Come Back to Me

Chapter 13-20

by Christy

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 13

Audra Barkley let her mother hug her close for a few minutes. The two women comforted each other. Victoria had been crying when Audra called out to her mother. Audra was more frightened than ever. Her mother was trembling in her arms. Her mother was one of the bravest women she knew. For her to be so upset, it could only be one of the boys. She pulled away to ask again that nagging horrified question.

“Mother, what’s wrong?”

“What makes you think there’s anything wrong?” Victoria tried, possibly hoping to delay the bad news until she had made her decision. Audra was not buying her ignorance.

“Mother, you’re shaking. I heard you crying. Please don’t patronize me. Is it the boys?” Victoria looked down at the note in her hand. She choked back the tears that were threatening to come. This was not the time to break down.

“Yes, it’s the boys,” she conceded.

“Heath?”

“They found Heath. He’s alive, Audra. Your brother is alive.” Audra’s delighted smile evaporated before her mother could truly appreciate it as the older woman took her hand away from Audra and sat very quietly on the bed. Victoria was breathing a little heavier and faster than normal. Audra picked up on it, although even she didn’t know exactly how. She groped for Victoria’s hand, taking it in hers and squeezing it gently.

“What is it then, Mother? You’re scaring me. Were Nick or Jarrod hurt? Mother, Please.”

“I’m sorry, Audra. I just don’t know what to do,” Victoria burst out. She put the letter down on the bed, and put her hand on top of Audra’s, so that both her hands were holding her daughter’s.

“Mother, let me help.” Victoria Barkley was not used to not being in control of any situation. But this, this was beyond her. Her entire being ached to be with her son, to be with Heath. If she could get to him, she knew he would safe. The mother in her wasn’t about to let her son go, not now when they had known him such a short time. And what if, God forbid, they did lose him? How would she ever forgive herself for not being at his side when he needed her most? Yet, how could she leave Audra who was barely out of the woods herself. The entire decision was driving her crazy.

“Mother?” the girl asked again. Victoria took a deep breath.

“Heath was injured, apparently. Nick says he’s critical.”

“Oh no. Heath!” Despite Audra’s blindness, Victoria was gratified to see her daughter’s anxiety and emotions written across her face. She could see Audra picturing Heath in her mind. Her youngest son and daughter were so close.

“Audra, what happened out there? Do you remember?” Victoria asked. “We know so little.”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” Audra returned with obvious distress. “We have to help Heath. We don’t have time to talk about it. Where is he? Is he at Dr. Merar’s? Why isn’t he here?” Victoria didn’t press the subject on Audra. She took one hand and touched Audra’s soft cheek, then brushed her silvery blond hair, the same hair color she had had as a girl.

“Heath is in Hawthorne with Nick and Jarrod. Nick assures me he’s getting good medical care.”

“Hawthorne? But that’s a half a day’s ride from here. Oh, Mother!” Audra sighed. “We must go at once.” Victoria stared at the younger woman in shock. She shook her head a little, wondering if she was hearing things.

“Audra Barkley, you are staying in this bed. There is no way you are going to Hawthorne.”

“But Heath needs us. He needs me.”

“Audra, no. I can’t risk losing you. When we first found you, we thought…thought we had lost you. I can’t risk your life just because you want to help your brother.”

“Don’t you see, that Heath needs me as much as he needs you, Mother?” Victoria was confused.

“What do you mean, Sweetheart?” She asked rubbing her daughter’s night gowned back. Audra wasn’t getting more upset, but there were tears falling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes for moment, then opened them again.

“Heath tried to defend me. When he came at the man who was holding me, he pushed me away. I must have hit my head really hard. Mother, I can’t explain this, but I saw Heath. I saw him holding me. He was devastated. I think…I think he believes I was killed.” Audra felt her mother’s grip on her hand tighten. The strangled voice was filled with maternal horror.

“Audra, you’re certain?”

“I’m certain. If I know Heath, he’ll blame himself somehow. I have to go to him. I have to tell him I’m all right. He won’t believe it unless he sees me. Mother, you know I’m right.” Victoria burst into tears. She pulled Audra into a hug.

“I can’t sacrifice you for your brother,” she tried one more time. “Dr. Marlowe has forbidden you to leave your bed. Audra, you almost died. Any harsh movement and you could reinjure where they did the surgery.” Victoria knew she wasn’t reaching her daughter. Audra was more pigheaded than a mule.

“Mother, this is right. I feel it. I feel as if I don’t go, then I’ll be stuck here, in the dark, lost and alone forever.”

“You aren’t alone,” Victoria cried with a fierce determination.

“Maybe…” Audra conceded. “Put a mattress in the back of the buckboard. I promise I’ll be very still the entire way. We can take one of the men. I don’t think it will slow you down too much.”

“Dr. Marlowe will have a fit,” Victoria considered. “Good Lord. Why am I even considering this. Audra, you could die out there! Dr. Marlowe was quite emphatic.” Audra Barkley’s knowing smile bled into Victoria’s heart. She knew she couldn’t refuse. When Audra was finished, her mind was made up.

“You’re considering this because you know I’m every bit as stubborn as Nick or Jarrod or Heath. If you go, and you don’t let me come, I’ll find a way to follow you, even if you lock me in here. I will get to Heath, Mother. I have to. He’s my brother.” Now Victoria cupped her daughter’s face with her hands, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. Gray eyes gazed into sightless blue ones. Still Audra could feel her mother looking at her. It was eerie and beautiful at the same time.

“I don’t know whether to spank you or tell you how proud I am of you,” the mother said.

“I vote for the later, Mother. Remember Ruth and Naomi, in the bible? Whether thou goest I will go. So, Mother, please let’s not waste time. Let’s go!”

“I’m going to regret this,” Victoria muttered to herself.

“You better tell the boys you are coming, but I wouldn’t tell them I’m coming. They’ll be half way back here to stop us,” Audra warned, surprised at the fact she was telling her mother what to do. Victoria simply nodded, forgetting that Audra could not see her. She stood.

“All right I surrender,” she said. “But, we are going to do this my way. You do everything I say, young lady and let me handle Dr. Marlowe. We better hurry or we won’t get to Hawthorne till dark. Lay down while I go to make the arrangements. I mean it, Audra. If you move one inch from that bed, I am going to lock you in, and have the hands guard the door and the windows.” Audra smiled. Laughter was a little far from her mind in her condition.

“I promise, I’ll be right here. But hurry, Mother. I have to see Heath. I have to before…” She felt her mother kiss her again, and a comforting whisper.

“Heath is strong. He’s going to make it, Sweetheart. You hold on to that.” Audra nodded. Victoria hurried away to do what needed to be done. Audra laid back on the soft pillow. Her head ached dreadfully. She had put on a good act for her mother. Why seeing Heath was so important, she didn’t know. She only knew it was. She wasn’t going to be in any more danger in the wagon than she would be in this bed, even though the wagon would be rough. Somehow she had to be as brave as the boys were when they were injured, as brave as Heath was right now. She had to be strong for her mother. One way or another, she had to. She was a Barkley after all and this was one time when she was going to prove what she was made of or else. One time.

* * * * * * * *

To Nick Barkley the morning passed as slow as a tortoise walking across the road. Dr. Abbott disappeared into his surgery around 8:30. The minutes ticked by in an endless wait as fatigue added to the man’s fear. Nick shuddered every time he saw Heath’s battered body in his mind. He tensed wondering how Heath had survived such an onslaught. Most men would have broken under such vicious treatment. HE would have broken, Nick told himself. He couldn’t have tolerated it…or at least those were the thoughts he had. At first Nick wanted to shake Jarrod awake, hoping to have him keep him company. Then he envied his brother his sleep, such as it was. Even sitting in the chair, Jarrod was restless. His sleep probably wasn’t doing him that much good, Nick thought, but at least he was getting some rest.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Willa asked coming into the room with more coffee and some of Martha’s rolls, along with some cheese and turkey and butter. She put the tray down on a table by the waiting chairs. Nick barely heard her as he looked at the food. For a minute he considered eating. His stomach growling told him any food was not a good idea. He’d barely eaten since the ordeal started, but it wasn’t over yet. It was far from over.

“What?” he wondered, sounding a little confused. Willa brought him a cup of coffee and a plain roll with no butter. He took the black liquid, sipping on it gratefully. The heat felt good on his throat. Over the rim of the cup he looked up at Willa waving away the roll.

“Eat,” she ordered. “Your mother would want you to, I bet.”

“True, but if I eat, I’ll just get sick, so why bother.”

“You never know unless you try. It’s just a roll. Martha makes good rolls.”

“So I heard.” Nick took the bread and bit into it. To his surprise, it tasted good. He nodded his thanks to Willa. Martha had insisted the girl change into one of her daughter’s dresses that were in a trunk upstairs. The dress was a plain calico, but it was clean and in much better condition than the dress she had been wearing. After brushing her hair, and washing her face the young woman was much more presentable.

“So you didn’t answer my question.”

“What?” he asked again.

“You’re close with your brothers, aren’t you?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” Nick bellowed. “Of course we’re close. They’re my brothers.”

“I had a brother once,” Willa confided.

“So you said.”

“Not much of a talker are ya?” Nick stared at the woman.

He shook his head, not sure how to reply to that. If the woman only knew how much talking Nick could do when he wanted to. It was Heath who was the quiet one.

“Nick! Jarrod! Help!” Walter Abbott yelled. Nick and Willa raced to the surgery. Nick was so concerned for Heath, he didn’t notice that Jarrod didn’t follow. Bursting into the room, the man and woman saw Heath trying to get off the surgical table. His shirt was off and so were his pants. He was covered only by a sheet, and it had fallen to cover only his legs and waist. Nick swallowed hard at the sight his brother’s bruised chest. Walter and Martha were trying to get Heath to calm down, but they couldn’t get him to lay down.

“He’s delirious,” Dr. Abbott told him. “He woke while we were taking care of him.” Nick rolled his eyes. Poor Heath. Didn’t know where he was or what was going on. Nick knew he should have stayed with Heath in the first place. He yelled out to his brother.

“Heath! Heath, stop it. Dr. Abbott is just trying to help you! Boy, you hear me, settle down!” From somewhere Heath Barkley was able to recognize that voice. Nick had brushed everyone away and held Heath by the arms. Heath looked down at the big calloused hands that held him. In a fleeting gaze, the blue eyes locked onto the hazel ones. Heath grabbed Nick’s arms in return.

“Nick? You came. Thank God you came. They’re planning to kill me, Nick. Help me stop them, please. I want to stop them. They killed Audra. They deserve to die.” Nick was horrified at Heath’s words, but this was no time to argue with his brother no matter what he thought.

“Heath, you’re in the doctor’s office. He’s helping you. No one is hurting you. I promise I won’t let them.” Heath let his brother go as quickly as he’d grabbed him. The azure blue eyes took on a lost appearance that ripped out Nick’s heart. Heath cocked his head in confusion as he tried to figure out what was happening.

“Nick? Something wrong?” Nick gave his brother a reassuring smile. Heath’s bruised face was confused.

“Nah, nothings wrong, Heath. You just got yourself banged up a little.”

“Boy howdy, did I. Nick…don’t…don’t leave me.” Nick helped his brother lay down when the boy’s face turned white.

“Sick,” Heath moaned.

“Quick turn him over on his side,” Walter Abbott order. Nick barely had time to help Heath onto his side when he vomited a large amount of dark brown blood. It projected across the room. Nick cringed.

“Doc?”

“It’s old blood, Nick. Hopefully there’s no fresh bleeding inside. Why don’t you wait outside. He’s pretty weak now. We’ll be out shortly.”

“He doesn’t want me to leave him. Heath?” But Heath had lost consciousness again or so it seemed. The blond’s body was limp on the table.

“How is he, Doc?” Nick asked his anxiety written across his face.

“He’s got a high fever, several busted ribs, bruises and lacerations everywhere and probably a concussion. His wrists are open wounds and his right wrist is broken.” Dr. Abbott was rewarded with the rage he had seen in Nick before. Nick touched Heath’s shoulder, then gave Dr. Abbott a fierce look.

“I’m going to check on Jarrod. You take care of him, Doc, cause I’m not losing him, not now not ever.”

“I hear you, Nick,” Dr. Abbott told him. “But I can’t make any promises.” Nick lifted his finger towards the doctor a little menacingly.

