Victoria's Christmas Wish
by Lindabrit

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

It was really too chilly to sit for any length of time in the quiet garden, amidst her winter roses, but Victoria Barkley couldn't bring herself to rise and go indoors again. It was so peaceful sitting here on the marble bench, the crisp air scented with the profusion of blossoms that had budded late and were lingering right through until Christmas. She had no idea how Silas managed to ensure that she had roses to put on her Christmas dining table, but he always did, coaxing the magnificent flowers to bloom for most of the year in an exuberant riot of beauty.

She had come outside for a brief respite from her pre-Christmas labours, she liked the house to look festive and the food to be both plentiful and delicious. To ensure that all was just as it should be, she was quite prepared to work tirelessly and for the last week, she had been busy with the holiday preparations. Her short rose-garden reverie had been a welcome period of tranquility in the middle of a truly hectic day, hectic, but nevertheless an interesting day.

Two months now, Heath had been here, living as a member of the family and so much had changed since his arrival. His first days in the big house had been uncomfortable, both for him and for his new family. His siblings, the three brothers and one sister had all reacted to him in different ways. Older brother Jarrod had, from the first, tried to offer both friendship and guidance and Audra too had been a truly kind and loving sister to her new brother.

Nick? Her dearly beloved second son had struggled to accept the intrusion of a stranger into his settled way of life. He wanted to, his mother knew him well enough to know that, but he had conflicting emotions to reconcile. His loyalty to his late father made it hard for him to accept the offspring of Tom Barkley's infidelity easily. Yet, from the outset, though he viewed Heath with deep suspicion, Nick admired the self-contained confidence of his new sibling and his many ranching skills. Victoria watched sympathetically as Nick fought his personal demons and came to know and ultimately to trust his new ranching partner.

Heath had found it even harder to achieve a measure of understanding with his younger brother Eugene. The youngest Barkley had refused to compromise whatsoever, never wavering in his hostility to the newcomer. Heath had won him around though, the two of them had paid a brief but fruitful visit to the Barkley hunting lodge and somehow, a friendship had been forged in that isolated intimacy.

Each new day now brought the newcomer just a little closer to his new family, in many small but significant ways. The successful trail drive had been the start of it, Heath had returned triumphant, having met the tight deadline for delivering the huge combined herd to the army. He had circumvented the machinations of General Wallent too, his deep distrust of Nick's old commanding officer had proved to be well-founded and against over-whelming odds, Heath had won the respect and loyalty of the Barkley hands and exposed Wallent for a dangerous madman.

Heath had been gleefully happy on his return to the mansion, noticeably more at ease and bubbling over with enthusiasm as he recounted his adventures to his admiring relatives. Nick Barkley had been quietly stunned by Heath's achievements and for a time had been lost in profound gloom and deep thought. Victoria knew him well enough to realize that he was not envious of Heath's triumph, but his confidence had certainly been shaken by his new sibling's capabilities and also by Wallent's perfidy.

It had been the start of a new trust between Nick and Heath and today, Victoria had seen a new and very interesting affirmation of it. Nick had surprised his foreman Dave McCall by telling him to bring up to the house a beautiful sorrel stallion he had been training as a cutting horse. Mac had been watching the horse's progress with interest, for Nick's beloved Coco was getting old and Mac had assumed that Nick intended to replace him with the sorrel. Nick's instruction to the foreman to have Heath Barkley's saddle put on the sorrel had amazed Mac. So much so that he had hesitated to carry out the instruction.

"Er...you quite sure about that are you Nick?"

The flash of anger in Nick's hazel eyes surprised McCall. "You getting hard of hearing Mac?"

"No Sir! I'll go get the horse."

The whole family had been there when Nick gave Heath the magnificent gift. They had all been home to lunch and trooped outside all curious to know what was going on. Heath was the most curious of all, all Nick had said was that he was to come outside because he had a surprise for him and Heath followed his elder brother to the front door wondering what the surprise could possibly be.

Confronted by the most splendid cutting horse he had ever laid eyes on, Heath had stood stock still, his appreciative eyes fixed on the beautiful creature.

"Well, what do you think of him?"

