To Be or Not To Be, Part 1

by Katlynn

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 1

Jarrod Barkley swung open the French doors to the verandah and breathed in deeply. The storm that had passed through the valley during the night had left behind the sweet smell of Spring. The air was crisp and clear and the clouds that had been black and threatening the day before were now a wispy white. An altogether perfect start to a day that he knew would soon take a turn for the worse.

Through the doors and across the yard he could see his brother, Heath, working with one of the wild horses that had been brought in just the day before. He didn’t doubt that the man he was watching was his brother; he hadn’t really doubted it from that first night. Not once he knew that his mother accepted the truth of it. But he still had a bit of difficulty putting those words together – ‘my brother, Heath’. For 23 years, almost 24 if the Pinkerton report he was waiting for confirmed his calculation, the younger man had been his brother but Jarrod had only known about it for a bit more than four weeks. He hoped their relationship would some day feel as natural as the ones he shared with his brothers, Nick and Eugene. A lot would depend on how long Heath stayed on the Barkley Ranch. He knew there was no guarantee that he’d stay any longer than the seasonal hands they hired each year. Not unless something compelled him to stay. If only Nick would…

He heard the jingle of spurs that told him Nick was about to join him and he took a last deep breath – this one to steel himself for the storm that would shortly brew right there in the house.

“’Morning, Jarrod,” Nick boomed as he entered the room.

“Good morning, Nick,” Jarrod responded quietly, knowing that even by example he wasn’t going to be able to modulate his brother’s voice. What he wouldn’t give for the ability his mother had to do that by simply stating his brother’s name. Of course, mothers had always been able to do things with a few words that mere mortals couldn’t do with a full speech.

“Had breakfast yet, Jarrod?” Nick crossed the room to join him.

“Not yet. I was hoping you’d join me,” Jarrod looked over at him.

“Have Mother and Audra already eaten? Neither was in their room.”

“They went to the Madison ranch last night. Dr. Merar sent word that Lydia was in labor and with Walter out of town she was going to need help with the other five children. They should be back sometime Monday. You got in a bit late last night,” Jarrod observed.

“Got into a poker game in town that went on a bit longer than I expected it to,” Nick said almost resentfully.

“How much did you win?”

“Didn’t,” Nick said simply. Again Jarrod looked over at him; this time Nick didn’t look back. His gaze was fixed – no, his GLARE was fixed on Heath in the corral.

“You were right about him,” Jarrod turned his attention back to the corral. “He does have quite a way with horses.”

“Has quite a way with cards, too,” Nick turned away from the doors.

Jarrod couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “How much did you lose to him?”

Nick favored him with a silent stare for a moment. Then, choosing not to respond to Jarrod’s question, he instead asked, “Are we having breakfast or not?”

“Of course,” Jarrod didn’t even try to hide his amusement. “I’ll see if Heath is going to join us.”

“Oh, Jarrod,” Nick groaned, “why would you want to ruin a perfectly good meal by doin’ that?”

“I’m sorry you feel it would ruin the meal,” the smile was gone, “but we have something to discuss.”

“What?”

“It would be easier if we all discussed it,” Jarrod suggested.

“Why?”

“Because it involves the two of you. And a trip you’re going to take.”

“Where?”

“Nevada. Walker Lake.”

“When?”

Despite Nick’s growing anger, Jarrod began to laugh. “You have the makings of a great reporter, Nick. The only question you’ve left out is ‘who’.”

“You already mentioned who,” Nick wouldn’t be talked out of his bad mood. “And I ain’t one bit happy about it. So when do you want us to take this trip?”

“We really should wait and discuss it with Heath,” Jarrod suggested.

“I don’t want to discuss it with Heath,” Nick said emphatically. “You tell me about it and if I decide that there’s a good reason to go, I’ll discuss it with Heath myself.”

“That’s a discussion I’d like to hear,” Jarrod muttered.

“You’re welcome to join us,” Nick invited, “but you’ll tell me about it first, Pappy, or I don’t want any part of it. When do you want us to take this trip?” he repeated his question.

“Well – you’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow! Jarrod, you know this isn’t a good time for me to be gone from the ranch!”

“And you know that Duke can handle anything that you would handle,” Jarrod reminded him.

“Well – okay – I suppose he can – but you still haven’t told me why,” Nick agreed reluctantly. “Why do you want Heath and me to leave for Walker Lake tomorrow?” he asked with exaggerated patience.

“Do you remember Michael O’Leary?” Jarrod asked him.

Nick frowned as he searched his memory. He knew the name. But – “Oh, yeah – that horse breeder in – yeah,” he nodded, “Walker Lake, Nevada. I thought he was dead.”

“He is,” Jarrod confirmed. “He died a few years ago. His son, Daniel, took over their operation but he’s decided to go back East and he’s going to be selling off their stock. I got a telegram from him yesterday. He said if we were interested in taking a look before he shows them to other breeders, he’d be happy to give us that chance.”

“We HAVE bought some pretty good breeding stock from them in the past,” Nick had to admit.

“And, as long as you’re going to be in Nevada, you can head up to Carson City and Reno to see what George Russell and Jack Franklin might have to offer,” Jarrod added.

“It probably would be worth the trip,” Nick agreed reluctantly, “but why do we both have to go?” He still didn’t think Jarrod had given him a good reason for that.

“Mother and I talked about it before she left last night, Nick. We both think there are some very good reasons that you and Heath should go together.”

“JARROD, WOULD YOU JUST GIVE ME ONE!” Nick demanded.

“How many times have you complained to us that our holdings are too diversified for one man to oversee?” Jarrod asked rhetorically. “We agree with you. Heath’s arrival gives us the perfect opportunity to do something about that. When Heath first came here, you told me you’d never met anyone who knew horses so well,” he reminded Nick.

“That was before he started claiming he was Father’s son,” Nick said illogically.

“Does that make him less good at what he does?” Jarrod chuckled at his brother’s statement.

“It sure as hell makes him less desirable as a partner on a trip that could take a couple weeks,” Nick grumbled.

“Desirable or not, Mother and I think our horse breeding operation is an area that could be Heath’s responsibility.”

“That’s fine. I have no problem with that. If you and Mother are both going to buy into his Heath Barkley story and want to put him in charge of that – fine with me. I’ve been trying to talk you into hiring someone to run that part of things for a couple years now. I don’t doubt that Heath would do a good job of it. I don’t know anyone who works harder and there’s never been a problem with the way he does his job. So, if you want him to be in charge of it, he can have it – BUT WHY DO WE BOTH HAVE TO GO TO NEVADA? HE CAN GO ALONE!” Nick finished on a high note.

“He doesn’t know the people we’ve been dealing with and they don’t know him,” Jarrod pointed out. “We thought about just sending a telegram telling Daniel that Heath would come in your place but we don’t think that adequately expresses that he has our complete support to act on behalf of the family. And as for the others, you’re the one who’s dealt with them in the past so you’re the one who should introduce Heath to them.”

“Jarrod, I’m not introducing that boy as my brother. I don’t care how the rest of the family feels about him. Just because I agree he knows horses and would probably do a good job being in charge of that doesn’t mean I’m sayin’ he’s my brother. No one’s ever gonna convince me that he is!”

“I’m betting that time will convince you of that.”

“You think that two weeks alone with him will change my mind?” Nick asked like it was the most ridiculous notion he’d ever heard from Jarrod. “More likely two weeks alone will have us wantin’ to kill each other. I’ll go to Nevada and I’ll take him with me, but don’t be surprised if only one of us comes back,” Nick warned. “And if that happens,” he added ominously, “it ain’t gonna be him, Pappy.”

“Well, now, when you two have gotten into it, I do believe he’s been able to hold his own. He gives as good as he gets. Don’t underestimate your brother, Nick.”

“I’ve never underestimated you, Jarrod.”

“I wasn’t referring to me,” Jarrod laughed at Nick’s obvious attempt to deny Heath’s heritage. “Nor Eugene,” he headed him off. “Your acceptance of Heath as a Barkley isn’t required for him to actually be one. But no one can force you to introduce him as your brother if you’re determined not to. Still – they’ll probably assume he’s related given his name and he is the best man for this job. And you’re the best one to introduce him to the people you’ve been dealing with. If we put it to a family vote …”

“If we put it to a family vote,” Nick interrupted him, “neither one of us would vote to make this trip together.”

“So you’re acknowledging that he deserves to be included in a family vote?”

“I’m acknowledging that you’d include him in a family vote. And I know that he’d vote the same as me on this one – neither one of us would want to make this trip together.”

“Mother, Audra, Eugene and I would vote that you go,” Jarrod suggested, “and since you already know that, why put it to a vote? Why not just ask him to go?”

“Do you have any idea how much I hate it when you start talking like a lawyer? I sure hope none of my money helped put you through law school,” he muttered disgustedly. “So are we having breakfast together or not?” he turned his back to Jarrod and headed from the room.

“Yeah,” Jarrod agreed. “I’ll be right along.”

Jarrod reached to close the doors, stopping for a moment to again watch Heath in the corral with the stallion. He’d prefer to ask him to join them but would accede to Nick’s wish. Besides, he rationalized Heath had probably eaten a couple hours earlier with Silas. And his absence would give Jarrod and Nick time to further discuss the trip to Nevada. When Jarrod had brought Daniel O’Leary’s telegram home, his mother had been the one to suggest that Nick and Heath make the trip together. She, too, was afraid Heath would soon decide to leave them and Jarrod didn’t doubt that she hoped this added responsibility would give him an incentive to stay. Unfortunately, Jarrod thought the time with Nick could just as easily give Heath an incentive to leave.

There was just no way to read this one, Jarrod shook his head as he closed the doors. Heath would push back when Nick shoved and he’d proven that on more than one occasion. But that was the only time they could easily tell what he was feeling. Nick would yell when he was angry, laugh loudly when he was amused, and even sulk when something didn’t go his way. Heath was just – quiet. He answered questions with as few words as possible and didn’t say much otherwise. But he sure did know about ranching and, in that respect, was the perfect partner for Nick.

Too bad Nick was the only one who didn’t see that.

Chapter 2

By the time Jarrod and Nick finished their breakfast and left the dining room, Jarrod had no doubt that while Nick didn’t agree with them, he understood why they thought it was important for both him and Heath to make the trip to Nevada. He also had no doubt that Nick would take his time about discussing it with Heath. When Jarrod left the ranch to ride into Stockton, Heath was still in the corral and Nick was nowhere to be seen.

Jarrod had a few matters to clear up in his office while he was in Stockton; work that would allow him to spend a bit more time at the ranch while Nick and Heath were gone. But he would also use the trip into town to send a telegram to Daniel O’Leary confirming that Nick would be there by mid-week. And he’d be sending two more telegrams to George Russell and Jack Franklin inquiring about available stock. No need for Nick and Heath to ride up that way if neither man had anything for them to look at.

Nick, meanwhile, had gone looking for Duke McCall, their foreman, to tell him that he and Heath would be going over to Nevada to look at some breeding stock and to discuss what needed to be done on the ranch while they were away. Although he knew that Jarrod planned to spend more time at home until they returned, he had more faith in Duke’s ability to keep things running on the ranch. Duke had been with the family a long time. He’d worked side-by-side with Tom Barkley and knew every inch of the Barkley Ranch as intimately as Tom himself had. He’d seen Jarrod and Nick grow into men and took pride in knowing that he’d had a hand in their upbringing. He’d watched Audra blossom into a young woman, occasionally worrying about her flirtatious nature. Duke had warned more than one ranch hand away from her when their character fell short of the standards he knew Tom Barkley would expect. He’d encouraged Eugene to pursue an interest in medicine that would shortly send him away to school. And he’d watched Heath try to find his place in the family and on the ranch and was probably the one person besides Heath who knew how truly difficult it had been for the young man.

He didn’t doubt that Tom Barkley would have been proud of this son that he never knew. Duke was sure Tom would have despaired at the way Nick denied Heath the one thing he needed most – the brother Heath clearly longed for. Sure Jarrod had accepted him as his brother – but Jarrod wasn’t the one he worked with day in and day out. Jarrod was the one who would probably offer fatherly advice if Heath would allow it and would have the kind of conversation with him that brothers have when they’re just talking about life. And Eugene had accepted him as his brother, too, but would probably never really know him as one. But Nick – if he only realized what he had in Heath! How many times had Duke heard Nick moan about Eugene leaving the ranch to study medicine? It wouldn’t have mattered if it was medicine or the law or whatever – Eugene was never destined to be a rancher. Even as a boy when he took part in ranch activities it was clear that it wasn’t his future. He was destined to leave the ranch. But Heath was so obviously made to be a rancher and he so plainly loved the work that many considered drudgery. Duke couldn’t understand why Nick didn’t see that Heath was the brother and partner Nick longed for as much as Nick was the brother Heath longed for.

