Day One, Night Two

by dcat

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

'Day One, Night Two' is a continuation or 'fill in the blanks' story for the first episode of 'The Big Valley' -- 'Palms of Glory'. Each chapter is 'written' or 'told' in a different character's perspective or point of view (i.e., Victoria, Jarrod, Nick, Heath, Audra and Eugene).

(Jarrod)

This was not an ordinary day in our house. We’d been through many kinds of triumphs and tragedies over the years, but what was happening today, well it was something none of us ever suspected. The man we knew as father and husband had, in a way, betrayed us all. And though we’d come to know how much our lives would be enriched by this betrayal, on this the first of many days to come, our existence, our way of life would change for the better in ways we never imagined.

The first night had been tirelessly long. I don’t think I would have slept anyway, after having found out what we did. Our father, Thomas Barkley had ‘sired’ another son. Or so the story went from the young blond man who stood proudly alone, ready to defend his position against the three of us brothers, had he needed to. In a sense, he did defend himself. I’ll never fully know how he and Nick had tangled, but they both smelled bad and Heath looked as if he’d taken quite a pounding from my younger, fist-minded brother. I guess looking back, I tended to believe Heath’s ‘story’ right off. As the oldest, I think I knew my father in ways that my brothers and sister and maybe even my own mother did not know him. That’s not to say that my father went off and chased after other women, but something in that boy’s story that night, began to convince me that he was right about my father. That just maybe what was saying had relevance, substance and profound meaning.

Standing there perched with that broken bottle, his face bruised and bloodied already by temperamental brother Nick, he was almost like a wounded animal, wanting and needing to be loved, but not ready to let the trust and the healing pour in over him. He was truly a sorry sight. His clothes, unkempt and maybe a size or two too big for him, his hair, disheveled, a cut lip, a black eye and a swollen cheek. He looked like he hadn’t eaten or bathed in days. But as I looked closer, I saw an unmistakable look in his eyes. I’d seen it in all of us, Nick, Audra, Eugene and most definitely father too. I can’t describe it fully, but maybe it was just the way he stood there, staring back at us, not averting his gaze, barely blinking. He was a young man looking to lay claim to what belonged to him, his birthright. And his eyes carried that legacy. They burned through me.

In our own ways we all challenged him, Nick with his fists, Eugene with deep thought, Audra with cunning trickery and I, well, I brought it upon myself to give him a full inquisition. My legal questioning carried well into day one and night two. Though the more time began to pass, the more I was willing to drop my courtroom antics and to accept that I did indeed have another brother.

The only proof he had was a newspaper clipping about my father’s death, which in itself was next to no proof at all. According to his story, his mother hadn’t even mentioned the name of Tom Barkley, she directed him to the clipping in the back of her bible and when he had finished reading it, she had died. A sad, yet touching little drama that seemed a bit melodramatic at the time. It left him with many questions, no doubt. Questions that he wanted the answers to and he came looking for them, shortly after burying his mother. I must say I admired the fact that he rode right up to the house, under the guise of looking for work. How he and Nick tangled and how Nick found out that he was claiming to be our brother, well, I’ll let Nick explain that, but they made their way into the house, Nick shouting for us to come downstairs. It was all very loud and with Nick, that’s not unusual. The four of us got into it, demanding things from one another, him wanting his birthright, us wanting proof.

We didn’t believe him that night, or maybe we didn’t want to believe him, we tried to pay him off. He refused the money in dramatic fashion and left the house. I really thought that would be the end of things. Even if he had been my half-brother, after being beaten up by Nick and investigated by the three of us, I never thought he’d have the courage to take another step onto the Barkley Ranch. I was wrong. Maybe that led me to believe him as well.

While Nick, Gene and I were summoned away to one of our neighbor’s ranches that was on fire, my little sister Audra had overheard our conversation and chased into town after this so-called half brother of ours. I’m not exactly sure what transpired between the two of them, but somewhere in the midst of putting out the fire, Audra rode up with Heath and the sheriff. My mind was focused on the fire and the railroad, and I didn’t even notice that Heath rode off or that my Mother had followed him as he made his way back to our ranch.

She told us later that night that Heath came back to the house, but she never told us what transpired between the two of them. Again, we thought we’d never see this rag-tagged young cowboy again. We thought it had ended. But then early the next morning, Heath showed up just in time to stand with us against the railroad at another neighbor’s ranch.

I took a bullet that morning, and we ended up driving off the railroad’s hired guns. Friends had died, and when I looked off in the distance I saw Heath sitting on a barrel, attempting to roll a cigarette. A sheen of sweat lined his face and his hands shook from the fight we’d just been in. He was having a difficult time making a cigarette. I saw him exhale and close his eyes, trying to drive the fear and terror right out of his body, trying to calm himself after the gunfire. I knew exactly how he felt.

Nick came up to me and looked at my arm and I stood there for a moment, surveying all the damage that had been done.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigar and began to walk over to where Heath sat. My body cast a shadow on part of him and he glanced up to see that it was me. Like a palm branch, I offered him the cigar, which he gladly took and bit the tip and lit it up. He nodded his thanks and scooted over so that I could sit down on the barrel that he had just been occupying. I accepted his kind gesture and pulled out another cigar for myself, which he quickly offered me a match for. We must have sat there for a good five minutes, not saying anything to each other, but still connecting in way that meant something to both of us.

I’d come to find out later that Heath often said volumes when he said nothing at all.

A hound dog started to bark in the distance and Nick walked over to where we sat and began to talk.

“Jarrod, we ought to see about getting you to a doctor,” he motioned to my arm.

I took another deep drag on the cigar, tossed it to the ground, stood up and stamped it dead. “I just wanna go home Nick,” I answered him.

Nick nodded, “Then I’ll send Gene into town for the doctor.”

Nick started to walk off and I turned back to Heath, he still had a few drags to go on the cigar. He was obviously enjoying it. I almost hated to intrude on his happiness. He certainly looked like he could use more than five minutes worth.

“Whatta say Heath? I bet you could use some lunch too? Let’s go home.”

He took another drag and didn’t look at me right off. But he tossed the cigar off to the ground and tilted his head in my direction.

“You sure about this?” he asked.

I nodded and gave him a bit of a smile. “Yes, I am.”

“What about him?” he stood up now and glanced at Nick who had walked back over to talk to Gene.

“I can’t speak for him Heath. But if you really are who you say you are and you’re willing to put your life on the line to prove it, like you just did this morning, then he should be fine with this too.”

Heath tossed his head and let go a laughing sigh. “I think it’s gonna take a lot more proof than that for him.”

“Listen, you stick close to me, and we’ll work it out, how’s that sound?”

“I can take care of myself, I don’t need a body guard,” he said defensively.

I chuckled at him. “No, I don’t suppose you do, but how about an older brother? How’d you like one of those?”

It was one of the first genuine smiles that I ever saw on his face and again, at that moment, I could see Barkley in him through and through. But maybe I was just solidifying my belief, or maybe I just wanted to believe his hard luck story. I don’t think I’ll ever rightly know.

“Listen,” I said, “my arm is starting to throb, so can we carry on this conversation after I get patched up?”

He nodded, grabbed his hat and rifle and the three of us rode back to the ranch in silence.

* * * * * * * * *

(Audra)

I saw the three horses approaching and at first glance, I assumed it was Jarrod, Nick, and Gene. But as they got closer I could see that it wasn’t Gene, but rather it was Heath, the young man who was claiming to be the son of our father. I wondered what had happened to Gene, why he wasn’t with them and what was this other man doing riding in beside Jarrod and Nick. I wanted to know what had happened at our neighbor’s ranch. The gunfire had echoed throughout the valley that morning and as much I wanted to ride over and see what was happening, there was no way my mother would have ever allowed me to leave our ranch. Young ladies just didn’t do those kinds of things.

It was only yesterday at about the same time that I first laid eyes on this cowboy who called himself Heath. I had met him in the strangest place, my father’s gravesite. I knew my mother visited it regularly, but I never knew if any of the boys ever did. I don’t even know why I went there yesterday. However, when I rode up and saw a stranger there, I was shocked and my first instinct was to lash out at him, both physically and verbally. I was no match for him in the physical department, even growing up with three rough and tumbling brothers, I wasn’t prepared for him pulling me off my horse and pinning me to the ground. It just made me mad that he was able to do it so effortlessly. And to make matters worse, he laughed at me. He really had my hot Irish temper fuming.

My mother would say that I was entirely foolish for provoking a strange man like I had. The boys would probably laugh and say I got what I deserved, and then they would have proceeded out to find that cowboy and teach him how to treat their sister. I kept what happened to myself at first. I never found out his name, but he said he was looking for work on our ranch and I directed him to ask for my brother Nick, who does the hiring. As he rode away, there was something about him, something I’d seen before, but couldn’t place. He seemed familiar, trustworthy, and kind, someone I wanted to know better, someone I believed could be a good friend.

His outward appearance was a bit more deceiving. He didn’t look to be nearly as strong as he was when he had pinned me to the ground. His clothes seemed old and maybe too big for him, like maybe they were hand-me-downs. His shirt was even damp and he smelled like the river. And I don’t think he’d taken a comb to his hair for days.

That was the last I saw of him until late that evening. I heard a commotion downstairs and then my brother Nick was yelling at the top of his lungs for my other brothers to join him downstairs. I got out of bed and after Jarrod and Eugene went down the stairs, I opened my door and went to the top of the staircase. I heard glass breaking and I listened so that I could hear every word and I recognized the voice of the other person, it was the young cowboy I had met that afternoon. He made a wild claim. I heard him tell them that our father was his father too, but that his mother was someone from Strawberry. Nick wasn’t buying any of it. I heard Jarrod ask for proof. And then they quieted down momentarily and I couldn’t tell what was happening. That was frustrating. I wanted to go down and be a part of whatever it was that was happening, but I knew they’d never let me stay and listen. I let go a heavy sigh, there were times I hated being a girl.

I heard Nick tell him to leave and never set foot on the ranch again and then the blonde cowboy walked out of the sitting room, into the foyer. He must have sensed me at the top of the stairs, because he looked up and spied me and gave me kind of half smile. I stood there in shock and turned back to see that my mother’s bedroom door was open a crack and now it closed slowly. She had heard the whole exchange as well. I looked back down the stairs and he had gone.

The boys stayed downstairs for maybe another twenty minutes or so. Nick stayed in a rage-filled mood, until finally Jarrod managed to calm him down, by assuring him that the young man would not be coming back. They continued to argue, albeit more quietly, but soon their threesome broke up and they all headed upstairs.

I dashed into my bedroom and changed into my riding clothes, having decided to find out more about this man for myself. I wanted to know, I had to know. I quietly headed downstairs, went out to the barn, saddled my horse, and headed off into Stockton to see about things for myself.

They say I’m shameless, when it comes to these things. I had no fear, a trait I think I picked up from my brother Nick. In a man, they say it’s a charming and courageous trait, in a woman, it’s shameless. I really don’t care what anyone thinks about it, I just want to know things for myself and if a man can do something, why can’t I?

I rode into town like a wild woman, the poor horse was soaked with sweat as I trotted down Stockton’s main street wondering where to start looking for this stranger, this so-called brother. The town was bustling, people were everywhere, and suddenly men started grabbing at me, trying to pull me off my horse. One man succeeded and he dragged me off the horse in a very familiar way. It was Heath and he pulled me into the hotel and pushed me up the stairs into one of the guest rooms. My sleeve was torn and I had scratches on my arm.

My fearless and shameless nature came out and I did my best impression of Nick that I could possibly muster up. We fired words back and forth at one another as he kindly tended to my wound. I continued my shameless routine on him and decided to do something that my mother and brothers back home would be shocked at. I tried to seduce him in order to get the truth from him. If he were really my brother, he’d not fall for it, and if he weren’t, he’d have me, there with him alone in a hotel room.

He didn’t fall for it, in fact, like earlier in the day, it amused him, and he laughed at me, which again, made me all the madder.

The door busted open, some men entered, they started to beat him up, and then they tried to grab me. The sheriff came in and cleared everyone out and I tried to explain what I was doing in a hotel room with a stranger. I told the sheriff that he worked at the ranch and had come to town after me, knowing I could get into trouble. The three of us rode out of town and as we came closer to the ranch and just as the sheriff was asking Heath who he was, we all spotted the fire. We rode over and sometime during the midst of a heated conversation, I saw Heath ride off, when the conversation turned to the topic of my father.

And now, here he was again, riding up with Nick and Jarrod. My first concern was to find out where Eugene was.

“Where’s Gene? What happened?” I asked running toward them.

“He’s fine, he went to town to get the doctor for Jarrod here,” Nick said.

I looked over at Jarrod and saw that his arm was bleeding, he must have gotten shot. I quickly went over to him first. “Jarrod, are you ok, what happened?”

“I’m fine honey,” he said, dismounting his horse, he gave me a kiss on the forehead. “We’re all ok,” he added, looking back to Nick and Heath.

“You’re not ok,” I said, looking at the bloodstain on his shirtsleeve.

Nick had dismounted by now as well. “Let’s get you into the house and settled in bed before the doctor gets out here.”

“Nick, it’s just a flesh wound,” Jarrod said.

“Yeah, and you’ve lost a lot of blood, so don’t argue, you’re going to bed,” Nick said forcefully.