Heath turned to Nick with a broad grin, "he's a beauty, I never saw a finer cutting horse, is this the one you were telling me about, the one you've been training?"

"Yep, I reckon he's getting there and besides you'd prefer to finish training him yourself wouldn't you?"

Heath's blue eyes glowed with pleasure at the unexpected gift, "you're giving him to me?"

Nick grinned happily, "well your little Modoc lady isn't cut out for ranch work and I can't have my partner riding around on a remuda horse now can I? I mean, how are you gonna keep up with me?"

Heath returned the grin and his eyes were warm with gratitude and affection, "thanks Nick," was all he said, but the listening Victoria had heard a world of understanding and friendship between the two men and her heart had been glad for them both.

Heath had been in the corral all the afternoon with his new treasure and it was clear that there was an instant affinity between horse and rider. At length, reluctantly, Heath returned the horse to the barn and curried him to satin perfection. He came out of the barn and spotted Victoria still sitting amongst her roses. He crossed to her and stood smiling down at her.

Victoria's heart was warmed by the young man's obvious delight in his new horse, she couldn't recall seeing him so animated since his return from the trail drive a month before. She smiled up at him.

"Nick seems to have given you a fine gift?"

"Yes Ma'am, he sure has."

Victoria closed her eyes in despair, there it was again, that dreadful ‘Ma'am'. She had told him she loathed it and he had done his best to stop using it but had been unable to find a substitute. She had told him she didn't mind if he used her first name but he had been horrified at the thought of taking such a liberty. He had once tentatively called her ‘Mrs Barkley' but the angry flash from Victoria's hazel eyes had ensured that he didn't repeat the offence. He had fallen since then into a habit of not really calling her anything. He would simply smile and say ‘good morning, how are you today? But without adding any salutation.

Victoria smiled and patted the seat beside her, Heath sat down, stretching his weary body out with a sigh of relaxation.

"How do you like the horse?"

"He's a beauty, I never had such a horse in my life."

"What is his name?"

"Charger, kind of suits him don't you think?"

"Yes I agree, a noble name for a noble animal."

The wind had risen slightly and the light was beginning to fade, Heath glanced at Victoria, "are you cold? Shall I fetch you a wrap?"

"No thank you Heath, I'm fine."

She had noted his innate courtesy from the first, however deficient in material things Heath's upbringing might have been, there had clearly been no lack of love. Heath was unfailingly polite and courteous and had a gentle manner with women. These traits had obviously been instilled in him by his mother and Victoria thought she must have been a very remarkable woman.

A stab of pain assailed her, as it still did whenever she thought of Leah Thomson, for the hurt of Tom Barkley's infidelity was still a fresh, raw wound and she knew it would take time to heal, if it could be healed. An optimistic and positive person by nature, Victoria believed that it could indeed be healed. The process had already begun, the trip to Strawberry and the letter of revelation provided by strange old Hannah had done much to assuage her grief.

She knew that one of the reasons Nick had viewed the decision to include Heath in the family with doubt, was his concern that she should not be needlessly hurt by Heath's constant presence in her life. She looked at the quiet figure seated companionably beside her, he was a constant reminder, but only of her beloved husband, for he was physically very like him, not of Tom's betrayal. A strong- minded and perceptive woman, Victoria had resolutely set her mind to derive comfort from the young man she had already learned to love. She absolutely would not regard him as the living proof of Tom's perfidy, not ever.

Heath smiled at Victoria as he asked her a question, "did you enjoy your Christmas lunch at Mrs Perlman's house yesterday?"

"Yes, indeed I did, Minnie and I pulled the wishbone of the turkey and I won so I made a Christmas wish."

"What did you wish for?"

"I can't tell, otherwise it won't come true."

Heath grinned and took her hand between both of his, rubbing it gently. "You're getting cold, we should go indoors now."

"In a minute," agreed Victoria, unwilling to break up her tete-a-tete with him. She smiled lovingly at Heath, "I'm so glad you like the horse, he looks like he could be quite a challenge."

"Yeah, he's strong and he has a will of his own, but I can handle him all right."

"I'm sure you can, but you must promise me not to break your neck racing any more trains you bad boy!"

