by HollyJeen
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
Meaning/derivation of ‘Come hell or high water’: To
persevere no matter what difficulties are encountered.
Heath hurried into
the dining room and slid into his chair with an apologetic look towards
Victoria. "Sorry I'm late, Ma'am. I didn't mean to hold up
breakfast."
With an inward
wince at the much-hated ‘ma’am,’ Victoria offered her husband's youngest son a
warm smile. "Don't worry about it, Heath. We haven't started yet. So, did
you get a late start this morning?"
With this, Nick
Barkley, iron ruler of the Barkley holdings, gave the newcomer to their family
a suspicious look. "Seems to me like the boy's taking it awful easy if he
can't even make it to the breakfast table by 7:00," he tossed to his
eldest brother, Jarrod. Jarrod's amused smile would have seemed a sharp
contrast to Nick's glower had Heath bothered to check. Instead, he kept his
head bowed and concentrated on his breakfast plate.
Since he couldn't
get a response from the stubborn blond, Nick persisted in his goading. Nick
knew that his bad feelings toward the younger man were wrong, but he couldn’t
seem to help from being angry. Whenever he stopped to think about this Barkley,
who had only arrived in Stockton three short months ago, he had to admit to a
few bad feelings. While he didn't hold the circumstances of his birth directly
against Heath, it still pained him to see this continual reminder of his
father's failing. Nick often tried to keep his feelings toward Tom Barkley in
check by attempting to anger his new brother. It rarely worked. Sometimes, Nick
believed that the more he yelled, the more his half-brother found refuge in
silence. It was one of Nick's everlasting irritations that Heath's silence
seemed to bother him far more than his yelling ever fazed Heath.
Such was the case
this time as Heath muttered a half-hearted defense while filling his plate.
"Already been out this mornin'. The fence out at the last corral didn't
stand too good against that last rain. Went out early to shore it up 'fore Duke
brings in the new mares."
Inwardly, Nick
couldn’t help but be impressed by Heath's work ethic. He had never seen Heath
use his new standing as part of 'management' to shirk his duties; instead, he
continually seemed to go out of his way to take on extra work. On his good
days, Nick figured that Heath was simply used to hard work. Those were days
Nick truly enjoyed, for this was when he felt that he could form a permanent
bond with the enigmatic stranger. On these days, he also felt it was his duty
to lighten this young man's somber mood whenever he could. On his bad days,
Nick decided Heath’s endless dedication to working was just the youngest
Barkley’s ploy to make him look bad. These days, when Heath wore a perpetual
smirk of defiance, Nick just wanted to punch him. Hard.
On a whim, Nick's
current mood instantly changed from bad – due to the fact that he had an entire
day of riding the river in the pouring rain to check for backlogs – to good at
the thought that he'd drag Heath along with him to alleviate his boredom. He
figured a day’s worth of goading Heath would make for fine entertainment.
"Well,
boy," he drawled, enjoying Heath's involuntary grimace at the hated
nickname. "Since you've already put in such a hard day already, you
deserve an easy job for the rest of it."
Heath's head
whipped up and his gaze locked with Nick's at this pronouncement. He was
immediately suspicious of Nick anytime he got that particular drawl to his
voice. Heath wasn't sure what the day would hold, but he was sure he wasn’t
going to like it.
Nick suppressed a
slightly mean-spirited grin at Heath's discomfort, as well as an even stronger
sense of guilt that he was punishing the son for the sins of the father. As
usual, though, he was able to overlook this and focus on Heath's discomfort.
"Yep, we need
to take a look at the north river to make sure we've got a clear path for the
loggers. They're set to roll 'em down starting next week, and I want to head
off any trouble if I can. With all this infernal rain, we’ll be lucky if the
river is clear. If something needs to
be moved out, we'll need two people for the job. I figure me and you ought to
be able to handle it with no problems."
Heath narrowed his
eyes and gazed hard at Nick, his face unreadable as usual. Then, with a shrug
and fleeting smile, he rose to his feet and threw down his napkin. “In that
case, brother, we better get to it. It’ll take us a fair time just to get up
there. Don’t want to loose the day’s light ‘fore we have time to check the
whole pass, now do we?” Without a word to see if his partner in the Barkley
ranch would follow, he headed towards the door, tossing a small salute to
Jarrod. As he passed Victoria’s chair, he paused for a moment and muttered,
“Thank you for breakfast, ma’am. Reckon we’ll be back in time for a late
supper.”
With that, he was
gone, leaving Nick to sputter and grumble his way through a last cup of coffee
before he, too, scrambled out the door to begin the day.
* * * * * * * *
As Nick rushed out
after the fairer Barkley, Victoria let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, Jarrod,
that certainly went well, didn’t it?”
Jarrod offered her
a rueful smile as he contemplated his brothers’ behavior. Unlike the more
temperamental Nick, Jarrod had accepted Heath’s claim long ago, and was
learning each day how glad he was that Heath had fought for a place in their
family. He wished he could somehow find a way to hammer that same feeling into
Nick. “I don’t know, Mother. It certainly could have been worse. At least Heath
isn’t as quick to anger as Nick. If he was, we’d have to hire Dr. Merar
full-time, just to keep them patched up.”
“I agree, dear,”
Victoria said with a small sigh as Jarrod escorted her to the sitting room.
“It’s just that… oh, I don’t know. It’s so hard to see Heath back down from
Nick time and again. I almost wish they would fight again, just to break the
ice between them. Maybe then, they could talk and actually begin to act like
brothers.”
Jarrod thought
about his mother’s reasoning before replying. “You may be right. Something’s
got to give between them. They can’t keep simmering like this. If they do, God
help anyone who gets caught in the middle. I only hope that whatever does
finally happen, isn’t so bad that they can’t find a way to come together and
rise above it.”
With a thoughtful
frown, Jarrod kissed his mother goodbye and headed into his office, leaving
Victoria to worry about her two hot-tempered sons.