“I can,” he intoned. Dr. Abbott went back to work with his wife assisting him. Willa and Nick went back out into the waiting room.

“He will pull through, Nick,” Willa tried. “He’s strong.”

“If he dies,” Nick answered. “This family will never be the same. It was less than a year ago he came to us, and now…now he’s a part of our hearts. Hell, he’s a part of me.” Nick wasn’t really talking to the girl. He was talking to himself. He walked woodenly back to the waiting room to give Jarrod an update on their brother’s condition. The image of Heath’s face as he screamed hysterically haunted Heath. He wondered if he had screamed like that while he was being tortured. Sitting down in a chair next to Jarrod, he sat back closing his eyes. Willa took the tray with the bread and now cold coffee back to the kitchen.

“Hey, Jarrod. Brother, you would sleep through an earthquake, I’ll tell ya.” Absently he shook Jarrod’s arm. “Jarrod, time to wake up!” Jarrod’s very silence alerted Nick to the fact that something was very wrong. He jumped up and knelt in front of Jarrod. Scanning the lawyer’s face, he whipped off the blanket that covered his brother. There were no visible wounds, nothing he could see that explained the non-responsiveness, not until Nick saw the pallor of his brother’s face.

“Jarrod! Jarrod, wake up. For the love of God, Jarrod, wake up!” He shook his brother for all he was worth. Jarrod slid out of the chair, his body slithering to the floor as Nick tried to catch him. On the floor, Nick Barkley tried to rouse his brother, tried whatever he could until he realized it was pointless. Willa came running to find Nick cradling his brother’s head in his lap, finally seeing the problem as his hand came away from the bullet wound in the head bright with new blood. Nick looked up at Willa as she knelt beside him. Willa gave him a sympathetic look.

“Pappy,” Nick gasped. “I can’t wake him.” The stricken cowboy shook the lawyer again. “Pappy! Pappy! Talk to me, Pappy! Don’t do this. Don’t leave us. Not now. Please, Pappy. I can’t do this without you! Pappy!” Willa ran to get Dr. Abbott. Leaning his head over his brother’s body, Nicholas Jonathon Barkley cried his heart out for Heath and for Jarrod and for his family. All the dark haired cowboy could do was beg Pappy to come back. He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his fist.

“You can’t have him,” Nick bellowed, his hair wild, his hazel eyes ranting and screaming in grief as the family he loved seemed to be shattering into a thousand pieces in front of him. “I won’t let you. I won’t let you have my brothers and sister. They’re mine. You can’t have them!! Damn you!! You can’t have them!”

Chapter 14

Nick Barkley sat on the floor holding his brother close to him, praying for a miracle. He had found Jarrod completely unconscious for no apparent reason. His shaking his hand at the heavens above hadn’t given him much comfort. Victoria Barkley’s son could feel his heart breaking at this final injustice. First Audra, then Heath and now Jarrod. Well, God wasn’t going to get away with taking any of his brothers or sister, not if he had anything to say about it. To the half crazed man’s relief, Dr. Walter Abbott came running from his surgery where he had been tending Heath. Willa was right behind him. Nick spoke before the doctor could even get to the brothers.

“Doc, he just wouldn’t wake up. He’s been sleeping ever since this morning. I couldn’t wake him. What’s wrong with him?”

“Nick, I don’t know what’s wrong,” Dr. Abbott replied maintaining his calm. “Help me get Jarrod up here on the couch. I need to look him over.” Nick didn’t need to be told twice. Willa grabbed the blanket Jarrod had been using and followed the men to the nearby couch. Jarrod Barkley, lawyer, and brother was gently placed on the couch. It was more of a settee, made for two people. The lawyer’s long legs dangled to the ground, his head leaning against the side of the settee.

“Put that blanket over him, Willa. Want to keep him warm.”

“Nick, get away from him for now. I need to check him out,” Dr. Abbott warned. Nick stepped back near Willa. All the younger brother had eyes for was Jarrod’s white face. Jarrod’s life the way Nick knew it was flashing before his eyes, the little boys they had been together, one minute fussing at each other with fists and angry words, the next playing in the barn or fishing with their father. Suddenly they were men, burying the father they loved, and taking over the lives he meant for them to have, Nick running the ranch and Jarrod running his law practice while still acting as a father figure for his brother and sister. He could see Pappy hugging his mother on that dreadful day they put their father in the ground, comforting her and promising her he would take care of her. Pappy, laughing, counseling, working, and just being the good honest man he was. Pappy was everything to Nick Barkley, just as Heath, Audra and his mother were. He couldn’t lose him. He couldn’t.

“Nick? Nick!” Dr. Abbott called through the haze of the young man’s overwhelmed mind. Nick came to attention, berating the poor man with questions.

“Doc? What’s wrong with my brother. Why did he lose consciousness? Why won’t he wake up? What are you going to do for him?” Dr. Abbott sighed before he spoke.

“I’m guessing it’s his head wound. I told him he was a fool to go out there.” Nick gave a snort of frustration, and the frustration wasn’t directed towards Jarrod’s foolishness.

“If it wasn’t for Jarrod, Doc, this whole thing could have ended up different. It was his bullet killed Joshua, and probably saved me at the same time. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. That’s over and done with. What do we do for him?”

“Help me take him into my infirmary in the back. That’s where we’ll take Heath too when I’m finished taking care of him. We’ll have to tend both of them back there.”

“But what’s wrong?” Nick demanded. “Surely you have an answer!” The volcano that was Nick Barkley was threatening to erupt and small wonder, but now wasn’t the time, and Nick knew it. He fought to control his temper, but he was so angry, and the problem was he didn’t know who to vent his anger at. Dr. Abbott threw him a sympathetic look and tried to calm the cowboy down.

“Nick, I just told you what I thought. Don’t you listen, young man? I know this is hard on you with everything going on, but your brothers both need you. Don’t waste time asking stupid questions.” Nick was about to yell back, but decided that too was unwise. He lifted Jarrod off the settee with Dr. Abbott’s assistance. Willa came after them with the blanket. Carefully they dragged the injured man down the hall to the door that led to the infirmary. Inside, Nick saw four beds. Willa quickly went to the bed closest to the window and pulled down the blankets and sheet. Gently, Jarrod Barkley was placed on the bed. Nick could have cried to see his brother lying so helpless. He took off Jarrod’s boots and put them on the floor.

“Should we get him undressed?” he asked Dr. Abbott.

“No, let’s leave him be. Nick, it may be he’s just exhausted. I don’t know what’s going inside that head of his. His pulse is good and strong, and his pupils look equal, so there’s no damage I can see. Why don’t you sit with him, and I’ll go finish working on Heath. I have to finish wrapping his ribs. I got the bullet out of his side and we got his cuts and lacerations cleaned out, although there’s still plenty of dirt in them.”

“Won’t they get infected?”

“Maybe, but there’s too many of them and they’re too deep to get clean.”

“Damn,” Nick swore. Dr. Abbott couldn’t have agreed more. He patted the man on the shoulder, then left him to tend his patient. At the same time, there was a knock on the front door. Willa was about to answer it, when Nick grabbed her arm.

“Nick, what are you doing?”

“Willa, we just had a shoot out this morning. Could be anyone at that door.”

“You idiot,” Willa told him without hesitation. “This is a doctor’s house. Anybody could be looking for Walter. Let me go.” Willa left the room with Nick close behind. He was rather flabbergasted at a woman who would insult him. No one had ever dared to called Nick an idiot, not even his brothers. Willa threw open the door to see a man she recognized from the telegraph office.

“Andy?”

“Willa? What are you doing here?”

“You haven’t heard about David?” Willa asked in surprise.

“Well, yeah, I guess the whole town done heard about that. I just didn’t know you were even in town. Haven’t seen ya for a while.”

“Well, David just came back to town a few days ago. Obviously he had business.” The last words were spat out in anger and disgust.

“Sorry,” was all the boy who couldn’t have been more than eighteen or so could say.

“Don’t bother. What do ya want?”

“Was looking for Nick or Jarrod Barkley. Got a telegraph for em.”

“I’m Nick Barkley.” The young man looked up at the tall muscular man with the dark cowboy clothes and hair that needed to be combed back. “Who’s it from?”

“Er…I didn’t read the message.”

“Fine. Thanks, Kid,” Nick answered. He threw the young man a silver dollar from his pocket and took the paper shutting the door in the kid’s face. Willa turned to Nick in anger.

“That was rude, wasn’t it, Mr. Barkley.”

“What?” Nick answered. “Look, Lady, I barely know you. I got family in there fighting for their lives and I don’t have a lot of time for pleasantries. Maybe you do, but I could care less.”

“I can see that. If you’ll excuse me,” Willa retorted going back towards the infirmary. Nick tore open the telegram. He hadn’t realized how sick he felt to his stomach until he read the telegram. The words were enough to finally give him some hope in the face of adversity. He memorized the words and said them over and over to himself as a way to keep his sanity as he walked into the surgery to help Dr. Abbott with Heath. The telegram was a balm for his soul.

“Jarrod and Nick. Audra improving. Will be in Hawthorne tonight. Love Mother.” Any further comfort he could get from the thought of his mother coming, and the fact that Audra was probably out of danger was forgotten as a scream from the surgery made Nick Barkley move double time. His mind stretched to the limit, Nick Barkley was not prepared for what he saw when he walked into the room. He froze in the doorway staring at his brother, knowing that whatever he did, he’d better do it fast and as carefully as he could. Heath sat on the edge of the examining table, gun in hand, out of his mind with fever, a blanket over his legs. The gun was pointed at Dr. Abbott as Heath rasped out his demand that made Nick want to laugh and cry at the same time.

“Old man, if you don’t get me my pants, I swear I’m going to blow your head off, cause I’ll tell ya, I ain't going back to that hell hole for no body.”

* * * * * * * *

Victoria Barkley sat as comfortably as she could in the wagon with her daughter lying on the make-shift bed she and Silas had made. The mattress was a thick feather mattress, soft and secure. Blankets covered the girl, protecting her from any cool breeze even though it was a warmer day. Tucked securely into place, Audra barely moved the entire five hour trip. Bless Dr. Marlowe’s heart, the mother thought several times. After his initial refusal to condone letting Audra out of her bed, he finally consented enough to give Audra some headache powders which helped her sleep even in the wagon. He made certain there were several doses. Dr. Marlowe was very protective of his patient, and insistent that as soon as Audra got to their destination, she go back to bed. He warned the pair that there were still no guarantees, that he didn’t approve of the plan, but could understand his patient’s need to do what she had to do. In fact, he told Victoria secretly, he admired Audra’s tenacity. Victoria raised her eyebrows a little at that, perceiving the man thought she was insane to put her daughter at risk. You could almost read the thought in his eyes.

“Mother?” Audra’s voice asked. Victoria’s gray eyes rested on her daughter moving a little restlessly in the bed.

“I’m here, Sweetheart.” When Audra didn’t reply, the silver haired lady thought she might have gone back to sleep until she saw her daughter’s eyes wide open, staring at the sky as though she could see it. She took Audra’s hand and held it lightly in her own.

“Sweetheart, what are you thinking?” Still Audra was quiet until she took a deep breath.

“Audra?”

“I was thinking about Heath.”

“Well that’s not surprising. Sweetheart, you mustn’t worry. Your brothers won’t let Heath go lightly. They’ll fight for him, just as they did to get him released from the kidnappers.”

“I wonder how Jarrod and Nick got him back. Mother, the boys are going to be very upset, aren’t they, about Heath and me?” Victoria closed her eyes, almost glad her daughter couldn’t see her face pale at the thought of her sons’ reaction to Audra’s blindness. They were going to be devastated that was for sure. Yet, Victoria refused to allow her daughter to give in to self pity. That was definitely not a Barkley trait. She squeezed Audra’s hand again.

“Sweetheart, the boys will be upset,” she admitted. “Just as we both are. I can’t even imagine how you feel. But…and I want you to understand this, no matter if you see tomorrow or the next day or not at all, we will be here to help you. You know that don’t you?” Audra’s soft smile was a relief to her mother. She squeezed Victoria’s hand back.

“Mother, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. I…I can’t explain the darkness. Its suffocating, and I feel like I can’t breathe…”

“Oh, Audra.”

