FENCES

Parts 1-4

by Jojo

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Part 1

The cowboy sat tall in saddle on the ridge overlooking the valley. His hazel eyes scanning restlessly. Even though it was raining, this was still his favorite time of day when the work was done and he was ready to head back home. Suddenly, his eyes stopped on the rider coming from the North.

“Heath” he breathed. He hesitated for a moment and then turned his horse South and rode away not ready to greet his brother yet.

Heath was riding slowly, savoring the familiar surroundings. He thought he saw someone on the ridge a moment ago but they were gone now. He thought back to when he left over three months now. He was in bad shape then. Nora who he had been courting was dead and he was recovering from a gun shot he received when they had been ambushed by outlaws. All he knew at the time was that he had to get away for awhile. Nora’s parents blamed him for her death and he blamed himself. He needed some time to come to terms with everything that happened but he sure missed everyone here.

He was nervous about how the family was going to react to him just showing up without any warning especially Nick. Heath knew Nick would be the most vocal about him not keeping in touch and how long he was gone. Victoria would probably just admonish him but welcome him back into the fold. Audra would just be happy to see him and Jarrod, well, he would say in his calm voice, “Welcome back Brother Heath” and wait for any explanations when Heath was ready to give them. But Nick wouldn’t wait as Heath well knew. Nick was a man of action and although he had been patient with Heath on occasion, Heath knew this would not be one of those times. He felt guilty at leaving at one of the busiest times on the ranch and leaving Nick to carry the load alone but he wouldn’t have been much good anyway if he stayed.

He gave Charger a nudge to speed up. Now that he was here, he couldn’t wait to see everyone even if it meant a confrontation with Nick. He just wanted – just wanted – he couldn’t put into words. He just knew that he had to see the family and be near them. He never thought it was possible to miss someone as much as he had missed them especially the last couple of weeks. Well, it here goes he thought as he saw the house come into view.

“Hey Ciego! You still moping around here?" yelled Heath as he entered the yard.

“Senor Heath – Senor Heath. You are back. Wait until the family sees you." Answered Ciego taking Charger’s reins from Heath. “You want me to take care of Charger for you?”

“Si Ciego – Gracias. Who’s home?" asked Heath

“Everyone but Senor Nick. He is still out on the ranch somewhere.”

“Thanks – I’ll be out later to get my gear,” Heath replied as he headed towards the house. He hesitated at the front door, then straightening his spine as he opened the door.

“Audra, I don’t think that holding an auction here right now would be a good idea” he heard Victoria saying.

“But Mother – you know the last one went so well. Look at all the money we raised for the orphans. This one could totally rebuild the school. You know we need to.”

“Yes, dear but with worry about flooding right now, I don’t think you will get the support you need." Replied Victoria.

“Well, sis you got my support no matter what you decide to do,” Heath said as he let his presence be known.

“HEATH” Audra shouted joyfully as she flung herself in his arms. Heath picked her up and let the warmth of her embrace just wash over him. He looked over her shoulder to see Victoria smiling at him.

“Mother, it is good to see you” Heath said to the family matriarch.

“Heath – It’s good to see you. Finally” Victoria replied as came up to him with her arms outstretched. He enfolded her into arms and felt the peace he knew he would find there.

Victoria really looked at Heath. He seemed fine. A little bit skinny but he always had a hard time keeping the weight on. As soon as he went on the trail or got a fever, he seemed to drop the pounds quicker than anyone she had every seen. Silas and her would just get his weight up when something happened to him and he would lose it again. But it was his eyes she really wanted to see. Those expressive Barkley blue eyes of his told a story all their own. She looked deep into his eyes and saw that he was home to stay. Victoria gave him an extra squeeze and then stood back to let him enter the parlor.

“Mother – what is all the noise about?" Asked Jarrod as he walked out of the study. “Brother Heath – you’re back." Jarrod walked over to Heath and gave him a one arm hug as he steered him over to the drinks table.

“It’s good to see you. What will you have?" asked Jarrod as he poured himself a Scotch. “Mother? Audra? Would you like a sherry?”

“Yes, Jarrod I think a sherry would do just nicely right now” replied Victoria.

“No nothing for me Jarrod, I am too excited to sit still anyway” Audra answered.

“Whiskey sound right fine to me” Heath drawled back to Jarrod.

After Jarrod had poured and served everyone’s drink, there was an awkward silence as everyone in the room was wondering where to start.

“Oh Heath – It’s just so good to see you sitting there. We have been so worried about you. How could you not even write? I missed you so much – no one would play cards with me around here or help me with the dogs like you did." Audra blurted out after a moment.

“Now Audra – Heath will give us an explanation when he is ready. Don’t pounce on him the minute he walks in the door. You know that is not how Heath handles things. Let’s just be glad that he is here now and won’t ever go so long without letting us know where he is again. Right Heath”, smiled Victoria.

“Uh – Right Mother” blushed Heath. He gave her that special sideways grin of his and looked to Jarrod for help.

Jarrod picked up the cue for help and said “Right answer Brother Heath. You know you never win any arguments with Mother anyway. At least none where the health and whereabouts of the family are concerned. Come now Heath – you must want to take a bath and get changed before dinner. Your room is just as you left it." Jarrod looked over to see how Heath was doing. He saw him relax and stand up.

“I left my saddle bags out at the stable. I’ll just go and get them and take that bath. I have a week’s worth of trail dust to wash off.’ Heath replied gratefully as he rose to go out to the stables.

After he left, Audra said, “ Isn’t it wonderful Mother – Heath’s home. I bet Nick will be grateful. He sure needs the extra help right now doesn’t he”.

Victoria looked thoughtful, “ Yes, it is wonderful that Heath is back where he belongs but I wouldn’t count on Nick being grateful. He has been through a lot these past few months with Heath gone. I don’t know that he will forgive Heath as readily as you think. He will eventually knowing Nick but he hasn’t really been himself lately and I haven’t been able to exactly put my finger on why.”

“But Mother – Nick and Heath have been so close. How can you say that Nick won’t be happy to see him” Audra argued.

“Audra – It is because of that closeness that I am worried how Nick will react. I don’t know and that’s what bothers me." Victoria looked at Jarrod for confirmation.

Jarrod looked down at his hands deep in thought before he replied. “I think Mother’s right. Nick has always been an unknown quantity as far as his reactions go. He feels things so deeply. I know you’ve been concerned about him lately, Mother. Nick really hasn’t been himself since Coco died. I thought he was mourning the loss of his companion of so many years but I think that you are right and there is more to it.”

“Well, I guess we will know soon enough won’t we? I am going to tell Silas that Heath is back and get a bottle of champagne for the table. This should be a celebratory dinner. The whole family sitting at the table for the first time in months." Victoria still looked thoughtful as she went in search of Silas.

“Jarrod – what do you mean Nick hasn’t been himself? I mean, he seems to be doing everything he used to do." Audra looked at Jarrod in confusion.

“Audra – Nick seems to be doing everything he used to but he doesn’t seem to be doing it with the same,’ he hesitated searching for the right word, “ with the same joy he used to. Nick’s approach to life has always been seize the moment and now that I think about it, he has just been going through the motions the last month or two.”

“Really, Jarrod why do I never seem to see what you and Mother see?" worried Audra.

“Because little sister, you want everyone to be happy as you are. Now stop worrying about it. Nick and Heath will eventually make peace with one another although there might be a few fireworks in between. Life will not be dull around here for awhile at least. Let’s just make the best of it and be there for both of them if they need it.”

“Alright Jarrod but I wish there was something we could do. Maybe I should ride out and find Nick. You know give him some warning so he can cool down a bit before he gets home.”

“No Audra, Nick will be home soon enough anyway. Whatever happens will happen without our interference. Heath and Nick will work it out – if anything needs to be worked out. We could be worrying about nothing. Nick just might welcome Heath back with open arms and your fretting will have been pointless. Let’s just wait it out. It won’t be long now. Come get your cards out and I’ll play a few hands of whist with while we wait for dinner." Jarrod waited while Audra seemed to make up her mind whether to listen to Jarrod or follow her instinct to ride out and warn Nick.

She finally smiled up at him and said,” You better give me a good game Jarrod. The last few times we played, I would have sworn you weren’t paying any attention." She bantered good naturedly. Jarrod let out the breath he had been holding. Audra would stay put. He did not want her to go warn Nick as he knew she would be hurt if Nick started ranting about Heath. Audra did want everyone to be happy but was always especially worried about Heath.

While Audra and Jarrod played cards and Heath took his bath, Nick was debating on whether to turn his horse around and start for home or ride a bit further. His decision made, Nick turned his horse around and headed for the house still unsure what to do when he got there but knowing he couldn’t put it off forever. He wasn’t one for waiting for things to happen even when it was unpleasant. Let it happen and move on as far as he was concerned but this time, well this time he didn’t know whether waiting would be better. By the time he turned Lightening into the yard, he knew what he going to do.

The family was all gathered in the parlor having before dinner drinks when Nick walked in. They all seemed to holding their breath as one waiting for Nick’s reaction.

“I saw Charger in the stable – Heath must be back. Hey - Little Brother good to see you. Excuse me but I am going to wash some of this mud off before dinner. See you in a bit." Nick said pleasantly and walked up the stairs.

As they expelled their breath, Audra said, “See that wasn’t so bad was it. Nick is as happy as we all are that you are back home, Heath. I can’t wait to see what Silas and Mother have come up with for tonight. We would really like to make it special ……………………………….

Heath tuned out the rest of what Audra was saying. Nick’s reaction may have fooled her but it did not fool him. Something was not right. Nick did not really look at him as he was talking. He kinda looked at everyone in the room – but no one in particular. His voice sounded funny too. Not his usual bellow or the low gravely voice he used when he was really perturbed. Heath couldn’t put his finger on what was bothering him about that voice but it did not sound like the Nick he knew.

Jarrod and Victoria were having similar thoughts. They knew Nick as well. This was not what they were expecting. Whoever that pleasant, polite cowboy was that entered their home, it was not the Nick they all knew and loved. Jarrod was also speculating about that voice. What was the matter with Nick’s voice? When he really thought about it, it had been wrong for awhile. What was it? Think Jarrod you know him better than almost anyone. What was different? Then it hit him. He sounded as if he was speaking lines he memorized not with his usual zest. It was if Nick had lost his passion for living that made him such a dynamic personality. Jarrod looked over at Heath and Victoria and saw them deep in thought also. He knew that they were puzzling over the same thing as he was and wished they could discuss it. Maybe later, he thought. We still have to get through dinner and the answers we are looking for might just hit us in the face while they eating. Yes, he thought, let well enough alone for now. It was about the last reaction that they had expected but Nick was not known for being predictable. Maybe, he is just relieved that Heath is back safe and sound.

They all turned as Nick came bounding down the stairs saying, “I hope dinner is ready as I missed lunch and I am so hungry I could even eat Audra’s cooking right now”.

“Oh Nick, quit teasing. I am getting better you know.”

“Oh Audra you are right as it couldn’t have gotten any worse. Let me escort you to the table fair damsel”,. Nick bantered back.

The family headed to the dining room just as Silas was laying a platter of fried chicken on the table.

“Welcome home, Mister Heath,” Silas beamed at the young man who had befriended him.

“It’s good to be home, Silas. I surely did miss your company and of course, your wonderful cooking,” grinned Heath.

“Well, I hope enjoy your dinner as Miz Barkley and I worked hard to have a few of your favorites on the table tonight." Silas grinned back.

“Boy Howdy, a few of my favorites – the table doesn’t look like it can hold up all this food you put out.”

Victoria interrupted to ask Jarrod to open the champagne. After the glasses were filled, Victoria suggested a toast from Jarrod.

“Well, Brother Heath. It is good to have you back where you belong and I know Mother is particularly grateful to have her whole family at the table for a meal for a change. Raise your glasses and toast our good fortune of being able to all be together tonight.”.

Heath noticed Nick raised his glass but put it down without taking a drink. Victoria said grace and then the platters of food started around the table.

Nick asked Jarrod if he was in Stockton or San Francisco tomorrow. Jarrod replied, “Stockton. Why Nick? Do you need something?”

“Yeah, I need someone to meet the early morning train. I have ordered more burlap to make sand bags and the order should be in tomorrow on the early train. I really can’t spare anyone around the ranch and I was hoping you could meet the train and then come right back. I know you have to get up earlier than usual but it would really help if you could.

“I could go if you want, “ said Heath.

“No, now that you’re back I need you to help move the last herd out the area that might flood. I have got the rest to higher ground except for the ones in the west pasture." Nick replied digging into his food. He had not got more than a couple of mouthfuls before Silas came in with a mournful look on his face.

“Mister Nick, I am sorry to interrupt your dinner but Danny says to tell you that the mare has started her labor and you wanted to be told immediately” Silas reported.

Nick jumped up right away and grabbed a piece of chicken before leaving the table with his apologies.

“Oh I hope it all goes well. I know Nick is counting on that foal being a colt. It being the last that will be directly descended from Coco." Audra said.

“The last? Has Coco been really put out to pasture now?" asked Heath.

“Oh Heath,” Audra covered her mouth and looked weepy, “I forgot you didn’t know. Nick had to put Coco down last month. He was in paddock by the stable and sort of got real frisky again and would go tearing around the paddock. Nick was trying to keep a close eye on him and was coming back to the stables a couple of times a day. One day when Nick was leaving, Coco kinda went crazy, running in circles and stumbled and broke his leg. Nick had to shoot him.”

Heath looked down at his plate to try to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. When he had himself back under control, he asked, “How did Nick take it?" and wished he had been here for him.