* * * * * * * *
Nick glowered at
Heath’s back, barely resisting the urge to heft a rock at him. Just moments
after they began their trek north, the skies had opened up – again – and
released a torrent of icy rain. After only a few short minutes, Nick was soaked
through to the skin. To make matters worse, and to explain why he wanted to use
that rock on Heath, his younger brother seemed impervious to the rain and was,
in fact, whistling a ridiculous tune as his Modoc pony picked her way through
the mud.
“Boy, what’s wrong
with you?!” he grumbled at the quiet man. “How the hell can you be enjoying
this?!” Nick’s anger only increased when he realized that his own decision was
why Heath was even with him in the first place. That realization just made
Nick’s temper soar even higher.
Heath laughed to
himself as he heard Nick’s mutterings. The blond cowboy knew he would have a
long time to think on the road to the river, and, though he continued riding,
he let his mind wonder to his relationship with Nick. Even though he had been
at the ranch a short time, he already admired his brothers, and longed for
their approval. He felt that he and Jarrod were slowly building a solid
relationship, but that was not the case with Nick. No matter what Heath said or
did, it always seemed to be wrong in Nick’s eyes. Heath wondered, not for the
first time, what things would have been like if the brothers had been raised
together. Would he and Nick have always been at odds, or would they have stood,
solidly united, against the world? He supposed that it was probably naïve, but
he truly believed that his big brother would have stood by his side, if only
they had met under better circumstances.
Whatever the case,
though, Heath never intended to reveal that his older brother’s ire amused him,
mainly for two reasons: one, he liked his head right where it was and knew it
wouldn’t stay there if Nick thought he was being ridiculed; and two, the more
Nick groused, the less Heath was obligated to hold up his part of the
conversation. Though he would never admit it, even to himself, he was slightly
intimidated by Nick. He feared no man on a physical level, as he had long since
become strong enough to defend himself. Plus, deep down Heath somehow knew that
Nick would never hurt him. Oh, he may throw a punch here and there, but Heath
instinctively knew that Nick’s anger toward him would never go beyond that.
Instead, he was
intimidated by Nick’s total and absolute self-assuredness. Heath had always
wanted to be that kind of man – one who spoke his mind and expected people to
listen without question. Nick demanded, by sheer force of his personality, that
he would be obeyed. Heath had always lacked that confidence, and instead often
found that it was easier simply to say nothing than to risk saying the wrong
thing. He envied Nick’s ability to control his environment, even as he rebelled
against Nick’s attempts to control Heath’s own actions.
Heath hid his
triumphant grin as Nick’s grumbling increased when the rain continued to pelt
them. He knew that his apparent good mood was only adding to Nick's discomfort.
Heath wasn't sure why he felt such an urge to needle his 'big brother,' he knew
only that he enjoyed it whenever he got the chance. He knew he was taking his
life in his own hands, but today seemed to be a good day to goad Nick, and
Heath was looking forward to seeing how far he could go before Nick exploded.
With the way things had been going, Heath was looking for a fight just to
relieve tension, and by the looks of it, Nick was soon to oblige.
* * * * * * * *
Nick Barkley was
positive that, in his entire life, he had never been quite as cold, wet or
miserable as he was at that moment. Gray skies continually dumped a heavy
stream of icy rain, and cold winds drove it straight into his skin. He was
tempted to call off the trip, as he knew one of the ranch’s line shacks was
nearby. He could just imagine how good a warm fire and strong cup of coffee
would be now. He glanced ahead at his traveling companion, who still insisted
on whistling that blasted tune. He narrowed his eyes and abandoned his idea of
retreat. After all, he reasoned, if Heath were unaffected by the weather, then
he could show no weakness to it either. With a sign, he hunkered down into his
coat and tried to find a small respite from the driving rain.
As he studied the fair
man’s back, he tried to tune out the slightly off-key whistling. Nick took a
deep breath, intending to yell at Heath to shut up. To his own everlasting
surprise, all that came out was a rueful chuckle. He knew that Heath had
adopted his cavalier attitude simply to annoy his brother, and that it was his
own fault that the other man was with him. Shaking his head, he admitted to
himself that he respected Heath for baiting him, even though he knew Nick was
fuming. Nick was fully aware that he was often an intimidating man, and he was
pleased that Heath had yet to truly back down from him.
He also admired the
fact that Heath could enjoy their current situation, even if it was at Nick’s
expense. Being someone whose emotions tended to be overpowering and visible for
all to see, he deeply appreciated the way that Heath could release his anger
and not allow it to control him. Nick often spoke before he thought, and
regretted some things he had said to the other man. He often wished that he
could assume some of the quiet self-assuredness that was so evident in his
younger brother.
Nick’s anger
evaporated even more as he continued to contemplate the quiet man. He was
honest enough with himself to admit that his behavior toward his new brother
was wrong. He didn’t doubt Heath’s story, for he had seen enough of Heath’s
character to know that he did not lie. So, it wasn’t that he was angry with
Heath so much as he was angry with Heath’s presence in the Barkleys’ lives.
Every time Nick looked at his brother, he saw his father’s failure. Nick was
struggling to accept that his father could make such horrendous mistakes.
He knew from his
mother that Tom Barkley’s relationship with Heath’s mother existed only because
he had been injured and lost his memory of life with Victoria and their
children. However, instead of alleviating his rage, as it had seemed to do for
his mother, this news only served to cause Nick even more anger and hurt. After
all, if his father loved his family – loved Nick – as much as his son had
always believed, then how could he have completely forgotten that Nick even
existed? Even though he knew that these feelings were irrational, Nick just
could not forgive his father for forgetting him.
Also, Nick was deeply
outraged that his father had failed to ensure that no child came from his
transgression. While he had made a point to avoid knowing much of Heath’s
background, he had only to catch the perpetual look of sadness lurking in the
blond man’s eyes to know that his father’s failure – Nick’s father’s failure –
had caused much pain. While Nick hated himself for using Heath as a punching
bag for his own rage, he could not seem to stop, for to stop resenting Heath
meant that Nick must acknowledge that his father was the one who was truly at
fault. Being the son that he was, Nick was just unable to do that yet.
However, he was
finding it more and more difficult to hold onto his dislike for Heath.