“But I didn’t finish,” the girl hurried on. “That’s why I think of Heath. Could you imagine how much more horrible it would be if I didn’t have you or the boys? A year ago, Heath didn’t have anyone. Now he has us. I hope he doesn’t think he doesn’t have any one to help him.” Again, Victoria’s heart overflowed with love and pride for this exceptional child. She wished she could hug her. Since she couldn’t she satisfied herself with brushing back the long blond hair.

“I think you and Heath will be able to help each other, Sweetheart,” Victoria said. “You’re both brave and strong.”

“I’m not nearly as brave as he is,” Audra objected.

“Oh yes you are my girl,” Victoria replied. Audra didn’t reply. Victoria spoke softly as she went on.

“I’ve been thinking about what must have happened when you were hurt, Audra.”

“Oh, Mother. It’s not important. What’s important…”

“Audra Barkley, let me finish. You said Heath defended you. If I’m not wrong, you defended him as well didn’t you?” Audra’s silence was confirmation. The young lady’s gaze returned to the sky until she spoke.

“They were brutal, especially the leader. The other two didn’t like how violent it was. When Heath went after the leader, they didn’t do anything to stop him. I tried a few times to stop them from hurting Heath, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t…”

“No, you couldn’t,” Victoria concurred. “Sweetheart, Heath couldn’t stop them. He was much stronger than you. How could you do anything?”

“How did you know what happened?” Audra asked changing the subject a little to get the attention off herself.

Victoria didn’t miss the ruse, but she let it go.

“I’ve been in similar situations with your father and brothers. I had a feeling my wild girl wouldn’t just sit by and let those men hurt her brother. What I wanted to do was let you know you and Heath did the best you could with the cards you were dealt.”

“I suppose.” Audra didn’t seem satisfied. They were coming into the town of Hawthorne just as the sun was beginning to set. As Duncan pulled up in front of the doctor’s house, Audra took her mother’s hand again.

“Thank you, Mother,” she said gratefully. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart,” came the heartfelt reply. Victoria bent down and kissed her daughter on the cheek, wondering as she climbed out of the wagon, if her son was still alive or if her nightmare was about to become even more catastrophic. She gathered her courage, and walked up to the front door of the house, praying that Heath, her golden son was still alive, never suspecting that all hell had just broken out in the house she was about to enter.

Chapter 15

Nick Barkley stared at the gun his brother was pointing at Dr. Walter Abbott. He approached Heath one step at a time until the gun was pointed at him.

“Don’t move, Mister. I don’t want to shoot anyone.” Heath wasn’t very steady, but Nick froze. He couldn’t help wonder where on earth Heath had gotten a gun. In a doctor’s surgery of all places. The question nagged at him but this wasn’t the time to ask.

“Heath, you need to put the gun down. We’re only trying to help you,” Nick started.

“Who are ya kidding? I’m not going back. I’m free now. Ya can’t make me go back to that prison.”

“Heath, you’re not going to a prison. You’re not at Carterson now, or with David. You’re safe with us. I’m your brother. I’m Nick. Remember Nick? Come on, Heath, think.” Heath was having difficulty sitting up. Still he watched every movement in the office. Nick took another step, then another. Heath didn’t stop him. He dared to hope until the gun went off.

“Heath, no!” Martha Abbott cried seeing the bullet hit the floor at Nick’s feet.

“I told him…” Heath rasped, his blue eyes fluttering. “not…to…move.”

“Heath, he’s your brother,” Martha insisted.

“I don’t have…a…”

“Don’t say it, Heath,” Nick shouted. Heath’s hooded blue eyes shot open. Nick figured he was starting to reach Heath. He stepped forward again.

“Heath, you do have brothers. Jarrod is your brother. I’m your brother. We just saved you after you were kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped? No…”

“Heath, you and Audra…”

“NO!” Heath yelled. “Audra…Audra’s gone. She’s…dead.” The pure horror on the blond’s face stopped Nick Barkley cold. The grief he had felt in holding his sister’s limp body in his arms washed over him. He knew exactly how Heath felt. He had to help his little brother. But Heath still held the gun. To Nick’s horror the feverish man took the gun and pointed it to his head. Tears flooded the younger man’s eyes, falling down the flushed cheeks without stopping. Nick wished he knew what to do to stop Heath. In his right mind, his brother would never think of hurting himself or so Nick hoped, but now, now he was delirious with fever. He had to stop him!

“Heath! Audra’s not…” Heath pressed the gun closer to his head. One more movement and he’d be a dead man for real. Nick wondered why his heart didn’t just stop in panic.

“Don’t mention…her…name…My fault…my fault…” Heath gasped, his breath coming with more difficulty. Nick looked over at Dr. Abbott, holding his wife’s hand. He could see the doctor was as ready to step in to stop Heath as much as he was. He took another step and was just beyond arm’s reach.

“Heath, it’s not your fault. Audra’s alive, Heath. She is. Do you hear me, Boy? Audra is alive, and she loves you the way we all love you. Please give me the gun.” Nick was certain Heath was going to fire the gun. Heath’s grief ripped through the air with his words knifing through his brother as if to draw blood.

“Don’t…lie…to…me! I…killed…my…sister.” Nick closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, he prayed he was dreaming and Heath was not holding a gun to his head. That was not what he saw. Losing it completely, Nick Barkley’s famous temper flared. He held out his hand and gave it to Heath with all he had.

“Heath Barkley! Give me that gun right now, Boy or you’ll be one sorry Cowboy.” he bellowed as loud as he could, Heath wasn’t impressed. He didn’t move, not until a voice shocked the two men into a whole different scenario.

“Heath!” a soft cry echoed in the room. “Heath!” Nick, Dr. Abbott, Martha and Heath all looked to the door of the surgery where Duncan held Audra in his arms. Next to her stood Victoria Barkley. Behind them stood a shocked Willa.

“Audra?” Heath gasped. “Sis?” Nick’s attention was locked on Heath, although he wanted to go and give Audra a bear hug. Seeing her alive and well or so he thought, gave him added tenacity. Heath lowered the gun as he repeated his sister’s name in apparent disbelief. His brother saw his chance. In a flash, the dark cowboy had rushed the younger brother, knocking the gun out of his hands. To his surprise, Heath didn’t fight him. Instead he broke in to a paroxysm of coughing, coughing so hard he brought up more blood, this time bright red. Dr. Abbott grabbed a towel and put it under the man’s chin. Nick supported him as Victoria cried out.

“Heath!” She turned to Duncan. “Get her out of here.” Duncan fled with his precious charge. The mother was at her sons’ side instantly. Heath seemed to take forever to finish coughing. When he finally did, he was so weak he could not sit up. He leaned back against Nick, his eyes closed. For a minute he barely seemed to be breathing.

“Nick, I need to check him over one more time, make sure he didn’t loosen any bandages. Why don’t you take your mother into the waiting room? When you’re ready you can take your sister into the infirmary as well. She looked exhausted. Then come back here and we can finally get Heath to bed. He’s been in here all day.”

“Dr. Abbott? I’m Victoria Barkley. How is my son?”

Dr. Abbott and Martha exchanged glances.

“Dr. Abbott, please. I’ve been so worried.”

“Mrs. Barkley, I’m sorry. He’s been badly beaten and well, he was shot this morning. Normally the wound wouldn’t be so terrible except that Heath was already in a weakened condition. Right now, it’s touch and go. He has a high fever as you can see and I believe Pneumonia has set in. We just have to do the best we can. He’s fought hard to survive this long. I promise I have no intention of giving up on him.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Victoria said with evident gratitude, but still maintaining her quiet dignity which impressed the doctor and his wife. Nick had helped his brother to lay down again. Heath was barely conscious, concentrating on breathing. Nick wondered how much his brother could hear.

“Doc, before I take my mother out and we get Audra situated, maybe you could check on Jarrod. We’ll stay with Heath.”

“Sure, Nick,” Dr. Abbott said. He and Martha left the room with Willa. Tears fell from Nick’s eyes as he realized he was no longer alone. In a second he was hugging his mother.

“Mother, I’m so glad you are here,” he told her. “Is Audra all right. Should she have come so far?”

“Nick, I couldn’t leave her,” Victoria said simply. “And I had to be here for you and Heath…and Jarrod. Where is your brother, Nick.” Nick looked upward. He hugged Victoria again. She felt her son’s strong hug, but wasn’t comforted by his stiffened body.

“Nick?” Victoria tried to keep the alarm out of her voice. She already had two children who had been at death’s door. With Heath still fighting for his life, and Audra’s blindness, surely this nightmare could not get worse. Seeing Nick’s hazel eyes narrowing in sorrow, she knew it could. She took his hands in hers, her little hands amazingly strong, bringing Nick back to earth reluctantly.

“Jarrod…” Nick turned to look at Heath who was breathing tightly with his eyes closed. He turned back to his mother for a brief moment. “Jarrod was hurt last night. Some men tried to take what was in the trunk. They couldn’t know there were only clippings in there. He was grazed by a bullet…on the side of the head.”

“Oh my God,” Victoria breathed putting her hand to her mouth in anxiety. Nick hurried on trying to not upset his tiny mother any more than necessary.

“Naturally Jarrod didn’t pay attention to Dr. Abbott telling him to stay put. He was in the thick of getting Heath away from the kidnappers. In fact if it wasn’t for him, I don’t think we’d be here. You should be very proud of him, Mother.”

“Nicholas!”

“He’s in Dr. Abbott’s infirmary. He’s been unresponsive most of the day. We don’t know if he’s unconscious or just sleeping. Dr. Abbott can’t say.” The gray eyes closed. Victoria hugged her son again. Relief took over Nick’s beleaguered mind. He’d been getting to the point that if he had to deal with one more catastrophe on his own, he thought he might go insane. With his mother here, he felt infinitely better. Heath’s moan caught both mother and brother off guard. Nick leaned over the younger man.

“Heath? Heath, can you hear me? It’s me, Nick. Hey, Little Brother, don’t ya want to tell me to shut up?”

“Boy…Howdy…Yeah,” Heath gasped. Nick looked over to his mother and smiled. Thank God he recognized his voice. Dr. Abbott came back into the room. Nick’s heart leaped at the man’s appearance. Dr. Abbott was grinning from ear to ear.

“Jarrod’s awake, and sitting up. Audra’s already in there. Your man apparently looked for a bed and found one. Audra apparently woke your brother when they came into the room. Jarrod’s talking with her.”

“Whooopeee!” Nick yelled. “That’s the best news I heard all day.”

“Nick,” Heath’s voice rasped. Nick leaned over the injured man again.

“Yeah, Heath.” Heath’s hand tried to reach Nick’s face as the fevered blue eyes searched for him. Nick took his hand. Heath managed to reach Nick’s face, slapping it lightly.

“Too…damn…loud.”

“That’s okay, Heath,” Victoria told him. “It’s all right, Son.” Heath saw his mother for the first time. He flashed her a lop-sided grin, then went into another spasm of coughing. Nick lifted Heath to a sitting position, supporting him once again. The gruff cowboy’s heart ached at the sound of the racking cough. Would Heath survive these attacks, he wondered or would the fever get him? He figured Jarrod was out of the woods. Audra was safe. Now the question was, could they save Heath?

* * * * * * * *

When Duncan was rushed out of the surgery, he stood at a loss for a minute as to what to do with Audra. She leaned her tired head against his shoulder, telling the man that the girl was definitely tired from her trip. He opened the closest door which happened to be to the infirmary. He stopped at the sight of Jarrod resting. For all he knew, Jarrod was just sleeping.

“What is it, Duncan?” Audra asked when the man hesitated at the door.

“It’s Jarrod. He’s sleeping. We don’t want to wake him.”

“Jarrod?” Audra cried before she could think.

“Take me over to him. I want to talk to him.”

“Miss Audra. He’s sleeping.”

“Not any more,” Jarrod’s laconic voice called out. “Duncan? Audra?” Jarrod sat up, putting a hand to his head then taking it away hastily at the sight of his little sister in their ranch foreman’s arms. Duncan flashed a grin at Jarrod as he spoke to his burden.

“Miss Audra, there’s a bed next to Jarrod’s. I’m going to sit you on the side of the bed.”

“Thank-you, Duncan.” Audra’s soft voice said. Jarrod Barkley watched Duncan walk across the room, past the other two beds to let Audra sit next to him. Her beauty, her voice, her very presence was a miracle to the big brother who had worried so all this time for her.

“Audra? How did you get here? Where’s Nick and Heath.”