Duke watched from the barn as Nick crossed to the corral and leaned on the fence, simply observing as Heath quietly spoke to the stallion he was working with. It was the second stallion Heath had worked with that morning. The other had reared up on his hind legs when Heath first approached the corral and had eventually followed him around like a puppy. The one Heath was working with now had been just as aggressive as the first but Heath had progressed to the point where they were standing only a couple feet apart and the stallion was responding to Heath’s voice by tossing his head. Nick was both impressed and amused to see the horse nudge Heath in the back as he turned away for a moment to look over at Nick.

Having seen Heath glance in his direction, Nick called over to him, “You and I are heading over to Nevada tomorrow to look at some breeding stock. It’s about time we add some new blood to our line. We’ll be leaving right after breakfast. ”

Heath’s attention was back on the horse and Nick wasn’t sure if the way he nodded his head was acknowledgement of what had been said to him or some mysterious communication to the horse. He could hear Heath softly talking but since he couldn’t hear what was being said he had to assume the words were directed to the horse. Figured, Nick thought. That boy had been more comfortable talking to horses than humans from the day he arrived at the ranch.

Heath’s words to the horse were soft for two reasons. First, that’s the way he talked to a horse when gentling it. It seemed to get their attention and, at the same time, reassure them that they weren’t in any danger. And, second, he definitely didn’t want Nick to hear him as he said to a being he knew wouldn’t repeat his words, “Well, that’s just what I need. I was beginnin’ to enjoy things around here. Now I gotta spend time alone with someone who’d prob’ly rather dance with a grizzly. Ya’ don’t s’pose I could persuade him that there are better things to do than spend quality time together, do ya’?”

The horse shook his head from side to side, seeming to offer a response.

“I didn’t think so,” Heath muttered, smiling slightly at what was clearly a coincidence, “but ya’ could at least try to be encouragin’,” he patted the horse’s neck.

From where he stood on the other side of the fence, Nick’s booming voice was in sharp contrast to Heath’s as he continued, “We’re going to Walker Lake to look at some stock that’s being sold off. The son of an old family friend is moving back East and selling all their stock. He’s offered us first look. His father sold us some prime breeding stock a while back and it should be worth the trip to see what his son has to offer. Don’t know if he has the same touch his father had but how much damage could he have done to their bloodline in just the few years since his father passed? And Jarrod is sending telegrams to a couple ranchers up north of there to see if they have anything for us to look at. Carson City and Reno. I figure it’s no more than a two week trip.”

Heath continued talking quietly to the horse, “I’ll never understand why that man thinks he needs to yell everything he says. He ain’t that important. He’ll prob’ly do the same the whole time we’re gone. Ya’ know,” he had a thought, “if ya’ wanna suddenly rear up and throw me into the fence, I prob’ly wouldn’t mind if I’m only injured enough to get outta this trip.” As the horse tossed his head in what could be taken as a nod, Heath joked, “Ya’ don’t have to seem so eager to hurt me.”

“We can talk about it at lunch. Jarrod’ll be back by then,” Nick yelled over to him. “I’m riding out to check on a couple crews. You can start putting together what we’ll need for our trip. We can buy supplies in Nevada so you’ll only need to pack enough for the first part of the trip.”

“Ain’t he never heard of livin’ off the land?” Heath asked the horse. “’Til I came here, I thought plannin’ for a trip was a bedroll, a full canteen, and some hardtack,” he said as he turned his back and walked away from both the horse and Nick. He stopped after about five steps and waited to see if the horse would follow.

Nick, still watching from outside the corral, was tired of getting no direct response from Heath. And after seeing him turn away, he was impatient for at least an acknowledgement from the blond cowboy. He yelled at him, “I’M TALKING TO YOU, BOY! DO YOU HEAR ME?”

Heath finally looked over at him for more than a moment. “Boy howdy, Nick, I reckon anyone within a coupla miles of this corral can hear ya’,” he suggested.

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME?” Nick demanded.

“Well – your mouth was goin’ so fast I was afraid to jump in. Thought I might hurt myself,” he said innocently. “And ya’ know how much I hate doin’ that. Soon as your mother found out she’d send me off to bed and go looking for her liniment. I mighta missed out on this great trip you’re plannin’.”

“It would be just like you to do that,” Nick said disgustedly. “You ARE accident-prone. In only a bit more than four weeks here, we’ve had the doc out at least three times for you.”

“That many times, huh? Good thing I’m accident-prone then,” Heath baited him.

“WHAT!”

“Well, Nick, if I did all them things on purpose it would be plain stupid. Better they’re accidents.”

“Better if they didn’t happen at all,” Nick countered.

“That’s why I was afraid to say anythin’ when ya’ were goin’ so strong,” Heath got back to the original topic. “Hurt myself now and there ain’t no way I could go with ya’. So I figured it was better not to try to get a word in ‘til ya’ stopped.”

“AND…?” Nick prompted him.

“And what?” Heath turned his attention back to the horse that was now only inches away from him.

“AND ARE YOU GOIN’ WITH ME?”

“Didn’t know ya’ were askin’,” Heath said in his soft, almost-Southern accent. “Sounded more like ya’ were tellin’,” he told him as he rubbed the horse’s nose and then headed in Nick’s direction.

“Well, I’m askin’. Are you goin’ with me?”

“Ain’t no reason I can think of not to,” Heath considered it. “Leastways none I want to mention.”

“So you will?” Nick’s voice had softened now that he was sure he had Heath’s attention.

“That’s what I thought I said.”

“NO YOU DIDN’T! YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T THINK OF ANY REASON NOT TO!”

“Meanin’ I’ll go,” Heath told him as he reached to open the corral gate.

Nick wasn’t surprised to see that the horse had followed Heath as he crossed the corral. He might not like this guy who wanted him to believe he was his little brother but he knew horses seemed to like him. So much for horse sense, Nick thought as he pulled the gate open for him. Heath took a moment to turn and face the horse before he left the corral. He let the horse nudge him in the chest as Heath rubbed the bridge of his nose and said a few quiet words to him. The horse snorted, tossed his head, and then trotted away. Only then did Heath join Nick outside the fence, closing and locking the gate as he left.

“I’m gonna need to borrow a horse,” Heath looked at Nick. “My Modoc is nursing a sore leg. Stepped in a hole yesterday. She’ll be okay but she wouldn’t be good on a two-week trip.”

“Take your pick,” Nick offered. “You know the horses as well as anyone. Just be sure it’s one that won’t give you any trouble. I don’t know what we’ll be buying. They could already be broke; might still be wild. And I don’t know if we’ll be bringing them home ourselves, hiring help, or shipping them back so plan that we might be bringing them back ourselves and pick a horse that can handle that if we do.”

“Sure, Nick. Thanks for the reminder,” Heath rolled his eyes. Did Nick really think he wouldn’t have considered that himself?

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, BOY?” Nick demanded.

“It’s s’pose to mean I ain’t a boy and I’m smart enough to have figured that out on my own,” Heath told him. “I’ve been workin’ with horses since before you knew what the word ‘work’ meant. And if it’s all the same to you, I’ll put our packs together after lunch. I’ve got a couple more horses I wanna work with this mornin’.”

“I don’t care if you do it while I’m getting a good night’s sleep as long as everything is ready to go when I’m ready to go,” Nick said dismissively.

“I’ll try not to hold ya’ up,” Heath responded sarcastically to Nick’s back as the dark-haired cowboy walked away.

Duke was still watching from the barn and what he saw and heard just made him turn away shaking his head. He had the feeling that Heath started each day hoping that things with Nick had miraculously changed overnight. Both Nick and Heath could be in a calm or joking mood and then all that could change as soon as they were face-to-face. It was almost as if Nick thought that if he responded to Heath’s joking comments with one of his own it would be the same as accepting the younger man’s story as the truth. While Nick claimed not to believe him, Duke had no doubt he was Tom Barkley’s son.

He wouldn’t go so far as to say he saw the resemblance to Tom’s younger brother, John, before he heard of Heath’s parentage. But once Duke heard about it, he wondered why none of them had seen it. And as strong as that resemblance was, the one to Tom was just as strong. But it wasn’t in physical appearance as much as it was in … the way he walked. The way he laughed. His silent contemplation before action. They mirrored Tom and he wondered why Nick, who’d been so close to his father, didn’t see it. Or if he did, why he wouldn’t admit it. Until Nick had suggested to Duke that he thought Heath might work for the railroad, Duke thought the two men got along rather well and in a very short time Duke had actually thought Heath could be the one Nick would choose to replace him someday as foreman on the Barkley Ranch.

But that was a moot point now. Nick and Heath could make the Barkley Ranch the most respected in the West if Nick would just allow it. But from what Duke had observed this morning, that wasn’t yet likely. And the way Heath was talking last evening as he and Duke curried their horses, it wouldn’t be likely in the future. He knew Heath was thinking about leaving – and he couldn’t really blame him. Of everything the Barkleys had to offer, Heath knew he was unlikely to get what he wanted most. Many young men would be quite happy to be welcomed into a rich and powerful family even if it didn’t meet their expectations of family life. But suddenly having more money than he’d ever imagined, and having a soft bed to sleep in and three square meals a day, didn’t seem to be what Heath was looking for. He’d never had any of those things before he arrived in Stockton and he wouldn’t miss them if he left.

Duke could only shake his head at the thought that Heath wouldn’t be around for very much longer. And if Heath did leave, Duke knew that one day Nick would regret it. But by then it would probably be too late.

Chapter 3

The Barkley brothers had almost finished their lunch and the only thing they’d talked about had been the trip Nick and Heath would be taking to Nevada. After only a minute or two it had been clear to Heath that Nick didn’t want to make the trip with him any more than he wanted to make the trip with Nick. Even before they’d seated themselves around the dining room table, Nick had started in apparently where he’d left off with Jarrod that morning. Neither Heath nor Eugene had realized at first that they were coming into the conversation at the halfway point and had exchanged confused looks when Nick was the last to enter the room and stated, “And another thing – there’s a meeting next week that…”

“Now, Nick,” Jarrod cut him off before he could even finish his thought, “you’re always telling me I should be going to those meetings instead of you so don’t suddenly tell me you want to go to this one. I can represent the Barkley Ranch as well as you can. Probably better since I can usually control my temper. Besides, Nick, you said the most important topic of discussion at the last meeting was whether it would be more profitable to plant corn or beans and peas this year.”

“I was joking, Jarrod,” Nick stated. “My way of saying the meeting was…”

“A waste of your precious time. I know. That’s my point exactly. The only reason you’re talking about going to the meeting now is because you don’t want to go to Nevada. And, like I told you, Mother and I both think it’s a good idea. But if you don’t, we’ll be happy to put it to a family vote,” Jarrod said calmly.

Now that was something Heath hadn’t heard when Nick was telling him of the trip. He’d mentioned that Jarrod would be sending the telegrams but from that Heath had inferred that he was doing it as a favor so Nick wouldn’t have to ride into Stockton to do it himself. Of course, Nick hadn’t said that, but Heath had made the assumption. Now that he knew that Jarrod and Mrs. Barkley were behind the trip it made more sense. Nick wouldn’t have asked him to go with him on a two-week trip. He wouldn’t have TOLD him he was going, either, without someone applying pressure. He flat out didn’t want him to go. But Jarrod and Mrs. Barkley did. Wondering why kept his mind busy through most of lunch and he had to admit later that he hadn’t heard much of what Jarrod and Nick discussed. It wasn’t until he heard them talking about the best route to take into Nevada that he started paying attention again.

“That really wouldn’t be a good idea,” Heath spoke up when he heard Nick mention Ebbett’s Pass.

“What’d you say, boy?” Nick turned to him.

Heath glared at him silently for a moment before saying calmly, “I said Ebbett’s Pass wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“Why is that, Heath?” Jarrod asked before Nick could confront him.