Everyday, he found more and more reasons to be impressed with his brother.
Heath’s work ethic, loyalty and deep morality were obvious to Nick, and he was
finding himself swelling with pride that his brother could come from a life of
hardship and become such a fine man. Plus, Heath was just plain likable, and
Nick found that, more and more, he looked forward to spending time with him.
Nick was trying
very hard to balance his conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he felt
tremendous excitement at having a brother who loved the ranch with his same
passionate intensity. On the other hand, accepting Heath meant that he accepted
that his father was fallible, and Nick was hit with overwhelming guilt and a
strong feeling of disloyalty to a father he loved so much.
After awhile, Nick
shook himself out of his thoughts and continued on the trail. He studied the
man ahead with an intensity that would have shocked many who failed to see
beyond Nick’s boisterous spirit. Comparing the figure to his father’s, he
wondered if he would ever be able to accept the fair man as his brother. With a
soul-deep sigh, Nick steeled himself against the rain and continued on toward
the raging river.
* * * * * * * *
Heath Barkley was
positive that, in his entire life, he had never been quite as cold, wet or
miserable as he was at that moment. Gray skies continually dumped a heavy
stream of icy rain, and cold winds drove it straight into his skin. He was
tempted to call off the trip, as he knew one of the ranch’s line shacks was
nearby. He could just imagine how good a warm fire and strong cup of coffee
would be now.
When he thought of
his traveling companion, however, he abandoned his idea of retreat. After all,
he reasoned, if Nick could stand the weather, then he could show no weakness to
it either. With a sign, he hunkered down into his coat and tried to find a
small respite from the driving rain. Just to keep his spirits up, he continued
to aimlessly whistle an idle tune.
* * * * * * * *
After what seemed
an eternity, the two brothers finally approached the river’s edge. They
dismounted and surveyed the riverbed. What they saw immediately dampened their
relief at finally reaching their destination. The river, normally a steady flow
fed by a fresh mountain stream, was now a maelstrom of angry floodwater. Black
water, filled with debris, rushed by.
As the brothers watched the storming waters, they could see that the
river’s level was slowing rising.
With a resigned
look at Heath, Nick abandoned his plan to clear the river of debris so that the
loggers would be able to float timber down to the valley.
“Heath!” he yelled.
“It must be pouring up in the mountains. There’s no way we can do anything
today. We may as well head back.”
The other man
nodded tersely in agreement. “You’re right, Nick. I can barely see a foot ahead
of me, anyway. Let’s head on back.”
As the men began to
mount their steeds, a bolt of lightening suddenly struck a nearby tree. With a
tremendous crash, the old tree fell only a few feet from Nick. Coco, unprepared
for the noise, jumped and pranced back a few feet. Nick quickly quieted him
down, but was forced to take a few steps closer to the river bank to keep Coco
from trampling him. Both brothers were unprepared for what happened next. As
Nick struggled to sooth his horse, he shifted his weight in order to gain his
footing. When he moved, however, the loosely packed mud on the riverbank
suddenly gave way. Letting out a startled yelp, Nick flailed his arms, trying
to regain his balance. Knowing that he was fighting a loosing battle, he jerked
his gaze over to Heath, who was watching the tableau with a look of horror on
his face.
In that moment, as
hazel eyes locked on blue, a silent message was sent and received. For the
first time in three long months, Nick was finally asking his little brother for
help. He sent a quick prayer that Heath would not ignore his need, even as he
himself had ignored the same need in the other’s eyes. With that thought
swirling in his mind, Nick lost his fight with the rain-slicked land. After one
last-ditch effort to prevent a fall, the bank caved in. Nick slipped over the
edge, plunging into the icy water and disappearing under the current.
* * * * * * * *
For one eternal
moment, Heath stared, frozen, at his brother. As Nick’s eyes locked on his,
Heath saw something unexpected in the gaze of his seemingly invincible brother
– naked fear. That hint of vulnerability scared the younger man more than
seeing Nick fall. In that instant, Heath swore an oath to his brother that he
would save him, no matter what.
That thought
galvanized Heath into action. Wiping rain from his eyes, he rushed to the bank
where he last saw Nick. Slapping Coco, who had avoided a fall, out of the way,
he frantically searched the rushing water for a hint of dark clothing. Catching
sight of Nick half-submerged in the water just ahead, Heath was momentarily
relieved. However, his relief was short-lived as he saw Nick trying to stand
up. As Heath gingerly picked his way down the bank to reach his brother’s
location, he quickly realized that Nick was unable to stand.
Fearing that the
older man was hurt, Heath called out, “Nick! What’s wrong? You gotta get out of
the water!”
Nick spared a
glance at Heath, and was incredibly relieved – but not necessarily surprised –
to see him coming to help. For some reason, seeing Heath coming for him
relieved Nick’s fear, and his response was slightly giddy. “Get outta of the
water, huh?!? Oh, get OUT of the water. What in tarnation makes you think
getting OUT of the water is a good idea? Hell, Heath, I was planning on staying
in for awhile. That way, I can skip the bath when I get home.”
Heath spared a
worried glance at the older man’s face, fearing that Nick might be panicking.
When he only saw the usual scowl, he relaxed. “Well, Nick. I figured you might
want hot water, not ice water. How ‘bout you quit fooling around and get out
‘fore you catch pneumonia.”
With this, Heath
plowed into the river, grimacing as the icy water grabbed at him. Luckily, the
water was only waist high, so he quickly reached his brother’s side and tried
to help him up. When Heath tugged on Nick’s arm to help him up, his worry at
Nick’s predicament turned into stark terror. Looking toward his older brother’s
face, Heath’s heart leaped in his throat at Nick’s softly muttered words.
“It’s no use,
Heath. I’m trapped.”
Glancing upstream
at the river slowly rising higher and higher, Heath clutched his brother’s arm,
unsure of what to do to save his brother.
* * * * * * * *
Nick shook his
head, trying to piece together the last few minutes. In an instant, he had gone
from mounting Coco to being half-submerged in freezing water. He jerked at his
right leg, which was somehow stuck nearly three feet under the raging surface.