I took hold of Jarrod’s uninjured arm and began to walk with him toward the house. Heath was still on his horse. Jarrod turned us both around and stopped.

“Come on Heath, I promised you lunch and a big brother right?” Jarrod said with a wide, caring smile. It made me want to know what exactly had happened, what had changed Jarrod’s mind. Why was he now calling Heath a brother?

I looked over to Nick, who wore a look of utter disdain and then over to Heath, who smiled back at Jarrod. He climbed down off his horse and tied it up to the fence.

Nick walked over to the other side of Jarrod, “Lunch can wait, and so can all this brother nonsense, you’re getting patched up first.”

Jarrod turned and looked at me, “Audra, this newest brother of ours is hungry for some lunch, would you be so kind as to fix him up a sandwich or two, or whatever else he might like?” He removed my arm from his and motioned that I go take Heath to the kitchen. I looked over at Nick. Jarrod noticed that and added, “You don’t need his permission, just do like I ask, ok honey?” He gave me a wink.

I gave him a smile and nodded and waited a few steps for Heath to catch up. “What are you hungry for?” I asked him.

“Anything would be just fine miss,” he said politely.

Jarrod heard what he’d said and turned around again, “She’s Audra, I’m Jarrod, he’s Nick and brother Eugene is in town getting the doctor, none of that miss or mister stuff is used around here. We’re all family.”

Nick rolled his eyes.

“And so, Heath,” I used and emphasized his name this time, “what would you like for lunch?”

“A sandwich would be just fine,” he said. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows waiting to hear him say my name, which he finally did, very softly, “Audra.”

“I think we have some roast beef or ham, which do you like better?”

“Whatever’s easier for you mmm, I mean Audra,” he answered.

I smiled, because I knew he’d be hard pressed not to say miss again. Even Jarrod laughed.

As we entered the house, Nick led Jarrod up the stairs and I, in turn, led Heath into the kitchen.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” I asked him as he followed me, turning his head this way and that, looking at every inch of our house and studying it carefully.

“Only talk when I got something to say,” he answered.

“Are you going to stay with us?” I asked.

“According to your brother Jarrod I am, I think Nick is thinking I won’t be.”

“Well, Jarrod usually gets his way.” I pulled out the bread and the roast beef and the ham and fixed up two sandwiches for him. I put them on a plate and motioned for him to sit down. He remained quiet the whole time and I hardly knew what to ask him about or what to say to him at all. I had a thousand things running in my mind that I wanted to talk to him about. He sat down and started to eat, appearing like it had been a long time since he’d eaten, the way he bit into the roast beef sandwich first. “Would you like a glass of milk perhaps?”

His mouth was full and rather than speaking he nodded and I went to pour him a glass. He swallowed down the sandwich and said, “Thank you Audra,” with a smile. “It’s a very good sandwich,” he added, taking another huge bite. “That’s a right pretty name you have,” he started, after swallowing down the food again.

“Thank you,” I started, “I like your name too, it’s not one you hear all the time.”

“My momma, she picked it out, she said she liked the way it sounded, that it was a good name for a man to have.”

He’d already finished both sandwiches.

“Can I make you another one?” I asked.

He said no, but his eyes said yes, so I just fixed him one more anyway, which he gladly took and ate, again ravenously.

“What about you? Who picked out your name?” he asked me.

“My mother and father both liked the name. I’ve never found out why or who I might be named after, but maybe I’ll ask mother later on.” I still had so many questions to ask him. He must have sensed it.

“You know what?” he began, “If you make me another one of those roast beef sandwiches you can go ahead and ask me anything you want, I’ll tell you what I know. I can see you want to.” He gave me a smile.

I made him up another sandwich and sat down across the table from him. For the first time I really looked at him and it was uncanny how much I think we looked like each other. Our blue eyes and blonde features reflected back to us. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed it before.

“You finally see it, don’t you?” he asked me.

“See what?” I asked, not willing to let on.

“See that we’re brother and sister.”

He spent the better part of the next hour answering every question I could come up with for him. The longer we talked, the more I knew it was the truth he spoke.

When Gene came in to tell us the doctor had arrived, I looked over to Heath and put my hand on his on top of the table and said, “Welcome home, Heath.”

* * * * * * * * *

(Eugene)

The first time I laid my eyes on him he looked just like any other hard, luck cowboy who rode up to the ranch looking for work. He dressed shabbily, looked unkempt, but he rode up on a fine, Modoc horse and carried a nice looking rifle. I just figured appearance wasn’t that important to him, but his ‘working’ equipment was.

Anyway, he came riding up to the house looking for a job. The three of us boys had just had a fairly heated argument regarding the railroad and the fact that they were intending to take away land from some of our neighbors.

Nick’s blood boiled over and Jarrod didn’t back down from him, not that he ever really did when something mattered to him. That was a lesson I learned from Jarrod early on; Pick your battles, especially where hotheaded brother Nick was concerned. I was surprised they actually included me in on this particular discussion, most of the time the two of them still treated me like I was ten years old. Nick even offered me a drink, much to my astonishment.

And then Heath rode up and the three of us went out on the porch to see what he wanted.

He’d apparently run into both Nick and Jarrod separately sometime earlier in the day, from what I could gather, he and his Modoc raced against the train Jarrod was on and he’d obviously helped Jarrod win some money in some sort of a bet. It was Jarrod who told Nick to hire him on, I guess in part for helping him make some easy cash money. I don’t know where Heath and Nick met up, but I’d lay odds that Nick had taken an instant disliking to him, seeing as how Nick didn’t want to hire him. There was no hiding your feelings when Nick was concerned and Heath had done something to get on his wrong side.

Nick put up a small protest about hiring, saying we didn’t need anyone, but Jarrod overruled him and Nick sent him over to the bunkhouse to get settled in. I walked back inside with Jarrod and asked him about his trip. But he had been distracted by both the neighbors, the talk of the railroad and by this new hand, so he excused himself and went upstairs to his room to do some work.

Nick came in a few minutes later, still agitated by everything and everyone. I used to laugh at Nick when he’d get like that, but once I got old enough to be used as his punching bag, I learned right quick not to antagonize him and keep an even temper around him. I kept the laughter locked up inside, because it sure was funny to see him get worked up in a lather over some of the stupidest stuff.

“So you met him earlier today too?” I asked Nick.

“Hmm? What? Who?” he was distracted by everything too.

“That cowboy, Heath?” I said.

“Yeah, you might say we crossed a bridge together,” he smirked when he said it, like it was some joke between the two of them.

“What?” I wanted to know what happened and Nick’s answer made no sense.

“We met up over at the Pine River bridge and we had a bit of an accident, the bridge is out, we’ll have to get on that right away and get it fixed.”

I knew there was a lot more to the story than he was willing to tell me. He had poured himself another shot of whiskey and drank it down in a hurry. That was all he said to explain how he’d met Heath.

“Where did Jarrod go?” he asked me bluntly.

“Up to his room to do some work,” I answered.

“Don’t you have something to do too?” he practically ordered me to leave him alone.

So I did. I didn’t need to have a picture drawn for me. I went off in search of Audra, who was also nowhere to be found. Her horse was gone, so she was off riding around somewhere. Her and I still got along fairly well, us being so close in age and she’d listen to me if I felt like talking, which I did right at the moment. I headed out to the bunkhouse to talk with this new guy. Most of the men were still out working, so he’d probably be in there alone anyway. Maybe I could talk with him for a while. He wasn’t that much older than me.

I courteously knocked on the door, before I opened it up and entered. He was unrolling his bedroll on a previously empty bunk.

“Am I interrupting?”

He turned and looked at me and shook his head no, “Nope.”

“I’m Gene, by the way.”

He stopped what he was doing and took a couple of steps toward me and held out his hand for me to shake. I took it gladly and smiled at him. My impression of him was changing fast. There was something genuine about him.

“Heath,” he began, “Nice to meet you.” He went back to making up his bed.

“So you worked in Corning?” I decided to start by making small talk with him, picking up on what he’d said earlier when he rode up to the house.

“Yep.”

He wasn’t a very talkative fellow. I tried another approach, I started to talk about myself. “I’m a student at Berkley, well, most of the time, anyway, I just came home for the summer.”

“Whatcha studying?” he asked, he sat down on the bed he’d just made and looked genuinely interested, which is more than Nick ever did.

“Right now, it’s veterinary science, but I’ve changed it three times already,” I answered honestly.

“That’s like being a doctor huh? For animals?” he asked.

“Exactly,” I must have smiled broadly, because he smiled back at me.

“That’s a good field I reckon,” he began, “Sometimes I think it’s easier to understand animals than people.”

I liked what he had just said, I totally understood it. I nodded my agreement. “I thought about being a regular doctor too, but I think growing up on a ranch and being around all the livestock, well, I think it may have influenced me to change my mind.”

“School’s pretty tough?” He said it as a question.

“For me it is, Jarrod, he breezed through it in a heartbeat, nothing’s ever been tough for him.

“He’s the oldest?”

“Yep, then Nick, then my sister Audra and me,” I replied. I just kept going because it was so easy to talk to him. “Jarrod made it through college and law school in four years, graduated from high school when he was 15. He just might be the smartest person I know. Nick, he barely made it through high school, not that he’s stupid or anything, he just always wanted to be out here working. Mother made him finish.” I stopped for a moment.

“Didn’t your father want him to finish?”

“I think Father knew all along that Nick was destined to run the ranch. He knew Nick had what it took to be a successful rancher, just like he had been.”

“What about your sister?” he asked.

I laughed, cuz just thinking about Audra and her personality always made me laugh. She was easy to describe. “Audra, she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, however she wants. She can be sassy and be compassionate all at the same time. She’s one of a kind.”

Heath laughed a bit as I described her. “Sounds like a handful.”

“She is! We like to tease her that she’ll never get married, cuz no man will ever have her, they couldn’t stand for all her moods. Maybe you’d like to take her out sometime, I bet you’re about the same age,” I proposed.

“She doesn’t sound like the woman for me,” he teased.

“See that’s what we keep trying to tell her, but girls nowadays never listen.”

Just then our ranch foreman came into the bunkhouse.

“Heath, Nick wants you to ride out and finish helping the men out at the North pasture,” he said.

“Sure thing,” Heath stood up to go.

“I can take you out there,” I offered.

“Nick wants you up at the house Gene. I’ll take him out there.”

“Well, nice talking with ya, Heath,” I said, holding out my hand this time. “Maybe we can talk again?”

His lips curled up with the hint of a smile, “Yeah, I’d like that,” he shook my hand solidly, “nice meeting you too Gene.”

Then he was off to ride out to the North pasture.

It’d be later that night when I would meet up with Heath again.

I heard Nick go outside sometime after dinner. I figured he had a horse to check on somewhere. But the next thing I knew he was shouting at the top of his lungs for Jarrod and I to come downstairs.

For the second time in the day, I was surprised to be included in on a ‘family’ meeting. And what a meeting it turned into. Heath was claiming to be some sort of long lost brother. He and Nick had obviously tangled somewhere, they both looked worse for the wear. And when Jarrod and I tromped downstairs to the sitting room, there was Heath, holding a broken bottle to keep us all at bay. And the things he’d said about Father, bottle or no bottle, the three of us wanted to tear him apart. When it was all said and done, he’d left the house, left the ranch and if he knew what was good for him, he’d have left the state of California, because knowing Nick and his temper like I did, Heath wouldn’t be safe anywhere.

But then I saw him briefly later on, when we helped our neighbors put out a fire started by the railroad men. I thought I was seeing things when he rode up with Audra and the Sheriff, but I could have been mistaken, he might have come out on his own, I didn’t know. There was so much happening. And then he was gone again the next time I looked. I saw him the next morning out at Semple’s. I’ll never forget when he came riding up like a hurricane on that Modoc pony of his. It made me smile. Here was this tough, young cowboy who stood up to me and my brothers, but was now ready to stand with us to make some sort of statement about the claims he made. I was impressed. And I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, old brother Nick might have just met his match on some new level. The days that lay ahead were going to be interesting to say the least.

* * * * * * * * *

(Victoria)

It was a rather warm evening, that first night, it was the heat that kept me awake, but it was the heated argument coming from downstairs that caused me to arise and go to my door. I heard my son Nicholas, even before I opened the door. His temperament was as loud as the valley was huge. He shouted for Jarrod, my oldest, and Eugene, my youngest, to join him downstairs. I heard the two of them pass down the hall and then opened my door, just slightly at first. Audra walked past as well, but she didn’t notice that my door had been opened.

I heard every word and then closed my door.

Did I believe it? Was there any truth to what he said? Did I not know Tom like I thought I did? The questions just kept running through my head. Sleep would not find me to be a participant on this evening. I sat on my bed, alone and cried until the tears would no longer come.

Shouts and screams of ‘Fire, fire over at one of our neighboring ranches,’ aroused me from the shocked and lonely state I was in. I quickly put on some clothes and headed downstairs. The boys were just about to ride out as I went outside. They asked me to stay at home, but I couldn’t, I needed to see for myself what the railroad was up to now. And I needed to stop thinking about the young man who had started his own fire in me. Ciego hitched up the buggy for me and off I rode.

