Take Me Instead

by Janet

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Plot Synopsis: The Barkley family takes a stage trip that turns deadly.

Prologue

It was a warm spring day in 1850, when Tom Barkley came home for lunch with some news.

“Tom,” Victoria said as her husband walked in the door, “I wasn’t expecting you for lunch.”

“I’ve got some really good news,” he replied smiling broadly.

“Well,” she told him, “don’t keep me in suspense.”

“We’re all taking a trip,” he said still smiling.

“Where?” she asked.

“To Fresno,” he answered. “I’ve been asked to speak at the Cattlemen’s Association meeting.”

“Why do you want to drag the boys and me along?” she asked.

“Because I want to spend some time with my family,” he answered. “The boys will enjoy riding in a stage since they haven’t been any farther than Lathrop. And the meeting is not until Friday so I thought we could go for a few days.”

“Goodness Tom,” she said. “Jarrod’s only five and Nick two. They’ve never gone anywhere with you because you told me they got on your nerves.”

“I never said that,” he replied frowning. “Nick is such an outdoorsman at two that I can’t keep him still that long. Jarrod is a perfect gentleman. He never interrupts and he listens to everything that is said even if he can’t understand half of the words.”

“I know that,” she told him also frowning. “I’m around them everyday. Jarrod spends most of his time in his room looking at his books while Nick stays in the barn either currying a horse or something else.”

“I thought you would be pleased that I wanted to take my family with me,” he said.

“I am pleased,” she replied. “I’m also surprised.”

“Well,” he told her, “sometimes a man wants to show off his family and this is one of those times. “We leave tomorrow.”

“Morning?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered.

“I can’t have everything done by then,” she said frantically.

“You’ll have to,” he replied.

“All right,” she told him. “But I’ll need help getting the boys packed.”

“I’ll take care of Nick,” he said, “and you take care of Jarrod.”

“All right,” she replied going to Jarrod’s room.

When she opened his bedroom door, Jarrod was lying across the bed looking at a book. He looked up when she walked inside.

“Hi mama,” he said smiling.

“Jarrod,” she replied hurrying to his chest of drawers, “your father just told me we’re taking a trip tomorrow morning. I need to pack your clothes.”

“Can me help?” he asked getting up.

“First thing we need to do is work on your English,” she answered sitting down on his bed. “You’re going to be six this December and will start school next year. You need to start using I rather than me. And start calling me mother and your papa father.”

“Yes mama,” Jarrod said hanging his head. “I sorry.”

“It’s all right,” she replied pulling him close and hugging him. “We need to work on that.”

“Yes mama,” he told her.

“Now,” she said rising from the bed, “to get you packed.”

“Where we go?” he asked curious.

“We’re going to Fresno by stage,” she answered pulling out several shirts and pants.

“A stage,” he said very slowly. “Me never rode one before.”

“It will be a new experience for you,” she replied continuing to pack his clothes.

“Why?” he asked.

“Your father has a meeting there,” she answered. “And he wants us to go with him.”

“He no want us go with him,” he said.

“He does this time,” she replied.

“Nick too?” he asked.

“Nick too,” she answered.

When she was finished, Jarrod went back to looking at his book. Actually, he couldn’t really read, but he loved to look at the pictures and pretend he was reading.

Tom walked out to the barn to find Nick. Nick was brushing his horse and looked up when Tom walked into the barn.

“Papa,” he said.

“Hi son,” Tom replied smiling. You’re doing a nice job of brushing your colt.”

“Thanks,” he told his father smiling.

“I came out here to tell you we’re going on a trip to Fresno tomorrow by stage,” he said.

“Me not be on one,” Nick replied.

“I know,” he told his son. “We’re all going. I have a meeting and I want my family with me.”

“You get mad me,” Nick said.

“Sometimes because you won’t sit still,” Tom replied. “But you’re going to be a good boy aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Nick told him. “Me will.”

“That’s my boy,” he said smiling. “We’ll get some clothes together and leave in the morning.”

“OK,” Nick replied smiling. “End?”

“Yes you finish brushing your colt,” he told him heading back to the house.

Chapter One

The next morning dawned clear and warm. Tom and Victoria were both up early. The two boys had to be awakened and hurried along so they wouldn’t be late to the stage depot. Both Jarrod and Nick were excited about taking their first stage ride.

“Papa,” Jarrod asked as they ate breakfast,” stage big?”

“Yes son,” Tom answered looking over at him. “It will hold six people inside. There are usually between six and eight horses that pull one.”

“Fast?” Nick asked.

“Yes it can go fast,” he answered looking over at Nick. “You two are in for a treat.”

