Nick's Saga

Parts 11-12

by nlindabrit

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission.  No copyright infringement is intended by the author.  The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

 

 

 


[In this part of my story, I refer to the theme of a story written by Paula called "Keeping Secrets". I would like to thank Paula for allowing me to do so and to thank her also for her considerable writing talent. If you have not read "Keeping Secrets", you'll find it in the Barkley Library and I heartily recommend this excellent tale.]



 

Part 11A -- Reconciliations


 (While Jarrod awaits Eugene's return, he uses his investigative skills to learn all he can about Nick's new life. But will Jarrod's reconciliation with Gene lead to a new and even deeper rift with Nick?)


Nick had told Jarrod that Eugene and the rest of the searchers should be back at the estancia within a couple of days and the lawyer was glad to hear it, he was to some extent dreading his next encounter with his youngest brother but still didn't want it delayed any longer. To occupy his time and stop himself brooding about Gene, Jarrod decided to use his investigative talents to find out some more facts about the people and events in Nick Barkley's new life.


His first call of the morning was on the bed-ridden Professor Rakovsky, who was installed in great comfort, in a quiet room at the back of the house. The estancia servants were attentively ministering to the aged and ailing man, but he had besides, his own ever-present guardian angel. Jarrod was introduced to Jim, the child-like giant black man who hovered anxiously over his old friend and the lawyer surprised Jim by offering him his hand. After a pause, the tongue-tied Jim shyly shook hands and then retreated to the window seat so he wouldn't have to talk to the elegantly dressed brother of Patrone.


Andre Rakovsky was more than willing to talk to Jarrod and the lawyer could tell at once that besides his obvious academic attainments, the professor was also a cultured and sophisticated man. Jarrod felt impelled to ask how on earth the professor had wound up with Zelda's sadistic freak show.


The old man smiled, "I wish I could tell you Jarrod, in my own country I was a languages professor but I fell foul of...shall we say the powers that be in Poland and came to this country with other persons in a similar plight."


"Was Zelda Polish?"


"Yes she was and so were many of the others, although of course various other people and performers joined us both in your country and here in Mexico."


"Were Marric's parents Polish?"


"I cannot remember, so much has happened and an old man forgets."


"I understand. What did you do in the show Professor?"


"A simple memory act, I have almost total recall of all that I hear, read or see, it was easy to develop this talent into an act."


Jarrod's intelligent eyes were swiftly veiled, so the old man had almost total recall but couldn't remember where Marric's parents were from? Not very likely, now why was the old man concealing Marric's antecedents? Jarrod concluded that as Rakovsky learned to trust his new friends, he would be more forthcoming about the child's history.


"You seem to have done a remarkable job of educating young Marric Sir."


"I found him an apt and very willing pupil, he has a good brain and has always devoured knowledge, he will go far, now that he has a good home and kind friends. I have no fears for his future now."


Again Jarrod returned a bland smiling answer while his mind was busy analysing this new fact, the professor has no fears for Marric's future now, but did before, does this mean the cruelty of Zelda, or is there some other older threat that the old man knows of? Does all of this go back as far as Poland perhaps?


Jarrod could see that the old man was tiring and excused himself, leaving the professor to sleep under the watchful care of Jim.


Jarrod found Nick outside leaning on the corral rail, watching Marric ride a fine looking horse around the corral.


"It looks as if you've done a fine job of teaching Marric how to ride Nick."


Nick shook his head, "not me, the boy could ride when he got here, he's damn good too, I doubt I was this good at his age."


More interesting information, the lawyer stored it away for consideration later, "he must have learned mighty young, presumably before his parents wound up with Zelda's outfit."


Nick shrugged, "I guess so, I tried asking him, but he doesn't seem to remember much before the circus."


Jarrod looked at his brother's red-rimmed eyes and weary face, "Nick are you feeling all right?"


"Sure, just a little tired is all, the boy doesn't sleep too well, he has bad dreams and I've been staying up with him a lot."


"For goodness sake Nick! Why on earth didn't you tell me? I can help you with that."


"Well, you only just got here Jarrod and you had a rough trip," answered Nick defensively.


"No wonder you look so exhausted Nick! I'm spelling you with Marric from now on and that's non-negotiable."


Nick grinned at him, "whatever you say Counselor."


Later in the morning Jarrod shared a pot of coffee with Carlos Castillo. The lawyer liked the estancia foreman, finding him to be a humorous and educated man. He asked Carlos to fill him in on the rescue of Marric and the others from the circus and Carlos did so, smiling reminiscently. "You should have seen Patrone! He was like...like an avenging angel, he rode through the gate, lashing about him with his whip, driving off Zelda's bully boys and offering sanctuary to all those who wished to leave the camp. He was so gentle with the boy too, even though Marric did to him what he did to you on first meeting!"


"I'll be honest with you Carlos, the rescue doesn't surprise me at all, indeed it's exactly what I should expect of my brother, but the adoption of Marric, well that has surprised me. I would have expected Nick to arrange for him to be cared for, nothing more than that."


Carlos nodded, "I can explain Jarrod, because I was there and I saw it. It was as though...as though it was meant to be. Nick was tending to the girl, little Audra-Jane and he straightened out her legs with considerable skill. I suppose years of dealing with newly born foals teaches a man such skills. Marric was watching him, moving slowly nearer to Patrone all the time, until he stood beside him. Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he put his hand on Nick's shoulder. It was a trusting little gesture and Nick turned to him and told him not to worry, that the little girl would be all right. In that moment, they looked into one another's eyes, a look of complete communication and trust. Nick did not choose Marric Senor Jarrod, it was Marric who chose Nick!"


At lunch, Jarrod was again subjected to the full force of Dominica's flirtatious nature and seized the first opportunity he got to smilingly inform the spoiled beauty that she was wasting her time.


Dominica's stormy brown eyes flashed fire, "I do not understand you Jarrod! I have no wish to...to...flirt with you."


"Good, I'm glad to hear that because I'm a very happily married man and besides I wouldn't want to hurt my brother's feelings," answered Jarrod cordially.


For a moment his new sister-in-law glared at him then reluctantly laughed, "Nick said you were clever," she acknowledged.


"Nick said you were a baggage," retorted Jarrod.


Her laughter was genuine, "si, it is true, I am naughty, but I mean no harm, " she kissed her hand to the lawyer, running lightly away to take her afternoon ride.


A rueful smile played around Jarrod's mouth, she might not mean any harm, but he could see that his brother was going to have his hands full with his tempestuous and playful young bride.


That night, Jarrod deliberately stayed up late, reading a book from the well- stocked library of Don Miguel. It was past midnight when the lawyer at last retired to his bedroom and as he was about to undress for bed he heard a sound that froze his blood and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It was a scream, the chillingly terrified scream of a boy's nightmare, not a doubt but that it was Marric who had uttered that dreadful sound and it was swiftly followed by more screams, desperate in their intensity.


Jarrod walked quickly down the passageway to Marric's room and saw Nick enter the room ahead of him. By the time Jarrod got to the doorway, Nick had plucked Marric from his bed and was holding him in his arms, saying over and over in his deep, soothing voice, "it's all right now, it's all right now, you're safe at home Marric, safe at home with Papa." The frightened cries subsided into muffled sobs as Marric twined his arms fast about Nick's neck and buried his tear-drenched face in his new father's neck. Nick paced up and down with the boy, still soothing him in that reassuring tone until the boy stopped crying.


Jarrod came quietly into the room, "does this happen every night Nick?"


"Most nights, yeah, he thinks he's back with Zelda in the circus."


At the mention of Zelda's name Marric shivered and clung even tighter to Nick.


Jarrod held out his arms, "give him to me Nick, you need rest, I'll sit with him now."


Nick hesitated, "I usually tell him stories for an hour or so, until he feels ready to go to sleep."


Jarrod nodded, no wonder Nick was close to exhaustion, if almost every night, his sleep was broken in this fashion. The lawyer smiled at Marric, who was doubtfully watching him from the shelter of Nick's embrace. "Well if that's the case, I'll wager Marric is well and truly tired of the Knights of the Round Table!"


There was an arrested expression in Marric's green eyes, "how...how do you know what stories Papa tells me? His voice was only a whisper.


Jarrod raised a humorous eyebrow, "because I know him! He used to make me read those wretched tales to him every night of his life when he was your age, until I was sick of the sight of them."


Marric smiled, "he did?"


Jarrod reached for the boy and gently took him from Nick, seating himself in the chair beside Marric's bed and wrapping the quilt from the bed around the boy's thin body, holding him gently in his lap. "I tell you what Marric, how about some true stories about a very brave soldier, how would you like that?"


"I don't know," answered the boy truthfully.


"Just one thing though, the soldier's name is a secret, I'll have to whisper it to you."


Intrigued, Marric leaned toward Jarrod and the lawyer whispered a name into his ear. Marric's eyes widened in delighted surprise, "really? Oh yes please Uncle Jarrod!"


Nick stood uncertainly for a second then said, "well, it looks as though you two don't need me any more!"


Marric turned to him, smiling now, "no I want to hear the true stories about the brave soldier, you go to bed Patrone."


Slightly piqued, Nick looked at his brother and read complete understanding in Jarrod's vivid eyes, he relaxed and grinned, "I'll say goodnight then, Marric you be a good boy for Uncle Jarrod, you hear me?"


"Yes Sir, I will, goodnight Papa."


The next day it was Jarrod who looked slightly heavy-eyed at the breakfast table, whilst Nick looked a good deal better for his night's rest. Marric was looking more refreshed than usual and came running in to the breakfast parlour to give Nick his customary hug, turning from him to hug Jarrod as well. He was wreathed in smiles as he sat at the table and even tried to eat a little food. He spoke playfully to Nick, "Patrone...Papa, Uncle Jarrod told me the most wonderful stories!"


"Did he now," smiled Nick. He looked sharply at his brother, "just who is this real-life hero you've been entertaining Marric with?"


Jarrod winked at Marric, "shall we tell him?"


Marric laughed, to Nick it was a lovely sound, one he had begun to wonder if he would ever hear. Marric nodded, "I'll tell him!" He looked adoringly at Nick, "he's the best and bravest soldier that fought in the war, he's you!"


"Me?" Nick was genuinely startled, he glared daggers at Jarrod, "what in the world have you been telling this child?"


Jarrod's smile was full of affection, "I told him true stories, he likes hearing about your life, right Marric?"


"Right Uncle Jarrod!"


Nick squirmed with embarrassment, "well I guess I did my duty, but so did many other men, there's nothing special about me!"


The worshipful glow in Marric's green eyes was undimmed, "well I think you were the best and bravest soldier and I think Uncle Jarrod tells great stories."


