The Matchmakers

by Leona (Heathisforme)

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Three brothers were sitting in the saloon, discussing the latest flames in their lives while drowning their happiness in a bottle of whiskey. Jarrod, the eldest brother, kept mostly to himself but tonight he felt the need to talk to his brothers who were adept to keeping things lively. Nick, the middle brother was the loudest, proclaiming his love of his lady love to all that would listen. Heath, the youngest brother, drank his jigger of whiskey, grinning at his silly, drunken brothers. He was listening as Jarrod described his lady love, a beautiful socialite in San Francisco, who was the toast of the town.

Jarrod described, in a drunken whisper, that his love was ready, willing, and able to do anything he wanted when he wanted. Nick, quiet for once, leaned over towards his elder brother listening with rapt attention. Suddenly Jarrod was quiet and announced he had an idea.

“What is it brother Jarrod?” asked Nick, weaving slightly in his chair. Heath was curious as well, as it wasn’t too often that Jarrod came up with anything fun to do.

“Since we are so happy, why don’t we set our dear little sister up with someone. She always seems to pick men that are total losers.” Jarrod gulped his drink and poured another one, not looking at his brothers. What a dumb idea! He thought to himself.

To Jarrod’s surprise, his brothers loved the idea. They had a napkin and a pencil, already writing names of potential dates for their sister. “Henry Jones?” asked Nick. Heath shook his blond head. “Jack Douglas?” A nod. “How ‘bout Sam Hayes?” Another nod. Jarrod laughed at his brothers’ enthusiasm.

“How ‘bout Fred Duncan?” interjected Jarrod, puffing away on a cigar. Nick and Heath gaped at their eldest brother. Fred Duncan? The wealthiest, most handsome, most eligible bachelor in Stockton? The three brothers grinned at each other. The perfect candidate. Audra was trying to get him to notice her for months now but to no avail. Well, she was lucky she had three of the most helpful brothers to aid her in that regard!

A few days later, the brothers gathered in the sitting room of the Barkley mansion. They each had a drink, awaiting the arrival of their sister from upstairs. They had managed to set up a blind date for her. She vehemently argued that she could pick her own dates but as Nick so blatantly told her, they were all losers. Heath put his arm around his sister and chucked her chin. “Boy howdy, Sis, we just want to help you out is all!” Audra looked up at her older brother admiringly and nodded, solemnly. “That a girl!” The brothers all smiled when they heard a knock on the door.

Jarrod opened the door and he wasn’t surprised when he saw that it was the dapper Fred Duncan standing there, waiting to be let in. He was dressed in a black tuxedo complete with a top hat. He held out his arm and Audra took it willingly bidding everyone a good night. They watched as the door shut behind them and whooped when they were gone.

Victoria watched her sons prance around the room, with their chests out, even Jarrod who was usually quite reserved. No good can come out of this, she thought. Nevertheless, she smiled as her sons toasted Audra and their great taste in men. The men retired to the billiard room to gamble away their hard earned money while Victoria excused herself to her room where she read till her daughter came home.

Audra was enjoying her date, but she wouldn’t let her brothers know. She had thought they had gone too far in picking her boyfriends for her. They were just too over protective of her, that’s all! Fred Duncan took her to the fanciest place in Stockton, Michelangelo’s, with the most expensive French food. Then he took her to the fanciest dance hall where you had to pay ten dollars a ticket to get in. They danced all the dances till very late.

She was wined, dined and treated like a queen. But there was something missing. Ahhhh….it was conversation. The dark haired man did not talk about things that were important. Audra tried to bring the conversation to a personal level, to talk about something she knew. Fred Duncan had an aristocratic air about him. But he talked about the places he had been to, the food he ate, the girls he dated. Audra decided he was not the man she thought he was. What a snob! She thought bitterly. I have an idea, she thought and formulated a plan to get back at her brothers with this blind date.

When she got home, her brothers were waiting for her, wanting to know how her date went. She smiled sweetly and told them it was glorious. The brothers smiled widely at this announcement. They had done good. “I invited him home for supper next Wednesday.” She told them and headed up the stairs for bed. She knocked on her mother’s bedroom door, telling her she was home and was going to bed.