It was sad and chaotic when I pulled up. The house and barn had been burned out and a loud discussion was beginning to erupt as to how our neighbors were going to proceed. As this was happening, Audra, the Sheriff and the young stranger who boldly made his claim just hours earlier, came riding up. My attention was quickly shifted back to the discussion at hand. My boys, my boys were demonstrating and revealing what they had inherited from their father. Arguing and defending their rights and their land. Audra came and stood beside me and a horse and rider rode off into the warm night. He left before he saw my sons, his brothers stand arm in arm, just as their father would have done, to protect and defend what they believed in.

When he left, I noticed he left in the direction of our ranch. I told Audra that I was going home and that she should ride home with one or all of her brothers. She agreed to and I left.

He left the front door open when he came back into our house. I was only moments behind him in entering. I’m not sure what he came back for, because when I saw him he was almost in the foyer about to head out again. He stopped when he saw the bowl of fruit. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. He removed his hat and filled it to overflowing with all but a few selections, that he left in the bowl. I smiled as I watched him, but it quickly turned to pity as I thought that here was a child of Tom’s who was obviously hungry. A child of Tom’s I thought. What could I do for this child of Tom’s?

In but just those few moments, when he didn’t know I watched him, something came over me, I don’t think I’d even be able to fully explain it. With my own children it was easy to see glimpses of both Tom and I in each of them and how much they changed and grew through the years. They were traits that any child might pick up from their parent. But, in this young, blonde man who now had turned and was ready to leave the house, I saw something entirely different.

I knew Tom Barkley at 24 and this young man who walked toward me, just as bold and dignified as anyone I’d ever seen, had transformed himself into that Tom Barkley, the Tom that I knew at 24. I wasn’t imagining it or hoping it was so, quite the contrary, I didn’t want to see or to believe it, but there in human flesh before me was Tom, only he’d never known Tom. How had he picked up these traits? It was becoming clear to me that he simple was who he claimed to be. They were things that couldn’t be learned, they were inherited and passed down from generation to generation. It was uncanny and it was so very different from the traits that Jarrod, Nick, Audra and Eugene carried. It wasn’t learned and mimicked, it was as if Tom was actually present in this young man. And the sad thing was that neither of them knew it. Only I did. How could I tell him that?

I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t know how to ask him to stay either. I told him briefly about Tom and then, because I didn’t know what else to say, I told him what I would expect of him if he were my son. It was the only way I could think of connecting with him.

I could tell that he drank in every word I said and whether it was fear or anger or pride, he couldn’t or wouldn’t respond. He merely left.

That was something else I’d seen the 24-year-old Tom Barkley do when my own father wouldn’t let me marry him when I was 18.

Did I convince him to stay, to fight, to live as his father had done? Would that be the one and only time I’d see this child of Tom’s? Did he believe that Tom was indeed his father and that my children were his siblings? Did he want to get to know them? Did he want to make his way in life on this ranch? It was a warm, restless night of unanswered questions.

Nick knocked on my door when they had returned from Semple’s the next day. It was nearly noon. He’d told me that Jarrod had been grazed by a bullet, and that he and Eugene were fine. Gene had ridden into town for the doctor. And Jarrod, Jarrod had insisted that Heath come home with them. I could see that it infuriated Nick beyond belief. He didn’t even try to explain who exactly Heath was. They could sense that I knew by now, though everything was kept hush hush. I must say it warmed my heart to hear that Jarrod believed it enough to bring him home and deep down, I knew that Nick would come around in time. It didn’t surprise me that Jarrod had brought him home. His education forced him to look at things from all sides. And by now, he’d taken the time to think the situation through. I asked Nick where he was and he reluctantly told me that he was with Audra and she was making him lunch.

I opted to let the two of them spend time together and went to check on Jarrod. Nick decided to wait in his own room until Dr. Merar showed up.

Jarrod sat up in bed reading some work material when I came in.

“You should be resting,” I gently scolded him.

“It’s just a nick mother,” he said, putting his papers in his lap.

“Even so, your work can wait.”

He could sense whatever apprehension it was that I carried right away. He didn’t know how much of last night’s conversation I had heard or that I had spoken with the young man myself. He looked down for a second thinking of how to proceed.

“Mother, I’m sure you heard us shouting last night and you know about Heath.”

“Yes Jarrod, I know.” I sat down on his bed.

“He showed up at Semple’s this morning, and he stood with us,” he paused, “there’s something to what he says and how he acts, well I believe him Mother. That’s why I brought him back,” he reached over and took my hand in his. “I know how much this will hurt you, but if he’s my brother, I can’t turn my back on that. Father wouldn’t want that.”

I gave his hand a squeeze of understanding.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he said.

“It’s alright Jarrod,” I began. “You did the right thing.”

“But I know it will hurt you and that’s the last thing I would ever want to do.”

“How will it hurt me Jarrod?” I asked him.

“Mother, people will talk, it won’t be a secret. Well, it could ruin our family’s reputation.”

“I think it would ruin our family’s reputation if we showed him the door. That wouldn’t say much for our ‘family’ would it?” I emphasized family.

“Let me find out more about him first, let me check his story, I’m sure he won’t mind, I think I can make him go along with us. And if it turns out to be so, we’ll deal with it then.”

“Jarrod, you do what you feel you have to do, go ahead and check, but I don’t think it’s right to ‘withhold’ his birthright from him. He has a right to say he’s Heath Barkley now and not wait until we give him permission.”

He studied my face for any kind of clue. “I was only trying to protect you Mother. I know this will be difficult for you.”

I sat straight up and grinned at him, “Whatever made you think that I couldn’t handle something like this? I’m not a frail woman.”

“You believe him, don’t you? And you haven’t even met him yet? I don’t understand?”

“I haven’t met him formally, but when I came back last night, he was here, and yes, I believe him.”

Jarrod didn’t question my beliefs or motives again.

Dr. Merar came and I followed Eugene downstairs to the kitchen. I heard him tell Audra that the Doctor had arrived and both of them went back upstairs to be with Jarrod. That left me alone with Heath. I could see that he was nervous and unsure of being alone with me.

“I best be gettin’ on my way ma’am. Thanks for offering me lunch. And I hope Jarrod’ll be fine,” he said, standing up from the table when I walked in.

“Jarrod told me that he invited you to come home and that you’d accepted, I assumed you were staying.”

“Ma’am?” he questioned.

“I’ll have Silas fix you up a room, or you can go choose whichever one you’d like, if you prefer?”

“You’re asking me to stay?” he asked with uncertainty to his voice.

I nodded, “I assumed when all the shouting was going on last night and you said you wanted to claim your heritage and your name, that was your intention, that you wanted to be part of this family. That means moving here into the house and indeed being a part.”

“But you don’t even know me,” he said.

“I’m Victoria Barkley. Tom Barkley was my husband and you say that he was your father. Therefore my children are your half-brothers and half-sister. They are your family.” I held out my hand for him to shake.

He was a bit stunned by my brashness.

“I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you if I knew your name,” I added.

He swallowed hard and licked his lips and wiped his hand on his pant leg, “Heath, Heath Barkley, that’s my name.” He took my hand and shook it. I smiled at him and saw that look again. It was the same as the 24-year-old Tom Barkley I knew.

* * * * * * * * *

(Nick)

I had heard the talk. Most of the hired hands were whispering about it. The railroad was bringing more people in Stockton than ever before. They were mobilizing for something. No one knew exactly for what or when they’d strike. Tensions were mounting. My older brother Jarrod, a lawyer, was due in on the afternoon train. Hopefully he’d have some good news for all of us here in the valley. I decided to ride in myself to meet him and to find out what was going on.

When I got to Pine River I ran into my first bit of trouble. Some hard-luck, snot nosed, cowboy stood on his pony on the other side of the bridge that I was about to cross. Trouble was there was only room for one of us to get across at a time and neither of us was backing down. We got into a bit of a jawing contest and just as things really began to heat up, the bridge gave way under the strain of both of us and crashed apart, sending both of us plunging into the river’s icy waters. I suppose I needed the dousing to cool down, but what I really wanted instead of going for a swim, was to go and lay into him for causing the bridge to collapse. But I needed to get into town, so I let it go and I turned back and watched him ride off, just as cool and collected as he’d been standing on the bridge.

I just about tore into him again when he rode up to the house later that afternoon, with the gall of asking for work. I could have taken him and personally tossed him all the way back to Pine River, but Jarrod recognized him from something and told me to sign him on. It took me by surprise, because Jarrod usually gave no caution when it came to running the ranch. He knew that was my territory. I guess I was stunned by it, but with Jarrod being older and all, I figured I’d sign this boy on and would deal with him myself at a time and place of my choosing. I told the kid to go and stow his stuff in the bunkhouse.

The more time I spent thinking about this cowboy and after all the talk about the railroad and then this kid shows up, I began to think he had something to do with it. I’d find out soon enough. The longer the night drew on, the more it began to get to me. Was this kid some sort of spy? It couldn’t be a coincidence that he showed up here at the same time the railroad was causing trouble in the valley again. Last time they had, my Father had gotten killed. I wasn’t willing to stand by and let something like that happen again.

Virtually everyone was asleep when I went outside to the bunkhouse. I thought I’d have to wake him up, but as I snuck in, I could see he was still awake. I put my hand over his mouth, handed him his shirt and told him to follow me to the barn.

His smart-aleck mouth was bound to get him into a heap of trouble, if he lived much longer. We started fighting right away. I wanted to know who he was, what he was doing here on my ranch and who he was working for. I stopped my attack long enough to hear his answer.

His answer still resounds in my head. “YOUR FATHER’S BASTARD SON”

My brother? No, absolutely not. There was no possible way. An illegitimate son of my father, my hero, Thomas Barkley. I think I staggered a bit, whether it was from fighting with him, or the shock that he hit me with. I stood there and watched him closely for what seemed to be an endless amount of time, breathing heavily from the exhaustive battle we had just been in.

His look of defiance and utter disdain for my father and for me just made me all the madder.

I shook my head no and reached down and grabbed him by his shirt collar, hauled him up to his feet and I reared back again with my right hand and delivered another punishing blow to his face. He attempted to block whatever I was throwing at him and he did from time to time, getting in a few licks back at me. He was much stronger than he appeared to be, for I thought I could easily finish him off, throw him on his Modoc, slap his butt and be rid of him, but he kept fighting and he kept taking whatever I dished out at him.

I delivered a shot that sent him up and over a stall fence and he obviously landed wrong and let out a cry of agony. I walked over to him and was about to finish him off once and for all, when he held out his hands and arms as protection. He had something to say.

“You can kill me for all I care. I did what I set out to do. I claimed my heritage, this name. I never asked for any of it, it’s just the way it all came to happen and I was the result. As long as one of you knows, that’s enough. You’ll always wonder now, just like I been wondering my whole life. That’s good enough for me.”

I watched him sit there, beaten half to death, dropping his arms down in defeat, but he still watched me with that look of defiance in his eyes.

“I don’t believe a word of it and I never will,” I answered him. I reached down and picked him up off the ground and practically dragged him into the house.

I shoved him into the sitting room and shouted for Jarrod and Eugene and we went around the whole story again. Jarrod tried to buy him off. I told him to get off the ranch and never set foot on it again. He left the money and walked out.

Hours later I sat beneath the portrait of my father. He was right. I wondered.

* * * * * * * * *

(Nick)

The next morning was pretty much a blur to me. The railroad’s hired men came and we got into it with them out at Semple’s. I remember one minute I was telling a tale about my exploits with a cat and some very angry claws, to which my brother Jarrod chimed in and tried to twist around the meaning of my story I was telling and then the next minute I saw that mouthy, blonde cowboy come riding up like he had a tornado attached to his horse’s tail. He rode up to our side and dismounted along with that slick Mexican rifle he carried. How’d he’d heard about this little ‘meeting’ or why he’d shown up, I didn’t know why, but I wasn’t gonna argue about having another gun on our side right at the moment.

I watched him take up a spot and it brought a flood of last night’s memories back and I wondered if he was just trying to be a smart aleck or if he really thought by being here he could try to prove his point that he was a son of my father. I wasn’t sure. I know I didn’t want to believe a word of what he said.

Lost in those thoughts, I stared out to see the railroad’s hired hands approaching and then the shooting began. When it was all over, Jarrod had taken a bullet in his arm, Gene and I were fine, but the land was strewn with dead and wounded bodies. That kid was off sitting by himself, he looked like he’d made it through without a scratch as well. I went over to have a look at Jarrod’s arm, but he sort of brushed me aside and went over to the blonde. I was hoping he’d tell him to get lost, instead I found out that he had invited him back to the ranch.

Was this older and so-called wiser brother of mine beginning to believe the hard luck story he spouted? He wasn’t saying much to me about it, I attributed it to him being shot. I tried to convince Jarrod to go into Stockton to see the doc, but he’d have none of that. He wanted to go home, so I sent Gene to town to fetch Dr. Merar and Jarrod and I rode for home. The blonde followed back at a distance behind us. I think he could sense that I wanted to speak to Jarrod alone. He was still within earshot, but that didn’t matter much to me. I didn’t care if he heard any of what I had to say.

I started in on Jarrod right away.

“Are you completely out of your mind, or did a bullet hit your brain too?”

Jarrod chuckled, which always made me mad. Being laughed at by anybody always made me mad and usually I’d use my fists to convince them not to laugh at me ever again, but the only person who ever got away with it was Jarrod. He shot back, “I’m not out of my mind Nick.” He managed to keep his even temper. Like to drive me crazy I swear.