Nick ruffled the boy's fair hair, "well tonight Uncle Jarrod's getting some sleep so it's back to the Knights of the Round Table Boy, like it or not!"


"That's all right Papa, I like the Knights too," said Marric, anxious not to offend his hero.


Nick grinned, "less talking and more eating Boy, how the devil am I ever going to fatten you up?"


Jarrod rode with Nick in the mid morning and enjoyed a delicious lunch, after which he thought a little siesta wouldn't do him a mite of harm so he repaired to his bedroom and stretched gratefully out upon his bed, falling deeply asleep almost at once. Consequently, when Eugene Barkley rode in to the estancia courtyard in the middle of the afternoon, his mother was standing beside the marble fountain with Nick, but of Jarrod there was no sign. Gene was torn, on the one hand he was delighted to see his mother, on the other, he was almost too ashamed to face her. Nick had assured the youngest Barkley brother that Jarrod too would come to Mexico, but was he here? It appeared not. Gene felt sick, were all his careful plans about to fall into ruins, surely life couldn't be so cruel!


He came lightly out of the saddle and shook hands with Nick, who at once asked him if they had found any trace of the unfortunate Mormons.


Gene shook his head, "not a trace Nick, sorry, we searched the whole area thoroughly, I promise you we did!"


"I believe you Boy, I don't reckon those folks had a chance of surviving the heat wave anyway."


Gene turned to his mother, not approaching her, just standing dumbly, his pale blue eyes clearly showing his pain, "Mother?" His voice was unsure but her reaction banished his fears completely.


Victoria smiled, opening her arms, "come here Darling," she said simply.


Gene was in her arms before she finished speaking, holding her close, "please forgive me Mother, I know what you must think of me, but I'll make it right, I swear I will."


There were tears in Victoria's eyes and her voice broke in the middle, "you haven't the least notion of how highly I think of you young man, I know very well that you'll put matters right, I expect nothing less of you!"


He met her eyes, "yes Ma'am, I know that and I will."


Gene turned worried eyes on Nick, an unspoken question that Nick hastened to answer, "don't worry, he's here, catching up on a little sleep right now. You go and change, you'll get your chance to talk to Jarrod soon enough."


Gene took him at his word, going upstairs and stripping off his trail-worn clothing and taking a much needed bath. He emerged from this refreshed and started to put on fresh clothes. The warm reception given him by his mother had served to re-assure the youngest Barkley brother somewhat and he was now eager to see and talk to Jarrod, to begin setting matters right as he had promised his mother he would.


He was standing stripped to the waist running a hair brush through his curly hair when he heard a rustle of movement at his bedroom door. Turning he saw Jarrod standing there and was about to greet him, but the smile of welcome died on Gene's lips as he became aware that Jarrod was looking at him with shocked and wrathful eyes. With sudden realisation, Gene knew that Jarrod had been presented with a clear view of his youngest brother's bare back. A back on which five livid red welts stood out in sharp resolution. He took a hasty step forward, saying quickly, "Jarrod, I can explain..."


The lawyer's expression was grim and his voice was stern, "who the devil did that to you?"


"Jarrod. If you'll just let me..."


"Was it Nick? Answer me Eugene, I want the truth!"


"And you'll get it, but I want to tell you..."


"Was it Nick?" Jarrod's thundered demand, hung in the air for a moment.


"Yes but I made him do it I..."


Jarrod wasn't listening, his eyes were a blaze of blue fury as he turned on his heel striding toward the stairs. Gene followed him, his voice urgently pleading, "Jarrod wait! I can explain, I want to tell you...please Jarrod!"


Victoria was in the entrance hall with Dominica and Adrienne and all three stood gazing as the angry figure of Jarrod Barkley came swiftly down the stairs, with Eugene only a few steps behind him, his urgent pleas unheeded by his furious guardian.


Victoria said, "Oh my God!"


Dominica said, "Madre de Dios!"


Adrienne said, "Mon Dieu!"


The three women had spoken in unison and all three smiled as they realised they had all said the same thing at the same time in three different languages.


As Jarrod reached the bottom stair, Nick's tall figure appeared from his study doorway, "what's all the commotion about?"


That was as far as his smiling enquiry got before Jarrod's angry fist connected with his jaw, sending Nick crashing to the polished wooden floor.

 

 


Part 11B

 

"Get up," ordered Jarrod, standing over his brother, fists clenched, clearly ready to continue what he had started.


Nick champed on an invisible bit, forcing himself not to lose his temper, "this isn't what you think Counselor!"


"I said "Get up," thundered Jarrod.


Victoria stepped forward, saying over her shoulder, "leave this to me Girls! I've had a good deal of experience in this sort of thing."


Before she could speak to either of her sons, her youngest was beside her, swiftly showing her the welts on his back, "Jarrod won't listen to me, this is my doing and I want to tell him!"


Victoria nodded curtly, she didn't quite know what was going on yet, but her task was obviously to cool things between Jarrod and Nick before a new feud sprang into life to replace the one so recently resolved.


Nick came to his feet, gingerly feeling his chin, which was already beginning to swell from the mighty punch that Jarrod had delivered. The two men stood only inches apart, faces set in masks of anger, Jarrod's overt, Nick's rigidly held in check.


"What was it Nick, revenge?"


Nick's response was suffused with quiet rage, "cut it out Jarrod! I didn't want to raise a hand to that boy, he talked me into it."


"Poppycock!" was Jarrod's one word response as he turned away from his brother.


Nick knew an almost overwhelming impulse to retaliate with his fists but with a supreme effort he managed to restrain himself and instead hurt Jarrod far more effectively by simply uttering the truth. "I knew it was a lousy idea of Gene's, after all it wasn't your idea was it Counselor? Your way or no way, right?"


Jarrod wheeled around to face his brother and for a moment it seemed as though the two men might actually fight but the Barkley matriarch stepped quickly between her two eldest sons, speaking with crisp coldness, firstly to Jarrod, "I understand that Eugene has something to say to you Jarrod," she said calmly, "it might have been better if you had heard him out before jumping to conclusions!"


Nick drew an angry breath to speak to his brother but was prevented from any outburst by a swift flash of his mother's hazel eyes, "be silent Nicholas," she ordered, turning once again to Jarrod, "I suggest that you accompany Eugene upstairs to his room, where the two of you can talk privately. After all, you did come to Mexico to do that didn't you Jarrod?"


His mother's blighting words did much to cool Jarrod's temper and he smiled faintly, "yes Ma'am, I believe I did at that," he met Nick's hot hazel eyes, his own still austere, "we'll settle matters later Nick."


"You'd better believe it," grated Nick.


Jarrod turned to Gene, still standing shirtless in the hall, anxious blue eyes fixed on his eldest brother's face. Jarrod's stern expression softened, the boy looked much better than the last time he had seen him. Then, weeks of dissolute living had made him seem pale and haggard, now after the days out on the trail, he looked fit and tanned.


The lawyer walked toward the staircase, "a private talk then Gene?"


Gene nodded, casting a worried look at Nick and his mother.


Victoria's smile reassured him, "go ahead Eugene."


Victoria turned to Nick, "in the meantime Nick, I think you and I also need a little private talk, excuse us Girls."


To the astonishment of Dominica and Adrienne, Nick meekly followed his mother into his study, closing the door behind him, but not before turning to wink at his wife and her friend.


In his study, Nick tried briefly to justify himself and then wisely shut up as his mother ripped into him for taking a whip to his youngest brother.


"Nick you know very well that Jarrod takes his duties as Eugene's guardian very seriously, you had no right to usurp his position in this fashion!"


"Oh come on Mother, it isn't as if I haven't given the kid his licks a dozen times in the past!"


"That is quite different, on those occasions, Jarrod was away from home and had left Gene in your charge, this is not the same thing and you know it Nick."


She went on in this fashion and Nick let her talk for some time before raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, "I know, I know you're right, it isn't my place to punish him, but believe it or not Mother, the boy asked me to do it!"


"I know that Nick, Gene told me so himself."


Nick's voice rose to a yell, "then what are you giving me a hard time for?"


Victoria made an effort to calm herself, "why did you do as he asked Nick, tell me please?"


The rancher thought, pacing around the study, before turning to face his mother again.


"I guess because I was putting myself in Gene's place a bit. I remember times when I was younger than him and I'd done something or other that I knew would make Father think pretty badly of me. I've actually asked for punishment myself in the past you know! It's a way of cleansing yourself, of putting the bad deed behind you and moving on." Nick ran a hand through his thick dark brown hair, "I don't know if I can explain it to you Mother, but when the boy told me how badly he feels about letting Jarrod down and how much he wants to reach an understanding with him...well...all I can say is, I knew exactly what he meant."


Victoria nodded, "is this what Gene is going to try to explain to Jarrod, that he wanted to put all his past behaviour behind him and move forward with his life?"


"Yes Ma'am." Nick sighed, "I doubt if Jarrod will understand it either though."


His mother smiled, cupping a hand to his lean cheek, "don't be too sure about that Darling, if Gene talks to his brother frankly, I think Jarrod will understand him very well."


Nick was sceptical, "you do?"


The Barkley matriarch smiled, "your father understood you and Jarrod extremely well you know Nick. He was a very formidable man at times of course, but he knew that neither you nor Jarrod was in the least afraid of him. What both of you were afraid of was letting him down, isn't that so?"


Nick smiled, "yes it is," he replied quietly.


Victoria sat on the settee, "I think Gene has always found Jarrod a hard act to follow, both through school and college and I think his anxiety about making the grade has led to his kicking over the traces as he has."


Nick came and sat beside her, "I agree, Gene isn't like Jarrod or me, in that he hasn't ever had a clear idea of what he wants out of life."


His mother squeezed his hand, "that's just what I've been thinking Nick. Gene is the only one of my children and I'm including Heath in that statement, who doesn't have a fixed goal in his life, he's less sure of himself than any of you boys, or even his sister."


Nick's anxious hazel eyes searched his mother's face, "do you think the boy has a prayer of explaining any of that to Jarrod?"


Victoria smiled, "oh yes I think so, if I've spent the journey down here thinking about Eugene, you can depend upon it, Jarrod has been doing the same. I think he'll both understand and forgive him too."


Nick sighed, "you may be right Mother, the question is, will he also forgive me?"


Victoria re-joined Dominica and Adrienne after complimenting her son on not letting his fists do his talking for him for a change! She had marveled at Nick's restraint, further evidence of what she had already begun to realize, that her volatile and hot-headed Nicholas was changing a little. Still stubborn and opinionated and as fearless as ever, marriage and fatherhood were nevertheless softening his roughest edges. At long last he was maturing somewhat, thinking before he acted, much less impulsive than he had always been hitherto.


