by Janet
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
Ten-year-old Jarrod Barkley knew something was bothering
his mother. He had seen her crying the
day before and was trying to decide how to ask her about it. Finally, after thinking about it for most of
the day, he decided it was time to confront her.
“Mother,” he said as he walked into the kitchen of the
Barkley home, “I hope I’m not bothering you.
But I wanted to talk to you if you have a moment.”
“Jarrod,” she replied looking up from her work on dinner,
“I didn’t hear you come in. I guess
I’ve had a lot on my mind as of late.
I’m sorry I haven’t been paying as much attention to you and Nick the
last few days.”
“No need to apologize mother,” he told her smiling. “I know you’ve had a lot of things going on
with the women’s group in town. But I
wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help you.”
“I don’t understand honey,” she said confused. “Whatever do you mean?”
“I saw you crying yesterday and I was going to offer my
ear to listen if you wanted to talk about it,” he said looking very
concerned. “I’ve never seen you cry
before and I know in my heart that there is something wrong.”
“Yes,” she replied stopping what she was doing to look
into his piercing blue eyes, “I was crying but you needn’t worry about me. I’m all right now.”
“You don’t look all right to me,” he told her. “I know that something is bothering
you. Want you please tell me what it
is?”
“Jarrod,” she said looking away, “I can’t tell you
anything. I was just a little sad
yesterday that’s all. It’s all over
with now.”
“I don’t believe that,” he replied looking into her
face. “You’re hiding something from
me. I want to help.”
“I appreciate the gesture,” she told him smiling. “But I have nothing to tell you.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered.
Jarrod decided it was best if he left so he headed out to
the barn to think.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” Nick asked as
he walked up to Jarrod. “It’s not like
you love this place.”
“I wanted to think in private,” he answered not looking
up.
“What’s there to think about?” Nick asked as he sat down
beside of Jarrod.
“Have you noticed that mother seems sad?” he wanted to
know. “She was crying yesterday.”
“So,” Nick said shaking his head.
“Well,” he replied finally looking over at Nick, “it’s not
like mother to cry at all.”
“You have a point,” Nick told him. “Did you find out why?”
“No,” he said shaking his head. “She wouldn’t tell me.
Nick, I know that something is wrong.
Mother and father both have been very quiet for over a week now. And it seems to happen about this time of
year.”
“You mean it’s happened before?” Nick asked confused.
“Yes,” he answered nodding. “I don’t know why but they get very quiet every year during the
months of November to February. I don’t
know why.”
“I can’t help you Jarrod,” Nick said shaking his head.
“I’m not asking for your help,” he replied angrily. “I think something happened and they won’t
tell us what it is.”
“Why would they do that?” Nick asked looking at Jarrod.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “But there is a reason for mother’s crying and I’m going to find
out what it is.”
“How?” Nick asked curious.
“I’m not sure about how just yet,” he answered. “But I’m going to keep my ears open Nick and
maybe I’ll hear something.”
Tom Barkley walked into the kitchen after a hard day of
work on the ranch. He knew something
was wrong by his wife’s expression.
“All right,” he said, “what’s happened? I can tell that
something is wrong.”
“What makes you think there’s anything wrong?” she wanted
to know. “Everything is perfectly fine Tom.”
“I know that look all too well,” he said sitting down at
the table. “You want to tell me what’s
wrong. And don’t give me that line about everything being fine for I know that
it’s not. I’ve lived with you long
enough to know when something is bothering you.”
“I think Jarrod suspects something,” she replied joining
him at the table. “I’m not sure but I
do believe that he senses something is not right with us.”
“How do you know this?” he asked looking at her. “Did he
say something about the anniversary?”
“Because he just a little while ago asked me why I had
been crying,” she answered. “I don’t
want him to find out what we’ve kept from him and Nick all their lives. I’m
afraid it will cost us their love and respect.”
“How will he find out?” he asked shaking his head. “It all happened in Saint Louis not here. We
don’t have anything to worry about Victoria.
There is no way he can ever find out.”
“But Dr. Merrar knows about it and I don’t want him telling
Jarrod or Nick for that matter,” she said looking hard at Tom. “I don’t want anyone telling them for any
reason.”
“He won’t tell them,” he replied looking at her. “He has that thing where he can’t tell
anyone what a person has told him. And why are you so worried about them ever
finding out? Would it really be so bad
if they knew?”