Victoria answered Heath. “He took it very well. Too well in fact. He calmly asked some of the hands to lift Coco into a wagon and drove him out to the north meadow where he buried him all by himself. When he got back, his eyes were red but that was all the reaction that Nick seemed to have. To tell you the truth, Heath, I have been worried about Nick for awhile now. He isn’t reacting to anything the way we would normally expect him to react. Today was a good example. I don’t know who this overly polite, calm speaking cowboy is who spends as little time as possible in this house , but it is not my son Nick. It was one of reasons I was so happy to see you today sweetheart although, I was just glad to see you. I thought that maybe seeing you would snap Nick out it – whatever it is. I must admit I was hoping to see some fireworks just to reassure myself that the Nick I knew was still in there somewhere." Victoria looked up at Heath and saw the look on his face, “ Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you Heath when you just got back.”

“It’s okay Mother. I reckon I’d rather know what was going on than hiding things from me. I’ve been puzzling over Nick’s reaction every since he walked in so what you have said doesn’t surprise me. Jarrod – do you have any idea what’s bothering Nick?

“No Heath – I don’t. I have busy with a case in San Francisco and haven’t been around all that much. Mother did mention her concerns recently though and I started to pay attention but put it down to his loss of Coco. I did notice that Nick makes every excuse to leave the house not that he hasn’t been really busy but half the time he skips dinner and walks in straight up the stairs to the bathroom. Has a long bath and goes to bed without really talking to anyone. I tried one night to force him to stay downstairs for a drink, when he came back but he looked so tired and nearly fell asleep while I was talking to him so I didn’t get any revelations that night. He’s up and out of the house before Silas even has a chance to get him a cup of coffee. I talked to Davies and he said Nick has been eating most of the meals he does eat with the hands. I never thought I would say it but I would give anything to hear him bellowing as he came through the door. It just hit me tonight that his voice sounds a bit different too like he’s speaking lines that he has rehearsed beforehand.”

“I noticed that too. Maybe I should go out to the stable to give him a hand if he needs it?”

“No, Heath. He did tell me that he wanted to do this on his own and if needed any help he would not hesitate to ask for it. He knows your way with horses and would call for your help in minute if you were needed. This foal is too important to him. Believe me, if Nick needs any help on this one, you will be the first to hear of it. Now I suggest we adjourn to the parlor to have coffee and let Silas and Audra clear. You won’t mind dear, will you? I would like to talk to Heath for a moment." Victoria rose and walked by to the parlor.

Heath looked at Jarrod and Jarrod shrugged as if to say you are on your own on this one. I don’t know what Mother has to say. They both rose and followed behind Victoria.

“Now Heath, I know this is your first night home and we will not pressure you to tell us where you have been these past three months or so but you have to know that we were worried about you. No matter what happens today, tomorrow, ten years from now – I want your promise that you will keep in touch with this family. I know that I cannot expect your promise that you will never leave again but I do expect that you will keep us informed that you are alive and well and where we can reach you. Please Heath, look at me. I am not trying to make you feel guilty about your absence only not contacting us in anyway. A telegram saying Mother, I am fine. Heath would suffice. I would expect this consideration from any of my children and I think you know that Heath.”

“Yes Mother” he replied looking down at his shoes. He knew that tone of voice. When Victoria used that tone she was mighty angry and she sounded like she was mighty angry at him. He knew he deserved it so he didn’t even try to defend himself. He sometimes forgot that he wasn’t answerable to just himself anymore. That was one of things that belonging to a family meant. Well belonging to a Barkley family anyway. He should have sent a letter at the very least but time seemed to get away from him and before he knew it, he was on the journey back and thought, why bother, I’ll probably see them before any letter.

Victoria looked at the blonde head bent down and knew that she had made her point but was going to persist until she had Heath’s promise. She knew that if he gave his word, he would keep it.

“Heath, I am waiting”.

“Waiting – Mother?"

“Yes, waiting for your promise. I want to hear you say it not just Yes Mother”.

He looked up at her and said, “I promise to keep in touch if I every leave this ranch again even if all I send is a telegram saying Mother, I am fine Heath”, He looked up at her with blue eyes beseeching her to forgive him and give him another chance.

“Thank you, sweetheart. We will not discuss this again. Well, how does it feel to be home”.

Heath looked up at her in relief and gave her one of his rare smiles. “I never thought a place could feel so fine as this. I really needed that time to put a few things straight in my mind. Not only what happened with Nora but so many things have happened in my life over the past four years that I needed to sort out some things. I am not very good at putting this into words but I’m mighty glad to be home.”

“So are we brother Heath. So are we”. Said Jarrod

Out in the stables, Nick was adding more wood to the stove. He wanted the stables to be as warm as possible. The mare was going to foal a little early but he thought she might be birthing twins so that would not be that unusual. He knew from experience that the foals would need the heat after they were born so he cast an experienced eye on the wood pile to see if it would be enough. Yes, he thought. Danny had listened to his instructions to keep the wood pile high in here just in case. He walked back to the mare and rubbed her back just as Audra came in with a tray.

“How’s it going Nick? I thought I would bring you some coffee and something to eat since you did not have much of chance to eat at dinner”.

“Thanks sis. I appreciate it. It looks mighty good to me right now. It is going to be a long night." Nick replied. He noticed she had changed out of the fancy dress she wore at dinner and was now in her mucking out clothes.

“Can I stay to help Nick? I thought you might need another pair of hands.”

“Not right now Audra. As I said, it’s going to be a long night. I am pretty sure it’s twins and you know how long that can take,” he said and saw her long face. “I’ll send Danny to get you if we need help but you might as well go to bed for now. I think we will be all right. She knows and trusts Danny and me and well, you know how skittish a mare in foal can get. I think the less people in here the more relaxed she will be. I know you are impatient but I think that would be best for now.”

“Oh Nick, I know that you just want what’s best for Honey and I don’t want to upset her. I’ll go off to bed but know that my thoughts are here with you”. She gave Nick a big hug not noticing that he didn’t really hug her back.

“Okay Danny keep talking softly to her and stroking. The calmer she is, the easier time of it she will have." Nick’s attention was already back on the mare and did not notice Audra quietly slipping away.

When Audra came back to the house, Heath, Victoria and Jarrod were still sitting in the parlor. Each was sitting quietly with their own thoughts churning through their heads.

“Mother – I just took Nick a tray with some coffee and food. I thought he might still be hungry since he said he missed lunch and didn’t get much of a chance to eat dinner. He didn’t want me to stay though he did seem to appreciate the food. He said that he and Danny have everything under control and that the less people there that the calmer Honey would feel. He thinks she’s going to have twins! Wouldn’t that be wonderful”

“Yes, dear. That was very thoughtful of you. And it would be wonderful if Honey does have twins. I know that you want to be there but Nick does know best. Honey will probably feel more comfortable with only Nick and Danny there. Danny has turned out to be really patient with the horses. I am sure that the two of them will handle everything just fine and Nick will let you know the outcome as soon as he can. He has always lets you see a new foal just as soon as the mother is comfortable after the birth.”

“I know you are right Mother. It’s just that I can’t wait. I don’t know why with all the foals that have been born here but this one feels really important somehow. But I know Nick is right and I’ll just have to wait it out. Heath, so what have you been doing these past months?”

“Now Audra…” Victoria started but Heath interrupted her by saying, “ It’s okay Mother, I don’t mind her asking.”

“After I left here, I started North thinking I would go visit Sister Sarah at the mission. She’s always been a good listener and doesn’t judge or sugar coat her opinions. But I started feeling a mite poorly after a couple of days and came down with a fever. I kinda just let Charger have his own head and he led me to this ranch house. The next couple of days are real fuzzy but the family that lived there took care of me. Baker is their name and they were real hospitable. Mrs. Baker nursed me until the fever broke and then it took me a couple of weeks to get my legs back. I was only gonna stay long enough to do some work around there to pay them back for all their help but one day led into another and before you know it, I was there for a couple of months. They had three young boys, six, eight and ten but Mr. Baker sure needed help with a strong back for some of work that needed doing. After I left, I went to the nearest town. I was going to pick up a few supplies and head up to see Sister Sarah but you know my luck, I happened upon a bank robbery and was one of the ten people that got shot. Oh it was only in the arm but that there doctor was one of the worst I’ve every come across. I think he left more dirt in my arm than was on me when I got home. So of course, it got all infected by the time I reached the mission. The good sisters took care of me and nursed me back to health but Sarah wasn’t there. She was off escorting some orphans to some relatives that had been contacted to care for them. Her Mother Superior was real kind though and we talked a bit. I realized that all I really wanted was to return to the ranch and my family so I got on Charger and headed back." Heath finished his story and looked around the room at the faces he had missed so much.

“Well, Heath I am glad you met the Baker’s. They sound like a fine family. I will write to thank them for taking such good care of my son." Victoria said as she thought, I knew he wasn’t well enough to travel when he left here but didn’t say it out loud. She was also glad that Sarah was away. She knew that Heath still had feelings for her and it couldn’t be easy seeing a women you loved so far out of reach. Sister Jacob knew her true vocation and as much as she loved Heath, she loved her life in God’s service more.

“That be right nice Mother. I kinda promised Mrs. Baker that I would let her know I got home in one piece so we could mail them together. She’s very much like you Mother. If she doesn’t hear from me soon, I expect she’d show up on the doorstep waving a rolling pin or something. That women was always waving something at those boys. She was going to write you too Mother. I almost thought a letter would be here before me. So I thought I’d better tell you about them before you get this letter from someone you don’t know. Not much else to tell. Why don’t you get the checkers out Audra and I’ll keep you company for awhile. Don’t know how long I’ll last though as I have been riding hard all day. I knew if I pushed it today I would make it back before dinner. Just don’t take advantage of this tired cowboy tonight." Teased Heath.

While Heath and Audra set up the board, Victoria looked over at Jarrod. As always, he seemed to be able to read her mind and knew her concerns. He nodded towards the study and the two of them walked there to talk privately.

“Well, Mother I think we should just count our blessings for tonight. Heath’s home and looks in fine form and was certainly lucky to have the Baker’s take such good care of him. Nick on the other hand, surprised us all with his calm acceptance and we won’t get any more insights from him tonight. He is not going to leave that stable until he is certain that Honey and her new foal or foals are all right and won’t appreciate anyone coming out there and disturbing her until then. We will just have to leave things as is for now. It could have been worse. I was certainly prepared for one of his famous blow ups and I don’t know if it would have better if there had been a confrontation between Nick and Heath. But we will have to settle for what we got for now.”

“Yes, Jarrod I know you are right. But it is like waiting for the other shoe to fall. I know that nothing is really resolved. I just can’t believe Nick would be so casual about Heath. I know he was frantic to find him just days after he left. He even went out to see if he could find him and came back after four days looking so disconsolate. You were up in San Francisco at the time and you didn’t see him before or after he came back. But he seemed to rebound back to old self for awhile. It’s just so frustrating. It’s not like Nick to hold back. I’ve always been able to read his moods. It’s written all over him. Not this time though and I have to admit I am stumped.”

“Knowing you Mother you won’t be for long. You always seem to find a way to help each of us though the dark paths that hit us on our journey through life. I am sure you will handle it with your usual aplomb when the time it right.”

“I hope you right Jarrod, I hope you are right. I am going to head up to bed and do some heavy thinking and I am sure that if those foals are born in the middle of the night, we will all be up to hear about it. If that doesn’t have Nick bellowing through the halls nothing will.”

Nick tapped lightly on Audra’s bedroom door and walked in. He smiled when he saw she was lying on top of the covers fully dressed. He knew she got so excited every time there was a new born on the ranch. He lightly tapped her shoulder and said “ Audra, wake up. Do you want to see them or not?”

Audra came awake instantly and looked at Nick, “Do I want to see them? What do you think I have been waiting for all night? How did it go? Them - is it twins? Colt or filly or both? Are they all right? Who do they look like? Nick answer me.”

“Keep your voice down. I would answer you if you let me get a word in edgewise. It’s twins. Both colts and they look like themselves. Now keep quiet until we get out of the house. Oh everyone is all right.”

Nick and Audra snuck quietly down the back stairs and went out to the stables. Audra gasped as she got her first glimpse of the twins. “Oh Nick. Look at them. What beauties. Aren’t they adorable? I see what you mean when you say they look like themselves. One is so dark a red that it’s almost black with the honey colored mane and the other is a rich gold with a dark mane. Oh but they are beautiful. What are you going to name them Nick?”

Nick put his arm around Audra as they stood there admiring the pair. “Got a couple of names I’ve been saving. When Jarrod was going to college, he came home for one of the holidays and brought a book about Greek Mythology. One day when I was in the study, the book was open on the desk. I was drawn to the pictures that were showing. One was of a god called Apollo riding this thing called a chariot with these fierce looking golden horses pulling him through the sky. The other picture was his brother who was the god of war named Aeries and he was being pulled by black horses that looked like they could spit nails. Since then, I have been waiting for a special set of twins that would deserve those names. The gold one will be Apollo and the dark one will be Aeries. What do you think Audra?”

Audra looked at Nick with tears flowing from her eyes. She gave him a hug while saying, “ It could not be more perfect big brother. I think these two will more than live up to your expectations. Look at Apollo. He’s looking us over now and I don’t think he’s afraid at all. Aeries seems to be the thinking it over. But they are beauties. Look at their lines and the way they hold their heads. Why they seem …………….