“So you believe his story?”

“I’m beginning too,” he answered.

“And what do you base it on counselor? He doesn’t even look like us,” I blasted saying the first thing that popped into my head.

“No, he doesn’t look like me or you or Eugene, but he does resemble Audra and Uncle Jim too, or have you closed your eyes to that?”

“Just because he’s blonde? Half of Stockton is blonde, that doesn’t mean anything! The whole town’s not related to us.”

“It’s more than that Nick, but I want to hear more of what he has to say. Don’t you?”

He asked me a question that I didn’t want to answer, so I didn’t, I ignored it. “Well, what about Mother and Audra?”

“I think they should hear it for themselves and make up their own minds.”

His cool-headed logic was really starting to get on my nerves.

“Make up their own minds?” I shouted so loud that half the valley probably heard me. I lowered it in time that I began to talk again. “You do understand what this will likely do to our Mother, don’t you?” I didn’t wait for a response, “And our Father’s reputation and our name in this valley and…”

He interrupted me there, “and his name too.”

I rolled my eyes at his attorney ‘reasoning’ and mumbled to myself, “I think your brain did get hit by a bullet, cuz you’re thinking so whacky. You do believe him.”

I heard him chuckle again, which if he wasn’t riding around with a slug in his arm, I would have tackled him off that horse and wiped the grin off his face. Older brother or not, I was losing my patience with him.

We rode back in silence the rest of the way.

Much later in the day, after the doc had been out to the house and gone, I went out to the barn to check on some new horses. I was surprised to see the kid was out there, brushing down his Modoc. I figured he’d be upstairs hiding out in the room that my Mother said he could use. I knew he didn’t want to run into me anytime soon. He saw me come in and kept grooming his horse. I took a few steps closer to him.

“Listen, I’m not up to fighting you anymore today,” he began, setting down the brush on the back of the horse, preparing to defend himself if need be.

The trouble was I didn’t want to fight him either, least wise not at the present moment, but I still wasn’t ready to believe any little part of his story. I don’t know exactly what I wanted. Maybe it was just for him to be gone and for our life to go back to the way it had been. I didn’t say anything at first. He went back to brushing the horse.

“I reckon you and I should just stay out of each other’s way,” he was saying.

“You shouldn’t get too comfortable around here, I don’t think you’ll be staying long,” I answered. I didn’t like being told what to do on my own ranch.

“I think I’ll stay as long as I want, some people in this family want me too, including your own mother.”

“You leave her out of this,” I began by pointing a finger at him, feeling my blood boil. “They’re only being kind, once we find out who you really are, I’ll see to it that you get me to personally escort you off this ranch and out of this valley forever.”

“Then you better get used to me being here, because every word of what I say is true and I got a whole lifetime of living to do and I aim to do it right here on this ranch. It’s just as much mine as it is yours,” he said.

The tension was mounting and the temperature was rising between the two of us. I’d say one thing for him, he didn’t back down from anything or anyone. He didn’t appear to look that tough from the outside. He had something deep down that wouldn’t or couldn’t allow him to let go of something.

“You don’t have any rights here, you have no name, and no claim to anything,” I didn’t back down either. “You don’t have any proof.”

“I got the proof, my dying Mother was all the proof I needed.”

“Too bad she’s not here anymore to tell her own story,” I replied.

His eyes narrowed, filled with hatred and he shot back, “well then, neither is that father of OURS,” he emphasized the ‘ours.’ “We’ll never know why he laid down with my mother will we?”

That did it. I wasn’t going to stand by and listen to some mine-town, punk cowboy drag my father through the mud. He had far too much nerve for his own good. I was ready to tear into him again and just as I began to step toward him, my mother came into the barn. “Nick, Jarrod, wants to see you,” she said She must have sensed what was about to happen because she came right over to where we both stood. She knew neither of us would swing with her standing there. I think we both waited for her to leave. Neither one of us moved a muscle. Our eyes were fixed on each other. “Nick,” she called out again. “Go see Jarrod, right now.”

I looked away, toward her voice, “yes Mother,” I said, turning and walking away from him and out of the barn, into the house.

Jarrod was downstairs in the sitting room, pouring himself a scotch when I came in, he called me over.

“Drink Nick?” he asked.

“I’ll pour my own,” I said, picking up the whiskey bottle and filling a nearby glass. I drank it down quickly.

“My my, thirsty this afternoon aren’t you?”

I shot a look of disdain at him and poured myself another. “What did you want?”

“Me? Nothing, why?”

I shook my head, now knowing that my own mother had tricked me. What I really wanted to do was to go back outside and bash that boy’s head in.

“How can you believe a word of what that boy says?” I was incensed now. “You can’t honestly believe that just because he was carrying that newspaper clipping around that he is actually Father’s son.”

“No, Nick, that’s not the only reason,” Jarrod said.

“Well what then? Was there something else he told you? What?”

Jarrod walked over to a chair and sat down. “It wasn’t something he told me, it was something Father once said to me.”

“He told you about it?” I was flabbergasted. I thought I’d been Father’s confidant all these years. Jarrod had no real interest in the land or the ranch, other than as a business, and he and Father got along well enough, but Father and I, we were cut from the same cloth, we shared so much, or so I thought. We’d spent countless hours, days, weeks and months riding every part of this ranch, just he and I. There were times when I felt that we were one.

“He didn’t tell me about it exactly. But there was one night, the night I graduated from law school. We went out to celebrate in San Francisco. I think we both had too much to drink and he alluded to some indiscretions he’d made in his life.”

“Well, what did he say?” I had to know, I went and sat down right across from him.

“He mentioned Strawberry and a couple of other towns. And it wasn’t just women, it was some shady business dealings he’d made as well. He wasn’t proud of it. I didn’t fully understand what he said at the time, I think it was the whiskey that clouded my head that night, but I never forgot it either. He spoke in generalities, so I never knew of anything for certain. I think the point he was trying to make to me was to not let those things happen to me. He told me he regretted them,” Jarrod explained.

I think my whole world crashed down around me at that very moment. I thought I knew my father better than anyone did, but now I didn’t know if I ever knew him at all. I still tried to find the doubt. “But it’s still not proof Jarrod, don’t you see?”

“It’s proof enough for me Nick, along with what he says and the fact that he looks like a Barkley, and because he had the guts to ride in here and tell us and stand with us today. It all proves it to me.”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“We’ll all have to decide for ourselves, Nick, but if it comes down to a vote, I’ll vote that he stays. I know he’s my brother, just as sure as I know you are.”

I stood up and went and poured myself another drink and drank it down. I kept my back to him and said, “I can’t Jarrod, I can’t believe any of it, least not yet, not about Father. He’s no brother of mine.” I set the glass down and went upstairs to my room.

* * * * * * * * *

(Victoria)

After Nick left the barn, I turned and started to go back into the house as well. But Heath started to talk so I turned back toward him. He cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry that you had to hear that. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that,” he tried to explain. He could barely look at me. “I don’t want to hurt you or any of ya.” He turned back to his face his horse so he didn’t have to see me standing there. I knew he was horribly ashamed of what he’d said to Nick about Tom and his own mother.

How could I tell him what I heard him say did hurt me, and yet, as much as it hurt me, I knew it hurt him twice as much. I wanted to take him into my arms as I would with any of my own children and tell him that everything would be all right and what Tom had done didn’t matter. I was just as torn apart over this as he was, as Nick and Jarrod and Gene and Audra were too. It hurt us all in ways we couldn’t have imagined. Now, we’d have to accept it and recover from it, together. We’d all suffered a terrible shock that hurt worse than any physical beating ever could. How could I reach him and make him see that?

Emotion stirred in my voice as I took a step closer to him, I so wanted to reach out and put my hand on his shoulder, but I held back. I didn’t think he’d want me ‘mothering’ him.

“Heath,” I started, my voice cracking, “Heath, please turn around, please listen to me.”

He did so very slowly and I saw him swallow hard as he knew he’d have to look at me. He shook his head and gazed down at the floor below him, “I don’t want to hurt you. I shouldn’t have come, I should have just let it go.”

He stood there rambling and then he reached down and grabbed his saddle and began to saddle up his horse.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“I’m gonna leave. I think that’s best for everyone, before I cause any more pain,” he explained.

That did it as far as I was concerned. I wasn’t going to dance around the issue with him any longer. I was going to treat him just like I treated my own four. I walked right up to him and the horse and put my hand over his where he was tightening the strap. I made him stop. The tone of my voice changed from compassion to stern. “You’re not going anywhere.”

He stopped and just watched me and waited for me to continue to say whatever it was I was going to say.

“Did you think that riding in here and telling us was going to be easy?” I asked him.

I saw him look away, as if he was thinking of how to answer, “I didn’t know what to expect I guess.”

“How did you think we’d respond? Now be honest Heath, did you think we’d welcome you with open arms. You read the newspaper clipping about your father, you knew he had a wife and four other children. You knew he was a respected man in this valley. How would any family react to what you told us when you rode in?”

“I figured you’d all be upset, but I guess I thought we’d be able to talk about it and discuss it and try to make sense of it all. I didn’t think I’d have to be on guard all the time and I didn’t think I’d be in a gunfight against the likes of the railroad before anyone in town even knew who I was,” he said bluntly.

I had to stifle a smile that was forming. He certainly had a wry sense of humor. “I’m just asking you to see our side of things, as we’re trying to see your side too.”

“I think Nick’s only seeing his side, I don’t imagine I’ll ever break through to him, no matter what I do or say.”

“I think you’re wrong there too Heath, Nick can be hot tempered, but he’s honest and loyal and loving beyond compare. You’ll come to see that. Both of you carry so many of your father’s traits.” He turned away from me again. Something I said had upset him again. “Heath what is it?”

“I don’t want to be told that I’m like him in any way. I don’t look at him the way everyone in this valley does. I’ve hated him for so many years. I can’t just let that go overnight.” He left his horse be and walked away from me, out of the stall. “Don’t you see, it’s not just about you accepting me into this family, it’s me trying to figure out how to get rid of all this hate. I’ve got questions that I’ll never find the answers to. I don’t know the same man you all knew.” He paused and thought about what to say next, “I didn’t come looking for a father, I came looking for the name that I’m entitled to carry.”

“So that’s it, nothing else matters to you but this name?” I followed out right after him. “Because if that’s all you really want, take it now and ride out. You can have it. I thought that you wanted more, I guess I was wrong.” I continued walking past him, now I was going to leave.

I heard him let out a deep breath. “I’d just like to hear someone say they believe me, to tell me they want me to stay, to let me be a part of all this. That’s all.” I stopped walking and heard him go back to his horse.

Before I could answer him and say what he wanted to hear, Jarrod had walked into the barn and spoke, “I believe you Heath, I believe you are my brother and I want you to stay and be a part of all this and more.”

He turned to see Jarrod standing behind him and I could tell they both gave each other a smile.

* * * * * * * * *

(Heath)

My head was spinning with everything imaginable. Sometimes I wondered what ever got into me, what possessed me to come riding up to this ranch, to this house and do what I did. I think maybe I was loco at the time. I really don’t know what came over me or if I really thought doing it would work.

I’m 24, my mother was gone, and just before she died, she managed to ‘tell’ me who my father was. I picked up her bible and out fell the article on Tom Barkley. I studied the elderly face, looking to see a piece of me, but I couldn’t find it, and then I read the words and I let them sink in. Devoted husband, loving father, successful businessman and friend to the valley. He wasn’t none of those things to me or my mother. He was nothing. And when I looked back at her, to ask her about him, she was gone. I didn’t have any answers, just more questions than I’d had in all my 24 years. All I was left with was a burning rage. And it began to consume me.

I left Strawberry after burying her and wandered around for several weeks. I made my life of playing cards, getting angry, fighting and drinking in order to forget. I didn’t want to hear the questions.

How did they meet?

What had happened between the two of them?

Did he love her?

Did she love him?

Why did he leave?

Did he know about me?

It all pounded in my head and even more.

No matter what I did to forget, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be alone, and yet that’s where I kept finding myself, alone.

It wasn’t the kind of life I wanted.

I decided that on a Tuesday morning when I woke up on the outskirts of Sonoma. I was dirty, hungry, hung over and I’d been rolled for the $364 I carried.

That was enough. With the taste of blood in my mouth, from a cut lip I had received and couldn’t remember how, I wanted to know before I died myself, just who I was. I had to find out. If Tom Barkley was my father, I wanted everything that article said he was. It was more than a name, more than a heritage that I wanted. I wanted, and needed to belong.

I’d worked all kinds of spreads, mostly in Northern California. I worked a lot of jobs, in the mines, scouted wagon trains, riding stage. I’d done just about everything, even fought in the war back east. Most of my life, that’s all I could remember, was the work. I never had it soft or easy, I don’t think I’d know what those two words even meant, except maybe to say they described my Mama. She was soft and so easy going. I’d have done anything for her. She gave me everything a boy could need or want. Clean clothes, good hot food, a roof over my head. She took me to church, sent me to school and showered me with love from sun up to sun down and kept watch over me while I slept through the night.

So was going to find out who I was disrespecting her memory? She’d never talked about my father ever before. I remember asking about him when I was about 6 or 7. And she told me that not all little boys had fathers, some didn’t have mothers and some didn’t have any parents at all. She told me about the orphanages and said that that would never happen to me. She told me that I should thank God that I had a mama to take care of me. I didn’t really understand it, but I did like she told me, because she was my mama. After that I don’t remember asking about him ever again.