“You know how persuasive Jarrod can be,” she told
him. “I don’t ever want him to know
about what happened fifteen years ago or the other thing that happened ten
years ago. I made a promise to myself and I won’t break that vow for any reason
and you have to give me your word that you won’t tell them Tom.”
“I won’t say a word,” he said nodding. “You have my word. But I’m not so sure if
keeping this from them is a good idea any longer. Jarrod is ten and Nick is six.
I think they are old enough to understand why we kept the information
from them up until now.”
“What will those boys say if they were to find out they
are not our only children?” she replied with tears falling down her cheeks. “It
would devastate them and they would never forgive us for not telling them years
ago. That’s why I don’t want them to know.
I believe in my heart that it will tear this family apart.”
“I know that,” he told her. “But Thomas is dead and buried.
Nothing or no one can ever bring him back.
I believe those boys have a right to know about him.”
“But his memory is still here inside of me,” she said
putting a hand on her heart. “I can
still see his face and hear his voice after all of these years. I miss him so
much Tom. I don’t think I can bear to
repeat what happened to him all those years ago. It’s too painful.”
“So can I,” he replied smiling at the memory. “I can’t
bear to tell Jarrod or Nick for that matter how it was all our fault that their
brother died. And I do blame myself for what happened. If I had kept a closer eye on him then he
wouldn’t be dead and we would have three sons instead of two.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she told him. “I was the one that didn’t keep my eye on
him. I was the one that didn’t know he
was even missing until it was too late. You’re not completely to blame. I am too.”
“I wish that he could have lived,” he replied crying
also. “I know he would have been a
terrific rancher and worked beside of me. He was that kind of boy. If only it hadn’t been snowing that day and
he hadn’t been fascinated with the snow none of this would have happened.”
“Why do you think we named him Thomas Patrick?” she
asked. “He was the spitting image of
you and Charles. I could see you both very clearly in that little face. He was going to be just like you.”
“Yes father was proud of that boy,” he answered. “But father is also dead. Nothing will ever bring either one of them
back again. And continuing to keep this from Jarrod and Nick is not right
either. I still remember two years ago
and the hell I put my son through because of what happened in Strawberry.”
“True,” she said, “but I swore the day he died and was
carrying Jarrod that none of our children would ever know about him. What does
this have to do with Strawberry Tom?”
“I’m not so sure that was a good idea,” he replied. “Maybe the boys would have been happy to
know that they had a brother. I was just remembering all the heartache I caused
Jarrod after I returned. I never did
tell you what happened.”
“And maybe they would have been angry,” she told him
shaking her head at him. “Jarrod
believes that he is the oldest and I don’t want him to know that he isn’t. Tom
what happened while you were gone? You
seemed more distant when you came back.”
“It was an extremely hard time for me,” he said as he
stood up and began to walk. “I had gone
there to sell all our interests in the mines because they were pretty much
worked out. I got a pretty good price
for them too.”
“But,” she prodded gently.
“As I was leaving the bank with the money,” he replied
stopping to look at her face, “I was jumped from behind. I don’t remember much about the beating
except I was left in a pool of my own blood.”
“Oh Tom,” she told him rising to comfort him.
“I laid there for a long time,” he said continuing. “Then I vaguely remember someone bending
over me telling me not to move that I would be all right. When I came to a few days later I was in a
house I think and I was wrapped in bandages.”
“Who found you?” she asked very curious.
“I don’t remember the name,” he answered lying through his
teeth not wanting to tell her it was another woman. “They took good care of me but it took nearly six months before I
could even think of coming home.”
“Then you had a very good reason for being gone so long,”
she said smiling. “I was afraid that I
had angered you in some way.”
“No,” he replied, “you could never do that. I just wasn’t in any shape to come home and
I still remember what I did to Jarrod when I did get back. I yelled at him and I treated him like
dirt. Maybe you’re right. Maybe he should never know about Strawberry
or Thomas.”
“I don’t know if you should keep what happened in
Strawberry from him and Nick,” she told him.
“But they must never learn about Thomas.”
Tom knew in his heart that his wife and family could never
know about the woman who saved his life and he had fallen in love with. Standing on the other side of the door
Jarrod had heard every word. He was in
complete shock at learning that there was indeed another Barkley sibling.