“It snowed up there ‘bout a week or so ago. I heard some old trapper talkin’ about it in town yesterday. Ebbett’s Pass is too high to expect it to have melted off already,” Heath explained.

“Terrific,” Nick muttered. “Now, not only is he the resident expert on horses, he’s also the resident expert on Ebbett’s Pass. So how high IS Ebbett’s Pass?”

“Never actually took a measurin’ stick up there, Nick. But I know that when it takes longer to get over the top, it’s prob’ly ‘cause the top is higher there than it is somewhere else.”

“You could take Echo Summit,” Jarrod suggested. “It was good enough for the Pony Express and one of the lowest passes you’ll find.”

“We’d have to travel up north to get to it then back south to Walker Lake,” Nick complained.

“There’s another way through,” Heath directed the statement at Jarrod. “It’s south of Ebbett’s. Don’t know its official name but I’ve heard it called Devil’s Pass. ‘Bout as low as you can go over the mountains.” He couldn’t help a very slight smile as he suggested, “Maybe that’s why the locals call it Devil’s Pass – ya’ can’t get any lower. Leastways not over the mountains.”

“And how do we know this Devil’s Pass actually exists?” Nick wasn’t convinced that it was there.

“Nick, I grew up watching the sunrise over the Sierra Nevada. I was crossin’ it on my own by the time I was twelve and I’ve taken horses through Devil’s Pass. Even when there’s snow at higher elevations, Devil’s Pass is clear. It’s not that much further south; still pretty much a direct route from here to Walker Lake.”

“Then it’s settled,” Jarrod decided. “You can take Devil’s Pass. And depending on the answers from George Russell and Jack Franklin, if you have to you can use Echo Summit or Donner Pass coming home. Either one should be clear.”

“George Russell in Carson City?” Heath looked over at Jarrod.

“You know him?”

“Worked for him.”

“WHEN!” Nick exploded. “YOU NEVER MENTIONED WORKING FOR HIM!”

“I ain’t exactly told ya’ my whole life story, Nick,” Heath told him. “I worked for him ‘bout a year ago.”

“Which means … he let you go before all the real work was done for the year?” Nick asked suspiciously. “Why’d he let you go?”

“He didn’t,” Heath said tensely. “I left because Mama was sick and I wanted to be closer to home. Carson City was too far from Strawberry with the mountains in between. George told me I could have my job back any time I wanted it. Might not be a bad time to take him up on that,” he suggested.

“It could be a right good time for that,” Nick agreed, looking Heath directly in the eyes.

“That would make it a bit hard for Heath to work with Barkley horses,” Jarrod pointed out. “Mother and I,” he looked at Heath, “were thinking you should probably get more involved in that part of the ranch. You’re clearly the best man for the job.”

“I’ll give that some thought while we’re gone,” Heath was noncommittal. “Got a lot of things to think on.”

None of his brothers immediately said anything in response. Nick was hoping he was implying that he might be leaving Stockton; Jarrod was hoping exactly the opposite. He was hoping Heath planned to settle in for a long stay at the Barkley Ranch. And Eugene just wondered what was being implied that wasn’t being said.

“So…” Jarrod got Heath’s attention, “what kind of stock did George have when you were working for him? Would it be worth the trip?”

“He’s got some real fine bloodlines. They’d mix well with what ya’ got here,” Heath told him. “He bought some stock from back East about four or five years ago. Kentucky, I think. He’s produced some promisin’ foals from breedin’ the stallions he bought to his mares. I ain’t too impressed with what he’s gotten from the opposite breedin’ – they seem a bit on the small side. But if we could pick up some of the right stock they’d be somethin’ to build a future on.”

“That’s what you need to be thinking about,” Jarrod suggested. “What you want to do with the Barkley stock in the long run.”

“I’m sure Nick has got plenty of ideas of what he wants to do in the long run,” Heath pushed back his chair. “Got some work to do. ‘Scuse me.”

He left without another word and only after he was gone did Eugene speak up. “He doesn’t sound like he plans to be here too much longer.”

“Fine with me,” Nick said firmly. “This is the Barkley Ranch. It’s supposed to be run by the Barkley brothers. Not Nick Barkley and some saddle tramp who rode in one day claiming to be Father’s son. The only reason you want to believe him, Eugene, is because you’re going off to college and you want someone here to do the job you should be doing! You WANT to believe he’s a Barkley brother so YOU don’t have to be one! Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” he, too, pushed back his chair and stood up. “Even if he does leave – we’ll manage to get things done without him AND you. I’ve got work to do, too,” he put a stop to any further attempt at conversation by following Heath’s example and leaving the dining room.

“Jarrod, how long is it going to take Nick to figure out that Heath is good for the Barkley Ranch?” Eugene asked his oldest brother. “I really think he expects me to suddenly realize that I have no interest in medicine and have always wanted to be a rancher. That’s not going to happen, Jarrod. I’ve never really wanted to be a rancher.”

“I know that, Gene,” Jarrod acknowledged. “And I’m sure Nick does, too. It’s just that – Nick loves this ranch – he loves the land – and he loves the work. He can’t understand why we aren’t as passionate about that as he is. I think he’s still trying to accept that I didn’t want to be a rancher,” he laughed very slightly. “It’s just going to take him a while to accept that you don’t either.”

“It’s going to come too late, Jarrod. I’m not going to pretend to have figured Heath out in the short time he’s been here, but I got the definite impression that he’s not exactly sure he’s staying. Nick can’t keep running this place on his own; it’s too much responsibility for one man,” Eugene’s concern was obvious.

“Gene, he knows that. He’s talked about hiring men who could take over the horse breeding, oversee our mining operations and…”

“Heath could do both of those,” Eugene interrupted him.

“I know,” Jarrod agreed. “He also knows about logging and could run that part of the business as well. Mother and I are hoping if we can at least get Heath started with the horses we’ll keep him around here long enough for Nick to come to his senses.”

“Heath’s already working with the horses but he’s doing it on Nick’s terms. I saw him gentle breaking one of the horses this morning but you know that Nick is going to leave orders for Duke to have some of the hands break the rest of them while they’re gone. Jarrod the closest I’d ever gotten to riding a wild horse was a year after it was caught – and he still had a tendency to act up on me. Then yesterday I rode a horse that Heath gentle broke the first week he was here and although he wanted to take the lead on me every now and then, I didn’t really have any trouble with him. Think about what that could do for our Army contracts,” Eugene said. “I know enough about it to know that their biggest complaint is having to work with the horses even after we break them. If we could sell the Army horses that were ready to ride – with a single sale we’d have guaranteed contracts for years to come!”

“I’m not the one who needs convincing, Gene. Mother saw it before I did. She’s been watching Heath work with the horses. She’s the one who first suggested putting him in charge of that. And this morning Nick agreed that it was a good idea. I just don’t think he understands that his attitude towards Heath could chase him off before that might happen. I’m hoping things will change in the next two weeks. I’m hoping they’ll come back on friendlier terms.”

Eugene started laughing as he got up from the table. “Jarrod, you always were a dreamer. That’s what I like most about you. You dream big. You just keep dreaming, big brother; that’s one of the things you do best.”

Jarrod could still hear his youngest brother laughing as Eugene disappeared from his sight.

* * * * *

The Next Morning…

When Nick had said they’d leave after breakfast, Heath hadn’t expected to still be waiting an hour after the sun had come up. Breakfast for him had been around 5 a.m. and he had everything ready to go a half hour later. With Audra and Mrs. Barkley still at the Madison ranch, he hadn’t expected Nick to wait and have breakfast with his brothers. Clearly Jarrod hadn’t expected that either; his impatience with the way Nick was approaching this trip was obvious when Heath joined them and Eugene for a second breakfast.

“As much as I enjoy family gatherings,” Jarrod was saying when Heath walked in, “I hadn’t thought we’d have the pleasure this morning. I expected you to be long gone by now.”

“Nothing like a good breakfast to get the day started right,” Nick said through a mouthful of ham.

“Or two good breakfasts,” Heath didn’t quite hide the slight smile that graced his face. “I’ll prob’ly be so full I won’t even wanna stop for lunch today.”

“I’m sure I will,” Nick stated emphatically.

“I’ll ride slow; you can catch up.”

“If Nick puts any more on his plate,” Eugene observed as Nick reached for another helping, “you won’t have to worry about stopping for lunch because he’ll still be sitting here eating.”

* * * * *

They DID eventually get underway, Nick choosing to lead the way and leaving Buster, their packhorse, in Heath’s care. Heath decided not to let it bother him when Nick opened up a lead of about a hundred feet on him – Nick was just being Nick and letting him know who was in charge. Since Heath already knew who was in charge, he figured there was no need to get upset about it and enjoyed what he considered time by himself. Every now and then Nick would slow up and ask Heath about the route they were taking but mostly he maintained the distance and Heath even found himself thinking charitable thoughts about Nick’s silence. After all, he’d been afraid he’d have to listen to Nick’s booming voice all the way to Nevada. He much preferred the quiet. His mind was able to wander anywhere it wanted and for a time it was down in Mexico. In a little town just south of the border where…

“Are you gonna ride right by!” Nick’s voice rudely intruded on thoughts that had Heath turning away from him to survey their surroundings and hide a sudden blush that crept from his neck to his face.

What a time for Nick to decide to talk to him, he thought as he stared off into the distance. Nick had probably never blushed in all his life. Heath figured that if he could have just one wish, he’d use it to wish that he wouldn’t blush either. It surely must come from being raised by three women. As a boy he was convinced that they always knew exactly what he was thinking and he’d hated the blush that betrayed him. He’d once confessed his thoughts to Mr. Flynn, who owned the livery where he worked, and Mr. Flynn had told him they were natural thoughts for a boy his age to have. But still, they weren’t the sort of thoughts he could discuss with any of the three women. And, to her dying day, he figured Mama probably thought he’d never even…

“What?” he looked around at Nick, who’d dismounted from Coco and was staring at him with his hands on his hips.

“I asked if you were planning to eat lunch sitting on Magic’s back,” Nick stated emphatically.

“Actually, I figured to ride real slow and let you catch up,” Heath reminded him with a slight smile.

“I’ve heard that one before,” Nick said sarcastically. “It wasn’t funny the first time either. And you ain’t riding on ahead. The horses need a rest.”

“Yeah, I know,” Heath swung his right leg over Magic’s back. “I ain’t quite as dumb as I look.”

“From where I was standing you just looked lost.”

“No not lost, Nick,” the smile wouldn’t fade. “Just a couple years in the past. I was just thinkin’ about some time I spent down in Nogales.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Nick nodded his head. “You’re the great traveler. Well, there’s no one here for you to impress with your stories, boy,” he leaned closer and stared him in the eyes.

“Believe me, Nick, I wasn’t, at all, thinkin’ about impressin’ ya’,” Heath laughed as he walked over and yanked at one of the ties on Buster’s pack to get at their lunch.

“At least you’ve got some sense in you,” Nick positioned himself on the other side of Buster, and looked over the horse at him. “I don’t impress as easily as Jarrod and Eugene. They actually believe the things you tell them.”

“And what have I told ‘em that ya’ don’t believe?” Heath asked evenly.

“Aside from the obvious?” Nick laughed. “How about telling me how old you were the first time you crossed the Sierra Nevada.”

“Well --,” Heath thought about it, “I reckon I was about nine.”

“That story gets better every time you tell it. Yesterday you said you were twelve,” Nick pointed out.

“If ya’ want the same story – ya’ gotta ask the right question, Nick. I was nine the first time I crossed it. I was twelve the first time I did it alone,” he explained.

“And your mother just let you do it?” Nick certainly sounded skeptical.

“I guess she figured it was better than goin’ in the mine,” Heath just shrugged, as he sat down on a rock and unwrapped a sandwich that he’d pulled from Buster’s pack.

“You played in the mine!” Nick ducked under Buster’s neck to get to the sandwiches himself.

“Yeah, Nick,” Heath laughed. “I played in the mine. We had a great little game goin’. We’d light the fuse on a stick of dynamite and see if we could get out before it blew.”

Nick turned and looked at him silently, not at all sure if Heath was joking or not.

“I was a fuse boy, Nick,” he explained. “From the time I was six years old.”

“You WORKED in the mine!”