The dark cowboy found himself half-lying in the river, with water swirling all
around him. He had to struggle to remain above the surface, and tried to lever
himself up by grabbing at the large pieces of debris immersed in the riverbed.
After a brief but desperate struggle, he finally grasped a fallen limb directly
in front of him, which allowed him a brief rest from the raging water.
Meanwhile, Heath
was trying frantically to figure out how to dislodge Nick from his watery trap.
He was having a hard time maintaining his footing in the rampaging river, and
he reached for the same tree that Nick was holding. When he could keep his
balance against the tide, he turned to Nick to assess the situation.
“Nick!” he yelled
over the roar. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”
Nick grimaced at
his brother’s question. While he wasn’t necessarily hurt, he was far from
alright. For some reason, an unfamiliar feeling seemed to be creeping over him,
leeching his strength as surely as the icy water leeched the warm from his
blood. Knowing how dire their situation was, he shoved this emotion aside and
concentrated on Heath.
“I’m not hurt, but
I’m stuck pretty good. I can’t move my right leg.”
“Alright,” said
Heath. “I’ll just have to see what’s happening. I’m gonna go down and see if I
can pull you loose.”
As Heath prepared
to dive under the frigid water, Nick was again seized with that same paralyzing
feeling. He lunged for Heath, overcome with the need to stop his brother from
diving down. However, before he could reach him, the blond head sank beneath
the surface.
Nick lay there,
with his back and legs completely numb. He was unable to see Heath under the
dark water, and was unable to reach far enough to feel Heath’s movements. As he
waited for the younger man to reappear, Nick finally realized that unfamiliar
feeling that would not release him – for the first time that he could ever
remember, Nick Barkley felt completely helpless.
Oh, there had been
many times in his life when things had not turned out to suit him, but always
before, he could at least try to change things to his advantage. But now,
trapped in the middle of a raging storm, Nick was totally unable to do anything
to help himself. As the time ticked inexorably by, he found his gaze continually
drawn upriver. He watched the never-ending rush of water, and knew that the
water level was steadily rising. Nick had never feared water before, but he was
seized with a very real fear that he would drown. He could almost imagine how
the dark, freezing water would feel as it forced its way down his throat, just
as surely as it forced its way through the riverbed, sweeping away everything
in its path.
With a start, Nick
took a deep breath and started to search again for his brother. How long could
the blond man remain under water? Nick was unsure how much time had passed, but
it seemed an eternity since Heath slipped beneath the surface. With growing
horror, he struggled to release his leg from its icy trap. Forgetting his own
predicament, he began to claw at the debris, suddenly desperate to find the
other man.
After a few endless
moments, he released a raw scream of frustration at his own helplessness. The
thought that Heath could very well drown while trying to save Nick’s life was
more than the middle Barkley brother could bear.
* * * * * * * *
Just as Nick began
to believe that Heath was truly going to drown, the younger man surged to the
surface, choking out foul water and frantically grabbing for the half-submerged
branch. Nick struggled against the tide to reach out and grab Heath’s arm.
Together, the two brothers huddled against the limb, trying to steady each
other.
Before Nick could begin to rant about the danger Heath had been in, the younger
man took a few heaving coughs and gasped out his findings. “Nick, your foot is
stuck pretty good. This tree here has a bunch of branches coming off it, and
your ankle is caught between two of ‘em. They’re too thick to break off, and I
can’t get your foot to move. So, we gotta try something else… fast. I got an
idea – you wanna try it?”
With a grim nod of his head, Nick watched as Heath began to slowly move closer
to Nick. The blond man strained against the current, occasionally losing his
footing and sliding under the water. After several long moments, he carefully
moved behind Nick and supported his upper body. For a blissful moment, Nick
relaxed his stranglehold on the branch and laid his head against Heath’s
shoulder, allowing the other man to bear his weight. Heath gently leaned
forward to hold onto the sunken tree, pushing Nick’s body into an almost
sitting position. For once, the relentlessly flowing water actually assisted
the brothers, as the force of the undertow buoyed Nick enough that he was able
to use his energy to help Heath free him, instead of just trying to stay
afloat.
“Alright now, Nick,” Heath said into Nick’s ear, trying to stop his teeth from
chattering. “We’re gonna have to try and pull you loose. This might hurt some.”
He glanced down over Nick’s shoulder to try and gauge the other’s reaction. He
was surprised to see a small grin appear on Nick’s face. “Uhh, Nick? You
alright?” he asked worriedly.
“Yeah, Heath, I’m fine. First off, I probably can’t feel whatever you do. This
dang water is so cold I can’t feel hardly anything. Plus, I was just figuring –
when somebody tells you something’s gonna hurt a little, it really means
they’re about to try and do something that hurts like hell. I figured that
hurting like hell seems about right, since that seems to be where we are right
now.”
Sensing that Nick needed a moment of rest before trying to release his leg,
Heath grunted an agreement. “Nah, Nick, I think we skipped hell and went
straight to the high water.”
“Huh?” Nick asked while trying to maintain his balance against the tide. “What
are you talking about?”
Heath rolled his eyes before he answered. “I’ll tell you about it later.
Besides, only you, Nick, would care more about what I just said than how I
planned to get you outta this mess... No, wait,” he considered. “Maybe Jarrod
would care more about that, too. You Barkleys are kinda odd like that, you
know?”
Nick’s smile widened at Heath’s comment. “Well, you’re the one who started
talking funny all of a sudden. Seems to me that it takes one Barkley to know
another one.”
Heath froze for a moment, and then reached around Nick’s back to clasp his arms
around the older man’s chest. Slowly, a lopsided grin settled on his face. “In
that case, brother, we better figure a way to get you back on solid land. I
don’t think your mother would take too kindly to one Barkley coming back
instead of two. So get ready now, and pull!” Without any further warning, Heath
dug his feet into the silt-covered riverbed and leaned back as far as he could
into the freezing storm of water, trying to pull Nick from the riverbed by
sheer force of Barkley will.