She had spoken lightly and he was laughing as he answered automatically, "yes Mother."

Victoria froze into absolute stillness, not wanting to shatter the moment and beside her she was aware that Heath too was utterly motionless, as an embarrassed blush spread from his neck over his cheeks and up to the roots of his hair.

"I'm sorry," he murmured quietly and she could hear the mortification in his voice. Victoria prayed for the right words to tell him how she felt and knew instinctively that total honesty was the only way with this young man.

"Please don't be sorry, I don't believe you could pay me a finer compliment than to call me mother."

His clear blue eyes searched her face and read the truth there, she meant what she said.

"It just slipped out," he confessed. "Truth is, you look a whole lot like her, like my mother, well it's more than that really. You are like her, as a person." A soft reminiscent smile played about his mouth, "she was small and delicate-looking, but like you she was feisty as well, had a real fighting spirit and...and I see the same in you."

Victoria smiled tenderly at him, "Hannah briefly mistook me for Leah when she first saw me."

"I'm not surprised...anyway...I'm sorry I called you mother."

Her clear hazel eyes held his gaze unwaveringly, "are you? I'm not, I thought it sounded just perfect."

For a moment she feared she had been too forthright because he didn't reply at once and his expression was troubled. His fair head dipped and he said quietly, "it sounded pretty good to me too, only..."

"Only what? She prompted gently. "When he didn't immediately reply, she tried to help him. "Do you perhaps feel it would be disrespectful to Leah's memory? If you do, then I'll understand."

It was heart-warming to see the instant shake of his blond head and his honest blue eyes met hers, "no it isn't that, my mother was a very wise and generous lady and I think she'd understand."

"Then it's your brothers and sister you're concerned about?"

"I guess so, I mean I'm getting along pretty well with them all now but I'm not sure how they'd react."

"In my experience, my children are usually in agreement with anything they think will make me happy."

His earnest eyes gazed at her and she thought she saw a spark of hope and pleasure in them. He asked a quiet question, "would it make you happy if I called you Mother?"

Victoria did not hesitate, "yes it would," she said simply.

He smiled at her, not the tentative half-smile that he habitually used, but the rich, sparkling grin, that illuminated his whole face and which was seen so rarely. "If you're sure, then Mother it is."

"She reached one of her small hands to cup his lean cheek and leaned forward to kiss his other cheek, "bless you Darling," she said in a voice that trembled with happy tears.

Heath was looking worried again, "Mother?"

"Yes Dear?"

"How are we going to break the news to the rest of the family?"

Victoria laughed slightly, "I think we'll just let them find out this evening when we all assemble for dinner. You offer me a sherry as you usually do and do NOT call me Ma'am!"

"No Mother, I surely won't," Heath assured her.

By the time Victoria descended the stairs that evening, the rest of her family were all assembled in the brightly lit living room. Nick the rancher stood to one side of the big marble fireplace and his older brother Jarrod sat near him in one of the two armchairs. The other armchair was vacant, left so for Victoria to use when she joined the family circle for a pre-dinner drink. Audra sat on the settee beside her younger brother Eugene and Heath was at the drinks tray. He had already poured and passed drinks to his three brothers and his sister and had just poured himself a whisky when Victoria came into the room.

Both her seated sons rose as she came in and Victoria smiled a general welcome as she sat down in the vacant armchair. At the drinks tray, Heath drew a resolute breath, here goes, he thought. He smiled across at the lady he had so swiftly learned to love. "Will you have a sherry Mother?"

"Yes please Dear," said Victoria in a voice of casual calmness.

Heath brought the glass to her and was aware as he did so of the startled glances being exchanged between his siblings. He went back to the tray and picked up his own glass, coming to stand near Victoria, casting a slightly challenging look around the rest of the family as he did so. Jarrod smiled at him and Nick did too, also giving an infinitesimal nod of the head. The two younger Barkleys were all smiles too and Heath breathed a sigh of relief.

As they went in to dinner, Victoria who was on Heath's arm, twinkled up at him and spoke so quietly that only he could hear her.

"Heath?"

"Yes Mother?"

"Thank you for making my Christmas wish come true."

THE END