Nick was working in the barn when Jarrod ran in completely
out of breath.
“What’s the matter with you?” Nick asked concerned for his
brother. “You look like you’ve just
seen a ghost.”
“I found out what the big secret is,” he answered still
not believing what he had heard. “And I can’t believe it either.”
“How?” Nick asked.
“I was listening at the kitchen door,” he answered sitting
down in a huff.
“Well,” Nick said, “tell me what you heard.”
“We had a brother,” he replied matter of factly,
“What!!!” Nick boomed.
“You’re kidding right?”
“No,” he said still not believing it. “His name was Thomas Patrick and he was born
before me."
“I don’t believe you,” Nick replied angry. “You’re lying
Jarrod and I don’t like it.”
“It’s the truth Nick,” he told him. “I need to know what happened to him. Mother and father both blamed themselves for
his death. I want to know why he died
and why they never told us.”
“How?” Nick asked. “When was he born and when did he die?”
“I don’t know yet,” he answered. “I know that asking either mother or father won’t work. So I’ll have to find the answers somewhere
else. I don’t know any details about him other than his name and that he
died. But I swear I will find out.”
“Where?” Nick asked.
“St. Louis,” he answered.
“You can’t go to St. Louis,” Nick said. “Mother and father won’t let you go.”
“They won’t know I’m going,” he replied looking at
Nick. “I’ll tell them I’m going to
spend the weekend with Matt and then I’ll catch a train to St. Louis.”
“How will you pay for a ticket?” Nick asked.
“I have a little money saved,” he answered. “The rest I can get from Uncle Wally.”
“Are you sure you want to tell Uncle Wally where you’re
going?” Nick asked.
“I’m not going to tell him where I’m going,” he
answered. “I’m just going to ask him to
borrow some money that’s all.”
“You can’t go up to Uncle Wally and ask him for money and
not tell him what you want it for,” Nick said forcefully. “He will want to know why you want that
much.”
“I’ll come up with some reason,” he replied nodding.
“After all he’s my godfather and he will be more than happy to give me the
money.”
“You better,” Nick told him. “Uncle Wally will tell father if you’re not real careful.”
“I know that,” he said hatefully. “I’m not stupid Nick.”
“I...” Nick began.
“I know and I’m sorry,” he replied smiling slightly. “You are just worried about me heading to a
big city alone. I know you are but there’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be fine I promise. I just have to know the details and why that
information was kept from us.”
“Yeah,” Nick told him.
“You don’t know nothing about this place. How are you going to find out anything if you don’t know where to
look? You’ve never been out of the state.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he said. “I know this is a very quick decision but I have to know about
Thomas. I feel that if I know the
circumstances maybe I can understand why mother is so sad. I want to help them with whatever happened
to Thomas. And I need to know what kind of boy he was. I need to know what he looked like and what
he liked to do.”
“I know you do Jarrod,” Nick replied putting a hand on
Jarrod’s arm, “but I’m scared that something will happen to you there.”
“Don’t worry Nick,” he told his brother. “I’ll be fine. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“You’re only ten Jarrod,” Nick said. “I think you should think about this some
more.”
“I’ve made my decision,” he replied standing up. “I’m going and no one is going to stop me.”
“I just hope you come back,” Nick told him also standing
up.
“One more thing Nick,” he said as he looked Nick in the
eye. “You have to promise me that you
won’t tell them I’m going. I mean it.”
“All right,” Nick replied, “I promise. I won’t tell.”
Jarrod patted Nick on the shoulder and headed out to see
Wally Miles.
Wally and Jenny Miles lived a short distance from the town
of Stockton. Wally had a very
prosperous ranch of his own and he was very proud of it. Wally looked up from working on a wagon
wheel when he heard a horse’s hooves approaching.
“Jarrod,” Wally said as Jarrod rode to a stop in front of
him, “climb down and let me see how much you’ve grown. “It’s been too long
since you’ve paid me a visit.”
Jarrod dismounted smiling at his godfather.
“Hi Uncle Wally,” he said as he approached the older
man. “I’m here on business.”
“Business,” Wally replied startled. “What kind of business?”
“I need a loan sir,” he told the older man. “I need to borrow twenty-five dollars sir.”
“That’s a lot of money Jarrod,” Wally said looking at
Jarrod’s serious face. “Why don’t you
just ask Tom?”