* * * * * * * *
Heath thought for
sure that his heart would burst with emotion when he heard Nick finally
acknowledge the slowly growing bond between the two obstinate cowboys. He swore
then and there that he would do whatever it took to save Nick from this watery
grave. In his heart, he knew that he had waited his whole life for a big
brother, and there was no way a flooded river would take this new treasure from
him. So, with renewed determination, Heath ended the brothers’ brief respite,
and resumed his rescue attempt.
As he positioned
himself to try and pull Nick free, Heath quickly studied the other man. While
he was trying not to show it, Heath was terribly worried about his dark-haired
brother. He had tried to cover his growing terror with gentle banter, but felt
sure that Nick had only played along for the younger man’s sake. Nick’s lips
were tinged a faint blue, and chills racked his upper body. His struggle to
remain upright and above the water level was quickly draining whatever strength
he had left. Heath was glad to hold Nick against his chest, because this
allowed the older man a brief rest amid the swirling ice-cold water.
Since Heath was
having such a difficult time getting his own limbs to function properly, he
guessed that Nick’s legs had to be totally numb. That added another enormous
worry to the younger man, as they had no way to gauge how seriously Nick might
be hurt. Heath was desperately afraid that he might do further damage to Nick’s
trapped leg by trying to free him from the fallen tree’s clutches. However,
Heath dismissed this fear after a moment; he realized that it was probably
irrelevant, for if he did not release his brother from the river soon, Nick
would die. With that thought firmly in mind, Heath wrapped his arms around
Nick’s chest and heaved backward, yelling at his brother to pull his leg free.
Nick flung his body
weight backward with a loud splash. Heath had anticipated Nick’s weight, but
was unprepared for the water that would rush to cover Nick’s body. Heath found
himself holding Nick, with only the other man’s upper chest and head above the
surface. The blond man felt as if the icy water was trying to crush them, as it
swirled and danced angrily across Nick’s body.
As the exhausted
man tried to pull Nick toward him, he could not stand upright. As he leaned
backward to settle Nick’s body against his, Heath felt himself begin to fall.
He struggled to hold his brother while digging his feet into the river bed, but
was unable to grad a foothold. The dark water slammed unrelentingly into the
two men, and also prevented the silt from settling. As Heath tried to get his
legs anchored, his hands kept losing their grip around Nick’s chest.
Staggering under
the combined weight of his big brother and the raging water, Heath began to
panic. After a few scrambling steps, with the roaring current continually
trying to break his hold, he felt his boots slip on the silt.
“Hang on, Nick!” he
yelled. “This ain’t working!”
Nick stopped
leaning into his brother and attempted to sit up. He was unable to turn around
to see what was wrong, but recognized by Heath’s tone that their troubles had
just gone from bad to worse. Unfortunately, Nick was so fatigued and numb that
he was unable to lift himself.
With Nick’s
essentially dead weight pressing on his chest, Heath was unable to stop his
downward momentum. He quickly tried to release Nick, hoping that his brother
would be able to stay afloat. However, the ordeal had also weakened the blond
cowboy. The freezing water had leeched his strength and slowed his actions, and
he was unable to disentangle his arms from Nick’s. The relentless push of water
finally proved too much for the exhausted brothers, and – with arms still
entwined – both men sank below the water’s surface.
As the frigid water
closed over Heath’s head, his panic increased ten-fold. He tried to blink it
from his eyes, but the icy darkness was impenetrable. His brain seemed to
freeze along with his limbs, making his movements even more sluggish and
agonizing than before.
The rushing water
had caused his feet to shoot out from under him, away from Nick’s flailing
body. Only Heath’s desperate, one-handed grasp on the back of Nick’s shirt kept
the younger man from being swept away. As it was, he felt that he no longer had
the strength to fight the deathly rush of the river. He knew that, had his
brother not been counting on him, Heath would have been swept away.
However, he knew
that letting go simply was not an option, not while Nick still needed him.
Heath had tried hard his entire life to keep from causing pain to those he
cared about, and he was finding in this trial by water that he cared about Nick
more than he had ever realized.
So, with his lungs
begging for oxygen, he firmed his resolve and began to inch his other hand
toward Nick’s shoulder. When he had a firm grasp, he forced his legs to combat
the raging flow of water and tried to steady himself on the bottom. He knew
that precious seconds of air were ticking away for both of them, and he was
beyond desperate to get his brother’s head above water.
Finally, after what
seemed an eternity, Heath was able to find purchase in the muddy riverbed. He
steadied his legs as best he could, and surged for the surface, pushing Nick’s
weakened frame above him.
* * * * * * * *
Both brothers broke
the surface, coughing weakly to expel the muddy water. As they gulped in deep
breaths of air, Heath tried to help Nick bend upwards to clasp the tree limb.
Nick tried as hard
as he could to work with Heath to reach the tree limb, but just could not do
it. Even though he tried to tell his nearly frozen arms to move, they remained
at his sides, tossed about by the violent current.
“Heath,” he
wheezed. “I can’t… move… too cold… sorry.” Even though Nick could not
articulate his sluggish thoughts, inside he was furious at himself. Never
before had Nick Barkley been weak, and he was ashamed that Heath had to carry
what should have been his own burden. Nick cursed his faltering body and damned
himself for putting Heath’s life at risk.
“Heath,
boy…listen…” As Nick spoke, he leaned his head into Heath’s neck, grateful for
that small spot of warmth in a world dominated by icy gloom. “You gotta…get
out… too late…” A coughing spell interrupted him, and he leaned against Heath,
shutting his eyes in misery.
* * * * * * * *
Sparing a moment in
his labors, Heath looked down at the other man. He was shocked to hear Nick
Barkley, a man whom he revered above all others, seemingly admitting defeat. He
knew that Nick was in much more danger than himself, not just from drowning.
The water sluicing over nearly of all Nick’s body was icy cold and unrelenting.
Heath had no way of knowing how much of the river Nick had been forced to
swallow, but knew that it was a miracle Nick had not yet choked. He also knew
that the older man’s legs had to be nearly frozen, for he did not have Heath’s
advantage of movement. Heath’s raging frustration grew, for he was also a man
unaccustomed to helplessness.
