Coming Back, Part 2

by dcat

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

The days that lay ahead were grueling for Heath. Each member of the family worked with him to regain the use of his arms, since that is what he had first shown that he was able to re-learn. It was during this time that Dr. Baker and the rest of the family discovered a significant change in Heath Barkley. He had become a night owl. Audra had been the first to notice back on the night he first gave her hand a squeeze, but it wasn’t until actually a few days beyond that that Dr. Baker surmised that Heath needed to get some rest during the day, because he had developed this ‘nocturnal’ habit. His agitated and emotional peaks began to vanish when they began to develop his rehabilitation around his new schedule and not around their schedule. Dr. Baker explained that down the road, it would be easy enough to re-adjust him to a normal daily routine, but given his state of mind at the present time, it was best to shift their work around him.

Besides the therapy in his arms, Dr. Baker wanted him to begin to eat real food, rather than continue to live on a liquid diet. A key element in Heath’s therapy was to get him back on his feet as soon as possible and with him not eating and not getting enough nourishment to sustain a full grown man, getting him on his feet would be an insurmountable task. So ‘Operation Food’ began.

Since the baby bottle had worked so well, they decided the next plan of action would be to begin by mashing up his food so that it would be easily swallowed and digested. They had already learned that Heath didn’t like any extreme food temperatures either. Silas prepared the food virtually at room temperature for him. And then the real lessons began.

Victoria, the only one with real ‘mother’ experience was the first to try. She carried in a tray of mashed potatoes and gravy, some applesauce and some mashed bananas.

“Good evening Heath,” she said, with a smile on her face, as she carried the food over to his bed. “We’re going to try some real food tonight for a change. Silas made you up some very good things. Would you like to know what they are?” She asked.

Dr. Baker had encouraged them now to begin to try to engage him in conversation by asking questions whenever they could. Even though he was still unable to talk, he could make some sounds. It was obvious that he wanted to try to talk.

“We have some of your favorites. Do you remember what they are?” She watched his eyes as he looked over to the plate that she held out. “We’ve got mashed potatoes and gravy, not hot at all, and some applesauce and some mashed bananas too.”

He wrinkled up his nose at the mashed bananas and Victoria giggled. “You don’t like bananas huh? Well, we’ll make a note of that, but we’ll see how much of this we can get through first alright?”

She sat down in the chair with the plate and spooned up a bit of the mashed potatoes. Heath must have been famished because he instinctively opened his mouth as she approached with the spoon. She slid it in gently and he slowly closed his lips around it, as he did, she removed the spoon and saw that most of it had ended up exactly where it was supposed to in his mouth. She watched him swirl it around his mouth and swallow it down. It seemed to take forever, but when he finally swallowed it, his lips parted again and he let out just the hint of a laugh and he anxiously awaited the next spoonful.

“That’s wonderful Heath,” Victoria said smiling brightly, as she continued to feed him. “Silas definitely made the right thing for you with the mashed potatoes and gravy.” It took her nearly an hour to help him eat the potatoes and applesauce. He refused to touch the bananas and she made a mental note to tell Silas not to prepare them anymore. Getting him to eat was the name of the game and that meant preparing foods he wanted to eat. They could introduce other foods to him later on in his recovery.

Silas began to get creative with things he could mash up. One of his most unique ‘inventions’ was mashed grapes, since they all knew how much Heath enjoyed them before the accident and surprisingly he still loved them just as much now. Silas would carefully peel them and mash them up very fine. It was a special treat for Heath.

The feeding often times fell on Mother, but she didn’t mind it at all, it gave her extra time to spend with him.

One day, however she had an appointment in Stockton and in her place, Nick volunteered to feed his little brother. At the normal time, Nick carried in the tray full of food.

“Hi there Heath, guess it’s my turn to do the honors tonight. Mother’s in Stockton at the annual church bazaar. Audra’s with her. So that leaves you and me boy and this plate of warm, but not hot food. Just the way you like it!”

Nick took the napkin and carefully placed it around Heath’s neck and he spun the chair around and grabbed the plate of food and the spoon. “Ok, here we go, we’ll just take this nice and easy ok. I haven’t done this for a long time, probably since Gene was a baby, but it’s like riding a horse right, you never forget. Ok, then, open up.”

Heath wouldn’t open his mouth.

Nick pulled the spoon back and took a closer look at the food. He sniffed it, it smelled ok to him, he looked at it, and he hadn’t put an overabundant portion on it. He turned the spoon around and attempted to get Heath to eat it again. Same result. Heath wouldn’t open his mouth.

“Come on boy, you’ve had this all before,” Nick began. “I know Silas has cooked all this up for and you’ve eaten it for days now.” He picked up the plate and held it so that Heath could see what was on it. “We have some carrots, some potatoes, some beets and some mashed up peaches, now what’s wrong with any of that?”

Heath just wrinkled his nose.

Nick put the spoonful of food in his own mouth and tasted it. “Look it tastes fine, mmmmm, it’s not too hot or too cold, it’s good for you. Now come on.” Nick rubbed his stomach. “It’ll make you strong.” He spooned up another bite size portion and tried it again.

Heath turned his head away.

“Oh for crying out loud, you’ve been doing fine for days doing this. What is it Heath? Is it me? I told you Mother and Audra are in Stockton tonight. There not here to do this and you have to eat something. Mother’ll kill me if you don’t eat. Do it for me ok? Come on now, just a spoonful or two ok? I know you’re hungry. Just try it for your old brother Nick.”

Nick made another attempt and this time Heath raised up his right arm and blocked the offending spoonful from getting any closer. As he blocked it, the contents of it ended up back on Nick’s face.

“Ok, now that’s it,” he said with a bit of anger in his voice. He took his shirtsleeve and wiped off some of the spattered food from his face. “I’ve got a good mind to just leave it sit here and let you feed yourself,” he said slowing down as he got to the word yourself. “Hey, is that it Heath? You want to feed yourself don’t you? Well of course you do,” he said loudly and happily. “I don’t blame you at all, I know just how you feel.” Nick stood up and repositioned his chair and the plate of food, so that he was sitting in the same direction as Heath was. That way he could help him along. “Ok, here we go, let’s give this a try now.”

Nick carefully helped Heath pick up his right hand and fitted the spoon between his fingers. Step by step, Nick helped him through the whole process, since his arm still hadn’t regained full dexterity. Heath eyes shown with determination as he got the first spoonful to his waiting lips. As he did, he closed his lips around it and slid the spoon out. It was clean. He let the spoon fall from his hand while he savored the mashed carrots and made a ‘mmmm’ sound of his own. Nick laughed and grasped his shoulder in happiness to let him know he had done it. “That’s it little brother, tomorrow we’ll try steak,” he joked.

Heath shakily reached down for the spoon and tried it again with a large assist from Nick, and again, he did it.

Two hours later the plate was clean, but there was food spattered up and down the front of Heath, as well as on Nick from where Heath had splattered him.

Jarrod came into the room and said, “What the devil is taking so long Nick?” As he said it, he saw Heath was jubilantly polishing off the last mouthful, spoon in hand. “Well, I’ll be darned, am I really seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

“That’s right,” said Nick, “he did it all by himself.”

“I can tell,” Jarrod said, noticing the mess. “Do you really think he was ready for this Nick?”

“It’s the only way he would eat Jarrod. And isn’t it how everyone learns?” Nick offered.

“Not everyone Nick, only when they take lessons from you,” Jarrod said jokingly, referring to the mess and even Heath acknowledged the humor in what Jarrod had said.

* * * * * * * * * *

Little by little they began to mash up less and less of his food and replace it with tiny bite size morsels, that Heath could easily chew up. The dexterity in his right arm continued to progress along. His hand and finger strength still needed work. Every day he would begin to feed himself when his tray of food was brought to him, but he’d tire out from it before he could finish and so often times members of the family still had to assist him. Jarrod suggested they also try to teach him to use his left hand to eat with, that way he’d strengthen it and be able to accomplish the eating task by himself, utilizing and rehabilitating both arms. Dr. Baker thought it was a great idea, one which they immediately put into practice.

The next obstacle was communication. He was making sounds, but he out and out refused to try to speak. Each of them took turns with him, reading books, showing him pictures and sounding out words for him, hoping that he’d begin to repeat but he seemed to be uninterested and unwilling to even try.

Dr. Baker decided to have a family meeting to discuss what their next plan of action would be. He had early on, acknowledged to them that he didn’t have all the answers when it came to these types of injuries. He relied on the family to share with him as many details about the person as they could. Knowing a complete history could, in Paul Baker’s mind, only help the patient improve.

“I’m concerned that he basically refuses to attempt communication,” Dr. Baker began as the family gathered in the sitting room. “Generally once these patients begin to eat, communication comes rather easily. It’s almost as if it’s a natural progression for them. I’ve seen it many times. Heath is a bit confusing to me right now. But let’s see if we can overcome it together.”

“Well Doc, our brother’s not known for talking much anyway,” Nick interjected.

The doctor acknowledged Nick’s comment but held up his hand and added, “but he could converse before. He didn’t just speak in grunts and sounds, am I correct.”

Nick smiled and nodded. “Maybe he just don’t want to talk, maybe he’s got nothing to say. It wouldn’t be the first time. I think I had to pound out a few words out of him then.”

“Oh for heaven sake Nick, this is serious,” Audra chastised him.

“I’m sorry Audra, I guess I’m just as frustrated as Heath is sometimes,” Nick said regretfully.

“Paul,” Victoria began, “this is such an uphill battle for all of us, and not to diminish the importance of Heath’s recovery, but this is really taking a toll on all of us. How do other families handle this?”

Paul Baker walked to the fireplace and turned so that he could face them all, with a grin he said, “Not nearly as well as you all have been handling it. You certainly are an amazing family. Heath is very lucky to have all of you. Truthfully Victoria, many of these types of patients wind up in institutions. And it’s not a place for the faint of heart. When Gene came to see me, and told me of the accident and about his family and that all of you wanted to help Heath recover, well, you see, that drew me to come here all the more. This is a remarkable case. Heath has made unbelievable progress. In an institution right now, he could very well have reverted back to an unconscious state, due to lack of stimuli. You don’t know how important you have been. But I do! I think this will go down as one of the finest examples of sustained, immediate and exhaustive care that any specialist in this field will be drawn to. The results are amazing. And certainly all of your work with Heath has been documented and will be of so much value to future cases. So to answer your question, I unfortunately can’t answer it. You are one of a kind right at the moment.”

“So we just keep on going?” Jarrod asked.

“Yes, Jarrod, we do,” Paul replied. “And so how do we go about with this speech therapy? Does anyone have any ideas?”

“I imagine it’s like the swallowing and eating,” Gene chimed in, “we need to break it down to the basic level and think it through.”

“Ok, let’s hear it,” Paul sat down and they started to toss out ideas.

They came to the conclusion that the approach they were using to teach him with was entirely correct. However, they also decided that they’d use a reward system with him. Heath had developed a very interesting diet. He had a certain list of foods he really liked a lot and a list of foods that he would merely eat, just in order to have food in his stomach. He wrinkled up his face at many things. Going forward, he’d have to work at his speech in order to be rewarded with food he really liked a lot, otherwise he’d merely get things he would begrudgingly eat.

The only one who was opposed to this method was Victoria. She remembered Heath when he first arrived at the ranch. She remembered him over filling his hat with fruit and those first few weeks when he ate everything in sight. He wasn’t just being a glutton, he had been genuinely hungry. It had broken her heart at the time to think that he had often times gone hungry and without food for days, from the time when he was just a little boy. She thought of her own children and how Tom had provided so much for them throughout all their lives. Food had never been an issue. They always had their fill, and yet, here was Tom’s son, who had not had the same basic necessity. She made a silent vow when he first arrived that he would never again be hungry and now this therapy he needed to have so badly would prove to destroy that silent vow. She was outvoted and for now and she’d go along with it, to see if it would spark him along in his speech. The minute she felt it didn’t, she told them all she would see to it personally that he would be able to eat till his heart and belly would be content.