Dominica greeted her anxiously, "you...have not quarreled with Nick then Victoria?"


Her mother-in-law laughed slightly, "no Dear, I'll leave that to you," she retorted.


Dominica smiled, "Nick was so happy to be re-united with his brother, I do hope they won't fight again about Gene."


Victoria shook her head, "try not to worry Dominica, I can't guarantee that it will all be all right, but I hope so, I think Nick understands Jarrod, what we have to hope now is that Jarrod can make sense of Eugene's actions."


Adrienne had been standing in silent thought, her eyes fixed on the stairs which Jarrod and Gene had just ascended. Her reverie was broken by the butler Luis, who, with a courteous bow, handed her a small jar. "The ointment you prepared for Senor Eugene is ready now Mademoiselle, you asked me to bring it to you, when it had solidified."


"Yes, merci Luis."


Adrienne brightened as a sudden idea occurred to her, she headed swiftly for the stairs. "This is for Gene's back, I will take it up to his room."


Victoria's voice stopped her, "I don't think you should interrupt them Adri, Jarrod and Gene need some privacy with one another to talk things over."


Adri looked back smiling, her luminous eyes bright, "I understand, but it is an intimate thing non? To apply ointment to the back of another, perhaps Jarrod would like to do that for his little brother?"


Victoria understood her at once and nodded thoughtfully, "yes Dear, perhaps you're right, do take it up to them."


Adri turned and ran lightly up the stairs.


Dominica and Victoria walked into the living room and sat on the settee, Dominica smiled, "Adri is very young, but very wise also, she is usually right about people in my experience." She looked diffidently at her mother-in-law, "it must seem strange to you, that my father took Adri into our family so...so completely. It is just that almost from the first moment we met, she and I have been such dear friends to one another."


"It doesn't surprise me at all Dominica, I only met Adri myself a couple of days ago but already I count her as a friend and a valuable one at that. I quite understand how close the two of you are and I think Nick does too."


Dominica's expressive eyes burned with her love for her husband, "he has been so good to me, so kind and I drive him wild with my antics, I know I do! You...you must regret his hasty marriage Victoria?"


It was not the first time she had expressed such feelings and Victoria responded now as she had in the past, "I see absolutely nothing in Nick's actions to regret. He is obviously deeply in love with you and clearly happy in his marriage. It's equally clear to me that he is happy here in Santa Alva, I'd be lying to you Dominica if I said I wasn't going to miss my son. He has been such a comfort to me in the years since his father died, but I find I cannot regret anything which has made Nick so happy and contented as he is with you."


There were tears on Dominica's cheeks, "I...am not a ...good wife all the time," she confessed.


Victoria patted her cheek, "you most certainly are not! But you are also not a bad wife though and I think Nick is man enough to cope with you Honey. Although it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't put you over his knee one day soon!"


Dominica giggled, "he threatens to do so, especially if I dare to ride Royale again!" She looked earnestly at Victoria, "then...you are not angry...about our marriage I mean?"


"On the contrary Dominica, I see a change in my son, a change for the better, perhaps coping with you and with the children is mellowing my young hot- head, if that's so, then it's no bad thing." Victoria looked at her daughter-in- law, "can I ask you something Sweetheart?"


"Of course Victoria."


"Do you mind about Nick adopting the children?"


"Not at all! I saw at once how swiftly the bond between Nick and Marric had sprung up, it was uncanny, as though...as though fate meant for them to be father and son. Also, if ever two little ones suffered, these two have! How could I refuse help to such as they."


Victoria hugged Dominica, "your answer says everything about you that I needed to know Honey, you are the wife I always hoped my son might have, Bless you!"

 

 


Part 11C

 

Eugene had led the way up the stairs, affording Jarrod another viewing of the five welted stripes across his back. The boy strode toward his bedroom door, without so much as a backward glance to see if his brother was following him. Flinging open the door and entering the room in hasty anger, moving immediately toward the window as far away from Jarrod as he could physically be. Gene stood facing his guardian, his whole posture aggressive and confrontational, as the lawyer's anger had cooled in the last few minutes, so Gene's own wrath had built until now, he was rigid with it and his usually gentle eyes were afire with his rage.


Jarrod's intelligent gaze took in the signals of the younger man's feelings and he tried for a light and amiable note when he spoke. "Well, I guess we have a little privacy to have that talk now?"


"To talk?" Gene's eyebrows were sceptically raised, "I wanted to talk to you earlier Jarrod and you turned your back on me! So when you say a talk, tell me, what exactly do you mean by that?"


"I'm sorry?" Jarrod was genuinely puzzled.


"Are we actually going to talk Jarrod? Or do you really mean that you'll talk and I'll listen, is this going to be a conversation or a lecture?"


"I didn't come here to lecture you Gene," said Jarrod quietly.


"Well you sure as hell didn't come here to listen to me!"


Jarrod tried to keep his voice friendly, smiling slightly as he addressed his wrathful brother and ward again, "you know people often say that you have my brains, but I reckon it's Nick's temper you've got!"


Gene's only response to this pleasantry was a deep scowl.


Adrienne's gentle knock on the open bedroom door was a welcome distraction to Jarrod who wasn't quite sure how to calm his youngest brother's sudden rage. Both men stood looking at the girl and she smiled saying apologetically, "please forgive me for disturbing you." She proffered the ointment jar she carried to Jarrod, "this salve is for Gene's back, I thought perhaps you would apply it?"


The lawyer instantly understood her purpose and smiled gratefully at her, "I'd be glad to, thank you Adrienne."


She went away at once, devoutly hoping that her interruption had been helpful, not harmful.


Gene strode over to his brother, holding out his hand for the jar, "I can do that for myself," he snapped.


"No, I'll do it, turn around," ordered Jarrod quietly.


For a long moment, he thought Eugene was going to repudiate his help as the younger man stood glaring at him, fists clenched at his sides and his jaw very set.


Jarrod tried again, "look Gene, if I jumped to conclusions earlier and didn't give you an opportunity to explain, I apologize." He smiled ruefully, "I've just accused you of having Nick's temper, well perhaps I do too."


The rigid set of Eugene's face softened a little and the angry flare of his eyes cooled as well.


Jarrod seized the moment, "now for heaven's sake, unclench those fists, stop glaring at me and let me take care of those welts, will you?"


A huge sigh escaped the youngest Barkley brother and with a resigned shrug, he turned around and leaned his hands on the dresser in front of him. Jarrod unscrewed the top of the little jar and smeared some of the salve it contained onto his hand. He set the jar down on the dresser and started to apply the salve carefully to the angry welts on his brother's back. He was extremely gentle but despite this, Gene had to sharply draw in his breath several times as the stripes on his back stung under the treatment Jarrod was giving them.


At length, Jarrod replaced the cap on the jar, saying, "there, that should help quite a bit I'd say. Young Adrienne seems to have quite a gift for healing doesn't she?"


Gene straightened up and gingerly flexed his shoulder muscles, "yes she does, and you're right, it helps a lot. Thanks Jarrod."


Jarrod silently blessed Adrienne Derval for her accurate intuition about the salve. The physical intimacy of Jarrod's application of the ointment, had served to remind the younger brother of the excellent relationship that he had always had with his eldest brother and guardian in the past. Their enforced closeness had dissipated his rage and he was again ready to face and talk to his mentor and to try to put the recent past behind him.


Gene opened a drawer, extracting from it a fresh shirt and he put it on, saying as he fastened the buttons, "sorry Jarrod, I guess I did lose my temper before, for a minute there it must have felt like you were talking to Nick!"


Jarrod smiled, "we both lost our tempers, you with me and me with Nick! Tell you what, how about we start over and try to do a better job this time?"


"Let's do just that Jarrod, it's what I want."


"It's what I want too Gene, it's why I'm here."


The brothers sat side by side on the bed and Jarrod smiled, "It's wonderful to see you looking so well now! You know Gene, I was so angry with you the last time we met, I completely failed to notice how ill you looked, I should have spotted it, I'm sorry."


Gene spoke earnestly, "understand me Jarrod, I have no intention of trying to excuse my behaviour because of that fever, there is no way I'm trying to do that!"


Jarrod laid a pacific hand on Gene's shoulder, "I know that, believe me I do, but nevertheless you were ill and I want you to know that I haven't taken anything you said then too much to heart."


Gene's face was scarlet with shame and his voice was low and subdued, "I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for the things I said to you in San Francisco Jarrod."


"Well you'll have to Young Man, because I've forgiven them."


"I let you down...again," said Gene sadly, "I promised you there'd be no more gambling and that I'd buckle down to my studies and I broke my word."


Jarrod's hand tightened on Gene's shoulder, "tell me why."


Gene shook his head, "I wish I could Jarrod. I started out for Berkeley full of good intentions, I meant what I promised you, I was determined to do well and surprise you, surprise everybody. Then I fell in with the old crowd and it all began again, the endless comparing of me to you, the jibes about being a goody-goody, all the usual drivel!"


"But if you know it's drivel, why respond to it? Why fall into the trap of believing it?"


Gene shrugged helplessly, "I can't explain what I can't understand myself! I only know that I used to feel trapped."


"Trapped?"


"Yes, as if my whole life were mapped out for me and I had nothing to do but follow the directions. I felt like I had no choices to make, no freedom to do what I wanted."


Jarrod shook his head, "I don't understand, all your life the family has always told you to follow your own star, I don't recall a single instance of anyone trying to make you do something, or stop you doing what you wanted to do. I don't believe Father ever did so and I don't think either Nick or I have ever treated you like that, have we?"


"If you're asking me that now Jarrod, I can honestly say no, but I'm telling you how I used to feel. I was...I don't know...sort of lost inside, I didn't know who I was or what I wanted to be. It's a hard thing feeling that way, you get so you don't care any more. Not about yourself, not about anything. That's my excuse for all the stupid and hurtful things I've done these past two years, well three years really, because it all started with Heath. He was the first person I hurt with my conduct.


Jarrod trod carefully, for this was a tricky subject, "I know that you felt pushed out when Heath joined the family, perhaps especially by Heath's growing friendship with Nick."


Gene raised honest eyes to Jarrod's face, "I treated Heath like dirt," he said simply. "I blamed him for everything that was wrong with me and for every negative feeling I had. I tried so hard to make life difficult for him, I tried every trick I could to provoke him into a response. He must have thought I was a spoiled brat, I bet he wanted to kick my arrogance right out of me, but he didn't do it. He was more patient and understanding with me than I deserved. He got on good terms with me, despite myself! You know Jarrod, Heath is a remarkable man."


The lawyer nodded, "that he is Gene, that he is."