“Me hope so,” Jarrod said then lowered his head.

“What’s wrong Jarrod?” Tom asked.

“Sorry mama,” he said. “Me forgot.”

“I’m trying to get Jarrod to use I instead of me,” she replied. “But I guess it will take time for him to get used to it.”

“Yep,” Tom told her.

“Tom,” she said scowling, “you know better than to use bad language at the table especially in front of the boys.”

“Sorry Victoria,” he replied. “I also forgot.”

“What am I going to do with the three of you?” she asked.

“Live with it I guess,” Tom answered smiling.

Victoria finally smiled.

“You boys get a move on,” she said. “We have to been in town at ten.”

“Yes mama,” both Jarrod and Nick replied as they left the table.

Tom and Victoria watched the boys leave.

“You know something?” he asked after they were out of earshot.

“What?” she wanted to know.

“I’m a very lucky man,” he said smiling. “I’ve got two fine sons.”

“Yes we do,” she replied also smiling. “They are good boys.”

“Rambunctious sometimes,” he told her. “But good most of the time.”

“That’s an understatement,” she said. “Nick is forever getting into trouble of one kind or the other. And Jarrod...”

“What about Jarrod?” he asked.

“He wants to spend every free minute in his room,” she answered. “It’s not healthy for him not to get outside and play.”

“I’ll talk to him,” he said. “He is a bookworm and I’ve known it since he was born almost.”

“He does seem to be a deep thinker,” she replied. “Always asking questions.”

“How else will he learn if he doesn’t ask questions?” he told her.

“You’re right,” she said. “But he’s still terrified around his horse. I thought after he got used to them he would be less frightened but he still is.”

“I’ll see what I can do to help him,” he replied. “If he’s going to live on a ranch, he can’t be afraid of horses.”

“I know that,” she told him. “But he won’t ride his horse unless one of us is present.”

“I’ll take care of that too,” he said rising from the table. “We better get a move on.”

The Barkley family put their bags in the buggy and headed for Stockton. The boys were very excited about their first stage trip. But no one knew that it might be their last.

Chapter Two

At ten minutes after ten, the stage pulled out of Stockton headed for Fresno. Jarrod spent most of the time looking out the window at the passing scenes. Nick sat beside Jarrod and was busy playing with an old spur Tom had given him.

“Tom,” Victoria asked, “why in the world did you give him that spur?”

“So he could have something to do while we rode,” he answered.

“It’s nasty and he’s getting dirty from it,” she said.

“He’s a boy Victoria,” Tom replied. “Boys are supposed to get dirty.”

“Not on a trip,” she told him. “No wonder I have to wash every day. You keep those two working in dirt.”

“To run a ranch means getting dirty,” he said. “And besides, I’ve seen you with dirt on your face more than once.”

“That’s not the point,” she replied. “When we go on trips, the boys should look nice.”

“Whatever,” he told her.

“Papa,” Jarrod asked looking up at him, “how long?”

“Till we get to Fresno?” Tom wondered.

“Yes,” Jarrod said.

“Several hours,” he replied. “You have time to look at one of your books if you want.”

“Me did not pack one,” Jarrod told him.

“I did,” he said pulling a book out of his jacket pocket and handing it to Jarrod.

“Thank you,” Jarrod replied smiling as he took the book and started looking at it.

“I thought you didn’t approve of him reading books,” she told him.

“I never said that I didn’t approve,” he said looking over at her. “I said I wanted him to learn the workings of the ranch so he can help Nick when he takes over.”

“It’s basically the same thing,” she replied.

“Why is it Victoria that everything I say you turn it around?” he asked angry.

“Because you’re too hard on Jarrod,” she answered also a bit angry. “He’s more like me than you.”

“He’s still my son,” he said. “And as my son he will learn everything.”

“Me sorry,” Jarrod replied tears falling down his face.

“Stop that infernal crying,” he told Jarrod. “You’re a boy not a crybaby.”

Jarrod was now crying harder. Victoria pulled him close to her and tried to comfort him.

“Tom,” she said, “will you stop picking on him? He’s not Nick. He’s Jarrod and he doesn’t give a darn about the ranch.”

“He’s my son,” Tom replied looking at Jarrod. “And as my son he will act like a Barkley. Is that understood?”

“Yes papa,” Jarrod told him still crying.

“Tom,” she said trying to rein in her temper, “Sometimes I wonder why I married you. You are too hard on him. He’s just a small boy.”

“Now he’s a boy,” he replied. “But someday he’ll be a man and when that day comes, I don’t want him to be known as a pansy.”

“A pansy?” she asked.

“You know,” he answered. “Soft. Afraid of his own shadow.”