“And I was damn good at it!” Heath stated. “I was a tiny little thing. I could get in and outta places none of the others could come close to. Ya’ wanna know what the proudest day of my life was?”

The questioning look on Nick’s face said he did.

“I started workin’ in the mine the day after my sixth birthday. At the end of that week, I brought two nickels home and gave ‘em to Mama. That was the proudest day of my life ‘cause I knew I was helpin’ her put food on the table,” Heath told him.

“You got ten cents for riskin’ your life?” Nick asked incredulously.

“Nick, ya’ ain’t got no idea how much ten cents could buy in a town like Strawberry back then.”

“How long did you work in the mine?” Nick sat down facing him, leaning back against a fallen tree trunk.

“Worked there pretty steady ‘til I was eight. Then I got a job at the livery – and I worked for my uncle some. I didn’t have to work at the mine as much after that. I was twelve when I was able to stop workin’ the mine completely. There was a local rancher – Mr. Pierce – who started givin’ me work. That’s why I was takin’ horses through Devil’s Pass.”

“For Mr. Pierce?”

“I don’t think he would’ve thought of it on his own,” Heath shook his head. “But he asked Mr. Flynn – the man who owned the livery – if he knew someone who could deliver a horse to a ranch over in Nevada. I’d been through the mountains a few times with Mr. Flynn doin’ the same thing so he told him to ask me. It didn’t take much to convince Mama when he said he’d pay me 50 cents a day. It took two days to get there and two days to get back and he gave me an extra dollar,” he remembered, smiling. “I felt almighty rich with that three dollars in my pocket,” he laughed. “Mama said I should keep the extra dollar – but I wouldn’ta known what to do with it anyway. Most I’d ever spent at one time was two cents on some peppermint I’d given Mama for her birthday one year. I worked pretty regular for Mr. Pierce and Mr. Flynn ‘til I left home.”

In the quiet that followed, Nick studied him through narrowed eyes, reminding himself that he’d vowed not to believe the stories this man told him. He’d sworn he was going to avoid anything that resembled a friendly conversation on this trip – and here he’d given in the first time they stopped to eat! Oh, Heath was diabolical, making up a story like that – and telling it like it was real. He’d almost believed him for a minute or two. Why, it came close to bringing a tear to his eye. Good thing he remembered in time not to be suckered in!

“I think we need to get moving,” Nick stood up and stuffed the last of his sandwich in his mouth.

Heath didn’t move immediately. He watched as Nick retied the line on Buster’s pack and then checked the other side to be sure everything was tied down there. Nick was, again, just being Nick. Letting him know who was in charge. He finally stood up, figuring he’d sat there long enough to let Nick know he wasn’t completely in charge. And then, for good measure, he made sure Nick was already riding out on Coco before he swung up into Magic’s saddle and reached over to untie Buster’s lead line. He hooked it over his saddle horn and followed Nick from the clearing.

As they continued what was again a silent ride, the distance between them was just as great as it had been that morning. During the couple short stops they made after lunch, Nick stubbornly maintained his silence. And each time they continued on, he immediately put that distance between them again. There were times that Heath actually lost sight of Nick as he’d disappear around a rock outcropping or a stand of trees. He watched Nick disappear yet again, and Heath smiled to himself as he wondered what Nick might do if Heath chose to take a slightly different route and didn’t follow him around those rocks. But … it was getting late in the day and he figured they’d be stopping soon so there was no point in antagonizing Nick when they didn’t have a couple hours for him to ride off his anger.

Good thing he hadn’t chosen that slightly different route because Nick was waiting as Heath rounded the rocks.

“We should probably think about stopping soon. Since you’re more familiar with this area I thought you might know of a good place to bed down for the night,” Nick said in a tone that suggested he didn’t really want to ask for Heath’s advice but was probably doing it because Jarrod had reminded him that they were traveling as partners and there were advantages to having Heath as his partner on this trip – one of those being his knowledge of the country they’d be traveling through. Heath had heard Jarrod’s reminder to Nick just before they’d mounted up to leave the ranch but he was still surprised to hear Nick’s question.

Heath turned in his saddle and looked towards the west. “You know that rain has been chasin’ us all afternoon. I figure it’s no more than a couple hours behind us.”

“Yeah, a hotel would be nice,” Nick joked sarcastically, “but I don’t see any within easy ridin’ distance.”

“Maybe not a hotel,” Heath agreed, “but we’re only about three miles from Strawberry. Either Hannah or Aunt Rachel would welcome us to stay with them tonight.”

Nick’s eyes turned dark as he exploded, “HELL WILL FREEZE OVER BEFORE I’LL SPEND THE NIGHT IN STRAWBERRY!”

Heath’s anger – an anger that he’d mostly managed to keep in check for weeks – boiled over instantly at Nick’s words. “So it was good enough for Tom Barkley but not for you?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his question. “Fine! Stay here! Maybe your Barkley pride’ll keep you dry! But I’m goin’ into Strawberry. That’s a mother of a storm comin’ up behind us and I don’t plan to sleep out in it. And there’s no reason the horses should have to spend the night out in the rain just because you’re afraid of the ghosts that haunt Strawberry. Take what you want from Buster’s pack then find yourself an overhanging rock and slide in under it ‘cause there ain’t much else out here to offer ya’ shelter. Don’t bother stakin’ a lean-to ‘cause it’ll just blow away.”

“I’m not afraid of anything in Strawberry,” Nick said loudly. “There’s just no need to go three miles out of our way because of a little rain.”

“Oh, I get it – hell would freeze over no matter what town the roof was in that was keepin’ ya’ dry – if that town was three miles off the trail?” Heath asked rhetorically. “Well, I’m still ridin’ into Strawberry and I’m still takin’ Magic and Buster with me. And if you were any kinda man you’d let me take Coco, too, so he could spend the night in a dry stable.”

Nick silently dismounted and approached Buster. In the distance they heard the roll of thunder and even as he reached up to untie the pack, a streak of lightning in the far west made him pause. No … he wasn’t going to give in. He WASN’T going to go into Strawberry. He WASN’T going to give Heath the satisfaction of seeing him give in to the temptation to stay warm and dry even when he knew the boy was right about that storm. No way – no how. He WASN’T going into Strawberry.

Two more lightning bolts found their way to earth and it was probably just his imagination that they looked and the thunder sounded a whole lot closer than they had just a few seconds before. “You know,” he said without looking over at Heath, “if that lightning gets any closer before you get to Strawberry, you’re not going to be able to handle all three horses. I’ll go with you – but only as far as the livery. I’ll spend the night there with the horses. You can visit with your family.” Then he looked at him and accused, “And I wouldn’t be one bit surprised to find that you planned to spend the night in Strawberry all along.”

“Nick, if we’d left the ranch when I expected us to, we’d be two hours beyond Strawberry by now,” Heath pointed out. “So…” he considered it, “…I s’pose I should be thankin’ ya’ for holdin’ us up this mornin’ so I’d have this chance to visit. It’s right brotherly of ya’.”

He nudged Magic with his heels and headed for Strawberry before Nick could respond. If Heath hadn’t moved out, Nick’s response probably would have been to pull him off the horse and show him exactly how brotherly he could be. And he’d have taken great pleasure in it, too! He didn’t get back on Coco until he’d given Heath’s back a good long stare as he rode away.

It sounded like a threat as Nick mounted up to follow, muttering to himself, “He’d better not be smilin’ when I catch up to him.”

Chapter 4

As they rode into Strawberry, Nick couldn’t help the sneer in his voice as he asked, “This is it?”

“It ain’t much to see anymore. Not since the mine closed and everyone left. The hotel and livery are the only things still open,” Heath was determined not to react to his demeaning tone. “The hotel is run by my Uncle Matt. If you’re lucky you won’t run into him. And Mr. Flynn still runs the livery but I don’t think he’ll be there. He’ll prob’ly stop by in the mornin’. Usually does.”

“And where do I find the livery?” Nick wanted to know.

“I’ll show you where it is after I see if Aunt Rachel is home,” Heath told him. “That’s her house right there,” he pointed out the only house in the immediate area that gave the appearance of being maintained.

He dismounted and walked Magic and Buster towards the house. There was a railing in front of the porch on either side of the door and he tied a horse to each side. As he stepped up onto the porch he called out, “Aunt Rachel?” before he knocked on the door. In a town with few people, he knew it could be dangerous to knock without letting the inhabitants of the house know who was there.

It was a matter of seconds only before the door was pulled open and a woman cried out, “Heath!” and threw her arms around him. Nick was surprised to see Heath respond with a hug of his own as he lifted the tiny woman off her feet and twirled her around. It hadn’t occurred to Nick that the boy was capable of positive emotion.

“Oh, put me down!” Rachel laughed but still had time to plant a kiss on his cheek before he did as ordered. She stepped back and studied him for a moment. “Just look at you! Life must be treating you well,” she smiled as she held his hands.

“That’s … a matter of opinion,” Heath said softly. He turned to see what had become of Nick. He was still on Coco but had ridden closer, probably as close as he intended to get. “Aunt Rachel – this is Nick Barkley,” Heath decided an introduction was appropriate, mostly so Rachel wouldn’t say anything about the Barkleys in front of him.

“Mr. Barkley,” she smiled in his direction. “Welcome to Strawberry – such as it is.”

“Ma’am,” Nick tipped his hat and Heath realized Nick probably didn’t even know her name. Well, except ‘Rachel’. And he certainly wouldn’t call her that.

So Heath completed the introduction by saying, “Nick – Rachel Caulfield.”

“Mrs. Caulfield,” he just nodded this time.

“You’ll join us for supper, Mr. Barkley?” Rachel asked him.

“Well, I don’t…”

“Nick,” Heath interrupted him, “I was thinkin’ – Silas packed that fried chicken for us – sure would taste better hot. If Aunt Rachel hasn’t planned anythin’ for supper yet,” he looked at her, “maybe she wouldn’t mind joinin’ us. And loanin’ us her oven,” the last part sounded like a question.

“Loan you my oven!” Rachel laughed. “When have you ever cooked anything in an oven?”

“Aunt Rachel, it’s already cooked. Just needs heatin’,” he said as though it was that simple.

“I’ll let you take care of chopping the wood to fire up the oven and I’ll see to the heating. I wouldn’t trust you even to do that much,” Rachel swiped at him playfully.

“I’ll leave that to the two of you,” Nick said, still sitting on Coco. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your visit.”

“Now that is nonsense. Of course you’ll join us,” Rachel said in a way that didn’t invite argument.

Still, Nick tried. “I really need to get the horses settled at the livery. And I…”

“Well, of course you do,” Rachel agreed. “But you’ll certainly have time to do that before supper is ready.” She turned to Heath and suggested, “You should ask Hannah to join us. From the look of your packhorse, I have to assume you’ll be off in the morning – and if that’s so, Hannah would never forgive me if I tell her you were here and she didn’t have the chance to visit with you.”

“I’ll stop at her house when I show Nick to the livery. You have enough wood to start the fire?”

“I have enough wood to start it and keep it going. But I wouldn’t mind if you want to replenish the pile before you leave,” she conceded.

“I’ll do that after supper,” he agreed, stepping down from the porch to find the food Silas had packed for that night’s meal. Heath had put the pack on the horse, so it was just a matter of tugging at a single tie and reaching in to pull out the bundle with chicken, potato salad and biscuits. Silas had certainly packed more than enough for two hungry cowboys and easily enough to feed two tiny women besides. Heath couldn’t help thinking, again, as he handed the bundle to Rachel that the Barkleys surely did go overboard when planning for a trip. And he couldn’t help thinking that, on this occasion, he was grateful that they did. As often as Rachel and Hannah had put food in front of him – and Mama – it was nice to be able to return the favor.

* * * * *

Nick didn’t say a word as they rode to the livery. He just knew Heath had planned the whole thing right down to supper and that he probably took some kind of perverse pleasure in dragging him into Strawberry. This was where all the lies had started. He probably thought that, somehow, Nick’s presence would legitimate the lies. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. It was inconceivable to him that four rational people – well, three rational people and Audra, he reconsidered that with a bit of a smile – could just simply believe Heath without any positive proof. And Jarrod always said Nick was the one to jump to conclusions. Well, if a newspaper clipping about a man’s death was proof of parentage – then Nick figured he could make a fortune claiming to be the son of Abraham Lincoln.