Gene got up and moved to stand at the window, looking out over the bustling courtyard. "After that, things were all right for a time, I got to know Heath and learned to love him as a brother, I found I had made a new friend too. I can sometimes talk to Heath where it might be hard to tell you or Nick something."


Jarrod nodded, "I can understand that, Heath has never been your mentor, not like Nick and I."


"That's it, I've learned over these last three years to trust Heath, it's almost the only good thing I have done in that time."


Jarrod rose and came to stand beside his brother, "don't be so hard on yourself Son please," he said gently.


Gene turned to face his guardian, "damn it Jarrod! I should be hard on myself. I'm not Heath, if I'd had a lousy start in life like the one he had, maybe there'd be an excuse for my actions, but I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth! I've had it easy all my days, all I had to do was work hard and behave myself and I couldn't even do that!" He broke off, his voice thick with self-loathing.


Jarrod gripped his younger brother's arms, turning him so that they stood facing one another and he spoke urgently, "now you listen to me Eugene! You are always your own harshest critic, you castigate yourself for your thoughts and your actions but you never give yourself a break. I'm not defending what you've done. You've neglected your studies, you've frittered away a fortune gambling and you've let mother and the rest of the family down too. But for heaven's sake at least try and be fair to yourself, there are excuses for you and you most definitely have not had it easy all your days, not by a long chalk!"


Gene shook his head, "I don't understand Jarrod, what excuses and in what way have I not had it easy?"


Jarrod put one hand on the back of Gene's neck and squeezed gently, "well would you say that a little boy of nine who saw his father gunned down in front of him and who then had to sit there, covered in that father's blood for hours on end had always had it easy?"


Gene tried to shake off Jarrod's caressing hand, "what happened to father doesn't excuse all that I've done!"


Jarrod held onto him, "no, not excuse, but it does explain a lot. Don't try to deny it Gene, not even to yourself and especially not to me! I'm the man who had to watch you stay dumb with shock for days, the man who held you through the screaming nightmares..."


Gene wrenched free of Jarrod's iron grip, eyes wet with tears, "stop it Jarrod, for God's sake don't! I can't re-live it, I can't!"


Jarrod breathed deeply, calming his emotions and once more laid a gentle hand on his youngest brother's shoulder, "I don't want to dredge all that pain up again, but you have to face the fact that what happened to you deeply traumatized you. The experience was so dreadful that it has coloured your thinking and affected your decisions ever since. You need to face that, to accept the damage that was inflicted on you that day and to move on from it. Unless and until you do, there is no hope for you in the future, believe it Gene."


Eugene's eyes were wet with tears, "I'll try Jarrod, I promise I'll try, " he said in a shaken voice.


The two men sat down again and Jarrod gave his brother time to quell the distress that the mention of Tom Barkley's brutal murder had aroused in him. When Gene was calm again, Jarrod gave the boy's arm a friendly punch, "so why the whip Son, tell me that? I need to understand."


Gene stared at the floor, it was a long time before he spoke, "you've always been so good to me Jarrod, not just raising me after father died, being my guardian and all that stuff, but always. When I was real little, I remember how much time you spent, helping me learn to read, to do my schoolwork, oh lots of things. Nick too, he taught me to ride, to shoot, all the things I never got a chance to do with Father I guess. I've never had a damn thing but kindness and love from either one of you and how do I repay you? I drag the Barkley name through the dirt! What's more, I do it at Berkeley where your own reputation is spotless. I feel really bad about it Jarrod, about all of it, I can't tell you how low I feel. I badly wanted you to know that, you in particular and for that, we needed this talk. I thought if I got Nick to take a whip to me, then the punishment side of things would be over and done, out of the way. Now I know you wouldn't have whipped me and I didn't make Nick do it to please you. I asked him to do it for my own sake. Because I needed some kind of retribution to let me feel clean again. Please believe me Jarrod, if it hadn't happened, I couldn't begin to try putting the past behind me and I couldn't begin to move forward. Am I making any sense to you?"


"Yes you are, but the whip wasn't necessary Son, believe me it wasn't."


Gene's clear blue eyes looked frankly into Jarrod's, "it was necessary to me," he said flatly.


Gene stood and wandered over to the dresser, he propped himself on the corner of it and smiled waveringly at Jarrod. "I had a hell of a time convincing Nick to do it and even when he finally did, his heart wasn't in it! He only gave me five strokes and they were just love-taps."


Jarrod raised an eyebrow, "judging by the state of your back those were a little more than love-taps!"


Gene shook his head, "no really, it was a token whipping nothing more than that. All I can tell you is that I felt better after it. I felt able to look to the future instead of dwelling on the past. I had no right to put the pressure on Nick that I did, but it mattered to me very much, because what you and I are doing now matters so much and I couldn't see my way to the one without the other." He looked levelly at his guardian, "my only worry now is that I've caused a rift between you and Nick, I'm hoping you won't let that happen Jarrod."


The lawyer rose and came to his ward, he put his hands on Gene's shoulders, "I won't fall out with Nick, I promise you and I do understand all that you've told me. I may not agree with your methods but I do understand your purpose. As far as I'm concerned, the past is over and done, what I want now is for you to take time to consider the future. I want you to do that slowly and rationally and when you have, we'll talk again and you can tell me what your plans are. Is that fair?"


Gene reached for Jarrod hugging him warmly and saying sincerely, "Yes Sir, more than fair and thank you Jarrod!"


Jarrod knew that he would have to mend fences with Nick as soon as possible but he badly needed a breathing space after his emotionally charged talk with Eugene and so he sought the solitude of his own room for an hour or so. He sipped thoughtfully at a tall glass of whisky and thought over all that Gene had said to him. A smile lightened his solemn countenance, damn it, he thought, I'm proud of that boy! There's a real sense of purpose here, a genuine determination to start over and to do better. I can't ask more of him than that.


Having come to this satisfactory conclusion about Eugene and finished his whisky, Jarrod decided it was more than time to confront Nick. He found his brother outdoors, examining the foreleg of the magnificent mare Royale, to determine the degree of lameness the lovely creature had sustained through Dominica's impetuous riding. Nick straightened as he saw Jarrod approaching, turning to face his brother, his own expression solemn and watchful. The lawyer took the initiative, smiling ruefully at Nick, "according to our little brother I've ripped up at you very unfairly, so I guess I owe you a free shot Nick," Jarrod presented his chin and waited for Nick's reaction.


Nick sighed with relief, "I don't think so Counselor, I think it's me who owes you a free shot," he felt his bruised jaw gingerly, "although come to think of it, maybe you've already had that!"


Jarrod smiled and held out his hand, "Pax Nick?"


"Pax Jarrod," replied Nick, shaking his brother's hand very willingly.


The rancher ran a hand through his unruly hair, "I guess I was wrong to give in to the boy, but I knew what he was going through Jarrod, I've had similar feelings myself in the past and I knew he'd feel a whole lot better, even if his back did hurt like the devil!"


"I understand Nick and I can see that you didn't overdo it. If it was designed to help the boy turn a corner and get on with his life, I'd say it's succeeded pretty well."


Nick was patently relieved, "I'm glad you see it that way Jarrod, the last thing I wanted was for you and I to start another war!"


"I don't want that either Nick!"


Nick slapped his brother's back, "how about a cold beer Counselor?"


"Lead me to it Brother Nick, lead me to it.

 

 


Part 12A -- Fatherhood


(After all that has happened Jarrod Barkley doesn't think his brother Nick can possibly spring any more surprises on him, but Nick has one more shock in store for his brother and it will take all Counselor Barkley's powers of persuasion to make Nick see things his way!)


On Sunday afternoon Jarrod, Nick and Eugene Barkley went fishing together. They had managed to do so alone, Marric was off riding on his own, revelling in the sense of freedom he felt whenever he was on a horse. Carlos was escorting the ladies to the Mission and so the three brothers had the luxury of an afternoon together with nothing to do but laze and fish. The three men sat contentedly on the riverbank, conversation was desultory and there were long comfortable silences, during which each brother was occupied by his own particular thoughts.


Eugene was heartily glad to be reconciled with his eldest brother and guardian, he was facing the future with more optimism than he had dreamed might be possible. His health was steadily improving and he was eager to return to his studies. He had meant what he said when he assured Jarrod that things were going to change. The simple truth was that he actually felt different now. It was as though he had been through some sort of catharsis, a cleansing experience, which had left him feeling like a new and different person. The recent years when he had felt lost and lonely, his resentment of Heath's arrival, his misbehaviour, all were behind him now and his confidence was almost visibly growing. He was quietly determined to atone for the past and to make Jarrod and indeed the whole family proud of him. No promises this time, he thought, no words, I'm just going to do it and show them all what I'm really made of.


Nick was experiencing a mixture of emotions, torn between the joy of being re-united with his beloved mother and his reconciliation with Jarrod and doubts about the direction in which his destiny now seemed to lie. It was bliss to be here with two of his three brothers beside him, for Nick's sense of family was strong, indeed it was one of the principle tenets by which he lived. He missed Heath very badly, in fact he had thought deeply about his relationship with his younger brother in the months they had been apart. He had come to realize the measure of the change which Heath's arrival three years earlier had wrought in his own life.


Prior to the dramatic inclusion of Heath in the family, Nick had run the Barkley ranch alone. He had begun to do so in the difficult days following his father's murder and it had been a daunting task for a young man of barely twenty one. He had risen to meet the challenge and was proud of his achievement but he was also honest enough to admit that his had been a lonely task. Heath had changed all that, over the three years in which they had run the ranch together Nick had learned to share his power and also his life. In Heath he had found a companion and a kindred spirit. Nick prided himself on his work ethic but Heath worked even harder! The quieter, steadier younger brother rarely disputed Nick's authority but would subtly deter him from an unwise course of action and always he gave Nick his steadfast loyalty. With a slight shock, Nick realized that he depended on Heath's partnership with him, perhaps more than he had realized.


It was hard to believe that three short years ago, he had not even heard of him, now the prospect of semi-permanent separation from Heath was a depressing thought.


Yet, Nick was not sorry he had come to Mexico, no Sir! He was blissfully happy in his marriage, even though he was ruefully aware that he had wed himself to a spitfire as spoiled as she was willful. Life promised to be interesting to say the least, not that Nick doubted either Dominica's love for him, or his own ability to tame her. He liked this place too, the estancia could be profitable again if properly run, Nick had no doubt about that, he would enjoy pulling it all together. But, the estancia was not the ranch, it was not the land that Nick had toiled on with his adored father, it was not his birthright!