Paul met Nick outside having a cigar, shortly after that conversation. “Evening Nick.”

“Hiya Doc,” Nick said, turning toward him, “Would you like a cigar?”

“No thanks, never developed a taste for them.”

“That’s too bad, every now and again, a man deserves a good smoke,” Nick replied.

Paul chuckled, “Heath smokes too?” He was again, looking for any type of history about Heath that might aid his recovery. Any bits of knowledge, though insignificant, might help at some point.

“Yeah, but most of the time he’s content to have those tiny, roll your own, things. He does cut loose now and again and have one of these,” he said, holding out the burning item, “usually when Jarrod or I give him one of ours. I think he’s just too cheap to spend the money and buy his own.”

They stood in silence for a moment.

“Your mother, she’s quite a lady. I admire her for taking a stand.”

Now it was Nick’s turn to laugh. “It’s taken you this long to figure that out?”

“No, not exactly, it just surprises me that she has such strong feelings for a man that’s, well, that’s not even her own son.”

“Why does that surprise you Paul?” Victoria had come out and joined them.

Nick cleared his throat. He knew Paul was in for some choice words now.

“It’s just that, well, he’s” Paul tried to find a delicate way to say what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the right words.

“He’s a bastard?” Nick added, “Is that the word you’re looking for Paul?” Paul tried to shake his head no, that’s not what he meant, but Nick continued to speak, he finished the sentence for Paul and then looking at his mother he said, “I’m sorry Mother.”

She gave him a tiny hint of a smile. “See Paul, we’ve all heard it before, every since Heath came to us. We’ve heard all the whispers, and seen the all finger pointing. And not too many people have had the courage to say the word you just heard my son utter.”

“The only person I ever heard say it was Heath,” Nick was quick to add. “Most folks just like to insinuate it in some way. A few tried to hurt him physically over it, including me.

Paul shook his head, “I don’t get it then.” Now he wanted to know how Victoria could just take him into her heart and into her home.

“I learned the hard way that that man up there is my brother. He’d lay down his life for me. He has time and time again. I can trust him with anything. And I’d do the same for him,” Nick explained. “And you’re right about this wonderful woman here, she is quite a lady, because while I was looking for any reason to tear him apart limb from limb and send him back wherever he came from, she only did one thing. She loved him like he was her own.”

“Paul,” Victoria started looking him right in the eye, “I loved his father with everything I had, that’s why I can love him like he’s my own son. That over rode any kind of other feeling or thought I might have had. It opened my heart right from the start.”

Paul took a few steps away from both of them and turned his back to them too.

“Paul, we didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Victoria said, sensing his remorse for broaching the topic.

When he turned back to them, his eyes had welled up with tears. “I just meant, well, my own mother died when I was just a baby. My father, he remarried and they had three more children that were their own. She always made me feel like an outsider. Then my father died and it got even worse. I left home when I was 16, worked my way through college and been on my own ever since. I’ve never once gone back home. It just surprises me that you overcame that.” He paused, “I didn’t mean to suggest that what you did was wrong. It’s all the way right. I just didn’t know that existed. I’ve never seen it before.” He started to go inside the house. “I meant what I said before, this family is one of a kind.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The very next morning, a quiet Paul Baker sat eating his breakfast in the dining room, when Victoria entered. She hadn’t seen him since he had departed back into the house the night before rather than remain in hers and Nick’s company.

“Paul,” she began, “I want to apologize for last night.”

He stopped her right away, “There’s no need to explain Victoria, we all jumped to some conclusions.”

“Well, it was wrong of Nick and I just to assume. And I want to apologize for that. We both were out of line.”

“It’s alright, I can only imagine what its been like for your family this whole time. All the things you’ve had to deal with and that you’ve been put through. I bet it was almost as equally tough on you all as it was on Heath. And now with Heath’s accident, things have gotten even tougher for you.”

“That’s why it’s so very important to draw strength from your family Paul. When you have people to lean on and who you can rely on, you’re so much stronger.” She paused before she asked him her next question. “Are you at all close to any of your siblings?”

“My youngest sister actually, yes, we still write quite often. She’s very much like your children in that she doesn’t see the fractions, the half’s, I am simply her brother. A bit of hero worship I think. A long time ago, I rescued her from falling out of a tree. Children don’t often forget those types of things.”

Victoria smiled at him. “When was the last time you saw you her?

“It’s been about six years, when I left Chicago, she was eleven, pig tails and freckles, I can’t even imagine what she looks like these days,” Paul said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

“She hasn’t sent a picture?”

“No, although I’ve sent her money back for the family, as well as for herself, she hasn’t taken my suggestions to have one taken.”

“Perhaps then you should go see her in person?” Victoria suggested. “The love of a family is important, no matter how large or small it is.”

“You know, you’re probably right, and once we get Heath through all this, I think I will take a train back there. You’ve convinced me of the importance of it. She wants to be a teacher,” he said now with hope in his voice. “I think she’ll make a great one, she has the foundation for it already.”

“You’re absolutely right about that Paul.”

Gene entered the dining room carrying a food tray. “So far the plan isn’t working Paul,” he said, setting the tray on the table. It was Heath’s food. I’ve been up there for over an hour and he just won’t even try. So then I tried the reward system with the food. He’s avoiding eggs at all cost. I tried some oatmeal, and he took a few spoonfuls of it, but that was about it. This food is cold by now, should I have Silas make up another tray and try again?”

“No Gene,” Paul started, “we’ll wait till his next mealtime and try it again. I want to keep him on this routine, I think we’re bound to make it work. He won’t starve.” And looking toward Victoria, “I know it’s hard to believe and I understand your reluctance to let us try this, but we have to give it more than one meals worth try.”

“I understand Paul,” she said. “Gene would you take the tray into the kitchen?”

“Sure Mother,” Gene said as he left with the tray.

“It really will work,” Paul said again.

“You don’t have to sell me Paul, we’ve seen his progress already. I’m willing to give it more time.”

Eugene went back up mid afternoon to try again. On the tray he brought a mixture of foods that Heath both liked and tolerated. He also came armed with reading books. The minute the door opened, Heath turned his head away, and not wanting to partake in the activity his younger brother was offering.

“Hey there Heath, it’s time for the afternoon work session. We can’t just have you lazing about anymore. Besides you must be ready for some work. You’ve always been a go-getter, since we’ve known ya.”

Heath made a mumbling noise and continued to look away.

Gene’s youthful optimism set in. “You can’t fool me like that, and I’m not going away either. The way I see it you must be hungry, because you didn’t get to eat much for breakfast, so let’s get to this.” Gene pulled over the chair and set down the tray of food on the bed. “Ok, which book should we start with this time?” He held out two books for Heath to see, but he wouldn’t turn to look at them. “I guess I’ll just pick one out then since you don’t want to.” He set one of the books down and began to open the other and he started to read from it out loud. Heath all but ignored him and stared at the far wall.

“Brother Heath, you are sure a stubborn man,” Gene said, after about five minutes of reading. “Are you getting hungry yet?”

Heath turned his head back and nodded to Gene that he was. Gene smiled at him and said, “I knew you had to be. Let’s start reading then and maybe we’ll see what’s on the food tray alright?”

Heath shook his head vehemently and started to point toward the food tray. Gene conveniently slid it further out of his reach. “Nope, we have to do this first Heath.”

“Nnnnn,” Heath tried to say. The sound was shaky and gravely.

“I guess a ‘nnnn’ is better than just shaking your head, but how about trying to say it? Can you say no?” Gene challenged him.

That made Heath mad and he went back to shaking his head and he turned it away as much as he could, hoping that his younger brother would take a hint and leave him alone.

“Tell you what,” Gene said, “we’ll give you some of this sandwich for trying.” Gene picked up the sandwich off of the tray and gently tore off a bite of it for Heath.

Heath started to turn his head back and he held out his hand. Gene placed the bite size portion in it and Heath took it and carefully ate it down. He reached out his hand for another bite.

“Another bite is going to require another try,” Gene said, holding out the food, just out of his reach. Gene could tell that Heath was getting mad now. The trick would be to see who could outlast whom. And try as hard as he could, Gene was no match for his older brother. After several hours of trying, he gave up again. Heath wasn’t about to give in to this younger brother of his.

This same scenario went on for several days. Heath had eaten very little, and didn’t seem to get beyond the ‘nnnnn’ sound.

Finally, one afternoon, Mother went in just to talk with him. Nick, Jarrod and Eugene had positioned his bed in such a way that he could now look out the window. She walked over to him and saw that he was watching a bird build a nest in nearby tree.

“Heath Barkley, I knew you were stubborn a long time ago, but you’ve really taken it to a whole new level,” she began. He looked at her for a moment and then he turned his attention back to the bird outside. “We’re not asking you to do something that is going to hurt you. We just want you to talk to us. We miss hearing your voice. We don’t want you to starve, we want you to eat. I know you understand what I’m saying,” she said frustrated herself.

He didn’t acknowledge her. She let out a sigh and sat down on the bed beside him and wondered how they were ever going to get through to him. She started to watch the bird with him. Flying in to and fro, with bits of twig and other materials to build a suitable home for her upcoming family. They sat like that for hours, not saying anything, not communicating in any way whatsoever. As evening approached, the nest had very slowly begun to take shape. The bird still had much work to do. Tomorrow, she’d start all over again. Victoria turned toward Heath and began to talk to him. “I think I finally get what you’re trying to say. This is going to take time, it’s not going to happen overnight. Just like that bird. You have to pick and choose the materials you want to work with and you have to work at your own pace. You know what’s best for you, is that right? Is that what you’ve been trying to tell me? To tell all of us?”

Heath gave her a little nod and a smile. “Your silence has always spoken louder than your words Heath Barkley. Some day we’ll all understand that.” She reached over and gave him a little kiss on his forehead. “Jarrod will be up soon with your dinner.”

As she came into the kitchen, Victoria relayed the whole incident to Jarrod, who still insisted that he try the reward method one more time during the coming evening’s dinner. He listened to the story of the bird and the bird nest and didn’t comment too much at first about what she had concluded. They had come so far with Heath’s recovery though that he didn’t want to just revert back to where they had been. He wanted to try the reward method once again. She agreed to go along with it one more time. “Mother, you know he’s got the Barkley family stubborn streak going through him. I think Paul is right, we need to continue to push him.”

“Then why would he convince me to take it slow?”

“You know, he’s got you fooled pretty doggone well Mother. I’ll say one thing for him, he may be quiet, but he certainly is one smart fellow.”

Victoria gave him a puzzled look, “Jarrod, what on earth are you talking about?”

“Mother, we all did the same thing when we were learning. Think back to when we were little. It’s so much easier to, well, to take the easy way out. To see how much we could get away with. It’s human nature. And he’s not starving, he’s getting enough food, even Dr. Merar agrees.”

“But he’s not a child Jarrod.”

“No, but he’s learning all over again. I don’t see it as being different. Just trust us. Trust that it will work.”

“Jarrod, you know how I feel, but ok, I’ll let you try one more time. I hope it works.”

“It will Mother, it will.” Jarrod took the tray and headed up the stairs.

“Evening Heath,” Jarrod gave his blonde brother a smile and proceeded over to the chair next to the bed. “We’ve got some reading material and some dinner. Let’s try the reading material first, shall we?”

Heath made his usual grumbling sound and pointed to the food.

“Nope, first we work, then we eat, that’s the rule.” Jarrod picked up the book and opened it up and started to read from it and showed the corresponding pictures to Heath. “A is for apple, the apple is red, apples are from trees. Can you see the apple? Point to the apple Heath” Heath just sat there and stared at the book. “B is for boy, the boy is fast. See the boy run. Where is the boy Heath?” Jarrod kept reading. “C is for cat. The cat likes to purr. Cats are soft. Show me the cat Heath.”