As they led the horses into the livery, Nick looked around and, finding that they were alone, grabbed Heath by the arm, shoved him against the wall, and demanded, “WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE, BOY?”

“There ain’t nothin’ I gotta prove to you, Nick!” Heath shoved back, pushing him away.

“YOU KNEW DAMN WELL SHE WAS GONNA INVITE ME TO SUPPER!” Nick accused.

“You too good to sit at her table?” Heath challenged him.

“That’s not what I meant! I told you I didn’t want to come into Strawberry and then I told you I’d stay in the livery while you visited with your family! I’m trying to be reasonable as a favor to Jarrod but you KNEW she’d invite me to supper! Are you trying to prove you can get me to do something I said I wasn’t gonna do?”

“Oh, if there’s one thing I know about you, Nick Barkley, it’s that no one can get you to do somethin’ you really don’t wanna do,” Heath said angrily.

“Then why the hell do you keep trying?”

“I’m beginnin’ to wonder the same thing,” Heath breathed out. “Look, Nick, if you don’t wanna join us for supper, I’ll tell Aunt Rachel that you’re declinin’ her invitation. But don’t start puttin’ all sorts of twists on it. You’re the one who held us up more than two hours this mornin’,” Heath reminded him again. “We woulda been well beyond Strawberry when we stopped for the day if we’d left on time. But we ain’t two hours further along, are we? And, long as we’re in the neighborhood, I don’t see nothin’ wrong with takin’ advantage of shelter that’s just a short ride away. As for supper – I guess it was my mistake to think you might appreciate a hot meal. Don’t blame Aunt Rachel for invitin’ ya’. She was just doin’ what a fine Southern woman would do when two travelers come by at suppertime. And I knew she would do it, so that was my mistake. But I ain’t gonna apologize to you for the roof you’ll be sleepin’ under or for the offer of a hot meal because neither would have been within reach IF WE’D LEFT THE RANCH WHEN WE SHOULDA LEFT THE RANCH! YOU HAVIN’ SUPPER WITH US OR NOT?” he finished at a yell, his words in danger of tripping over each other.

In the sudden silence between them, they heard the roll of thunder that followed a flash of lightning. Nick looked at him silently for several seconds before he turned away and said, “I’ll take care of Magic for you. You’d better see to Hannah before the rain hits. I’ll be along when I’ve seen to all three of the horses.”

It was a moment before Heath realized that Nick was telling him he’d be there for supper. He took his saddlebag and rifle and said simply, “Thanks.”

As Heath left the livery stable he took with him the hope that for tonight, at least, they could call a truce. For Aunt Rachel and Hannah he hoped they could be civil to each other for just one night.

* * * * *

The house he’d grown up in – the house Hannah now lived in – was not far from the livery stable, down one of Strawberry’s side streets. He could see a light inside as he approached and, as he’d done at Rachel’s house, he called out to Hannah before he walked up to the front door and knocked.

“Heath!” he heard before she opened the door. “Oh, my Heath! I musta knowed you was comin’! I baked you an apple pie!” she gave him the sort of greeting Rachel had and he responded as he had to Rachel.

“Well, you’re gonna have to wrap up that pie and come have supper with us,” Heath told her when he’d leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. “And we don’t have much time to waste. There’s rain comin’ in. You’d best bring what you’ll need for the night ‘cause I ain’t lettin’ you walk back home in a storm.”

They went into the tiny house and as Hannah bustled around seemingly haphazardly, Heath surveyed the room. They’d made some changes for Hannah after Mama died but he saw the room as it was when he was a boy … when Mama would come home after a hard day’s work … and he’d come home after an equally hard day … and despite the fatigue and the aches and pains the house would be filled with laughter as they enjoyed the time together. Regardless of what they had or didn’t have … regardless of the physical and mental abuse they both suffered at the hands of Uncle Matt and the verbal abuse from countless others … regardless of the tears they both cried when they were alone … they laughed when they were together. It was strange, Heath thought, how he could remember the bad times … and there certainly were many of those … but still think of this house as a happy home.

“Heath … Heath!” he only heard Hannah when she reached out to touch his arm. “What you doin’ here in Strawberry?” she stepped close enough to see his eyes clearly, her eyesight fading with age.

He smiled down at her. He heard more than a simple question. She knew he’d gone to Stockton to find his father’s family and he knew she was really asking why he WASN’T in Stockton. “Just passin’ through, Hannah. I’m on my way to Nevada to look at some horses the Barkleys are interested in.”

“I knowed they would take a shine to you,” she patted his chest affectionately. “We best go now b‘fore that rain comes.”

She picked up the covered pie and Heath reached out to take it from her. “I’ll carry that.”

“It be safer in my hands. It get to Rachel’s table in one piece that way,” Hannah teased as she held it out of his reach. “But you be a good boy and take Hannah’s bag,” she instructed, already headed for the door.

It was a small straw bag that she’d probably put her nightclothes in but Heath wasn’t about to ask. She’d scold him something fierce for even mentioning nightclothes so he just assumed she’d done as he suggested and packed what she’d need to spend the night. He picked it up, extinguished the two small lights in the room, and followed her from the house. He wondered if he should stop at the livery to see if Nick wanted his help but on reflection he decided that they’d probably just start arguing. And he’d already decided that he didn’t want to take that into Rachel’s house.

* * * * *

Rachel was already well into her supper preparations when Heath and Hannah got to her house. With the rain still holding off and the ladies chasing him out of the kitchen, he decided chopping wood would serve a dual purpose. It would replenish Rachel’s supply as he’d promised. And it would also work off the anger that was still simmering from his argument with Nick. He expected Rachel would have a pretty good-sized pile of wood when he was done.

He pulled the ax from the chopping block with an angry jerk and set the first piece of wood in its place. He lifted the ax then, with a single well-placed stroke, split the wood in two. He split four or five pieces of wood the same way before his anger diminished to the point that it took the usual two or three strokes to break one apart. Rachel had stepped out onto the porch and listened to the sound of the ax followed by wood tumbling to the ground. She’d known from Heath’s first words to her when he’d arrived at her door that something was wrong but she hadn’t quite been able to put her finger on it. From the sound of the ax she figured he was mad about something and experience made her wait until the sounds told her the anger was abating.

She knew that he sensed her presence and she also knew that once he realized she was there, he was taking his time to avoid talking to her. But, she chuckled to herself, there was only so much wood he could chop and she could wait him out. He finally took a last swing that embedded the ax in the chopping block and glanced over at her silently. She took that as his acknowledgement that he was ready to listen to her questions and she stepped off the porch to join him in stacking the wood.

“Are you happy in Stockton?” she asked softly.

“Don’t reckon I can say yes or no to that one. I WAS happy,” he conceded.

“What changed it for you?”

He didn’t really answer her directly. Instead he said, “I know I was angry when I left here, Aunt Rachel. As much as I hated workin’ in the mine when I was six, it was nothin’ compared to how Mama felt about me havin’ to do it. I was so angry that she had to feel that way. And I was angry that he left her to raise me alone. He knew what Strawberry was like. He knew what it would be like for a woman alone with a child in a minin’ town. I wanted to make someone pay for what Mama went through,” he admitted what she already knew. “But then I got to the ranch and – I don’t know, Aunt Rachel, it just wasn’t so bad. Nick was a good boss to work for. Me and Audra got to be friends. I didn’t really know Mrs. Barkley at first but no one had anythin’ to say but kind words about her. And I couldn’t be mad at them for what he did,” he shook his head slightly. “So I decided I wasn’t gonna tell ‘em who my father was. Leastways not when I did. And for sure not the way I did. I pretty much thought I could work there for a good long time and be happy as Heath Thomson. The pay was good. I could have taken care of you and Hannah easily on what they were payin’. But, boy howdy, Aunt Rachel – Nick’s got an almighty temper!” Heath breathed out.

“Like someone else I know?” Rachel laughed softly.

“I ain’t gonna say I don’t – but I usually simmer a while before I boil over. Nick just seems to explode and he somehow got it into his mind that I worked for the railroad. There’s big trouble with the railroad over in the Valley and he thought I was there to make trouble for the ranchers,” Heath explained to her. “So one night he dragged me out of the bunkhouse and wanted me to tell him what I was doin’ there. When I wouldn’t, he said he’d beat it outta me. Well, I got so mad I just told him I was his father’s bastard son. Everythin’ that went on in the next couple days really ain’t worth tellin’ but when it all settled down I was livin’ in the big house and was more or less welcomed into the family.”

“I would think that would make you happy. Isn’t that what you always wanted? A family.”

“Aunt Rachel, you know I had a family. You and Mama and Hannah have always been my family.”

“But with Leah gone you needed that blood connection. You needed to find where you belonged. That’s why Leah told you who your father was. She wanted you to find your family,” she pointed out. “So why aren’t you happy? It’s what you both wanted.”

Heath took a deep breath that he let out slowly before telling her, “Jarrod is great, Aunt Rachel. He’s part big brother, part friend, and … and even part father. Audra is wonderful – she accepted me without question and sometimes I think she can read my mind. Never had that kinda connection with someone before,” he admitted. “I mean … not someone who was just a friend. Eugene is a lot like Jarrod but I’m not sure I’ll ever get to know him well because he’ll be leavin’ for school in a couple months and I don’t ‘spect he’ll spend too much time on the ranch in the future. And Mrs. Barkley is just as classy and elegant as everyone said. She’s a lot like Mama.”

“But --,” Rachel prompted impatiently.

“But as long as I’m there, I’ll always remind her that Tom Barkley broke the vow he made to her. I can see it in her eyes. Sometimes I see a look that I just can’t figure out – like I’m hurtin’ her just by being there. And I reckon it’s even worse for Nick. We got along pretty good when I first got there. Leastways ‘til he decided I was hidin’ somethin’ – which I was but it wasn’t what he was thinkin’. Before I told ‘em who my father was, Nick treated me more like a brother than he ever will again. He ain’t gonna treat me like one and he sure ain’t gonna call me his brother, ‘cuz if he did it would mean his father wasn’t really who Nick thought he was. Aunt Rachel,” he paused for a breath, “I didn’t think about nothin’ but bein’ mad at Tom Barkley when I went to Stockton. I didn’t think about his family – or that I’d actually like ‘em. I didn’t think about what it would do to ‘em. I didn’t want other people to be hurt. None of it was their fault. It might not mean anythin’ to him – but he’s my brother – and I don’t know the rules about bein’ a brother but I don’t think you’re s’pose to hurt your brother. And I just can’t stay there knowin’ that Nick – and Mrs. Barkley – only have to look at me to feel that pain.”

“What do you mean you can’t stay there?”

“When Nick and I get back to the ranch, I think I’m gonna pack up and leave.”

Neither one of them had seen Nick as he approached from the direction of the livery. He stopped when he heard them talking and smiled as he heard Heath say he’d be leaving the ranch. He stepped back into the shadows, not wanting to announce his presence yet.

“Where would you go?” Rachel sounded concerned.

“Don’t rightly know but I’ve never had trouble findin’ work. Don’t worry,” he leaned close and kissed her cheek. “I won’t leave the area without comin’ back here first. I figure I’ve been tellin’ ya’ long enough that I’d fix your roof; I won’t move on before I do that. I promise,” he tried to say it lightly as he picked up the pile of split wood that Rachel helped settle in his arms.

Nick watched them disappear into the house and only then did he mutter to himself, “And good riddance, I say. Almost makes me want to head back to Stockton right now instead of going after those horses.”

He didn’t want them to know that he’d overheard their conversation so he waited a couple minutes before approaching the house. He suspected that if Heath knew he’d heard them, he’d probably have thought Nick was intentionally eavesdropping – which, he had to concede, he HAD been. He COULD have backed away and not listened. But he rationalized that he really hadn’t planned to walk in on their conversation so there was no reason to feel guilty about it. Still if Heath knew that he had, it would be too easy for them to get into an argument over it and as much as he didn’t want to be there he was still determined to be a gentleman in front of the ladies. And he was equally determined that he’d excuse himself as soon as decently possible when they finished supper. With that resolved, he decided that he’d waited long enough and stepped up onto the porch to knock on Rachel’s front door.

Rachel was the one to open the door and stepped back silently, inviting him in with a gesture. She closed the door behind him before taking his arm to invite him further into the room.