“I can’t do that,” he replied with more force than he had
meant. “I just can’t ask him.”
“Are you and Tom still having problems son?” Wally asked
very concerned. “I thought you two had
patched up your differences.”
“We have and it has nothing to do with that,” he answered
quickly. “I just meant that I don’t
want father to know about this.”
“Oh I see,” Wally said nodding his head. “A secret then.”
“Yes sir,” he replied smiling. “That’s it, a secret.”
“I happen to have that much money in the house,” Wally
told him heading toward the door.
“Would you like to wait inside while I get it?”
“No sir,” he said smiling slightly, “I’m in kind of a hurry and need to take
care of something else today.”
“Just a minute then,” Wally replied as he disappeared into
the house.
“Did I hear you talking to someone?” Jenny asked when she
saw her husband enter the house.
“Yes,” he answered heading toward his study. “Jarrod’s outside and I need to get him
twenty-five dollars.”
“Why?” she wanted to know. “It’s not like Jarrod is poor.”
“I’m not sure,” he answered shaking his head. “I think he’s trying to do something without
Tom finding out about it.”
“Do you suppose they are still angry with each other?” she
asked.
“I asked him about that and he assured me that everything
was all right between them,” he answered counting the money out on his
desk. “Although I’m not completely
convinced that there isn’t something going on.”
“Maybe you should talk to Tom about it,” she suggested. “I
mean before you give Jarrod the money.
What if Tom finds out you helped Jarrod do something against the law or
something that will get him in some kind of trouble?”
“I will if I think this money is going to get Jarrod in
some kind of trouble,” he said heading out the door but stopping just short of
the door.
“What do you mean against the law?” he asked
confused. “You know Jarrod. He’s a good boy.”
“Then why is he sneaking around behind his father’s back?”
she asked. “I believe there is something
going on that we don’t know about.”
“Maybe,” he answered.
“But that will be between Tom and Jarrod.”
“Not if you give him that money it won’t,” she said
looking very serious. “Wally, Tom is
your best friend and Jarrod is your godson.
How is it going to look if you help him against his father?”
“I see your point,” he replied nodding. “I tell you what. I’ll give Jarrod the money and then I’ll talk to Tom about
it. That way he can put a stop to
anything dangerous that Jarrod might try to do.”
“Agreed,” she told him smiling.
Wally left the house and Jenny stood in Wally’s study
thinking about what Jarrod needed with such a large sum of money and her
answers weren’t reassuring.
“Here you go Jarrod,” Wally said as he handed the money
over. “Now I want your promise that you
won’t get into any trouble for this.”
“I’m not and I won’t,” he replied taking the money and
putting it in his pocket. “I really
appreciate the loan. I’ll pay you back real soon.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Wally told him. “I just want you to be careful.”
“I will and thanks,” he said mounting up and heading off.
Wally stood there and he was beginning to worry about what
Jarrod was going to do with that much money. So he decided that it was time to
tell Tom about this before something dreadful did happen.
Jarrod rode over to his best friend’s house, Matt
Parker. He was hoping that Matt would
be willing to help him out so he could go to St. Louis without his parents
finding out.
“Matt,” he said as he rode up, “I need to ask you a very
important favor. I know that you’ll do it since you are my best friend.”
“What?” Matt asked as he looked up at Jarrod.
“Well,” he answered as he dismounted from his horse; “I
need you to tell my parents that I am going to be staying with you all weekend
even though I’m not.”
“Whoa Jarrod,” Matt said as he looked confused. “Back up and start at the beginning.”
“I am planning a trip to St. Louis on Friday,” he replied
looking at his friend. “I don’t want
mother and father finding out about it.
So I want you to tell them if they ask that I’m staying with you.”
“Well,” Matt told him thinking it over. “I guess I can do that. What are you going
to St. Louis for anyway?”
“I’d rather not say right now,” he said smiling. “It’s kind of personal and I just need your
help. It’s not that I don’t trust you but I’d just rather wait before I say.”
“OK,” Matt replied.
“If a friend can’t help a friend out than what good are they.”
“Great!” he told him as he mounted up. “You’re a fine friend Matt and later I’ll
tell you the whole story. I promise.
Thanks again.”
“No problem,” Matt said smiling as Jarrod rode away.