Heath looked at Jarrod and then glared at the waiting tray of food. He refused to look back at Jarrod or the book. Jarrod could see through him immediately. “Well now, am I boring you? You know the drill, all you have to do is start talking and then I’ll let you start eating.” Heath turned his gaze back on his brother. “You may have Mother fooled with your little bird nest out there, but not me. I’ve seen all these little acts performed by Nick, Audra and Eugene, and of course I performed some of them myself in my day. You’re not starving little brother, we won’t let that happen, but you know that. You’re enjoying this little vacation aren’t you?” By now, Heath turned his head away from him completely. Jarrod decided to keep reading. “D is for dog. The dog chases the cat. Dogs are fun. E is for egg. We cook with eggs. Eggs taste good.” Heath took his hand and pushed the book away, knocking it to the ground. Now, Heath looked right at his older brother with his own determination. Jarrod gave Heath a grin and went to pick up the book off the floor. As he did, Heath kicked the food tray over with his feet and spilled it all over the bed, the floor and some of it even spattered on Jarrod. The lawyer simply kept his cool and removed the tray and scraped off some of the food from the bed, floor and himself. “You know what Heath, if you want to be treated like a baby, by heaven, that’s how we’ll treat you. You’re going to sit in that mess till were through here,” Jarrod sounded more like a father than a brother. “Now, where were we? Up to the F’s. F is for fire. The fire is hot. Do not touch fire.” Heath again took his hand and pushed the book out of Jarrod’s hands and onto the floor.

Jarrod reached down to retrieve it and as he did, Heath began to speak, “Fffffff ooooddddah.”

Jarrod sat back up in the chair and relaxed and watched his brother struggle for the right sound. His voice hoarse and weak from lack of use, but he was trying “Say it again Heath, slowly.”

“Ffffff foo-oorrre ffffoooodah,” he managed to choke out.

“That’s it, you’ve got it. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Jarrod had a wide grin for his brother, who now appeared to want to say more. “What is it Heath? Do you want to try it again?” Jarrod repeated, “F is for food.”

Heath took a deep breath and clearly spoke the word, “No.”

“Do you want to try a different word?” Jarrod went to pick up the book, but Heath’s arm grabbed his and stopped him. “Heath, you’ve got to try to say it, I’ll understand, just try.”

“Ppppppp fooo-rrre Paaaapppeee,” he cried out.

Jarrod let out a laugh. “By golly you’re absolutely right about that, P is for Pappy. I bet I sound just like him, don’t ya think?” Jarrod nodded and smiled, giving his brother a pat on the back. “Pretty soon you’ll be saying so much, we’ll have to beg you to stop. And right now, F is for food and tonight, little brother, you’re going to have a meal fit for a king. All your favorites. Pappy promises.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jarrod was right, once they got Heath started talking, he didn’t want to stop. His speech was slow and sometimes hard to understand, but the mere fact that he was communicating now was a major hurdle in his recovery. Paul Baker reminded them that hard days still lay ahead. While Heath continued his progress in a way that could be quantified and demonstrated, other obstacles and problems that couldn’t be seen clearly would continue to surface.

They made their peace with it but also decided to enjoy the time at hand. They were ecstatic to have Heath back and they would do everything they could to show him that.

One morning, Jarrod and Nick took Paul Baker into town. It had been awhile since they had taken the short ride into Stockton, but with his recovery moving along so well, they decided a change of pace would be in order for them. Audra and Victoria stayed at home with him.

“Well, what should we do first? Get a drink?” Nick asked.

“At nine in the morning Nick?” Jarrod questioned him with a laugh.

“Well what else is there to do in town?” Nick asked.

“I’m sure your sister would give you a few suggestions,” Paul added, hinting at one of Audra’s favorite pastimes.

“You mean like shopping?” Nick asked.

“That’s exactly what I mean, and speaking of sisters, I want to go pick up something for mine and mail it back to Chicago.”

“You know what, that sounds like a terrific idea, I think I’ll pick up something for my sister too,” Jarrod added playfully, just to annoy Nick.

Nick scowled up his face. “Oh you two are something else, you know that?” He paused, “I suppose I’ll just have to go along and get something for Mother as well then.”

“Don’t let us force you Nick,” Paul teased.

“Oh sure and have the two of you come in armed with gifts and not having Mother get anything. No sir, I don’t want to tangle with any of that. Let’s just make this quick,” Nick explained. “I really don’t want to be caught in a women’s store for too long.”

So off the three of them went to the ‘women’s store’ in search of gifts for the special women in their life. As they walked over they bumped into Emily, the girl that Heath had been dating. Emily had been out on a few occasions to the ranch to see how Heath was doing, but it had been while he was still unconscious.

“Hi Jarrod, Hi Nick, how is Heath doing?”

“He’s coming right along Emily. We haven’t seen you in quite awhile,” Jarrod said. “You should stop out.”

“I’ve been in Sacramento with my father. I’ve been meaning to send a telegram or at the very least send a note out to your family. We just got back yesterday.”

“I heard that Heath is out of the coma now?” she asked apprehensively. It had frightened her when she had seen him lying there, so still and unmoving, she’d been afraid to return to the ranch to see him.

“Yep, he is, he’s doing better than was expected,” Nick added. “I’m sure he’d love to see you Emily.”

Jarrod remembered his manners, “I’m sorry, Emily Matthews, this is Dr. Paul Baker, Heath’s doctor from San Francisco. Paul this is Emily Matthews, a god friend of Heath and of the family as well.”

“Senator Matthews daughter?” Paul said with a smile, taking her hand in his. “I didn’t realize the Senator was from Stockton.

“Yes, born and raised, right down the street as a matter of fact,” Emily said proudly, glad the subject was being shifted away from Heath.

“It is indeed my pleasure,” Paul said, placing an elegant kiss on her hand.

Emily smiled in return. “My pleasure as well. I didn’t know Heath had another doctor,” she asked open-endedly, more interested in the doctor than the doctor’s patient.

“Paul is a specialist in the kind of injury that Heath had,” Jarrod explained.

“It’s certainly good to have you in Stockton Doctor,” she said, eyeing up the young doctor.

“Perhaps, if I’m not being too forward, Miss Matthews, would you care to have lunch with us at the hotel? Say about eleven?” Paul Baker was no stranger to the playful affections of a young girl. He knew he was a handsome man and could have his choice of any. Emily Matthews fit that match to a T.

Jarrod and Nick looked at each other then courteously said, “Sure, of course, please join us.”

“I would love to, thank you for asking me,” Emily was quick to answer.

“If you’ll excuse us, Emily,” Jarrod politely said.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m holding you gentlemen up. I’ll see you at lunch,” and with that she continued on down the street.

“Beautiful woman!” Paul said to the brothers as they headed inside the store. “I can see why Heath is attracted to her. Had they dated long?”

“On and off for several months. She travels a great deal with her father, as you heard,” Jarrod explained.

“I’ve never heard any of you mention her?” Paul added.

“Well, we’ve been a bit pre-occupied Doctor,” Jarrod said with a smile.

“But if he and Emily are close, it could be an aid in his recovery.”

“Do you think he’ll remember her Doc?” Nick asked.

“That’s hard to say. I’ve seen people remember things from their childhood and not remember what they had just eaten, and vice versa.”

“I know, I know, it’s different with everyone,” Nick finished his sentence for him.

“With Brother Nick things do finally kick in,” Jarrod joked.

“That’s why research and study is so important. Any similarities or differences, no matter how contrite they may seem to be, could be the difference between a successful recovery and one that isn’t.”

“Then just how do we know if what we’re doing is the right thing?” Nick continued.

“Time, Nick, that will tell us,” Paul explained.

“It doesn’t seem fair,” Nick answered.

“It’s not. But I look at it this way, some day, in the not too distant future, by going through this now, we won’t have to say that the same thing. We’ll have answers and we’ll be able to help people,” Paul said with passion.

Nick nodded his head in agreement.

“Kinda makes you wish you were a doctor, doesn’t it Nick?” Jarrod asked.

“Not on your life. I’ll settle for rancher any day,” he teased back.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (I liked using this line so much in a previous fic…I decided to pull it out and have at it again.)

Heath had seen Jarrod and Nick ride out with Paul. Over the past several weeks he had seen different people ride out one by one, eventually returning. Seeing the three of them leave together though sent his injured mind into a small frenzy. He managed to pull himself up to a very upright sitting position in the bed, with a huge amount of effort, the lower half of his body, still very slow to recover. He sat and watched, tense and fearful of their departure.

He called out to his sister. “Awwwdwa, Awwwdwaaaa,” several times repeating her name.

She came in to the room almost upon hearing her name the first time. “What is it Heath?”

He pointed to the window and said, “Woooohaaaair?”

Audra walked over to the window to see what he was pointing to. She didn’t see anything.

He repeated it again, “woooohaaaaaairrr?”

“Heath, I don’t know what you’re asking about. Where what?”

He still had difficulty in recalling the words he wanted to say. In his mind he knew them and even thought he was clearly expressing himself to others, but in reality, he still struggled with it.

Audra in the meantime looked around the area he could see from where he sat. She noticed there weren’t any horses in the corral, as there usually were. “Do you want to know where the horses are?” she asked, hoping to help him find the words he wanted to say.

He shook his head no. She could see the frustration grow in his face as he let out an angry sigh.

Victoria had heard him calling out and now had come up to see what he needed.

“I heard Heath calling, is everything ok?” she asked Audra.

“Mother, he’s asking where something is, but I’m not sure what he’s looking for.”

Victoria walked over to his bedside. “Just relax Heath, you’ll get it. Remember what Paul said, take it slowly.” She ran her fingers through his hair to help him calm down.

He closed his eyes and pointed outside the window again, “Woooohaaaaiiirrrr mmmmmiiinnnnn?”

“Where are the men?” Audra asked with a smile.

He nodded and said, “eeeeeeyyyyyysssssss, woooooooohaaaaaaaaaaairrrr mmmmmiiiinnnn?”

“The men are working dear, “ Victoria answered, “I think they’re out on the north range this morning. They’ll be back by lunchtime.”

There was some miscommunication going on. Heath meant to ask where his brothers were and Victoria and Audra thought he meant the ranch hands. Not realizing it, however, they left the conversation as it was. For now, they all were content with the answer.

Audra brought in some books for Heath to read and for the remainder of the morning, he was satisfied to read the words out loud as Audra listened and explained the meaning to him. He continued to sneak peeks out the window, watching for his brothers to return.

Lunchtime came and went and as the afternoon progressed, Heath became more agitated and irritable. He was now constantly staring out the window and Audra noticed it right away. Looking down and seeing the men she said to him, “See Heath, the men came back. Can you see them down there.”

Heath looked and searched but didn’t see his brothers anywhere. “No,” he said to her.

“No what Heath?”

“No, mmmmiiiiinnnn,” he said.

“Yes, they’re right out there, the men are outside.”

“Nooo, woooooohaaiiiiiir miiinnnn?” he repeated, his anger building.

Audra walked over and pointed toward the ranch hands, guiding his face toward them. “See Heath, the men are right there.”

Frustrated, he took the book he had been reading from and threw it across the room, narrowly missing hitting Audra. It scared Audra and she went out of the room to call mother.

“Mother, something is really upsetting him. He’s asking where the men are again and I showed him right where they were, but he just doesn’t seem to understand. He just through a book at me.”

“That doesn’t sound like Heath,” Victoria said, following Audra back up the stairs.

When she left the room, Heath decided he would try to find Nick and Jarrod himself. Using all the strength he could muster, he dragged and pulled his legs over to the side of the bed. In his own head, he was far more capable than he really was. He thought he was just like everyone else, but he didn’t understand the full scope of his own recovery.

Resting for a moment, and regaining some strength, he tried to rise off the bed and take some steps. He immediately fell like a ton of dead weight onto the bedroom floor.

Victoria and Audra heard the crash right away and came running back into the room and saw him lying on the floor, dazed and bleeding profusely from a deep gash on his forehead.