Nick just let Audra’s excited chatter flow over him. He was so relieved that everything went all right. He interrupted her to tell Danny to wake up Riley and send him over while Danny went to sleep. They just stood there quietly waiting for Riley to come back.

When Riley arrived, Nick gave him instructions for their care and tugged Audra out of there. They went to the kitchen and started breakfast as it was almost 5am. “I sure could use a cup of coffee Audra. I am going to go up and change first.”

“Change? Nick aren’t you going to at least have a short nap?”

“No. I am too wound up to sleep. I might as well get started on my day and come home for a nap this afternoon after I am sure the sandbagging is done. Will you remind Jarrod to go into town for me?”

“Sure Nick. But you better come home for lunch and stay home. You can’t run forever on no sleep you know.”

“Yeah, yeah sis. You are going to make a great mother one day. You sure have nagging down pat." He teased as he ran up the back stairs.

Audra’s eyes followed him looking worried but knowing there was no sense arguing with him. She was feeling pretty wound up herself so she could imagine how he was feeling. The last of Coco’s direct offspring and what a pair they were. She couldn’t wait until everyone else was up to show them.

Nick came racing down the stairs grabbed the coffee with a brief thanks before she could even gather her thoughts. Soon Silas was in the kitchen with her and she helped him get breakfast on the table.

Part 2

“Audra, we are eating as fast as we are going to. Do stop staring dear. It will not make us eat any faster,” Victoria said to the fidgeting girl as they were trying to eat their breakfast.

“But Mother, these colts are just unbelievable. I think they are finest ever bred on this ranch and I think Nick thinks so too. Just wait. You’ll see what I am talking about as soon as you lay eyes on them.”

“Alright, I’m finished. I will go with you Audra”, Heath said as he lay down his napkin. He wouldn’t have minded another helping of grits since Silas went to so much trouble to fix them especially for him but he knew his sister was busting a gut trying to sit still while they ate.

“We might as well all go. I admit I am curious to see what all the fuss is about.’ Victoria rose and with Jarrod on her arm, they all left the house to go to the stables.

“Boy Howdy sis. You were right about these two. I have never seen two more impressive colts in my life. What did you say Nick called them? Heath asked.

“Apollo is the golden one and Aeries is the dark one." Audra went on to explain Nick’s reasoning to the family. “Nick almost seemed like his old self this morning. A little quieter maybe but still we stood here with our arms around each for at least half an hour just watching these two. Just like we always do.”

“Apollo and Aeries are they? I wonder what else Brother Nick absorbed from my college days. I never even realized that he had looked at that book but knowing Nick I am sure it captured his imagination. He always liked the tales of King Arthur and Lancelot. Those Greek gods would have been right up his alley." Jarrod commented with a smile.

“We should let Honey rest and start our days. Jarrod, I think I’ll go in with you when you make your second trip into town. I am sure we could use some extra slickers and boots with all this rain and I have a list from Silas on household supplies. Audra could you help Silas on the breadmaking. We are trying to make some ahead for sandwiches if we need it tonight. Heath, I’ll see you at dinner." They all went their separate ways for the day and did not meet up again until just before dinner.’

“Mother – Nick did not come home for lunch like he said he would. So I bet he did not take a nap today at all. He better come home for dinner. He can’t keep going without any sleep.”. Audra looked out the window as she said this and turned back to the group looking worried.

“Audra – dinner is still a half hour away. I am sure Nick will be back in time, just in time, if I know him. Jarrod – I think I will have a sherry now please. Audra dear, please sit down. Heath – how did your day go?”

“It was just fine Mother. It’s good to be back. We got the cows moved to higher ground and checked all the fences in that area. I was going to try to get up to see if I could lend a hand with the sand bagging but the day was gone before I could get over there. I thought I would come back here first and dry off some before seeing if I was needed” Heath replied as he sipped slowly on the fine whiskey Jarrod had poured him. It sure was better than the rotgut he’d been drinking lately.

They all paused as they heard the front door open and close. Nick strode in without his boots but the rest of him had a fine coating of mud. He looked in and said, “I know I’m filthy but at least the sand bagging is done now. I’ll hurry and get cleaned up. Can’t wait for dinner. I hope Silas cooked a whole cow tonight, I think I could eat half all by myself." And with that he was up the stairs in a flash leaving the rest of the family staring up the stairs at his back.

“Well little sister, it looks like he made it back for dinner and Heath you can stop worrying about having to sand bag and have a dry night. With any luck the rain will stop soon and we can all stay dry.." Jarrod commented .

Nick bounded in the parlor twenty minutes later with his hair still wet from his bath but looking much better than he did when he came in the door. The family assembled in the dining room for dinner. After Silas had placed the last platter on the table, Victoria said a quick grace so they could begin.

Nick just filled his plate when he noticed Silas standing in the doorway looking hesitant.

“Silas what’s the matter. Do you have something you want to say?" asked Nick.

“Oh Mister Nick, I trying to figure out whether to disturb your dinner again. Mr. Soames came to the door to give you a message but I wanted to let you eat first.”

“What’s the message Silas?”

“He got word that the river has crested over Blue Meadows way and should be here sometime tonight.”

Nick grabbed some bread and put a healthy helping of steak between two pieces and started away from the table.

“Oh Nick. Could you at least finish one meal at this table? I am sure that you could wait fifteen minutes before you go out again." Victoria urged.

“Wait for me Nick. I’ll go with you." Heath said rising also.

“No Heath. You might as well enjoy your dinner. I am just going to make sure our levy will hold. I’m pretty sure it will but I want to be on the safe side. Get some sleep because if it doesn’t, we will be working throughout the night. Mother, I’ll eat this on the way. Silas can you fill a canteen of coffee and put some more sandwiches in a pack for me while I go up and get some more clothes on. Thanks." And with that he strode quickly from the room.

“Another night staring at his empty chair. Honestly Mother I think we are going to have to knock him out to get him to stay in one place for five minutes,” Audra said worriedly.

“Audra, there’s just a lot going on right now. After the next couple of days, we will know what damage the flooding has done and we can hope things will get back to normal. Heath, sit back down. Nick is right. Have your dinner and get some sleep. If the situation gets really bad, we may all be out there helping throughout the night. We can hog tie him down after that if we have to." And with that pronouncement from Victoria, the rest of the family continued on with their dinner.

Nick and his men sat on their horses on top of the ridge by the orange grove as the rain poured down on them. Nick heard Soames yell that the crest was coming and he had his eyes fixed on the sandbags down below. He would have to give his head a shake every few minutes as his eyes seemed to be wavering on him from time to time. Damn he was tired. He could fall asleep sitting on top of his horse. He grabbed the canteen of coffee that Silas had prepared for him and took a long swallow. He could hear the water rushing in the distance and knew the crest would be here soon. He finally saw the wall of water approaching and closed his eyes in prayer for a moment hoping the sandbags would hold.

Two hours later the tired cowboys were jubilant. It looked like their levy would hold. They turned to Nick sitting there so quietly. He instructed them to head back to the ranch and called Davy over to give him a message for the family.

Silas quietly knocked on Victoria’s bedroom door. “Good news Miz Barkley. Mister Nick sent word that the river’s crest has passed the orchards and the sandbags are holding. He is just going to check that the irrigation trenches are holding and will be home soon. He said everyone could rest easy now.”

“Thank you Silas. I know everyone will be relieved. I’ll just check if anyone is waiting up for news and then I think I will go to sleep.”

Victoria saw a light under Heath’s door and knocked before entering. Heath was still fully dressed sitting in his chair by the window. He looked deep in thought and didn’t look up until Victoria was well into the room.

“I thought you would want to know that Nick sent word that the levy’s holding and the crest has now passed by the orchards. You won’t have to go out in that cold rain now.”

“Where’s Nick? I see the ranch hands have all come back but I haven’t seen him.”

“He’s checking the irrigation trenches are holding before heading home. He should be back anytime now.”

“I should have been out there not him. He hasn’t had much sleep since I got here. Hell, he hasn’t gotten any sleep. Sorry Mother. And he keeps being so polite like and asking me to help in area’s that are going to be as far away as possible from him. Asking me like I was a guest at the ranch, Mother, not telling like he normally would have done. It’s not like I don’t appreciate him not trying to use me as a punching bag but I surely would like to get it over with and have things get back to normal. I thought I knew the many faces of my brother but I don’t know this Nick. I think I’ll just wait up till he gets back and have me a talk with him." Heath looked at Victoria for confirmation.

Victoria paused before answering the unspoken question in Heath’s eyes. Was he doing the right thing to force the issue now or should he wait and let things slide back into normalcy. But would this be the catalyst that Nick needed? Maybe it would but not tonight when Nick had to be totally drained from the last two days. “Sweetheart I know that waiting is hard but I think that you should wait until Nick has had a chance to catch up on his sleep at least. I don’t think that you will get any resolution if you try to talk to him when he is dog tired. Why don’t you try to get some sleep now and see what tomorrow brings?”

Heath nodded as he said, “You’re right Mother. I’ll wait a spell and try to get some time alone with him soon. “ He rose from the chair and went over to Victoria to give her a hug. “Thank you and maybe we should both try to get some sleep now.”

Victoria left the room after wishing Heath good night but paused before returning to her room. Should she wait up for Nick just to make sure he was all right or trust he would have the good sense to return home as soon as possible? She would return to her room and wait up for him.

Victoria woke up stiff from sleeping in her chair. What time was it? Did she sleep through the night and not hear Nick come in? She certainly hoped that was the case and that he was not still out there. She quickly changed and went downstairs.

She was greeted by several morning Mother’s from her children seated at the table. They were all there even Nick. “It is a good morning isn’t it. It’s nice to see the sun shining again. Nick thank you for sending word last night. I am so glad that all your hard work paid off. What time did you get in last night?”

Nick replied but did not look her in the eye when he did, “ I am not sure Mother. I went straight to bathroom to have a hot soak in the tub and stumbled right into bed after that. Oh by the way, I won’t be here for dinner tonight. I promised the men that if that levy held I would buy them a nice big juicy steak at Cattlemen's. Davey is going into town this morning to make all the arrangements. Heath could you keep an eye on Apollo and Aeries while we are gone? If they are going to develop colic now is the time they’ll get it and I want to take Danny with us tonight. The boy turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago and we have been so busy we haven’t had a chance to take him out with boys.”.

“Heath - if you want to go with the men, I’ll look in on the colts for you, “ Jarrod intervened hoping that Nick and Heath could spend some time together.

“No offense Jarrod but those colts mean a lot to me and I know that Heath would be able to spot any trouble long before you could. If you would rather go tonight Heath, I’ll stay back so you can go.”

“No Nick, you should go. I don’t mind watching the colts for you,” mumbled Heath amazed that Nick would make that offer.

“Well, Danny and I won’t be too late. We are going to ride in ahead of the men and run some errands before we head over to bar. I figure I better get him out of there early before he drinks himself sick. Besides, that bed of mine has been missing me and I need to catch up on some sleep.”

Victoria watched the interplay going on at the table and if a stranger was watching, they would have thought that everything was normal. But it was anything but normal for this table. Everyone was being so overly polite. She remembered some very rambunctious times at this table when she wished that this is what it would be like instead of a free for all. Now she was wishing that a chair or two would go flying and that loud bellow of Nick’s would start bouncing off the walls. She must remember to be careful what she wished for in the future.

Nick was standing and ready to leave the table when he turned back and said to Heath, “Soames saw wild horses in the south canyon the other day. We haven’t had a chance to go look them over. Heath can you take McCall’s crew out there see if there are any worth rounding up? They had a good night’s sleep last night as I only took Davey’s crew out to levy until we knew if the sand bags would hold or not. Davey’s crew is going to have a sleep in today and work around the ranch until it’s time to head into town. Can you and Jarrod do the pay this afternoon? Like I said, I am going into town early with Danny”.

Jarrod ended up nodding his yes to Nick’s back as he strode out of the room not waiting for an answer. “Well Brother Heath it certainly looks like we got our assignments for the day. Nick does not really look like he got any rest last night either. He was being rather evasive on what time he got in wasn’t he?. I hope he does have an early night tonight. Although it will do him good to let loose with the boys. I know he’s had a lot on his plate lately but now well, the ranch should return to normal." Seeing the look on Heath’s face, Jarrod added, “ Well what goes for normal around here anyway. I know the work never ends but the worry can be put away for awhile until the next crisis hits. I’ll see you around three to hand out the pay.”

They all rose from the table and went their separate ways but their thoughts were all practically identical, What are we going to have to do to get this family back on track? Why do we think it’s off track when everyone seems to be getting along so well?

By the time Heath returned with a few wild horses to add to the Barkley stock, Nick and Danny had already left for town. He joined Jarrod at the bunkhouse and helped distribute the week’s pay. Many of the hands were new to Heath and he sized them up as he handed out their wages. It looked like Nick had found himself a good crew. Heath was glad as he knew it made all the difference if there were no trouble makers in the group. He wandered over the stables to check on the colts and noted how clean and fresh the stalls were. Danny was doing a terrific job here. But knowing Danny’s devotion to Nick, it shouldn’t be surprising. Thinking back to when Danny first joined them at the ranch after kidnapping Nick, he couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He often wished he could have seen Nick’s face when he realized that he had been trapped and tied up by a fourteen year old boy. Come to think of it, there were at least four or five of the younger hands that ended up working on the ranch as boys and stayed. Nick was famous for defending the underdog and bringing him home. Victoria once commented that if Nick kept this up the ranch would soon be called the Barkley Ranch for Wayward Boys. Nick always seemed to know which ones to bring home though. They sure straightened up with Nick’s tough but fair handling and seemed to hero worship Nick. Not a bad hero to have thought Heath as he walked up to the house.