As Matt watched Jarrod leave he wondered what would cause
Jarrod to want to make such a long trip alone especially at his age. Matt was a year older than Jarrod.
“I hope I’m doing the right thing helping Jarrod,” he said
aloud. “I don’t want to get either one
of us in trouble.”
At the ranch Tom was working with his foreman, Mitch
Murphy when Wally Miles rode up. Tom was very surprised to see Wally at this
time of day knowing how much he worked to make his own ranch a success.
“Wally,” Tom asked looking at his neighbor and friend,
“what brings you out here? I thought you would be at home working. You know how much it takes to keep a ranch
going.”
“I need to talk to you Tom,” he answered as he climbed
down from his horse. “It’s very
important.”
“All right,” Tom said turning to Murphy. “You go ahead and implement that right now
and I’ll join you later.”
“Right,” Murphy replied as he headed off.
“Now,” Tom told him, “what’s all this about? You look
worried and I have a feeling it concerns either me or one of my family.”
“Jarrod came to see me a short time ago,” he began. “I wasn’t sure if I should even tell you but
I got worried about Jarrod or rather what he may be planning to do.”
“What did Jarrod want?” Tom asked completely in the dark.
“He came on business,” he answered looking at Tom. “He borrowed twenty-five dollars from me but
wouldn’t tell me what he needed it for.
Jenny and I got worried that Jarrod was in some kind of trouble and I
decided it was best to tell you about it.”
“I have no idea what he would need with that much money,”
Tom said shaking his head. “Maybe Nick
knows.”
Tom went into the barn followed by Wally. Nick was busy brushing Loco, his horse.
“Son,” he said as he walked over to Nick, “I need to ask
you something and I want an answer. Before you say anything I want you to know
that you’re not in trouble. It concerns
Jarrod.”
“All right father,” Nick replied looking over at Tom and
Wally. “Hi Uncle Wally.”
“Nick,” Wally told him smiling.
“Do you know anything about Jarrod needing twenty-five
dollars?” he asked watching Nick’s face and not liking what he saw.
“Well,” Nick answered looking uncomfortable. “I sort of do.”
“Well,” he said continuing to look at his son; “I’m
waiting for the answer. Please Nick I need to know.”
“Do I have to tell you father?” Nick asked. “I promised Jarrod I wouldn’t say anything.”
“This is very important son,” he answered. “I need to know if Jarrod is in some kind of
trouble. I have an idea that he is and I don’t like that feeling. Your brother is headstrong in his feelings
and sometimes he acts on them without thinking. I’m afraid he’s going to do something dangerous to him.”
“I guess I don’t have a choice,” Nick said shaking his
head. “But I don’t like telling on him.”
“No you don’t,” he replied. “And I realize that you trust
Jarrod and want to help him but this is an exception. Jarrod could do something that could get him hurt or worse. Do you understand son?”
“Jarrod is planning on going to St. Louis on Friday to
find out about Thomas,” Nick spit out.
“He overheard you and mother talking about him and wanted to find out
everything he could about Thomas. I told him not to go but he wouldn’t listen
to me. I’m afraid myself that something
could happen to him.”
“How did he overhear us?” he asked not liking what he was
hearing. “Do you think he was listening
on purpose even though he knows better?”
“He listened at the kitchen door,” Nick answered. “I didn’t I swear. He came running out here and told me about a brother named
Thomas. He told me that Thomas was dead
and he was going to find out how he died. I was confused and didn’t understand
what he meant. Is it true father?”
“Oh this is just great,” he said shaking his head. “I try to keep this from you two and then
Jarrod purposely listens to a private conversation. Yes, it’s true son. I’m
sorry you had to find out like this.
Your mother and I will try to clear all of this up when I find your
brother. I promise. Is that boy going
to get it? By the way where is Jarrod?”
“He went over to Matt Parker’s to ask him to tell you and
mother he was going to be staying the weekend over there while he went to St.
Louis,” Nick replied. “That’s all I
know father.”
“I believe you son and I appreciate what you’ve told me,”
he told his son. “Wally, would you
please excuse me. I need to get to the
bottom of this and I’ll make sure that Jarrod pays you back the money.”
“I understand Tom,” Wally said as he turned to leave. “The money’s not that important but my
godson is. Don’t be too hard on him.”
“I’ll try,” he replied as he watched Wally leave. “I’ll wait until Jarrod comes home and then
I’ll break every bone in his body.”