“Mr. Nick and Mr. Heath are with your mother and the doc,” Duncan explained quickly. Jarrod Barkley, an Attorney through and through observed his little sister, wondering at her strength to come so far when she had been so very ill such a short time before. He blinked a few times as he took in her slender figure sitting on the bed in her dark blue dress, her blond hair shimmering over her shoulders, with her lovely eyes gazing straight past him. The lawyer’s heart caught in his throat. Quickly he glanced at Duncan. The man was about to speak when Jarrod put his finger to his lip, and motioned the man to leave. It was clear Jarrod had instantly figured out that his sister was blind.

“Miss Audra, I’m going to go stable the horses. Will you be all right?”

“With Jarrod? Of course I will.”

“All right, Miss Audra.” Duncan hurried away. Jarrod sat on the edge of his cot. His head was killing him, but he figured he didn’t feel too dizzy so he could manage. He took Audra’s hand, and spoke, trying to keep his voice from giving away the emptiness that was in him at seeing his little sister suffer.

“Audra, how did you get here?”

“Mother brought me, Jarrod. Nick sent a telegram that Heath was terribly injured. She had to come. I had to come.”

“But you were hurt,” Jarrod objected.

“Jarrod, it doesn’t matter. What matters is Heath.”

“You matter, Little Sister,” Jarrod’s voice spoke to the girl. It was Pappy’s voice, filled with the concern that Audra always equated with her brother. She fought to not cry because she knew exactly what Jarrod was going after.

“Is it that obvious, Jarrod?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to miss.” Audra frowned, her forehead wrinkling in distress.

“I was hoping I could fool you for a few minutes.”

“You’re being awfully brave, Audra,” Jarrod complimented.

“No I’m not,” Audra objected, her voice raising a few notches. “Oh Jarrod, I’m scared to death, but Mother’s so worried about Heath, I couldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“So you hid your feelings?”

“Yes. It’s awful. I hate it.”

“I believe that. Audra, we’re going to get you through this. Did the doctor say if it was permanent?” Jarrod’s hand in hers was comforting as some tears fell from the girl’s blue eyes. She shook her head. Jarrod grasped her hand a little harder.

“What does that mean, Audra?”

“He doesn’t know,” she wailed finally breaking down. She burst into tears, sobbing her fears while Jarrod moved over and took her in his arms. At the same moment, Willa opened the door to let in Nick and Dr. Abbott who were bringing Heath into the room. Victoria, hearing her daughter cry, brushed past her son and hurried to the distressed girl. When Jarrod moved, Victoria took her daughter into her arms and comforted her. Meanwhile Nick and Dr. Abbott got Heath into bed. The blond wasn’t coughing, but he wasn’t completely alert either. He pulled Nick’s arm as the doctor pulled a blanket over him.

“Nick?”

“Yeah, Heath. I’m here.”

“Audra…”

“She’s here, Heath. She’s just a little upset.” Audra was trying to calm down. Her mother brushing her hair back and speaking soft words of encouragement helped. She felt Victoria’s hand go out and pull Jarrod’s hand to both of them.

“Why?” Heath went on. His glazed baby blue eyes pounded into Nick with his evident concern. Nick shook his head.

“She usually need a reason?” he bantered. Heath seemed to think a second then shook his head.

“Guess…not.” He fell asleep so fast, Nick wondered if he was seeing things. Dr. Abbott checked the young man with his stethoscope.

“It’s okay. He’s just resting. We need to get his fever down. I’m going to get some ice. I keep some in an ice house out back.”

“I can help ya, Doc,” Nick said. “Just let me make sure my little sister is recovering from her little cry.”

“I’ll meet you out back,” the doctor said. He left the room as Jarrod stood up a little unsteady but quickly getting his bearings. He walked quickly to his brother.

“Nick, wait a second,” he said, hoping to save Nick from the shock he had just sustained.

“Brother Jarrod, you scared the heck out of me. Tell me you aren’t going to go to sleep for another eight hours.” Jarrod was taken aback.

“Eight hours? Good Lord. No wonder Mother and Audra are here. How’s Heath?” Nick briefly gave Jarrod an update which hardly helped the man to feel better. The two brothers hugged. Nick’s eyes went to his mother still comforting Audra. Jarrod placed himself between his mother and sister and his brother.

“Jarrod, what are you doing?” Jarrod moved a few feet towards Nick, forcing the man backwards. Nick was not happy. He was about to snap at Jarrod to get out of his way when something in Jarrod’s demeanor shut him up.

“Jarrod, you’re scaring me,” he admitted in a voice too low for Audra or Victoria to hear.

“Be still and listen,” Jarrod warned. “When I woke up, Duncan let Audra sit across from me. He couldn’t let me know what had happened.”

“What happened? She’s fine. She sitting up…She…”

“Nick, she can’t see,” Nick Barkley wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. Audra was blind? It couldn’t be true. I couldn’t. Not his little sister, not the girl who loved to dance and flirt and primp and help orphans, and race her brothers across the range on her favorite horses. For a second he simply shook his head in disbelief. Jarrod could see the rage growing in Nick’s eyes with no place to vent the demon that was setting him on fire.

“Nick?”

“No!” Nick denied. “No! No! No!” The second Barkley son bolted from the room. Victoria hearing the door to the infirmary slam shut had finally gotten Audra to lay down. Jarrod hurried back to his mother and sister.

“She’s just exhausted. She’ll be fine,” the mother assured her son. “Should I go to him?”

“He needs time, Mother. It’s just too much for him right now.”

“Jarrod, is he mad at me?”

“Mad at you, honey? Why would he be mad?” Jarrod asked sitting down on the cot with Audra. Victoria patted Audra’s hand, then went over to sit with Heath and talk to Dr. Abbott. Somewhere in the preceding few minutes Mrs. Abbott and Willa had left the room.

“I don’t know. Nick doesn’t always make sense when he’s mad.”

“Well, that’s true, Audra, but I think this time he’s mad at the men who took Heath and hurt you.”

“So am I. If I could I’d…I’d kill them.”

“Audra!”

“Mother, they had no right to do what they did.”

“Sweetheart, I understand what you’re saying, but hatred won’t help Heath or you or Nick. It won’t help any of us.”

“I wish it would,” the girl said. “Jarrod you have to get Nick back here. He shouldn’t be alone.”

“Nick’s been through a great deal, Sis,” Jarrod told her. “He’ll be back. You wait and see.”

“He’d better or I’ll give him what for.” Victoria smiled at her daughter’s words.

“That’s my girl,” she encouraged. “Now, Sweetheart, you get some rest. You promised you would do what I said. You helped your brother and then some. Jarrod, would you get her some water?”

“Yes, Mother.” Jarrod went over to Victoria and hugged her.

“I can bet you had a difficult ride, but I’m so relieved you are both here. You give us a great deal of strength, Mother.”

“Thank-you, Sweetheart.” Victoria looked over at Audra then back to her son. “She’s been so very brave, Jarrod. She insisted on coming with me when we got Nick’s telegram.”

“It took great courage just to come here. I truly admire her and you for letting her come.”

“She can be just as stubborn as you boys,” Victoria stated.

“I heard that, Mother,” Audra said.

“Good night, Audra,” Victoria returned. “Jarrod, you better get the water. I’m going to sit with Heath.” Jarrod kissed his mother lightly on the forehead, and exited the room. Victoria didn’t know where to get the cold water she wanted to bathe Heath and get him cleaned up. To satisfy her restlessness, she brushed his blond hair back from his hot forehead. His hair was damp, his face a mass of bruises. His chest, and sides were also a mass of bruises where there weren’t bandages anyway. Heath moved restlessly on the bed, but slept on, unaware of his mother’s grief at seeing her son so badly mutilated.

“Heath, what happened to you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She tried to brush away a furrow of worry on his forehead, but couldn’t. He was dreaming, dreaming, she was sure of the person or persons who had done this to him. For a minute, for a short minute that lasted a lifetime, Victoria Barkley cursed whoever had so viciously hurt her son. Then she prayed for forgiveness and she prayed for Heath’s life. He wasn’t going to die, she told herself, no matter what the doctor said. Her children were all together again and there was no way Heath was going to leave them. She wouldn’t let him. She looked heavenward and spoke out loud forgetting that Audra who was resting nearby could hear her.

“Please God, don’t take my son. Tom, do you hear me. Protect Audra and Heath. Please. Someone hear my plea. Oh, Please.” The mother’s voice cracked in pent up desperation. The mother couldn’t know that the daughter echoed her prayer in silence and with a hope that somewhere the Father above and the father she had lost so long ago would hear them. If only her prayers were answered, Heath would be well and he would laugh again. She would get her sight back so she could see the blue of her brother’s eyes twinkling with humor and the special bond she shared with Heath. She loved him so much it hurt physically to know he was at death’s door. Dear God, Audra prayed as Jarrod came back into the room with her water, only you can make my dreams come true, you and my father…Please!

Chapter 16

Hawthorne, California

Dr. Abbott’s Infirmary

48 hours later

Victoria Barkley stood out on the back porch of Dr. Abbott’s welcoming house. Next to her, Nick stood. Together they were watching the sunset. Victoria leaned her head on her son’s arm. She wasn’t tall enough to reach his shoulder.

“You cold, Mother?”

“No.”

“Mother?” The cowboy’s voice was concerned. Victoria sighed at the brilliant orange and red hues that filled the sky so far away. It was as if the horizon were on fire, just the way her life felt, flames consuming her heart and soul in her fear for her children.

“Nick, I’m just worried. Dr. Abbott thinks the crisis will come with Heath tonight. He’s held his own so far, but his fever is so high.”

“I know,” Nick returned. Nick sounded almost beaten After two days of listening to Heath cry out in delirium, and hearing Willa’s stories on the abuse his younger brother took, he just didn’t know how Heath would be the same.

“Nick, we can’t lose him,” Victoria breathed, hugging his arm a little closer. When her son didn’t reply, Victoria moved away to observe her middle son. What she saw told her how much Nick was suffering. Tears fell down his cheeks. His hazel eyes wore dark shadows, and his brow was furrowed in distress and anger.

“Oh, Nick, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why not?” The usually blunt son answered. “Why not, Mother? It’s the truth. He’s barely holding on. He’s been through hell and back. Why should he even want to fight when people like David and Joshua can just take him off the street and torture him. Who would want to live in a world like that? Hell, I don’t blame him if he gives up.” Victoria was shocked at Nick’s words. At the same time she completely understood his frustration if you called what Nick felt frustration. She couldn’t put a word on his emotions except that they came from the bottom of his heart. That she knew. Putting her small hands on his arms, she tried to get his attention as he stared off at the horizon.

“Nick look at me.” When he didn’t answer, her grip tightened. “Nicholas! I said!” With his face portraying his grief, Nick Barkley looked down at the tiny woman who stood in front of him. Neither one of them saw Jarrod standing near by, brought out by Nick’s yelling. He listened unable to resist eavesdropping on one of his mother’s well known lectures. They were always enlightening unless they were directed at him of course.

“Heath would never give up.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“Nicholas, do not interrupt me. Your brother is one of the bravest and strongest men I know. His mother raised him to be the man he is today. I like to think some of the caring and concern and love the family has given him has helped him grow even more. If he dies, it’s not because he gave up. He would never willingly leave us. You know that. Now, don’t ever let me hear you say your brother would give up on anything. You go back in there and you help him to fight. Right now.” Nick’s gaze went back to the sunset, then to his mother. Bending down, he kissed her lightly on the cheek, then brushed passed Jarrod to go inside. Victoria turned to follow him, stopping when she saw her eldest son. “Jarrod?” Jarrod held up his hands in mock surrender at Victoria’s puzzled gaze.

“I was just checking to make sure you and Brother Nick were all right. That boy could raise the dead with his caterwalling.” Victoria smiled in spite of herself.

“Bad boy to eavesdrop,” she teased. Jarrod hugged his mother in reply. The mother allowed herself a minute to let her son comfort her. When she pulled away, she brushed away unbidden tears.

“If I cry one more time,” she mumbled to herself.

“Well if its one thing Heath would hate to see it would be your tears,” Jarrod reminded her. She tried to smile, but didn’t have the heart.

“Mother, he’s tough. He’ll make it through this. He didn’t survive in that lean-to to give up now.”

“Two days, Jarrod. Two days he’s been fighting the fever. I don’t know how he goes on.”