“Heath, oh my God, Heath, what happened?” Mother cried out. Silas came running into the room after hearing the commotion too. “Silas, help us get him back to bed,” she said, as the three of them lifted up his heavy, dead weight body back onto the bed. Blood from the head wound poured out like wine at a wedding, dripping down his face and into his eyes, where it mixed with his tears of anger, frustration and sadness. He openly began to cry. “It’s ok Heath, you’re alright. Shhh! We’ll get you fixed up right away.” She turned toward Silas and asked, “Silas bring in some bandages and hurry. Audra, ride into town and find the boys and Doctor Merar and hurry.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Mother applied pressure to the gushing wound, trying to stop it from bleeding, but she knew from the amount of blood that was pouring out that he’d have to have Doctor Merar stitch him up. He continued to cry, upset with being unable to convey his questions and thoughts to any of them, in a way he thought he could. He felt trapped and he kept trying to push Victoria away as she attempted to help and comfort him. He didn’t want the comfort at the moment, he wanted to speak for himself, to be his own person. His cries combined with screams of rage and wrath. Heath Barkley was frustrated beyond his own capacity. His body began to shake from the state of despair he was in. Victoria continued to try to hold him tightly in her own loving arms, she herself, hating seeing him in this imprisoned state he was in, but at the moment, not knowing how else to help him, except to show him as much of her love and care as she could.

“Go ahead Heath, let it out, let out all of what you’re feeling. I do understand that,” she tried to sooth him.

Silas stood near the doorway, “Mrs. Barkley, is there anything I can do to help you or Mr. Heath?”

“Yes Silas, this bandage is soaked clear through, can you bring several more, it will probably be another 40 to 50 minutes before the doctor will be here to sew up this wound, I’m afraid and it doesn’t seem to want to stop bleeding. All his thrashing about isn’t helping either.”

“Yes ma’am, right away,” the kindly man went to bring in more bandages.

“Mmmmmiiiiiiiiiiinnnn,” Heath said again, in a softer tone.

“Heath, I just don’t know who you want. Do you want the hands to come up here and visit with you?”

“Noooo,” he said agonizingly, rocking in her arms. His fists knotted tightly as he struggled with his own mind. She saw and felt him tense up.

“Darling, you’re not strong enough to go outside yet and work with them. But you’re getting stronger every day. It will happen soon.”

He closed his eyes in frustration and let his head drop to his shoulders. He couldn’t make her understand. “Mmmiinn,” he said sadly.

“Just rest, settle down now Heath, we’ll have Doctor Merar take care of this cut and then we’ll figure out what you’re trying to tell us. I promise we will,” she kept repeating it over and over again.

As the minutes ticked by, he finally succumbed to sleep, the exhaustion of attempting to stand on his own, the frustration of communication and the heavy loss of blood allowed him to rest in his mother’s loving arms.

Dr. Merar arrived and immediately went up to see about Heath’s injury. He quickly stitched up the wound and as he was bandaging up his head, Heath began to awaken. His eyes scanned the room for any signs of his brothers. Only Dr. Merar and Victoria were there. Dr. Merar noticed his agitation beginning to increase and after hearing Victoria tell him about the episode, he decided to give Heath a mild narcotic to allow him to rest and recover from his injury. Heath slowly drank down the narcotic laced water and slowly drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

“He should sleep for a few hours, try not to disturb him. I’ll stop by later tonight and see how he’s doing. If he remains in this state, we may have to give him another dose of this,” Howard told Victoria. They began to exit his room. “And you don’t understand what brought it on?” he asked her.

“No, he’s been asking about the ranch hands all day. Audra and I just couldn’t understand what he was trying to say.

“Maybe Paul will have some answers when he gets here. Don’t worry about the cut, forehead gashes are the worst. They bleed a lot and for a long time, it’s not too serious though.”

“Thank you for coming out so quickly Howard,” she said.

“Audra went on ahead looking for Jarrod, Nick and Paul. I think they were having lunch in the Hotel with Emily Matthews,” Howard started, “I imagine they’ll be right along behind me.”

“I’m sure she’ll find them. And hopefully Paul will have some ideas.” Her own emotions were starting to surface, tears began to well up in her eyes. Seeing Heath in such a struggle was particularly hard on her.

Howard took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “He’s very good Victoria. I trust him implicitly. And I’ve heard nothing but praise from other colleagues of mine as well. It’s good to have him here in Stockton.”

“I know, I’m just concerned for Heath.”

“He’s in exceptional hands, here on earth and in heaven.”

She nodded and as they made their way down the stairs, Jarrod, Nick, Paul and Audra all came in.

“Mother, how is he?” Nick asked.

“He’ll be fine. He took a fall and cut open his forehead. But Howard’s already sewn up the wound. It looked a lot worse than what it was.”

“Oh, thank the Lord, it was awful,” Audra said, leaning against Jarrod for support. “There was so much blood.” Jarrod put his arms around her comfortably.

“It’s ok now honey, just relax.”

“Who’s up there with him?” Nick asked.

“No one right now, I’ve given him a narcotic to help him sleep,” Howard replied.

“Mother, Audra told us what happened, who did he want?” Nick questioned.

“I still don’t know. He couldn’t explain himself in a way we could understand,” she answered.

“Paul, do you have any ideas?” Jarrod wondered.

“I’ll have to talk to him, but it’s not unusual to have this kind of confusion. I’ve seen it many times before. It generally works itself out.”

Nick shook his head in disgust. “So what does that mean? More waiting?” His tone was loud.

Victoria looked at him, “Nick, please, not now, we’re all upset.”

“I’m just tired of it Mother, the same vague answers. Doesn’t anyone know how to help him, or how to tell us to help him?”

No one answered him.

“I’m going upstairs to sit with him,” he said with repugnance.

Late that evening, Nick sat dozing in the chair and Heath still slept, until finally the younger brother started coming to. Heath could feel the uncomfortable bandage on his head and slowly lifted his arm to push it off.

Nick heard the movement and woke up as well. “Hey there, no, no, no, you can’t take that bandage off yet, little brother, you need to leave that on.” Nick said, in a friendly tone, as he brought Heath’s hand back down to his side.

Heath stared at him intently and smiled. “Baaaccckke?” he said with a question in his tone.

“Yeah, we’re back. You gave us all quite a scare. You want to tell me what all the fuss was about?” Nick sat back down in the chair. Nick had prescribed to the ‘I’m going to talk to him like I’ve always talked to him,” method of therapy.

Heath tried to reach up and touch the head bandage again. “Huuurtttah,” he said.

“Yeah, no doubt you’re gonna have a headache from that one. You want to tell me why you tried to get out of bed?”

“Mmmmiiinnnn,” he answered.

“What men?”

“Waaahaiiirrr gggoo?”

“Where did what men go?”

“yyyaaahooouu mmmiiinn?”

“What? Yahmen? I don’t get it.” He said, trying to keep his frustration to a minimum. He merely wanted to understand what Heath was trying to say. “Try saying that again.”

Heath balled up his fists and then pointed at Nick, “Yaaaooouuu, Yoouu,” he repeated.

“Me?”

Heath shook his head in agreement.

“That’s what you wanted. You wanted to know where me, Jarrod and Paul went?”

“Yaaah, mmmmiiiinn! Sauwhah leaf,”

“You saw us leave and you wanted to know where we went?”

He nodded again. Nick saw him finally take a calming breath and relax. The communication bridge had been crossed.

“We just went into Stockton for the day. That’s all.” Heath didn’t say anything, but he watched Nick closely. “You wanted to come with us?” Nick kept after him, he could tell Heath wanted to say more. Something else was on his mind.

He shook his head no.

“Well, what then? You have to tell me. Make me understand Heath.”

“Whaaannntttedd cuuuumm hommmmeh.”

“You wanted us to come home?”

“Eeeeysssss.”

“We’ll always come home, you know that.” Heath gave him a confused look. “Heath, you know we’ll always come home.”

“Nnnoottah nnno,” he said, turning his head away.

“Hey, look at me,” Nick called to him.

Heath wouldn’t.

“Heath Barkley, you look at me right now!” Nick said sternly. Slowly Heath turned back to see Nick’s serious gaze.

“We will always come back. That’s a promise, you understand that right now and don’t ever forget it ok? I mean it.” His intense stare pierced through Heath. “Tell me you understand, I want to hear you say it.”

“’Stttttaaaannndah,” he said, shaking his head and keeping eye contact with his brother. He pointed to his head again, “hhheeeaaadah ‘stttttaannndddah.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“So that’s what got you all worked up?” Nick asked him plainly. Nick thought about the conversation for a few minutes before he spoke again. Heath watched him carefully. “Tell ya what Heath,” he began. “You can’t let this sort of thing get you so upset. Do you understand what I mean?”

Heath shook his head and said, “Nnnnoo.”

Nick pursed his lips together. He had to figure out a way to make him comprehend. What could tell him, how could he make him see? “You have to give us time to figure out what you mean.”

“I nnnno wwaaahtt I meeeeen,” he said stubbornly.

Nick chuckled. “Yeah, I know YOU know what you mean, but we don’t always.” He stood up and paced around the room for a minute. Then coming back, he sat back down and started speaking his idea. “It’s like playing poker. Remember poker?” Nick watched him closely as Heath attempted to recall the game he excelled at. He said a silent prayer that he would. Heath’s eyes lit up. Nick knew he remembered. “Ok, remember, you know what you got in your hand, but no one else does. It’s the same thing here.”

Heath let out a laugh and nodded his agreement.

“You gotta show us the cards brother.”

Heath was agreeing and understanding everything Nick said and when he had uttered the word brother, Nick saw how his face lit up again. “What?” he asked him. “What is it? What did I say?”

“Mmmmiiin issssssss brutttrrrrrrrr.”

“Try it again, slow it down.”

“Mmmeeen issssss bruteeerrrr.”

“That’s what you meant all along, men means brother? That’s exactly what I mean Heath, you need to show us your cards.”

“Yeah, brutteeerrr.”

“You gotta get that sound, ttttthhhh,” Nick tried to demonstrate.

Heath imitated him, “tttthhhhh,”

“Yeah, now put it together.”

“Brrrruuuttttthhhheeeerrrrr,” he concentrated on. “Niiiikkk issssss bbrrottthheeerrr.”

“You bet I am, always, that sounded real good.” Nick stood up from the chair. “You hungry? Cuz I am, how ‘bout I go have Silas fix us up something for dinner?”

“Yeah, huuuugry.” Heath repeated. Nick started to walk out. “Niiiiikk?” Heath asked.

“Yeah Heath, what is it?”

“I wwwaaahhhnnnt tttta woook.”

“You think you’re ready for that?”

“I trrry tttaddaay.”

“And look what happened?” Nick said motioning to his bandaged head.

“I wwwahhnt ta wooook Niiik”

“Not by yourself, you promise? You have to let me and Jarrod help you. Give me your word, no more stunts like this one today, promise?”

Heath nodded, “pprrrraaaammssss, bbbbbuuttt, I wwwahhhntt ta wok.”

“Ok, ok, I’ll check with Paul, but I don’t see why we can’t start teaching you that, if you think you’re ready.”

“Waaaahhhnnt ta wok, ggggooo ttta ttttoowwaaan, paaaahhhlllay poookkkaaarrr.”

“Let’s just start this walking thing one step at a time alright? I’ll be back in with our supper in a few minutes.”

The rest of the family was downstairs eating when Nick sauntered into the dining room with a tiny axe to grind.

“I peeked in there a while ago and you both were still sleeping,” Victoria said. “We decided to start dinner.”

“That’s ok,” Nick replied. “I’m just gonna fix up a couple of plates for me and Heath,” he explained.

“Is he awake?” Audra asked.

“Yeah, he’s awake.”

“Well, what did he say?” Jarrod asked. “Honestly, I think both their personalities are changing. Heath’s doing all the talking and Nick’s as quiet as a mouse.”

Nick was getting irritated with Jarrod’s joking. “Maybe I just do a better job at listening than the rest of you do, did you ever think of that?” He directed his comment right at Jarrod.

“My, my, what exactly happened up there?” Jarrod’s natural curiosity had piqued.

“For your information Mr. Big City Lawyer, he wasn’t talking about men or ranch hands, he meant us, brothers. He couldn’t recall the word.”