There were the children too, sometimes Nick couldn't believe that he had actually adopted two kids! It was a crazy thing to have done, yet he had known with every fibre of his being that it was the right thing to do. He and Marric had looked into each other's eyes and Nick had sensed that he was the man, perhaps the only man who could help this unusual and tormented child. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, Nick was beginning to have second thoughts about Marric, but what he was going to do about those doubts, he didn't yet know.


He shrugged his strong shoulders, it was too beautiful an afternoon and he was too contented in the company of his brothers to spoil his fun by any more soul-searching, smiling, he reached for the beer-jug.


Jarrod too was considering Nick's future. His mother's distress at the prospect of Nick's leaving the ranch for good had affected the lawyer deeply, for he hated to see Victoria upset. He knew that she was very attached to each and every one of her children, including Heath, for she made no distinction between him and the children to whom she had given birth. But Nick? Well there was no denying that she and her volatile second son shared a special closeness. Nick was his mother's big noisy boy, she knew how much he valued her wisdom and could check his formidable temper more effectively than any other person. She leaned on him too, relying on his solid and comforting presence at the ranch. Jarrod was afraid that not even Heath could fill the void in Victoria's life if Nick settled in Mexico for good.


The other major topic occupying Jarrod's thoughts was the troubled young boy that Nick had decided to adopt as a son. It was easy, watching young Marric happily ride his horse around the estancia, or leaning affectionately over his sister's crib, to forget just what deep and difficult problems this child still had. It was one thing to rescue a child like Marric from torment, it was another and much tougher thing to rehabilitate him completely. Jarrod had learned enough about Marric's treatment in the circus to know that only the most courageous and resourceful of boys could possibly have survived it. Marric had it seemed, not only fended for himself but had also taken care of the little girl he had adopted as his sister and his two friends, the old scholar, Professor Rakovsky and the feeble-minded gentle giant Jim. As far as Jarrod could ascertain, Marric, armed with a knife had defended this strange little group of people and made sure they got enough of a share of the food to sustain their existence.


This was all very well and indeed commendable, the trouble was that Marric was finding it difficult to adjust to normal life. He would unhesitatingly pull a knife on anyone he saw as a threat, so much so that Nick, fearful of the possible consequences, had confiscated his knife. However, Marric appeared to have no difficulty in re-arming himself, he almost always had a knife whenever he felt he needed one, even though Nick promptly took them off him whenever he caught him! Marric had a knack for theft and of slipping in and out of places unseen, so checking his tendencies was a herculean task.


Jarrod considered it little short of miraculous that Marric's basic nature was so decent. The boy stole knives but only because he saw a weapon as essential, he was not intrinsically dishonest. He was capable of affection too, it would have been understandable if the boy had been an emotional cripple but he most definitely was not. From the first, Nick had lavished affection on the child, showering him with hugs and kisses, his instinct telling him that this demonstrative love was what the boy needed the most. Jarrod was inclined to agree, he had seen how eagerly Marric lapped up Nick's caresses and the lawyer too was openly affectionate with his new nephew.


Feeding him up was a daunting task, for unlike most children Marric rarely appeared to be hungry. He ate because Nick urged him to, but he seemed to have little appetite and left to himself would go without either food or water for prolonged periods of time. This of course was a legacy of his cruel treatment at Zelda's hands. She had used the wicked iron mask to subdue and train him and the protracted periods without food and water had made the boy used to privation.


The mask had gone now, Jarrod had been there when Nick had led Marric into the barn to watch as the evil thing was smashed into pieces and then melted down in the forge, to utterly destroy any trace of it. It had gone to Jarrod's heart to watch the boy shiver and cling tightly to Nick's hand as the mask was obliterated, it had given the lawyer an insight into the enormity of the problems besetting this child. He recalled how, as the mask vanished forever into the bubbling hot furnace, Marric's eyes had rolled back in his head and he had lost consciousness. Nick had been unsurprised, scooping the boy up in his arms and he had explained to Jarrod that this had already happened several times. "It seems as though, whenever something he finds upsetting happens, he just faints away like this. I have to admit Big Brother, It worries the hell out of me!"


Jarrod had done his best to reassure Nick, offering the opinion that as Marric adjusted to his new life, the faints would cease. After such an episode Marric would sleep as though stunned, often for many hours and when he awoke, he couldn't always remember what had triggered the fainting fit.


There had been other evidence of the difficulties Marric faced adapting to his new life, Jarrod had seen one for himself only a day or two ago. He had been attracted to the back of the corrals in the courtyard by the noise of children laughing and jeering and had found Marric, surrounded by a bunch of kids, the children of the farm-hands. The youngsters were taunting Marric, chanting ‘Little Wolf, Little Wolf' over and over until, driven mad by the persecution, Marric had done what they expected and wanted him to do. Rushing at them, growling like the boy-wolf they believed him to be, he sank his teeth into the nearest tormentor. Jarrod had intervened, dragging Marric off and swiftly sending the children about their business. Afterward he and Victoria had calmed and soothed Marric, talking to him at length about what had happened. He had been too angry to listen at first, but as his rage ebbed away, he had broken his heart crying, ashamed of his descent into animalistic behaviour. It had been Victoria who had grasped him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. Jarrod could remember her words clearly, "now you listen to me Marric Barkley, you are not a wolf you are a boy and a good boy at that, I want you to say to yourself over and over, I am Marric Barkley and I'm a good boy. What's more Marric, I want you to believe it!"


Marric still mistrusted women, although he was beginning to form good relationships with Dominica, Adrienne and Victoria, especially Victoria. He listened attentively to her impassioned words and nodded, gripping his lip between his teeth and forcing himself to stem his tears. "I...I'll try Grandmother."


He had tried and continued to try, but it was a game with the other children to do their utmost to provoke him and every day brought new and harder challenges for little Marric to face. Jarrod was beginning to be very attached to the child himself and so he concentrated his considerable intellect on the problems Marric had and tried to discover solutions to them. He glanced over at Nick now and brought up the vexed question of Marric's need for a knife. Nick had taken yet another knife from the boy only this morning, after finding him threatening the estancia children with it because they had taunted him.


"Nick, I've been thinking about the knife business, I think you ought to take Marric into Santa Alva and buy him a knife of his own."


"What! Jarrod, are you crazy?"


"Hear me out Nick, if you buy him a really nice knife, he'll respect it more and he won't be tempted to steal one all the time."


"All right, I can see that but you know I can't trust him with a knife, he's going to hurt someone if we're not careful."


"I'm not so sure Nick, I think being unarmed makes Marric feel insecure, more likely to hurt someone than if he feels he isn't without protection."


Nick considered his brother's words in frowning silence then glanced at Gene, "what do you say?"


Gene thought for a moment, "you know Nick I think maybe Jarrod's right, perhaps you should try it."


The rancher brooded for several minutes and eventually a big sigh escaped him, "you know Counselor, I think you may be right too. If I tell Marric the knife is for defence only and that if he attacks anyone with it I'll take it away, it might just work."


Jarrod's voice was warmly encouraging, "give it a try Nick, if I'm right, there's nothing to fear from giving him the knife."


"All right, I'll take him into town tomorrow."


Gene sat up and re-baited his hook, "Nick when are we searching the remaining area for the Mormons?"


Nick winked at Jarrod, "who's this we Kid?"


Gene's disappointed face was almost ludicrous, "you've got to let me come! I led the last search myself, why can't I come?" Too late he saw Nick's grin and launched himself at his older brother, who parried his attack without effort.


"Nick you...you devil!"


"Easy there Boy! Now you know you can't hit me when I won't let you so quit it!"


Jarrod's voice was amused, "now I don't want to have to snitch on you both to Mother so settle down."


The lawyer looked at Nick, "is there just this one area left to search Nick?"


"Yeah, not that I think we're going to find them alive, but it baffles me that there isn't even a trace, it's a spooky business altogether."


"I'll come too Nick, if I may."


"Glad to have you Jarrod, I'll leave Carlos and half the men here, doesn't do to take chances, but I'd like it if you and Gene and I went together.

 

 


Part 12B

 

Victoria and Mother Felicia toured the Mission together, the elderly nun found she liked the Barkley matriarch and Victoria, admiring the efficient little hospital and the sterling work that was done in it, found herself returning the compliment, she could both like and respect the redoubtable Mother Superior.


"I want to thank you Mother Felicia, for taking such excellent care of little Audra-Jane, I'm quite certain you and the sisters here are the reason she's still alive."


The old nun accepted the compliment, "we do pride ourselves on our skill here in our hospital, but I fear the little treasure is not yet out of the woods."


"I'm afraid you're right, the girls and I have tried everything we know to encourage her to eat more but she seems almost completely uninterested in food, as indeed is young Marric."


Mother Felicia was curious, "how have you fared with the boy? I see no battle scars on your arms."


Victoria laughed, "no, Marric is developing a healthy respect for his grandmother, as yet he hasn't bitten me, although Dominica and Adrienne have both suffered. I feel so sorry for him, his own behaviour devastates him, it's nothing short of a miracle that he understands the difference between right and wrong and isn't just a conscienceless animal, as that evil woman no doubt intended him to be."


Felicia smiled at her guest, "the miracle is your son," she said sincerely. God brought Nicholas Barkley to this place to do His work, of that I have no doubt whatever. My nuns went with him to that hateful camp and saw the way your son drove evil out of this peaceful place. He offered help and care to every poor creature that needed it and rescued those two unfortunate little children. We are a poor Mission here, it is Nicholas who has paid for all, without him, much less could have been done and far fewer helped into new lives. As his mother I bless and thank you for nurturing such a son, he is a credit to you and to his name."


Victoria smiled dazzlingly, "thank you Mother Felicia, your words mean a great deal to me and being re-united with my son has given me joy. Seeing the suffering that circus inflicted, it is hard to believe that those affected by it can hope to find peace or blessing anywhere."


"I should like to introduce you to the newest of my novices, she is proof that blessing and redemption are possible even for the most afflicted, please follow me."


Victoria followed the nun to a sunlit enclosed garden at the rear of the Mission and the two women entered its peaceful tranquility through a wooden gate set into its high walls. As they closed the gate softly behind them, they could hear a sweet clear voice raised in song. It was a hymn, sung with glad joy, by a person clearly contented and happy in this lovely place. Felicia indicated a bulky form, kneeling before a patch of freshly turned earth, a trowel in her hand, the figure wore the simple white robe and wimple of the novitiate. "Come and meet Sister Agnes, who was formerly Katya, of the Circus of Human Despair."


As they walked toward her, Agnes broke off her song and turned to see who approached her. She made to rise from the ground.


"Don't get up my Child," called Felicia, "I wish only to introduce Patrone's mother to you, Mrs. Barkley, this is Sister Agnes, who is my newest novice, she intends to take her vows in due course and join us here at the Mission. As you can see she is a most talented gardener and has a God-given talent for creating beauty."