“Hannah,” she said loudly, knowing her hearing was fading along with her eyesight. “Hannah, this is Mr. Barkley.”

They all heard the gasp that escaped her lips before she turned around. “Oh --! Oh…why you wait to come now?” she looked at him from across the room. “You be here too late! Miz Leah be gone now. Why didn’t you come when she needed you? Now you be too late…”

Chapter 5

Hannah looked across the room, shaking her head, and said it again. “Now you be too late…”

It was Rachel who reacted first. She let go of Nick’s arm and hurried to her friend’s side. “Hannah, that’s Nick Barkley,” she was saying even as Heath moved towards Nick.

Heath grabbed Nick’s arm and spun him around towards the door. He pulled the door open and almost dragged the other man outside. “Don’t you say a word – you just listen to me,” Heath ordered and Nick was stunned enough to do as he said. “She’s an old woman who don’t hear or see as well as she used to. She’s one of the finest women I’ve ever known – and she didn’t mean nothin’ by that. She just gets confused sometimes. We’re goin’ back in there and we’re gonna have a nice friendly meal. And if you do or say anythin’ to upset her – regardless of how they raised me – I’ll lay ya’ out flat right in front of ‘em. Ya’ got that?”

Nick’s eyes studied Heath intently. For a long moment neither of them said anything. Nick considered the possibilities, clenching and unclenching his jaw in a regular rhythm. He could walk away right now but they’d probably get into a fight over that – and they only had a day on the trail behind them so that probably wasn’t a good idea. He could go back in and ask her what she’d meant by what she said – but that would probably get them into a fight as well. Or he could go back in, say nothing, eat supper – and leave. In the end there wasn’t really an option. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get into a fight with Heath. Right about now he was thinking that sounded like a pretty good idea. But he was hungry and his stomach won out.

“Alright,” he nodded. “We’ll go back in and we’ll have supper. But I ain’t stickin’ around for a game of checkers afterwards,” he said sarcastically, leaning a bit closer for emphasis. “I’m leaving as soon as we’re done.”

“That’s just fine with me,” Heath agreed. “I wasn’t really countin’ on ya’ joinin’ the family hour tonight. Ya’d best take a couple deep breaths, Nick, ‘cuz you’ve turned an interestin’ shade of red.”

As Heath went back into the house, Nick did exactly that. He took several deep breaths before following the blond cowboy. Heath had gone into the small kitchen area where both Rachel and Hannah were putting the final touches on their supper. Nick was amazed at how his whole demeanor changed when talking to the women. Less than a minute before Heath was threatening him with bodily harm and now he was teasing the women as though that hadn't ever happened.

“Ya’ know ya’ got two starvin’ men here,” he put one arm around Hannah and with the other reached for something on the tiny countertop next to the stove.

Hannah hit his hand with the spoon she held. “You know your Mama taught you better than that, boy! You eat when the food goes on the table.”

He laughed and said, “I – was – just gonna help ya’ put it on the table.”

“Your Mama also taught you not to lie,” Rachel swatted at his hand this time. “You can show Mr. Barkley where to wash up and Hannah and I will see this food safely to the table. Now go before we decide to take our time,” she handed him a towel as she shooed him away.

Heath turned away with a smile; a smile that faded as soon as he caught Nick’s eyes. He gestured with his head towards a small hallway that led to the back of the house. There was a room on either side of the hall but Heath led him to the door at the back of the house and then outside. “Sorry – it ain’t quite what you’re used to.”

“It’s not a whole lot different than coming in off the range,” Nick said when he saw the pump several feet behind the house. “And you don’t have to apologize. We didn’t always live in that big house with modern conveniences.”

“Yeah,” Heath breathed out. “I know.”

He pumped the handle while Nick rubbed the dirt off his hands in the icy cold water then splashed some on his face. Nick took the towel Heath handed him and dried his hands and face before returning the favor. Not a word passed between them as they washed up and returned to the house. The food had all been moved to the table that had already been set with four places even before Heath had returned with Hannah. As Heath held Hannah’s chair for her, Nick did the same for Rachel.

The meal was eaten mostly in silence. Rachel tried to get a conversation going but struggled to find questions she could ask that wouldn’t make someone at the table uncomfortable. From her conversation with Heath she knew that Nick didn’t acknowledge him as his brother so she tried to avoid the word ‘family’. She didn’t want Nick to think she was implying something he still didn’t accept – even though it was something she knew to be true. But she found a few safe questions. She asked about the ranch and their other holdings and wasn’t really surprised when he never mentioned the Barkley mines among all the other Barkley interests.

As Nick had promised, he didn’t stay any longer than it took to eat. When they’d all finished and Rachel began to clear the table, he excused himself, telling them he wanted to get back to the livery to see that the horses were okay now that the thunder and lightning had caught up to them. Rachel insisted that he use the rain slicker she pulled from the back of a closet. She told him it had belonged to her husband, Jacob, and she’d kept it for its practicality although she hadn’t ever used it herself. Nick accepted the loan of it only because refusing would have taken longer; he could tell from her manner that Rachel Caulfield was a woman you didn’t say ‘no’ to about practical matters. He DID try to say no when she insisted he come back for breakfast in the morning – but, as it turned out, Rachel considered breakfast a practical matter and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer to that either. Besides, she reminded him, he’d have to come back to return the rain slicker.

Nick grumbled to himself all the way back to the livery stable. He just knew she’d forced him to take the rain slicker so when she invited him to breakfast she could use the slicker as an excuse for him to have to accept. He probably missed some secret signal between her and Heath, he thought. That boy would welcome any opportunity to watch him squirm and Nick knew that somehow Heath was responsible for the breakfast invitation. Well, he’d show him. He’d be charming and gracious to a fault – and prove to them that Heath couldn’t possibly be his brother because they were as different as the sun and the moon.

And despite Heath’s reaction to what Hannah had said, Nick wouldn’t have been at all surprised to find that Heath had persuaded her to say it as soon as he walked in. It wasn’t as though he really believed that she mistook him for someone else. That was just too obvious. Rachel was probably in on it. She’d said only ‘Mr. Barkley’ when she introduced him. Not Nick Barkley. It had been Mr. Barkley. And then, of course, Hannah pretended to mistake him for someone she knew by the same name. How stupid did they think he was? So what if the Barkleys owned a mine in Strawberry at one time. It was a big stretch to go from owning a mine to what they wanted him to believe. Nothing they said would make him believe that Heath Thomson was his brother. Nothing. He’d figure out some way to make Jarrod pay for sending them on this trip together.

He had a restless night in the stable, telling himself that the only reason he was having a hard time getting to sleep was because of the storm. It didn’t matter that the storm had ended before midnight. Well past that hour he was still telling himself that it was the storm that was keeping him awake. That was his story – and he was stickin’ to it. Unless, of course, someone asked at breakfast how he’d slept. Then he’d tell them he’d slept like a baby. He’d just leave out the part about the baby having colic and being awake all night.

By contrast, Heath had a very relaxing night at Rachel’s house. He was able to tell Hannah and Rachel about his time in Stockton without having to worry about someone getting angry at the turn their conversation had taken. They asked about and he told them of the tumultuous relationship he had with Nick but he chose not to mention any other problems he’d encountered from people in Stockton who were less tolerant than they. They wanted him to be happy and he wanted them to believe that, for the most part, he was. They wanted to know about this trip he and Nick were taking and, after telling them of its purpose, he admitted that it might have another purpose. He might take the opportunity to see if there was still a job available with George Russell in Carson City. And he was thankful that neither of them questioned his desire to do that.

At some point during the evening, Rachel brought out a book that she called a remembrance book. Heath vaguely remembered seeing it when he was a boy but remembered little of what she had in it. She wanted him to see some things she’d added to it. So among some pressed flowers, a handkerchief trimmed in lace, and a picture of a horse that he didn’t remember drawing even when she told him he’d drawn it for her birthday when he was seven – he saw pictures that had once belonged to Mama.

Rachel took them from between the pages almost reverently and handed them to him one at a time. Most of them he’d seen – a picture of Mama when she was a young girl – another when she was a young woman. Oh, she WAS beautiful, he couldn’t help thinking as he took the pictures and studied them, then set them on the small table next to the chair he sat on so he could study them again later. She handed him a picture of him as a laughing baby and another as a smiling four-year-old. There was one of Mama holding him cradled in her arm when he was a baby, looking down at him with a look that he’d always thought of as purely Mama. A look of unconditional and everlasting love. There was his favorite, the one that had been taken of him and Mama when he was almost seven. Looking at it now, with an adult eye, he was struck by how young she looked. He looked at it longer than any of the others, running his finger over Mama’s cheek as he studied her features, recommitting them to memory.

And then Rachel handed him one final picture. One he’d never seen before. Mama and –

“This is…” his voice trailed off as he looked closely at the man in the picture with Mama. “Is this…?”

“That’s Leah and Tom,” Rachel told him what he already knew. “A traveling photographer came through town. It was Tom who insisted they have the picture taken. Leah told him she couldn’t have her picture taken looking the way she did because she’d been working all morning at the restaurant – but he told her she looked beautiful and he wanted a picture to remember the moment. Maybe he’d already decided that he’d be leaving soon because it was only a few days later that he left Strawberry. Leah was sure he’d come back because he left the picture behind. She kept saying he couldn’t remember the moment because he hadn’t take the picture … so of course he was coming back. I didn’t want to say it to her, but I figured he left the picture so SHE would remember the moment. Quite honestly, I found it a selfish gesture – moving on and forgetting about her but wanting her to remember him.”

They were both smiling out at him. Mama looked so happy – and comfortable with the arm that was around her shoulders. Why did it have to be someone who had another life to return to? Mama deserved so much better.

“If ya’ don’t mind, I’d like to hang onto these for a spell so I can look at ‘em again a bit later tonight.”

“Of course,” Rachel understood that he was really saying ‘when I’m alone later tonight’. “If there are any that you’d like to take with you, you’re welcome to keep them. They DID belong to Leah so rightfully they’re yours.”

He thought about it for a moment before saying, “I think I’ll leave ‘em here for now. That way ya’ll know I’ll be comin’ back to fix your roof.”

“With that promise on your mind, I think I’ll excuse myself and retire. It’s getting late and I’m not as young as I used to be,” she smiled slightly as she looked over at Hannah who’d already nodded off. Rachel reached out to touch her arm and she jerked awake, looking around her as though she wasn’t quite sure where she was. “I think Heath would like us to get off the sofa so he can get some sleep,” Rachel suggested to her.

Heath stood up to help both women to their feet. It was an overstuffed sofa and he remembered having to help Mama stand up when she’d sink into its cushions. Thinking about that now, he wondered if it might not have been one of those games Mama played with him that was really designed to teach him how to be a gentleman. Offering his arm to a woman to assist her to her feet seemed to be second nature to him now and Mama and the sofa were probably responsible for that, he thought with a smile of reminiscence.

Aunt Rachel had always referred to the sofa as the one luxury Uncle Jacob had allowed in the house. Every other piece of furniture had a practical use but the sofa took up almost the full length of the wall and was big enough that at least four people could comfortably sit on it – or Uncle Jacob could stretch out on it for a Sunday afternoon nap, which was probably why he allowed it in the first place. Heath had slept on it a time or two and it was as comfortable as any bed he’d ever slept in. As he helped the women to their feet he found himself being glad that Nick had gone off to sleep in the livery stable because they probably would have gotten into an argument over who got to sleep on the couch and who had to sleep on the floor. That would have definitely ended the night on a bad note.

Rachel gave him a pillow and blanket but he waited until he could tell that the two women had settled in before he put them to use. As he waited, he occupied his time looking through the pictures again, first setting aside the one of Mama and – his father. He didn’t want to look at that one because now he had something else to be mad at him for. Mama looked so happy in that picture and Tom Barkley had taken that away from her. Sure, he and Mama had had happy times together. But what he saw on her face in that picture was a contented happiness – not a spontaneous moment of happiness. As much as any child would, he wanted to believe that he’d made his Mama happy. But he knew they were only moments of happiness and not a lifetime of happiness. For taking that away he hated Tom Barkley anew.

So he set that picture aside and looked through the others until he felt himself ready to sleep. Not wanting to scandalize Hannah who was always an early riser, he took off only his boots and belt and slept in his clothes. And despite the renewed anger at his father he slept remarkably well. It was one of the best night’s sleep he’d had since he’d gone to Stockton.