After dinner, Heath wandered by out to the stables to check on the colts. He was glad to see that they looked fine and weren’t showing any signs of colic. He knew Nick would be frantic if those two got sick. Suddenly, he heard horses entering the yard and looked out to see Nick and Danny riding up. Danny was wearing a silly grin on his face while Nick seemed to be watching that Danny stayed on his horse.

“That shurrrrrrrre was fun Nick wazzzn’t it? Why’d we have to come back so early though? I just got sharted when it was time to go. Boy, you shurrrrrrr got me one fine present Nick. Shanks again for the rifle. It shurrrr is fine. Wanna go hunting now so I can try it out?”

Nick smiled over at Danny and shook his head, “ You aren’t going anywhere but bed right now boy. Me too for that matter. We sure haven’t got much sleep around here the last few days and I need you to be clear headed tomorrow. It’s Sunday and the family will be off to church and visiting for a good part of day. Those colts aren’t out of the woods yet and I need you watching out for me.”

“Kay Nick whatever you say. Shurrrr was a good birthday celebration though huh? Never could remember anyone celebrating that I was born before I came here. Shanks again Nick. Night night Nick. Ha ha ha. Sounds funny doesn’t it. Night night Nick”.

Nick took Danny’s horse and walked back to the stable as he heard Danny laughing and talking to himself into the bunk house. As he walked in, he saw Heath standing there and he automatically tensed. Heath offered to take Danny’s horse and put him away for the night. Nick handed him the reins and went to take care of his own horse. They worked in silence and walked towards the colts at the same time.

“They’re looking good Nick. Danny’s doing a might fine job keeping these stables clean and comfortable for them.”

Nick gave Heath his thanks and started to walk back to the house but Heath barred his way.

“Nick – can we talk? I think we need to clear the air between us and we need to do it now”. Heath looked at Nick trying to gauge his reaction.

“Maybe we do Heath maybe we do but not right now okay? To tell you the truth I am having a hard time just putting one foot in front of the other right now. I’m really beat and it’s taking everything I got right now just to get this body up to bed. It can wait until tomorrow.”

Heath looked at Nick and saw the dark circles under his eyes and knew that Nick was not exaggerating his exhaustion. He may have gotten to be the master of avoidance but Heath realized Nick was right and this was not the time. Nick still would not look him directly in the eye but Heath wasn’t going to push him.

“Sure, tomorrow will do fine Nick. Get yourself off to bed now ya hear." Heath drawled as stepped aside for Nick to pass. He watched the tall cowboy walk carefully up to the front door as if he had to concentrate very hard just to keep walking. He saw Nick sway slightly before he finally opened the door and walked in. Heath hoped Nick would head straight for bed as he sure looked beat.

Nick glanced into the parlor and saw Audra reading a book. Victoria and Jarrod were no where in sight for which he was very grateful. All he wanted to do was make it up those stairs and get to bed. Tomorrow was soon enough to think up some way to continue avoiding Heath. He said good night to Audra and quickly made his escape up to his room.

In the morning, the family was all gathered around the dining room table wearing their Sunday best even Heath. Victoria looked at him with surprise and received that special grin of his. Well this is an excellent start to the day she thought. Heath attending church with them was unusual. He generally joined them only on special occasions. Audra was chattering away about the selections she had been practicing on the organ for today’s church service. Jarrod was making polite comments and reassuring her that everything would go smoothly. Nick and Heath were digging into their breakfasts like they hadn’t eaten in a week. All seemed normal.

The men soon left to ready the buggy and horses and they were on their way. As Jarrod had predicted, the music went smoothly and the congregation gathered outside to visit as they usually did after the service. Dan O’Malley, a nearby rancher, came over to Victoria as she was talking with some of her friends.

“Hello Dan. Isn’t wonderful that the rains have stopped? Did you get any flooding out your way? We were fortunate our levy’s held.”

“Morning Victoria. Yes I was just telling Nick that we were fortunate also. Colleen invited him to have luncheon with us and I’ve talked him into checking out my new bull. Somethings just not right and I sure could use Nick’s opinion.”

Oh Nick thought Victoria. Is this another one of your avoidance tactics? “Just make sure you send him home for dinner. I’d like to have all my children around the table for Sunday dinner tonight. It seems that we haven’t been able to do that for awhile”.

As the rest of the family gathered to return home, Audra asked where Nick was. Victoria told them about his plans with the O’Malley’s as she watched Heath closely. His face closed up with his best poker face as he mounted Charger and rode off without making a comment.

Nick arrived home just in time to join the family in the parlor for a quick drink before dinner. Dinner proceeded as usual until Audra asked Heath if he had finished his letter to the Bakers so she could post it for him in the morning.

“Bakers? Who are the Bakers?" barked Nick before he could help himself.

Here it comes thought Victoria as she glanced at Jarrod.

“The Bakers are a family that Heath stayed with when he was gone,” Jarrod replied quickly as he tried to gauge Nick’s reaction.

“Well now, these Bakers must be pretty special people to warrant a letter from Heath especially since he couldn’t be bothered to send one to his own family to relieve their worries while he was gone. I guess everyone else has heard at about them except me." Nick fired back.

Heath looked straight at Nick as he answered. “I reckon they were special and you would have heard about them too if you had been around to listen to anything.”

Nick leaned forward and spoke with his jaw clenched tight, “ I don’t need to hear your story Heath. I pretty much know what you were up to when you left here but it don’t matter none anyway. Gone is gone as I far as I am concerned. That pretty much told me how much this family means to you without any of your explanations.”

Now Heath’s jaw clenched as he replied, “No Nick you don’t know what this family means to me.”

Nick interrupted Heath before he could say anymore. “Oh it means so much that you couldn’t even send a telegram to let Mother know you were okay. You couldn’t send word through these wonderful Baker people that you were alive and well. You couldn’t write a few words on a piece of paper and post it off. Yeah that surely does show how much this family means to you. I knew you didn’t want any fences around you boy but I kinda figured after four years of living with us, you would know how this family operates. Guess I was wrong again.”

“No Nick you weren’t wrong but before you start in on me remember you did the same thing yourself when you get bit by that rabid wolf. You just took off without letting anyone know where you were either." Heath shot back.

“Well now Heath I really don’t see the comparison. I left to protect this family and I also made arrangements that this family would be notified when I died and wrote a letter to each and everyone of you explaining what had happened and said goodbye.”

“All the same Nick, you had us worried to death. We knew something was terribly wrong but we didn’t know what. You placed Heath in a very awkward position by making him promise not to tell us." Victoria spoke up trying to make Nick see Heath’s point of view.

“I still say I did the right thing and knowing what I do now, I would do it the same way again. Wait a minute Mother,” Nick said as he saw Victoria was about to interrupt him. “You don’t know what it was like. I do. And I KNOW you Mother. You always say I have my father’s stubbornness but I figure I got a double dose and got yours also. You would have told Doc Merrar that you could take care of your own son. No one would have been able to persuade you otherwise and I would have killed you, Audra and probably Heath and Jarrod. I was better off with Julia. Although she came to care about me, she had no hesitation about tying me up to that bed when I felt an attack coming on. Would you have done that Mother? Would you have tied me down on my own bed and watched me writhing and screaming and practically foaming at the mouth? I made kindling out of Julia’s bed twice before I built one strong enough to hold me down. Would you have run out of room when you saw me going out of control and waited until the headaches had me down on my knees blind with pain. I don’t think so. All of you would have done your best to try to stop me from hurting myself or someone else and you all would probably be dead. I figure I am a pretty strong man to begin with but when those attacks hit, my strength seemed to be almost unlimited. Jarrod and Heath together would not have stood a chance. So don’t tell me that my leaving and Heath’s leaving are the same thing. At least you would have known what happened to me when Po sent those letters." Nick finished on a growl.

The family was stunned at these revelations. Each had a picture of Nick writhing on the floor in pain from a headache after he came home. They remembered he said that they were better now and that this was nothing compared to the ones he had suffered in the previous two months. And before long, he was up and working around the ranch as though nothing had happened so they didn’t really absorb the full details of what Nick had actually gone through. They were just happy to have him home and that he was going to be all right.

“Nick, we don’t have the right to question Heath’s decisions especially since you don’t know Heath’s story." Jarrod spoke quietly.

“Maybe you don’t have the right. But I do. You know why I don’t need to hear all the details from Heath. It’s because I pretty much know what happened to him. What was it Heath? Three – four days before you ended up in a delirium after you left here. When you had no business riding out in your condition in the first place." Nick was looking directly at Heath now with his voice getting more deeper by the minute.

“Whose name were you calling out for help Heath? MINE that’s whose name. It was me that was woken up at two in the morning hearing you call out. It was me that rode outta here searching for him. It was ME that heard him for three nights and then nothing. It was ME that had to ride back here not knowing if he was dead or just shut me out again. And I couldn’t really say anything to anybody because I didn’t know. And when was it Heath – maybe five or six weeks ago that you got shot? “

Everyone was startled. How did he know any of this? Heath hadn’t had a chance to talk to him yet.

“In the arm wasn’t it? Course as usual he didn’t take care of himself and ended up having a fever. Whose name were you calling then Heath? Calling Nick help me. I want to come home. It wasn’t any of you that had to decide what to do. We had branding starting and God knows what else and Coco acting crazy. It wasn’t any of you that had to decide whether to stay or go. And you know what Heath – I would have gone and to hell with everything else if I thought I would have found you. But after Coco died, I thought what if I head out and leave MY responsibilities to go on another wild goose chase just have you shut me out again. Don’t ever tell me I don’t have the right to question his decisions. He gives me that right every time he does this to me and leaves me questioning my sanity.”

“If you want me leave, just say so Nick. I’ll be gone in the morning." Mumbled Heath horrified by what Nick had gone through.

Nick slammed his fists into the table and his voice started to rise. “Leaving. That’s your answer to everything isn’t it? You don’t get it do you? Even when you leave, you are still here and you take a piece of Mother, Jarrod, Audra, Silas and me – everyone in this family – when you are gone. All leaving does is make everyone worry more. Arghhhhhhhhh!”

Nick stood up and ran his fingers through his hair as he started pacing. “I know that you all have been trying to protect Heath since he showed up. Scared I might beat the living tar out him. Watching me closely to see if an explosion is going to happen. Well, don’t worry none about that. I already figured out that even if I did beat him to a pulp, it wouldn’t change anything. Heath is gonna do what he’s gonna do no matter what any of us say. Heath this is your home as well as mine but from now on I want to make it perfectly clear that I run this ranch alone. If you want to help out FINE. If you don’t FINE. No matter what you decide to do you will always be welcome here but from now on this ranch is MINE to run." And with that closing shot he stalked out of the room.

Part 3

No one knew what to say. There had been so much said and they were all trying to absorb it. Audra had tears running down her cheeks while Victoria and Heath looked like they were just keeping theirs in check.

Jarrod was the first to recover and said, “Well, that was certainly enlightening. Out of all the possibilities running through my mind, I must confess that I wasn’t even close on any of them. It’s no wonder Nick hasn’t been himself lately. He must have been really spooked by those events. Heath, you know how close your bond with Nick has been. Did you know that you could contact him like that?”

Heath’s expressive blue eyes were guilt ridden as he answered. “Yes and no. Jarrod. I don’t understand it myself. I just know that sometimes when I‘ve been in trouble he seems to know and be there just in time. We sorta talked about it once but Nick wasn’t real comfortable with any of it. It seemed best to let sleeping dogs lie you know. I guess I never really gave it too much thought either after you told me about that time he was stuck in that mine and you knew. I reckoned it was just something that could happen between brothers. Oh God, I never realized what he had gone through." Heath bowed his head down low.

Victoria finally found her voice. “Heath, none of us here had any idea what Nick was going through either and we were right here with him." She noticed Silas standing there wringing his hands – a sure sign that he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. “What is it Silas?”

“Miz Barkley. I feels just awful. I knew what Mister Nick was going through or part of it anyway. It was just like he said. About four days after Mister Heath left, I heard someone moving around down here in the middle of the night. There was Mister Nick pacing in the study with a drink in his hand. When he looked up and saw me he said, “Silas, our boy’s in trouble – big trouble. He keeps calling my name and asking for help. Gonna ride out at first light to bring him home." And then he asks me to pack him a saddle bag with some food and heads upstairs to get changed. He just sat in the kitchen like he was trying to figure out what to do until the sun started up. Then he asked me to tell you where he was headed and left. When he came back, Mister Nick came to see me straight off and with such a look of defeat on his face told me he couldn’t find him and didn’t know if Mister Heath was dead or alive. Then about six weeks ago, I found him in the study again around two in the morning. He was pacing mighty fierce and muttering to himself. I asked if I could get him anything and he just gave me this funny kind of smile and said he had some good news for me. You’ll be happy to hear Heath is alive. Did you hear from him? I asked. He just gave me that funny smile again and said you could say that and then kept on pacing without looking at me again. I didn’t tell anyone cause I didn’t know what to say."

“Silas don’t fret about it. Without both Nick and Heath’s stories, we wouldn’t have put together what really happened anyway. Thank you for sharing this with us though. It does help put everything into perspective." Victoria smiled warmly at Silas and asked the family to move into the parlor as there probably would not be any more eating done that night.

“Audra would you mind bringing out the coffee tray. I certainly could use a strong cup right now. And Heath, I don’t want to hear anymore talk about leaving. Do I have your word?" Victoria looked sternly into Heath’s eyes.