"Indeed she does," agreed Victoria enthusiastically, she extended her hand to the kneeling figure. "I'm very pleased to meet you Sister, your new vegetable patch here seems very well stocked!"


Agnes rose with as much grace as her awkward body-shape would permit and shook Victoria's hand. Her voice was soft and serene, "it is fertile earth and nature will do the rest, I love to grow things and Mother Felicia has been kind enough to say I may always tend the gardens here."


The superior nun smiled, "Mother Felicia knows a skilled gardener when she spots one," she said dryly.


Agnes turned her clear gaze on Victoria, "Patrone is your son Ma'am?"


"Yes he is."


There were tears sparkling on the young novice nun's eyelashes, "then God bless you Ma'am for giving birth to him, he saved me from despair and certain death and brought me to God's house. I owe him more than I can ever repay." She wiped away her tears, "every lovely thing I grow here will be token of my thanks to him and to God."


As the two women left the garden, they could hear Agnes again as she resumed her joyful singing and returned to her vegetables. Victoria was visibly shaken by her meeting with the girl, she glanced sideways at her companion. "Is that the poor young girl with...with"


Felicia nodded, "she has a second pair of shoulders and a sightless head, it is her burden and a heavy one it has been to her. The robes of the novitiate hide her deformity as well as is needful. In her country of origin, Poland, she wanted to be a nun but was refused." The wise old eyes of the nun darkened with her wrath, "an unchristian act, to repudiate a devout girl because of an unseemly affliction, well God sees them and will deal with those who rejected her as He sees fit!"


Victoria smiled, "you have not rejected her and it's plain to see she is happy here."


Felicia recovered her cool irony, "I am happy too, not only is Agnes a fine gardener, she can cook food fit for the Angels as well!"


Marric loved his new knife. It was a fine blade, shining and bright, with a bone handle that felt warm and rough in his hand, as though it had always belonged there. He kept craning his neck to see the stiff leather scabbard attached to his belt. He loved the scabbard almost as much as the knife itself. The Spanish leather was intricately tooled and a brass letter M was attached to it. When Patrone had bought it for him in the saddlery shop, Marric's heart had nearly burst with joy. He had never before had such a gift, well...not in this country anyway! He loved the knife and the scabbard and more than both of these precious things, Marric loved the tall, dark-haired, deep-voiced man who had adopted him. His devotion to Nick was complete, he knew Nick was no story-book hero, his new father was hasty and impulsive sometimes and his temper was fierce. Marric did not fear him, perceptive enough to see beneath the loudness and the ferocity, the warm-hearted, loving and generous man that treated his new son with such kindly tenderness.


Marric had listened attentively as Nick explained the rules, the knife was for protection only and must never be used to attack, only for defence. He understood and by and large obeyed this command, Nick only twice had to confiscate the knife, giving it back after a short period of deprivation, seeing the grateful relief in the boy each time his precious weapon was restored to him. Nick acknowledged to Jarrod that his assessment both of the boy's needs and his reaction to the knife were absolutely accurate.


"I've gotta hand it to you Jarrod, you read that boy dead right!"


"Glad I could help Nick, I...er...I do have a couple of other theories about helping him if you'd like to talk about it."


"Of course! Come on in the study, where we can talk in private."


Marric was a natural watcher, he had found in his short and desperate life that it paid to develop certain skills. To be able to enter and leave places unobserved and the ability to eavesdrop unseen were among those survival skills. He was said by some to be uncannily aware of the thoughts and actions of others and to a degree, this was so. The rest of his knowledge however, was gained from more stealthy and down to earth sources than the supernatural. He lay now, hidden in his new father's study, carefully listening to Papa and Uncle Jarrod. In the brief time he had known them, Marric had come to love and trust both men, his affectionate and powerful father and his clever, cerebral uncle. He didn't want to abuse the trust of either man, but they were speaking of him and he felt an overwhelming compulsion to learn their purpose, so he swallowed down his reluctance to spy on his heroes and listened with quiet concentration to their conversation.


Jarrod poured brandy for himself and his brother, while Nick sat on the corner of Don Miguel's antique desk, watching his elder brother from under frowning brows. It was late evening now and a fire had been lit in the big fireplace, the logs crackled and spat, almost the only sound in the silent room. Jarrod handed Nick his glass and took a reflective sip of his own drink before coming to stand in front of the brooding rancher.


"I won't beat around the bush Nick, it's about the nightmares."


"Oh! Well look Jarrod, its been mighty good of you spelling me with the boy and all but I'll understand if you need to catch up some with your sleep you know."


"Don't be foolish Nick! I told you, I'm only too glad to help you with the boy. Truth to tell Nick, I'm fairly sure I'm beginning to love that boy as much as you do!"


Nick smiled gratefully, "yeah? Well from all he says and all he doesn't say, I'd guess the feeling's mutual Counselor."


Jarrod sat on the settee holding his glass in both hands, staring into the leaping flames of the fire. "I've been thinking about Heath Nick. Do you remember when he had the morphine problem after the war? Remember those dreadful dreams?"


"You mean when you hauled him off to the lodge and nursed him, yeah I drove up with the supplies, I could never forget it."


Well it used to help Heath, after one of those episodes to talk it out and it has occurred to me that it's the very thing we are preventing young Marric from doing. We soothe away the demons but we don't attempt to exorcise them."


Nick considered, then said quietly, "thing is Jarrod...I'm not sure I would be able...that is, it hurts him so much, I don't know if I could make myself drag him through it."


"I understand Nick, believe me I do, but I think we have to make up our minds to try. I thought maybe both of us could try."


Nick's expression was eager and almost pleading, "you mean...together? Well all right Big Brother, if you take the lead and I'm there to reassure the boy, we'll give it a try!"


"Good Nick, I think it's something we owe it to Marric to try and I have a feeling he'll help us like the brave boy he is."


"Jarrod, thank you, not just for this, for Soreback meadow, for coming here, well you know what I'm trying to say don't you."


Jarrod's blue eyes twinkled, "I know Nick, don't say any more."


Luis knocked and entered, "por favor Patrone, Senor Castillo wishes you to come, there is a question on the condition of a horse."


"Excuse me Jarrod, I'll be right back," said Nick following the major-domo out of the study. As the door closed behind him, Jarrod smiled slightly and drank the rest of his brandy, still staring into the fire. Without turning around he called softly over his shoulder, "you can come out now."


There was a long pause, then Marric emerged from the shadows of the bookcase behind Nick's desk. He stood resentfully before his uncle, "how did you know I was there?"


"I'm becoming familiar with your methods," remarked Jarrod dryly.


"What you said, did my Uncle Heath have bad dreams too?"


"Yes."


"Was he a little boy or a big boy like me?"


"He was a grown man."


"Was...was it hard for him to...get better?"


"Yes, but I helped him and so did your father."


"Why did he have them?"


"He was a prisoner and was cruelly treated by his captors."


"I'd like to meet him."


"You will I promise you."


"Do you really think I'm a brave boy?"


"Yes, very."


"I don't feel very brave right now!"


Jarrod held out his arms, "come here Soldier."


Marric scrambled willingly into the lawyer's lap and laid his head on Jarrod's breast. He loved the way Jarrod smelled, Nick smelled nice too, a manly sort of soap and horses, with Jarrod it was a different lemony sort of soap and a herby smell, of the hair oil he used.


"I love you Uncle Jarrod," the boy whispered diffidently.


"I love you too, try not to worry about the dreams, your father and I will be with you when we talk about them."


"Just then Nick's voice was heard bellowing at a hapless estancia hand and Jarrod cuddled Marric laughing, "now what could possibly hurt you when he's around?"

 

 


Part 12C

 

For the next two nights, Marric, weary after plenty of fresh air and exercise, slept like a log. The third night however saw a recurrence of his fearful nightmares and the two Barkley men were able to put their plan into operation. It was a nerve-wracking and gut-wrenching experience for both Nick and Jarrod and a fearful, upsetting ordeal for young Marric, but he valiantly tried to co-operate, responding through a storm of tears to all Jarrod's gentle questioning throughout the long night's interrogation and exploration of his pain.


It helped Marric, that he answered all of Jarrod's questions from the warmth and shelter of Nick's tenderly cradling arms. There was tactile comfort in the warmth of Nick's strong embrace and his soft but deep voice was equally reassuring as Nick gently encouraged him to open up to Jarrod's probing enquiries. Marric bravely tried to answer truthfully, even though he was frequently overset by his emotions, shivering pitiably with the distress of his hated remembrances. It was a shatteringly difficult task for the boy and for the adopted father and uncle who loved him, but all three doggedly worked their way through it until at last, worn out with the pain of it all, Marric reached the end of his endurance, his eyes rolling back in his head as he lost consciousness.


Nick looked down at the thin, inert figure in his arms, his own face working at the sight of the boy's pale sweat-soaked face. "God Jarrod! I hope we're doing the right thing, we're putting him through the mill here you know."


"I know Nick and it's hard on all three of us but if Heath were here I believe he'd say this is the way to help Marric overcome his demons." The lawyer squeezed his brother's shoulder, "come on let's get the boy tucked up, he'll sleep for hours now and we can catch a little shut-eye ourselves."


Nick's answering grin wavered, "what I need right now is a drink!"


Over the course of the next week, there were two further harrowing sessions as Nick and Jarrod took Marric through the details of his shrieking nightmares. The tale that gradually unfolded, of the unspeakably evil torments that Zelda had inflicted on the child sickened both men, but as Jarrod pointed out to his reluctant brother, they were learning valuable information which they could now begin to use to help poor Marric. Nick was, at best, only half convinced and Jarrod knew it would not be long before his compassionate brother demanded an end to Marric's gruelling ordeal.


The lawyer was right, one evening as Jarrod sat reading in the quiet library, Nick strode in, grimly frowning and stood before the log fire, hands on hips, chin jutting aggressively in his elder brother's direction. Jarrod calmly laid aside his book and fixed his enquiring gaze on Nick's scowling face.


"Something on your mind Nick?"


"Damn right there is! I want to know how many more times we're gonna put my son through the mill, he's a little boy Jarrod! I don't know how much more the poor kid can take."


"I understand Nick, but I honestly think we're making progress with him, believe me I find this as hard to stomach as you do and I wouldn't put him through it if I didn't think it would help him in the long run."


Nick turned and punched a fist into the wooden fireplace in his frustration, "how do we know though, how do we know if it's helping him or not."


Jarrod's vivid blue eyes twinkled, "well let's ask him Nick. Marric come over here will you?"


Startled, Nick's eyes searched round the library, settling wrathfully on the small figure emerging from the depths of the shadows. "What have I told you about eavesdropping Boy?"


