The Bolt-Hole
Interlude
6
by Lindabrit
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
Part 1
Silas found the big silver salver he was searching for, it
was an old piece and not in regular use and it had found its way to the back of
the kitchen cupboard. He pulled it out and examined it, yes, it was just what
he needed. He took it to the table and started to clean off the heavy tarnish,
the salver was old but of high quality and before long Silas had restored it to
shining perfection.
He returned to the cupboard and resumed his rummaging, gradually unearthing
three decanters, which like the salver were no longer in regular use. Silas
washed them and set them near the oven to dry off, while he took from the
liquor cupboard three bottles, one each of Bourbon, Scotch and Brandy. He
decanted the bottles into the clean decanters and arranged them to his
satisfaction on the salver. A set of glasses and the job was done, Silas
surveyed his handiwork with pleasure.
Victoria Barkley finished brushing her hair and laid down her silver backed
hair brush. Tears stung her eyes, the brush had been a gift from Tom, since his
death three months ago, such mementoes could reduce her to weeping despair just
because she happened to set eyes on them. She had tried hard to master her
grief and most of the time she managed pretty well, presenting a calm,
dignified sorrow to the outside world.
She fared less well here at home though, there were simply too many reminders
of her dead husband all about her. Her temper was uncertain and her moods were
very unpredictable, she knew it but could do little about it. She was too
deeply enmeshed in her own misery to have the strength of mind to fight her way
clear of it. Victoria stared at her reflection in her dressing table mirror, it
seemed absurd and wrong somehow that she was here, alive and breathing when
Tom...a fresh wave of mourning shook her and she bent her head, weeping anew.
When the paroxysm of grief had passed, Victoria poured some water into the bowl
on her tallboy, she rinsed her face and tried to hide the ravages of her
misery. She was painfully aware that she was failing to keep a check on the
activities of her two youngest children, relying heavily on her two older boys
to deal with the children.
She felt a little rush of love for Nick and Jarrod, they had been in constant
attendance since their father's death, supporting and encouraging her through
the nightmare days after Tom's murder. She was uncomfortably aware that they
already had fearsome burdens to bear. Jarrod, only 26 and a mere three years
out of law school, still busy establishing his practice, was now faced with
stepping into his father's shoes, with all that entailed. Tom's business interests
were extensive enough to stretch even so brilliant a young man as Jarrod, but
he was doing it and doing it well.
Nick, only 22 had risen admirably to the challenge of picking up the reins of
the ranch. His able lieutenants were at his back, but it was still a formidable
task for her volatile boy, but he was doing it and like Jarrod, doing it well.
In her own misery of loss, she could not help either of them, she couldn't even
control the antics of 12 year old Audra and 11 year old Eugene. Both her
younger children were behaving badly at the moment, sensing her inability to
handle them. The burden of exercising discipline over them was falling
completely upon Jarrod and Nick, their mother was helpless, bereft, forlorn.
Victoria sighed and rose a trifle wearily to her feet, it would be time for
dinner soon, she ought to give Silas a hand. She came out of her room onto the
landing just in time to see Silas entering Nick Barkley's bedroom with a heavy
tray in his hand. Intrigued, Victoria followed in Silas's wake, entering the
huge and magnificent room that until so recently had been hers and Tom's.
She had offered the room to Jarrod as the oldest of Tom's sons, she herself
could not bear to remain in it without the man who had left his stamp on it so
clearly. Jarrod had declined, preferring his own cosy study-room, but he in his
turn had offered the room to Nick. There was no denying that Nick Barkley had
always had a serious case of hero-worship for his father and he had been
thrilled to take over the palatial room.
Silas was busily engaged in arranging the drinks tray on the table in the
centre of the big room and jumped slightly when Victoria's voice interrupted
him.
"Silas, what on earth are you doing?"
The servant turned to her with his deferential smile, "I'm just setting a
drinks tray ready for when Mr Nick and Mr Jarrod come home this evening
Ma'am."
Victoria was puzzled, "there's a perfectly adequate drinks tray in the
foyer Silas and another one in the parlour and a third in the library, I see no
reason for this one as well."
The wise old eyes surveyed her, "No Ma'am? Well I'd like you to trust me
on this and believe me when I tell you that it's more necessary than you can
possibly know."