* * * * *

If they’d been out on the trail, they’d probably have been on their way by 6 a.m. but at that hour in Strawberry they were just finishing breakfast. Nick had heard Rachel ask Heath if he was going to visit Leah’s grave and he’d said he would if he had time. So as they finished their morning meal, Nick told him he’d get the horses ready and meet him back at the house, figuring Heath could use the time to go to the cemetery. Nobody was more surprised than Heath when he made the offer. They left the house together, headed in the same general direction. But then Heath handed his saddlebag and rifle to Nick before he turned down the street Hannah lived on – the street he and Mama had lived on – to get to the cemetery, while Nick continued on to the livery.

“G’morning,” Nick greeted a man who was arriving just as he did. “Are you Mr. Flynn?”

“I am,” he nodded a greeting.

“I owe you for three horses we boarded here last night. Used some of your feed. And I made use of your loft so if there’s an extra charge for that you can add it to the bill.”

“No. No charge for the loft, Mr…uh…”

“Barkley,” he replied. “Nick Barkley.”

“From Stockton? One of Tom’s boys?”

“Tom Barkley was my father,” Nick agreed. “Did you know him?”

“Oh, it was a long time ago. When he still owned the mine here. He spent a bit of time here in town – but I ain’t seen him since before he sold the mine,” he told Nick. “You headin’ out?”

“Soon as I get them saddled up,” he indicated the horses.

“All three?” the man sounded surprised.

“Well, two of ‘em. I’m just doing a man a favor. The other is our packhorse.”

“I’ll give you a hand,” Flynn offered and the job instantly became much easier and was finished well before Nick would have expected it to be.

* * * * *

Heath wasn’t really sure what he believed about a god, and angels, and heaven, and an afterlife. He believed that there was something inside him that was what remained of Mama on earth – but where she was – well that was a mystery that would probably only be resolved when he joined her someday. But he knew that he felt closer to her when he stood there at her final resting place and he’d chosen to come there so he could tell her about his decision to leave the ranch. Surely she would understand. Mama, who wouldn’t have done anything to intentionally hurt another, would certainly understand that he couldn’t stay somewhere when he knew that he was hurting others by being there.

He’d taken a flower from Rachel’s garden and he laid it on her grave before saying, “Mama, I just want ya’ to know that I did what ya’ wanted me to do. I found my father’s family – and I’ve been livin’ there in Stockton with ‘em – and if there really is a heaven, I guess you already know that. And you probably know anything else I might wanna tell ya’. But I wouldn’t be much of a man if I didn’t tell ya’ myself that I’m thinkin’ about movin’ on from there. Mrs. Barkley is a lot like you and if ya’ think on it I s’pose ya’ll realize that it hurts her to see me there every day. She’d never send me away. In fact, she was the one who told everyone I was stayin’. But I just don’t wanna hurt her that way. And even though I hate Tom Barkley for what he did to you – I don’t want Nick to end up hatin’ his father. If I stay there – someday he’ll realize I’m tellin’ the truth – and as much as Nick hates any injustice that’ll tear him apart. So when we get back there, I’m gonna leave,” Heath finally got to the point. “I’ll come back here first to see Aunt Rachel and Hannah and to let ya’ know where I’ll be goin’. When ya’ told me who my father was, I don’t know if ya’ planned that I’d spend the rest of my life with ‘em – but I know ya’ wouldn’t want them payin’ for something he did a long time ago so I hope ya’ understand why I can’t stay there.”

He wasn’t really praying when he closed his eyes and bowed his head slightly as he finished talking to his mother. He was waiting for an answer. He was waiting for that feeling inside that told him he was doing the right thing. Mama had called it his conscience; he preferred to just call it Mama. He felt a soft breeze rustle his hair and a trace of a smile tugged at his lips as the face he’d committed to memory the night before suddenly appeared in his mind’s eye. He didn’t think it had been a conscious thought; it seemed to have come to him unbidden. So maybe Mama WAS talking to him. Or maybe he just wanted to believe she was. Regardless, he felt that he had his answer. Mama understood why he had to leave the Barkley Ranch. And she wasn’t going to tell him that he had to stay.

He hadn’t noticed them on his way to the cemetery but on his way back to Rachel’s house he couldn’t help but notice what a sweet song the birds were singing.

* * * * *

Nick had walked the three horses back to Rachel’s house, arriving just as Rachel and Hannah were departing. “I’m sure Heath won’t be long,” Rachel told him as he tied the horses to the rail in front of her house. “If I’m not back from walking Hannah home by the time you leave, let me wish you a safe trip now. And please feel free to wait inside and have another cup of coffee while you wait.”

“If you don’t mind, I think I will. I’m not quite sure I’m awake. Another cup of coffee just might do the trick,” he admitted. “Thank you for your hospitality. It was quite a change from what I normally find on the trail.”

“I’m sure it was,” Rachel couldn’t help a slight laugh, knowing Nick hadn’t wanted to be there and was doing his best to be a gentleman to the end. “You’re welcome to stop any time you’re in the area.”

While Rachel and Hannah walked away from the house, Nick went inside and poured himself a cup of coffee. Deciding that he might as well be comfortable, he sat down in the living room area to await Heath’s return. He laughed as he glanced at the table next to the chair he sat on. There was a picture of a woman and a young boy on the table and he didn’t doubt it was Heath, minus a couple front teeth. He couldn’t help but wish that he’d been the one who’d punched them out. But then, on reflection and closer inspection, he realized Heath was at the age when most kids started losing their baby teeth and the loss had probably been a natural occurrence.

“Oh, well,” he said out loud, “it was a nice fantasy while it lasted.”

There were more pictures on the table and he didn’t figure anyone would mind if he looked at them. If she didn’t want to share them, Rachel would have put them away, he reasoned. They were all of Heath – or a woman he assumed to be Leah – or Heath and Leah together. All of them – except the last one. The one that made him feel that he’d suddenly stopped breathing. The one that made his hand shake and made him feel nauseous. The one that made him want to be anywhere but where he was. It was a moment before rational thought returned to a mind that had gone blank and the only rational thought that came to his mind was that he wanted to get out of there. He set the pictures back on the end table, the one with the missing teeth on top. He could feel his legs shaking as he stood up and when he put the cup of coffee on the kitchen table he didn’t notice that he’d set it down on a spoon and it immediately tipped over, spilling its contents across the surface of the table. He felt like he was moving in slow motion as he took the few steps necessary to reach the door and pull it open. And when he stepped out onto the front porch, it was with the hope that Heath was on his way back from the cemetery because, at the moment, his fondest wish was to ride out of Strawberry … and wake up somewhere along the trail and find that the trip into Strawberry had been a dream.

He had only a short wait; Heath was just approaching as he stepped out onto the porch. “I saw Aunt Rachel and Hannah on my way back so there’s no need to wait to say good-bye,” Heath told him. “You ready to go?”

“Sure,” Nick said simply, silently studying Heath as he approached Magic and said a few quiet words to the horse.

Heath checked his gear, making sure the saddlebag and rifle were stowed securely then swung up into the saddle. As if to himself he said, “Sure did ‘spect it to be a whole lot colder this mornin’.”

“Today ain’t no different than yesterday,” Nick sounded confused.

“’Ceptin’ I heard that hell was gonna freeze over last night. Woulda made it a mite cold today if it had,” Heath looked down at him, still standing next to Coco. He didn’t even try to hide the smile before he headed out of town.

Nick was slow to follow. As he watched Heath riding away he thought of the picture he’d seen inside. Heath’s mother and his father. For the very first time he wondered if it was really possible that Heath was his brother. He couldn’t be … it was just … inconceivable that his father would have left a child of his to grow up in a place like this. He wouldn’t have! Nick realized – reluctantly – that he was never again going to be able to say that no one could convince him of that.

But he also realized that even if Heath was his brother – it didn’t mean he had to like him.

Chapter 6

The town of Strawberry was in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada but they had a couple easy hours of riding before they began their ascent of the mountains in earnest. They weren’t riding nearly as far apart as they had the day before – mostly because Nick was doing the following and wasn’t going to let Heath get that far ahead of him. But, still, their ride had been as void of conversation as the previous day’s ride until Heath stopped at the foot of a mountain trail and waited for Nick to join him.

“We should prob’ly rest the horses for a bit,” Heath told him when he was within earshot. “It’s all hard uphill for the next two or three hours.”

Nick silently dismounted and looked back the way they’d come. They’d already done some climbing and he surveyed the landscape behind and below them with an appreciative gaze. He took in a deep breath of the fresh morning air and let it out with a loud sigh.

“Somethin’ wrong, Nick?” Heath was at his side, looking back for whatever had captured Nick’s attention.

“No,” Nick shook his head. “Just admiring the scenery.”

Heath nodded at the sentiment before sitting back on a rock and studying the other man for a moment.

“WHAT?” Nick looked over at him sharply.

“Nothin’,” Heath shook his head. “Ya’ want me to take Buster for a while when we move on?”

“No,” Nick declined the offer. “Since you’re the one who knows these mountains, I’ll let you find your way without having to worry about another horse.”

“Okay,” Heath nodded. After another brief silence between them Heath observed, “Ya’ look tired. Ya’ sleep okay last night?”

“Like a baby,” Nick said quickly.

“Did Mr. Flynn come by the livery this mornin’?”

“What if he did?”

“Just askin’, Nick,” Heath sounded surprised at the challenging tone. “I prob’ly shoulda stopped by and said hi. I DID work for him; he was always good to me. One of the few men I knew when I was a kid who was. Did ya’ meet him?” he rephrased his question.

“Yeah, I did,” Nick confirmed. “Nice man. He helped me saddle the horses.” Then he decided to tell him, “He said he knew my father.”

“I’m sure he did,” Heath shrugged. “Mr. Flynn’s been in Strawberry a long time. Ownin’ the livery he prob’ly met everyone who passed through – no matter how long they stayed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick demanded of him.

“Nothin’, Nick. It don’t mean nothin’,” he responded, a bit of anger creeping into his voice.

“Like what Hannah said last night? DID YOU TELL HER TO SAY THAT, BOY?”

“I didn’t tell her to say anythin’, Nick. And I told ya’ – Hannah ain’t seein’ as well as she used to. She was just confused. And I swear if ya’ say one bad thing about her – ya’ ain’t gettin’ over these mountains!”

“No matter what you get the people in Strawberry to say for you, I’m NOT gonna let you keep spreading your lies about my father. Tom Barkley was a great man and I’m not gonna let you ruin his name!”

“Well, tell me this, Nick,” Heath challenged. “How great can a man be who has six-year-olds workin’ in his mine?”

“I’d have to agree with you that a mine is no place for a six-year-old to work,” Nick conceded. “And I’m sorry you had to work at all at that age. But you can’t blame my father. By the time you went to work in the Strawberry mine, my father had sold his interest in that mine.”

“And don’t that make ya’ wonder?” Heath asked pointedly.

“WONDER WHAT?”

“Nick, Tom Barkley was my father and the only reason ya’ won’t say it out loud is ‘cuz then ya’d have to admit that he WASN’T such a great man. Well, if he was all that great – why did he sell the one thing that woulda given him an excuse to visit Strawberry without anyone bein’ the wiser? Ya’ once said he couldn’t be my father ‘cuz he wouldn’t neglect his own kid. Well, he did, Nick! Maybe he didn’t want anyone to know about me and Mama. Maybe he was afraid that he’d lose everythin’ he’d built up in Stockton. Maybe he thought it would threaten his family if he told your mother,” he suggested angrily. “But he had a mine in Strawberry that woulda let him travel there real regular. Even if he didn’t want anyone else to know, he still had a reason to be in Strawberry that everyone else could accept. And he sold it. He sold it – and he never came back – and Mama never got over that,” Heath’s voice choked up. “So how great does that make him?”

Heath didn’t wait for an answer. He didn’t figure either one of them was happy with the turn their conversation had taken. He certainly hadn’t planned to confront Nick that way and he would have bet money that Nick didn’t plan it. So he got up and walked away and when Nick finally looked in his direction he was swinging up onto Magic’s back to continue their journey up and over the mountains.

* * * * *

They rode for another silent hour before Heath stopped again to let Nick catch up to him. Before Nick could say anything Heath turned in his saddle and suggested, “Nick, why don’t we just agree not to talk about it?”