“Don’t do that father,” Nick cried. “Jarrod didn’t mean to make you mad. He’s
just curious about Thomas that’s all.”
“I don’t mean I’ll really do that son,” he said turning
back to Nick. “I only meant that I will
deal with Jarrod when he comes home.”
Chapter
Five
Jarrod rode up to the barn, dismounted and led Cinnamon
into his stall. He noticed that Nick
was no where in sight and he was getting concerned that maybe his idea had been
found out. He finished and headed into
the house where his parents met him.
“Son,” Tom said as Jarrod walked inside, “sit down. We need to talk.”
“Sure father,” he replied sitting down on the couch in the
living room. “What’s wrong?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing?” Tom shot back
with authority. “Do you realize what
you were planning on doing was wrong?”
“Excuse me sir,” he told his father not completely sure
what his father had meant. “I’m not
sure what you are talking about.”
“I know about the money and the trip Jarrod,” Tom said
with anger evident in his voice. “I’m
just very surprised at you. You know
better than to go off half cocked without thinking this through. Do you realize what could happen to a
ten-year-old boy in a big city like St. Louis?”
“How did you find out sir?” he asked very quietly. “Did Nick blab to you? I’ll get him for that.”
“Partly,” Tom answered still angry. “I had a visit from Wally Miles and he told
me about the money. I then asked Nick
and he told me everything. What were
you thinking?”
“When I found out about Thomas I couldn’t believe that you
and mother would keep something like that from us,” he said not looking at
either one of them. “Then I got to
thinking about Thomas being my brother and I wanted to know everything I could
about him. I guess I wanted to know so
bad that I didn’t think about anything else.”
“No you didn’t,” Tom replied still very angry.
“Tom,” she told him trying to calm her husband down,
“Jarrod and Nick have a right to know.
We can’t keep it from them any longer.
And getting angry won’t help anything.
Please calm down. Don’t get so
angry that you lose sight of the fact that Jarrod is our son and we love him.”
“I...I know you’re right,” he said nodding. “I still remember the way I treated him when
I returned from Strawberry. I feel that
I owe you all an explanation about that too.”
“All right,” she replied smiling. “Then let’s discuss this calmly.”
“Agreed,” he told her.
Nick had been sitting in a chair on the other side of the
room. He decided to sit down beside of
Jarrod. Jarrod at first didn’t
acknowledge him but then he smiled at Nick when he realized that Nick didn’t
have a choice in telling his father.
“First,” Tom said as he looked at his two sons, “I want
you to know that your mother and I love you both very much. You are very important to us. When your mother and I met in St. Louis we
knew that we wanted to come west and begin a life together. I had always dreamed of having a huge ranch
but growing up in Denver I realized that I didn’t want my ranch to be there. I wanted to come farther west and open up
new land. I had a new wife and she knew
what I had dreamed of since I was a very small boy. She told me on many occasions that we should head toward
California and build our ranch there.
So we did. But an obstacle got
in our way.”
“What was that father?” Nick asked curious.
Tom smiled as he remembered the birth of his son.
“Thomas was born while we were still in St. Louis,” Tom
continued. “He was a very quiet boy and
never cried. We didn’t even tell two of our closet friends about him when we headed
west. Don’t ask me why because I can
answer that.”
“He was the spitting image of your father and
grandfather,” she said smiling as she remembered Thomas’ face. “When he was very small even before he could
walk he would follow his father with his hazel eyes. I remember he had a sprig of brown hair that always kept falling
in his eyes and I would continuously brush it back but it never stayed
put. He always wanted to know where Tom
was. You might say he was his father’s son.”
“Sounds a little like Nick,” he said speaking for the
first time. “He’s always wanted to do
things with you sir.”
“Why not?” Nick replied looking over at Jarrod. “Father is a great teacher and I’ve learned
a lot from him.”
“Getting back to what I was saying,” Tom told them. “Thomas was also a very bright boy. He seemed to grasp things after only doing
them one time.”
“That’s kind of like you Jarrod,” Nick said smiling.
“Thomas was indeed looking forward to school,” Tom replied
continuing. “But then we received word
that an old and dear friend had died in St. Louis. We left Stockton and headed by train for St. Louis when Thomas
was five. It was November and I
remember that there was snow on the ground.