I don’t think it was disrespecting her. If she didn’t want me to know, she’d never have told me to pick up that old bible of hers.

I’d heard of the Barkley’s and their ranch. Anyone in San Joaquin knew of them. Besides cattle and horses, they had interests in mining, produce, timber and land. Other than that, I didn’t know much about them. According to the article, there was a wife and four children, three sons and a daughter.

The article was wrong though, it should have said four sons.

So I rode there. I didn’t stop to eat or sleep. Sleep wasn’t coming very easy to me. I wondered what I’d say to these people. How do you tell someone you’re their brother? And what would I say to the wife? I know they’d want proof. All I could do was show them the clipping and tell them about my mother. Would that be enough? Would they believe any of it? My head swirled with all of it as I rode toward Stockton.

In order for them to believe, I had to believe it myself.

As I got closer, I decided I’d ride up and ask for a job first. I’d know why I was there, but I didn’t see an immediate need to let on to them why I rode in. I’d done my share of ranch work and I was confident that I could do the job. None of the Barkley’s would be the wiser.

I’d ease my way in on ‘em. And if things didn’t work out, I could just as easy ride out as I’d be riding in.

That was my plan.

A little thing called the railroad changed all that.

I’d barely set my Modoc’s hoof onto the property, when I got dunked in a river, raced against a train and got thrashed at by a blonde. It wasn’t even noon and I’d met a brother, won a bet for another brother and tangled with a feisty sister in the most oddest of situations. At the time, the only one I figured out was the girl. She told me that Tom Barkley was indeed her father as well. I kept my secret from her.

When I made it up to the house, the three boys came out to ‘greet’ me. The river ‘rat’ was the one who did the hiring. I’d stand a better chance of getting hired by the devil himself. But then in chimed the brother I won the money for by racing the train. He tells the river ‘rat’ to hire me on. The other boy doesn’t say anything, until he comes out to the bunkhouse later on and sits down pretty as you please and talks and talks.

I did a little work that afternoon, got myself some grub and tried to get some shut-eye. But the thoughts were still spinning inside my head.

Next thing I knew, Nick, the river ‘rat’ was dragging me out to the barn. We tangled but good and he thought I was a railroad spy. He’d have liked to kill me, so I let loose and told him exactly who I was.

It was back into the house for a ‘friendly’ discussion between us boys. We kept it peaceful and I told them my story. They offered me money to keep my mouth shut and leave. They didn’t hear me at all, they didn’t believe me.

I left. I’d never get the answers, I’d never belong to that family.

I rode into Stockton and got a cheap room at the hotel. I was putting up my horse for the night when I spotted the blonde, my sister, comes riding up. Cowboys came after her from every direction and she couldn’t fight them all off, so I went and grabbed her and took her up to my room. That spunky little tornado tried to kiss me, her own brother. These cowboys from the street busted in on us and started to beat me up and then the sheriff came in, it was all a bit confusing.

She covered for me with the sheriff and the three of us set out for the ranch to explain it to her family. We spotted a fire. The railroad was at it again. I rode up with them to the burning ranch, but I didn’t stay long, they were talking about how great Tom Barkley was and I didn’t want to hear it.

I rode back to the hours to get the money and the article. I figured it was the least they could do for me. I didn’t know she’d followed me. The wife stood in the doorway, as I took their money and some fruit. She lectured me on the finer points of being a Barkley. And if I didn’t know better, it almost sounded like she wanted me to stay.

I rode off back to Stockton and the town was buzzing with talk of what the railroad was going to do at some nearby ranch the next morning. The Barkley’s were going to lead the rest of the ranchers against the railroad. It all tied into what Mrs. Barkley said. I knew I had to go and fight with them and stand beside them. Maybe they’d believe then, that I was one of them.

The oldest one came around first. Right after the gunfight, he offered me a cigar and sat down beside me. We didn’t say anything to each other, till he got up to leave and he asked me to come with.

I started to believe.

* * * * * * * * *

(Jarrod)

And there he stood in the doorway of the barn, telling me straight out that he believed that I was indeed his brother. I was ready to leave, ready to pack up and head out and try to forget that I ever came to this valley. He’d just given me something that I’d wanted ever since I was a child old enough to start wondering. All I could do was stand there and smile at him.

“Whatta ya say we take a walk Heath?” he was asking.

“Now Jarrod, Doctor Merar said you should rest,” Mrs. Barkley was saying.

“Mother, I’m fine, and besides, we won’t go far and I’m sure Heath will watch out for me,” he left his statement open ended.

I nodded right away, “I sure will, that’s a promise.”

She could only smile at both of us. I knew both of them were doing it just for me. For the first time in this new life of mine, I felt very special, almost blessed you could say. There were only three other people in the world that ever made me feel like that until now, my own mother, Hannah and Aunt Rachel.

Jarrod walked out into the sunshine and I followed, reluctant at first, not because I didn’t want to go with him, but because it was such a new feeling, it almost scared me. She stood in the barn and watched us walk out together. We headed out back, down a beaten path, into a nearby wooded area.

He must have known that I wouldn’t start a conversation, because he watched me closely and then started one up himself.

He had an amazing knack of reading me like a book. I had no clue how to start talking to any of them now that they knew who I was. Maybe it was just fear of saying something stupid, I don’t know. There was a lot I wanted to say, but getting started, that was the trick.

“Heath, you don’t need to be afraid to say what’s on your mind, least wise, not around me. I can’t speak for the rest of them,” he gestured back to the house, “but as for me, I want you to know that you can say whatever’s on your mind. I’m not going to judge you or ridicule you and whatever you and I say, we keep it right here, just between us. I’d like us just to get to know each other, to become brothers and maybe even friends too.”

I listened to ever word he spoke and took it all in. Did he know how powerful his thirty-second statement was in my mind? I gave him a crooked smile and nodded. “Thanks Jarrod,” I started. I wanted to tell him how much it meant. “That’s very kind of you to say and I feel the same way. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better and everyone,” now it was my turn to gesture back toward the house. “I’ve always wondered what having a real family would be like with brothers and sisters and I want to thank YOU personally for showing me how wonderful it is.”

He smiled back at me and put his arm around my shoulder as we continued to walk. “Heath, it took a great deal of courage on your part to come here and tell us and then today when you stood with us. Well, I guess I can just see my, I mean our father in every part of that. Not because it’s something of his you carry or you were born with, it’s, well, it’s just you. You’re a fine man and I stand to reason it’s on count of your mother mostly. I’m proud to call you my brother.”

I hadn’t asked any of them yet, but I felt the time and place was right, right now. “Jarrod, what was he like?” I just sort of blurted it out, but it felt right to ask.

I felt him take his hand away. We came up to some boulders and he sat down on one of them. “I need a break,” he began, “and don’t you dare tell Mother either.” He looked a little pale. Maybe taking a walk with him wasn’t such a great idea, after all, he’d just gotten shot a few hours earlier.

“I can help you back,” I started, holding out my arm, “just grab on and lean on me.”

He waved it off. “I just need a few minutes to call in the reserves. Anyway, sit down, and let me see if I can even begin to answer that question you had.”

“You don’t have too,” I said. “You should be back at the house in bed, resting.”

“No, I do, you’ve been wondering that for your whole life I reckon, it’s time someone told you about him.”

“But you’re not feeling up to it, another time,” I added.

“I’m fine right now, just sit down,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out another cigar and handed it to me. “Here, this ought to take off the edge,” he pulled out another one for himself and we both lit them up. I finally sat down. “I think I found a vice, just hand you a cigar and you become putty in my hands,” he chuckled.

I shook my head and gave up a laugh. “Well, these are mighty nice cigars, a fella can’t help but enjoy them.”

“They were father’s favorite too,” he said calmly.

I nodded my understanding. It was his simple answer to what Tom Barkley was like and he began to work his way up to the more important aspects.

“I won’t lie to you Heath. The papers all make it sound like Tom Barkley was bigger than life itself, that he was almost God-like. He wasn’t. Tom Barkley wasn’t a perfect man or a perfect husband or a perfect father. He also wasn’t always a gentleman, or a philanthropic businessman. He could be mean and angry and downright abusive at times. He was a shrewd businessman, a cunning rancher and he was equally devoted to my mother and to us children

I studied him hard, I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. Everything I’d ever read about Tom Barkley, even before I knew the truth about him being my father, was that he was a great man. The entire valley worshiped him. He was almost mythical to the entire state as I grew up. Virtually every California newspaper had some article that referred to him or asked his opinion on some issue. I had stopped smoking the cigar. Jarrod had knocked out legs from the chair I had sat Tom Barkley on.

“You shouldn’t be so surprised,” he said, grinning at me. “And don’t let that cigar go to waste,” he added for good measure. I took another draw of it and continued to listen to him. “What he was to me was entirely different. You can tell that all of us children idolized him, some more than others, but the older I got, well, you just realize that your parents, well, there not perfect, they’re human just like everyone else. They make mistakes and do some unbelievable things. And aren’t we all like that?”

“Yeah I suppose,” I answered.

It was silent between us again.

“But what was he really like?” I finally asked him again.

Now it was his turn to study my face. He wore a look of puzzlement, “I’m not exactly sure what you mean Heath, what else can I tell you about him?”

I took a deep breath, “Oh, I don’t know, like did he play with you? Did he teach you how to ride and how to hunt, did he tell you stories before you went to bed and did he always have that beard and if he did, did it scratch up your face when he kissed you goodnight?” I felt like I poured part of my soul out onto the ground before us. I wanted to know what he was like in the eyes of a child. Was he what I always hoped he would be like? I knew Jarrod would keep this conversation between the two of us, because the way he felt about me, saying that I was a good man, was exactly how I felt about him. I knew I could trust him with anything.

His piercing blue eyes met mine and he let go of another smile. I think he finally realized I wanted to know what kind of a father Tom Barkley had been to his children when they were small. I don’t know why that was so important to me to know, but it was. It was everything I’d missed and I think I had some sort of dream stuck in my head and I needed to have it either confirmed or denied. I was hoping Jarrod could help.

“Growing up was terrific Heath,” he began, but he seemed reluctant to continue. I think he was afraid he’d hurt my feelings.

“It’s ok Jarrod, remember, we said anything and really, I want to know,” I met his gaze and waited for him to continue. “I have to know.”

“He did all those things and more,” he said honestly. “I can’t really recall a bad day from my childhood. When he was at home,” he took a deep breath remembering, “our house seemed so full, it busted with life at every corner. We learned to ride and rope and work and hunt and fish. He taught us how to track and how to read the signs the sky, the earth and the animals gave us. And at home, on cold or stormy nights, he’d tell us the most wonderful stories you’d ever hear. He definitely was an Irishman through and through,” he chuckled and I laughed. “He didn’t always wear the beard, but yes, he did give us all a ‘whisker rub’ from time to time.” The smile disappeared from his face, I knew he was remembering more things that time had probably pushed back into his memory. I could tell he missed him terribly.

“Jarrod, if you don’t want to tell me any more, it’s ok, I understand, they’re your memories, not mine,” I said politely.

“Nonsense, it’s good for you to know, maybe you can keep them as a memory too. I’d rather you took the good ones. Since you asked me, I have to tell you the truth. Growing up with him as my father, it was terrific. I couldn’t ask for a better example of a father or of a man.”

“Thanks Jarrod, thanks for being honest with me. It’s hard for me to think of him like that now, as a man myself, knowing that he was my father too and he wasn’t around, but for you and Nick and Audra and Gene, and your mother, I am happy.”

“And I’m sorry that you didn’t have the chance to know him. But I know that he’d be very proud of what a fine man you are,” Jarrod added, dropping the cigar butt to the ground and standing up to crush out the remaining ember. “Now, I think I better take you up on that offer of helping me back to the house, remember, not a word to Mother, or I promise that the next time I bring you out to these woods, I share another one of Father’s lessons by grabbing a branch and tanning your hide with it.” He laughed heartily and I joined in.

I knew he was kidding, but I’d certainly not tell his mother either. My first lesson in brotherhood was learning to keep promises.

* * * * * * * * *

(Nick)

I stood on the front veranda and saw the two of them approaching. They were locked in what looked to be a pretty deep conversation. Sometimes that older brother of mine could just level me without even taking a swing. I could tell just from seeing them walking together that Jarrod Thomas Barkley had fallen for this kid’s story, hook, line and sinker. And I was pretty sure if I went in to the house and took a poll, the rest of them would agree that we had a new brother in the family. By now, I’m sure Silas and all of the working hands felt the same way too.

I think if I live to be a hundred I’ll never understand how people can just jump on the bandwagon like they do.

Just as I was lost in thought, Mother stepped out onto the veranda beside me and said, “Silas said dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Have you seen Jarrod and Heath?” I pointed out to the walking path and she nodded. “Let them know when they get here, will you?”

I took a deep breath and replied, “Will that be a guest place sitting or a family place sitting?”

She had already started back into the house, but she stopped in her tracks. I knew my comment had angered her. She didn’t turn around to answer.

“In this house, Nicholas, there’s no difference.” And then she walked back into the house.