While he tried to
quell his dark thoughts and focus himself on finding a solution to their
predicament, Heath tried to encourage his freezing brother.
“Come on now, Nick!
We got a ways to go before we can quit. You gotta help me here! I can’t do this
without you. Please, Nick,” he finally whispered, leaning his head down to rest
his cheek on the other man’s hair. “Don’t leave me, not now.”
He cradled Nick
against him, willing what little strength he had into his trapped brother. He
softly stroked Nick’s face while he considered his options. Perhaps he could
have used Charger to pull Nick free, and he cursed when he realized he had
missed his chance to do that. He was afraid that Nick would be unable to keep
his head above water while he went to the bank. He dismissed the debris rushing
by just as quickly, for most of it was too small to be of any use. There was
simply nothing within Heath’s reach that could help him in his rescue attempt.
Heath’s
overwhelming fear grew when he realized that he – and only he – would be able
to save Nick. With that thought in mind, the blond man did the only thing he
could think to do, and prepared himself for saving Nick, no matter what the
cost to himself.
* * * * * * * *
Heath slowly moved
his hands down Nick’s sides, always being careful to keep the other’s head
above the surface. When Nick tried to twist around to see what was happening,
Heath gently turned his head back so that it rested on Heath’s shoulder.
“Nick, I’m gonna
try something. Try to lie still for a minute, and then – when I yell – pull
back again with everything ya got.”
Nick began to shake
his head before Heath could finish. “No! You crazy?” he said with chattering
teeth. “Didn’t … work before.”
“Trust me,” Heath
grunted as he continued to position his hands. “I got a plan.”
“Great,” Nick
chuckled weakly. “…plan. They … worked great … so far…”
The dark man closed
his eyes and prayed that his brother did indeed have a plan to end this
wretched experience.
Meanwhile, Heath
got both his hands on Nick’s left side and clutched his shirt. With one quick
movement, he fought against the current and jerked around so that his back was
to Nick’s. As quickly as he could, he pushed his left arm through the water and
reached back for Nick’s right side. Always making sure that his feet were
well-placed, Heath leaned forward slightly and settled Nick’s upper body onto
his shoulders. He briefly thought of what an odd sight they must make, with he
and Nick back-to-back in the middle of a wild river.
Focusing his
erratic thoughts, Heath slowly crawled his hands under Nick’s arms. Twisting
his own arms behind him, he entwined them with Nick’s, and took a deep breath.
Turning his head around, he yelled for the other man to push. As Nick pushed
backward, Heath leaned forward, pulling with his arms as hard as he could. As
he strained forward, Heath prayed that, this time, his plan would work.
He quickly
realized, however, that he could not get enough leverage in this position to
pull Nick loose. He spent only a moment debating his next move, but knew in his
heart that it was Nick’s only chance for survival. Rooting his boots even further into the silt, Heath studied the
water raging only inches below his face. Bent over as he was, with Nick’s
weight on his shoulders, he stared into the swirling mass, wondering if it
would soon become his grave. With that bleak thought, Heath yelled one last
order to Nick, tossing it over his shoulder.
“Nick! Whatever
happens, don’t quit pulling. You’re gonna get out of this, and you’re gonna be
fine. You hear me? You’re gonna be fine!”
With that, Heath
took a deep breath and lunged downward, knowing that this would raise the angle
of Nick’s body and, in doing so, hopefully release him from the limb.
Unfortunately, as Heath was well aware, this also meant that he was now
completely submerged face-down in the water, straining with all his might to pull
away from the despicable tree limb holding Nick’s leg.
* * * * * * * *
Nick
threw all his might into the brothers’ combined efforts to free him from the
tree. He released a small sigh of relief as Heath’s actions forced Nick’s head
and shoulders higher above the water level. He found that, when he no longer
had to continually try to keep from sinking below the icy water, he was more
able to focus on his limbs. By sheer force of will, he commanded his leg to
move. After a few moments of intense effort, Nick felt – or at least hoped he
felt – a small shift in the branch.
With a
tiny glimmer of hope finally shining in his eyes, Nick yelled over his
shoulder, “Heath! I think it’s working!” When he received no reply from the
younger man, Nick struggled to turn his upper body so that he could see Heath.
With his brother’s armed firmly entwined with his, however, he could only see
Heath with his peripheral vision. What he saw froze his heart in a way the
river could not.
To
Nick’s everlasting horror, he saw that Heath was completely submerged in the
freezing water. Shaking his head, he tried to block the sight, unwilling to
accept that Heath could be drowning. With a start, Nick stilled his efforts for
a second as he realized that this was exactly what Heath was doing. The blond
man was sacrificing his own life to the raging river in an effort to save his
brother. This unbearable thought broke through Nick’s stupor. Suddenly, his
limbs no longer felt numb, as his determination to return the favor to Heath
and save the other man’s life galvanized him to action. Nick Barkley had always
been a strong man, and he knew that, by God, his strength would get both
Barkley brothers home.
Clinging
to that thought, Nick took a deep breath and sprang into action, preparing to
take the biggest gamble of his life. Using his trapped leg as a brace, he
heaved himself upward and leaned heavily against Heath’s back. As soon as he
had a small amount of leverage, Nick sharply twisted his body to the left,
forcing himself to slip through Heath’s arms. When he did, Nick felt a
sickening pop in his ankle. He ignored that, however, in favor of the other
sensation – when he jerked to the left, his leg turned, and he finally felt it
slip between the branches, releasing him from his watery prison.
As Nick broke free
from the ruined branch, he was plunged under the water’s raging surface. As
soon as he went under, he felt the water tear at him, and for a moment, he
believed that he would be crushed beneath its weight. It sought to sap his
strength and force its way into his mouth and nose.