“He’s a Barkley that’s how,” came the certain answer. “Come on. Let’s go inside. It’s going to be a long night.” Victoria locked her arm in Jarrod’s. Together, mother and son went into the house to join the rest of the family at Heath’s side. One way or another they would know by morning if the golden cowboy would live or if, thanks to the insanity of two men, he would lose his fight and his family would lose their brother and son and part of their hearts forever.

* * * * * * * *

In the house, Heath had awakened, truly awakened for the first time in the last few days. Oh, he had been deliriously awake several times, to the point where it took Jarrod, Nick and Dr. Abbott to hold him down much to Victoria and Audra’s distress. But Heath didn’t remember those brief periods of consciousness. Lying in bed, the blond looked around the room pushing off his covers, then pulling them back up as he realized he was wearing only a nightshirt and a soaked nightshirt at that. The heat was so hot, but he was lucid. He hoped he would stay that way. Turning to his left, he saw two women talking softly together. His eyes grew wide.

“Water,” his parched throat cried first. In three steps, Willa was by her friend’s side. She poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the nightstand.

“Heath, you’re awake,” she smiled in relief. Heath let the woman help him sit up. His eyes were glued to the pretty blond lady who sat two beds away from him, even as he drank. Some of the water dribbled down his chin. It felt good across his hot cheeks.

“Boy Howdy…more?” he asked still staring at Audra. Willa shook her head, trying to forget the last time he asked her the same question. She put the glass back and helped Heath lay down.

“That’s enough Heath. Give yourself time and I’ll give ya more in a few minutes.” Willa answered. “And don’t go getting any ideas about drinking the whole pitcher either.” Her scolding was confusing to the young man. He pulled on her dress. She turned back to him.

“What is it, Heath?” Sitting down on the bed with the sick man, she frown a little with concern at the redness of his cheeks and the glaze in his heavenly blue eyes. “Ya sure a sight to behold, Heath. Ya been outta yer head for two whole days.”

“Two days? Jarrod and Nick? They all right?”

“Yeah, They’re fine, Heath.”

“Phew,” Heath sighed. He closed his hot eyes for a minute. Willa thought he was going back to sleep again. Audra who couldn’t help but hear the conversation made her way over to the bed next to Heath’s. In two days she had learned her way around the room with a little difficulty. Counting steps helped. Her mother refused to let her depend on the family any more than necessary, so Audra hid her fear and persevered. She found the bed and sat down. Heath opened his eyes to see her pretty face again. He tugged at Willa’s sleeve again without talking to his sister.

“Willa?”

“Yeah, Heath?”

“Ya talking to my sister?”

“Well, yeah. I think we’ve gotten to be friends.” Audra was about to speak up when Heath went on.

“I killed her you know. My little sister. She’s gone, Willa.”

“Heath, No,” Willa objected. Heath nodded tears filling his eyes. Willa was glad Audra couldn’t see them. She had to help him see the truth.

“You’re talking to a ghost, Willa.” Heath’s words were coming faster and faster over the rapid and shallow respirations. Willa stood up. She took Audra’s hand, seeing the shock on the girl’s face. She whispered to her.

“Talk to him, Audra. Tell him what’s what.” Audra sat down on the bed. Heath reached out a hand.

“Audra…you going to take me with you?” Heath rasped in a voice that frightened his sister. Drawing on the strength of generations of Barkley’s, she spoke with a firm caring voice.

“Heath, I’m not taking you anywhere. You didn’t hurt me, Heath. You would never hurt me.”

“Didn’t protect ya,” the golden cowboy muttered. He was finding it difficult to catch a breath. Again he was overtaken by a spasm of coughing. He sat up trying hard to catch his breath. Willa hurried forward to help.

“Lean forward Audra. I’ll put his arms around you and he can lean against you. Then he’ll know you’re real and you can help him at the same time.” Audra nodded. Her big brother’s flaming hot body was placed in her arms. His head collapsed against her shoulders.

“Big Brother, keep coughing. Get that phlegm up,” she encouraged. She felt a hand weakly touching her blond hair, then fall to the bed. Heath pulled back. Willa supported his back and let him cough the phlegm into a towel which had been done several times over the last few days. To her relief it wasn’t red like some of it had been. Now it was green, still an indication of infection, Dr. Abbott had told her. She helped her patient lay down again as Nick, followed by Victoria and Jarrod came back into the room.

Audra felt her hand being held in the large warm hands. She touched Heath’s hands with her other one.

“You’re real, Audra,” Heath breathed. “Oh, God!”

“Heath, I’m here. It’s all right now. You’re going to get better and we’re going to go home so you can work on the ranch again.”

Heath shook his head with a resigned emotional face that sent a chill through his family. His hand touched Audra’s face.

“Too late…” he whispered. “My fault, Sis. My fault.” He seemed to be drifting away. Even Audra could feel it.

“Heath!” she cried, her voice rising but still in control. “You didn’t do anything. What happened was beyond your control. Don’t you leave us.”

“You’re safe…Jarrod…Nick…all…matters,” Heath gasped. Nick, Jarrod, Victoria and Willa all watched as Heath closed his eyes, his respirations becoming slow, and just as shallow. It was clear to them that he was letting go. Nick was about to pounce on his brother when Audra’s hand moved in a fierce attempt to find what she was looking for. Before anyone else could reach Heath she had raised her hand bringing it down with a resounding slap on the offending face.

“Heath, I swear if you die on me, I’m never going to forgive you,” she yelled in a voice that almost outranked Brother Nick’s bellow. The harsh smack echoed through the room. Victoria hid a giggle with her hand despite the seriousness of the situation. Nick and Jarrod both smiled. Heath’s blue eyes flew open in shock.

“What?” He cried, his voice still barely above a whisper. “Didya…do…that…for?”

“You fool,” Audra cried. “You were about to quit weren’t you? Well no one in this room is going to let you, so you can just forget it.” Heath barely moved. Audra found his hand and took it in hers again. She held it against her cheek. Heath chuckled just the least bit. His words were barely audible, but since the family was hovering around the bed, none of them could miss what he said.

“Boy howdy…old…man…sure…bred…em…wild.” Nick and Jarrod busted out laughing while Audra jumped on her brother again.

“Darn right he did, Brother Heath, and I’ll tell you what. He bred you just as strong and wild as the rest of us. So you aren’t going anywhere are you? Promise me, Heath. Please.” Her voice went from scolding to pleading in a flash. Nick bent over to pinch Heath in the arm as he started to fall asleep again. Again his eyes flew open at yet another sibling’s interference with his journey towards the next life.

“Did you hear our little sister, Smart Ass?” Nick asked. “She wants a promise from ya and so do I.” Heath looked from Nick to Audra. She still held his hand.

“Promise me, Heath. You’re going to get through this and we’ll go riding back at the ranch. Promise me!” Heath, too tired to argue caved in.

“Promise…Sis.” Audra breathed a sigh of relief. Heath fell asleep again as Victoria came around the bed and took her daughter in her arms hugging her close.

“Sweetheart, I am so proud of you. You are truly a brave young lady.”

“Mother, he promised. He promised he would fight,” she answered. “He won’t die now will he?”

“Little Sister, he wouldn’t dare,” Nick told her in his booming voice.

“Definitely not,” Jarrod chuckled. “Audra I do believe you should have been the lawyer in this family.”

“Thank-you, Jarrod. Mother, now what do we do?” Dr. Abbott came into the room. He brought more ice. Victoria was not happy. She turned to the doctor with her hands on her hips.

“Walter,” She started. After two days everyone was on a first name basis. “You said if we put Heath in ice one more time, he might have a heart attack. It could kill him. What are you doing?” Dr. Abbott put the ice down. He faced the indomitable little woman without blinking an eye.

“Well, Victoria, the way I figure it, we have two options. While you were outside, I took Heath’s temperature. Heath’s fever is up to 105. We’ve broken it with the ice before. If we don’t break it now, he’ll die. He might anyway. We have nothing to lose by trying to pack him in ice one more. The infection is from the bullet wound and his lungs. There’s no way to stop it now except with the ice.” The mother’s hands fell to her side. She looked at her sons, and daughter. Audra found herself standing up, her hand over her mouth. Nick quickly came over to her. She burst into tears, letting the middle brother she adored comfort her. Jarrod put his arm around his mother while Willa sat down with Heath and put a cool cloth on his fevered forehead. He didn’t move. It was clear to all that the time for decisions had come.

“Nick?” Victoria asked. “Jarrod? Audra?” No words were spoken. The children knew what their mother wanted. Each nodded, even Audra from the darkness of the world that surrounded her. She buried her face in Nick’s chest again bursting into tears anew. Victoria turned to Dr. Abbott.

“Do it,” She ordered. Once again the tears slipped down her cheeks as Nick and Willa helped the doctor put the ice chips around her son. Nick spoke to his brother all the while as Jarrod hugged his mother close. She looked up at her dark haired son.

“Oh, Jarrod,” she whispered to him with a heartfelt plea. “What have we done?” Jarrod brushed away the tears again. He planted a kiss on his mother’s face, and held her fast in his comforting embrace while he tried to reassure her despite his own terrified misgivings.

“I hope,” he said in his most compassionate voice the one that brought her comfort when her husband died. “That we just saved his life. I hope…with all my heart, Mother. With all my heart.”

Chapter 17

There’s a cloud that covers the soul when you are fighting for the life of a loved one. You move on automatic pilot, hoping, praying, and talking. Most important of all is touch. They say that hearing is the last to go when you die, but touch is something a person can take with them, the caress of someone who holds your heart in their own, even as they whisper encouragement to you to fight or they tell you to let go. Nick Barkley had no intention of letting his brother go. But he couldn’t help wondering how his brother could hold on when to Nick, Heath was suffering so much.

“Nick, you need to sleep,” Victoria Barkley whispered to her son. She sat in a chair next to him. He was perched on the side of the bed with Heath, watching every breath his brother took. The gasps for air ripped at him as he willed his own iron spirit into his younger brother’s own battered body. The calloused hand held his brother’s in a grip that hadn’t seen a release in at least three or four hours. Nick’s hazel eyes never left Heath’s flushed face.

“He needs me,” Nick returned. “I can’t leave him.”

“The fever is down a little from the ice, Nick. He’s as comfortable as we can make him.”

“Mother, look at him,” Nick answered with his own anguished voice. “He’s in pain. He’s fighting with every second that passes. Can you sleep?”

“No. No I can’t. I can’t bear the thought of losing him.”

“It was such a short time ago that he came,” Nick pondered.

“Yes it was.”

“I miss not knowing him when we were children. I wish every day we could have saved him from the pain he suffered. Even more I wish we could have been brothers all those years.”

“Nick, you mean everything to him. He loves you so much. You can’t cry over the past. He’d be the first to tell you so.”

“I know, Mother.” The agonal breathing went on as mother and son sat with the man who had come to mean so much to them. Victoria leaned forward. She brushed Heath’s blond hair away from his face.

“If his heart is damaged from the ice, he’ll never be the same,” she mused.

“He’ll be alive,” Nick retorted. Victoria shook herself.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean that. It just frightens me to think of him being anything less than he is. But we need him. No matter how well his heart works. We need him.”

“He needs us. He pretends he doesn’t, but he does. I wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t found us, how his life would have gone…and how much we would have missed.”

“You’re getting to be a romantic my son.”

“Not really. I had some time for thinking in the last days. With Audra hurt and Heath missing, it was like losing a part of me. I think Jarrod felt almost the same.”

“I understand, believe me I do.” Nick’s hazel eyes, glimmering with emotion went to his mother. Victoria’s own fears for her son and daughter were written across her beautiful face. He was holding Heath’s hand with his right hand. With his left he reached out and touched his mother’s face.

“I think sometimes we forget how much of you is wrapped up in your children. You give us so much support and love every day we take it for granted.” Victoria didn’t blush, but she did lower her eyes for a minute. She wasn’t used to compliments from her middle son. When his hand started to retreat, she took it and held it to her face again, her gaze reflecting pride and joy on this son whom she depended so much.

“If I give anything, Nicholas,” she said, “It’s returned ten-fold from you, your brothers and Audra every day.” Nick didn’t know what to say in response. Victoria kissed his hand, then let him go. He looked back to his brother, his own thoughts open for all to see. He spoke what was on his mind. As usual his mother listened.