"But Silas, isn't it just encouraging the boys to drink
too much, I don't think that's at all wise, do you?"
He smiled serenely at his mistress, "you don't need to worry about that,
they won't drink to excess, I promise you they won't."
His eyes pleaded for her agreement and she hesitated for a long moment, this
unassuming man had been her right hand since that stormy night many years ago
when he had arrived at the cottage she and Tom lived in with their two boys. 6
year old Jarrod had been gravely ill with pneumonia and Silas had sent the
exhausted Victoria to bed. The next day, she had awakened to find her little
son much improved, due to Silas's skilled care and from that time on, Silas had
been an integral part of the Barkley household.
"All right Silas, if you want me to trust you, so be it," said
Victoria quietly.
Silas smiled, "thank you Ma'am, why don't we have some coffee in the
kitchen before we serve dinner?"
Seated either side of the big kitchen table, mistress and servant sipped their
coffee and Silas explained himself to the lady he considered it an honour to
serve.
"You see Mrs Barkley, those two young men need some place to go when
things are bad, some place where they can let their guard down and Mr Nick's
room is the place they've chosen for that."
"Is it so important that they have such a place? I mean we've always
discussed things openly in this family, you know that. Can't the boys let their
guard down as you put it in the living room with me?"
Silas hesitated, he was devoted to this lady and the last thing he wished to do
was hurt her, any more than her bereavement had already done but he had to be
honest with her, only honesty would serve her in this situation.
"No Ma'am," said Silas gently, "that is just about the last thing
they can do."
Victoria was beginning to understand, she clasped her hands in her lap and said
softly, "please go on Silas."
The servant's voice was gentle, "since your loss Ma'am, you know how hard
your boys have tried to fill their father's shoes, it hasn't been easy for
either of them, there's a whole bunch of folks willing to support and help
them, but there are others looking to wreck everything Mr Tom ever built up. So
the boys, well they can't show even a hint of weakness, they have to show a rock
solid strength to a world that is watching their every move. Watching to see
how they're going to make out, whether they can live up to their father. It
makes for a lot of strain and so far they've handled themselves real well. But
it makes it necessary to show a brave face, I mean all the time, never letting
it slip, not even for a second."
Victoria was aware that her hands were trembling and gripped them more firmly,
"it should have been possible for the boys to relax here at home shouldn't
it?"
"Yes Mrs Barkley, it should," said Silas as kindly as he could.
It was as though she had been groping through a dark tunnel for many days and
had suddenly emerged into full sunlight, so clearly did Victoria now see the
situation that her old friend was trying to explain to her.
She spoke softly and sadly, "I've been so caught up in my own grief that
I've leaned on Jarrod and Nick and made it necessary for them to show me their
brave face all the time too."
"That's about the size of it Ma'am," Silas concurred.
Victoria was experiencing a deep sense of guilt, "the children too,
I've let them run wild lately, I've relied on Jarrod and Nick to deal with
them, that has hardly been fair of me."
Silas smiled, "it has taken all your courage to bear your loss Ma'am but
it's time to pick up the reins again now and get on with living, don't you
think?"
Victoria smiled back, tremulously but sincerely, "so tell me more about
the drinks tray Silas."
"I've noticed that the boys go on up to Mr Nick's room and have a drink or
two together, they've been taking a drink up with them so I thought it would be
nice to set the tray there ready for them."
Silas studied his mistress, she was listening intently and didn't seem
distressed, so he went on,
"Those boys are honest with each other in that room Ma'am, they share
their troubles and their feelings, even their tears sometimes. I guess you
could say that room is the boys bolt-hole and we all need one of those from
time to time I guess."
Victoria nodded, her smile was decisive, she felt clearer in her mind than at
any time since Tom's death. "Very well Silas, the boys shall have their
bolt-hole and thank you for realizing that it was necessary and doing something
about it."
As she busied herself helping Silas with the preparations for dinner, Victoria
thought over their conversation and acknowledged to herself that everything
Silas had said was true. She resolved to somehow drag herself from the pit of
despair in which she had dwelt for the last three months. Her boys needed her
to be strong and so did the children. In her mind she could clearly hear Tom
Barkley's crisp tones, ‘now Victoria, this isn't nearly good enough is it?'