“Mother, I…”

“Do I have your word Heath” she interrupted him.

“Mother, I think …..:

“Your word Heath. Now.”

“Yes, Mother you have my word that I will not just pick up and leave again." Heath gave in as he knew she really meant business. One did not argue with Victoria Barkley when she used that look and voice.

“All right then. Now that that is settled, I think that we should discuss how we are going to resolve this situation. Jarrod do you have any ideas?”

Jarrod stood up to pour himself a brandy and silently asked Heath if wanted to join him. Heath nodded yes and after Jarrod sat back down again he spoke thoughtfully. “I don’t think there is a simple solution that is going to appease Nick. He has stated that Heath is welcome here, that he wants him to stay but does not want to give Heath equal partnership in the operations of the ranch. We have to know why Nick made that statement. I don’t think Nick is being petty. He has always done what he thinks is best for this family and the ranch. If we could find out his reasons, maybe we could resolve this.”

“Maybe he thinks I don’t deserve his partnership,” Heath muttered staring at his brandy swirling in his glass. “Might be right there too you know.”

“Heath, I don’t want to hear that kind of talk from you. You are as deserving as anyone. We’ve been through this before and I do not want to go through it again. No, I think Jarrod is right. Nick said a lot here tonight but I don’t think he said enough. He was just a little bit too controlled and I think he left before he thought he would say too much. “ Victoria fell silent as she thought about the ordeal her son went through without any of their knowledge. She knew that he must have been in agony trying to decide what to do after Heath got shot and then Coco’s death on top of it. Well, no wonder he hadn’t been himself. Besides, Jarrod was probably correct in assuming Nick would have been spooked by hearing Heath’s voice. To tell the truth, she was feeling a little spooked herself not that she didn’t believe it but to hear someone’s voice that you loved so clearly asking for help and not being able to respond. Well that seemed pretty near torture to her and she knew it would probably be worse for Nick. Her son - the protector.

The house was now quiet with everyone in their rooms presumably sleeping. But Victoria was still wide awake. She had thought she was a keen observer but she certainly missed a lot in these past months. It was obvious now that Nick had been in a state of quiet desperation and did not know where to turn or even how to talk about what was happening. She should have known. Somehow she should have known that Nick was in trouble. They all just put it down to his missing Heath and Coco not realizing there was more to it. She got up and went to make herself a cup of tea when she looked down the hallway, she noted that Nick’s light was still on.

She tapped lightly on his door before entering. Nick was sitting in chair twirling a half empty whiskey glass in his hand. He didn’t seem to have heard her and kept his head down watching the amber liquid swirling around the glass. Victoria looked around his room – such clutter. But that was Nick. He may have seemed her toughest son on the outside but she knew he was the most sentimental. He kept everything that had some meaning to him. His saddle when he was a boy, the sailing ship that Tom and Nick had built, his arrowhead collection and many other memento’s were displayed throughout the room. His drawers were filled to over flowing with still more treasures he was keeping. Victoria crossed the room and sat down in the chair opposite him.

Nick seemed surprised to see her there and immediately said, “Mother, I do not feel like talking about Heath right now. I just want some peace and quiet.”

“You haven’t had much peace and quiet lately have you son. I won’t talk about Heath right now if you don’t want to but I would like to talk about you.”

“Haven’t got anything else to say about me. Said more than I should have tonight as it was."

“Oh Nick, I don’t think you said enough but that’s okay. It can wait if you really want to. But why didn’t you come and talk to me about what you were going through? Didn’t you think that it might help just to talk about it? If not me then why not Jarrod? You didn’t have to go through that all by yourself.”

“Mother – I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t. Sometimes I’d wonder if I was really hearing him or just losing my mind. Then I’d have a moment of utter clarity and it was like “YES” he was calling me. Then I’d turn around and have my doubts again. You know Jarrod and I have always been able to sense when the other was in trouble but it wasn’t like that Mother. It was a lot stronger than anything I’ve encountered with Heath before too. I could hear Heath’s voice as clear as if he was standing right next to me. I could almost see him. I felt the bullet hit his arm. I haven’t ever experienced anything like that before. And then it was gone. What could I tell you? Heath was hurt and maybe he’s dead but then again maybe not. What good would that have done? He’s back so it don’t matter much anymore anyways.”

“It matters to you Nick and that’s what counts. I have been sitting in my room the past hour or so trying to put myself in your place and it was a very lonely place indeed. I cannot begin to understand the depth of your pain and frustration. A lot of what you said to Heath tonight, I agree with. Each of us has a little piece of each other that we always carry with us. And as a family, we should be able to help each other through any trial. You should heed your own advice Nick. We are there for you also. You may think that you took the right route when you left us when you thought you were going to die of rabies but you should have given us the opportunity to share some of that burden with you and Heath. And you shouldn’t try to carry this burden you are carrying now by yourself. We all want to help you anyway we can. Why do you want to carry the responsibility of the ranch on your shoulders alone when you can ease the burden by allowing Heath to take his share?”

“For how long Mother? Until the next time something happens that he needs some time to himself. I have been doing a lot of thinking this past month. And like I said downstairs, I know Heath is not going to change. So I figured it would be easier on myself and the hands if I treated Heath like Jarrod. You know someone who lives here part time and helps out when necessary but not someone you can count on to be here on a day to day basis. He’s still my brother and I would do anything for him that I would do for Jarrod but I am not going to let this ranch fall by the wayside and go chasing after him everytime he gets it into his head that he’s responsible for everything that happens in this world. Maybe I learned a few things from him too like maybe it’s time I put up a few of those fences around me. Maybe I better learn how to protect myself instead of leaving myself wide open like I always seem to." And then maybe he’ll get out of my head thought Nick but not out of your heart a little voice whispered.

No Victoria cried silently. That is just what he doesn’t need but how to let him know. “Nick you have many valid points. And I am very glad to hear that you still consider Heath your brother, I have to admit that after dinner I was wondering if you were going to totally shut him out. But why don’t you wait and talk to him – spend some time with him before taking such a drastic stand. You know a decision such as this one has to come to a vote in this family. I don’t want this family drawing lines between you and Heath. No matter what the outcome of the vote someone will be hurt. Will you let this ride for a little while Nick, please? I know you are doing this because you think it is best for everyone but could you just give it a little time before you destroy a partnership that has worked well for both of you.”

"Again for how long Mother? Until we’re sure Heath is here to stay? How can we ever be sure? What if another Charlie Sawyer shows up and convinces him he’s not really a Barkley. You know I was so young when I took over this ranch and missed Father’s presence so much until Heath came along and I had someone to share it with again. I was relieved for a time after Heath joined me here at the ranch. Oh I know not at first, but after awhile we seemed to be able to read each other’s minds and really work together as a team. But you need at least two people for a team Mother, and this is not the first time he’s taken off like this. I’d rather be on my own than worrying about whether or not Heath’s gonna be here or not. No Mother I think this is the best way. If you and Jarrod want to look over the Barkley holdings and give him some other responsibilities, I won’t argue with that. Look, I don’t want to deliberately hurt Heath but I will if you push me. The men are used to taking orders from me and it will go back to the way it was when he first arrived. I know the men will stand by me and give him a hard time. If you and Jarrod really think about it, you will see that my way is the best. If the family decides to fight me on this, I will fight back with all I have Mother no holds barred. I don’t want it that way anymore than you do but I will NOT back down on this. This ranch means too much to me. I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into it for too long to just stand aside and agree to something I don’t feel is right. I will run this ranch on my own or not at all."

He looked Victoria in eye as he finished and she knew that it would be pointless to argue any further. He was not angry and ranting as she would have expected but very calm and determined. Almost too calm as if he planned what he was going to say and would say no more. And she knew he meant every word he said from the bottom of his heart. He obviously put a lot of thought into this plan and that this was not a spur of the moment decision.

She got slowly to her feet and embraced him gently. “Nick, I really feel that you and Heath need to talk about what you experienced when he was gone but if you are not ready yet, I won’t push. All I will ask of you though is to please do not discuss the ranch any further with Heath until Jarrod and I have had a chance to work out a solution and discuss it with the whole family.”

“Alright Mother. I won’t confront him. I have tried to avoid just that since he came home but if he backs me in a corner I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s fair enough. Good night Nick. Try to get some rest. You have been burning the candle at both ends for days now and you will need a clear head tomorrow.”

Victoria woke late the next morning and by the time she arrived at the breakfast table, only Jarrod was still seated. “Sorry to be so late but I did not get much sleep last night. I was going to come down and make myself a cup of tea when I noticed light from under Nick’s door and went in to talk to him." Victoria related her conversation with Nick to Jarrod. “What are you doing today? Do you need to go into the office or can we spend the time trying to work out a solution that would placate both Nick and Heath?"

“Mother, I am at your disposal. Just let me write out some instructions for my secretary. I will have one of the hands deliver the message for me and then we can get started. Excuse me lovely lady and I will be right back." Jarrod left the room and headed to the study deep in thought.

Victoria and Jarrod spent the better part of the morning discussing possibilities they felt might be workable. As they went into have lunch, Victoria said, “I think we need Heath’s input. We have Nick’s and I think that to be fair to Heath, we need to have his also. He might be able to point us in the right direction.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mother. I’ll go see if I can find out where Heath is working if he doesn’t come back for lunch. I can ride out and bring him home if need be.”

Just as he finished that thought, Heath walked in the door. “Nick had me working with those new horses I brought in the other day so I thought I would join you for lunch today." He informed them.

“That’s great sweetheart. We were hoping you would be able to join us. I spoke with Nick late last night and I think we have some things to discuss. But not until after lunch. Let’s just relax and enjoy whatever Silas has prepared." Victoria said as she put her arm through Jarrod and Heath’s arms as they entered the dining room.

After lunch, Victoria, Jarrod and Heath headed for the study. Victoria again related the conversation she had with Nick last night. She and Jarrod carefully watched Heath’s reactions as Victoria spoke. When she was done she asked Heath what his feelings were on the subject.

“Mother, I don’t really know what I feel about what happen with Nick while I was away but I did spend a good deal of last night thinking about him running the ranch alone. To tell you the truth, when I really thought about it, I reckon he already does. Nick always needs to know what’s happening on just about every inch of this ranch. Even if I was running a project, he always wanted to be kept updated on what was happening. He knows every penny that is spent, how many hours each hand works and probably what each peach or orange tree will produce. I may have done most of the book work but he always looked it over after it was done. He could always spot an error in a minute. The few times he was laid up or went away by himself and I would be in charge by myself, it always amazed me how much he actually oversees in a day and does a full days work besides. He doesn’t ask the men to do anything he wouldn’t do and usually does. I know that any rancher that had Nick Barkley as a foreman would pay top dollar and still think he’d got himself a bargain.’

Heath looked to Jarrod and Victoria with all the respect he had for Nick shining out his eyes. “I guess I can see where Nick is coming from and I’m relieved that he still wants me around. But I also feel that I belong on the ranch. For now, why don’t we just leave things the way Nick wants them and go from there. As long as he treats me with respect I reckon I can live with that. I don’t know if we can get back on the same footing we had before I went away. If we can, then I guess there’s no need to do anything. If we can’t, then maybe I’ll look at some of those other options you were talking about. Could we just leave it at that for now?" Heath looked pleading at Victoria. He just didn’t want a breach in the family because of him. “I could still spend some time looking at the mines and lumber mills like I did when you needed me before but I would like to spend most of my time here. If that’s okay with you?”

“Heath’s that’s fine with us as long it’s fine with you, son. Are you going to be able to adjust to answering to Nick for everything you do here though?”

“I reckon I pretty much did before anyway. Like I said, Nick has always needed to know everything that goes on this ranch. Not that we wouldn’t butt heads once in a while as you well know. But he’s much better at looking at the big picture than I am. He’s always looking for a better way something can be done or bringing home some new fangled gadget. He’s always reading up on new ideas for crops or crop rotation, what’s selling on the market and what’s not. This ranch is the most diversified spread I have ever seen or heard of and it’s mostly Nick’s doing. I sometimes think you all take what Nick has accomplished here for granted but I’ve worked on many a spread before I came here and let me tell you, the Barkley Ranch is something to behold. You just gotta respect the man for that. I guess I’ll just have to try to win back his respect ." Heath finished looking like he was wrung out. It was a long speech for him and it had cost him.

Victoria knew at once that Heath needed some time alone now and said, “Oh Heath, you know how stubborn that son of mine can be but he is fair man in the end. He will come around eventually. He won’t be able to help himself. I think you are right that time will ultimately heal this breech." She looked to Jarrod who had been unusually silent.

“I agree that what has been discussed regarding the ranch will resolve itself but I don’t think it solves any of the uncertainties Brother Nick has been wrestling with. Until he can come to terms with this experience, for want of a better word, and possibly more in the future, I don’t think he will allow Heath to go back into their old pattern. I am, of course, assuming that the reason Nick is making this stand it to put some distance between Heath and himself hoping that these experiences will disappear. I think I’ll contact a friend of mine in San Francisco who might be able to give us some information regarding Nick’s ‘experiences’. If I remember correctly, Johnson did some research into the validity of people who said they had “the sight” or could predict the future in college and was going to do some follow up because he was surprised at what he found. I think he called it psychic astuteness, if I remember correctly. I have to be in court first thing Monday morning and was going to take the early train in but I think I’ll go up on Saturday and see what I can find out." Jarrod also felt a little guilty that although he knew something was troubling Nick, he didn’t really make much of an effort to find out what it was. Well, now he knew and he was going to do something about it.