“He’s not afraid of his shadow Tom,” she said.

“If he keeps going like he’s going now,” he replied, “he will be.”

“That’s uncalled for,” she told him.

Jarrod was now crying harder as he listened to his father belittling him. Tom stopped and tried to contain his anger.

“Jarrod,” he said, “you are my son and as my son you have a destiny to fulfill. You will conduct yourself as a Barkley at all times and I better never catch you crying in public. Is that understood?”

“Yes papa,” Jarrod replied trying to stop his crying.

“That’s better,” Tom told him.

Victoria was about to say something when they felt the stage pick up speed. Something had evidentially spooked the horses. Jarrod and Nick struggled to hold on as the stage began to bounce over the rough terrain. Then Tom heard a creak and a crack. He realized too late that the stage had broken away from the horses. It began to tumble and roll as it slid down a steep embankment. When it finally came to rest on its side, nothing moved.

Chapter Three

Several hours later, Tom woke up. He was still inside the stage. He had a slightly separated shoulder and a bruise on his forehead. He looked around and finally saw Victoria. He reached out to her. She sat up and looked over at him.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“Just a hurt shoulder and a bruise on my head,” he answered. “You?”

“Just a few bruises and a cut on my leg,” she said. “Where are the boys?”

“There’s Nick,” Tom replied pointing to the corner. “He seems to be all right. Son, can you hear me?”

Nick slowly woke up. He was bruised and disoriented but otherwise all right.

“Me fine,” he said. “Jay?”

They all looked for Jarrod but he wasn’t inside the stage.

“He must have been thrown out,” Tom said trying to stand. “We need to find him. He must have gone through the window to the outside.”

“Tom,” she replied, “we have to find him. He could be hurt.”

“I am,” he told her as he tried to stand.

They stood up and Tom eased the door open climbing out. He then pulled Nick out and finally Victoria was able to climb out. Once outside the stage, they could see where the road was but there wasn’t any sign of Jarrod.

“He couldn’t be too far,” Tom said starting to look for his son.

“Papa,” Nick called from the other side of the stage.

Both Tom and Victoria ran to where he was. That’s when they saw it. Jarrod was lying in the dirt. He was unconscious. Tom squatted down next to his son. He felt Jarrod to see what was wrong or hurt.

“Broken ribs,” he said. “Cut on his forehead. Sprained ankle. Broken wrist.”

“Oh Tom,” she replied kneeling down next to her son. “Jarrod.”

Jarrod began to moan and when he tried to move, he cried out.

“Son,” Tom said holding him as still as he could, “don’t try to move. You’re hurt bad. I need to find a doctor.”

“Where are we going to find a doctor way out here?” she asked.

“There has to be a town somewhere close,” he answered. “We need to get Jarrod to one or I’m afraid we may be burying him.”

“No!” Nick screamed. “Jay.”

Nick was beside of Jarrod as Tom said those awful words. Tom started to pick Jarrod up but the boy cried out that he hesitated.

“I believe he may have a back injury although I’m not sure,” he said.

“How are we going to move him?” she asked.

“Build a travoy,” he answered. “It’s the only way to move him without killing him.”

“Are you telling me my son is dying?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “If we don’t get him to help, he’ll die.”

“No!” Nick screamed again.

“Son,” Tom said looking at Nick, “your brother is hurt very badly. I know he’ll die without help.”

“Me try,” Nick replied. “Me help.”

“I know you will,” he told them.

The three of them worked for over an hour putting together a travoy out of items in the stage. After they were finished, Tom eased his arms under Jarrod lifting him enough to lay him on the travoy. Then Tom picked up the ends and they started off for help. But Tom wasn’t very familiar with the area and wasn’t sure which way to go. If he guessed wrong, his son would die. As the group walked, Tom kept glancing back at his son. He could tell that Jarrod’s chest was swelling with some kind of fluid. One of his ribs might have pierced a lung. That afternoon, when they stopped to rest, Tom went to his son.

“His breathing is getting worse,” he said standing up and walking away.

Victoria stayed by Jarrod’s side. She watched as Tom stopped a few feet away. He kneeled down and looked heavenward.

“Sir,” he said, “I don’t do a lot of praying. But could you see fit to let my boy live. If you can’t take me instead.”

“Tom,” Victoria replied, “what are you doing?”

“Trying to save Jarrod,” he told her. “Take me instead. He’s a good boy. I love him and need him.”

He bowed his head as the hot tears hit the dry sand swallowed up in the heat. Victoria bowed her head too. And so did Nick. Then Nick looked up as he heard the sound of hoofbeats.