When Nick Barkley came into the house, wearily tossing gunbelt and hat onto the
foyer table, Silas told him that his brother had already arrived home and was
upstairs in Nick's room. The young rancher looked at the drinks tray and Silas
smiled at him.
"There are drinks in your room Mr Nick."
"Yeah? Thanks Silas, much obliged."
Nick took the stairs two at a time and strode down the landing to his room, he
went in half closing the door behind him and sat on his bed, pulling off his
boots. Jarrod uncoiled himself from the armchair before the bright fire and
crossed to the drinks tray with his empty glass.
"Since Silas has gone to the trouble of providing us with this, I made
myself at home, you don't mind do you Nick?"
"Course not, pour me one too, I'm chilled to the marrow!"
Victoria had been putting away clean clothes in Audra's room and as she emerged
onto the landing, she saw Nick enter his room, for one moment she hesitated
then she glided silently to stand outside Nick's door, she had never before
eavesdropped on her sons, but she did it now.
With a sigh of contentment, Nick dropped into the chair opposite Jarrod's, he
took the glass his brother held out to him and sipped the fiery liquid with
relish.
"Well we got the last of the stock rounded up this afternoon, I can head
‘em out tomorrow at first light."
"You've done well Nick, I thought for sure you'd need another day."
"Yeah, well I figured if I really push, we can offload the cattle at the
railhead and be back here Saturday."
Jarrod frowned, "I have a trial starting in San Francisco on Tuesday, I
need to be there Friday, I have witnesses to interview."
Nick sat up and leaned forward earnestly, "I know it's tough, but I've got
to get this delivery done and Saturday is the best time I can make."
"I realize that Nick, even at that you'll be pushing the men to the
limit."
"They can take it," growled Nick. He looked sharply at Jarrod,
"so can you do it? I just don't think she's ready to be here alone
yet."
The young lawyer sighed, "I know Nick, I agree with you," he smiled
at his younger brother, "I'll be here until you get back, my word on
it."
Victoria's hand was reaching for the door handle but she managed to check
herself, with a supreme effort of will she made herself turn and walk
noiselessly away. If she invaded the boys bolt-hole, then it would be a
bolt-hole no longer and Silas was right, the boys needed their private haven.
If she was to convince her sons that she had at last emerged from her mourning,
then she needed to find a different way to do it.
Victoria had thought of raising the matter of the boys
future plans during dinner, but she rejected the idea. Reasoning that if she
mentioned either the trail drive or Jarrod's court case so soon after the boys
conversation, they would guess that she had overheard them. No, she needed to
convince her sons of her ability to cope at home without them for a short time.
So she bided her time and tried to preside as cheerfully as she could over the
evening meal.
Victoria had wondered how to demonstrate to Jarrod and Nick that they could
safely leave her to cope alone for a week and unwittingly her two youngest
children provided her with the ideal opportunity to do so. Audra and Eugene had
both been difficult since the shock of their father's death. Eugene in
particular had been badly traumatized by witnessing the murder, indeed he had
been right next to Tom, close enough to be spattered with his father's blood.
He had been alone with the corpse until rescue came and the sensitive 11 year
old had been badly affected by the ordeal.
Since the murder, Gene had been moody and withdrawn, he was a clever boy but
his schoolwork seemed to be suffering and his normally sunny temperament had
vanished. He was not disobedient but his mother would almost have preferred it
if he had misbehaved, anything would have been better than the forlornly silent
and miserable child he had become. Nor was he always silent, his sad periods
were punctuated with short bursts of temper that were shocking in their
intensity. These rages could be triggered by seemingly trivial events and both
Jarrod and Nick had been becoming increasingly worried by the boy's seeming
inability to recover from the trauma of the murder. Victoria was aware, now
that Silas had opened her eyes to the problem, that she had not done anything
to help her youngest child come to terms with his father's loss and she was
anxious to remedy this situation.
Audra too was not the cheerful, friendly little girl she had been prior to the
murder. She had always been her father's pet, the only girl of his four
children and a little indulged by Tom Barkley. He was a good father though and
knew how to check her behaviour when it was required. In the vacuum left by
Tom's death, Audra had begun to misbehave more and more frequently. It was as
if she no longer cared about anything and her mildly tomboyish behaviour had
hardened into an absolute refusal to wear dresses any more.