Marric stayed where he was and wisely didn't answer his father's rhetorical question.


"Well quit skulking in the shadows there, come on over here like your Uncle Jarrod told you to!"


Marric came and stood in front of Jarrod's chair and glanced sideways up at Nick, his shrewd green eyes assessing his father's mood. Nick looked at the child sternly, and pointed an admonitory finger in Marric's direction, "I was having a private conversation with my brother, I was not talking to you."


"You were talking about me," came the coolly insolent response.


"Less of your back-talk Boy," ordered Nick wrathfully. He glanced at the lawyer, "how did you know he was there Jarrod?"


Marric's green eyes gleamed, "he's becoming familiar with my methods," he murmured wickedly.


"That'll be enough," said Nick in an ominous voice.


Marric cast another appraising glance at his father and concluded that he had pushed his luck far enough, "yes Sir," he said respectfully.


Jarrod smiled at his new nephew, "well, you heard what your father and I were discussing, now we want to know what you think. Has talking about your dreams helped you or not."


Nick had been looking rather sternly at his son but he had to turn away quickly to hide his sudden amusement as Marric stood squarely in front of Jarrod, digging his small hands into his vest pockets and tilting his head to one side as he answered his uncle. The mannerisms were both typical of Jarrod himself and even the judicially thoughtful tone of voice was carefully copied from the lawyer.  "Well, I've been thinking about that," said Marric solemnly.


Nick and Jarrod exchanged glances, both shared their amusement at the antics of the clever, impudent child.


Marric abandoned his play-acting, speaking now in a serious matter of fact tone, "I think the talks have helped."


"In what way?" Nick wanted to know.


"I...I'm not really sure, I mean I hate it when I have to tell you my dreams, but then...well then they don't seem as scary as they did before. I don't think I can explain why it helps Patrone, I just know it has."


Nick dropped a hand on Marric's blond head, gently ruffling the boy's hair, "all right, run along now, I want to talk to Uncle Jarrod in private."


"Yes Sir," said Marric starting for the door.


"And I mean in private Son!"


Marric grinned at both men and went out, softly closing the door behind him.


Nick exhaled a long exasperated breath, shaking his head, "I don't know Jarrod, he doesn't talk like any kid I ever met! He sounds like a little old man sometimes."


"I guess he's never had a proper childhood Nick, so perhaps we can't expect him to sound or act like a child. He's very smart and in his old life talents like listening in on things you weren't meant to hear came in pretty useful. One might almost call it an essential survival skill."


"Yeah, I guess you're right. So, what next, do we carry on working him through his dreams?"


Jarrod considered, "Marric's a highly intelligent boy, I suggest we leave it up to him to decide Nick."


The question of bad dreams did not arise for the next three nights as the Barkley brothers led the estancia men in a final and almost certainly forlorn search for the missing wagon train. To Marric's joy, Nick allowed him to accompany the searchers and he spent his days blissfully riding beside his adored father and his nights sleeping soundly next to Nick's solidly reassuring figure. No nightmares marred the child's sleep. His long days in the saddle wore him out, for he was still far from strong and he slept as soundly as Nick could wish for the duration of the search.


Once again the efforts of the searchers were in vain, not a single trace of the missing families came to light and Nick announced at the end of the third day that they had done their best but it was over. He would report to the Mexican army barracks in San Cristobel when he delivered the cattle that all the areas allotted to the estancia had been thoroughly searched, without result. Nick warmly thanked his men, all of whom had tried hard to at least turn up some evidence that might have explained the fate of the missing Mormons. The next day, the search party headed for the estancia again. In a few days, Nick knew he needed to head the herd out for San Cristobel if he was to finally fulfill the army contract.


Two days later the three Barkley brothers took to the trail together again. Nick had asked Carlos if he would mind standing guard at the estancia so that all three brothers could go on the cattle drive to San Cristobel. Carlos was intuitive enough to realize that Patrone was deriving deep if unspoken pleasure from the company of two of his three brothers and he readily agreed to remain behind with a substantial group of hands. Jai and his bandits might well have a sizable contingent of the Mexican army on their tails, but the Del Rio spread was not about to relax its vigilance, that would never happen again.


This time Nick adamantly refused to take Marric along, even though the child pleaded with all his might to be allowed to join the drive. The boy was still unnaturally thin and persuading him to eat was a daily struggle. He was weak and tired easily and although he had enjoyed every minute of the three day search for the Mormons, he was clearly also exhausted by it. Nick held the weeping boy close and sat down with him in his lap while he explained why he wouldn't take Marric with him. It took him time and patience but at length he reconciled Marric to being left behind at the estancia. "One thing Son, I want you to be a good boy for your grandmother and for Dominica and Adrienne too, try your very hardest not to bite anyone will you?"


"I'll try Papa, I'll stay in my room and not get in any trouble while you're away, I promise."


Nick kissed his son, "I love you Soldier."


Marric clung to the man he adored, "I love you too."


Jarrod and Nick rode companionably side by side, their recent reunion was a source of the deepest satisfaction to both men and simply spending time together was balm to both men's spirits. Their topic of conversation was their youngest brother, who was happily, if somewhat inexpertly riding herd up ahead of them.


"The boy looks pretty well don't you think?" Nick grinned at Jarrod.


"He looks wonderful Nick, a different young man altogether, it's been a long time since I saw him looking so healthy."


"Well he's hardly touched a drop of booze since he got here and he's had plenty of fresh air and exercise, good food." Nick glanced sharply at his brother, "I don't want you worrying about him any more Counselor, hear me? He's gonna be just fine."


"Yes I think he is, he can't explain why he feels so much better about himself now, but he definitely does. He isn't the same lost soul that came into Mexico with you Nick."


"No, I can see the change in him too."


"I want to thank you Nick."


"What for, kidnapping him?"


Jarrod smiled, "yes in a way, if he hadn't had you to turn to, I dread to think what the consequences might have been. As it turns out, nothing could have been better."


"Well I want to thank you too, you've been a big help with Marric, I would never have known how to help him, but you've been right every step of the way."


"My pleasure Nick."


Victoria came into the breakfast room from the garden, it was a beautiful day and she had been for a pre-breakfast stroll. Taking her seat, she glanced around the table. Dominica was pouring the coffee and Adrienne had her tiny daughter in her lap. Little Audra-Jane was fed up in the nursery, when she could be persuaded to eat at all but Marric usually came to the table, even if he didn't eat very much. This morning there was no sign of him. Victoria smiled, "isn't Marric down yet, it's a lovely day, I thought I'd get him to show me the estancia."


Adri said nothing, just glanced at Dominica and it was she who answered. "The thing is Victoria, Marric is not...well...not very trustworthy around women. Oh, he doesn't mean to be bad, but if anything makes him suddenly panic, then he bites. He is much worse with women than with men. So Nick has agreed with him that he will stay in his room until Nick gets home."


Victoria frowned, "oh that's ridiculous, we can't keep the poor boy imprisoned just in case he bites one of us, I won't have it!"


Adrienne said softly, "it is Nick's wish, we can hardly disobey him, he is Patrone here after all."


Dominica nodded, "if Nick has decided that it should be this way, I think we should do as he says."


It was a novel idea for Victoria Barkley, the idea of Nick as master of the house and arbiter of the conduct of those within it and not one that could be expected to appeal to her. She sipped her coffee, deep in thought and at length, she came to a decision. "Excuse me Girls, I'll be right back," she said briskly and went out of the breakfast room and up the stairs.

 

 


Part 12D

 

Victoria found Marric, fully dressed, sitting rather forlornly on his bed and came into his room smiling reassuringly at him. The boy stood up and moved to the window, he stared out over the busy courtyard and without looking at Victoria he said quietly, "you're not supposed to be here Grandma, I...might hurt you."


Without hesitation the Barkley matriarch crossed the distance between them, coming to stand directly behind Marric and slipping her arms round his neck. She pulled him gently back against her and said encouragingly, "oh I don't think you'll hurt me Darling."


She kissed his cheek and laid her cheek alongside his, "I want you to come riding with me after we've had breakfast and you can show me all the best places on the estancia. If you do that for me, I'm going to do something nice for you."


He turned in her arms and faced her, she smoothed back his short, rather spiky fair hair. Marric shook his head sadly, "Papa says I have to stay here."


"Don't you worry about your father, I'll make it all right with him."


There was a spark of hope in the fey green eyes, "you...you will?"


"Yes, come down and eat something and then we'll go riding."


Hand in hand they descended the stairs together and Marric smiled eagerly at his adopted grandmother. "What's the something nice?"


Victoria returned the smile, "I'm going to tell you all about your father. I know Uncle Jarrod has told you some stories about your father's war service but I bet you'd like to hear about his childhood wouldn't you?"


They had reached the bottom of the stairs and Marric turned to her with almost absurd eagerness. "Oh yes! Please Grandma I'd like that a lot!"


She patted his cheek, "nobody on this earth knows more about your father than I do, I'll tell you all about his boyhood on the ranch in California," she paused, "if you eat a good breakfast I'll talk about Nick all morning long!"


To Victoria's satisfaction, Marric ate the biggest breakfast she had seen him eat since her arrival in Mexico. True to her word, as they rode around the estate, she told the boy tale after tale of Nick's childhood. Reflecting, as she noted Marric's rapt attention, that Jarrod had been entirely correct in reasoning that Marric's devotion to Nick was the key to reaching and helping him. Their morning in the saddle passed off without mishap or incident of any kind and when they returned to the house at lunchtime, Marric did justice to his midday meal as well.


That night, just as the three ladies were bidding each other goodnight on the landing outside Victoria's bedroom door, a blood-curdling shriek from Marric's room, signaled that he was again in the grip of a fearful dream. Victoria went at once to his room and, wrapping a towel swiftly around her arm, she roused the twitching, tormented little figure from his evil sleep. He awoke in a panic and at once sank his teeth into her forearm, desisting only when she had shaken him into full awareness. Because of her forethought, she was unscathed and soon calmed the boy's tears and distress. She settled him into her lap, warmly wrapped in his quilt and told him more stories about Nick until he slept again, this time in a deep untroubled sleep.


The next morning, Marric came to Victoria, stammering an embarrassed apology for biting her, which she cut short with a smile. "You didn't bite me Darling, look, can you see any damage?" She held out her bare forearms and Marric scrutinised them carefully.


"No Grandma, but I did try to bite you."


"No you didn't Sweetheart, at least not deliberately, please don't give it another thought. Are we going riding again today?"


The veil of trouble had disappeared from Marric's green eyes, "yes please Grandma, I'd like that a lot!"