“Papa,” he said, “me hear.”

“I hear it too,” Tom replied standing up.

He saw the wagon and ran toward it. The men in the wagon stopped.

“Problem mister,” one of them said.

“Yes,” Tom answered. “My son was badly hurt when the stage overturned. I need to get him to a doctor.”

“We’ll put him in back,” he said climbing down. “Lathrop is just a few miles away.”

“Thank you,” Tom replied walking to his son.

Tom eased him up carrying him to the wagon. Victoria climbed in first and Tom laid Jarrod down with his head on her lap. He never moved.

“Tom,” she said looking up at him, “his breathing is getting worse.”

“I know,” he replied putting Nick in the wagon before climbing in himself.

The wagon rode away heading for help.

Chapter Four

As they rode, Tom couldn’t take his eyes off of his son.

“It’s my fault,” he said.

“No it’s not,” she replied. “Jarrod is going to get better.”

“Not from where I sit,” he told her. “He’s busted up inside and could even be bleeding. And I treated him like a dog on the ride out here. Telling him to act like a Barkley. I hate myself right now.”

“Tom,” Victoria said looking up at him. “Now is not the time to lay blame. Our first priority is Jarrod.”

“You’re right of course,” he replied. “But I never should have told him those awful things. He’ll never forgive me if he gets better.”

“He’ll always love you,” she told him. “He’s your son and he thinks the world of you.”

“But I treated him like dirt,” he said again.

“Thomas Barkley,” she replied sternly, “I want you to stop feeling guilty. We need to concentrate on helping him to get better.”

“All right,” he told her. “Take me instead. Take me instead.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“I’m asking God to take me instead of Jarrod,” he answered. “He doesn’t deserve to die. He’s just a small boy. He has his whole life in front of him.”

Jarrod began to moan as he opened his eyes. He cringed and tears ran down his face as the waves and waves of pain shot through his body.

“Honey,” Victoria said as she looked down at him, “don’t move.”

“Hurt,” he mumbled.

“Yes we know,” she replied. “You’re on your way to help.”

Again Jarrod cringed as he felt the pain radiating from his body. Victoria again tried to reassure him.

“Just rest,” she said. “We’re almost to Lathrop.”

“Son,” Tom replied sliding over where Jarrod could see him, “can you ever forgive me for fussing at you. I love you son. You’re my pride and joy.”

“Me love you,” he told him but it was barely a whisper.

The wagon rolled into Lathrop an hour later. The two men, who had introduced themselves as Aaron and Stan Morrow, helped Tom ease Jarrod out of the wagon and into the doctor’s office. Once inside, the doctor appeared from the back.

“Doc,” Tom said as he held Jarrod in his arms, “my son was badly hurt when the stage overturned.”

“Bring him in here,” he motioned for them to come to the examination room where Tom laid Jarrod down on the table.

It took the doctor over an hour to thoroughly examine Jarrod. When he finally looked up, his face was grim.

“The boy has multiple broken ribs,” he said truthfully. “He has a concussion, he has a broken left wrist, he has bruises and his chest cavity is filling with fluid. I’m going to be honest with you. His chances are not very good. I don’t know what is causing the fluid but I can’t go in without killing him because he is so weak. The only thing to do is wait to see if he gets any stronger. It might come down to having to operate but I’d like to wait until he is stronger.”

“Doc,” Tom asked trying to control his voice, “how long?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’m going to try to save his life but I can’t guarantee that he’ll recover even if I get the swelling down.”

Chapter Five

The doctor went to work trying to save the life of Jarrod Barkley. After two hours, he looked up at the parents.

“I’ve done all I can do for him other than operating,” he said. “But he’s too weak to stand an operation. I don’t know how to tell you this but more than likely he’ll die.”

That statement hit Tom flush in the face just as if the doctor had physically struck him. He looked down at his son lying in the bed. He was so still and so pale as he fought to live. His breathing was also very labored. But Tom would not leave Jarrod’s side.

“Take me instead,” Tom said as he watched his young son struggle just to breathe.

“Isn’t there anything else you can do?” she asked.

“Not right now,” he answered. “The boy is too weak to stand an operation.”

Jarrod was moved to a bed in the back room. Tom and Victoria stayed by his side as well as Nick. Being two, he didn’t understand why his brother was so still.

“Nick,” Tom said turning to his son, “Jarrod is hurt bad. He may not wake up.”

“No!” Nick screamed trying to deal with what was happening. “Jay wake up.”

“Son,” he replied, “Jarrod may die. You have to be brave and strong for him. Can you do that?”

“Yes papa,” Nick told him.