“That sounds like a good idea son. We’ll have a family discussion tonight after dinner but none of us will mention anything about Nick’s experiences as you called them, Jarrod ,until you have more information. I know how upsetting this has been for you Heath and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you are more than willing to meet Nick halfway here. Hopefully he will be as gracious as you have been." Victoria said as she was rewarded by a blush and shy grin from Heath. She hoped Jarrod would get some information for them that they could help Nick stop pushing them away. She stood up and said, “Now as I did not get very much rest last night, I am going to take a short nap. “

“Well, Brother Heath how about going out for a ride with me. I could use some fresh air to clear my head." Jarrod asked as he stood up.

“Sounds like a mighty fine idea Jarrod. Could use some of that fresh air myself." Heath replied and eagerly left the room.

* * * * * * * *

Nick rubbed his hair back in frustration. He was looking over the books for the winery and they seemed to be in order but he knew in his gut that something wasn’t right. He trusted his instincts but he just couldn’t find it. His mind kept wandering over the events of last night. He looked up when he heard the door open and saw Silas walk in with that dammed feather duster. Nick wondered what he was up to now. After a few minutes of watching him, Nick couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Silas, I told you before that I’m onto you. You KNOW that I KNOW that when you come in here to dust when I’m sitting here that you have some pearl of wisdom that you just want to tell me. Let’s just get it over with and spit it out.”

Silas kept on dusting but turned and smiled at Nick. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I just came in to clean this room. Sure is dusty in here. But I could mention that this poor old colored servant was a might touched when you was talking to Mr. Heath the other night that you included me as part of the family. Yes sir, I was a might touched”

“Poor old colored servant my foot. Since when? You have your nose in everything that goes on around here and probably a hand too. You know damn well that you had a hand in raising us as much as our parents when they were building their fortune. None of us forgot that Silas and you know it. Poor old colored servant? What are you buttering me up for? Don’t think I don’t know how you operate? I may not be the smart one in this family but I sure know how you work.”

“Why Mr. Nick, I surely don’t know what you are talking about. I just came in here to dust. And iffen you want to talk about your gift, I would be glad to listen.”

“My gift? What gift?" Nick looked at him obviously puzzled.

“The gift you’ve been given that allows you to help your family when they most need it.”

Nick put his head down in his hands. Gift? How could Silas call it a gift? A curse was more like it.

“Mr. Nick, I knows you don’t see it that way right now but it is a gift. I knowed other people in my lifetime that had the gift but I don’t think I seen anything as strong as what you got.”

Nick looked up at Silas and said, “You’ve met other people that hear voices and see things and they call it a gift?" He couldn’t comprehend how anyone could live a normal life with this ‘gift’.

“Yes, a gift. Think about it. How many times would someone in this family be dead now iffn you did not have this gift? How many times have you avoided trouble because of this gift? The Irish call it the sight. I bet it’s called a whole lotta other names too.”

“Well, I got a name for it and it ain’t fit to repeat in polite company that’s for sure. I just want it to disappear." Nick scowled as he looked up at Silas.

“Well now, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. If anything, it might get stronger as you get older. That’s what I’ve seen. And if that’s what’s gonna happen, might be wise to find someone who could maybe help you understand it.”

“Oh and I just bet you have someone in mind, don’t you Silas?"

“I might. I just might iffen you’d be willing to meet with her." Silas grinned with his back to Nick.

“Her? Come on now, who are you talking about Silas? It had not better be one of those carnival fortune tellers that swindle fools from their money.”

“Ain’t no fortune teller, Mr. Nick. It’s a friend of mine. She’s got it too but not as strong as she says her mama had before her. Runs in families she says. Wouldn’t be surprised if your daddy didn’t have it too. Just didn’t know it. He always seemed to know when to do something and when not to. Don’t think his gift was as strong as yours though. Just think about it. How does Mr. Jarrod know when you’s in trouble? Just think upon what I said. That’s all I’m asking . If you want to meet her, I’ll arrange it. Seems to me it couldn’t hurt none.”

“Alright, Silas, alright. I’ll think about it. That’s all I am promising for now. And as you have had enough time to dust this place ten times over maybe you’ll leave me alone to get some work done. Well? Don’t you have to get dinner ready or something,” Nick barked gruffly.

Silas knew when to push and when to it was best to beat a hasty retreat. He knew Nick would at least think about it and that was good enough for now.

“Yes, Mr. Nick you’re right. I do have to get dinner ready. Might be I’m making Chicken Creole tonight. I just might be,” Silas replied smiling as he left the room.

Poor old colored servant? Huh! More like wily old devil. Chicken Creole. Huh! More buttering up. Silas knew that was his favorite dish next to steak. Nick sighed deeply as knew Silas was only trying help in his own way and he appreciated it as he realized that Silas was only doing it because he cared. But he’d never wished he’d kept his big mouth shut before like he did right now. Wished he hadn’t spilled everything out when he’d lost it with Heath. He was going to be so calm.- so cool. Yeah right. That worked out real well, didn’t it? He could see the family especially his mother watching him carefully. Waiting for him to…..to what he didn’t know. He certainly was not going to discuss this with anyone in this family especially Heath. He needed to keep this distance between them. He just knew it. Maybe then this whole thing would be manageable. Not that he didn’t want to help if anyone was in trouble. That wasn’t his way. But he could do without repeating anything like those last couple of episodes. Well, he wasn’t going to think about that right now. He still had to find out what was wrong with those winery books and that’s what he would concentrate on for now.

* * * * * * * *

As Nick was helping himself to the Chicken Creole, he looked over at Jarrod and said, “Jarrod, I was checking over the winery books this afternoon and there’s something wrong with one of your entries.”

Heath looked over at Victoria with that “I told you so” look of his and a small grin.

“One of my entries Nick? What entry are you talking about?”

“Well, we either got charged twice for that last shipment of sugar or you entered it twice. Either way, we only got one shipment not two. I didn’t want to go messing around your receipts again since you got so riled up last time with the so called mess I made so I thought I just let you look for it. I marked the entries I was concerned about." Nick answered then put his energies into eating. Silas’s buttering up methods sure were fine.

“Okay Nick, I’ll take a look at it later. Did you go through all the books?" Jarrod replied as he noticed Heath’s grin at Victoria. Well, well he thought. I guess I don’t give Brother Nick enough credit where the books are concerned.

“Yeah, the rest looked fine. I’m glad that’s over with for another month. I hated being cooped up this afternoon now that all that sunshine is finally here. But it’s the first break I’ve had that I could really look and those winery books were nagging me." Nick then concentrated on eating so he could get out of there as soon as possible.

But it was not to be as Victoria looked around the table and said, “As soon as everyone as finished dinner, I believe we will take coffee in the study. We have a few things that need to be discussed and everyone in this family needs to be there. No exceptions." She looked at Nick as she finished to make sure he got the point.

He got the point alright. There would be no escape tonight. Oh well, might as well get it over with. He could hear them now. Saying how unfair he was being to Heath. Well, maybe he was his conscious prodded but he couldn’t be near Heath right now. He just couldn’t and he would fight them all if he had to.

Jarrod saw right away that Nick had that stubborn look on his face and that he was expecting a fight. Well, he thought ‘You are in for a surprise Brother Nick, one I hope you handle this in the right manner and do not push Heath the wrong way." Heath was as stubborn as Nick in a lot of ways but was more of peacemaker at heart. But insult his integrity or back him into a corner and he would come out fighting like a son of gun.

After Victoria’s pronouncement, dinner seemed a quiet affair and seemed to drag on forever. Finally, she announced to Silas, “Could you please bring the coffee into the study? I believe we are ready to adjourn there.”

Jarrod poured out brandy for his brothers and waited patiently for the coffee to be served. Nick had lit a cigar and was pacing by the window distancing himself from the others. Heath was standing by the pool table idly pushing the balls around the table.

After settling herself with a cup of coffee Victoria spoke, “I talked to Nick after dinner last night and to Heath this afternoon at great length regarding this ranch. I must say I was very gratified at the outcome as I did not want a dispute in the family. Nick, Heath agrees that you should be running the ranch. He has the utmost respect and admiration for your abilities to run this ranch. I believe his exact words were if any rancher paid top dollar to have Nick Barkley as foreman of their spread they would still be getting a bargain. “

Nick looked over at Heath with surprise in his hazel eyes and a little bit of guilt. Heath was staring down at his brandy glass and did not look up. Nick made to say something but Victoria continued before he could interrupt.

“Now Heath wants to continue working at the ranch and checking the mines and timber mills as he did before. He has conceded that you have run the ranch mainly on your own anyway and that you gave him the courtesy of thinking that he had an equal partnership. The only request that he has made is that he be treated with respect and not just like a hired hand. I don’t thinks that’s a lot to ask do you Nick?”

Nick did not know what to say. He was not expecting this. He was expecting a fight. That is what he was prepared for not Heath giving way like this. He had actually wanted a fight. That way he was sure he could keep a distance between himself and Heath. He had to say something so he could escape as fast as he could. He cleared his throat and said, “Wasn’t planning on treating him like a hired hand. Just wanted to make certain that it was understood who was responsible for this ranch. Told you that last night. So everything’s settled then?" Nick looked hopefully over at his mother wishing she would just say yes and he could leave. He needed some time to adjust to this new development.

“I don’t think we need to have a family vote on this since both Nick and Heath are in agreement, But Heath, dear, do you have anything you want to add before we consider the matter closed for now?" Victoria looked over to Heath who had still not looked up.

Heath was feeling pressured to say something but he couldn’t really think of anything to say. He was still feeling guilty at the ordeal he had put Nick through that he just wanted to do something to make Nick feel better. “No, I guess you said it all,” he mumbled.

“Well, Brother Heath, I for one am very glad that you will be back at the ranch. You can take over the books again. Nick why don’t you show us those entries so Heath and I can look for that receipt?" Jarrod interjected ever the peacemaker. He hoped Nick would rise to the occasion and stay to help as he looked like he was going to bolt the minute he could.

“I marked them real clear Jarrod. I don’t think you will have any problem seeing them. I need to go out to the stables and see the colts before I head up to bed. See you later." Nick headed out of the room as fast as he could without out and out running.

But Victoria wanted to add one more thing, “Nick before you rush out, I want to remind you that this family gathers as often as we can for meal times. I want to see you at our table more often than we have lately. Is that understood Nick?”

“Yes Mother. I will try to be at the table more often. Anything else?" Nick grumbled at the doorway.

“No, I guess that will be all”, Victoria replied obviously frustrated that Nick still wanted to avoid them. She watched him hurry to the front door and leave.

“Well he escaped as fast as he could, didn’t he? I thought Nick would be happy now." Audra said looking confused.

Jarrod smiled sadly at Audra and replied, “Audra honey, I don’t think Nick is very happy right now even though it seems like he got his way. It’s not what he really wants you see. It’s just what he thinks he wants and deep down he knows it. But stubborn is his middle name and once he sets his mind on something, it usually takes drastic measures to change it. It might even be possible that Heath’s gesture could make him rethink his stand. I thought I saw regret in his eyes for a moment there when Mother told him Heath’s evaluation of his ranching abilities.”

It was Heath’s turn to smile sadly at Jarrod as he finally spoke. “Well it was the truth Big Brother. Nick has his faults just like the rest of us but running this ranch is in his blood. I just couldn’t fight him on that. It’s probably better this way anyhow. Maybe it will give him some peace of mind. I reckon he could use it. Now if you all excuse me, I think I’ll just head up to bed. It’s seems like it’s been one powerful long day. I’ll look at those books tomorrow if you don’t mind Jarrod”

“Not at all Brother Heath. The books can wait. You just get a good night’s rest tonight. “ Jarrod said kindly as Heath got up and left the room. “Well Mother, you do not look very gratified with tonight’s discussion. Give it time. I think that the bond between those two is just too strong for Nick to ignore and if we can help him come to terms with it, he will come around.”

Victoria did not look as if she was convinced of this and replied, “I hope you are right Jarrod but I have this strange feeling that something terrible is going to happen before that occurs. I truly hope I am wrong.”

Audra looked frightened as she asked, “What do you mean Mother? Do you think Heath will leave forever? Is that what you think?”

“No Audra, I don’t know what I think. I don’t know what is going to happen and maybe nothing will but I have this worry that won’t go away,” Victoria shook her head at her fanciful notions as if to clear them away and said, “No, we have to think positively like Jarrod suggests. We will give them both the support they need and hope for the best."

“After this case finishes, I will try to stay in Stockton a little more than I have these past few months. I think I have been a little too neglectful of this family of late and I will try to rectify that situation. I have been turning away cases here because of my commitments in San Francisco. But that is coming to a close now and I will concentrate on some of my clients here." Jarrod walked over to Victoria and fondly patted her on the shoulder. “Will that ease some of your worries Mother?”

Victoria looked up gratefully at Jarrod as she held his hand. “Yes son, it would be comforting to have you close by. I just hope you do not feel torn between those two. And now, I am off to bed also. We haven’t been getting much sleep here lately and I hate to admit it but it is catching up on me." Maybe that’s all it is, thought Victoria. Maybe I am just overtired and if I get some rest things will look better in the morning.

* * * * * * * *

Over the next several weeks, the family seemed to settle back into it’s former routine. Nick and Heath would be up with the sun and out working on the ranch, Audra would visit the orphanage and her friends, Victoria managed the house and worked on her committees and Jarrod, true to his word, stayed close to Stockton other than a couple of short trips into San Francisco. But the camaraderie that used to be present between Nick and Heath was glaringly absent. Jarrod had tried to reach his friend in San Francisco only to find out that he was back East for a month. He had left word at his offices and hoped he would contact him as soon as he returned.