“Did you have a good time Audra?” her mother inquired, concerned. She nodded and grinned at her mother, telling her of the details of the night. She, then, informed her mother of her plan to get back at her brothers. The silver haired matriarch smiled at her daughter and promised not to say anything to her brothers.

Wednesday rolled around and Audra was making dinner for her beau. She told her mother she didn’t need any help with cooking the meal, which Nick loudly complained about. “Nicholas, when you’re in love, you don’t care about cooking. Now be a nice big brother and keep your mouth shut all right?”

Nick gaped at Victoria, mouth hanging open, unbelieving what he had just heard. Audra in love? Can’t be, thought Nick, she only went out with him just once. He went into the study where Jarrod was studying some books and Heath was dutifully doing paperwork. “Mother says Audra is cooking supper!” blurted Nick. His two brothers looked at him panic stricken. “Mother says that what women do when they’re in love! Audra in love? She only met him once!” Nick was pacing frantically in front of the fireplace.

Heath got up from his chair and grabbed Nick by the shoulders. “Are you sure that’s what she said, Nick?” Nick nodded unable to say anymore.

Jarrod lay his book on the table and stood by his brothers. “Let’s just see what this guy is like. Audra may be in love with him but that doesn’t necessarily mean he is in love with her!” He said logically, and his brothers acquiesced to their older brother. That made a lot of sense they thought.

Fred Duncan, the handsome, wealthy, dapper man, they had begun to wish they never heard of, arrived promptly at the appropriate hour. He was dressed in an elegant business suit, again showing off just how much better then he was then the rest of them. Nick poured them all a drink and offered a toast, “To our sister, may she always be our ray of sunshine.”

“Here! Here!” replied everyone. Audra blushed at her brother’s unexpected compliment.

“Supper is almost ready everyone” announced Audra in her prettiest voice. Fred Duncan nodded approvingly and finished his drink. They all went into the dining room, and sat down. Supper looked superb, Silas set out the best china to serve out the stew that Audra prepared.

“Dig in, eat!” commanded the flaxen haired beauty. Fred Duncan stuck his fork into the invitingly looking stew, put the fork to his mouth and tasted the savory stew. He made a face but kept eating. He was famished. The others ate up as well, trying to keep a straight face at the salt ridden stew. The welcome guest gushed over the meal, spoke in a derogatory manner to Victoria, put the ranch down, told of his wild tales of his travels to Europe. The brothers looked at each other when he began to talk about the war and how unfair it was to everyone involved.

The Barkley men had just about enough of this. They thought this man was good enough for their sister? He wasn’t good enough for a snake! They were polite enough to him, inviting him to play pool with them after supper, and he started talking about being with the King of England, telling how he played billiards not this boorish game of pool. Heath watched in amusement as Audra gushed over her guest, making her brothers wonder at her mental state at the moment.

After a while, Fred Duncan took his leave of them, tipped his hat and bade them good night. “May I call on you again Miss Audra?” he asked politely.

“Perhaps, I’ll let you know!” She almost pushed him out the door and shut it behind him, leaning against it. She looked at her brothers and laughed hysterically at the astonished looks on their faces.

“And you thought I picked losers!” She laughed along with her mother. The brothers looked at each other sheepishly.

“We’re sorry Audra! We were only tryin’ to help!” Heath tried to explain to his sister, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings.

“Well I think I can do without your help! I can pick my own losers, thank you very much!”

A few nights later, the brothers three were sitting in the saloon with a pitcher of beer, playing cards when Heath said, “I have an idea. Let’s pick out a date for…..” He didn’t get another word out because Nick and Jarrod threw their beer at him.

“NO! WE WILL NOT PICK OUT ANY MAN FOR OUR SISTER!” they yelled together. “SHE CAN PICK HER OWN LOSERS!”

Jarrod filled the mugs again with the beer, and Nick commented, “Amen to that!”

THE END!