“Seems to me we’re not talking about much of anything anyway.”

“I kinda figured that was the way ya’ wanted it,” Heath told him.

“Me? You’re the one who never talks,” Nick complained. “Sometimes I get the feeling that you think you’re only allowed so many words a day and you gotta ration ‘em out.”

“Better than using more words than ya’ need,” Heath muttered. He looked Nick in the eyes and said, “Nick, it ain’t gonna matter once we get back to the ranch anyway.”

“Why is that?”

“I’ve been thinkin’ it might be time to move on,” Heath told him.

“Move on to what?”

“To whatever’s out there waitin’ for me,” Heath frowned at the question. He’d expected Nick to say something like ‘fine with me’. But, then, he didn’t know Nick had overheard part of his conversation with Rachel and already knew Heath was thinking about leaving. And he didn’t know that Nick had already decided that if Heath brought up the subject he’d pretend to be surprised.

“Are you talking about leaving the ranch?” Nick decided that was the safest thing to say.

“Yeah, I think I should. It’d better for everyone.”

“Well – it’s your life. If that’s what you think is right, I’m not gonna try to talk you out of it.”

Heath started laughing. “That’s a good one, Nick. Ya’ haven’t wanted me at the ranch from the time the rest of the family invited me into the house. Ya’ don’t really think that I’d believe ya’ might try to talk me out of it, do ya’?” he chuckled, genuinely amused at the very idea that Nick would try to persuade him not to leave the Barkley Ranch. He settled himself back in the saddle and dug his heels into Magic. “There’s a good place to stop for lunch about an hour ahead,” he said over his shoulder as he continued on, still laughing.

It was a moment before Nick nudged Coco. That laugh, he thought as he followed the blond cowboy … he’d never noticed before but … god, it sounded just like Father’s…

* * * * *

The trail they’d been following meandered up the mountainside, sometimes so narrow that their packhorse just managed to squeeze through and sometimes opening up wide enough that all three horses could have passed through side-by-side. When Heath reined in Magic and dismounted so they could rest the horses and eat lunch, it was in an area that almost looked like Mother Nature had intended travelers to use it as a rest stop. The trail had opened into a small clearing, strewn with boulders that seemed to have been placed where they were to be used as chairs. Heath loosened the cinch on Magic’s saddle, not to remove it but to give him a bit of breathing room. The higher they went into the mountains, the thinner the air got and the horses could feel the effects just as the humans did.

“We’re getting into an area called Sweetwater,” Heath told Nick as the dark-haired cowboy was loosening Coco’s cinch. “See that little trickle of water there?” he pointed it out. “Up around those boulders it spouts over the rocks like a tiny waterfall. Don’t know exactly where it starts; somewhere up there,” he nodded towards the higher elevations. “But I ain’t leavin’ here ‘til I fill my canteen. It’s the sweetest water ya’ ever tasted.”

“You’re not climbing up there!” Nick almost ordered.

“Oh, I think I am,” Heath stated firmly.

“No, you’re not. It’s too dangerous,” Nick said, accepting one of the sandwiches Rachel had packed for them that morning.

“Nick, I’ve climbed up there every time I’ve ridden through here since I discovered it when I was twelve years old. I ain’t tripped yet,” he said facetiously.

“Yeah … well … you’d do it this time just so people would think I pushed you off,” Nick joked in return.

“Well, I ain’t leavin’ here without fillin’ my canteen,” Heath repeated as they both sat down to eat.

“I’LL fill the canteens,” Nick decided. “I’m not as accident prone.”

“I don’t care who fills the canteens as long as I leave with mine full,” Heath shrugged. “Ya’ know – I’ve thought if I could get myself a pack of empty bottles – I could bring ‘em up here and fill ‘em with water then sell ‘em to people in the cities so they’d know how good pure mountain water tastes,” he admitted.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Nick laughed. “You really think people would pay for bottles of water?”

“Nick, people in cities will pay for all sorts of strange things! When I was a kid I heard Aunt Rachel talkin’ about a place where people would pay to take a mud bath. I thought it sounded kinda strange for a grown-up to sit in a hole full of mud – but it DID sound like fun,” he conceded. “’Ceptin’ Mama gave me hell when I got home after trying it.”

“You took a mud bath!”

“Well – that’s what I tried to tell Mama,” Heath admitted with a slight laugh of his own. “Don’t tell me YOU never played in a mud puddle!”

“Yeah --,” Nick admitted reluctantly. “I suppose I did a time or two. And Mother gave me hell.”

“But if we lived in some fancy city we could do it without gettin’ in trouble – ‘cept we’d have to pay for it. City folk will pay for anythin’,” Heath laughed derisively.

“’Course they will – haven’t got much sense. If they did, they wouldn’t be living in a city. Don’t know why anyone would want to look at buildings all day when they could look at something like this,” Nick was studying the scenery around them. “You know,” he said wistfully, “I don’t think I could ever get enough of a view like this. They got mountains out East, but they don’t begin to compare to these mountains. There’s a place in Tennessee they call Lookout Mountain that’s nothing like this.”

“Yeah,” Heath breathed out taking in the spectacle spread before them, “some beautiful views to be sure – but if they’d seen this first they’da named it Lookout Hill.”

Nick looked over at him, a frown creasing his brow. “You know Lookout Mountain?”

“Been there,” Heath nodded.

Nick didn’t know a lot about Heath’s childhood, but what he did know said Heath wouldn’t have seen that part of the country as a child. And he didn’t think he’d have gone on his own once he’d left home as an adult. Not while his mother, Rachel and Hannah depended on Heath to help support them. So he asked, “Recently?”

It took Heath a moment to respond. When he did it was just a few quiet words. “Durin’ the war.”

Well, that didn’t seem possible either. Heath wasn’t old enough to have fought in the war. So Nick asked only half jokingly, “Has there been a war in the last few years that I don’t know about?”

“I reckon you heard ‘bout this one,” Heath looked over at him. “It was in all the newspapers. Ended ‘bout eight years ago.”

“You were at Lookout Mountain during the war! What the hell were you doin’ there, boy!”

“Sharpshooter,” Heath said simply.

“What! You couldn’t have been more than – what – fifteen!”

“Far as the Army was concerned, I was eighteen.”

“And they bought that! How old are you now?”

“I’m just short of 24,” Heath said defensively.

“So you were sixteen when the war ended?”

“Almost. Unless you’re talkin’ about Texas. I was fifteen when all the surrenderin’ started – but I was sixteen by the time Smith surrendered in Texas,” he added the last bit like it made all the difference.

“How old were you when you joined up?”

“Fourteen.”

“And they believed you were eighteen!”

“While it suited ‘em they did.”

“Damn – I was eighteen when I joined up and THAT was too young,” Nick reflected. “Father tried to talk me out of it but you couldn’t tell me anything when I was eighteen.”

“Mama tried to talk me outta it too,” Heath remembered, “but I guess I was the same way as you. ‘Sides they were payin’ good just for signin’ up and it was more money than I could make anywhere else.”

“Father never would have let you sign up at fourteen,” Nick could only laugh at the notion.

“Yeah, well, he wasn’t there to stop me, Nick,” Heath reminded him.

Nick looked over at him silently, surprised at what he’d said. He’d said ‘Father’, not ‘my father’, and he couldn’t help wondering if his subconscious really had accepted something that he’d vowed not to accept. If this man WAS his brother – nothing made sense. Father wasn’t the kind of man to run from his responsibilities – but if Heath’s story was true, he’d done exactly that. Nick wanted to say something. He thought he SHOULD say something. But he didn’t know what to say.

It was Heath who broke the uncomfortable silence between them. “I think we agreed not to talk about that,” he said as he got up and pulled his canteen from his horse. “I’m gonna fill my canteen.”

“I’M gonna fill your canteen,” Nick quickly got up and grabbed it from of his hand. “And mine. If it’s that good, I might as well join you.”

As Nick headed towards the water that trickled over the top of a rock Heath told him, “Ya’ gotta go around it, Nick. There ain’t nothin’ to hold onto the way you’re goin’.”

Nick stopped and looked at the rocks for a moment before he moved to his right to go around them.

“Nick!” Heath stopped him. “The other way. Ya’ ain’t gonna get close enough to fill the canteens that way.”

“Who’s doin’ this, boy! You or me?”

“Who’s done it before, Nick! You or me?” Heath mimicked him.

“You probably just think there’s only one way ‘cause that’s the way you did it the first time – and you just kept doing it that way. You know what they say – there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Heath took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as Nick began to climb around the rocks. “Oh, Nick…” he just shook his head and said softly, “…I don’t think we’re skinnin’ a cat.”

Well – best to make sure he got up there safely, Heath decided. He started climbing around the rocks to the left where they eventually flattened out, so that by lying down and stretching out an arm, a canteen could be held right under the spout of water that ran off in the opposite direction. Only a small bit splashed onto the rocks on his side. From there it trickled along a crack and dripped over the rocks where he’d pointed it out to Nick. Having first seen the dripping water when he was twelve, he’d climbed up to see where it came from. It was curiosity more than anything. If he hadn’t noticed it until he was older – an adult – he probably wouldn’t have bothered because common sense would have told him there were too many possibilities and he never would have filled his canteen that first time. As he considered that he realized it was a great argument against common sense.

Nick, he thought, was a great argument against common sense! And Nick thought people in cities didn’t have much sense, Heath smiled to himself as he sat and waited for Nick to figure out that he’d gone the wrong way.

“What are you smiling about!” he heard Nick’s voice from the rocks just below where he sat.

“Nothin’, Nick. Not a thing. Just admirin’ the scenery,” Heath couldn’t quite wipe the smile off his face. “Why don’t ya’ toss me one of those canteens and I’ll fill it for ya’.”

“I got up here, didn’t I?” Nick said stubbornly. “I’ll fill the canteens.”

“Okay --,” Heath sat down to wait until Nick asked for his help.

He knew Nick would try it every which way; he’d done it himself the first time until he’d noticed how the rocks were flattened out above the waterspout. It had taken longer to climb back down and start over but he’d only been twelve and, at that age, the extra work just seemed like an adventure. Now the extra work just seemed like a waste of time. He’d tell Nick that if he didn’t think Nick would start yelling. He didn’t figure yelling was a good thing to do when you were hanging onto the side of a mountain. Well – unless you were yelling for help.

“Okay!” he finally heard Nick say after Heath had leaned back against a boulder, tilted his hat down over his eyes and let out a loud yawn. “So – you were – right. I’m not gonna be able to reach it from here. If you wanna lend a hand, I’ll throw the canteens at you – I mean – to you.”

“Sure, Nick,” he took his hat off and set it on a rock. “Just take your time and make sure you’re holding on with at least one hand before ya’ toss ‘em,” he joked.

“This really isn’t that funny,” Nick grumbled as he settled himself so he could swing the canteens up by their straps.

“Sure it is, Nick. I can’t wait to tell the crew at the ranch about this,” Heath laughed.

The first canteen came at him a bit faster and harder than he expected.

“Good thing canteen throwin’ ain’t an event at the State Fair,” Heath continued to joke. “You were off by at least a foot or two.”

The second one came closer and he caught it by its strap.

“Well, maybe with a bit of practice you’ll be ready to compete,” Heath conceded.

He opened one of the canteens and emptied it of its contents. Lying down on the rocks he held the canteen out until he could feel it getting heavier from the water filling it. He pulled it away and turned it over to empty it of the water he’d just put it in. He didn’t want anything that might already be in the canteen to spoil the taste of the sweetest water he’d ever tasted.

Nick had watched for only a moment before he started back around the boulders to climb down. Heath filled the first canteen then sat up to take a drink. Oh, he’d forgotten how truly wonderful this water tasted! After a good long drink, he refilled the canteen and twisted on its cap. He was reaching for the second canteen when he heard the clatter of rocks and instinctively looked up and to his left to see where it was coming from. Then just as instinctively he realized it was coming from the other direction.

As he turned his head, more rocks clattered against the mountainside and he heard a sound that made his stomach turn and his heart begin to beat faster.

“HEATH --!”

He dropped the canteen and began to scramble back down the rocks hoping it was only his imagination that he could still hear rocks falling down the side of the mountain. Because if it wasn’t his imagination and rocks WERE falling – and Nick WAS yelling – it was probably because Nick was falling too!