For the next two days, Victoria and her adopted grandson were inseparable, riding all over the estancia together, talking of many things but especially of Marric's favourite subject, Nick Barkley. Marric ate well and slept even better, there were no further nightmares. On the third day, Marric was showing Victoria the meadows on the estancia property boundary, which adjoined the dirt road, leading to Santa Alva, when they spotted the dust of a large group of riders approaching.


"It's Patrone!" Exclaimed Marric eagerly, spurring his horse forward to intercept the advancing riders.


"Marric, no! Come back, it might be the raiders, Marric!" The boy galloped on, unheeding, with his grandmother in hot pursuit and soon they could see the advancing horsemen more clearly. To Victoria's profound relief, it was indeed the returning estancia crew and she relaxed as the recognizable figures of her three sons came into view. Marric rode toward the men like a thing possessed and Victoria's heart was in her mouth as she watched him come out of the saddle, perching himself with his feet on the back of his slowing horse. As the animal drew level with Nick, who had spurred ahead to meet his son, Marric let go of his reins and leapt athletically from his horse's back and into Nick's arms. It was a death-defying stunt, accomplished with consummate skill and it stunned all who witnessed it.


Nick was laughing and scolding all at the same time but Marric ignored his reproofs, his arms tight around Nick's neck as he covered him with welcoming kisses. Jarrod and Gene had ridden up now and Victoria joined them, turning her horse to walk alongside the group. One of the hands had caught Marric's horse and brought it for him, the boy vaulted back into the saddle as easily as he had left it.


Jarrod waited until Nick and Gene were distracted, greeting their mother and turned curiously to his nephew. "Now where I wonder, did you learn to ride like that?"


Marric was still laughing with delight over his exploit and turned an open and confiding face to Jarrod, "I learned..." He broke off, and it was as though a shutter slammed down over his face, his eyes suddenly wary, "I...don't remember," he said unconvincingly.


Jarrod let it go, he had almost succeeded in catching the boy off guard but Marric had swiftly recollected himself. He would be very careful now not to betray himself. The lawyer wasn't beaten yet though, he was convinced that old Andre Rakovsky could shed light on Marric's history, he would talk to the old man again, try to persuade him to tell them where Marric came from and who he really was.


It was not until considerably later in the day that Nick had a chance to ask why Marric was out riding with his grandmother rather than remaining in his room. There were too many things to do at first, from being ecstatically reunited with Dominica to catching up on estancia business with Carlos. Marric stuck to Nick like glue, accompanying him everywhere he went until finally Nick ordered him to bathe before dinner.


"But I don't want to leave you!"


"I'm not going anywhere," laughed Nick, "go on Boy, git!"


Marric ran off and at once Nick turned to his mother, "how come the boy was out with you Mother, I told him to stay in his room?"


Victoria was aware of the tension in Dominica and Adrienne but she answered Nick calmly, "yes Dear I know you did and he didn't disobey you, it was my doing."


Nick was exasperated, "it was foolish Mother, he might have hurt you."


"He might have done, but as you can see he hasn't. It was something Jarrod said that gave me an idea, I decided to try it out and it worked."


Victoria glanced at Jarrod, a clearly signaled request for his support and he didn't disappoint her. The lawyer poured Sherry and handed his mother her glass, saying to Nick as he did so, "I made a discovery about Marric quite soon after I met him Nick. I noticed how eagerly he lapped up any little details about you and about your life. It occurred to me that telling him stories about you might be a way that Mother and I could bond with him and it seems to work."


Victoria nodded, saying eagerly to Nick, "it certainly does work! He loves to hear stories about you, your boyhood, your years as a soldier, anything, so long as it's about you."


Nick was sitting rather rigidly, his face as set as a stone mask and Jarrod looked searchingly at him, "I hope you don't mind Nick," he said mildly.


The rancher looked up at his brother frowning, "no, no of course not," he answered quietly.


When Nick tucked Marric into bed that night, his adopted son grinned at him, "is it true you put a frog down Bessie Gibbons back in the middle of a church service when you were my age?"


Nick returned the grin, "yes it's true and don't even think about emulating me, or I'll give you a spanking as sound as the one my father gave me!"


Marric continued to pelt Nick with questions about Nick's boyhood adventures until Nick firmly told him it was time for sleep.


As he softly turned down the lamp and shut the boy's bedroom door, Nick reflected that Jarrod's shrewd assessment of Marric had been entirely correct. It all served to make Nick more convinced than ever that his recent thoughts and misgivings about Marric were right, the rancher knew he had some hard thinking to do and perhaps an even harder decision to make. He would take some time to think the matter through before saying anything to the rest of the family.


Throughout the next day, Nick was morose and silent, taking every opportunity to be off by himself, to the point where almost everyone began to question whether he or she had upset him in some way.


Victoria talked privately with her eldest son and Jarrod agreed to tackle Nick about what was eating him at the first suitable opportunity. He got his chance in the early evening when he found Nick alone in his study, standing in a very familiar pose, arm resting on the mantelpiece, staring down into the bright fire.


"Can I come in Nick?"


The rancher glanced unsmilingly over his shoulder, "sure Jarrod, come on in and have a drink," he answered, but didn't move from his position by the fireplace.


"Don't mind if I do, it's getting cooler these evenings," said Jarrod crossing to the drinks tray and pouring two whiskies. He brought the glasses over to the fire and handed one of them to Nick who took it without a word, still avoiding Jarrod's eye.


The lawyer didn't beat around the bush, "Nick, if either Mother or I have upset you by our actions concerning Marric, I hope it goes without saying, we were only trying to help."


Nick looked up frowning in puzzlement, "well of course it does, I know that Jarrod."


"Then you're not put out about it?"


"I told you Jarrod, no."


"You've been mighty quiet all day Nick anything I can help you with?"


Nick met Jarrod's eyes at last and appeared to come to a decision. "Yeah, I need to talk to you Jarrod, to ask you to do something for me. I've given it a lot of thought and little as I like it, I think I'm right."


"Well, that sounds rather ominous but if I can help you Nick you know I will."


Nick paced away from his brother and then back again, he was apparently finding it hard to speak his mind.


"Out with it Nick, what is it you want me to do for you?"


Jarrod stood calmly smiling, waiting for his brother's reply, but when it came, Nick's words effectively wiped the smile from his face, leaving him shocked and speechless for a moment.


" I want you to adopt Marric in my place, I'm not the right man to play father to him, it's you he needs, not me."


Jarrod made a huge effort to gather his scattered wits and hoped that the dismay he felt was not mirrored in his face. He took Nick's glass, forcing a rather rigid smile to his lips and said, "well I don't know about you Nick but I could use a refill!" He brought fresh drinks and pressed Nick's glass into his hand, "well I have to say Nick, you've taken me by surprise, come and sit down and tell me why you think you're not the right father for Marric."


Nick sat wearily down on the settee and Jarrod sat beside him, half-turned to face his brother. Nick leaned forward, hands clasped in his lap, when he spoke, his voice was quiet and sorrowful. "When I rescued that boy from the camp, there was something about him that touched me, I mean struck a real chord with me Jarrod. My only wish was to take care of him, I think I knew right away that I intended to adopt him. I guess it must have surprised you when you found out I had already decided to do that."


"To be honest Nick, yes, it did."


Nick ‘s smile was perfunctory, "well it surprised me too, It just seemed right at the time."


"What's happened to make you feel differently Nick?"


"I don't feel differently Jarrod, I don't think I ever could feel differently, I just think that you would do a better job of fathering the boy than me."


"Tell me why Nick."


Nick stood up, moving restlessly to the fireplace and stood frowning into the flames for a moment before turning to Jarrod once more. "You're a clever man Big Brother, you always were and you've shown me just how clever you are in your dealings with Marric."


"I don't understand Nick."


"You've read that boy right all the way Jarrod! You cottoned on to his reasons for needing the knife, you saw the way for us to help him through the bad dreams and you recognized that he loves to be told about me and then you were smart enough to use that to get to him, you and Mother. I love Marric, I've never had a kid of my own but I don't believe I could love him more if I had fathered him."


Jarrod intervened softly, "I'm quite sure you couldn't Nick."


Nick struck his fist into his palm, "but loving him isn't enough Jarrod. This is a very special boy with a lot of problems. He needs help, the kind of help a smarter man than I'll ever be can give him."


Jarrod was thinking fast, his initial reaction to Nick's suggestion had been shocked disbelief, then as it sank in that Nick was serious, he had suffered a sinking feeling, his mind full of the image of his wife Sarah's face at the time when he had adopted Danny Mathews. Her reaction had been one of bitter hurt, that Jarrod could take so huge a step without her approval and the thought of facing her with a similar situation, dismayed the lawyer more than he could say. All of these feelings, he hoped he had concealed from Nick, now he needed to dissuade his brother from this course of action and how to do so, without risking another rift between them, Jarrod simply did not know.


He stood up and came to Nick, laying a hand on his troubled sibling's shoulder, "I won't argue with you Nick, you're right that Marric needs all the help we can possibly give him, if he's to ever have a chance at leading a normal life. He needs love too and that he's gotten from you since the first day you met him, all the love any child could possibly need! It's true that I've made some deductions about Marric and yes, they have turned out pretty well and I'm glad of it, glad to have been of help. I'll tell you one thing though Nick, your love for Marric is reciprocated, that kid idolizes you, he has you on a pedestal ten feet tall!" Jarrod broke off as a sudden remembrance flashed into his brain and he sighed with relief, now he could explain to Nick how impossible it was for any other man to be Marric's father. "I want to share something with you Nick, something Carlos told me about the rescue at the circus. He told me about the moment when you were tending little Audra- Jane, he said Marric put his arm around your shoulders as you crouched on the ground bending over the little girl. He said it was as though Marric just knew he could absolutely trust you." Jarrod forced Nick to meet his eyes, "Carlos said it wasn't you that chose Marric, it was Marric that chose you to be his father. If you reject him now, you'll damage him beyond any hope of recovery, you can't do it Nick, it's that simple."


Nick stood rigidly still, torn and uncertain, he had been worrying about his ability to nurture Marric for some time now and his doubts wouldn't easily be dispelled. "I just...I just want to do what's best for him Jarrod, you understand me?"


"Indeed I do Nick and believe me, having a close and loving father like you is what's best for him. I'll help Nick, you can depend on that and I know Heath will too when he gets the chance, but it's you Marric wants as his Papa."


Nick's troubled hazel eyes searched his brother's face, "you think so?"


"I know so Nick!"


A shaky sigh escaped Nick, "I've been worrying about it all," he confessed.


Jarrod's hands tightened on Nick's shoulders, "don't worry about it any more Nick, when it comes to Marric, we're in this together, you, me and if I'm any judge, Heath too."

 

 

 

Continued…