Jarrod felt very frustrated. He tried to spend time with both Nick and Heath but it was seldom that the three of them were together except at meal times. He couldn’t really even take Nick to task as he was unfailing polite to Heath. It was just that there was no more teasing or practical jokes between them that used to be such a large part of their relationship. He missed their banter. Nick knew just how to make Heath blush and used to find that absolutely hilarious. Heath knew just what buttons to push to get Nick’s goat and seemed to immensely enjoy the show when Nick ranted and raved. Everyone else wanted to head for the hills when Nick really got going but not Heath. He used to just sit there with that lopsided grin of his and ride out the storm. Now it seemed calm weather was prevailing and Jarrod did not know how to turn the tables around.

Victoria shared his frustration. She and Jarrod both tried to keep the conversation going at meal times with Audra helping as much as she could. She wished those boys were still ten years old and she could bang their heads together to knock some sense into them. Well, they weren’t ten years old anymore. They were grown men and she had to stand back and watch this distance between them grow. Jarrod kept telling her to give it time but she was running out of patience. She was worried that they would never get back to their previous relationship at this rate. But what to do? That was what had her stymied. She couldn’t force them to spend time together. At first it seemed that it was just Nick that was avoiding Heath but Heath now seemed to go out of his way to avoid Nick also. She couldn’t tell if this was Heath’s way of trying to deal with the situation or if he wanted this distance now too so he wouldn’t be hurt. She hoped not. Those two had been closer than even Jarrod and Nick had been. They had so much in common. If only they could see that. She hoped Jarrod’s friend would return soon so that they might be able to reach Nick before it was too late. That nagging worry was always in the background. She just felt it in her bones that something terrible was going to happen and there was no way to avoid it.

Victoria did not have to worry that Heath was trying to distance himself from Nick. He wasn’t. He was in the same boat as Victoria and Jarrod. He didn’t know how to change the situation. He felt uncomfortable with this Nick who treated him like a guest of the family. Polite but distant. Sometimes anger at Nick would creep in but then he thought about what Nick had gone through and he would firmly pushed the anger aside. Maybe Jarrod was right and all Nick needed was a little time to come to terms with Heath again. He could be patient when he had to but he felt his patience run thin at times that Nick couldn’t be more understanding at what Heath had been going through when he left. But then he think about it and realize that it wasn’t so much that he left but that he tore Nick to pieces with his not knowing what happened to him. So he would be patient a mite longer.

Nick on the other hand was finding it difficult to keep his distance. He would on occasion at meal times find himself missing the bantering that used to go on between him and Heath. He found himself having to bite his tongue more than once before he opened his mouth. It was hard to treat Heath this way. He felt torn. On one hand it felt wrong but on the other he felt that he needed this space. And Silas kept giving him these mournful looks and silently asking him if he had changed his mind about meeting his friend. Nick was trying very hard to ignore that too. He also hated seeing those hopeful looks Audra would fling his way at the beginning of meal change to disappointment at the end. He could also tell Mother was reaching the end of her patience and would like nothing better than to tie them both up to a tree together and leave them alone to sort things out. But it was Heath that made him feel the most guilty. He helped Nick wherever he could but never tried to take any credit for it. He just worked like a dog like he always did and deferred to Nick on everything. He still made suggestions but Nick usually heard about them through the men and not directly from Heath. He never pushed him for anymore than Nick was willing to give. He never went into town if he knew Nick would be there. Everything was just how he wanted it so why did he feel so miserable.

Part 4

About a month later, Nick was at the winery talking to Mario when he saw a large colored man walking up the road towards them. He paused the conversation to size up the man. He had to be one of the largest men Nick had ever seen. Not only was he quite a few inches taller than Nick, he was much broader and had arms about the size of Nick’s thighs. As the man got closer, Nick got a good look at his face and relaxed his stance. The stranger looked harmless despite his size.

When he reached Nick and Mario, he asked, “Hello, I’m looking for Nick Barkley. Heard tell in town that he was looking for some workers for this vineyard.”

“I’m Nick Barkley. What kind of experience do you have?" Nick wasn’t too sure that a man this size would have done much viniculture but he looked like he could do plenty of manual labor.

“Well sir I don’t have much experience with grape vines but my Pa was the head gardener at large plantation called Beau Acres in South Carolina. I grew up working with him, tending and planting flowers, designing flower gardens and such. Since the end of the war, I been doing mostly manual labor for different ranchers along the way but I sure do miss working in the earth. When I heard about the jobs here, I thought it would give me a chance to do what I loved best again. I heard grape vines needed to be tended as carefully as a rose bush” The stranger replied looking hopefully at Nick.

Hey maybe this guy would be alright thought Nick. Mother has been after me to lend her a few hands to make a new flower garden by the patio. This fellow looks like he could do the work of at least two men and then some. Then Mario could start teaching him about viniculture. “Maybe we could use you. What’s your name?" he asked as he looked over at Mario. Mario had been sizing up this big stranger also and he nodded back at Nick discreetly.

“Jerimiah, sir. I would be a hard worker. I really would like this job sir." The man replied eagerly.

Nick smiled and said, “Your timing is just right. My mother wants some new flower gardens put in around the house first of all and then Mario here will teach you all you need to know about grapevines. You are lucky cause he’s one of the best in all of Southern California. What do say Mario? Can you get Jerimiah settled in here and bring him down to the main house first thing in the morning. Oh pays twenty dollars a week with room and board. I’ll let Mario fill you in on the rest of the details. Since we were about finished up here anyways, I’m gonna head back to the house and let Mother in on the plans so she’ll be ready for you in the morning. Knowing her, she’ll be pulling out those seed catalogues of hers as soon as I finish speaking”.

As Nick headed back to the winery to get his horse, he saw Jerimiah and Mario already talking together like old friends. They made an odd couple with Mario who barely came up to Nick’s shoulder and Jerimiah looking twice his size. Nick was pleased with himself. He hoped Mother would be so busy planning her new gardens that she would forget about him for awhile. He bounded into the house and bellowed, “MOTHER, WHERE ARE YOU?”

Victoria winced and then smiled to herself as she listened to the familiar sound of her son which she had not heard for awhile, “If you would just look around the corner, you would see me Nick.”

“Mother, I just hired this fellow, Jerimiah at the winery. Seems that he used to be a gardener at a large plantation before the war and has some experience designing gardens. Thought you might want to use him for the new garden you were talking about putting in by the patio. He’s a real big fellow who looks like he could do a lot of work in one day." Nick told her quickly and explained the arrangements he had made for tomorrow morning.

“Yes, Nick I believe that would work. I didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow that could not be put off and I would like to get started on that garden. Thank you for thinking of it, son. I know it hasn’t been at the top of your priority list with good reason. I’d better get out my seed catalogue and start making lists. Maybe Jarrod could pick some seedlings up for me when he goes to San Francisco later this week.”

Nick smiled as he watched her leave the room in search of her catalogues. He was congratulating himself at killing two birds with one stone. He had someone to learn from Mario and keep his mother occupied at the same time. What could be better? He headed off to the kitchen to grab a snack to hold him off until dinner hoping he would avoid Silas.

The next morning as Victoria looked around the table for Nick, he came bounding in from the kitchen. “Good morning Mother. Mario and Jerimiah are here already. I asked Mario to introduce Jerimiah to the hands and then take him out back so he can have a look around while we finish breakfast." Nick said in a rush as he grabbed a plate to fill up.

“Oh Mother, I bet you can’t wait to get started. You have been talking about this for months." Audra smiled at Victoria.

“Yes, dear. I have been planning this for awhile now. It will be good to finally be able to get started. From what Nick told me yesterday, Jerimiah will be quite useful in the planning stages also. I have my seed catalogues and sketch pad already to go after breakfast." Victoria smiled back at Audra and added, “Would you like to help Audra? “

“I was hoping you would ask Mother. If what I’ve heard about those large plantation gardens is true, then Jerimiah could teach me a lot. “ Audra replied excitedly.

After breakfast was finished, Victoria, Nick and Audra went out back. Victoria came to a stand still as soon as she saw Jerimiah and looked at Nick. “Nick, dear you said he was a large man not the size of a small mountain.”

Nick grinned down at her. “I know Mother. Big is big as far as I’m concerned. You can’t really describe him until you see him anyways. But look at him with your roses. You’d think he was handling a newborn babe. I think you’re gonna be real pleased with him.”

They walked down off the patio to meet up with Mario and Jerimiah at the rose bushes. Mario greeted everyone and said he was going back to his vineyards now and would leave them to it. Nick introduced Jerimiah to his mother and sister and watched them both relax after they had a good look at him. They could see the gentleness in his face that Nick had and knew that despite his size they would have nothing to fear from him. Victoria started telling him her plans for the garden she wanted.

Jerimiah looked hesitant and Nick wondered why. “What’s wrong Jerimiah? Speak up if you don’t agree with Mother’s plans. I know if you have any ideas she would love to hear them. She’ll tell you if she don’t like them.”

“Well Miz Barkley, it does sound like a nice plan but it would really break up that beautiful lawn you have there. I was just thinking that once the grandkids start coming around, you might want to have that space where they can play without worrying none about them destroying the garden." Jerimiah said still looking out at the space beyond the patio.

Victoria look intrigued at the mention of grandkids playing on the lawn and asked what he had in mind instead.

“Can we go back on the patio and I’ll show you what came to mind when I first saw this area?" Jerimiah looked hopefully at Nick.

“Sure why not. Let’s hear what you have in mind." Nick said as he escorted the ladies back up to the patio.

Jerimiah asked them to sit and look out towards the woods behind the lawn. “See that rise up to the woods that you have there? It would be perfect for a tiered garden. It could be a blaze of color cascading down. It would be out of the way but you would still be able to see it from here right fine.”

Victoria took out her sketch pad and asked Jerimiah to sit down and draw it for her. He reached for the pencil and pad and bent his head down to his task. Nick looked on and saw that he wasn’t needed anymore.

“Mother, I’ll leave you in Jerimiah’s capable hands. I’m going to be at the south paddock if you need me otherwise I’ll see you at lunch." Nick said and saw his mother wave him off as she bent her head down to see what Jerimiah was sketching.

As Nick walked into the dining room several hours later, he saw Heath and Audra already seated at the table and his mother just walking in from the kitchen. Silas followed behind her with a large platter of fried chicken.

“Boy howdy Silas that sure smells good. Do I also smell grits and collared greens?" Heath said as he smiled up at Silas.

“Yes sir, Mr. Heath. I invited Jerimiah to join me for lunch and thought I’d make him some Southern favorites cause I knew you’d like em too. And don’t’ worry I made lots of mashed potatoes for you Mr. Nick” Silas replied smiling down at Heath with a discreet wink.

“So Mother, how’d it go with Jerimiah this morning? You’re looking rather pleased with yourself." Nick asked Victoria.

“Nick dear, you found us a true gem there in Jerimiah. His design and suggestions are nothing short of inspirational and I am going to take his advice. My garden will truly be an eye catching show place when we get done." Victoria beamed at Nick.

Audra started talking excitedly “Oh Nick you just wouldn’t believe his ideas. He really knows his flowers and his design ideas, why Mother and I couldn’t find one thing we would want to change ………………..”

Nick listened to Audra and Victoria taking turns describing how the garden would be laid out, where and what plants. Before he could help himself, he turned to Heath and rolled his eyes and smiled. Heath returned a grin in sympathy and enjoyed the shared moment. But it didn’t last long as he saw Nick catch himself and turn his head back down to his food. Oh well thought Heath at least that’s progress.

Victoria’s voice finally intruded on Nick’s consciousness, “Nick did you hear what I said?”

“What Mother? Uh no, I guess I was daydreaming about your garden?" Nick flippantly replied.

“I was asking you if you still had some of that crushed white rock from Barkley Two. And if you knew if it contained limestone. Jerimiah wants to use some decorative rock but said limestone would kill the plants.”

“No Mother, we mixed it up with the sand and used them for sandbagging. I don’t think that rock has any limestone in it but you’d better ask Heath as he would know better than me,” Nick answered and hoped the conversation would turn to Heath now.

“Well, Mother that white rock from Barkley Two does have some limestone in it but not much. There’s nicer looking rock at Barkley Three though and I know that doesn’t have any limestone in it. I’m going up there at the end of next week. How much do you need?" Heath offered.

Victoria looked thoughtful and said,” I’m not sure of the exact amount. Why don’t you come talk to Jerimiah after lunch and see if he can give you an estimate. If you are going to bring back those rocks, you will have to take a wagon instead of riding Charger. Maybe you could take Jerimiah along with you. Nick what do you think? That would give me a chance to get into San Francisco while they are gone and get the plants Jerimiah wants to use from that greenhouse near the wharf." Victoria was remembering another wagon ride with Heath when the wagon fell on him and did not want him going alone.

Nick was thinking the same thoughts as Victoria and thought that Jerimiah could probably lift a wagon all by himself if he had to. “Whatever you want Mother. Just make sure that he gets to spend some time with Mario. I want him for that vineyard when your garden is done you know."

“Mother, can I come to San Francisco with you? I would love to see that greenhouse again and do some shopping. Maybe Jarrod could take us to the opera while we there." Audra asked her mother with pleading eyes.

“I don’t see why not dear. We’ll ask Jarrod at dinner if he has any plans for next week and go from there. Heath are you finished your lunch?" Victoria asked Heath and when he nodded yes said, “Come, I want you to meet Jerimiah. I think the two of you will get along famously.”