“When Father died, I wondered how we could go on, how the ranch would survive, how we would ever be a family again. It took a lot of time for the healing to happen. When it did, when we could all sit down at the table without hearing Father’s voice or wanting to cry because he wasn’t there, he was always missing anyhow. What I wouldn’t have given to have him teach me about running the ranch or go fishing or just see him giving you a hug one more time. He loved you so much.”

“Nick,” Victoria started. The mother could see how much the conversation was costing her son. She put her hand on his leg.

“No, I need to say this. Maybe he’ll hear. Then Heath came. I couldn’t believe my own father would hurt you so terribly. Now I think it was meant to be. When Heath is riding next to me or walking down the stairs or laughing, it’s like having part of Father back with us.”

“He does remind me of your father,” Victoria said. “It’s amazing how much they’re alike.”

“He was Father’s last gift to us. I believe that, Mother. He had a hard time finding his way to us, but we have a chance to make it up to him, and that’s what I have tried to do. Now, just because he is Father’s son, he’s been tortured and maimed through no fault of his own. It should have been me, Mother, not him.”

“Nick! What do you mean?” the mother asked with her own anguished cry.

“He never even knew Father. Why should he have to pay…” Victoria leaned forward squeezing Nick’s hand again.

“Nick, what happened to Heath and Audra had nothing to do with you, anymore than Heath has to do with what happened between your father and Leah. The truth is, this David held a grudge against your father. He was mad with hate and anger. There’s no reasoning with a man like that. You of all people know that, Nick.”

“But Mother, Heath didn’t deserve this.”

“No, he didn’t, but if it had happened to you, do you think we would feel any less grief or worry?” Nick looked long and hard into his mother’s eyes, seeing the tear that slipped down the soft aristocratic cheek. He shook his head.

“No.”

“Then we’ll hear no more of it,” Victoria told her son. “The most important obstacle is to get Heath through tonight.”

“If only it were that easy,” Nick choked. Victoria stood to hug her son. She sat behind him, rubbing his back giving him some of the comfort he so needed while he went on talking to his brother, watching his breathing as Heath worked to take in air through his tired body, trying in vain to keep him with them, knowing in his heart that no matter what promises the young man had made, it might only be a matter of hours before Heath left them permanently.

* * * * * * * *

He was fighting, fighting to keep his promise to his sister, to the woman who harbored a child’s heart and innocence that tugged at his own heart. Words, kind, gentle words from her made him feel welcome in the Barkley home when he might have run off from the pain of Nick’s rejection. Nick’s voice thundered in his head.

“Boy, where do you think you’re going? This is a working ranch. What’s wrong with you?”

“Gee, Nick, nothing’s wrong with me. Its breakfast time and I’ve put in a full-days work. What did you do this morning?”

“Why you smart mouthed…” Nick’s voice trailed off as his brother gave him a lopsided grin. Nick patting him on the back gave Heath a sense of accomplishment. He’d worked hard to earn his brother’s trust. Nick, the brother he had always wanted. He needed to tell him, needed to tell him before he ran out of time. His chest was on fire, his body so hot. It was so hard to tell Nick, to say the words through his parched throat.

“Nick.” Did his brother hear him? He had so much to say to him. He wanted to tell him how proud he was to be his partner, to ride with him and share the secrets that he knew Nick didn’t share even with Jarrod. He wanted to tell him how proud their father would be of his middle son, because he knew that would mean a lot to Nick and Heath sincerely believed it. He forced his eyes open.

“Heath!” Nick’s voice called to him. “That’s it, Brother. Wake up.” The glazed blue eyes saw his mother and Nick sitting on the bed. Nearby Jarrod had come to sit on the chair Victoria had vacated. He tried to breathe, but he felt as though he were suffocating. He was dying and he knew it. He could feel himself being pulled away. He didn’t want to go.

“Audra?” he gasped. Had she been real? Where was his sister. Closing his eyes, he pictured the young woman in a beautiful blue silk gown, her hair tumbling about slender shoulder, her own eyes alight with the thrill of being young and happy. She was always happy, even when her brothers were teasing her unmercifully. He thought he had hugged her, thought she was alive. Could he have been wrong.

“Heath!” His name lingered in the air. He couldn’t respond. So hard…so hard to think. So hard to move.

“Heath! Oh, God, Mother.” It was her voice! It was Audra. He tried again to open his eyes. “Nick, let me sit with him. Maybe he’ll answer me then.” Her little hand…her little hand was in his. Audra’s hand.

“Heath! Heath!”

“Audra…sorry…so sorry.” Heath made his eyes focus on the little sister. She was an angel sitting before him, an angel…

“Mother, is he breathing?” Audra asked.

“Talk to him, Audra. He has to stay conscious,” Victoria encouraged her daughter with a cracked plea in her voice. Heath’s mind was barely tracking, but in those minutes of staring at the apparition before him he realized she wasn’t looking at him. She held his hand to her cheek, but she stared at the wall behind him.

“Audra…no…”

“Heath. Don’t go to sleep. Please Big Brother. Please don’t leave us.” She spoke so urgently, but for the first time her eyes didn’t meet him. His last thought was one of painful recrimination.

“Love you…sorry…” Heath managed. He couldn’t do anymore but let his eyes rest on Nick with the truth as he knew it. He wished he could tell his brother he was sorry for leaving them…sorry for everything. He wished…A dark curtain came down over the young man and he gave in to the inevitable. Victoria saw the look of surrender on Heath’s face. Had he realized Audra was blind, she wondered? Was that why he was giving up? She couldn’t let him. She had to keep him with her. She had to! She was moving to get to Heath when she saw his hand go limp in her daughter’s. The blue eyes stared as sightless as Audra’s as the dying man took one more ragged breath, then nothing. Nick jumped up. Jarrod pulled his mother to him. Audra gasped then put her hand on Heath’s chest. It was too still. A terrifying chill ran through the young woman, the chill of death. Her horrified scream filled the room as her family froze in grief-stricken denial.

“Heath! Someone help him. Oh, please God. Heath! He’s dead! Help him!”

Chapter 18

“Heath! Someone help him. Oh Please God. Heath. He’s dead! Help him!” Audra’s heartfelt plea did not fall on deaf ears. However, the sudden silence in the room was deafening to the girl in the dark. Heath’s limp body lay before her, but she couldn’t see him. She only knew he was gone by the feel of his silent chest. He wasn’t breathing. Her heart beat in fast staccato beats that left her terrified. Her mother’s arm on hers calmed her just a little. Her mother took charge.

“Audra, move,” Victoria cried in the most urgent tone the young girl had ever heard. Victoria broke away from Jarrod’s embrace and rushed to her son’s side. At the same minute, Dr. Abbott rushed into the room. He had been sleeping upstairs, but when he heard Audra’s first cry, he was out of bed and down the stairs as her second scream had reached his ears. He could see Nick lifting his brother up in bed, and Victoria hitting him in the chest, just as she had done with Audra. The boy’s lips were blue. He wasn’t getting any air. Jarrod pulled his little sister into his arms as she started to sob hysterically. Dr. Abbott bent over the bed. He took Heath’s fingers in his hands. They were blue too. Dr. Abbott knew he could not lose this boy. If he did, the family before him would be destroyed. They loved him that much. He barked instructions rapidly.

“Victoria, let’s position him over your lap. Nick can hit him on the back. It’s the only way I know to bring him back,” Dr. Abbott ordered. Since what she was doing wasn’t working, Victoria Barkley didn’t argue. She sat on the bed. The men positioned Heath, so his head went over her lap and then over the side of the bed. Nick pounded on his brother’s back. At least three minutes had gone by since Heath had stopped breathing.

“Heath Barkley, wherever you are, get your butt back here. You got work to do,” Nick roared in his brother’s ear. He thrust his hand upward on his back again and again. Victoria cringed at the sounds of each whack. Finally Heath gave a soft gasp, then another. Nick and Dr. Abbott pulled up the limp body, to see his lips turning pink again.

“Audra, he’s breathing,” Jarrod told his sister. Audra clung to Jarrod as she tried to stop crying and continued to pray.

“Hold him up for a while,” Dr. Abbott went on. “He needs to be upright to breathe.” Nick threw off his shoes and got into bed with his brother, letting his head rest against his chest. Dr. Abbott was impressed.

“That will work,” he said. “Phew that was a little close for comfort.”

“Is he…he all right?” Audra stammered.

“He’s still here, Audra,” Dr. Abbott said. He leaned over and felt Heath’s forehead. “Victoria, will you get me that thermometer on the table.” The doctor examined his unconscious patient. The pulse was sure and steady. The fingernail beds had gotten their color back. Victoria gave him the thermometer and he put it under Heath’s armpit. It was a way to take a temperature when a person couldn’t hold the thermometer in their mouth. After five minutes while Jarrod comforted Audra and Victoria talked softly to her son, he took the thermometer out.

“It’s down to 100. Folks, I do believe he’s passed the worst of it. He’s still got a bit of fever, but if we keep him cool through the night, the fever should break. I think he’s going to be all right.”

“Thank God,” Victoria gasped. Audra felt the world go dizzy around her. For a second she thought how funny it was that she felt dizzy, but could not see. Unable to help her, the girl’s body sagged in Jarrod’s arms.

“Audra!” Victoria cried. She was torn between her two children as Jarrod scooped his sister up in his arms.

“She’s all right, Mother. Just tired. We’re all exhausted,” Jarrod said. “I’ll take care of her.” Dr. Abbott brought a fresh porcelain bowl of cool water which Victoria put on the chair next to her. She continued to wipe Heath down and keep him cool while Nick talked to Heath. Jarrod sat on the side of the bed with his sister. She hadn’t lost consciousness entirely. Now she was feeling a bit foolish.

“Jarrod, I’m fine,” she insisted.

“I know you are. Didn’t I just tell Mother the same thing? Indulge Big Brother. That was quite a shock you sustained.”

“I was terrified,” Audra admitted, her blue eyes wide despite the fact they could not focus. “I couldn’t feel him breathing. Oh, Jarrod, I wanted more than anything to see him. It was so dark.” Her words hung in the air as Victoria and Nick exchanged glances, unable to help overhearing Audra.

“Honey, whether you could see him or not, it was terrifying for all of us. We have to move beyond that and know that Heath is going to be fine. He’s one stubborn man.”

“It’s going to take a long time for him to get better though,” Audra pondered.

“I’ve been thinking about that, Audra,” Victoria said. “How about if, when Heath is able to travel, we take him up to the mountain cabin and help him get well there. It might be good for you too.”

“Couldn’t we all go? Jarrod and Nick need some rest too. I…I’d like all my brothers to be around.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me, Honey,” Jarrod said.

“Me too. Duke has been running the ranch this long. I’m sure a few more days won’t matter.”

“Now, Folks, Heath won’t be able to travel for a few days,” Dr. Abbott warned.

“Walter, I’m a good nurse. I can take care of my sons,” Victoria snapped back. “If you’d like you can come with us to make sure we do a good job.”

“Two days, Victoria. I insist on it, and then I’d like you to take Willa with you. She could use the healing too, but she can help you with all the nursing that needs to be done for Heath.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Mother,” Audra cried. “I enjoy Willa and we can go for walks. I won’t be shut in the house.”

“Little Sister, you are way too eager,” Nick teased.

“It’s something to look forward to…so we can end this horrible nightmare,” Audra threw back. “If Heath had died…”

“But he didn’t,” Nick stormed back.

“That’s enough, Nick. Dr. Abbott, we’ll think about what you said.” The mother took control of the emotions emulating from her brood. “You all need to rest. Jarrod, help Audra get ready for bed and then go to sleep you. I’ll sit with Heath. Nick you can sleep too. I’m going to put a pillow on your head. Are you comfortable?”

“If you’re asking would I like to give up my spot, Mother, not a chance. A pillow would be nice though.” Victoria smiled. She couldn’t know how much Nick cherished that smile when a short time before her anguish had made him want to scream in his own grief. The pillow against his back felt good. He closed his eyes, hugging his brother to him, listening to Heath’s soft breathing. It was like manna from heaven, hearing those sounds, and knowing the crisis was over, at least the immediate crisis.

“Mother, wake me in four hours and I’ll take over,” Jarrod said.

“You will not,” Nick retorted opening his eyes. “I can do it. You need your sleep, Counselor.”

“Nick is right, Jarrod. You’ve barely slept and you’re still recovering. Let Nick and I take care of your brother.”