“I’ll be,” Jarrod said, apologetically.

“Oh dear,” murmured Mother.

“Oh dear is right,” Nick continued. “Do any of you people get it? This relearning means relearning everything. Everything we take for granted. We want to use a word and it’s right there, right where it’s always been.” He took his finger and pointed it at a spot on his head. “It’s entirely different for Heath.”

Paul Baker watched Nick in awe.

“The word brother is gone from here for him,” he continued to point. “Not only does he need to relearn it, he needs to put it somewhere he can find it when he needs it again.” He took his finger and moved it to the other side of his brain. “Am I right Paul?”

Paul Baker nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly it Nick.”

“And I had to explain that he needed to be patient with us, see he thinks he’s being clear, in his mind, he knows exactly what he wants to say and what he means, but it doesn’t always come out that way.”

“Then we need to be more patient too,” Victoria interjected.

“Yes Mother we do, we have to listen and repeat and ask over and over until we get a clear picture from him,” Nick explained.

“Nick, you’ve made a great breakthrough with him today,” Paul said.

“Have I?” Nick wondered aloud. “You know when you mentioned that there might be things we’ll never understand?” Paul nodded and Nick continued to talk, “well, he thought we were leaving and never coming back.”

“No,” Jarrod was surprised.

“Yes, Jarrod, I don’t know where that came from, but I had him repeat it so that I understood. Then I had to explain to him that we’re always coming home.”

“And we told him that the men were returning after lunch,” Audra said slowly, now beginning to understand all the confusion for herself. “No wonder he was so upset.”

“That’s right Sis, we’ve got to be tenacious with him and think about what it is we’re saying and what he’s saying.”

“That’s quite a conversation the two of you had up there,” Victoria said, a bit happier now that the days events were starting to make sense.

Nick was now busy preparing up two mounding platefuls of food. “Oh, and by the way, Heath wants to start walking too.”

“Walking?” Jarrod said with a chuckle. “Do you really think we should start on that so soon?”

“He wants to Jarrod, and Paul keeps saying we should push him. I say we teach him how to walk again.”

“What do you thing Paul?” Jarrod asked him.

“I don’t want to go too fast and risk overloading him, however, if he really says he wants to, then that’s what we should do.”

“He wants to walk. That’s what he said,” Nick picked up the plates and began to exit, “and play poker. And my money is on him when he begins playing poker again. He remembers that, you should have seen his eyes light up like candles when I said the word. Maybe I’ll grab a deck of cards and see just how much he does recall.”

“Oh Nick,” Victoria called out after him.

“If he wants to play poker, we’re playing, sorry Mother.” With that he headed up to eat with Heath.

* * * * * * * * * *

Nick had indeed brought up a deck of cards with him and after the two of them had finished their dinners, Nick held them out and Heath smiled and said, “yah, lllettt plllaaaa.”

“You’re sure you remember?”

“Mmmeemmbrrrrr I beeetttah yyyooowaah,” Heath laughed.

“Very funny,” Nick gave him a look, ‘Here, you shuffle ‘em up and deal, it’ll be good for your hands and fingers, give them some exercise too.”

Heath grabbed the deck willingly and began to shuffle them. He obviously had total recall when it came to playing cards.

Victoria had come upstairs to grab their plates. She saw what was happening and said, “Honestly Nick, do you really think he should be playing cards?”

Nick rolled his eyes and was just about to say something but Heath butted in and his clearest sentence ever said, “I whanna plaaaa.” Victoria’s gaze left Nick and ventured over to Heath, bandaged head and all as he sat up straight and proud and repeated it again, “I whaanna play. I mmmemmbrrrr.”

She looked back at Nick who held out his open arms in defense. “I’m not forcing him Mother, you heard the man. Anyway, the way he plays, I’ll be lucky to get out of here tonight with my shirt.”

Jarrod and Paul came into the room as well, Jarrod carried a bottle of whiskey, glasses and cigars. “We heard there was a poker game up here, mind if we join in?” Jarrod asked, holding up the bottle.

Victoria saw the bottle right away. “Now, I’m drawing the line right there Jarrod Barkley. Heath can play poker with you boys, but there is to be no drinking or smoking in this bedroom, by any of you, is that clear?”

“Oh, come on Mother, what’s a poker game without whiskey and cigars?” Jarrod teased.

“Jarrod Barkley, your brother just needed the doctor this afternoon for that head wound you see there under that bandage. Do I need to explain it anymore? I hope I can trust you with this Paul.”

Paul grinned and nodded politely at Victoria. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Trrrusss mmmee ttttooo, haaappeee tttta juuss plllaaaa,” Heath added.

Victoria looked over them all and had to smile herself. “Alright then, have fun.” With that she left the room.

“She obviously hasn’t played poker with Heath before,” Nick said, “loosing to him is never fun.”

Heath enjoyed the comment his brother had made about his poker prowess.

They set up a makeshift table right there on the bed and just as they were about to get started, Heath stopped them.

“What? What is it Heath?” Nick asked.

“Mmmmonnneeeee,” he said.

“You want to play for money?” Jarrod asked.

Heath nodded and looked a bit bewildered, “wwwhhhhiiii elllllsssss plaaaaa?”

Jarrod, Nick and Paul all laughed and they began to open up their wallets. “Sounds like a good reason to me,” Jarrod said. “You’re exactly right Heath.”

Nick took out some extra money and passed it over in front of Heath on the bed.

“Nnoooo,” Heath said.

“Come on Heath, you can pay me back later,” Nick said.

“Nnnnooo Niiiikk, ggggottaah mmmmy mmmmunnneeee,” he said, pointing over at his dressing table. “Ggggeeettt iiitttah.” He pushed Nick’s money back toward him.

Nick got up and went over to get Heath’s own money. “Not only does he remember the game, he’s got his stubborn streak back too.” He walked back over and handed Heath his billfold and watched as his brother slowly opened it up and took out his money and laid it on the bed in front of him.

“I think this is better exercise for you than finger drills, isn’t it Heath?” Paul said, amazed at Heath’s dexterity and fortitude.

“Ffffeeelllssss ggggooooddd tooo.” Heath was already totally concentrating on the poker.

“I’ll make a note of this for sure. The patients should be encouraged to do the things they like and have always done. It promotes a better recovery.”

“Glllllaaaaddd Iiii ccccann tttteeeccchhh tooo.” Heath wryly added.

Paul laughed, “more than you’ll ever really know Heath.”

“Listen, are we gonna play or yack?” Nick asked.

“Pllllaaaa,” said Heath as he picked up the deck and shuffled them and started to deal. Poker had never left him, even as he played his speech sounded better and stronger. Even his knowledge of money and betting remained in tack as well. “Fffiiivvve ccccaarrrdddd, nnnno wiiiiilllddddah,” he said, dealing out the first hand.

Heath bluffed and bet his way through four hours of playing, coming out on top about ninety percent of the time. Nick’s favorite line of the night turned out to be, “I don’t believe this, can you believe this boy?” Jarrod, Nick and Paul decided to call it a night, long before Heath did. Nick hung around after Jarrod and Paul said their goodnights. Heath sat back against the pillows and counted up his take for the evening.

“Huunndrrreeddd ffffifffttttteeee tttttttooo bbbbbbuuukkkss,” he said, sliding the bills back into his wallet.

Nick shook his head and couldn’t help but grin. “I think playing poker is your definite calling little brother.”

“Ssssshhhhoooood gggggiiiivvvvaahh uuuppp rrrraaaancccchh?”

“If you keep playing like that you could,” Nick joked.

“Mmmmmaayybbbee Iii hhhhaaaaffff ttttaa.” Heath looked over his own body.

Nick understood him right away. “Listen, its too late in the night to be having those kind of thoughts. And you don’t need to have those thoughts anyway. Look at tonight, you remembered poker. I bet there’s all kinds of stuff you remember too. Give yourself some time, you hear me?”

Heath nodded.

“Don’t just nod, say it, remember?”

“Iiii heeeaaar yaaa Niikkk,” he answered.

“Good, now get some sleep ok? We’ll start walking tomorrow.”

Heath gave him a little grin and nodded again and before Nick would scold him again for not talking he replied, “sssslllleeepppp ggggooooodd tttttoooo bbbbrrrottttthhheerr.”

Nick noticed the cards in his hands and went to take them and set them on the table, but Heath stopped him.

“Leeeeeeaaaffff eeeemmmm, wwwhhhannnaaa prrraaccttiissss fffffiiinnnngggerrrsss.”

“Alright, I’ll leave ‘em, but not for too long, you need to sleep.” He went to the door and turned back, “Good night Heath.”

“Nnnniiitttteeehh Niiikkk.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Heath was up bright and early the next morning waiting for Nick and Jarrod to help him learn to walk. By the time they came in, he was showing signs of his impatience.

“Whhhaaattt toookkk ssooo looonnnng?”

“Nick needed some extra sleep after you cleaned him out in poker last night,” Jarrod said wearing a grin.

“Waaaannnaaa ggggeeeetttt gggggoooiiinnngg, iiiitttssaahh pppppaaasssttt ssssevveeen.” Heath had only one thing on his mind.

“That sounded real good Heath, your speech is getting better every day,” Nick said.

“Ddddoonnn’ttttahhh wannnaaa tttttaaawwwkkkk, wwwwwaaaannnna waaaaaaawwwkkk,” Heath said, squirming his way to the edge of the bed.

“Well Jarrod whatta think? Should we just each take a side and start walking with him?”

“I suppose that would help him get the feel for it,” Jarrod thought about it. “I’m not sure his legs will support him for very long though.”

“The way I see it, that’s about the only way. Or maybe I can rig up some sort of walkway, where he could practice?” Nick said.

Heath sat on the bed listening to them throw around suggestions. “Juuuusss wannna ggggeeeetttt uuuppppp, pllllleeeesssss, ttttiiirrrreeeeddd oooofffffah bbbbbeeedddd.”

“Ok, we’ll get you up,” Jarrod said, going to his left side and Nick going to the right.

“Now, you just lean on us ok, we’ll take a few steps and you see what you can do alright?”

“Yeeeeeaaahhh, bbbbbeeennnn wwwwaaaiiiittttinnnggg lllloooonnngggg tttttimmmmeee ffffffoooorrrr thhhiiiissssss.”

They lifted him up and started taking a few steps around the room. Heath kept his eyes cast downward, trying to will his legs and feet to move the same way Jarrod’s and Nick’s were, but his mind wasn’t able to get the signal down to them. They ended up practically dragging him around the room.

As they set him back down onto the bed he said, “nnnnnnnnnnnoooooootttttahhh wwwwrrrrrkkkkk,” He said very angrily.

“Now would ya just listen to that,” Nick said to Jarrod, “First try and he’s ready to quit. I never thought I’d live to see that day.”

“Iiiiiimmmmm nnnnnnooooottttt kkkkkkwwwwwiiiiiittttttaahhh,” he said. “Jjjjjjuuussss mmmmmaaaadddd aaaaattttttt heeeeeeeeaaaaaadddd,” He pointed at his head for added measure. “Hhhhhooooowwww dddddoooo IIII ttttteeellllll itttttttt tttttoooo mmmooovvveeehhh lllllllleeeeegggggssssahhhh?”

“We’ll help you figure it out. We got you eating, we got you talking and by golly we’ll get you walking too,” Nick said.

Jarrod took a few steps away from both of them to think. He came up with an idea and turned back toward both of them. “I think I got it, what do you have to do before you can walk?”

“Crawl?” Nick replied.

Jarrod threw him a dirty look. “Not crawl, you gotta be able to stand. I think the first step we take is teaching him how to get to his feet by himself and support himself by standing.”

“Let’s move this dresser over, it’s about the right size for him to grab onto to help haul himself up. I think it’ll support him,” Nick said moving toward the dresser.

“Now that sounds like a good idea. We’ll position it near the bed and Heath, you can start practicing your heart out,” Jarrod said. “How’s that sound?”

“Lllllikkkeehhh ttttthhhhhaaatt.”