And she was right. Not only did Heath and Jerimiah seem to form a fast friendship but Nick was also drawn to the newcomer. As he was spending more time around the stables, he found himself helping Jerimiah with the construction of the garden. Jerimiah seemed to know instinctively that Nick’s bark was worse than his bite and saw the man beneath the bluster. Victoria would wander out to the patio to see the progress on her garden and hear the two of them bickering good naturedly. Although Jerimiah was very easy going, nothing Nick said would change Jerimiah’s mind on the structure and design of this garden. He would pretend to consider Nick’s suggestions then quietly point out the reason why it wouldn’t work and steer Nick back in the right direction. He seemed to know exactly how to handle Nick without Nick knowing he was being handled. Victoria thought she could learn a few pointers from him.

It seemed the next ten days just flew by and before they knew it, Heath and Jerimiah were headed to the Barkley 3 mine and Victoria and Audra left to join Jarrod in San Francisco. It seemed very quiet around the ranch and Nick felt peaceful for the first time in weeks. But the feeling didn’t last very long.

Nick felt arms pulling at him. He couldn’t see their faces. They were blurred beyond recognition. He felt a pain in his side and then his head. He felt himself being hauled over to a tree and his were arms tied. Voices were speaking but he couldn’t understand what they were saying. He kept shaking his head no – he couldn’t understand what they wanted. All of a sudden he felt the whip on his back. He started thrashing around trying to escape but he was held fast.

Nick awoke with a start. It was just a dream. He was covered in sweat and shaking all over. It seemed so real. He sat up and listened to the sounds of the night but he couldn’t hear anything except the pounding of his heart. Nick staggered over to the table and poured himself a glass of water. With trembling hands, he drank thirstily while trying to figure out what the dream meant if anything. It wasn’t something out of his past and he didn’t feel that it had anything to do with either of his brothers so what was it? He knew he couldn't go right back to sleep so he poured himself a whiskey and sat in a chair by the fire. He dozed fitfully in the chair until morning.

Five days later, Victoria and Audra returned to Stockton. Nick met them at the train station with the large carriage as he knew they would be laden down with packages and plants. Victoria’s keen eyes noticed the dark circles under his eyes and asked if everything was alright.

“Yeah, everything’s fine at the ranch. Why?’ Nick replied not looking at his mother.

“Because you look so tired Nick. Are you sure everything’s fine?" Victoria was looking worried now.

“Oh that. Well, I haven’t been getting much sleep the last couple of nights. I must of pulled a muscle in my leg the other day and it has been going into spasms in the middle of the night and waking me up. Don’t worry. I been doing what you made me do when I was a teenager and getting into a hot tub in the middle of the night. It should clear up soon." Nick had been working on that lie for awhile now as he knew his mother would notice if he looked tired. His shaving mirror this morning told him that he looked like hell. He’d hope she’d buy it.

She did as she remembered what agony Nick went through when he was around fourteen nearing fifteen. One day he was her height and two or three weeks later he was almost as tall as Jarrod and his father. He would wake up in the middle of night with the muscles in his legs in total rebellion at the way they were being stretched. He’d be up trying to walk it off throughout the night until she heard him. Victoria would run a hot bath for him and make him soak until the spasms stopped. That was pure Nick though. Everything he did was in such a hurry. Jarrod’s growth seemed so gradual compared to his. She watched him load the carriage and noticed a slight limp and relaxed.

Nick noticed his mother relax and was relieved she believed him. He thought the limp he was affecting was a nice touch. He was glad he thought of it. Now all he had to do was remember to keep doing it and on the same leg. He did not forget that she caught him before when he was faking a leg injury to get out of school. Nick did not underestimate his mother. She had eyes like a hawk.

“Have you heard from Heath since he left?" Victoria asked.

“Just picked up a wire from him before I met your train. Said he’d be back round about two or three days." Nick answered as he jumped into the carriage. “How was your week in San Francisco? Looks like you ladies bought out the stores. Noticed there wasn’t any flowers though.”

Audra laughed as she replied, “Oh Nick there was a whole new shipment from the East with the latest fashions. We just couldn’t resist some of our purchases. Wait till you see us all decked out for the Simpson’s party next weekend. We are going to be the belles of the ball. Mother is having the plants shipped separately. They should arrive day after tomorrow. “

“Well you ladies are always the belles of the ball as far as I’m concerned. There’s not many hereabouts that hold a candle to the Barkley ladies, that for sure.’ Nick gallantly bantered back.

“Nice of you to say Big Brother but I notice you always seem to try to find a pretty girl or two to keep you occupied for the evening." Audra teased him.

Nick grinned at her as he said, “Can’t expect me just to waste my dancing talents, can you? I would hate to deprive the ladies around here of that particular privilege. No, that certainly would be downright sinful to be so stingy.”

Both ladies laughed at his silliness as he hoped they would. He kept up the banter all the way home and knew he had done it. His mother had stopped shooting those concerned looks of hers at him and starting telling him what they had done in San Francisco. She said Jarrod would also be arriving back in Stockton on the same train as the plants so they would only have to make one trip into town.

That night Nick snuck out of the house after everyone was in bed. He was glad they decided to have an early night as they were tired after their trip. He tied his bedroll onto his horse and rode out to the line shack in the North pasture. He figured that if his mother checked on him during the night that the pillows he stuffed under his blankets would fool her. As long as she thought he was sleeping peacefully, he didn’t think she would come right up to his bed. At least he hoped not. Now if the dream woke him up tonight, he didn’t have to worry about his mother finding out. He knew he’d never get to sleep if he had to worry about the dream and his mother at the same time. He would have to try and take some afternoon naps or she would see how worn out he was getting. He couldn’t keep this up much longer. The wire from Heath today made him feel better though. At first he was sure the dream was not about Heath or Jarrod but after a few nights, he found himself losing confidence in that theory. Now that he had heard from Heath and Mother had said Jarrod was fine, he felt his first instinct had been correct. But what was it about? Maybe he should talk to Silas’s friend after all. Maybe she could help Nick interpret what this dream meant. Maybe she could help Nick deal with this ‘gift’ of his. Maybe this dream had nothing to do anything. Whole lotta maybe’s here thought Nick. Let me just get through tonight then I’ll think some more about it.

Meanwhile, Heath and Jerimiah were just settling down on their bedrolls for the night. Jerimiah was looking up at the clear sky full of stars thinking that his life couldn’t be much better than it was right now and then said it out loud.

Heath smiled over at Jerimiah and said, “You sure are having fun digging that garden for Mother. I’ve never seen anyone so happy mucking around in ground like you”

“You know it Mr. Heath. You know it." Jerimiah smiled back at Heath.

“I told you before just make it Heath. Don’t need no Mister in front of it." Heath scolded good naturedly.

“I just feel more comfortable that way. Don’t seem right somehow you being my boss and all."

“The other hands just call Nick and I by our first names. You’re no different than any of them." Heath replied back looking Jerimiah straight on.

“I started my life as a slave and it sure is hard to change the habits of a lifetime. Not many white folk act like you Barkleys you know. Most of them like to be addressed with respect or they get real mad. I sure do get a kick out of Mr. Nick though. Never seen one man have so much energy. Not afraid to get his hands dirty either. He can sure get mad though. I went into town with him once and there was this squaw with her son standing outside the saloon. These cowpokes were ragging on her and Mr. Nick just flew off the wagon and chased them away. I saw him bend down to talk to her and then he dashed into the saloon. You could hear him clear out on the street hollering for her man and telling him to get his carcass outside and take care of his wife and son. Threw the man out of that saloon and then stood and watched to make sure the man did right by his kin. Then calm as can be, he jumps back onto the wagon and acts like nothing had just happened." Jerimiah shook his head bemusedly as looked at Heath.

Heath smiled sadly and said, “Sounds like something Nick would do. Nothing fires him up like women and children being mistreated. And when Nick is fired up, it sure is a sight to behold. I used to wonder why everyone around him would try to give him a head for the hills when he was like that when I always thought it was the best show in town. Used to try to start a show or two myself.”

“Why’d you say used to? Don’t it work no more?”

“Jerimiah you can’t say you haven’t notice Nick and I giving each other a wide berth? He’s kinda ticked at me right now and I can’t says as I blame him so I’m trying to give him some time to get over it. Sure hope he does soon as I sorely miss the brother I used to have." Heath answered as he lowered his eyes to hide his distress.

“Well, I do know he truly cares about you Mister Heath. Why last week when you was breaking those horses, he just stood watching almost holding his breath and when you got throwed, he almost ran across the yard until he saw you was up and about. You can see him tense up when he sees the hands coming in and does not relax until he sees you come back unharmed. He may be ticked at you bout something but you can see the love and concern in eyes everyday." Jerimiah patted Heath’s arm as he finished speaking.

Heath muttered his thanks to Jerimiah and let his words roll over him again. If an outsider could see Nick’s attitude as loving, maybe there was hope after all he could get his brother back. It was almost easier at the beginning when Nick was so hostile. But now he knew how it could be between them, he wanted, no needed Nick’s companionship. Nick was his soulmate and his rock. He decided that he would force a confrontation when he got home. He could feel it in his bones that Nick needed him right now too. He felt more light hearted than he had in months as he drifted off to sleep.

Two days later, they arrived back at the ranch. It was early evening so Heath dropped Jerimiah off at the winery and told him they could unload the wagon in the morning. Heath would just unhitch the horses and leave the wagon in the yard. He couldn’t wait to get home. He wondered if he should just sneak in the kitchen and get something to eat before he went up to get cleaned up. Knowing Silas, there would be something ready for him just in case he made it home tonight. That Silas sure took good care of all of them. Sure enough, there was a plate warming on the stove and Heath tucked into it greedily. He heard voices in parlor and decided to go straight up to bed. He was too tired to do any socializing. He quietly went up the back staircase and was headed to his room when he heard a noise from Nick’s room.

He opened the door and saw Nick thrashing around on his bed, shaking his head and screaming NO, NO, NO. Heath ran over to the bed and tried to shake Nick awake. He made sure he held down Nick’s arms as he didn’t want to get knocked across the room. Nick finally seemed to wake up. He sat up shaking hard and grabbed Heath and said, “Heath, is that you? Are you okay?”

Heath could clearly see the love and concern that Jerimiah spoke about shining from Nick’s eyes. He felt a weight lift off his heart and spoke gently to Nick, “Yeah, Big Brother it’s me. I just got home a little while ago. I’m just fine.”

He felt Nick shaking in his arms and felt the weight back on his heart as he really looked at him. He appeared to be having trouble realizing that he wasn’t dreaming anymore and he was covered in sweat. His eyes had dark circles around them like this was not the first night he had lost sleep. Heath was appalled at the change since he left. He kept his voice as gentle as possible as he tried to probe Nick to find out what was wrong.

“Nick, what was the dream about? As you can see, I am fine. Jarrod’s downstairs with Mother and Audra so they are all fine. What’s troubling you? Can you please let me try to help you?”

Nick looked at Heath and saw his brother worried expression. He also saw his love shining brightly in those blue eyes. He laid his forehead on Heath’s shoulder and shuddered. He realized what a fool he had been trying to push Heath away like that. It was the last thing he should have done. His conscience kept trying to tell him that but he stubbornly kept ignoring it.

“I’ve been a horse’s ass, haven’t I? I’ve been trying so hard to distance myself from you and it’s been like I cut off my right arm. I’m didn’t do nothing but hurt both of us. I’m sor…sor... “

“It’s okay Nick. You don’t have to say it. I know” Heath interrupted seeing the regret in his brother’s eyes and knowing how hard it was for him to say the actual words.

“ I just didn’t know how to handle these things that have been happening to me. I’m sor.. sor... I missed you so damn much and oh hell, I’m sorry Heath." Nick felt relieved that he had actually said the words he was feeling. He looked at his brother with the guilt of his actions reflected in his eyes.

Heath understood the effort it had cost him to be so open and wanted to respond in kind. “Nick, it’s alright. I’ve tried to understand but I reckon I’ve missed you too. I never realized how much I needed my brother until he wasn’t there for me. Guess I started taking you for granted like the rest of the family. So I gotta say I’m sorry too. Won’t happen again that’s for sure." Heath replied at he patted Nick gently on the back. “Looks like you haven’t been getting much sleep lately, Big Brother. Can you tell me what’s bothering you?" he gently probed again.

“What? Oh the dream. I don’t know. I don’t understand it. I don’t remember much after I wake up. I only know that I feel such danger when I do and I don’t know why. I was sure at first that it wasn’t about you or Jarrod then wasn’t so sure about that either. I don’t know. I just don’t know what it’s about. I just feel something terrible is about to happen and I don’t know how to stop it. Just can’t figure it out” Nick looked exhausted and unbelievably fragile to Heath.

“Well Big Brother why don’t we watch each other’s back tonight? I don’t take your dreams lightly. Pulled me out of the fire too many times for that. You just lie back down now you hear and relax. Just let me get off my gun and boots and we’ll look after each other okay?" Heath eased Nick back down and stood up by the bed. He saw Nick give him a weak smile and start to relax. Heath returned his lopsided grin back.

Heath laid down on the other side of the bed with his back to Nick. He felt Nick’s breathing return to normal and eventually slow down as he fell asleep. Heath hoped that Jarrod’s friend would return soon so that they could get Nick the help he needed. He certainly couldn’t go on like this forever. Finally, Heath drifted off to sleep feeling comforted by the feel of his beloved brother’s back on his.

Continued…