As the day turned into night, Jarrod was still in bad shape. The doctor kept a close check on the boy’s condition. Then around one in the morning, he had no choice.

“I have to go in,” he said after his examination. “The swelling is increasing and his breathing is getting more labored. You can wait out in the room near the front door.”

The family took one last look at Jarrod and then left the room. The doctor began to operate. Tom paced the floor because he was so nervous and frightened.

“Please help my son,” he said and fell to his knees. “If you can’t take me instead and give him my strength.”

Victoria put her hand on his shoulder but he could tell she was just as upset as he was. Even Nick was quiet and sat very still. He knew how bad his brother really was. He could feel it inside. But at his young age, there was no way he could tell his parents. So he sat very still hoping that he could help his brother.

“Please let Jarrod be all right,” Tom said again.

“Tom,” she replied looking into his face, “if it’s God’s will, Jarrod will be fine. Otherwise, he will go to heaven and spend eternity there.”

“I don’t want my son to die,” Tom told her. “He has his whole life in front of him. He deserves a future, not a pine box.”

Before Victoria could respond, the doctor appeared. He looked at the anxious parents.

“He survived the surgery,” he said. “There was a large amount of damage. His lung was not punctured but it was badly bruised as was some other organs. The swelling is under control now that the ribs are back in place.”

“Will he live?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “His breathing is still labored and he’s still unconscious. It’s up to him and the man upstairs. I’ve done all I can for him.”

“Can we see him?” Tom asked.

“Certainly,” he answered taking them back to Jarrod.

When they first saw him, his entire chest was covered in a bandage. His face didn’t have any color and his breathing was very shallow. Tom sat down in the chair beside the bed. He picked up Jarrod’s hand in his and held it. It was so white and cold but he wouldn’t let go.

“Victoria,” he said looking up, “he’s so small in that bed and his hand is so cold in mine.”

“Tom,” she replied placing a hand on his shoulder, “he’s a Barkley and we never give up.”

“You’re right,” he told her. “And Jarrod is going to get better.”

But he didn’t really believe it.

Chapter Six

For three days, Jarrod laid on the bed fighting for his life. Tom and Victoria were very worried as they stayed by his side. He had not moved since the surgery. Then Nick noticed something.

“Papa,” he said pointing at Jarrod. “Papa.”

“What son?” Tom asked too tired to say any more.

Then Tom noticed it too and so did Victoria. Jarrod’s eyelids were moving. Tom bent down low next to Jarrod’s ear.

“Son,” he said, “come back to us. You can do it.”

Jarrod kept fighting to open his eyes and finally, ten minutes later they opened. His parents were overjoyed.

“Son,” Tom asked, “how do you feel?”

“Tired,” Jarrod answered but it was barely audible.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked.

“No,” Jarrod answered.

The doctor walked into the room. When he saw Jarrod fighting to wake up, he immediately examined him.

“His breathing is getting stronger,” he said as he looked up.

“Is he going to make it?” Tom asked.

“I won’t say yes and I won’t say no,” he answered. “But what I will say is that he has a better chance then he did an hour ago. He’ll need a lot of rest and care.”

“He’ll get it,” Tom said smiling for the first time since all this had started.

“He’ll have to stay quiet for a few days until those damaged ribs can begin to heal,” he replied. “But I believe that your son is going to recover.”

“Thank you doctor,” Tom told him relief washing over him.

“It wasn’t all me,” he said. “Something inside of this boy would not give up.”

For the next few days, Jarrod continued to heal. After almost two weeks, since the accident, he was allowed out of the bed.

“Mama,” he said smiling. “Go home.”

“We’ll go home when the doctor says it’s all right,” she replied smiling. “You are looking so much better.”

“Yeah,” Tom told him. “And when we do, I don’t want you to disobey the doctor.”

“Yes papa,” he said walking gingerly.

“Son,” Tom replied, “come here.”

Jarrod slowly walked over to stand in front of his father. Tom lifted him up sitting him on his lap.

“Son,” he said, “I want to apologize to you. I had no right to say those things to you on the stage. You’re a brave boy and I’m proud to have you for a son.”

“Me too,” Jarrod replied hugging his father.

Tom hugged him too. Victoria smiled. Tom had finally accepted Jarrod for who he was and not who Tom wanted him to be. The two following this day were closer than they had been.

Jarrod was released and allowed to go home.

“Have your family doctor keep an eye on him for a few more days,” he said. “But I don’t think they’ll be any problems. He’s a lucky boy.”

“Thanks doc,” Tom replied picking Jarrod up in his arms.

“Bye,” Jarrod told him waving.

“Take care,” he said smiling as the Barkley family left.

They went home.

THE END