The better part of the day was spent assisting Heath as he practiced getting up from the bed and pulled himself to a standing position. Nick and or Jarrod were always in the room, making sure he didn’t fall or attempt any more. Throughout most of the morning and even into the afternoon, they even kept a hand under him to guide him through the motions. But it was shortly before three o’clock in the afternoon, when Heath pushed Jarrod’s hand away and did it on his own. He even tempted fate when he released his own hands from the dresser and managed to stand alone, wobbly, but still alone, till finally his legs gave way and Jarrod reached in to help him back to the bed.

“Ddddddddiiiitttt iiittttahhh, lllllleeettttsss tttttttrrriiiii aaaaggggggiiiinnn,” he said, happily.

“If you say so, we’ll keep at this for the rest of the day Heath,” Jarrod said giving him a well-deserved pat on the back.

Paul Baker had gone into Stockton to send a telegram. He remembered that Dr. Broca had done some work with an adult patient who also had to re-learn to walk. He hoped that Dr. Broca could send him any information or guidelines that might be helpful.

While he was in town, he ran into Emily Matthews.

“Miss Matthews,” he said as he came up to her on the street. “How are you today?”

“Well hello Dr. Baker, what a nice surprise to see you back in town so soon. And please, call me Emily.”

“I needed to send a telegram, regarding Heath’s recovery,” he explained.

“How is he today?” she asked.

“Jarrod and Nick have him up and they’re trying to teach him to walk,” Paul said, walking along the boardwalk with her.

“He’s always known how to walk,” she said, in a bit of surprised tone.

Paul Baker was also surprised by her tone. “Emily, I’m not sure if you understand the severity of Heath’s injury.”

“I know that he almost drowned,” she said.

“It’s affected his mind,” Paul began, “his brain, well it was injured as well. He’s had to re-learn a number of things.”

“I’ve heard of amnesia, is it similar to that?”

“Not exactly, but in some ways it’s very much the same. There are a number of things he remembers. You see the brain keeps a record of just about everything. But with Heath’s injury, some of the ‘records’ are gone and he needs to relearn them.”

“And walking is one of those records?”

“Yes, and so was talking,” Paul said.

“Does he remember people?” she asked.

“Yes, it seems that he does, perhaps you would like to come back to the ranch with me and see him. I’ll bet he would enjoy that very much.”

“If you’re sure he’s up to taking visitors.”

“Believe me, Emily, I think seeing you will do him a world of good,” Paul said enthusiastically.

Paul and Emily rode back to the ranch together. When they entered the house, Paul called out but no one answered. He grabbed Emily by the hand and led her upstairs to Heath’s room.

Paul knocked on Heath’s door and had Emily wait in the hallway for a moment, while he made sure Heath was awake.

“Hey there Heath, I brought you a visitor all the way from Stockton,” Paul said, as he saw Heath sitting on the edge of the bed, ready to attempt standing up again. No one else was in the room with him. “Where’s Nick or Jarrod?” Paul asked, surprised that they left him alone.

“Nnnniiikkkk wwwweeeennnnttttaahhh ooooouuuuttssssiiiiddeeehh, bbbee rrrriiiittteeehhh bbbbaaakkkk,”

“Ok, so would you like to see your visitor?”

“Ssssssuuuurrreeehhh,” he said with a lopsided smile, not knowing who was outside.

Paul went back out in the hall and pulled Emily into the room.

“Hi Heath,” she said brightly. Seeing him sitting on the edge of the bed, looking like he always did, convinced her for the immediate moment that he was the same Heath she’d gotten to know. “Paul tells me you’ve been recovering nicely.” She began to wonder why he wasn’t responding or why he didn’t even stand up when she came in the room.

Any smile that was on Heath’s face quickly disappeared in a fraction of a second. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried his hardest to clearly speak her name. But when it came out of his mouth it sounded like all the other words he spoke now, “Eeeeeemmmmmllllyyy,” he muttered. He recognized her right away. He attempted to stand as he had practiced and mastered all day, using the nearby dresser for support, but in all the excitement and suddenness of her visit, he stumbled and Paul quickly dashed in and helped him stand. He leaned heavily on the dresser for support.

Seeing and hearing all of it, the smile on Emily’s face was lost just as quickly as Heath’s had been.

Paul finally realized the awkward position he’d placed them both in. “Well, Heath, Emily’s been in Sacramento with her father, but she wanted to come out and see how you were.”

Emily quickly added, “Yes, the senate has been in session for the last two months now. But I wanted to see how you were doing,” she said nervously.

“Iiiiiimmmmm fffffiiiinnneeeh, yyyyyaaooouuu ccccccaaannnnn ggooooo nnnnooow,” he said as he felt her eyes look him up and down over and over.

“I just want to help Heath, if I can,” she added, “Paul said you can use all the help you can get.”

Heath threw Paul a look of disdain, “Ddddoonn’tttah nnneeeddahh heeeelllpppahhh oooorrr ppppitttteeee, jjjuuuussss ggooooo.”

Emily had seen and heard enough, and she quickly ran out of the room, bumping into Nick as she did.

“Emily?” Nick said as she continued to run past her down the stairs. He looked upstairs and started to hear the commotion coming from Heath’s bedroom.

“Yyyyyoooouuuu ttooooo Ppppaaauuuwwwlll, ggggiiittttt oooooutttt,” Heath yelled, letting himself drop back onto the bed.

“I’m sorry Heath, I,” he paused, “I didn’t realize, I thought it would be helpful for you to see her.”

“Iiiii sssssaaaaiiiidddahhh ggggggeeeet ooooooutttt!” he shouted again.

Nick had come bounding up the stairs and now he burst into the bedroom. “What’s going on?”

“I was just leaving. I’ll take Emily back into town.” Paul brushed past Nick and left the room.

Nick looked around the room in a panic, wondering what had happened. He’d only been gone for a few minutes. “Heath, what happened?”

A clearly visibly upset Heath, could barely answer, “Bbbbbrrrooooaaawwwt hhhhheeerrr hhhheeeerrrrahhh,” he managed to get out.

“Emily?”

“Yeeeeaahhh, wwwhhhyyyy? Whhhhhyyyy Nnnniiiikkk?”

“Well, I suppose he figured it would help.”

“Nnnnooottt llliiikkeeehhh tthhhhhiissss, nnnnnooottt nnnnoowwwahh,” he cried out. Tears started flowing out of his eyes.

Nick let out a sigh and went over to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, come on now, it’s alright,” trying to give him some comfort.

“Nnnnnooo, nnnooootttt alllll riiiitttahhh,” he said. “Wwwwhhhhyyy?” he repeated over and over again.

It broke Nick’s heart as much as it had ripped Heath’s out. Nick succumbed to sitting down beside him on the bed and engulfing him in a hug. He kept whispering in his ear that everything would be ok. On the inside, Nick hoped they both would believe it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Nick sat there with him for quite awhile, trying to console him in some way. Heath just kept asking ‘Why, why had Paul brought Emily out to the ranch, without first asking him.’ Nick didn’t have any answers for Heath. He had no idea why Paul had done it, but he aimed to find out why. No one did something like that to his brother and got away with it.

“Dddddiiiddddnnnn’ttttt waaaaannntttahh hheeeerrr tttttaaaa seeeee mmmmeee llllikkeeehhh tthhhhiiisssss,” Heath cried out to Nick.

“I know, I know you didn’t, but you’re doing so well, I bet she was just happy to see you.”

“Nnnnnnooo, sssshhhheee ttttthhhhiiinkkkkss Iiiiimmmm ssssttttuuuupppiiiidd.”

“Now, come on Heath, you’re getting way ahead of yourself. She just came to see you and to let you know she’s thinking of you.”

“Nnnnneeevvvvvrrrr sssseeeee aaaagggggaaaaiiinnnn,” he pronounced soundly.

They sat there like that quietly talking for an hour or so, Nick finally was getting him to calm down and not be too upset, when Victoria came up the stairs to see how they were progressing on the walking. She had no idea what had transpired, but upon entering the room, she saw that Heath had clearly been upset by something. Her first thought was that perhaps he had fallen again, in his attempts to stand and walk. Perhaps that frustration had gotten to him.

“Nick, what happened?” she asked. “Did he fall again?”

“No, Mother, nothing like that.” Nick motioned to her with his eyes that he’d tell her about what had happened someplace else, somewhere out of Heath’s earshot. She picked up on it right away and changed the subject. “Would you boys like some dinner?”

“How ‘bout it Heath? I’ll bring you up some dinner. I bet Silas is making up something real good,” Nick asked him.

“Nnnnnotttttt hhhhhungrrrrreeee,” Heath said sadly.

Victoria watched them both closely and could only wonder what had happened. She decided to try to lighten the mood. “Silas has today off, I prepared dinner myself, baked ham,” she said, “with mash potatoes and broccoli salad, the one you like so much Heath.”

“Mmmm, that does sound good,” Nick began, “I’ll go fix us up a couple of plates and be right back,” he said rising from the bed and rubbing Heath’s back in a comforting, brotherly way. “You just sit tight, don’t be practicing without someone being here.”

“Wwwwwwon’tttttaaahhh,” he said.

Nick and Victoria left the room together. “Nick what happened? Why is he so upset?”

“Didn’t you see Paul and Emily come in?”

“Emily Matthews was here?”

“Yeah, Paul brought her out from town.” Nick said in an irritated tone. “Then he just brought her up here and barged in on him. He certainly wasn’t ready for that. He’s getting carried away with pushing him to do everything.”

“Where were you?”

“I had to go down to the barn and check on that mare, I was only gone for five minutes.”

“Poor Heath, no wonder he’s so upset, having his girlfriend see him like that. Well why in the world would Paul do that?” she asked, confused by the whole event.

“How in the devil would I know that Mother?” He paused, “but I’m certainly going to find out why. Where’s Jarrod?”

“He went into town for a few hours to try to do some work at his office. He’ll be home for supper shortly.”

“Good, he can sit with Heath, while I go talk to Dr. Baker then.” Nick said smugly.

“Now Nick,” she said, grabbing his arm, “what good will that do?”

“Mother, he’s supposed to be the expert here and look what he did. This could be one of those, what does he call them, ‘setbacks?’ Heath doesn’t need that. I’m no doctor, but I could figure that out.”

“Nick I understand your frustration, but right now, it’s more important we turn our attention to Heath and not take it out on Paul.”

“I’m not going to beat him up Mother, although I’d like to. I just want to ask him why he did that, so I can try to make some sense of it myself and then try to explain it to that boy up there,” Nick replied. “I better get that food up to him and make sure he eats it. I think we should all just try to keep him focused on other things, rather than on what happened this afternoon.”

“Yes, I’ll talk with Audra, Eugene and Silas and you can explain it to Jarrod when he comes in.”

Nick quickly made up a couple of plates of food and went back upstairs to sit with Heath. Heath was staring out the window when Nick entered.

“Here ya go, mmmm, smells fantastic. You know there’s only one cook better than Silas in this whole world, and that’s Mother,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Heath turned and glanced at him holding the plates and replied, “yyyyyaaaah, Iiiiiiii knnnnnowaaahh.” Then he quickly added again, “nnnnnoootttttttaaahhhh hhhhhhhhungrrrrrreeeee.”

“Oh yes you are, you can’t fool me. You’ve been working hard all day on that standing maneuver. I’ll bet you could eat the whole ham all by yourself.”

“Nnnnnnottttttaaahh wwwwwwworrrrrrrkkkkkkkkaaahhh, jjjjjusssss bbbbbbabbbbbeeee sssssssstttttttuffffffff. Sssssssttttttuppppiddddd.”

“Oh no it’s not. And quit thinking you’re stupid, because you’re not. Do you realize you’re learning everything twice? That’s pretty smart, I’d say. Not too many people would be able to do that.”

