’m sorry Mother, please believe me.  I’ve already told Heath how sorry I am for what I said and I asked him to stay.  I told him I wanted to get to know him better.”

 

Victoria looked at her son’s face and her heart went out to him.  She pulled him into an embrace and let him cry on her shoulder until his sobs subsided.

 

“Eugene, I am not happy about what you did but I am proud that you were able to look past it and apologize to your brother.  Hopefully it will give Heath something to think about and make his decision on whether to stay or not easier. I just hope you now realize how dangerous angry words can be.  Your brother could have been seriously injured today trying to get down the stairs or if he had actually managed to get on his horse.

 

“I know and I’m sorry.”

 

“Yes dear I know you are.  Now why don’t you go upstairs and see if your brother is awake and would like something to eat."

 

Victoria sat on the settee and watched Eugene head for the stairs.  Please Tom give us all the strength we need to get through this, to make this family complete again.

 

Nick knocked quietly on Heath’s door and then entered.

 

“Do ya always enter before ya asked?” came a sleepy voice from the bed.

 

“Only when I can’t hear the reply.”

 

“Remind me to lock my door when I’m entertaining.” Now there was a twinkle in the eyes.

 

Nick strode across the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

 

“Take a seat why don’t ya.”

 

“Don’t mind if I do.  How your feeling Heath?  Doc says you can get up tomorrow and move around the house.”

 

“Think I did enough of that today.” Heath looked enquiringly at his brother. “Thought you’d still be down stairs trying to explain this afternoons adventure to you mother.”

 

“Eugene is.  Ya know Heath, he really is sorry for what he said and he does want to get to know you better.”

 

“Yeah I know.”

 

Nick started pacing around the room then blurted out, “dammit Heath, I’m not long on patience, are ya going to give family life a go or not?”

 

Heath’s eyes widened in surprise at the abruptness of the question.

 

“Boy Nick, I’ll say you’re not long on patience.”

 

Heath closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking at Nick.

 

“I just don’t know I’m still so confused about everything.  I don’t rightly know how I feel.”

 

Heath watched Nick’s face for any hint of anger or disappointment at his words.  Nick clenched and unclenched his jaw several times and his eyes seemed to be focused on some distant object.  Finally he turned to face Heath.

 

“Sorry Heath, that wasn’t fair of me.  It’s just that I want you to stay, be a part of all this,” he waved his arms around the room trying to encompass all that ‘this’ meant. “Promise me you’ll think about it little brother.”

 

“I’ll think about it Nick, but that’s all I’m promising at the moment.”

 

Before Nick could reply there was a knock at the door and Gene poked his head around the corner.  Heath rolled his eyes.

 

“Another one.  Don’t none of you know how to wait until ya invited in,” he asked, blue-eyes twinkling.

 

At Gene’s downcast look Heath quickly added, “come on in Gene, I was only joshing… this time,” he added glaring at Nick.

 

“How you feeling Heath?  Mother wanted to know if you were hungry.”

 

“I’m fine, just tired, don’t think I’ll try doing that again for a while though.  Guess I’m hungry too.”

 

“Ok I’ll go ask Silas to bring up a tray for you.  Nick you eating up here as well?”

 

“Yeah, reckon I might.”

 

Gene nodded and turned back to the door but stopped again when Heath spoke.

 

“Gene why don’t ya bring your own plate up here as well.”

 

Nick and Heath watched as a huge smile spread across their little brother’s face.

 

“Thanks Heath, I’d like that,” then he rushed from the room.

 

Heath closed his eyes and sank back into the pillows as Nick sat on the bed watching him.

 

“Heath you sure about this, we can eat down stairs if you’re too tired.”

 

“No I’m fine.  If I fall asleep you can clean up the mess,” he added with a sly grin.

 

“Why is it I always have to clean up the mess?” Nick grumbled.

 

“Cause that’s what big brothers do, or so they tell me.”

 

Heath watched from under hooded lids as a grin spread across his brother’s face and his chest puffed out at the words.  I could get use to this he thought.

 

Victoria stood outside Heath’s door and smiled at the laughter coming from with in.  The sounds were a welcome relief from the intensity of the last few days.  Clutching the two pictures in one hand she knocked softly on the door with the other and entered the room.  This time Heath didn’t make any comment about waiting to be invited in.  All three brothers watched the tiny silver haired woman who commanded so much respect and loyalty cross the room.

 

“Sorry boys for interrupting, but I really do need to speak to your brother.”

 

Both Nick and Gene rose to their feet and cast a glance at their new brother and then their mother.  Nick slapped Heath on the leg.