“Willa and I are here too,” Dr. Abbott offered. “If you all have everything under control, I’m back to bed. The wife is probably scared to death. Audra, you can sure scream.”

“I try,” Audra replied with a weak laugh.

“Ha, ha,” Nick muttered again shivering at the remembered screech that almost made his own heart stop. This brought a round of laughter from everyone, except Nick who kissed the top of Heath’s golden head, a movement not missed by his mother. She kissed Nick’s forehead.

“I love you, Nick,” she whispered. “Go to sleep now.” Nick Barkley did as his mother said. He closed his eyes, hearing the door shut behind Dr. Abbott as he left. Was this what Audra heard, the sensitive man wondered. His sister couldn’t see. He still had difficulty with the concept. He held his best friend safe in his arms, but he held his sister in his mind, wondering how she coped in the dark. Mother insisted she would see again. Would she? Heath would get well. One way or another the family would help him heal, not just physically but mentally as well. At least he thought they could do that. But maybe, just maybe it was going to be up to Heath and Audra to help each other. They had started down the road to town together, less than a week before. Now together, they were on the road to the lives that they so desperately needed to return to. Would they make it? Would they survive the demons that ate at them. Nick knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But then, as his mother often said, the best things in life are usually the hardest to attain. Nick’s brother and sister were a part of his soul. He would do whatever was needed to help them get well. The question was, would it be enough?

Chapter 19

“Heath, can you see the birds?” Audra asked her brother as they rode in the wagon towards the lodge. The brother and sister were sitting with Willa in the back of a wagon that Victoria was driving. Nick sat next to her. Jarrod was driving a separate wagon with supplies behind them. Willa smiled at the innocent question as Heath looked up.

“The birds?” he queried. “What birds, Sis?”

“I can hear them. Surely they must be there.”

“Heath, look directly overhead,” Willa instructed. Heath leaned further back. In the trees overhead, there were several birds, but only a few were chirping. Heath could hardly hear them.

“Sis, you’re way ahead of me. There are some birds in the trees that are looping over the road, but they’re mighty quiet. I can’t believe you heard them.”

“I have extra powers, Big Brother,” Audra teased lightly. Victoria and Nick exchanged glances. Nick’s arm went around his mother’s shoulder, knowing how pained Victoria was at the fact that Audra’s eyesight showed no signs of improvement. The family had left Hawthorne on Tuesday and rested at the ranch for a few days before leaving this morning for the lodge. It was now Friday, nine days since Heath and Audra, and subsequently the family’s nightmare had started. Dr. Merar had checked out both Heath and Audra. Audra was recovering well from her head injury. She was plagued with headaches at times. You could tell when she was suffering from one because her face would turn white and she would need to lay down for a few hours until it dissipated. Heath, on the other hand was slow to recover. The gunshot wound in his side had only complicated his broken ribs and his battered body. He was still running a low fever, but Dr. Merar said that was to be expected given the trauma he had gone through. His mental condition was fragile to the point where he would barely let Audra out of his sight. He also preferred to have Nick close by. Victoria knew that while her children might be recovering from their physical wounds, their emotional wounds might continue for far longer than was physically noticeable.

Heath propped up with pillows and blankets closed his eyes in fatigue. They had only been driving two hours and there were several hours to go before they would reach the lodge. He wanted to sleep, but his dreams were so frequently plagued by nightmares, he was afraid of upsetting the family so he wasn’t really sleeping much. Every time he fell asleep, he could see Audra being thrown by David or feel the entrapment of the chains that had held him to the shanty wall. He raged inside himself, wishing he could control the images. Audra was safe. She had barely left his side since he came through the crisis.

“Heath, you look awful,” Willa told him.

“Boy howdy you are blunt, Willa.” Audra stifled a giggle.

“Go to sleep, Heath. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.”

“I’m not that tired,” Heath denied. Willa simply shook her head. She moved over to sit next to her friend. Dressed in one of Audra’s short riding outfits, her face cleaned and her brown hair flowing about her slender shoulders, the girl had quickly become a member of the family with her devotion to both Audra and Heath. Nick had even apologized for his initial hostility after Heath recounted how Willa had saved his life, more than once during the horrific ordeal. She put her arm around Heath’s shoulders.

“Lean your head against me and rest you foolish man. Otherwise I’ll ask your mother to turn this wagon around and we’ll be on our way home!”

“You would too,” Heath grumbled.

“If she didn’t, I would,” Victoria Barkley added to the conversation. “Heath, we don’t want you to get sicker. Just rest Sweetheart. If you sleep, maybe we’ll be there when you wake up.”

“Women,” Heath mumbled, leaning against Willa’s shoulder. She pulled the blanket over her friend, singing to him as she had when he was rescued from the shanty. Her heavenly voice sang a lullaby that lulled Audra as well. A peacefulness came over the girl who still hid her own anxieties and worries about her eyesight. Gradually Willa’s voice became more and more soft until she finished the song.

“Is he sleeping, Willa?”

“Yes, I think so, Audra.”

“He’s barely slept this week. Nick was sitting with him all night. He has such terrible dreams.”

“Ya knew?” Willa wondered.

“I hear him at night. I guess I can’t help it. He used to have dreams about the war, and Nick would help him. This is different. I worry that he won’t be able to get past this.”

“Audra, I told Nick, he’s a strong man. He’s always been strong, stubborn…pigheaded actually.” Willa’s laugh was as light and airy as a new spring day. Nick looked back at the young woman.

“Something tells me there’s a story about a young Heath there.”

“Well, yeah I suppose there is. Heath and my brother were inseparable as boys. My mother and Heath’s were friends. Most of the town folk, narrow minded bigots, my mother said, shunned Heath and Leah. I looked up to both Heath and Jake. I tagged along with them when they would let me and when they wouldn’t I followed them. One day in the summer when it was real hot, Jake and Heath figured they’d go swimming in the river. That wasn’t so unusual. It was about the only fun thing Heath ever got to do. That day he was supposed to be working in the livery. He got to leave early. I was about six so the boys must have been ten or so. Anyhow, I followed em down there and hid behind some bushes. They swam in their pants since lots of people often came to the river to swim. There were several other boys in the water. I didn’t think anything of taking off my dress and walking into the water with my petticoat on. I’d done it before, but some of the boys started teasing me about being a girl and wearing my underclothes in public. Jake and Heath were quick to rush to my defense. They came out of the water and got into a fight with several of the boys. Between them, Jake and Heath beat off each one of the four boys. Two to one wasn’t fair odds, but Jake and Heath didn’t care. Fool pigheaded kids.” She laughed again at the memory. “I don’t know who was more black and blue Heath or Jake. But our mothers bragged for months about their sons protecting a lady’s honor and my mother made sure both boys had cookies to take in their lunches to school for at least a month.”

“That’s my little brother,” Nick huffed proudly. “Defending a lady at a tender age is the sign of a good man.” Willa laughed again.

“What’s so funny?” Audra wondered from her dark world.

“Heath told me a few years later, he wouldn’t have dared to let those boys get away with teasing me. His mother would have tanned him good if he hadn’t.” Everyone burst out laughing at this last statement. Audra smiled. No wonder Heath was always a gentleman. His kindness and chivalry had drawn her close to him from the first night he pulled her off the wild street in Stockton, saving her from drunks and out-of-control cattlemen at the same time from a tragic fate, she was certain. Since then her brother might have let her down, but he always tried his hardest.

“It was the same last…last week,” Audra commented. Silence met her remark and she wondered if she hadn’t spoken until Nick’s loud voice reached her, only this time in a quiet empathetic tone.

“How’s that, Little Sister?”

“Heath was angry because David was…well he wasn’t very nice. They’d already beaten him up and he still was trying to defend me.”

“But Heath told me you could have left and you stayed to help him,” Nick observed with a sage voice. Audra blushed. She had not meant to bring the attention to herself.

“Seems to me you both just wanted to help each other,” Willa said. “David was a bitter horrible person, Audra. He was also a professional boxer. With his brothers to help him, you and Heath didn’t have a chance.”

“Heath tried so hard,” Audra informed them. “I feel so bad that he thought…”

“Audra, don’t do that to yourself,” Nick told his little sister. “It won’t help now. You have to think of the positive.”

“But you can tell it hurts him so much,” Audra returned.

“And you, Sweetheart.”

“I suppose.”

“I think you both would give anything for the whole thing not to happen,” Willa wisely. Audra’s soft heart and sharp ears could discern the difference between the confusion and empathy that Willa must be feeling. She leaned over Heath with her hand extended. Willa took it, squeezing the soft fingers lightly. Audra returned the gesture.

“If it hadn’t happened you wouldn’t be with us, Willa. Maybe we should thank our blessings. You’ve been so kind and I’m so glad you are here.” Tears glistened in both the girls’ eyes. Victoria hid a smile of pride at her daughter’s words.

“I reckon I’m mighty glad to be away from David. I owe you folks plenty. I’m only sorry Heath and you had to get hurt in the process. He was a demon and no mistake.”

“I believe God moves in mysterious ways, Willa,” Victoria said with warmth and concern. “Don’t you worry about Heath and Audra. They’re going to be just fine.” From the sound of Victoria’s voice, neither Audra, nor Willa nor even Nick could argue with the woman. Nick shook his head at his mother’s courage while Willa and Audra kept up their talking. Heath slept, amazingly without nightmares. Maybe it was the country air. Maybe it was being in the bosom of his family or maybe, just maybe it was the company of the woman who let him rest against her when he was the most vulnerable.

* * * * * * * *

The crickets were singing in the darkness of the late evening. There was no moon. In the distance wild wolves howled their own chorus with a sudden crescendo of sound that one person was not used. When the cry came, it was soft and blunted. Sitting up in fear in front of the fireplace that still roared giving off a warm glow in the dark, frightened eyes darted around the large unfamiliar room.

“Willa? You all right?” Heath drawled in a concerned tone. The cowboy was sitting in a chair, dressed in his usual tan pants and a blue shirt. His white stocking feet rested near the edge of the fireplace keeping him warm. Willa looked up at her friend in surprise and a little fear.

“Heath? How long ya been settin there?”

“Awhile. I promise, I wasn’t trying to bother you. I have a habit of sitting in front of the fireplace when I can’t sleep. I like to look into the flames and mull things over.”

“Oh, I see,” Willa nodded. She sat on the edge of the cot she had been sleeping on. The family had arrived at the lodge in the late afternoon. In the commotion of getting ready, Jarrod realized Willa didn’t have place to sleep. All the bedrooms were taken, Jarrod in one room, Audra and Victoria in another and Nick and Heath in the last one. Victoria, as usual had thought of that problem ahead of time. She had had a cot packed in the wagon with extra blankets and a pillow. Willa had been situated in the large living room quite contented at first. She hadn’t counted on the wolves or her own nightmare.

“I didn’t wake ya, did I?”

“No. It wasn’t that.” Willa looked nervously around the room again. It was dimly lit only by the fire. Black shadows danced lurking in unlikely corners. “That door is good and locked isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. Why?”

“Oh, nothing,” Willa answered trying to sound calm, but failing miserably. She shuddered as another round of howls reached their ears. Heath’s handsome face broke into a crooked grin.

“Willa, the wolves are probably a mile away at least. Their cry just carries.”

“Don’t matter. It sounds…terrifying.”

“Never thought about it. Part of nature.”

“I wouldn’t mind thinking that way. At least I might get me some sleep.”

“Seems like both of us has got some trouble,” Heath said.

“You too? What’s keeping you up?”

“I probably slept too much on the trip here.”

“Your mother catches you and she’s liable to tan your hide.” Heath’s chuckle was delightful to Willa. He had laughed so seldom in the last week.

“Maybe. It has been a while since I’ve been up on my own and that’s a fact.”

“It’s good to see you up and around.”

“Thank-you, Willa.”

“Heath, you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Suppose not.”

“Man of few words,” the girl giggled. Heath just stared into the fire. His sapphire eyes sparkled blue, than turquoise, then almost green in the firelight, and then back to sapphire. He couldn’t know how attractive Willa found him.

“When you can’t sleep, are you thinking of David?” Heath’s silence lingered in the air between the two.

“I thought so,” she answered herself. “Heath, you can’t give him that kind of power.”

“Don’t ya?” the harsh words came back. “Tell me ya don’t have pictures in your pretty head about his…about…” Heath couldn’t go on. The tears falling down Willa’s face were enough to break his heart. He leaned forward.