“Ddddddoooonnnn’ttttaahh ffffffeeeeellll ssssmmmaaaarrrtttaahh, cccccaannn’ttttttahhh evvvvveeennnnahhhh wwwwwaaaaaaalllkkk. Sssssllllllooooowww. Nnnnneeevvvveerrraahhh wwwwooorrrrkkkkahhhh aaaagggggaaaaiiiiinnn.”

“Listen, I expect you to get better quick. I need your help in running this ranch. You know that. I don’t know how I ever did it before you came. Jarrod and Gene are useless for this kind of work.”

“Ssssssooo ammmmmmm Iiiiii nnnnnnnowwwwwahhhhh.”

“Alright, that’s about it, I’ve heard enough, I expect you to eat and continue working on getting better. Understand?”

“Tttttttooolllldaaahh yyyyooouuuu nnnnnottttahhhh hhhhhhungrrrrrreeeeeee.”

Nick breathed out a sigh of anger and spotted the deck of cards on the nightstand. Walking over to the stand, he grabbed them and held them out for Heath. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. Cut the deck, high card wins, so if I get it, you eat. That’s the wager.”

The gamble got to Heath. He already knew it was something he could do. He hadn’t forgotten it and the challenge to beat Nick proved to be too great to pass up. Nick saw just the hint of smile pass over his brother’s face. Heath reached out and cut the deck. Nick quickly cut as well and flipped up the King of Hearts. Heath scowled his face and showed a four of spades.

“Ha, good, you’re eating. I should have made you wager some of your earnings from last night too.”

“Tttttttwooooooo oooooooutttttttttaahh offffffff thrrrrrree?” Heath proposed.

“No way,” he handed the plate of food to him. “Your streak of luck is bound to return. Now eat will ya?”

Jarrod came home shortly after that and Mother filled him in briefly. He went upstairs right away to relieve Nick. He found the two brothers playing cards. “Good evening gentlemen, are you picking up from where you left off last night?”

“Something like that,” Nick said, “but I’m doing better tonight.” Nick grinned at Heath.

“Nnnnnnnnnottttttt ppppplayyyyyinggggg fffffffforrrrrrr mmmmmmmoneeeeee,” Heath added.

“Maybe that does make a difference,” Nick thought. “but then, I’m not winning any money either.”

Jarrod laughed at him. “Say Heath, how ‘bout we try chess or checkers tonight?” Jarrod watched him for some reaction. He hoped he’d remember those games as well.

His eyes brightened up and he nodded, “sssssssurrrrrrre Jjjjjjjjarrrrrrrrrddddddd, ppppppllllllllaaaaaa,” he said.

“I’m gonna go check on how this ranch is being run. I’ll stop up later ok Heath?” Nick said, grabbing the plates.

“Okkkkkkk Nnnnnnnikkkkkkk,” Heath said, giving him a little wave as he gathered up the playing cards.

“I’m just gonna go get the board and pieces,” Jarrod said, “I’ll be right back.” He followed Nick out of the room.

“Mother told me what happened this afternoon,” Jarrod began, once they exited Heath’s bedroom.

“Did Paul come back from town yet?” Nick asked impatiently.

“I haven’t seen him.”

“Then I’ll ride into town and find him and ask him a few questions,” Nick said, the anger returning quickly.

‘Give him a chance to explain, please Nick?” Jarrod said coolly.

“I’ll give him the same chance he gave our brother, how’s that?” he paused, and took a deep breath. “Yes, I’ll let him explain, because then I’ve got to explain it to Heath. Of all the stupid things he could have done, I want to know what he was thinking.”

“I’m sure he’ll have some reason.” Jarrod said.

“I hope so. You better get in there and keep him company.” Nick motioned with his head and started down the stairs. “Keep him focused on something else.”

“I will.”

Paul and Emily had a quiet ride back to Stockton. Emily was in a bit of shock over the whole episode and Paul was at a loss for words to try to explain it to her. In other cases he’d seen, the patient always had responded favorably to seeing old friends.

“It’s as if he’s a different person Paul,” she said softly. “It’s not the same person I knew before.”

“There are some changes to his personality, but he is the same person,” Paul explained.

“But his speaking and well, not being able to walk or even stand, it’s just not him.”

“It is him,” Paul reiterated.

“Not to me he isn’t,” she said a little coldly, scooting herself closer to Paul in the buggy, Paul didn’t object.

They continued their ride in silence.

Nick saddled up Coco quickly and headed off into Stockton to search out the good doctor. He stopped by Dr. Merar’s and looked there first for Paul. Howard told him he hadn’t seen Paul and Nick told him what had happened at the ranch. Howard was of course most concerned for Heath and offered to help in any way he could. Nick thanked him and left and went on searching for Paul.

He spotted the ranch’s buggy hitched in front of the hotel. He rode up and dismounted. He walked past the buggy and glanced inside. He noticed a ladies shawl, similar to the one Emily had been wearing back at the house. He looked up and down the street and didn’t see either one of them, so into the hotel lobby area he went. As he entered he saw the two of them embracing. That was the final straw. Nick sided up to Paul and pulled him away from Emily and viciously threw a right hand that connected to Paul’s jaw. Paul went stumbling backwards stopping only because he bumped in to the hotel’s front desk. Nick went after him again and began to pick him up off the floor, ready to smash his fist into him again.

“Now wait, Nick, wait,” Paul begged, “let me explain.”

Nick still kept a tight hold on him, “well you know what Paul, I was gonna do that, but after what I just saw, I’m not feeling like waiting anymore. I feel like letting my fists do my waiting and my explaining.” With that he let go another hard shot to Paul’s face.

Emily stood off to the side and watched in shock.

Nick reached down again and pulled Paul up off the ground. He saw Emily out of the corner of his eye. “Listen Emily, why don’t you head on home, this is between me and Paul.”

Scared and frightened, she turned and left the hotel quickly.

“Are you gonna kill me Nick,” a breathless and stunned Paul asked?

“I should,” Nick said as he pushed him in the direction of a chair. “Why Paul, what’s gotten into you? Why would you do that to Heath?”

Paul wiped the blood away from his nose. “What you just saw,” he started to say.

“The devil with what I just saw Paul.” Nick interrupted him “Why’d you do that to Heath this afternoon? Why bring Emily out to the ranch before asking the rest of the family or even Heath himself? I thought you wanted to help him.”

“I did, I mean I do.” Paul Baker buried his head in his own hands. “When I met her the other day I liked her and I just thought bringing her out to the ranch would help. I’ve seen it work before in other patients. I don’t know, I guess I should have asked. But maybe I did it selfishly, just to see her for myself again, I don’t know. She’s just beautiful.”

Nick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I thought you were suppose to help people Paul. What you did today was unthinkable. Now I have to undo what you did to my brother, in addition to everything else he’s been through,” Nick bent down and retrieved his hat from the ground. “I’ll expect you to pick up your things tonight, we want you off the ranch as soon as possible.” Nick headed for the door. “And I wouldn’t suggest you stay in Stockton for too long, because you don’t want to run into me again, ever.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Jarrod was coming down the stairs as Nick came home from Stockton. “How’s he doing?” Nick asked.

“He seems ok, he just fell asleep,” Jarrod began, “What happened in town?”

“I need a drink,” Nick said, heading into the sitting room, Jarrod followed right behind.

“Nick, what happened with Paul?” Jarrod persisted.

“He should be coming along shortly,” he said, pouring himself a whiskey and offering one to his older brother. His voice carried an air of disdain.

Jarrod accepted the glass, “and just what does that mean?”

Nick quickly drank down the shot. “It means, he’s picking up his things and leaving, alright?” He shouted.

“Why? What did you say to him?” Jarrod shouted back.

“You mean before or after I slugged him?”

“You got into a fight over it?” Jarrod inquired. “Nick, he’s a doctor for crying out loud.”

“Do you want to know why I hit him? I punched him because when I caught up with him he was kissing Emily,” Nick explained. “Then we had words over his so called ‘treatment’ of our brother.”

“He was kissing Emily Matthews? Are you sure? How long has that been going on?”

“One question at a time. Yes it was her, yes I’m sure and I didn’t need to hear his love story. He basically said it just happened. He thought Heath seeing Emily would be good for him, something about old friends usually help in rehabilitation. Of course it wasn’t as we witnessed and then one thing led to another on their ride back to Stockton,” Nick explained.

“And you asked him to leave?”

“You bet I did, how’s any of that gonna help Heath in his recovery? Seeing his doctor all over the place with his former girlfriend,” Nick answered. “Right here in this house, under his nose?”

“But Paul’s been a great help so far. I’m not sure asking him to leave was in Heath’s best interest,” Jarrod said thoughtfully.

“No?” Nick asked incredulously, “Maybe we can invite both of them out to have afternoon tea with him, or better yet, we’ll plan their wedding in the rose garden!”

“Oh Nick, settle down. We’ll figure this out.”

“I want him out of this house and out of Stockton.”

Just then, Paul came into the house and Jarrod and Nick got suddenly quiet. “Well, you must be talking about me?” Paul began, sporting a shiner and a fat lip. “I’m just here to pick up my things, then I’ll be off,” he said.

“Paul, we want to thank you for everything you’ve done, but what happened today was unfortunate and we just don’t think it’s in the best interest of Heath’s recovery if you stay,” Jarrod tried to explain as delicately as possible.

“No need to say any more Jarrod, I understand and I agree. I have my ticket for the 10:10 train. I did a very foolish thing. I’m leaving tonight.”

Jarrod glared at Nick to say something, so Nick obliged. “Paul, I’m sorry for hitting you, I just lost my temper. I was only thinking of my brother,” Nick said.

“I understand that too and I would have done the same thing. I better be going,” he started to walk out of the room up the stairs but stopped and faced them. “Please, feel free to wire me with any medical concerns regarding Heath. I feel that’s the least I can do. I’ll also talk to my associate at Berkley about Heath’s case. If you need someone to come out to the ranch, I’m sure he will be more than happy to help.”

“Thank you Paul,” Jarrod said, watching him nod and head up the stairs.

In the weeks that followed, the only noticeable difference in Heath was that he became much less talkative than he had been. His focus now was on walking and getting back to work rather than talking. The family saw it as his need for independence, he saw it as a way to avoid any more pain. They encouraged him to keep up with his speech therapy, and he’d politely agree to, but when it came down to it, he’d use words sparingly.

He worked diligently at re-learning to walk. It was a very hard concept for his mind to re-learn. He asked where Paul had gone and Jarrod explained to him that he was needed back at Berkley. They were however, in contact with him if they needed any specific help and another associate of Paul’s would be able to help as well. While it wasn’t entirely a lie, it wasn’t exactly the truth either. But Heath accepted it, he still didn’t understand what had happened that day, but like talking, he chose to avoid it rather than confront it.

The main problem with him and walking centered on him not being able to define his center of balance in his mind. While he could now get up and down relatively easily, he still needed something to hold onto because his balance was way off. The problem was intensified when he attempted to walk.

The family put their heads together and tried all kinds of ideas, but nothing was helping. They reluctantly telegrammed Paul and sought out any suggestions he might have. Paul wrote back and explained that when a toddler learns how to walk, the body is exponentially smaller and therefore it’s much easier for the brain to identify the center of gravity. In an adult, this concept would prove to be a huge challenge. Now they at least understood the problem, but he didn’t provide them with any constructive ways to overcome it, other than to keep working at it with him, and that he’d also attempt to locate some helpful solutions for them to put into use.

Heath sat in his bed one morning eating his breakfast. Out the window he noticed his beloved horse, trotting around the corral. His eyes watched Charger closely and carefully, around and around, this way and that. He began to wonder.

Jarrod came up just a short while later to help him with his balance and couldn’t believe the excitement he saw and heard in his brother’s eyes and voice.

“Jjjjaaaarrdddd, gggggottttaaah ittttt, gggggottttaahhh iddddeaaaa,” he said excitedly.

“Well, what is it?”

“Ccccharrrrrgggggerrrr,” he said.

“Your horse? How can your horse help?”

“Bbbbbbeennnn watttttchhhhhhinggg hhhhhhimmmmm annnndddd thhhhhhinkkkkkingggggg.”