And I followed her. If everyone else could have their own say in this matter, so could I. “I’d just like to know Mother,” with added emphasis on the word Mother, “how everyone is entitled to have an opinion on this subject except for me?”

She had taken her usual spot in her chair and waited for me to pour her a sherry. I did so without thinking.

“You are entitled to your opinion Nick.”

I walked over and handed the glass to her. “Well, if I am, why is everyone treating me like I have the plague or something, just because I don’t have the same opinion everyone else does.”

“That’s all in your mind Nick, we’re not treating you differently.”

“You’re all trying to tell me how I should feel about this. Just because you’ve all accepted him doesn’t mean I have to.”

“Of course not Nick,” she said sweetly.

Her saccharine argument was really confounding me. “I can begin to understand Audra and Gene and to some extent Jarrod, but I can’t figure you out for the life of me Mother. How can you believe his story? You were married to father for nearly 27 years. Didn’t you two love each other?”

Just then Jarrod and Heath walked in and probably heard my whole tirade. I’m sure Mother saw them, but she didn’t let on that she did. Her answer was simply and succinct.

“That’s just it Nick, we did love each other. That’s why I believe.”

I rolled my eyes and wasn’t ready to accept any of it. I went back toward the liquor table and poured a healthy shot of whiskey. Jarrod stood right next to me and poured himself a bourbon. He asked Heath what he wanted.

“Whiskey sounds good,” Heath replied.

I drank down the shot and just stood their staring at him. I still wanted to tear him apart limb from limb and he stood their waiting for my brother to hand him some of our whiskey in our house and he was about to go and eat our food. I just didn’t get it. What did the others see that I didn’t?

Audra and Gene both came sauntering into the room together and I couldn’t resist adding another jibe. “So here we are, one big happy family?”

No one said anything, they all just stared at me.

I poured another shot and walked over to the fireplace and looked above the mantle that held my father’s portrait. “That is, except for the old man, right?”

The silence remained, until Jarrod decided to speak, probably on behalf of the rest of the Barkley traitors.

“Nick, that’ll be enough,” he said, very quietly.

“I don’t think it’s nearly enough, in fact, I don’t think we’ve even really begun yet, have we?” I turned to all of them and glared into each one of their faces, stopping to rest on his. His expression could have been a mirror. “Now that you’ve gotten to know each one of us, you can tell that I’m the one with the temper,” I said to him.

His lip curled up in sort of smirky smile.

“What else have you learned about us?” I prodded him. I glanced around at the others and they all had fixed their gaze upon him, waiting for him to answer.

“I’ve learned that people aren’t always what they appear to be,” he said with an air of smugness.

I looked over to Jarrod and he had an amusing smile spreading across his face. Mother’s mood hadn’t changed at all. Audra and Gene also broke into smiles.

He thought he had one-upped me. “So,” I walked right up and got into his face again, “you might NOT be our brother?”

He didn’t back down in anyway and he let out a breathy laugh, “You asked what I learned about you all. What I’ve told you about myself is the truth.”

“That’s convenient,” I stepped away and turned to face the rest of them. “Alright then, what about the rest of them?”

He didn’t answer right away, but he drank down the rest of his shot and walked over to the table and poured himself another. “Well, Jarrod, he looks for the truth in everything and expects the truth from everyone, Audra, she’s just bursting with life and energy, Gene, he’s searching for knowledge and understanding and you’re Mother, we’ll she carries all of those things and more. She loves her family.” Then he drank down the shot he poured.

“Really Nick, is all this necessary?” Audra asked.

“Yes it is,” I answered her loudly. “We’ll continue until I find out if what he’s saying is the truth or not.”

“I think he summed us all up pretty well,” Jarrod interjected. Audra tried to stifle a giggle.

“Ah, yes, and it was oh just so poetic too,” I fired back.

“Oh, Nick, this is ridiculous,” Jarrod began. “All the talking in the world isn’t going to solve anything, it’s not going to answer what you want to have answered. Sometimes you just have to believe in something.”

Silas walked into the room, and before he could say anything I piped in, “Well, I BELIEVE dinner is ready, so let’s eat and we can continue this discussion in there.”

* * * * * * * * *

(Eugene)

Dinner was amazing. Silas had prepared food fit for a kingdom of kings, but it wasn’t necessarily the food that made the evening so amazing. It was the battle that was brewing between Nick and Heath.

It was like a really live chess match and they were the only two pieces left standing. And no one knew what was coming next.

I don’t think I said a word during the entire meal. I was having too much fun watching and listening to the two of them. Every so often Jarrod, Mother or Audra would get in a word edgewise, but clearly, every part of this meal belonged to Nick and Heath.

I felt like I should have been taking notes for a great American novel that I would someday write.

I think it was when the soup was being ladled out when things really began to get interesting.

“So, Heath,” Nick started in emphasizing his name, “what is your take on me? I mean you mentioned all the others, I feel a bit put out.”

I quickly looked at Heath, his lips curved up to a smirk. “What I said was people aren’t always what they appear to be.”

“Thank you Silas,” Nick said as Silas served him a bowl of soup. “And just what does that mean exactly?” Nick picked up his spoon and served himself up a tasty sip. “What does that have to do with me?”

“Nick, we say grace first, remember?” Mother side stepped both of them for the moment.

Nick set his spoon down and folded his hands. “Thank you for this food heavenly Father. Amen.”

My mother gave him an extended blink of her eyes, which generally meant that she didn’t approve of what you just did, but that it was no use in arguing with you.

“So? What did you mean?” Nick posed to Heath again.

Heath took his time and tasted his soup and when Silas came in carrying some more platters of food, Heath stopped and complimented him. “The soup is very good Silas. I hope you’ll tell me how you made it later?”

Silas smiled warmly and said, “Shore, enough, Mr. Heath, I’d be glad to.”

It was several more spoonfuls before Heath answered Nick. “I think what it generally means is that I’m sure you’re much different than you’re appearing to me right now.”

Audra giggled and Nick shot a dissatisfied look her way.

“I’m sorry Nick, but I think Heath is correct. We’ve all seen this act of yours in one-way or another before. And we know there’s another side as well,” Audra explained.

Now Nick was really disgusted, “Well thank you very much for that little Sister.”

“I’m only speaking the truth, which just happens to be the hot topic this evening,” she added, almost surprised with her own wit.

“I’m certainly glad someone else brought the truth into this whole mess, because isn’t that what this whole thing is about?” Nick’s tone got louder and louder.

“Nick, we’re all sitting inches apart, there’s no need to yell,” my mother reminded him.

“Nick, we’ve been through this, there’s no way to ever really know,” Jarrod interjected.

“And I don’t buy that for a second. You’re a lawyer for crying out loud, there must be something you can do to check this whole preposterous story,” Nick shouted back, barely letting Jarrod finish his sentence.

I glanced over to Heath, who had his head down and was eating ravenously.

“I’m not going to check Nick, if you want someone to try, go and hire someone. I believe him and I don’t need to waste time searching for something that isn’t out there,” Jarrod said.

I kept focused on Heath. I think he was both starving for nutritious food and a bit timid to jump into this conversation, and I couldn’t really blame him. I never attempted to get between Jarrod and Nick when the two of them were locking horns.

“That’s just wonderful, tell me why we spent all that money for you to go to Berkley again? I thought it was so that you could handle our legal matters,” Nick bellowed.

Mother threw him another look, which he all but ignored.

The rest of us busily passed plates of food around. Amazingly enough all of us had huge appetites.

“I don’t think this is a legal matter. I think it’s a personal matter,” Jarrod said calmly and succinctly.

“You and your fancy word play, you always fall back on that when you have no other argument. You certainly don’t sound like a brother of mine talking,” Nick replied.

“Well then, Brother Nick,” he emphasized the word Brother, “Perhaps you’d like to have my background investigated too. Or Gene’s or Audra’s? And while we’re at it Nick, maybe you aren’t really a Barkley either,” Jarrod’s anger matched Nick’s. “Make sure you hire someone to check out yourself too.”

Heath stopped eating and looked around the entire table from face to face.

“It’s been a long day, I’m gonna head up to bed, would you all excuse me please?” he asked, his eyes coming to rest on my mother.

“Certainly Heath. I’ll have Silas bring you some extra blankets for tonight, it’s going to get chilly.”

“Thank you ma’am,” he said. And then he stood up and looked at each of us again. “I told you all the proof I had, I told you everything I knew. Some of you believe it, some are still deciding, some may never believe.” He paused and swallowed hard. “But I’m here to stay. Tom Barkley was my father. That’s enough for me.” Silas walked back into the room. “The dinner was wonderful Silas, I look forward to eating many more.” Silas nodded to him. “Goodnight, I’ll see you all in the morning.” And out he went.

“For the love of heaven Nick, why do you always have to be like that?” Jarrod asked him.

“Stop me if I’m wrong, but this is the first time some stranger has come in here claiming to be our brother. So don’t give me that, ‘I’m always like that,’ you sound like Audra now,” Nick answered.

Mother had enough of the bickering and interrupted them both. “Nick, what will it take for you to believe?”

Nick finished eating the piece of beef that he had stuffed in his mouth. He looked straight at her and said, “I don’t know Mother, I don’t know.”

* * * * * * * * *

(Audra)

For the first time in about the last twenty-five minutes, the mood around the table changed completely. And a strained and somber silence engulfed the room.

I kept my head down and focused on the uneaten food on my plate for a moment. Even I, who usually blurted out anything that came to my mind, was rendered speechless. I know this was an agonizing time for all of us, but for the most part we all had begun to take what had happened in stride and move forward from it, all that is except for my brother Nick. No matter what we did or said, nothing was helping him. I came to believe that he’d have to just come to accept it in some way on his own, without any of us doing or saying anything to him.

Right now, it just broke my heart.

I glanced up from my uneaten food and looked over to him. He was eating quickly, not bothering to taste anything, just shoving forkfuls of food into his already full mouth. He just needed to be doing something, so he wouldn’t have to be thinking about what was bothering him.

I’d seen him in these types of moods before, but never one quite like this. I think this one was different because it had to do with Father, his own personal hero and idol, that it was truly trying for him. I wanted to make eye contact with him, just to show him that I cared, but he had a steely, glaring look in his eyes. He was shutting off the world.

I looked around and saw the others as well. Jarrod wore a look of irritation, Gene had a look of puzzled wonderment, Mother was worried and then I looked to where Heath had been sitting. There was uneaten food on his plate and the chair he had been sitting in just looked empty. Only one day had it been and to me, it seemed like he should be there now, like he’d always been there. He completed the circle.

“Mother, may I take a plate up to Heath? He hardly touched his food and he must be starving. He’s had as long a day as we all have had,” I said.

I had broken the silence. Unfortunately it became the sounding bell for Nick to start in again.

“He had a chance to eat just like the rest of us. The devil with him, let him starve if he wants to. In this house we eat our meals together, here in the dining room.”

Jarrod loudly dropped his fork on his plate trying to make some kind of statement. “Nick, you should stop while you’re ahead. You continue to say the most ridiculous things. You all but threw him out of here ten minutes ago.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick asked him.

“Do you want him to be here, as part of our family or not?” Jarrod asked him point blank.

“I didn’t think I got a vote in this, or if I did it didn’t matter, because you all seem to want the opposite of what I want,” Nick shot back.

“Oh for crying out loud Nick, can we start acting like the adults we’re supposed to be?” Jarrod said. “You’re not ten years old anymore and someone’s taken your toy away.”

Both of them had raised their voices to new levels.

“Can both of you stop yelling at one another,” Mother started. “I’m sure if we talk about this long enough, we can come to some kind of conclusion.”

Nick stood up from the table, and tossed his napkin onto his plate, “That’s all we’ve been doing Mother, is talking. We’re not getting anywhere. Nothing anyone is saying is convincing me that that boy is a Barkley. Until that happens, I just don’t think I can accept it.”

“Nick, please sit back down,” Mother asked him. She waited and he held out. I think he inherited the stubborn streak from her and not from my Father. He finally gave in, albeit reluctantly and angrily, but he did sit back down. “Nick, I know you’d love nothing more than having your father here to tell you straight out if this is true or not. I know that finding out has shaken you and shaken your faith and image of your father. I know you loved him very much. We all did and that’s what makes this so very hard. We all feel the way you do. It’s not easy for any of us. We’d like to turn our back to this and shut it out and make it go away, but we can’t and we won’t. If you learned anything from your father it was that we face what’s before us, head on, we don’t run from it and we don’t hide from it. And now, this is what we must face. Open your heart Nick. Think about it from every side, not just your own. That’s what we all have done, now you need to do it too.”

“Please Nick, just try,” I added, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.

“That’s what I did Nick, I gave it a lot of thought. I still have questions, but now I know it’ll all work out for the best,” Gene added with a smile.

“We’ve all been to the same place you are Nick. I know it’s hard, but we can all get through this. Mother is right, just start by opening your heart,” Jarrod added.

That glaring far-away gaze returned to his eyes. He didn’t say anything, he merely stood up from the table and walked out. Then we heard the front door close.

I said a silent prayer that he’d find the answer to what he sought.

“Audra, why don’t you see if Silas will make up a plate for Heath and take it up to him. You’re right, he must be starving, and he already looks too thin,” Mother said to me, to change the subject.