Thomas had always been fond of snow and he was indeed fascinated by it falling
as we pulled into the station. What
your mother and I didn’t realize when we left the train separately was that I
thought he was with her and she thought he was with me. He was with neither of us and when we
finally realized that he was missing an hour had passed. We both blamed ourselves for his
disappearance. I guess that was one
reason we didn’t want to tell anyone about him. It was just too painful.
I remember it was bitter cold and I frantically searched for him but I
really didn’t know where to look. When
I finally found him an hour later he was half-frozen and unconscious. I took him to a doctor friend and he did
what he could for Thomas only it wasn’t enough. Thomas died three hours later without ever opening his eyes. We
never got to say goodbye to him and we both regretted that as well. We brought him home and buried him in a
wooded area of the ranch. Neither one of us has been back in the ten years that
he’s been dead. It’s just too painful
for us. There’s a small cross with his name scratched on it.”
“Father,” he told his father looking up, “I’m so
sorry. I know how hard it must have
been to watch Thomas die. I wish I
could say something to make you feel better. I know that he wouldn’t blame you
for his dying. He would probably say it
was his fault and smile at you.”
“We decided to keep Thomas Patrick Barkley a secret from
the world,” she told them. “We never
told a soul except for Dr. Merrar who had to help me deal with the loss of my
son. Thomas died a month before you
were born Jarrod. I know it was wrong but it was so hard to even think about
him without crying.”
“Gee mother,” Nick said, “I don’t know what to say
either.”
“I suppose we should have told you both sooner but we had
tried to put him out of our minds except the anniversary of his death and of
course his birthday,” she replied looking at her two sons. “That’s why you saw me crying honey. It was his birthday and I was remembering
some of the things we did together in the short time he was here with us. As
the time went by we decided not to tell you at all and let you believe that
Jarrod was the oldest instead of Thomas for fear that Jarrod might resent us
for having another child.”
“I would never do that,” he told her. “I love you too much. I only wish I could have known him. He
sounds like a wonderful boy and I would have been honored to have known him.”
“I believe he would have spoiled both of you,” Tom said
smiling. “He was that kind of person. A
loving, caring, considerate boy who would do anything to help someone out
especially if they needed help.”
“Thanks for telling us now sir,” he replied standing
up. “I understand why you did what you
did and I don’t hate you for it. And I would like to tell you both
something. I will punish myself for
what I did to Uncle Wally and what I almost did to you. I will give the money back to Uncle Wally
and then come straight home from school everyday for a week. Maybe that will make it up to you both.”
“That will be fine honey,” she commented smiling. “I don’t believe you will ever do anything
like this again.”
“No I won’t,” he said nodding. “I promise.”
“I have something else to tell you,” Tom told them.
Jarrod sat back down to listen.
“You two remember when I went to Strawberry two years ago
on business,” Tom began. “I went there
to sell our interests because the town was starting to die out. Most of the mines had been worked out and it
just wasn’t good business. When I came
out of the back with the money in my hand, I was jumped from behind and I
remember lying there on the ground in my own blood. I vaguely remember someone bending over me telling me to take it
easy and that I would be all right. I
was taken somewhere I’m not sure where to be patched up. I don’t remember a great deal about the
months after the beating. I was in and
out of consciousness and when I finally realized who I was and where I was I
knew I had to come home to my family.
That’s why I was gone so long.”
“Who took care of you sir?” he asked curious as to why Tom
hadn’t mentioned the name.
“I don’t remember,” Tom answered lying to his family about
the wonderful woman who had saved his life and he had then fallen in love
with. “Like I said I don’t remember
much about that time.”
“Why were you so mean to me sir?” he asked wanting
desperately to know why his father had turned on him. “I mean there had to be a
reason.”
“I don’t really know son,” Tom answered again lying.
He knew the reason for his anger was the love he had for
two women. One he was married to and
the other one who had cared for him while he was hurt.
“I guess I’ll never know the reason for your anger
father,” he said shaking his head. “But
I can live with that. I know that you
love me and only want what’s best for me.”
“That’s why I was so worried when I heard about this trip,”
Tom replied putting his arms around both his sons. “Someday I promise that we’ll go to St. Louis and I’ll show you
where your mother and I were married and where we lived until we headed west.”
Little did Tom or the Barkley family know that years later
another son would arrive to claim his part of the Barkley legacy.