“Well, you’ll have to try to paint me a picture, because I’m not following you, slow down and try to explain.”

“Rrrrrridehhhh,” he said.

Jarrod chuckled, “Heath, you can barely stand, how are you gonna mount a horse?”

Heath gave him a scowl and tried to explain “Yoooouuuuuu annnnndddddaahh Nnnnnnickkkkk hhhhhellllllppppp,” he said. Jarrod was going to interrupt but this time Heath stopped and kept right on talking. “Jjjjjjjarroddddd, ggggottaaaaa bbbbbballlllannnnnccccce taaaaaaa ssssssittttttt onnnnn hhhhhhhorsssssse, ggggggotta usssssse llllllleggggggssssss.”

Jarrod started grinning right away, he finally understood. “You know I think you’re absolutely right, I think it will work. It makes perfect sense. Do you think you can sit up there?”

“Sssssssittttttahhhh alllllll ddddddayyyyy,” he said sarcastically.

Jarrod laughed. “You know you’re right! Let me go get Nick and we’ll have you riding in no time. Better not let Mother know though, she’s liable to tell us we can’t.”

“Wwwwwwwon’t ttttellllll mmmmmme tttttthattttttt, wwwwwwrrrrrappedddddaaah ‘rrrrrrrrounnnnnnd mmmmmmy ffffffinnnnnnggggggerrrrrraaah.” Heath motioned a ribbon around his finger.

“Ha, and I won’t tell her you told me that either. Otherwise there’ll be no more cherry pie for you little brother,” Jarrod said, enjoying a laugh with him for the first time in weeks.

They carefully got him down the stairs and outside where he stood, leaning on the corral fence. It felt so good for him to be outside, letting the sun hit him straight in the face. He squinted his eyes and soaked it in. Nick trotted out Charger and saddled him up and brought him over to the fence where Heath stood. The horse recognized him immediately and Heath petted him and said softly, “hhhhhey ollll fffffrrrriennnnnddddaaahh.” The horse whinned and nuzzled against Heath’s hands.

“I want to know why I didn’t think of this sooner,” Jarrod said.

“Don’t get to ahead of yourself Pappy, we still need to see about getting him up and into the saddle,” Nick said sarcastically.

“Yeah,” the smile washed away from his face, “got any ideas there?” Jarrod asked, looking at both of them.

“I’ll just get some of the men and we’ll haul him up there,” Nick said matter of factly.

“No,” started Heath, “I’ll climb fence and do it myself.”

“You think you can?” Jarrod asked him.

“Know I can, watch.”

Step by step he managed to push and pull his body up the wooden fence and when he got to the top, he kind of rolled into the saddle as Jarrod and Nick held Charger steady for him. Then he sat up straight and adjusted his legs into the stirrups. He was ready to ride. He held the reins, and Nick and Jarrod walked along side, all of them, including Charger, moving very slowly. Special cargo was on board.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was working! Jarrod and Nick walked along side in amazement, careful to protect him from any harm, as Heath sat proudly in the saddle. For Heath it was like another miracle. After months of tireless days of lying in bed and having people wait on him for every little thing, he felt as if a huge weight was being lifted off him. It was another step closer to the life he had and wanted to have again.

After a few minutes, Victoria and Audra rode up in a buggy and Victoria was aghast when she saw Heath riding on Charger, with Jarrod and Nick on either side of him.

“Heath!” she shouted as she jumped out from the buggy and ran up to the corral fence. “What on earth on you three doing?” she questioned. “Do you want to kill him?” Audra followed closely behind, also amazed at seeing Heath on a horse.

“Mother, it seems to be working,” Audra said, running after her as she tried to have her mother remain calm.

Victoria wasn’t paying any attention to Audra. Right now, it was Heath on horseback that concerned here. “Jarrod, have you lost your senses?” She called out again, questioning her eldest son. Nick and Jarrod slowly led the horse and rider over to the side of the fence that she was near and brought the horse to a stop.

“Now, Mother, just let us explain,” Jarrod began to reply, but the matriarch wasn’t ready to listen quite yet.

“Who’s idea was this? Certainly not Paul’s or Howard’s.” Her piercing stare drove into both Nick and Jarrod. The two eldest Barkley boys stared at each other, each waiting for the other to answer.

“Mmmiinneehh,” Heath finally stammered out.

“Your?” She turned to look at Heath when he spoke. She couldn’t believe this had been his idea. He wasn’t even walking yet. “This was your idea Heath?” she said, with disbelief.

Audra beamed at Heath sitting atop Charger and he smiled back at her in return.

“Gottaahh wwwaaawwwkkk sssoooommmmeeehhhttimmmmeeehh, ttthhhouuugghhhttaahh ttthhhisss wwwwooorrkkkkahh.”

“That’s wonderful Heath,” Audra said, climbing up on the fence to pet Charger, “I think Charger is glad to see you too.”

Heath nodded and said, “tttthhannnkksss ssssiiiss.”

Victoria still couldn’t believe her eyes. “Heath Barkley, I swear sometimes you just want to see how worked up I can get.”

“Nnnootttaahh tttrrruuu,” he began, “jjjuusss waannnaa wwwwaaawwwkkk.”

She finally gave the hint of a smile. “Whatever gave you this idea?”

Nick chimed in. “Heath was watching Charger out here and well, he realized that one of the number one things you need to sit a horse is balance, followed by leg strength. You always said he had excellent horse sense. And we’re being careful Mother, we thought the whole thing thru.”

“Yep, just have some faith in all of us,” Jarrod added.

“I do, believe me I do, I see how far you’ve come so far,” she said looking at Heath. “I know what we’ve been doing is working.”

“Gggootttaahh ffffaaarrr ttaaa gggoo,” he started, “bbbbutttaahh I’llll gggeettt tthhherrreeehh.”

“I know you will,” she answered.

“Then we better get going, this boy’s got a lot of riding left in him today,” Nick said, leading Charger away from the fence.

The rehabilitation with Charger worked miracles. It was just a matter of few weeks as Heath was able to re-learn his center of balance and from that he began taking steps. Unsteady at first, but as the days passed by, they became more sure-footed than they had ever been. He spent every waking hour on his feet, of course a member of the family was generally one step behind or right at his side. He started to feel a bit smothered.

And as much as his walking had improved, his talking hadn’t and he withdrew even more into himself. He insisted that he be ‘allowed’ to start working around the ranch again. But no one was really listening to him. They all told him it was too soon and that he might have some sort of a relapse.

He decided to take his case directly to Nick. When he did feel like talking, it was mostly to Nick, who took the time to understand what he was saying, and who had treated him the same all along. Plus, the silence between them often times said the things that words could never say. When it came to their love for the work they did on the ranch, no words were needed. He’d have to plead his case before Nick.

They argued relentlessly the night before Heath was to begin ‘working.’

“I know you are anxious to get back to work Heath, but you’ve only been walking for a few weeks now, maybe you should give yourself just a little more time, you know work on getting your strength back,” Nick started off fairly calm. He didn’t like arguing with Heath given the circumstances.

“Dddonnn’ttaah nnneeeddaahh tttimmmeehh, nnnneedddaahhh wooorrrkkk.” Heath followed him out to the barn.

“Well, what exactly do you want to do around here? You know things are slowing down, there’s not much going on.”

Heath wasn’t buying that, there never was a ‘slow time’ on any ranch, especially not for the owners. It was just a lame excuse on the part of his worrisome brother. Rather than answering him, he gave him a dirty look and turned his back to him.

“I know you’re listening to me, I just think you should wait.” Nick said with care and concern.

“Nnnoo,” he answered pretty clearly and strongly. He kept his back turned.

“Boy I don’t know where you get that stubborn streak from, but it really makes me mad sometimes, this time being one of them. You’re not going to listen to me or any of us at all are you?’

“Nnnooo, he said again.

“You know you could take the time and work on your speech and your writing too. Audra says it still needs work,” Nick tried to change the subject.

“Nnnoo.”

“Is that the only word you know?” a frustrated Nick asked.

For a minute there was silence, then Heath spun around and faced his brother. “Nnnooo,” he began, “knnnnooww, llllooottss, ccccannn’tttahhh sssaaayyy eeemmmm.”

“That’s why you need to practice. You know that’s what Paul and Doc Merar say. It’s the only way it’s gonna improve.”

Heath dropped his head, he knew Nick was right, but he just didn’t see any improvement like he had with walking. He knew his body was ready for work and he wanted to give his mind some rest from over thinking everything. His mind knew the words, but it didn’t convey them to his mouth. “Jjjuuusss gggottaa wwoorrrkkk Nnnniikkk,” he needed to make Nick understand. If he could get Nick to agree with him, the rest of the family would go along with it.

Nick saw his immediate frustration but in an overly protective way he just didn’t feel right in letting him go back to work yet. Maybe it was some left over guilt from the accident. He couldn’t explain it to Heath either, he just wanted to keep him safe from harm’s way. So he made up some other excuses rather than share his true feelings with him. “I just don’t know what to have you work on. I’m not sending you out chasing after horses or breaking horses or riding herd. It’s too much. It’s gotta be something easy, that’s all there is to it.”

“Ggggootttaa dddooo tthhhhooossse thhhinnngss sssssooommmeetttiiimmmeeehh.”

“Not yet you don’t,” Nick shot back.

“Lllleettts rrriidddeeehhh fffffeeeennnnccc,” Heath replied.

Nick thought about it for a minute. “Together, you and me?”

“Yyyyeaaahhh,” he said, holding out his hand. Heath thought a compromise would be just what he could use to persuade Nick. He’d show him he could do the work, and then Nick would have to let him work alone. That was his goal.

Nick took it and shook. “Ok, let’s get to it, first thing in the morning.”

The morning came and off the two of them went in search of fence to mend. Nick wanted to quit at lunchtime and head back to the ranch, figuring a nice slow, easy half a day would be enough, but Heath would hear nothing of that. Now that he was outside, that’s where he was staying. They both put in a full day.

For another week, Nick went wherever Heath went, it started to suffocate Heath, he wanted to prove to Nick that he was not only capable of working, but of working on his own and getting the job done. Nick couldn’t or wouldn’t let go. Another battle of words ensued, with Nick doing most of the talking and Heath holding his firm ground. One morning when Nick went to call him down for breakfast, he found a note waiting for him and Heath nowhere in sight.

He read the note hastily. “Nick, I’m gonna finish up that section we started yesterday. Please don’t come and help me, I promise that I’ll be home for dinner. Heath. Nick crumpled up the paper and rushed downstairs, knocking into Jarrod as he came down the stairs.

“You seen that younger brother of ours?” Nick asked him in an irritated voice.

“Which one? We have two you know?” Jarrod comically answered.

“The blond one who doesn’t say much,” Nick shot back.

“Nope, haven’t seen him, did you loose him?”

“In a matter of speaking. He decided to go off working by himself,” Nick explained.

“Good for him!” Jarrod exclaimed.

“Good for him? Are you crazy? Did you just hear that I said he went off to work by himself?"

Doing what exactly?”

“Finishing up that fence line we’ve been working on,” Nick said.

“Leave him be Nick, he wants to see if he’s capable of doing it alone,” Jarrod said. “Is there some reason why you think he can’t finish it?”

“I don’t think he’s ready to be off by himself yet, what if something happens to him?”

“We know where he’s at, we gotta trust in his ability and his determination. He knows what he can do and what he can’t do. Trust him to know he can handle things. Treat like you always have,” Jarrod said. “Did you ever worry about him riding fence before the accident?”

“Well, no, not exactly,” Nick said.

“That’s how it’s got to be again, understand Nick?” Jarrod grabbed his arm and looked him right in the eye. “I mean it Nick.”

Nick glared at Jarrod and then at Jarrod’s hand on his arm. Then the anger left his face, replaced by a look of care and concern, “Is it so wrong to not want anything to happen to him?” Nick asked him sadly.

“Nope, nothing wrong with that at all, there’s other ways to show it Nick, that’s all.”

Nick shrugged off Jarrod’s hand and stormed out of the house.

Continued…