“I’m sorry, Willa. I’m truly sorry. I know he was a no good, low down coward. What he did to me is nothing compared to what he put you through.”

“Ya didn’t have a choice,” Willa replied. “I did.”

“No, you didn’t. You were just a little girl when he married you. You had no place to go and no one to really help you. I wish I could have, Willa. For your sake and for Jake’s. He’d of killed David with his bare hands.”

“Ya think?”

“I know. He was a good man.”

“Yes, yes he was.” Now Willa’s eyes went towards the fire. Slowly she returned her gaze to her friend.

“Heath?”

“Yeah?”

“Do ya really think I’m pretty?” Heath would have smiled at that if Willa hadn’t been so serious. Leaning forward again, he put his hand on her cheek. Touching her in the shimmering light, he looked deeply into her brown eyes. The spark of electricity between the pair reached out to pull them together. Heath’s lips on Willa’s were like nothing she had ever felt, magically giving her the most incredible emotions she couldn’t describe. Willa wished more than anything that the moment would repeat itself. Heath sat back in his chair, his gaze locked on her.

“Boy Howdy,” He breathed. “I best be getting to bed.” Before Willa could say another word, Heath was pulling himself up. She put his hand on his arm. He looked down. His fingers drew her face up to look at him.

“You’re the prettiest girl, Willa, and I’m right glad we found each other again. Night.” Willa watched the youngest Barkley son walk slowly towards the room he was sharing with his brother. Outside the wolves howled again, their bark now drowned out by the voice of a man Willa had never thought to see again. Heath, Heath Thomson, the boy she had had a crush on as a little girl. Now he was Heath Barkley. Was she good enough for him? Did he really think she was pretty? She didn’t know the answers to her questions. Still she gave no more thought to the wolves that finally gave up their night song as she fell asleep. Instead her dreams were of a golden cowboy who had, in a way, rescued her from a hell of an existence. She dreamed of the man he was and the man he would be when he was well. She dreamed and dreamed and when she woke, could only hope her dreams would come true.

Chapter 20

The rumbling of distant thunder announced an impending storm hours later. The Barkley family was sitting outside on the porch, enjoying nature around them and quiet talks amongst themselves. Audra took in a deep breath and clutched her mother’s hand at the same time.

“Audra?” Victoria asked her youngest child. Sighing, the girl’s face relaxed.

“The thunder scared me a little,” she admitted ruefully. “I can smell the rain but I didn’t know it was going to storm.”

“Black clouds off to the west, Sis,” Heath commented. “It’s gonna be a gully washer.”

“I hope the roads are passable tomorrow,” Victoria mused. “We’ll have to see in the morning. I don’t want any more injuries in this family for a long time.” Everyone laughed at that.

“I’ll second that motion,” Nick put in. “Heath if you get into one more scrape between now and Christmas, you’re gonna have to rescue yourself. My head is still telling me how foolish I was to get hit twice trying to find you.”

“Now Nick, you know what Jarrod would say, don’t you?” Nick gave his brother a puzzled look. Heath’s grin lit up as his face with his solemn remark,

“You do what gotta do for a brother in need.”

“Brother in need? Yeah, but Heath, you’re always in need.”

“Nicholas,” Victoria scolded hiding her laughter behind a serious look. Heath pretended to be hurt giving his brother a taste of his glaring blue eyes bearing down on him.

“Never mind, Mother. I know how much I’m appreciated around here. Nick will get his…eventually.” Nick shifted in his chair a little uncomfortably as Audra snickered. Victoria put her hand over her mouth to suppress her humor. They all knew Heath gave as good as he got. Nick better watch himself in the next few days because he was certain to find a snake in his bed, perfume in his aftershave or some nonsense that would bring him around. Heath turned to Willa to continue a quiet conversation, pointedly ignoring Nick. A sudden sound down the road made both brothers jump up in a protective fashion while the ladies were alert to the approaching intruder. A rider appeared in the distance, only a shadow in the growing darkness. Thunder and lightening started in earnest. As the man approached a pouring rain started. In haste the women rushed into the house while Heath and Nick ran towards the rider. The two brothers were both surprised to see Jarrod riding with his rain slicker and hat on Jingo, going at quite a clip. Heath figured he was a mite too late to beat the storm pelted down on them in large wet drops.

“Jarrod!” Nick cried. “What are you doing here?”

“Brother Nick, I’ve got some news. Let’s get Jingo settled and I’ll tell you all inside.”

“I’ll take him, Jarrod. Go on in. Mother will be happy to see you,” Heath offered.

“No, Heath, you’re not dressed for the rain. Go on in. I’ll be done in a minute.” The brothers didn’t argue. Jarrod hurried off to the barn with Jingo while Nick and Heath went into the house. They shook off the droplets of rain on their clothes, then went to stand by the roaring fire to dry off.

“Who was it?” Audra asked. Before they could answer the question, Audra tensed again at the sound of the rolling thunder that shook the lodge just the least bit.

“Sis, it’s only thunder,” Heath said. “I’ve never known you to be afraid of thunder before. What’s wrong?” Victoria had been sitting next to the stricken girl. She stood up to let Heath sit beside her. He gathered her in his arms as she cried again, but didn’t say anything. Jarrod was just coming into the house as she collected herself. Heath didn’t get up. He just let his sister relax against him for a while longer.

“Jarrod!” Victoria greeted her son. “What a surprise. We thought you were going to be stuck in San Francisco for another week!”

“I was, but the trial was delayed. Seems my client isn’t the only suspect the police have. They found another man who may be the real culprit in the crime. My client was tickled pink to say the least. So I came home, found you were all still up here and came to share my news.”

“What news, Jarrod,” Victoria asked. Jarrod had taken off his rain slicker and hat. He came over to the fire to warm his hands. Heath whispered to Willa who was standing behind him. She disappeared from the room towards the kitchen at the back of the lodge. Jarrod saw Audra’s tear streaked face.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” he queried, hating to see Audra at any time.

“It’s nothing, Jarrod,” Audra answered while Heath squeezed her hand. “I’m fine.”

“Oh? Well you don’t look fine to me, but since I just got here, I won’t insist.” He leaned over to kiss his sister on the cheek. She smiled a little anxiously as another bolt of thunder rattled through the lodge. Heath kept his hand in Audra’s. Blue eyes locked onto blue eyes in silent communication.

“Do tell your news, Jarrod. We could use some good news,” he said changing the subject tactfully.

“It is good news, Heath, at least I think so. I haven’t been comfortable with the fact that Dr. Abbott’s nephews are still on the loose.”

“You and me both, Jarrod,” Heath answered shuddering. Now Audra squeezed her brother’s hand. Heath looked into her face, realizing for the first time that she was as afraid of being kidnapped again as he was, no matter how irrational the fear. Those men might just be boys but they had hurt the brother and sister before and there was a chance they would do it again, no matter if Dr. Abbott thought they were harmless. It was one reason Heath had insisted leaving the Abbots as fast as possible. He just couldn’t bear being in Hawthorne knowing those boys were on the loose.

“I sent Dr. Abbott a wire asking about the boys. I had thought to discuss this with you all when you got home, but Dr. Abbott saved me the trouble. He contacted me in San Francisco. Seems he talked to his sister again after we left. She was glad that her sons had bowed out of that fiasco at the cabin, but she knew they couldn’t get away with what they had done. She told Abbott she knew where they were. They’ve been arrested and are in jail in Stockton.”

“Thank God,” Audra breathed, her pale face taking on some color. Heath hugged her. Tears came to Victoria’s eyes as she too realized what had frightened her daughter and son. She pulled a chair up in front of her two younger children. Both wore expressions of extreme relief. Nick and Jarrod exchanged glances, both shaken by the revelation in front of them. No one had realized how stressed Audra and Heath were by the fact that two of their kidnappers were still on the loose. Neither had spoken of it.

“Audra, Heath, why, why didn’t you tell us you wanted those two boys arrested? What if their mother hadn’t turned them in?”

“Mother, the decision wasn’t in our hands,” Heath started.

“If you had talked to me, I would have talked to Abbott earlier or we could have done it together, Heath,” Jarrod offered. “You two didn’t have to keep this to yourselves.”

“I don’t think either one of us was really aware of how we felt until just now,” Audra replied. “At least I didn’t.”

“I did, Sis. I just thought the subject was over. Now…now I might be able to sleep at night.”

“Maybe we all will,” Victoria whispered. She took Audra’s hand in hers and put it to her cheek. Audra’s beautiful smile was radiant to the people who loved her. The empty blue eyes even shone in a way with renewed hope that at least two criminals wouldn’t try to hurt her or Heath or anyone she loved again, not for a long time anyway. Jarrod saw Willa come out of the kitchen with a tray of cups, all filled with good hot coffee. She gestured for Jarrod to take one, pointing at a specific one, for both him and Nick. The brothers sipped the coffee as Willa served the rest of the family.

“Willa, what did you put in here,” Jarrod gapped, staring down at the dark brown liquid.

“Brandy,” she answered smartly. “Heath told me to.” Jarrod and Nick both lifted their glasses. Nick’s loud voice filled the room.

“Ah, Heath. This makes up for getting that hit on the head. You’re a smart boy.”

“That doesn’t get you off the hook, Nick,” Heath shot back. Nick laughed while Jarrod looked confused. Willa finished handing out the coffee. The women’s was not laced with brandy, although she had put a short dollop in hers because she liked the taste. There were enough chairs for everyone to sit in a half circle around the fireplace as they had many a night over the last two weeks. Everyone settled down. Nick could still picture Heath reclining on the Settee with Willa sitting at his feet. He originally thought his brother had eyes for the little lady. So far they just seemed to be friends. Willa sang for them on some night’s her harmony bringing delight and relaxation to the family. She was a dear friend now. The family had coaxed her to come back to the ranch with them for a while, but she insisted she would be going back to Hawthorne to work with Dr. Abbott and then maybe going to nursing school. She enjoyed taking care of Heath and Audra and thought she would like that. Victoria generously offered to pay for the schooling if it came to that and Willa hadn’t refused. Heath was almost well now, the bullet wound in his side still a little painful, but much improved and the bruises on his face almost gone. Now with the kidnappers either dead or in jail, only Audra’s blindness kept the family from going on or so Nick thought until he heard his sister and brother conspiring further on the Settee by the fire.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY, HEATH?” No one jumped at Nick’s loud words, but a series of exasperated looks met his tone.

“Well, I didn’t hear him,” Nick apologized.

“I said, if you had been listening, Big Brother, that when we got home, I was going to go for a ride with Audra.”

“Really and just how do you propose to do that, Little Brother?”

“You watch and see,” Audra teased, much to her mother’s surprise.

“Yep, not much gets a Barkley down. She’s going to dance circles around you, Nick.”

“Oh, really?” Nick bellowed. He walked over to his sister. Kissing her lightly on the cheek, he lowered his voice. “I’ll be ready and waiting to take you on Little Sister. You just name the time and place.”

“We’ll go for a ride, you and me,” Audra offered. “If you think you can keep up with me.”

“Keep up with you,” Nick grinned, trying to sound gruff and hide his pride at the same time. Audra just smiled back at him totally at ease.

“Well I for one have no doubt that Audra can keep up with you boys. She’s been doing it all her life.”

“She hasn’t had a problem that I can see, Mrs. Barkley,” Willa put in with a sound of encouragement. Victoria nodded, tears again forming in her eyes, tears of pride and joy. Heath had moved to the table to play a game of cards with Nick and Jarrod. Victoria sat next to Audra with Willa at her feet. The evening would proceed quietly with several outbursts from Nick each time he lost to Heath which was only every time. Victoria read to Audra and Willa from the newest Mark Twain book. The Matriarch tried to keep her concentration on the story, but every once in a while, the gray eyes wondered from the printed pages to the golden haired daughter next to her, their young friend and her three brave sons sitting nearby. With the storm safely outside, the orange blue flames keeping them warm and her heart overflowing with love, Victoria Barkley knew her children were safe once more. When she was finished with the chapter, she raised her lovely face to the heavens above and whispered softly,

“Thank you, Lord, thank you for letting my children come back to me. They’re my blessing and my life. Please keep them safe…” It was a heartfelt prayer and one that would need to be repeated many times over the years…but for now the Barkley family was out of harms way and in the best hands possible, The Father above.

THE END