Victoria had been just as thrilled as Tom when their daughter was born, she
loved all her children but it was nice to have a little girl to dress up and
Audra's companionship had always meant a great deal to her mother. In her newly
enlightened state, Victoria realized with something of a shock that she had
repulsed her daughter since Tom's death. She had pushed the girl away, shutting
her out of her own misery, a grief that threatened to completely overwhelm her.
What would Tom think of her, wondered Victoria, if she didn't reel Audra in and
control her behaviour before the damage was irreversible.
Right at the start of dinner, both the Barkley children began to act up and
before either Nick or Jarrod could call them to order, Victoria did so herself.
She felt the eyes of her two oldest sons upon her and knew that she had
surprised them, so far so good, but she needed to do more if she was to show
the boys she was on the road to recovery. Audra was dressed in riding clothes
and after calmly scrutinizing her daughter's appearance, Victoria smiled
inwardly, time to begin the transformation of the tomboy into a young lady
again.
"Audra, Aunt Minnie brought you two new dresses this morning, I want you
to wear one of them tomorrow."
Audra calmly surveyed her mother, Victoria had taken next to no notice of her
daughter for long enough to make the child bolder than she might have been.
"I won't," said the girl sulkily.
Nick Barkley glared at his little sister, "you cut that out you little
brat," he growled.
"You'll do as Mother says Young Lady," said Jarrod sternly.
Victoria's smile embraced both of her sons, "thank you boys, but I'll deal
with this." She looked at Audra, "don't you like the two new dresses
Darling?"
"No! They're both black!"
Jarrod intervened, with a gentle reproof, "Honey you know I explained to
you about mourning clothes..."
"Jarrod?"
Victoria's voice stopped the young lawyer in his tracks, "I said I'd deal
with your sister."
Jarrod's perceptive gaze rested on his mother for a moment, then he smiled
slightly, "I beg your pardon Mother," he said with deceptive
meekness.
Nick exchanged glances with Jarrod and Victoria was satisfied that she had got
their attention. She spoke to Audra again.
"Audra I want you to wear one of those dresses in the morning, you may
choose which one if you like."
"No, I won't! I don't like dresses any more."
Victoria fixed her daughter with a steely eye, "Audra it's been a long time
since I've paddled you, kindly don't make it necessary for me to do so
again."
Audra stared back at her mother, her china blue eyes deceptively innocent,
something was different, Victoria was not as distracted and vague as she had
been in recent weeks. Audra opened her mouth to defy her mother afresh, read
the determination in Victoria's face and wisely changed her mind.
"All right Mama," she said demurely.
Towards the end of the meal, Victoria glanced at Eugene's plate, the boy had
barely touched his food. She smiled at him kindly.
"Gene, try to eat a little more, you need your strength," she
prompted gently.
With swift violence Eugene swept his plate from the table with a crash,
"what does it matter," he sobbed, "what does anything
matter!"
Nick started to move but Victoria's hazel eyes flashed a warning glance at him
and he subsided. She pushed her chair back from the table a little and said
calmly,
"Gene come to Mama Darling."
He didn't obey her at once, just sat trembling, head down, fighting to control
his tears.
"Do as I say Gene, come here."
He slid sheepishly from his seat and came to stand beside her, Victoria drew
him close, slipping an arm around his thin shoulders and tenderly smoothing
back his thick brown curls.
"Listen Darling, I know how bad you feel right now and I'm sorry if I
haven't been able to help you very much but please trust me when I tell you
this pain will pass. We all loved Papa very dearly and his memory will always
be alive in our hearts but he would want and expect us all to get on with our
lives now."
The boy's soft blue eyes were fixed on her face, "I miss him," he
said simply.
Victoria's voice broke in the middle, "me too Darling, but we must make
him proud by soldiering on and doing our best, do you understand?"
Gene gulped down a sob, "I...I guess so Mama."
His mother hugged him, "go on up to bed now Dear, you too Audra, I'll
bring you both some hot milk shortly."
As the two Barkley children kissed their mother goodnight and complied with her
wishes, Nick and Jarrod exchanged significant glances, for the first time in
three months, their mother looked and sounded more like herself and a spark of
hope kindled in the breast of each man.