“Yes Mother,” I said, with a smile. Heath concerned me as much as Nick did. In a way, I thought that was odd, because I hardly knew him at all, but I had already begun to care about him as another brother. It wasn’t that I felt sorry for him, I think I just felt sisterly toward him. I was happy that she gave me permission to take up some food to him. I stood up quickly and went to the kitchen. Silas was busy cleaning plates and pots when I walked in.

“Silas, Mother wants me to take up a plate to Heath, can you fix him up something?”

“Yes, Miss Audra, right away,” he busily carved off a generous portion of beef and potatoes and ladled some gravy over the plate. He added several slices of freshly baked bread as well. “How ‘bout a nice glass of milk to go with it too, Miss Audra?” he asked.

“Yes, I think so, I can get that,” I walked over and poured a tall glass, while he prepared a tray. “Thank you so much, Silas,” I said.

“No problem at all and ifin’ he wants more, just lemme know and I’ll fix him right up.”

I gave him a smile and went up the back stairs with the tray.

I knocked on Heath’s door and I heard a soft, “come in,” so I turned the doorknob and entered.

“Heath?” I began, standing at the doorway, food tray in hand. His room was nearly dark, but I could make that he was lying on top of his bed. “Mother said I should bring you up a tray of food. We noticed that you really didn’t get a chance to eat much supper. Silas’ roast beef is very good.” I waited for any type of response, but didn’t get one at first. “May I leave the tray for you?” I asked, not wanting to intrude and force myself upon him if he wanted to be alone.

I saw him sit up and he reached over and turned up the lamp. And he gave me a smile, which I immediately returned.

“Thank you for doing this, I am kinda hungry,” he said. I walked over toward him and handed him the tray and then turned to leave.

“You can stay if you want,” he started, “I mean, I’d like the company.”

I spun around and nodded and glanced around and spotted a chair and just as I was about to get it and pull it over, he set down the food on the bed and went and pulled it over for me.

“I got it, here ya go,” he said. He returned to sitting on the bed and he quickly began to eat. “You’re right, Silas does make a good roast beef.” He smiled again, but this time he must have seen something different on my face. “Audra? What is it?” he asked.

“Heath, I’m sorry about all this,” I started.

“It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault. There’s nothing you or I or anyone can do about any of it.”

“Well, I just want you to know that I’m trying, I think we all are, we’re trying to see how this is for you, while we’re struggling to figure it out for ourselves. Does that make sense to you?” I had to ask him.

He nodded, “Yeah, it took your Mother for me to see that, I was only thinking of myself, I didn’t take the time and think about the rest of you, and that’s wrong.”

“I think Nick will come around, it’s just going to take him time,” I added, making excuses for Nick, not that Nick would ever want me to, I just wanted to help Heath understand him better. “He, well, you just have to understand what it was like between Father and him.”

“That’s one thing I’ll never be able to understand, Audra. I’ll try, but I don’t have anything to base it on. See, what our father means to you and me is entirely different. And I don’t know if Nick and I will ever be able to get past that. I’m willing to try and Nick isn’t, that’s another problem.”

“I think you’re wrong about Nick,” I said in his defense. “Would you just try?”

He didn’t answer, he didn’t even nod, he just sort of gave me a lopsided grin.

I got the impression that he didn’t want to talk anymore. “I better get downstairs,” I said and as I stood up, I noticed his saddlebags, rifle and hat sat neatly on the other side of the door. He hadn’t bothered to unpack yet, in fact he looked like he was going to be leaving. He noticed right away that I spotted it.

“Audra, don’t even ask,” he said, “thanks again for the food. I sure was hungry.”

Softly and sadly I said, “Goodnight Heath,” refraining from asking what I wanted to have answered and keeping myself from begging him to stay. I couldn’t even bring myself to turn around. I just stood in the doorway.

“Goodnight Sis,” he answered, he had heard the boys call me that earlier and it now made my heart swell when I heard him repeat it to me. I turned quickly and dashed over to him and gave him a quick but meaningful hug. Even though he didn’t want me to ask him, I still had to let him know how I felt about him.

He hugged me back. And it was then that I knew for certain, he was indeed my brother.

* * * * * * * * *

(Jarrod)

Our little family gathering was becoming increasingly smaller. Now, just three of us had adjourned to the sitting room, Gene, Mother and myself. I knew Audra and Heath were upstairs, and I had no clue where Nick ran off too, and quite honestly at this particular moment, I really didn’t care. Sometimes his skull could be thicker than the earth’s very crust.

My personal feeling was that we had used up every argument and rationalization on him that we possibly could. Now it was up to him to come to terms with it for himself. No one could do it for him anymore.

I lit up one of my cigars and stood near the veranda. I heard Mother ask Eugene to pour her a brandy. That was a bit out of character for her, but after the last day and a half or so, I could readily see why she wanted one.

“Jarrod,” she began, “What else can we say to him to make him understand?”

I turned around, “Mother, I think we’ve done all we can do. Nick has to figure this out for himself.”

“You know how he worshiped your father, I’m just afraid he’ll never be able to get past this. And his resentment for Heath will always be visible,” she said sadly.

Eugene, always the optimist said, “Aw, Mother, it’s only been a day, just give him some time, you know how Nick is, it always takes him a month of Sunday’s to come to terms with things. Remember how he went back and forth on trying out those Herefords?”

“This is hardly about cattle Eugene,” she replied.

“It’s the same thing Mother, that’s just Nick, he needs time, that’s all I’m saying,” Gene said.

Mother glanced over at me looking for my reaction. I could tell she wanted to believe him, so I satisfied her wonderment. I started with a nod. “I think Gene is right, lets give it some time, Nick’s a Barkley after all, he’ll come around.”

She offered up a hint of a smile.

And then Audra came in. “It might be too late by then,” she said.

“What?” Mother asked her.

She came into the room all the way and stood in the center of the three of us. “I think Heath is going to leave,” she said softly.

“What do you mean, what did he say?” Mother continued.

“He didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t let me ask, but all his things are packed. I just think he’s going to leave.”

“Maybe I should go and talk with him,” Mother said, she started to get up.

“No,” I said, all their heads turned to look at me for some kind of an explanation. “This is between Nick and Heath now. Only the two of them can solve it for themselves.”

“You’re just willing to let him walk out of here after everything that’s happened?” Gene asked me.

I nodded, “Yes Gene, we can’t force him to stay if he doesn’t want to. He’s not a child, he knows we’re here, if he needs us or if he wants to come back.”

“I just don’t want to have to make a choice between the two of them,” Audra said, “they’re both my brothers, equally.” She sat down in a nearby chair and put her head in her hands. I walked over to her to try to offer her some comfort. “It’s just not right Jarrod.”

“I know honey, but it’s out of our hands,” I said squeezing her shoulder.

“Jarrod is right,” Mother finally said. “We’ll put our faith in God and know that he’ll lead our family in the direction he wants us to go in. He’s never let us down yet.”

“I’m going to turn in,” I said to the three of them. “I’ll see you all in the morning.” I gave my mother and sister a kiss each goodnight and walked up the familiar stairs.

I stopped at Heath’s door and quietly knocked.

“Come on in,” I heard him reply in that easy going drawl he had.

He was standing over by the window looking out over the buildings and corrals we had.

“Evening Jarrod,” he said to me, without even knowing that it was I who had come in.

I was more than a bit surprised, that he possessed that uncanny knack of knowing that it would be me. A smile played on my face, “Evening Heath,” I said back, as I walked over to him.

He finally looked at me. “It’s your aftershave counselor, I’m not one of those gypsy fortune tellers, I just could smell your aftershave.” He gave me a bit of a smile.

I looked out the window and saw a few of the hands were still out and about doing some late night work. Heath went back to watching them too.

“Audra told you about the saddlebags?” he asked.

“Uh huh,” I replied, holding back from asking him anything myself. I didn’t want to play his game.

“I figured she would. You gonna talk me out of it?”

“No.”

“You just wanna talk some more?”

“No.”

I knew he was perplexed now, because I could feel him looking at me trying to figure out just what I was doing there.

Finally he spoke, “Well what then?”

I held out my hand to him and he looked at it puzzled, so I lifted it higher waiting for him to take it and shake. He did, reluctantly and then looked right at me waiting for an explanation.

“I hope I see you again Heath. I hope it’s tomorrow morning at breakfast, but if not, then I’ll say goodbye right now.” With my other hand, I reached into my vest pocket and pulled out a tiepin that had been my father’s. He’d given it to me when I graduated from college. “I want you to have this, it was father’s.” I grabbed his left hand and dropped it in his palm. He averted his gaze from my eyes to the pin. “He gave it to me when he said he knew I was not just a man, I was a gentleman. And I think you’re a fine gentleman too. I think he’d want you to have this.” I saw his fingers close around it and he looked back up to me. “You can leave, but I want you to know that you’ll always have a home here and you’ll always have a name and a heritage. Everything we have is also yours.” I repeated the things he’d spoken of just the night before. I could see that he was fighting back his emotion.

“Thanks Jarrod,” he said, softly, dropping his tone an octave.

“Goodnight Heath,” I said, giving him a brotherly pat on his back.

“Goodnight,” I heard him almost whisper as he turned and faced the window again.

I walked out and left him to think.

* * * * * * * * *

(Nick)

I didn’t go far.

I just walked, around the out buildings, off into the nearby woods, in circles, just playing it all over and over in my head. It pounded, like a consistent, irritating beat.

I just had to get away from the rest of them. They kept telling me that I needed to think, but I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want them to tell me what to do or how to feel or how to act. I was my own man, I could do all that for myself. I’d gotten this far in my life hadn’t I?

But that pounding remained, and it asked me the same things. What did I believe anymore? What did I know?

There were still a few things that were true. This was my ranch to run. Jarrod had no interest in the day-to-day dynamics and Gene appeared to be following in his footsteps. I knew every inch of this land, I’d walked it, ridden it, fought over it and by God, I’d die on it if need be.

I could feel my father coursing through every part of me. There were times like this I felt like I WAS him and he WAS me. I missed him so much and yet right now, right now, I carried a burning anger and I was directing it at the wrong person. I should have been directing it at my father, not at a boy who had no part in how it had come to be, except of course that now, here he was, the product of something that two others had created. I knew that, at least I think I knew that.

How had Jarrod and the others and even my own Mother, who like him, bore absolutely no decision in any of it, come to realize this so much sooner than I had?

And why was I still walking aimlessly about, still loving my father for being the man I knew, and yet hating him equally for what he had done?

I knew I needed to think, I just didn’t want to.

One of the hands, Ty Yarden spotted me and came over to where I stood. “Nick, it’s Crimson King, come quick.”

Crimson King was the last breeding sire that my father had bought. He was a valuable bull, but his age was definitely not on his side anymore. For the last few months, we’d been keeping him in his own makeshift-grazing corral, for his own health and safety. I knew it was only a matter of time, before he'd die.

“I’ll be right there,” I said to Ty. I looked around, toward the quiet surroundings. My life had changed in a flash and yet so much of it remained the same.

The bull was lying down when I got there and I entered the corral and went over to him. It wouldn’t be long, I could tell just from the look of him and how he labored to breathe. A few of the hands stood around watching, ready to offer any assistance if need be.

Off in the distance we all noticed Heath walk by towards the barn, he carried his saddlebags slung over his shoulder. I wondered where he was going. I wondered if he was leaving for good this time. The men started to murmur, at first I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I clearly heard what Pete Martin said and it involved my father.

I stood up slowly and faced them.

“You got something to say Pete?” I asked in a low, but powerful tone.

“Ain’t nothing I heard tell you haven’t said yourself about that bastard,” he said with a spit.

“I don’t recall ever discussing the subject with you or anyone else who works on this ranch,” I continued.

Coby Stevens piped in. “We heard he’s claiming to be your daddy’s son. We ain’t deaf or blind Nick,””

“No, but obviously you’re stupid,” I added, to which Coby took a hasty step toward me, while the others pulled him back.

“Nick, we know you’re daddy would never have whelped a mongrel,” Pete started to say.

“Pete, you never even knew my daddy,” I said, as I began taking steps closer to them.

I could tell they were frightened by me approaching them. “All I’m saying Nick, is that well, we know you, we know your family, it just ain’t possible,” Pete tried to explain. “Your daddy was,” he started.

“My father was what?” I was right on top of them, waiting to hear what they had to say.

Coby stood tall and chimed in, “Your daddy was like Crimson King there, pure, nothing but good blood.”

I dropped my head for a moment and shook it remembering back to when he brought the scruffy little bull home. Crimson King wasn’t ‘pure.’ His daddy was, that was documented with all the proper paperwork and whatnot, but Crimson King’s momma, well, she was just a grazing cow that didn’t even have a name. There was something about the little bull that caught my father’s eye and he brought him home. And it was just then that I remembered what he said about Crimson King.

“There’s a lot of things in this world that aren’t perfect son, including you and me, but when you can eye something up and give it a chance, you take a step closer to perfection.”

I looked at the men who stood in front of me. “One of you stay with this bull, the rest of you get to bed for now. I gotta go talk to my brother.” There, it was the first time I’d said it and it felt right. I turned and headed for the barn.

The door was partially opened and I saw him standing in the end stall, with his back to me. A lantern hung just outside of the stall, softly illuminating the area. I just stood there and watched him for a few minutes. My brother, I had another brother.

From where I stood, I couldn’t exactly tell what he was doing.