Nick felt as if the
water were a living entity, determined to take his life and that of his
brother. Again, he resolved to keep that from happening, and frantically
reached for Heath. He was unsure whether either of them could withstand the
river’s force alone. Already, he could feel himself getting swept downstream,
away from the broken tree limb. He desperately tried to find his brother, but
the inky darkness was complete. For a moment, he panicked as disorientation set
in, and he realized that he could no longer determine which way to swim to
reach the surface. He began to thrash around, trying to get his bearing. He
floundered in the water, getting swept further and further downstream. Just
when he thought his lungs would burst, his grasping fingers brushed against an
unexpected surface. Nick quickly realized that he held a handful of chambray
shirt. Ignoring his body’s demand for oxygen, he grabbed onto Heath for dear
life, and kicked toward what he hoped was the surface. The fact that the other
man did nothing to help Nick’s efforts frightened the dark man more than
anything he had ever faced. With a small prayer that God would soon end this
living nightmare, Nick finally crashed to the surface, dragging the limp body
of his brother with him.
* * * * * * * *
When Nick’s head
broke the water line, he took several ragged breaths, coughing out as much
water as he could. He struggled to hold Heath’s head above water, while not
slipping below it himself. Hooking an arm around Heath’s chest, he managed to
hold the blond man’s head against his shoulder.
“Heath,” he yelled,
while struggling against the unrelenting tide. “Wake up, boy!” He tried to slap
Heath’s cheek, hoping to wake him, but almost lost his grip. Knowing that every
second could mean life or death for the other man, he abandoned his efforts to
wake Heath, and began the torturous journey to the shore. Kicking with all his
might, he gritted his teeth against the pain in his broken ankle. Ensuring that
his grip on Heath was unbreakable, Nick used his other arm to swim. For every
foot he managed to get closer to the bank, the damnable water swept them five
feet down the riverbed. Slowly, foot by agonizing foot, Nick closed in on his
goal. He lost count of the number of times his own head sank below the surface,
and he knew that, if Heath had not been depending on him, he would give in to
the lethargy he fought against and allow the river to claim him as a victim.
But, he struggled on, drawing on every bit of strength and stubbornness to
which the Barkleys were born.
Finally, Nick felt his broken foot scrape against the slope of the bank. Again
ignoring the flare of agony, he forced the damaged limb to support the
brothers’ combined weight. When his right foot was firmly planted, Nick was
able to slice his left foot through the flow and stand rooted in place. He took
a moment to rest, knowing that one misstep could doom them. He quickly studied
Heath’s face, searching for signs of awareness. “Heath! Don’t you give up on me
now! I’m gonna get you outta here. You hear me?! I’m gonna get you outta this
damn river!”
As Nick started to
resume his trek, the body in his arms suddenly spasmed, and Heath began to
vomit. Nick struggled to turn his head, and held his brother as he expelled
what seemed to be a barrel-full of sludgy water. When the spasms ended, his
blue eyes opened slightly, and he gazed blearily at his brother.
“Nick,” he
whispered. “What’s goin’ on?”
Nick grinned in
relief, suddenly knowing that their perilous journey was soon to be over. He
patted Heath’s shoulder with his free arm and leaned down to answer.
“Well, boy. We just
had ourselves a good swim, and now we’re gonna head home. How does that sound
to you?”
Heath nodded
wearily in agreement, and allowed his eyes to close. He was not afraid in
Nick’s arms, for he knew that his brother would protect him.
* * * * * * * *
With that, Nick
continued on his careful walk, slowly sliding each foot along the silt-covered
bottom, angling toward the shore. When he got within an arm’s reach of the
bank, he grasped on to some low-hanging tree limbs and hauled his precious
burden onto the bank. Straightening Heath’s limbs, he was relieved to see the
steady rise and fall of the blond man’s chest. Knowing that Heath was safe for
the moment, Nick allowed himself to collapse beside him, feeling an almost
overwhelming urge to kiss the ground under his cheek. He gazed at the other man
while they both rested, his mind racing through the day’s events.
“Boy howdy, Heath,”
he muttered in a conscious imitation of his brother. “We got some talkin’ to do
when we get home. I left this morning thinking I was riding out with an
imposter, and tonight I’m gonna be riding home with a brother.” He closed his
eyes in relief, unable to grasp the magnitude of his near loss, or of his
unexpected gift.
As Nick lay there
taking in deep breaths of cold, sweet air, he was unaware that Heath’s eyes had
once again opened. The blond man peered blearily at Nick, unable to believe
what he just heard. Nick called me his brother, he thought incredulously. His
brother!
Smiling crookedly,
he reached out and softly patted Nick’s shoulder, rousing the other man from an
exhausted doze. “Don’t worry, Nick,” he wheezed. “I don’t reckon we gotta say
much, do we? We’re brothers – that’s all I ever needed you to say.”
Nick slowly rolled over to gaze at the younger man. As he met Heath’s steady
gaze, he began to grin. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I think we found out what
we needed to know in that river.” He jerked his hand toward the raging water,
and stared out over its depths. He was still trying to accept that Heath had
been willing to sacrifice himself for Nick. To Nick, who always held actions
more important than words, Heath’s behavior in the river solidified a place for
the blond man in Nick’s heart, one that would only continue to grow through the
years to come.
* * * * * * * *
After a few moments
of companionable silence, Heath gathered his remaining strength and gradually
hauled himself to a sitting position. Nick glanced over to see Heath studying
their surroundings.
He sighed, knowing
as his brother did that they needed to start home. The afternoon sun had
steadily dipped lower in the sky, and the night air was beginning to stir.
Since both men were thoroughly drenched, the cool air felt like razors against
their exposed skin. All in all, Nick felt absolutely horrible, and wanted
nothing more than to soak in a steaming bath for the rest of the night.
“I guess we gotta
move, huh, Heath?” he asked, rubbing his arms against the cold breeze. “Well,
at least it’s not raining anymore.”
The other man
looked at him in surprise, as if he only just then realized that the rain had
indeed stopped. He offered a small chuckle and replied, “Yep, maybe things are
finally goin’ our way. 'Cept of course, we don’t have the horses, and I don’t
look forward to walkin’ all the way back to the house.”