 

“See ya in the morning Heath.”

 

“Yeah see ya.”

 

As Nick passed his mother he kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear, “He’s tired.”

 

Victoria patted his arm, marveling at how protective he now was of his blond brother. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep him up all night.”

 

Gene kissed his mother, “night Mother, night Heath,” as he headed for the door.

 

“Night… little brother.”

 

Gene stopped as if he’d run into a wall and turned back to the bed and looked at his grinning brother.  He didn’t say anything, just smiled happily and left the room.

 

Victoria watched the interaction between her sons all of them and sighed with relief.

 

“Thank you Heath, I don’t think you realize how much those words meant to Gene.”

 

“I think I do ma’am.”

 

Heath watched as Victoria sat in the chair that Gene had so recently vacated. He waited quietly for her to gather her thoughts.  Finally she looked at him but he could read nothing from her eyes.

 

“Heath, I’m sorry for everything that has happened.”

 

“There’s no need to apologize ma’am, I guess I’m just as much to blame coming here the way I did.”

 

“No Heath, darling you aren’t to blame I should have handled things a lot differently than I did.  Seeing you by the corrals that day was such a shock.  I knew about the affair between your mother and my husband but I, we never imagined that a child had being born from that affair.  That we never went back to Strawberry to find out has upset me greatly these past few weeks.  No please let me finish.”

 

Heath closed his mouth as requested and lay back against the pillows listening to what this woman, his stepmother had to say.

 

“Your father was not a cruel man Heath, he was a very loving and caring man, much like you are.  I cannot believe that he knew about you and deliberately left you in that mining town, you or your mother.  When you didn’t come forward to tell us who you were I thought you didn’t know and I wanted to be certain before I approached you or the rest of this family.  That is why I asked Jarrod to have you investigated.  Jarrod didn’t know my reason either at that time.  I’m sorry I invaded your privacy like that, I had no right to do it, although I suspect that if I hadn’t you would have left with out saying anything wouldn’t you?”

 

Heath avoided Victoria’s eyes and only mumbled “yes ma’am.”  He was getting uncomfortable and didn’t know where to look.

 

“Heath I realized yesterday that I didn’t need the report to prove who you were and if only I had thought of these when you first arrived none of this would have happened.”

 

Heath looked up as she handed him the two pictures.  He reached out a shaking hand and took them from her.  These were the pictures that Nick had spoken of.  He wasn’t sure whether he really wanted to look at them or not. If he denied them he could still leave but if he looked at them and saw what everybody else saw he knew he would be drawn into this family with no way of escape.  But did he really want to escape.  The thought of family had been steadily growing on him these last few days and it felt good, despite all the pain.  Taking a deep breath he allowed his eyes to drop down to the pictures, then he gasped in shock.

 

“That is a picture of your father and I when he was your age Heath, and the other is a picture of your Uncle Jim.”

 

Heath was dumbfounded; he didn’t know what to say.  What was there to say when you were staring at your own face from thirty years ago?  Tears started to well in his eyes and he had to blink several times in an effort to clear them.  Victoria waited quietly for the evidence before him to register.

 

“Heath, you are a Barkley, you are Tom’s son, my son and a brother to Jarrod, Nick, Gene and Audra. You belong here on this ranch with your family.”

 

“Your son?” he asked haltingly, “you called me your son, why?”

 

“Oh darling, your father and I shared everything, what was his was and is mine.  You are my husbands son, that makes you my son also and I would truly love to get to know you just as believe your father would have wanted to had he lived to meet you. Just as your brother’s and sister want to get to know you”

 

Heath couldn’t help it he was too tired to control his emotions any longer and he allowed the tears to flow freely down his face.  He could hear her words ringing in his ears.  Son, brother, family, a Barkley.  Victoria moved to his bed and sat down on the edge drawing his head onto her shoulder allowing him to cry out all his fears, anger and pain.

 

“I, I don’t know what to say,” he sobbed quietly, taking comfort in her calm embrace.  He hadn’t felt like this since his mother died and he now realized how much he missed his mother’s embrace as well.

 

“You don’t have to say anything Heath, no body is going to pressure you into making a decision.  You have a lot to think about and we all realize that.  But please remember that what ever your decision is we will stand behind you and there will always be a place here for you.”

 

Heath nodded his head too exhausted to say anything and lay back on the pillows.  Victoria sat beside him holding his hand until he fell asleep, then she pulled the covers over him and kissed him gently on his forehead.

 

“Sleep well son,” she whispered before turning down the lamp and leaving the room

 

 

 

Continued…