Finally I called out to him from where I stood, I didn’t want to ‘sneak’ up on him and cause him any unnecessary worry or rile him up. I already knew that he could hold his own pretty well in a fistfight.

“Where ya heading?” I asked.

He spun around and saw me and then turned back to his Modoc. I started to walk over, after having made my presence known, I figured what the hec, I could approach him now, without him taking a swing at me.

“You leaving?” I asked again.

He stopped what he was doing. “She’s got a leg bruise, probably from that fallout on the bridge.”

I crouched down and took a look. Sure enough, she did and I honestly felt badly about it. “We’ve got some liniment over here you can try,” I offered, standing back up and heading toward the jar that was perched on the nearby shelf.

“I was gonna mix up my own poultice for her, I got some tealeaves and ginger root,” he explained, digging into his saddlebags.

“Suit yourself,” I said.

He started to mix together his poultice.

“Anything I can do to help? I sort of feel responsible,” I said.

“The bridge didn’t fall cuz one of us was riding across. The way I see it, we both had a part in it,” he responded.

“Even so, I’d like to help,” I said, walking back over to his horse, gently petting her. I saw one of our new horses down two stalls. Charger was a beautiful piece of horseflesh. “Listen, why don’t you take Charger down there, he’d be the perfect mount for you. Take you anywhere, work his heart out for ya. He’ll make a good horse for a cowboy.” I assumed he wanted to be on his way and from the looks of his Modoc, it would be a few days before she’d be ready to travel. Giving him a horse would be my way of trying to tell him how I felt, if he was intent on leaving.

“Thank ya, but I got a horse right here,” he said, spreading on the poultice and wrapping the Modoc’s leg.

“Even if that poultice works,” I began, “it’s still gonna take a good day for that horse to heal up, you can’t ride her like that. Take Charger, it’s the least I can do.”

“I ain’t planning on leaving,” he said.

“What?”

“I said, I ain’t planning on leaving here, this is my home now.”

“But your saddlebags, it looks,” I started.

“I’m not going anywhere. I just brought down the saddlebags because I had the stuff for the poultice in ‘em.” He paused before he continued. “I reckon you and I are gonna have to work out these differences we’ve been having.”

He had caught me off guard, but now was as good a time as any to confront the way I’d been treating him. “Yeah, we have to come up with something, don’t we?”

Now he wore a look of surprise, I think he thought I had come in to make sure he left for good this time. He probably was thinking I offered the horse just as Jarrod had offered him money the night before, as some kind of a buy-off.

True to my usual nature, I decided to be blunt, “I want you to stay Heath.”

He watched me for a moment and turned his attention back to his horse.

“I don’t know how this is all gonna play itself out, but I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m willing to give it a try,” I took a deep breath and said my peace.

Without looking at me he said, “Did they make you come out here and say that?”

“Who?” I asked, wondering who he meant. Had he heard the men talking when he walked by them? They’d been saying some pretty harsh things, things he’d probably had to hear all his life. That made me both mad and sorry for him. It was hard enough to hear those kinds of things about my own father, but all of a sudden it got me to thinkin’ that he’d had to hear those things his whole life, and it was directed right at him. No sir, it wasn’t right.

And then he spoke again, “The rest of the family,” he said.

“I’m here on my own, because,” I stopped.

“Because why?” he asked.

I walked over by him and stood in front of him so I could look him in the eyes and tell him. “Because I believe you.”

* * * * * * * * *

(Heath)

I turned back around and tended to my horse, at least that’s what I made it appear to him like I did. I honestly didn’t know what to say to him after he told me what he just had. I mean I had a whole lotta questions for him now, like what had suddenly changed his mind and all, but I’d never been the kind to just sort blurt those things out. It’s not that I didn’t want to know, but I didn’t want to seem rude about it.

I bent down to one knee and took another look at the horse’s leg, I didn’t really need to look, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Is that supposed to be some sort of miracle cure?” He had crouched down next to me and continued to talk. All of a sudden, it seemed as if he’d become ever so talkative and downright friendly toward me.

“Not a miracle, but I’ve seen it work on worse bruises than this,” I answered him, relieved in a way that he had changed the subject.

“I’ll have to remember that,” he said. We were quickly running out of small talk. “She’s alright then, except for the bruise?” he asked.

“Yeah, how ‘bout yours?”

“He’s fine, not a bruise or a scratch on him anywhere. I guess we were luckier than you.”

There was that awkward silence between us again. I was already hoping that that uncomfortableness with all of them wouldn’t last too long, because it was already making me crazy.

One thing I knew right off, was that Nick Barkley was bold and brash. If he had something to say, he said it. I knew that when we stood toe to toe on that bridge yesterday morning. And he wasn’t about to disappoint me in that area.

“Why didn’t you tell me who you were right off?” he asked.

“You mean on the bridge?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“You weren’t exactly forthcoming with introductions out there either, as I recall,” I said, standing back up. I started to put my ‘ingredients’ back into my saddlebags.

He sort of chuckled and stood back up as well.

“Ok well then, at the house, when you rode up, why not just tell us there and then?” he continued.

I pushed back the hat on my head and eyed him up. “Well let’s see if I can explain that. When I did finally tell you, one to one, you damn near beat the life out of me. I didn’t see any point in getting torn apart by three of ya. Gimme credit for having some kind of brain,” I said.

“I suppose you’re right,” he said in an understanding way. “I’ll say one thing boy,” he began, “you gotta lotta nerve coming in here like you did. I mighta just killed you myself.”

“I thought about that a few times, I know you could have.”

I think he had about as many questions for me as I did for him, but we just kind of side stepped around a lot of them. We kept the tone on the light side, maybe we were both a bit apprehensive about saying the wrong thing and setting off the other one, I’m not sure. There’d be time to have all the questions answered in the days, weeks, months and years that would lie ahead. For now, we just continued on in this casual banter, which was seemingly satisfying to both of us for the time being. To me, it did actually feel good to talk to him man to man for a change, rather than to listen to him holler at me or beat me up. Given half a chance, maybe we’d even start up some kind of friendship of sorts down the road. I hoped we were headed that way.

“I still didn’t know what to make of you when you rode up to Semple’s,” he was saying. “I didn’t know if you were just crazy trying to make some sort of point, or if you were just looking to die or maybe even that you still were working for the railroad.”

“Well I ain’t in a hurry to die and I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life, but never for the railroad. I don’t like getting anywhere too fast,” I explained.

“So why Semple’s?” he asked.

“It was a good of place as any, I reckon, to make a stand,” I paused, “And your mother convinced me that it was somewhere I needed to be.”

“My MOTHER,” he nearly shouted. “She knew?”

I nodded at him. “You’re not exactly the quiet type,” I reinforced, “I believe she heard our little discussion the night before. Whatever she didn’t hear outright, I suppose she filled in the blanks.”

He took a few steps away and turned his back to me. I was now starting to do what they all had said to me in one way or another. I put myself in his boots and thought about how he must be feeling. From what I had come to gather, he worshipped his father and from what I saw, he adored and respected his mother. Right now, he must have been thinking about how much this hurt his mother. I knew how much it hurt my mother, so it wasn’t difficult to put myself in his place. I had to say something to him.

“I’d never do anything to hurt her, that was never my intention. I didn’t mean to hurt any of you. I hope you believe that.”

He didn’t say anything at first but just kept his back to me. I like to think that he was doing the same thing, putting himself in my boots, cuz he answered, “I figure it’s equally as hard on you as it is on us.” Then he kind of changed the subject, back to his mother. “She’s a pretty tough lady, you’ll find out, she’s withstood a lot of hardships in her life already.”

“She’s been more than kind, and I’m not really deserving of it,” I added, wanting him to know how much I truly appreciated how she’d allowed me to stay in their home.

He finally turned around and faced me. “She’s an example we all need to follow,” he said in a much quieter tone, and as for deserving, well, you’re a Barkley and that’s enough said there.”

I noticed he didn’t say, if I was a Barkley, and that brought a small smile to my face. I still was curious about his sudden transformation, but I didn’t push it, I didn’t feel that comfortable yet around him. And maybe I didn’t want the transformation to undo itself, since it all seemed to happen rather fast in the first place, I was still thinking it could turn back around if I said the wrong thing.

He must have been watching me and could see that I was thinking, because he said, “You don’t say what’s on your mind too much, do you?”

I shook my head no.

He gave me a smile, “that’s not a Barkley trait, we usually say the first thing that pops into our heads.”

“I’ve noticed,” I replied with a smirk. There was something else he wanted to say, I could tell.

“I don’t know about all this yet,” he circled his arm around, meaning to indicate the two of us as brothers, “but, well, you’re here now, so there’s no turning back. Between the two of us, we should be able to come up with a way we can make it work. Whatta ya think?” he asked, clearing his throat at the end of his question.

I agreed by nodding my head first, “I think we can too,” I simply said. There was more I had to say, more I wanted to say, but something held me back. He must have recognized it and so he pushed me to say it.

“And,” he started, “I know you got something else on your mind, I can see it there in your eyes. No use holding it back now, just say it.”

I averted my eyes away from direct contact with him. “I’m, well, I’m looking forward to having brothers, ever since I read the article about him having three sons and I hope I can be a brother to you like Jarrod and Gene.” There, I said it and I really did mean it. Now I looked him right square in the eyes.

“The article was wrong, Tom Barkley had four sons, and I’ll tell you what, just knowing your way around running this ranch, is a big improvement over those two, they don’t even know the difference between a bull and a steer.” (Author note: They’re not the only ones!) We shared a hearty laugh. I stood there staring at him now again. He must have thought I was crazy. “What else?”

I looked down at Charger, “you serious about that horse?”

“You want him?” he asked me.

“He’s a beaut, I’d love to have him,” I said.

“Then he’s yours.”

“Thanks Nick,” I said sincerely, and shocked that he’d just give me a horse. It’s a good thing I remembered my manners to say thanks, because he’d stunned me by saying I could have him.

“I gotta go babysit a bull,” he said, again changing the subject.

“Is there a problem I asked?” I’d help in any way I could.

“Not unless you can whip up a poultice to keep him from dying. It’s just old age. But it was the last breeding bull Father brought home,” he explained.

“You want company?” I asked.

“It could be a long night,” he said.

“I already told ya, I ain’t going nowhere. I’m home.”

* * * * * * * * *

(Jarrod)

These last two days had been tumultuous, something perhaps out of a play by Shakespeare himself. It left us all changed. I like to think for the better.

That second night was just about as long as the first night had been. I thought this new brother of mine was going to leave. And I knew I’d done everything I could to try to get him to stay. But still, I didn’t think it was enough. He was a hard man to read, at first. I think if we’d been unanimous in accepting him, it wouldn’t have come to this, but he needed all of our approvals and my brother Nick was slow in coming around.

I tried to do some work up in my room, but it was no use. My concentration was elsewhere. I felt sort of trapped. If I went downstairs or outside and Heath was out there, he’d think I was chasing after him and I wanted him to stay because he wanted to stay, not because I begged him. So I holed up in my room. I began to pace. I went to the window and saw Nick and some of the men were having some sort of discussion in the corral that Crimson King resided in. A few moments later, I saw Heath saunter by them, saddlebags in hand, toward the barn. That was it, he was going and stubborn, mule-headed brother Nick was going to just stand by and watch it all happen.

It infuriated me.

I had to go downstairs and outside and find out for myself.

By the time I got down there, all but one of the men had scattered. He tended to the old bull. I asked him where Nick had gone and he said to the barn. I slowly headed over that way. I hoped Nick wasn’t starting another fight with Heath, if he had, I’d step in and try to stop it. As I got closer it didn’t sound as if they were fighting. It sounded like they were talking. I couldn’t help but grin. That was a start.

I even heard Nick chuckle. I thought that was a good sign. They had left the barn door open a crack and I guiltily went and stood near it, so that they couldn’t see me, but that I could hear the conversation they were having.

They both danced around the topic if you asked me, but maybe it was their way of making some progress. I couldn’t argue with it, it seemed to be working. I heard Heath say he wasn’t leaving and I let out a sigh of relief. And then I heard Nick refer to him as a brother and another grin spread across my face. Nick just needed time, that was all.

I know it wasn’t right for me to stand there and eavesdrop on them, but I couldn’t leave either. Heath talked excitedly about having brothers and I heard Nick joke about Gene and I and our lack of ranching knowledge. Then I knew they’d find their way, they had found common ground, a love of ranching. Nick even gave him a horse!

I started to head back to the house, satisfied that we’d all be at the breakfast table in the morning.

When dawn broke, I went downstairs to the dining room and took my usual place. Everyone came in at the appointed hour, except for Heath. I wondered where he’d gone off to, but my moment of thought didn’t last too long, for Nick began a tirade about the railroad and Heath and Lord only knows what else he was bellowing about. Just when he was about to crescendo, brother Heath walked in, already dirty and sweaty from a good start on his workday.

Nick was nearly rendered speechless.

They both took their places and immediately stabbed at the same piece of steak that was between the two of them.

I heard Audra giggle and glanced at the two of them, both stubborn, both hardheaded sons of Tom Barkley, neither giving in over the battle of the sirloin.

I took my knife and cut the poor, defenseless meat in half. The mood was immediately lightened as well and day two, night three officially got started as Mother said grace and thanked God for all the gifts we had been given. And we had surely been given a great many!

THE END