While talking,
Heath had grabbed a nearby tree trunk and labored up to his feet. He peered
upstream and, putting his fingers to his lips, he whistled sharply for Charger,
hoping that the faithful horse would be nearby. After a few minutes of
whistling, he saw not only Charger, but Coco as well, break through the brush
and trot towards the brothers. Coco dipped his head when he reached Nick, as if
to apologize for losing his footing and causing the afternoon’s misery. Nick
just slapped his beloved steed gently on the leg and grinned. Now that the
ordeal was over, Nick found that – broken ankle aside – he felt better than he
had in weeks.
He started to swing
to his feet in order to mount Coco, but found his brother’s hand firmly holding
him in place.
“What’re you doing,
Heath?” he bellowed. “I’m ready to get home.”
Heath just smiled
that soft, crooked grin and cocked his head at Nick’s swollen right ankle. “I
sort of figured, Nick, that you wouldn’t want to fuss around too much with a
broken foot. Might make the ride home a might painful.”
Heath gently
gripped Nick’s foot and slid his boot off. He knew that, even though it would
be better to leave the boot on until the doctor saw it, Nick would tolerate the
trip home much more if the foot were wrapped in bandages. He rummaged in Charger’s
saddlebags and found what he needed – Heath was always careful to carry
bandages and a few medicinal supplies in tarp, for a cowboy never knew when an
injury could occur. He carefully wrapped the ankle, grimacing along with Nick
when the movement caused the older man pain.
When Heath was
satisfied that Nick was ready for travel, he helped the other man stand. Nick
felt his legs wobble from exhaustion, and was grateful for Heath’s quiet
support. Heath held his right leg, keeping most of the weight off Nick’s ankle,
while Nick carefully swung into Coco’s saddle. Taking a firm hold of the saddle
horn, Nick nodded to Heath, signaling that he was ready.
Then, Heath trudged
back to Charger, sharing that same crushing feeling of fatigue with Nick. When
he, too, was seated, the two men started for home. Both felt their spirits lift
when they turned their backs on the wretched riverbed.
* * * * * * * *
After several
moments of traveling in silence, Heath noticed that Nick kept glancing over at
him with a thoughtful look. After awhile, Heath finally could not contain his
curiosity, and asked Nick what was wrong.
When Nick did not
answer for a moment, Heath felt the blood drain from his face. Is he sorry
about what he said? Heath wondered. Is he already sorry that he said we’re
brothers? Heath took a deep sign and started to tell Nick not to worry about
what was said in the aftermath of their watery ordeal.
Before he could speak, though, Nick turned toward him and asked a surprising
question. “What did you mean about hell and high water, Heath?”
Buoyed by the fact
that Nick had said ‘Heath’ and not ‘boy,’ the younger man responded with his
own question, “Haven’t you ever heard that expression before?”
When Nick shook his
head to indicate that he had not, Heath turned toward the trail ahead, and
concentrated on his answer before he spoke. Nick sensed that this meant a great
deal to his brother, and he leaned toward the younger man in an unconscious
effort to listen closely.
“Well, Nick, my
momma used to say it. I guess I never tried to say what it means, I just know
it. Come hell or high water… one time, she read a dictionary meaning to me: to
persevere no matter what difficulties are encountered. I never forgot that for
some reason. They sure used fancy words for it, but what it means is, no matter
how bad things may get, you just gotta keep going. If you do, somehow things
will work out for you. Momma used to say it a lot.”
Heath’s voice
drifted off for a moment, and Nick could see shadows of past pains reflected in
the blue depths of his brother’s eyes. “Sometimes, it was bad… no food, no warm
clothes. No matter what happened, though, she would just smile and tell me,
‘Heath, don’t worry. Come hell or high water, nothing is gonna make us quit
fightin’.’ And… we wouldn’t. We just kept working and praying and trying our
best, and somehow, things would get better.”
Heath took a deep
breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. This was, by far, the longest speech
he had made in a while, and he was worried about his audience’s reaction.
Glancing over at Nick, he found only support in the other man’s face, so he
continued.
“I guess I been
thinkin’ about that saying a lot lately. Things haven’t been so good for awhile,
and it’s been hard to find my way. There’s been a buncha times when I wanted to
leave, but I just remembered my momma and how hard she kept trying, so I
stayed. I thought it again out there in the water. You coulda died, Nick, and I
just couldn’t let that happen.” He suddenly released a small chuckle. “I don’t
think my momma ever thought there’d be a time when the high water was real,
though.”
Nick leaned back in
his saddle and pondered Heath’ words for a moment. Putting aside his normally
cavalier attitude for the time being, he strove to match Heath’s sincerity.
“No, Heath, she
probably didn’t, and I hope we never see it again. But, she’s right, you can
persevere no matter how bad things get. Here lately, I’ve been one of the
reasons you’ve been suffering, and I am truly sorry for that. More sorry than
you can know. I plan on spending the rest of my life showing you just how sorry
I am. But know this, Heath. Somewhere out there in that damn river, I gave up.
I closed my eyes and thought that I would die. But then, the most incredible
thing happened. I opened my eyes, and there you were. You held onto me and
wouldn’t let me go, no matter what. That’s when I knew – you are every bit Tom
Barkley’s son. I hope it’s not too late for you to be my brother.”
Nick gazed
anxiously at the other man, awaiting his reply. It was not long in coming.
“Nick, I told you
by the riverbank. All I ever wanted was for you to see me as your brother. I
reckon we may have some fights and arguments, but they’re not important, not if
you meant what you said.”
Nick smiled at his
brother, knowing that a true heart-to-heart talk could wait until later. “Don’t
worry, Heath. I meant it, every word. Don’t forget it. And, you’re right. We
probably will butt heads over this and that, but arguments don’t change the
important stuff. The bad stuff we’ve already been through, well, it’s just not
important. In fact, you could even say that it’s water under the bridge.”
With that, Nick
laughed and urged Coco into a gallop, eager to get home. Heath sat frozen for a
moment, groaning at Nick’s pun. Then, wearing a full-fledged smile of joy,
Heath spurred Charger into action, determined not to let Nick get too far
ahead.
Seeing this, Nick
slowed his pace, choosing to wait for his brother’s company. Then,
side-by-side, the Barkley brothers headed for home, looking forward to a new
beginning.