Nick and Jarrod had arranged with Silas to have a very early breakfast and met
each other at the table next morning. To their Surprise the door of the
breakfast parlour opened to admit their mother and the two young men rose
courteously to their feet. She bade them both good morning, kissing first
Jarrod and then Nick.
"You're up terribly early Mother," said Jarrod frowning anxiously at
her.
"Yeah, you know there's no need to get up when we do," confirmed
Nick.
Victoria seated herself and the boys followed suit. She smiled on both her
sons. "I know boys, I know, but I want to talk to you both."
She turned her attention to Counselor Barkley first, "Jarrod Darling, you
seem to be spending a great deal of time working at home these days, you must
have a ton of work waiting for you in San Francisco?"
"Well...I..."
"Yes, I thought so," said his mother not giving him time to make any
excuses. She directed her clear hazel gaze in Nick's direction.
"I understand you have a contract to fulfill and need to drive some cattle
north to the railhead?"
"Yeah but..."
Again Victoria smoothly overrode the reply, "your father built up a
reputation for always fulfilling a contract no matter how difficult, are you
all set?"
The two young men glanced at each other and as Victoria had known they would,
they misinterpreted her interest in their plans.
In his softest voice, Nick said, "now you don't need to worry about a
thing, I'll be back Saturday and Jarrod will be here until then, right
Jarrod?"
"That's right Mother," confirmed the lawyer, his tone as gentle and
as warmly reassuring as Nick's.
Their mother spoke in a brisk and businesslike tone, "now boys, you've
both been wonderful these last weeks but I think that enough is enough.
Jarrod?"
"Yes Mother?"
"I think that you should leave for San Francisco immediately, you can
hardly do justice to your law practice at this distance."
Without giving him an opportunity to reply, Victoria spoke again.
"Nicholas?"
"Yes Ma'am?"
"I think you should ease up on the men a little, you don't know what
problems you may encounter on the drive, so it is unwise to set a deadline for
your return that may not be realistic. I want you to promise me that you'll
take all the time you need."
"Now hold it," said Nick with asperity.
"I'm waiting for your promise Nick," repeated his mother firmly.
The harassed young rancher looked to his elder brother for support.
Jarrod looked searchingly at his mother and said carefully, "Nick and I
have been trying to maintain a presence here Mother, in case...in case you
needed us."
"I'm aware of that Jarrod," said his mother calmly, her smile
embraced them both lovingly, "I am more grateful to both of you than you
will ever know, but it is high time that things returned to normal and I think
I am ready for that."
Nick's hands involuntarily clenched into fists, "ha! normal? Things'll
never be normal around here again..." He encountered an icy flash from
Jarrod's eyes and shut up abruptly.
Victoria's hand reached across the table and covered Nick's fist. His hand
unclenched at once and turned under hers to hold her hand in a warm comforting
clasp.
"I know Darling," said Victoria, "but we owe it to your father
to do our best to make it so."
Nick nodded wordlessly, not trusting his emotions enough to speak.
Jarrod's perceptive eyes were on his mother, "are you sure about
this," he asked her gently, "you don't mind being here alone with the
children?"
Victoria's answer gently teased the two young men, "Jarrod, you don't need
my help with your legal business do you? And you Nicholas, you don't need me to
help run the ranch I take it? Do I make my point Boys?"
They looked at each other, then at her and then each other again, both men
grinned, before chorusing, "yes Mother!"
Later in the morning, when Victoria had seen her two older sons off on their
respective travels, won a battle to dress her daughter in a frock and sent both
children off on a picnic with friends, she sat down to morning coffee with
Silas in the kitchen. She loved this warm, homely place and sitting here with
Silas was a comfort in itself.
The servant smiled at her, "I guess I could remove the drinks tray from Mr
Nick's room now if you wish Mrs Barkley?"
Victoria considered for a moment then shook her head decisively, "no
Silas, let it stay. There will be plenty of problems in the coming days for both
my boys, let them keep their...what was it you called it? Their bolt-hole? Yes,
let them keep Nick's room as their bolt-hole."
Silas grinned at her, "very well Ma'am," he glanced around the bright
kitchen, "and we'll keep the kitchen as ours."
THE END